Jokes n Pranks

Jokes and Pranks for April Fools' Day

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 13:19:00 +0000

Got Milk?

If your milk comes in a cardboard container, add a few drops of food coloring. It's harmless April Fool's joke but the results are pretty colorful.

What's That in Your Apple?

For a fruity April Fool's practical joke, get a few gummy worms and carefully poke them into fresh fruit, particularly apples. Give mom or dad a wormy apple for lunch and leave a few apples on the table for friends and family members to snack on.

Spare Change

This April Fool's practical joke is old but it still works. Superglue some coins to the sidewalk or any spot that has a lot of people walking around. Make sure it's an appropriate place, then watch people break fingernails to get the coins.

Look What I can Do!

Ask your victim, er.. friend to put a quarter on a piece of paper and, without removing their finger, trace the coin with a pencil. Repeat the "test" with a few fingers. After that's done, get the victim to pick up the quarter and roll it along the bridge of their nose. Then quietly snicker behind their back as they walk around with a black line along their nose. Don't use a permanent marker cuz that's not cool.

Bad Christmas Jokes, Funny Jokes On Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 12:50:00 +0000

What do you call Santa Clause after he’s fallen into a fireplace?

Krisp Kringle

Which of Santa’s reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?

“Rude”olph

Where do Santa’s reindeers like to stop for lunch?

Deery Queen

What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down a chimney?

Santa Claus-trophbia

What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish

What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?

Fleece Navidad

What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?

Ribbonhood

Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?

Because he had low elf esteem.

How do canines in Mexico say Merry Christmas?

Fleas Navidog.

Christ Eve Jokes

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 07:26:00 +0000

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !

How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?
The letter "D" !

What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail !

Who delievers cat's Christmas presents ?
Santa Paws !

Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney ?
Because it soots him !

Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents?
Elephanta Claus !

How many chimney does Father Christmas go down ?
Stacks !

Why is Santa like a bear on Christmas Eve ?
Because he's Sooty !

Christmas Carols For The Disturbed

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 14:40:00 +0000

1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Dementia — I Think I’ll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and…..

6. Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why

9. Attention Deficit Disorder — Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — - Jingle Bells,! Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Halloween Jokes, Funny Halloween Jokes, Skeleton Jokes

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 11:07:00 +0000

A skeleton joke
How do skeletons get their mail?
By bony express!

A vampire joke
What kind of medicine does Dracula take for a cold?
Coffin medicine!

A vampire joke
Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin?
It wanted to play squash!

A vampire joke
How do vampires keep their breath smelling nice?
They use extractor fangs!

A vampire joke
What do vampire footballers have at half times?
Blood oranges!

A ghost joke
Where do ghosts get an education?
High sghoul!

A ghost joke
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home!

A cannibal joke
What happened when the cannibal got a religion?
He only ate Catholics on Fridays!

A cannibal joke
What do you call a massive witch doctor?
Mumbo jumbo!

A vampire joke
Why did the vampire give up acting?
He couldn’t get his teeth into the part!

A skeleton joke
What do you call a skeleton who won’t get up in the mornings?
Lazy bones!

A werewolf joke
Why are werewolvse thought of as quick witted?
Because they always give snappy answers!

A Halloween witch joke
How can you tell an Italian witch from an English one?
By her suntan!

A werewolf joke
What do you get if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!

Yo Mama Jokes

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 10:56:00 +0000

Roses are red, violets are black, why’s Yo mama’s chest, as flat as her back?

Roses are red, Yo mom’s lips are blue, she sucked off that Smurf and did me up too.

Your momma is so fat...

Your momma is so far that when she walks outside with a yellow shirt on everyone yells "Taxi"

Yo Momma so ugly!

Yo Momma so ugly, when she stands in front of the mirror the reflection won't look at her!

Yo Momma is so ugly

Yo momma is so ugly she stuck her face out the window and she got arrested for mooning!

Yo mamma is so dumb

Your momma is so dumb that she put a free cookie on layaway.

Yo Mamma's So Fat...Zoo

Yo Mamma is so fat that when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her.

