Jokes of The Week - Funny, Naughty, Dirty and Blonde Jokes

Drunken Reincarnation : Funny Jokes, Clean Jokes, Naughty Jokes, Blonde Jokes and One Liners [del.icio.us]

jotw — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 23:58:20 PST

James, as usual, came home really late one Saturday night after being at the bar all night drinking. Not only was he drunk, he was sloppy drunk. He carefully crept into bed next his wife, who fell sleep angry hours earlier, and gave her a goodnight kiss on the check in hopes that she wouldn’t wake up. He awoke in the middle of the night to a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. “Who the hell are you,” demanded James, “and what are you doing in my bedroom?” The mysterious man answered “This is not your bedroom, and my name is St. Peter”.

Arm with hook : Funny Jokes, Clean Jokes, Naughty Jokes, Blonde Jokes and One Liners [del.icio.us]

jotw — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 23:57:55 PST

A young sailor was sitting in a bar having a few drinks when he looks over and sees a pirate. The pirate has a wooden peg-leg, a hook for a hand, and patch over his eye. Unable to resist, the sailor asks “How’d you end up with a peg-leg?” “I was swept overboard during a fierce storm,” says the pirate. “and a bloody shark bit off me whole darn leg!”

Hitman : Funny Jokes, Clean Jokes, Naughty Jokes, Blonde Jokes and One Liners [del.icio.us]

jotw — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 23:57:27 PST

Three friends were playing golf one beautiful Sunday morning, as usual, and they never missed a weekend. As one of them was about to take the first tee a guy, by himself, asked if he could join their flight. The friends looked at each other and figured “sure, why not,” as they haven’t played with anyone else in quite some time. So they teed off and all four were getting along pretty well. Right about the turn, on the 9th hole, they were all chit chatting and getting to know one another. Curious, one of the friends asked the new guy what he did for a living and, funny enough, he told them he was a hitman. They all kind of laughed it off, and asked him again - this time seriously. The stranger said “No really, I’m hitman. My gun is in my golf bag, I carry it everywhere I go. You can take a look if you don’t believe me, I’ve never been dishonest.”

I need a man... : Funny Jokes, Clean Jokes, Naughty Jokes, Blonde Jokes and One Liners [del.icio.us]

jotw — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 23:56:25 PST

Doc, you've gotta help me! My wife just isn't interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?" "Look, I can't prescribe..." "Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I'm desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate; my life is going utterly to hell! You've got to help me."

Does heart have legs? : Funny Jokes, Clean Jokes, Naughty Jokes, Blonde Jokes and One Liners [del.icio.us]

jotw — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 23:55:53 PST

One fine day at school, the teacher was teaching about the heart. After she had finished she said, "If any one has any doubts about what I have taught please ask." Little Johny stands up and asks, Teacher, does the heart have legs?"

Can I be pregnant? : Funny Jokes, Clean Jokes, Naughty Jokes, Blonde Jokes and One Liners [del.icio.us]

jotw — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 23:54:06 PST

A ten year old girl rushes to her grandmother and asks her, “Can I be pregnant?" Grandmother, "Are you fooling. You can not be pregnant. Go and play out side." The girl then goes to grandfather and asks him the same question and the reply also is the same.

Wet Problem : Funny Jokes, Clean Jokes, Naughty Jokes, Blonde Jokes and One Liners [del.icio.us]

jotw — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 23:53:47 PST

This lady is having a bed wetting problem, so she decides to go to the doctor. The doctor tells her to go and get undressed and wait for him in the other room. When the doctor goes into the room he tells the lady to stand on her head facing the mirror. She figures he is a doctor and gets in front of the mirror. The doctor goes over to the lady and rests his chin between her legs and looks in the mirror

Who Help? : Funny Jokes, Clean Jokes, Naughty Jokes, Blonde Jokes and One Liners [del.icio.us]

jotw — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 04:24:49 PST

A father with his curious son of seven years was walking on a calm road. Boy observed the sex of two dogs which had finally culminated in to locking and dragging them forward. Boy being curious asks father, “Dad. What both the dogs are doing?

1, 2, 3 or 4 : Funny Jokes, Clean Jokes, Naughty Jokes, Blonde Jokes and One Liners [del.icio.us]

jotw — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 22:49:16 PST

Two teenaged brothers were arguing with each other very strongly. The issue was who knows better and more about the sex. The elder brother of seventeen gives a challenge to his fourteen year old younger brother. He says "

Hot...Cold : Funny Jokes, Clean Jokes, Naughty Jokes, Blonde Jokes and One Liners [del.icio.us]

jotw — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 22:48:46 PST

Three women are talking about their boyfriends. "It's funny," says Samantha, "Peter's balls are always cold as ice when I'm giving him a blow job!" "You know what?" replies Jenny, "It's exactly the same with my Richard!" They turn to the third girl.

Take me...Take me : Funny Jokes, Clean Jokes, Naughty Jokes, Blonde Jokes and One Liners [del.icio.us]

jotw — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 23:26:41 PST

Defense Attorney: What is your age? Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you? Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Driving Styles : Funny Jokes, Clean Jokes, Naughty Jokes, Blonde Jokes and One Liners [del.icio.us]

jotw — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 23:25:13 PST

One hand on steering wheel, one hand out of window. - Sydney One hand on steering wheel, one hand on horn - Japan

Surgeon Opinions : Funny Jokes, Clean Jokes, Naughty Jokes, Blonde Jokes and One Liners [del.icio.us]

jotw — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 03:16:43 PST

An Ontario surgeon, says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." A Quebec surgeon responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour coded."

World War II : Funny Jokes, Clean Jokes, Naughty Jokes, Blonde Jokes and One Liners [del.icio.us]

jotw — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 03:16:06 PST

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. "Of course, my son," said the priest. "Well, Father, at the beginning of World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans

Nymphomaniac in Car : Blonde Jokes, Adult Jokes, Sex Jokes, Naughty Jokes and Funny Jokes [del.icio.us]

jotw — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 04:29:48 PST

A man walks into a bar, late one night completely knackered and dripping with sweat and orders 5 whiskies. "What's wrong with you?" The barman says. "In my car I've got a nymphomaniac - you couldn't