<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" media="screen" href="/~d/styles/atom10full.xsl"?><?xml-stylesheet type="text/css" media="screen" href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~d/styles/itemcontent.css"?><feed xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:openSearch="http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearch/1.1/" xmlns:georss="http://www.georss.org/georss" xmlns:gd="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005" xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0" xmlns:feedburner="http://rssnamespace.org/feedburner/ext/1.0" gd:etag="W/&quot;Ak4GQX09fyp7ImA9WhRRFE4.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391</id><updated>2011-11-27T16:08:40.367-08:00</updated><category term="job" /><category term="SMS Jokes" /><category term="kids" /><title>Jokes The Great : The Laughing Zone</title><subtitle type="html">A Huge Collections of All kind of jokes...Community jokes, Computer jokes, Celebrity jokes, Pappu jokes, Filmi / Movie jokes ,Letter Jokes, Political jokes, Husband &amp;amp; wife Jokes and many other categories of jokes. Read it , Share with others. Make them Laugh!! ENJOY JOKES</subtitle><link rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#feed" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/" /><link rel="next" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default?start-index=26&amp;max-results=25&amp;redirect=false&amp;v=2" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><generator version="7.00" uri="http://www.blogger.com">Blogger</generator><openSearch:totalResults>89</openSearch:totalResults><openSearch:startIndex>1</openSearch:startIndex><openSearch:itemsPerPage>25</openSearch:itemsPerPage><atom10:link xmlns:atom10="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone" /><feedburner:info uri="jokesthegreatthelaughingzone" /><atom10:link xmlns:atom10="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" rel="hub" href="http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/" /><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;DEIMRXk-eip7ImA9WhdQE04.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-6138301863760359059</id><published>2011-08-14T08:43:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2011-08-14T08:43:04.752-07:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2011-08-14T08:43:04.752-07:00</app:edited><title>Santa Jokes 2</title><content type="html">&lt;div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
In an African Safari,A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.&lt;br /&gt;
WIFE-Shoot him! Shoot him!&lt;br /&gt;
SANTA-Yes Yes.I'm changing d battery of my camera..&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A man to Santa:&lt;br /&gt;
Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.&lt;br /&gt;
Santa rushes home and came back within&lt;br /&gt;
half an hour and slapped the man&lt;br /&gt;
and said:&lt;br /&gt;
"He's not my friend."&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Santa:&lt;br /&gt;
Major Rohail told me T.V cabel is not good for kids,&lt;br /&gt;
they don't study,so i got rid of it&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Banta: Good?&lt;br /&gt;
Santa: Now we have a Dish Installed&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,&lt;br /&gt;
Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.&lt;br /&gt;
Lady calls again, Santa replies,&lt;br /&gt;
I'm coming daily since 4 days,&lt;br /&gt;
I press the bell but no one comes out.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Santa cuts sides of the capsule&lt;br /&gt;
before taking it?&lt;br /&gt;
Guess why?&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
.&lt;br /&gt;
To avoid the side effects!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him.&lt;br /&gt;
Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?&lt;br /&gt;
Because the bank's slogan was:&lt;br /&gt;
We make your dreams come true...&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Pappu while filling up a form:&lt;br /&gt;
What should I write against mother tongue.?&lt;br /&gt;
Santa: Very long.....!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-6138301863760359059?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/XhIIL7-P_vFyZBrzo6n-0yASMY8/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/XhIIL7-P_vFyZBrzo6n-0yASMY8/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/XhIIL7-P_vFyZBrzo6n-0yASMY8/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/XhIIL7-P_vFyZBrzo6n-0yASMY8/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/X9UZYHnKRjU" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/6138301863760359059/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=6138301863760359059" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/6138301863760359059?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/6138301863760359059?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/X9UZYHnKRjU/santa-jokes-2.html" title="Santa Jokes 2" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2011/08/santa-jokes-2.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CkUARX07fip7ImA9WhdQEkQ.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-3901689861077070047</id><published>2011-08-13T19:50:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2011-08-13T19:50:44.306-07:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2011-08-13T19:50:44.306-07:00</app:edited><title>Santa Jokes</title><content type="html">&lt;div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"&gt;An englishman and santa inside the toilet. &lt;br /&gt;
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do? &lt;br /&gt;
Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do! &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ultimate answer while changing the job.&lt;br /&gt;
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?&lt;br /&gt;
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where.. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
After an accident, a very angry driver says: I showed you the headlights and told you to move to the side, right?&lt;br /&gt;
Santa: I also started the wipers and said No... No... No&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Teacher: If I saw a man beating a dog and stopped him then what virtue would i be showing?&lt;br /&gt;
Santa: Brotherly love.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Santa: Knock Knock!&lt;br /&gt;
Banta: Who's there?&lt;br /&gt;
Santa: Luke&lt;br /&gt;
Banta: Luck who?&lt;br /&gt;
Santa: 'Luke' through the key hole and you'll know who?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Santa: Mom, last night when I opened the toilet door, the light went on itself.&lt;br /&gt;
Mother: Idiot, you again peed in the refrigerator! &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.&lt;br /&gt;
Banta: Santa You'll die.&lt;br /&gt;
Santa: You'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.&lt;br /&gt;
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.&lt;br /&gt;
Santa: I didn't say he got out. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Santa giving exam while standing at the door.&lt;br /&gt;