Yo Mama the Gourmet

Your mama cooks so bad, your family prays after they eat!

Yo mama's...Stupid

Yo mama's so stupid she asked for a price check at the 99 cent store.

Ur Momma So Fat when she stands on weighing scales it Reads to be continued.

The Toilet

Yo Mamma's so ugly when she passes by, the toilet flushes.

Yo mama so fat, the whales sing

Yo mamma's so fat, when she went to the beach, the whales sang "We are family!"

Halloween Jokes, Skeleton Jokes, Halloween Skeleton Jokes

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 03:25:00 +0000

When does a skeleton laugh?
When something tickles his funny bone.

Why don't skeletons like parties?
They have no body to dance with.

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body

What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone appetite !

Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?
It's good for the bones

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.

What is a young skeleton?
A skeleteen

What do skeletons like to eat?
Ribs

Which skeleton is a famous comedian from yesteryear?
Red Skeleton

What do you call a stupid skeleton?
A numbskull

What is a skeleton's favorite insult?
The word 'Bonehead'

How does a skeleton get into his house?
With a skeleton key

What do skeletons have nightmares of?
Dogs

What forms of major education do skeletons attend?
High Skull

What did the skeleton get for killing a ghost?
2000 Bone-us points

Santa's Interview

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 05:14:00 +0000

Interviewer :Give me the opposite words.

Banta Singh : Ok

Interviewer : Made in India

Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan

Interviewer : Good... Keep it up.

Banta Singh : Bad.... Put it Down

Interviewer : Maxi Mum

Banta Singh : Mini Dad

Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat

Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don't Take my seat

Interviewer : Idiot! Take your Seat

Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my Seat

Interviewer : I say you get out!

Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in

Interviewer : I reject you!

Banta Singh : You Appoint me

Interviewer : ....!!!!!!!

Touch Breasts

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 05:12:00 +0000

A slimy fellow proposed a one dollar bar bet to a full figured girl. Despite her dress being buttoned to the neck, he could touch her breasts without touching her clothes.

Since this didn't seem remotely possible, she was intrigued and accepted the bet. He stepped up, cupped his hands around her breasts and squeezed firmly.

With a baffled look, she said, "Hey, you touched my clothes" and he replied, "Okay. I owe you a dollar."

Halloween Jokes, Funny Halloween

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 05:06:00 +0000

Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A: He had no guts.

Q. Why do vampires scare people? A. They are bored to death!

Q. How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? A. Every night he turns into a bat.

Q. What's it like to be kissed by a vampire? A. It's a pain in the neck.

Q. Why did the ghost go into the bar? A. For the Boos.

Q. Why was the girl afraid of the vampire? A. He was all bite and no bark.

Q. Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? A. He didn't have a haunting license.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party? A. He had no body to dance with.

Q. Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch? A. At the casketeria.

