Jokes for today

Tought Exam

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 19:04:00 +0000

One day a girl go to the exam hall. She do the exam until she finish the paper. Then, she went out after finishing her exam. Her friend ask her, how is it the exam? The girl said, quite tough, then her friend said " In Your Head". The girl was wondering, what is the purpose of her friend saying like that.She wonder for a while and she got it.

Her friend was correct, the exam was quite tough because she was thinking it in her head it was tough. Next day, the girl went again for the next paper and remember her friend said and do the exam easily on that day. Just think its easy.

Birds Fly

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 22:19:00 +0000

She's Not Eating It

In What Way Or Manner to Win a Woman Back

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 12:38:00 +0000

I have experience dealing with how to win a woman back.

When one day your girlfriend just elect to abandon you for whatever motivation. Can you deduce the blow,stress and regret you have to experience when something like this happen to you?

Something like this puts you through terrible emotional pain for long periods of time.

But, I did not allow this to get me down. I was able to ride out the blows and got back to my feet. In this condition I was still able to find a way to win a wife back. Look I had to put in every effort to get my marriage of over ten years on track again.

One reason why you're reading this article, is that you are looking for tips to win a wife back, whether it's your wife or your girlfriend.

Well, today I have good news for you. Based on my experiences I can come up with at least five tips on how to win a woman back.

Now then, without any delay, let us talk about those steps or tips that have helped me in my quest to win back my wife.

Tip 1:

I know you are in a hurry to get her back. But, do not rush and you must be really willing to endure. Do not trouble her during the first few weeks after the breakup by sending text messages, emails, calling her or bumping into her by "accident". Both of you need time to consolidate, think about what happened, sort out contradictory feelings,etc.

Tip Two:

In order to transform yourself for the better, you need to take time off by being in solitary. As the saying go, it takes two to tango. I breakup happens between two people and not just one. Lets face it, and do not try to refute it. You took a blow and some damage was caused to perhaps your ego or personality.

Tip 3:

Do not be afraid to cry. Men can can cry. To cry is absolutely natural in certain situations, especially a breakup. Just remember, when something like a breakup happens unexpectedly, it's normal to cry. But the point I want to make is that you should not stay at a standstill. You have to move on.

Tip 4:

The next step involves you to start to take action. You need to get out of your cave. I'm going to sound very contraversial by saying that you need to start dating someone. Yes, date another wife. You need to get out to rebuild you ego and self-confidence. This will make you even more irresistable for your ex and prepare you for the next step.

Tip Five:

By now you are prepared for the kill and to win your girlfriend back. You will need to speak to your ex, send a letter, text message, email, etc. Do not make the mistake by begging for her love. You need to be in control. Just impress on her that everything is fine with you and that you want to have a fantastic and enjoyable time with her.

Beware of Girls

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 13:10:00 +0000

One day, a girl, 16yrs old, heard from her mother that if she does a regular prayer for 4 yrs, a divine "Angel" would come to her in her dreams & give her 3 boons. So she decided to do it. She completed 4 years successfully, doing prayer regularly.

Now it was a day for "Angel" to come. So she slept earlier with thoughts in her mind to ask. And, really an "Angel" comes in her dreams. Now this is the dialogue between them.

Angel: O Girl, you prayed to me regularly within last 4 yrs, so I am very very happy with you. I will complete any of your 3 wishes. You can ask anything you like, but there is one condition.

Girl: Condition!, what is that?

Angel: You have a boy-friend?

Girl: Yes.

Angel: When you were doing a prayer, he was waiting for you, so he also sacrificed same as you. Moreover, he didn’t know anything about boon and all, so he is also eligible for the boons. So whatever you will ask, he will get 10 times more than that of you. If you are agreed, then proceed for the 1st boon.

Girl: (After thinking for some time …): Yes, I am ready.

Girl: 1st, make me 10 times richer than the richest person in the world.

Angel: But your boy-friend will be 10 times richer than you.

Girl: It’s OK.

Angel: Be as you wish!

Girl: 2nd, Make me 10 times more beautiful than the most beautiful girl in the world. Angel: But your boy-friend will be 10 times handsome than the most handsome boy in the world.

Girl: It’s OK.

Angel: Be as you wish.

Angel: Now the last boon remains.

Girl: O Angel, please give me a MILD HEART-ATTACK.

Angel: What? Are you sure!

Girl: Yes. Very sure!

Angel: Be as you wish.

Think friends, what happened to her boy-friend, he got a severe heart-attack & died at once, while the girl remained alive. Thus, the girl became the world’s most beautiful girl and the richest one, too.

Moral of the story: So intelligent the girls are! Girls are really more intelligent than we believe about them to be. So be careful boys!

Now, girls please stop reading … boys scroll down…

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Dear boys, don't worry, actually what happened is something different than what you all think! Actually, the girl’s boy-friend got a heart-attack, 10 TIMES MILDER than that of the girl. So the boy-friend lived longer than the girl, being world’s richest and the most handsome boy.

Moral of the story: Dear boys, the girls are not really that much intelligent than what we believe them to be. So don't worry if you think that you have girl-friend, intelligent than you.

Hey….I told u girls not to read…

Vuvuzela Photo Bomb!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 09:26:00 +0000

simple question but stupid answer

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 23 May 2010 07:23:00 +0000

Monkey wedding

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 16 May 2010 06:38:00 +0000

laughs for today

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 13:47:00 +0000

(1) DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn into stone. A part of me is getting hard already!

(2) NAMES OF WIVES
A Malay man had 4 wives, and he called his...
4th wife..... Baby doll
3rd wife..... China doll
2nd wife.....Barbie doll
1st wife..... Panadol !