A man asked "Why are you standing at the door?"&lt;br /&gt;
Santa: "Idiot, I am giving entrance test." &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-3901689861077070047?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/xH5eVPXWVxlR2d0gkHfMDak2tVQ/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/xH5eVPXWVxlR2d0gkHfMDak2tVQ/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/xH5eVPXWVxlR2d0gkHfMDak2tVQ/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/xH5eVPXWVxlR2d0gkHfMDak2tVQ/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/PmBmxmcFNHI" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/3901689861077070047/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=3901689861077070047" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/3901689861077070047?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/3901689861077070047?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/PmBmxmcFNHI/santa-jokes.html" title="Santa Jokes" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2011/08/santa-jokes.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CkMMQ3o9fyp7ImA9WhdRFUg.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-5331492864180194524</id><published>2011-08-05T06:04:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2011-08-05T06:21:22.467-07:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2011-08-05T06:21:22.467-07:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="SMS Jokes" /><title>Funny SMS Jokes Page 1</title><content type="html">&lt;div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"&gt;************************************************************************&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;World's Smallest resignation letter?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt; Respected sir,&lt;br /&gt;
I love ur wife.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
************************************************************************&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
A girl says to her boyfriend, One kiss and I'll be yours forever.&lt;br /&gt;
The guy says thanks for the warning!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
************************************************************************&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?&lt;br /&gt;
A: He wanted to see butterfly!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
************************************************************************&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?&lt;br /&gt;
Banta: Me too, after u leave.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
************************************************************************&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;Dad to Son : When I beat u how do u control your anger.&lt;br /&gt;
son: I start cleaning toilet.&lt;br /&gt;
Dad: how does that satisfy you?&lt;br /&gt;
Son: I clean with ur tooth brush.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
************************************************************************&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;Dying husband: I have something to tell you. Wife: Don't speak, just rest.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;Husband: No, I must confess, I had sex with your sister and your best friend. Wife: Sshhh. I know! That's why I poisoned you.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
************************************************************************&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;Husband asks, do u know the meaning of wife.&lt;br /&gt;
It means... - without - information - fighting - everytime!&lt;br /&gt;
Wife on hearng this says, it could also mean - with idiot for ever!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
************************************************************************&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;Whats the difference between Data and Information?&lt;br /&gt;
362436 - Data&lt;br /&gt;
36-24-36 Information!..&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
************************************************************************&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;KISS is purely organic and naturally sweet, has no artificial ingredients and is 100% wholesome...Here's one for you...MMWAAAH! Have a nice day!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
************************************************************************&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;I love 3 things! The sun, the Moon and U! The Sun for the Day, the Moon for the night, and You forever!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
************************************************************************&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;Thought for the night: Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine into your brain and that's where you get shitty ideas. Have a nice fart!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
************************************************************************&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-5331492864180194524?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/9o1Y_7Tv8DH5nLKX5-8SrwhPN3I/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/9o1Y_7Tv8DH5nLKX5-8SrwhPN3I/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/9o1Y_7Tv8DH5nLKX5-8SrwhPN3I/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/9o1Y_7Tv8DH5nLKX5-8SrwhPN3I/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/sFAfwlgA5V4" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/5331492864180194524/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=5331492864180194524" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/5331492864180194524?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/5331492864180194524?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/sFAfwlgA5V4/funny-sms-jokes-page-1.html" title="Funny SMS Jokes Page 1" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2011/08/funny-sms-jokes-page-1.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;DUACQnc9eip7ImA9WhdRFUk.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-6551419035684750106</id><published>2011-08-05T05:31:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2011-08-05T05:36:03.962-07:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2011-08-05T05:36:03.962-07:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="kids" /><title>Never ignore kids</title><content type="html">&lt;div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
The 12-year-old boy stood patiently beside the clock counter while the store clerk waited on all of the adult customers first. Finally he got around to the youngster, who made his purchase and hurried out to the curb, where his father was impatiently waiting in his car.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
"What took you so long, son?" he asked.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
"The man waited on everybody in the store before me," the boy replied. "But I got even."&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