Q. What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? A. He is mist.

Q. Where did the goblin throw the football? A. Over the ghoul line.

Q. Why doesn't Dracula mind the doctor looking at his throat. A. Because of the coffin.

Q. Why is a ghost such a messy eater? A. Because he is always a goblin.

Chinese Punishment

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 11:23:00 +0000

Perwez Musharraf was returning from Beijing when his plane crashed. Somehow he survived and found himself in a remote section of Tibet. He walked for days on end and finally came upon a desolate and small monastery on a cliff-top. Tired and hungry, Musharraf climbed up the cliff and knocked on the door. An old monk welcomed him inside.
When he had told his story, the monk said, "I live here alone with my only daughter. You are welcome to stay here. I will give you food and water and you can rest here for the night. However you have to promise that you will not lay a finger on my daughter."
Musharraf was so tired that the idea of girls was the last thing he had in his mind. He gave his promise to the monk.
The monk said: "If you break your promise, you will be cursed with three Chinese punishments."
The monk took him to the dining hall and seated Musharraf. His daughter served the food and water for him. After he had eaten and drank enough, did Musharraf realise that the daughter was the most beautiful of all girls he had seen in his life. After the meal the girl took Musharraf to his sleeping quarters. Musharraf was very tired, but the memory of the girl forced him to start weighing his chances. He thought that the old monk could do him no harm and decided to take the risk. He went to the girl`s room and... later he came back to his room and went back to sleep. When he awoke Musharraf had a big stone resting on his chest.
On the stone was scribbled in chalk: "You broke your promise. This 50 pound stone on your chest is your first Chinese punishment."
Musharraf strained and lifted the stone and threw it out of the window into the valley. Suddenly he noticed a sign hanging in front of his window which said:
"Your left testicle is tied to the stone you just threw with a transparent but unbreakable thread... this is the second Chinese punishment."
Musharraf , being a fast thinker, jumped out of the window after the stone. While going down, he noticed some words scribbled on the cliff-side:
"Your right testicle is tied, with the transparent but unbreakable thread, to the foot of your bed which is bolted to the floor in your room. This your third Chinese punishment!"

Fashion Jokes and Humour

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 06:03:00 +0000

To enjoy quality fashion jokes and fashion humour, visit Fashion Jokes. And to know more about the latest trends in the fashion world, visit Fashions n Designs.

Marathi Diwali SMS, Marathi Diwali Jokes, Marathi Diwali Messages

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 05:29:00 +0000

Pahila diva aaj lago dari
Sukhachi kirney yehi ghari
Purna hoyo tumacha sarbo icha
Dipawalicha hardik subhecha

Adhinachi nawi
Soneri pahat
Navya sapnachi
Navyi laat
Navya arambh
Navya biswas
Dipavalichi heech par
Kharikhuri shuruwat

Halloween Jokes, Halloween Fun, Funny Halloween

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 11:46:00 +0000

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite...

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite...

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck...

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately...

Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don't have any body to go out with...

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Booberries...

What is a vampire's favorite sport?
Casketball...

What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving...

What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?
Shrinkenstein...

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer...

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves...

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends...

What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts...

What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel...

What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?
A scareplane...

What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
Bloodhounds...

What is a ghoul's favorite flavor?
Lemon-slime...

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich...

What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A trombone...

What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets...

Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath...

What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure...

Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation...

Keep off the Grass

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 08:08:00 +0000

A nurse was on duty in the emergency room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker mohawk, sporting a variety oftattoos and wearing strange clothing, entered.

It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely nude they noticed her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, ‘Keep off the grass.’ Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient’s dressing, which said, ‘Sorry, had to mow the lawn.’

Birthday Present To A Husband

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 08:07:00 +0000

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, “Hey, Dave! How ya doin’?” His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before.
“Oh, no,” says Dave. “He’s on my bowling team.”

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he’d like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,”How did she know that you drink Budweiser?” “She’s in the Ladies’ Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.”

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says “Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?”

Dave’s wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says, “Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.”

Bush's War Talk With Primary School Kids

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 08:05:00 +0000

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is.
"Billy".

"And what is your question, Billy?"

"I have 3 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
And
Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right --- question time. Who has a question?"

A different little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him what his name is. "Steve"

"And what is your question, Steve?"

"I have 5 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got! more votes?
Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?
And Fifth, what happened to Billy?"

Temptations

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 08:04:00 +0000

When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, "I am putting a box under our bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the better of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside.

In the box there were 3 empty beer cans and $1,974.25 in cash. After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her guilt and she confessed saying, "I am so sorry.. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked in the box under the bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know, Why do you keep the empty cans in the box?"

Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess that after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box to remind myself not to do it again."

Hillary was shocked, but thought to herself, "I am very disappointed and saddened, but I guess after all those years away from home on the road, temptation does happen and I guess three times is not that bad considering the number of years we have been together..."

They hugged and made their peace. A little while later, Hillary asked Bill, "So why do you have all that money in the box?"

Bill answered. "Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling center and redeemed them for cash."

Dilbert’s Best Quotes

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 08:02:00 +0000

1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.
6. I DON'T HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM, YOU HAVE A PERCEPTION PROBLEM.
7. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?"
8. My reality cheque bounced.
9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
10. I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
11. You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
12. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
13. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
14. Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level, and then beat you with experience.
15. A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the butt.

16. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
17. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
18. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
19. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
20. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
21. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
22. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
23. Following the rules will not get the job done.
24. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
25. Only the mediocre are at their best all the time.
26. There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
27. Bring ideas in and entertain them royally, for one of them may be the king.
28. If at first you don't succeed......skydiving isn't for you.
29. Life is a waste of time; time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
30. When everything is coming your way......you're in the wrong lane.

Golf : This hole holds bad memories

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 23:13:00 +0000

Bob and his three golf buddies were out playing and were just starting on the back nine when Bob paused, looked down the fairway and began to sob uncontrollably.

The other three gathered around him and asked: "What's wrong?"

Bob looked down at his feet, sniffed and dried his eyes some, then apologized for his emotional outburst. "I’m sorry, I always get emotional at this hole - it holds very difficult memories for me."

One of his buddies asked, "What happened? What could have gotten you so upset?"

Bob stared silently off in the distance, then said in a low voice, "This is where my wife and I were playing 12 years ago when she suddenly died of a heart attack; right at this very hole."

"Oh my God", the other golfers said. "That must have been horrible!"

"Horrible?! You think its horrible?" Bob continued still very distressed. "It was worse than that! Every hole for the rest of the day, all the way back to the clubhouse it was hit the ball, drag Alice, hit the ball, drag Alice..."

To read more about Golf visit Golf.

Diwali Jokes, Diwali Fun

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 22:55:00 +0000

On the eve of Diwali a blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer.

The player said, "When I get bad cards, it's not the dealer's fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so, why should I tip him?"

The dealer said, "When you eat out do you tip the waiter?"

"Yes."

"Well then, he serves you food, I'm serving you cards so you should tip me."

"Okay, but, the waiter gives me what I ask for. I'll take an eight.

Paying an Invoice

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 05:26:00 +0000

The owner of a golf course in Alabama was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Alabama and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

Bush Considering

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 05:38:00 +0000

Just hours after the release of al Qaeda leader Usama bin Laden's latest video message inviting all Americans to convert to Islam, U.S. President George said he would "seriously consider the offer, because it sure would simplify the war in Iraq."

"If I convert to Islam and order all of our troops to do the same," said Mr. Bush, "we can stay in Iraq indefinitely, drop the restrictive rules of engagement, save a lot of money by using cheap, unguided bombs, clear neighborhoods flat out, blow up mosques with impunity and still go to heaven — not to mention that I'd get more favorable coverage from the U.S. news media."

The president added that he might convert to Islam just to "find out what it's like to be a man who wears a dress and a bonnet and dyes his hair like a girl."

True Love

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 05:36:00 +0000

Little Johnny came home from his hot date and sat down to talk with his dad. He had a smile on his face. 'It must be true love, dad' he sighed.

'What makes you think that it is true love?' asks his dad.

'Well," says Little Johnny, 'Suzy started out giving me the best blow job I've ever had.'

'Nah,' replied his dad, 'that's not true love, it is just lust.'

The next night Little Johnny came in after his date, and sat down again to talk with his dad. 'For sure it is true love, dad.' he said.

'What makes you think that it is true love this time?' asks his dad.

'Well," says Little Johnny, 'Tonight Suzy gave me the best blow job of my life, then let me take her up the ass!'

'That's not true love, Johnny,' replied his dad, 'that is just infatuation.'

'If what Suzy and I have is just infatuation, then what is true love?' asked Little Johnny, confused.

'Well,' says his dad, 'if it was true love, she would let you f*ck her up the ass first, then give you the best blow job of your life!'

Another Beginner

noreply@blogger.com (admin) — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 05:35:00 +0000

Wee Willie was walking with Wanda, his new girlfriend, carrying her books home from grammar school. Both were eight years old.

"Wanda," said Wee Willie with a worshipping gaze, "you are the first girl I have ever loved."

"Dammit!" said Wanda, "another beginner."