(3) HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME
This is how India got its name.....
The king was having sex with his mistress while thinking a name of his
country and his mistress ask him "is it In Dear?"...

(4) RESEARCH FINDING
Research shows men are fatter than women because every-night
Men get fresh milk & 2 big papayas while women only get 1 banana, 2
Peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of starch!

(5) ARAB MAN
An Arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
'Your name pls.'?
"Abdul Aziz "
"Sex? "
"Six times a week!! "
"No, no, I mean male or female! "
"Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel!"

(6) SERVICE
Sex is like a restaurant.
Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service"

(7) HAPPY MAN
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy
and... Wife on the cover of "missing persons"

(8) SWIMSUIT
Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.

(9) GOOD AMBITION
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor!!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to
take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

(10) DENTIST
Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a
baby
than have a tooth removed."
Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly."

(11) VIRGIN
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. Wanted her tombstone to read:
BORN
A
VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "

(12) OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying - why???
Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything..

Funny Jaws

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 13:31:00 +0000

For Guyz Planning To Marry

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 07:56:00 +0000

Morning: Guys, in future if you do not prepare Breakfast then Dishummmmmmmmmmmmm..........

Evening: If you talk with your Colleagues (girls) at your home. Huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...........

Night: If you Deny to take her to Restaurant. Aiyooooooooooooooooo.........................

So Guys think before getting married.

The Break In

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 08:11:00 +0000

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

“You’ll get your chance in court,” said the Desk Sergeant.

“No, no, no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!“

Nice hair???

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 07:05:00 +0000

Do you want to fool around ?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 06:52:00 +0000

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, Do you want to fool around ?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.' So I said, ' 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

Forgetful Actor

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 06:22:00 +0000

There was once a great actor who could no longer remember his lines. After many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.

The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage at the opening carrying a rose. You hold the rose to your nose with just one finger and thumb, sniff the rose deeply and then say theline Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress."

The actor is thrilled. All day long before the play hes practicing his line over and over again.

Finally, the time came. The curtain went up, the actor walked onto the stage, and using just one finger he delivered the line, "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress."

The theatre erupted, the audience was screaming with laughter and the director was steaming!

"You bloody fool!" he cried, "You have ruined me!"

The actor was bewildered, "What happened, did I forget my line?"

"No!" screamed the director. "You forgot the rose!"

pussy cats

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 15:29:00 +0000

They suspect nothin!!lol!!!

Mind reading

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 05:46:00 +0000

Daddy's Phone Call

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 06:45:00 +0000

Child: “Hello?”

Daddy: “Hi honey. It’s Daddy. Is Mommy nearby?”

Child: “No Daddy. Mommy’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.”

Daddy: “Honey, you don’t have an Uncle Paul.”

Child: “Yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy.”

Brief Pause.

Daddy: “Okay, honey. I want you to put the phone down on the table and run upstairs. Knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.”

Child: “Okay Daddy, just a minute.”

Moments later the little girl comes back to the phone.

Child: “I did it, Daddy.”

Daddy: “What happened, honey?”

Child: “Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and began running and screaming. She tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all!”

Daddy: “Oh my God! What about your Uncle Paul?”

Child: “He jumped out of bed with no clothes on, too. Then he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool. I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he’s dead.”

***Long Pause***

Daddy: “Swimming pool? Is this 486-5731?”

Twilight

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 14:11:00 +0000

Wife of Yesterday Vs Wife of Today

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 13:24:00 +0000

Birthday gift for my wife

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 13:03:00 +0000

Rich was talking to his buddy at the bar, and he said, "I don't have a clue what to get my wife for her birthday - she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped."

His buddy said, "I have an idea - why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it - she'll probably be thrilled."

So the that's what Rich did.

The next day at the bar his buddy said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?"

"Yes, I did," said Joe.

"Did she like it?" His buddy asked.

"Oh yes! she jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling "I'll be back in an hour!!"

Caught Short

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 09:55:00 +0000

A girl takes her new boyfriend back home after the dance. She tells him to be very, very quiet as her parent are asleep upstairs and if they wake up, she would be in big trouble as she's not allowed to bring boys home. They settle down to business on the sofa, but after a while, he stops and says, "Where's the toilet, I need to go".

She says, "Its next to my parent's bedroom. You can't go there, you might wake them up. Use the sink in the kitchen instead."

He goes into the kitchen then, after a short while, he pops his head round the door and says to his girlfriend, "HAVE YOU GOT ANY PAPER?"

Cameraman pose for nice shot

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 09:06:00 +0000

Funny Video

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 08:54:00 +0000

extreme yoga

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 06:24:00 +0000

An Email for Bill Gates

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 12:39:00 +0000

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some
Problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button ’start’ but there is no ’stop’ button. We request you to check this.

2. We find there is ‘Run’ in the menu. One of my friends clicked ‘run’ he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to ’sit’, so that we can click that by sitting.

3. One doubt is whether any ‘re-scooter’ is available in system? I find only ‘re-cycle’, but I own a scooter at my home.

4. There is ‘Find’ button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ‘ find’ button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

5. My child learnt ‘Microsoft word’ now he wants to learn ‘Microsoft sentence’, so when you will provide that?

6. I brought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows ‘MY Computer’: when you will provide the remaining items?

7. It is surprising that windows says ‘MY Pictures’ but there is noteven a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

8. There is ‘MICROSOFT OFFICE’ what about ‘MICROSOFT HOME’ since I use the PC at home only..

9. You provided ‘My Recent Documents’. When you will provide ‘My Past Documents’?

10. You provide ‘My Network Places’. For God shake please do not provide ‘My Secret Places’. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.