"How?"&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
"I wound and set all the alarm clocks while I was waiting," the youngster explained happily. "It's going to be fun at eight o'clock."&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;The way to reach Heaven&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
A priest was talking to a group of kids about "being good" and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?"&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
"Heaven! Heaven!" Yelled Little Lisa..&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
"And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the priest.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
"Dead!" Yelled Little Johnny&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-6551419035684750106?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/xcP9zc83G7iTWMZSLfa4wSHQlrs/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/xcP9zc83G7iTWMZSLfa4wSHQlrs/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/xcP9zc83G7iTWMZSLfa4wSHQlrs/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/xcP9zc83G7iTWMZSLfa4wSHQlrs/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/G5Bm52DWiqw" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/6551419035684750106/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=6551419035684750106" title="1 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/6551419035684750106?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/6551419035684750106?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/G5Bm52DWiqw/never-ignore-kids.html" title="Never ignore kids" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>1</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2011/08/never-ignore-kids.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CkUBR388eSp7ImA9WhdRFUg.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-3063040042238791715</id><published>2011-01-11T16:22:00.003-08:00</published><updated>2011-08-05T06:17:36.171-07:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2011-08-05T06:17:36.171-07:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="job" /><title>Only One Jobe Left</title><content type="html">&lt;div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"&gt;An &lt;strong&gt;mexican&lt;/strong&gt; man goes to the job centre looking for a job… ” We’ve only one job. It’s at Billy Smarts Circus as a lion tamer”&amp;nbsp; woman said at the job centre.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"&gt;“I can’t do that” says Paddy “It’s easy, just go down there and Billy will take you through it” woman replied…&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"&gt;So , the next day Paddy goes down to the circus, go in the cage and Billy will takes Paddy through step-by-step. Three enourmous lions come towards Paddy… “Crack the whip” Billy says “Crack the whip” So Paddy cracks it and they continue approaching. “Hurray ..what do I do” “Crack it twice, That always works” So he cracks it twice. Lions continue coming… Paddy instructs ” Go in the corner and pick up th sh*t” “Where, There is none” paddy replies “There will be” Replied Billy.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;Most Hazardous Section in Hospital&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #343434; font-size: 16px;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"&gt;A nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital. "This will be the most hazardous section in the hospital for you. The men on this floor are almost well."&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-3063040042238791715?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
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&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/NuSNSlJcSnfyl4_FzlNXwsA3cA8/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/NuSNSlJcSnfyl4_FzlNXwsA3cA8/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/Fz79jUCfro4" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/3063040042238791715/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=3063040042238791715" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/3063040042238791715?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/3063040042238791715?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/Fz79jUCfro4/only-one-jobe-left.html" title="Only One Jobe Left" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2011/01/only-one-jobe-left.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CUYBQXY-fSp7ImA9Wx9XE0s.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-291435331282355592</id><published>2011-01-06T16:34:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2011-01-06T17:19:10.855-08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2011-01-06T17:19:10.855-08:00</app:edited><title>Top 20 Funny Oneliners</title><content type="html">&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;War does not determine who is right - only who is left. &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-291435331282355592?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
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&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/26Vb5E5-iwpbEozY-VURnhcOUTE/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/26Vb5E5-iwpbEozY-VURnhcOUTE/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/Zeh-j-vIlCU" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/291435331282355592/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=291435331282355592" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/291435331282355592?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/291435331282355592?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/Zeh-j-vIlCU/top-20-funny-onelines.html" title="Top 20 Funny Oneliners" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2011/01/top-20-funny-onelines.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CkYHR3w8eyp7ImA9Wx9XEEk.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-3726213549316338491</id><published>2011-01-02T23:10:00.001-08:00</published><updated>2011-01-02T23:35:36.273-08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2011-01-02T23:35:36.273-08:00</app:edited><title>Resolutions You Would be Tempted to Keep</title><content type="html">&lt;b class="a"&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;For those who are scared of making resolutions here are some resolutions     they would actually be tempted to keep!! &lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;ul class="b"&gt;&lt;li&gt;Spend more time watching TV / movies. &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Chat more over phone / Internet. &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Read less. &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds. &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Stop exercising. Waste of time. &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Procrastinate more. &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Drink. Drink some more. &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Start being superstitious. &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Spend more less time at work. &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more. &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Take up a new habit: Maybe smoking! &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-3726213549316338491?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
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&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/CPdkVRmma9lhcbU2Ob4ZPQvY9xA/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/CPdkVRmma9lhcbU2Ob4ZPQvY9xA/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/uTBgX4k6fo8" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/3726213549316338491/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=3726213549316338491" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/3726213549316338491?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/3726213549316338491?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/uTBgX4k6fo8/resolutions-you-would-be-tempted-to.html" title="Resolutions You Would be Tempted to Keep" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2011/01/resolutions-you-would-be-tempted-to.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;A0MCQn45fyp7ImA9Wx9XEE4.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-8522311617715690508</id><published>2011-01-02T23:09:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2011-01-02T23:24:23.027-08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2011-01-02T23:24:23.027-08:00</app:edited><title>Funny New Year Resolutions</title><content type="html">&lt;div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"&gt;&lt;a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__ujm1A04HOw/TSF5juNIiUI/AAAAAAAAAHI/yHEOW0CCLEU/s1600/new-years-resolutions.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"&gt;&lt;img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__ujm1A04HOw/TSF5juNIiUI/AAAAAAAAAHI/yHEOW0CCLEU/s1600/new-years-resolutions.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;h1&gt;&lt;/h1&gt;&lt;table align="RIGHT" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width: 165px;"&gt;&lt;tbody&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;         &lt;td&gt;&lt;/td&gt;       &lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;         &lt;td&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/td&gt;       &lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;/tbody&gt;&lt;/table&gt;&lt;b&gt;Check out these funny and innovative New Year's Resolutions! Enjoy     these and make some for yourself...Surely you will enjoy!!      &lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li class="b"&gt;Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in         my nightdress. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt; I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will         spend it worrying about the future. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I         will think of some more excuses. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I will do less laundry and use more deodorant. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Assure my lawyer that I will never again show up drunk at a custody         hearing. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly.... &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I will try to figure out why I *really* need nine e-mail addresses. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I will stop sending e-mails to my wife (husband).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone         at the same time with the same person. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of         course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I will think of a password other than "password." &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I will not tell the same story at every get together. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I won't worry so much. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I will cut my hair. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I will grow my hair. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so         obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me         again, I'll tell him he stinks! &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I will be more imaginative. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I will not hang around girls - they think you love them and that         sucks. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her         phone number. &lt;/li&gt;
&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-8522311617715690508?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/_v5laoQo0xpZ5QwhF7TYdGUShVw/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/_v5laoQo0xpZ5QwhF7TYdGUShVw/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/_v5laoQo0xpZ5QwhF7TYdGUShVw/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/_v5laoQo0xpZ5QwhF7TYdGUShVw/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/zwEj32To0JQ" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/8522311617715690508/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=8522311617715690508" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/8522311617715690508?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/8522311617715690508?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/zwEj32To0JQ/funny-new-year-resolutions.html" title="Funny New Year Resolutions" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__ujm1A04HOw/TSF5juNIiUI/AAAAAAAAAHI/yHEOW0CCLEU/s72-c/new-years-resolutions.jpg" height="72" width="72" /><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2011/01/funny-new-year-resolutions.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;A0UMQnwyfyp7ImA9Wx9QGU0.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-1564373956779648386</id><published>2011-01-01T11:14:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2011-01-01T11:14:43.297-08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2011-01-01T11:14:43.297-08:00</app:edited><title>New Year Jokes</title><content type="html">&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;Quit smoking&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
A friend asks his friend for a cigarette. &lt;br /&gt;
His friend says, "I think you made a New Year resolution to quit smoking". &lt;br /&gt;
The man says, " I am in the process of quitting". Right now, I am in the middle of phase one. &lt;br /&gt;
What's phase one? &lt;br /&gt;
I've quit buying. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;New Year's Eve Party - Phantom Guest?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Trevor's New Year's Eve party was an annual occurrence with numerous guests arriving.&amp;nbsp; During the evening, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led to where the drinks were, in the kitchen.&amp;nbsp; He sat there happily, chatting away, for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. 'You know,' he confided to Trevor, 'I wasn't even invited to this party.&amp;nbsp; I just came over to tell you that some of your guests' cars are blocking my drive.'&amp;nbsp; He continued, 'My wife's been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved, so that we can go out.'&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;h3&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;A New Year Dream&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/h3&gt;Aishwarya was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Abhishek, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you think it all means?'&lt;br /&gt;
'Aha, you'll know tonight,' answered Abhishek smiling broadly.&lt;br /&gt;
At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Abhishek approached Aishwarya and handed her small package.&amp;nbsp; Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: 'The meaning of dreams'.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-1564373956779648386?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/8VlSa9mFMcNrtx3Dsxna_q9nZ5U/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/8VlSa9mFMcNrtx3Dsxna_q9nZ5U/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/8VlSa9mFMcNrtx3Dsxna_q9nZ5U/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/8VlSa9mFMcNrtx3Dsxna_q9nZ5U/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/EI5Py5hxDjc" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/1564373956779648386/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=1564373956779648386" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/1564373956779648386?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/1564373956779648386?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/EI5Py5hxDjc/new-year-jokes.html" title="New Year Jokes" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2011/01/new-year-jokes.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;D0YAQXs5fip7ImA9Wx9RGU4.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-7249204138718452191</id><published>2010-12-21T04:39:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2010-12-21T04:39:00.526-08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2010-12-21T04:39:00.526-08:00</app:edited><title>13 Things You Wouldn't Know Without Movies</title><content type="html">&lt;ol&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting. &lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-7249204138718452191?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/DugLyokMKh-9aV9MDLV-YG2FCP4/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/DugLyokMKh-9aV9MDLV-YG2FCP4/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/DugLyokMKh-9aV9MDLV-YG2FCP4/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/DugLyokMKh-9aV9MDLV-YG2FCP4/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/AL7hEtq_2jI" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/7249204138718452191/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=7249204138718452191" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/7249204138718452191?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/7249204138718452191?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/AL7hEtq_2jI/13-things-you-wouldnt-know-without.html" title="13 Things You Wouldn't Know Without Movies" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2010/12/13-things-you-wouldnt-know-without.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;DkIDQ30_eSp7ImA9Wx9RGU4.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-5056493731568523047</id><published>2010-12-21T04:21:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2010-12-21T04:29:32.341-08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2010-12-21T04:29:32.341-08:00</app:edited><title>Male Female</title><content type="html">&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;A woman                walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with                a fly swatter.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
"What are you doing?" she asked.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;                &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;"Hunting                  flies," He responded.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;"Oh,                  killing any?" She asked.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;"Yep,                  three males, two females," he replied.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;Intrigued,                  she asked, How can you tell?&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;He                  responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;*****************************&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt; &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;u&gt;A                  Woman's Prayer:&lt;/u&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I pray for:&lt;br /&gt;
Wisdom, To understand a man.&lt;br /&gt;
Love, To forgive him and;&lt;br /&gt;
Patience, For his moods.&lt;br /&gt;
Because if I pray for Strength&lt;br /&gt;
I'll just beat him to death.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt; &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-5056493731568523047?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/p4hX37UzIml6TJcAkRsuBSkThxI/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/p4hX37UzIml6TJcAkRsuBSkThxI/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/p4hX37UzIml6TJcAkRsuBSkThxI/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/p4hX37UzIml6TJcAkRsuBSkThxI/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/PEXUAbBmoiY" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/5056493731568523047/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=5056493731568523047" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/5056493731568523047?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/5056493731568523047?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/PEXUAbBmoiY/male-female.html" title="Male Female" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2010/12/male-female.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CU4AQnw4eip7ImA9Wx9RGU4.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-7488028516101507087</id><published>2010-12-21T04:15:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2010-12-21T04:19:03.232-08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2010-12-21T04:19:03.232-08:00</app:edited><title>Bad Luck</title><content type="html">&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"&gt;A            woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several            months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"&gt;One day,            when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by            him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been            with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to            support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot,            you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here.            When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know            what?" "What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to            fill with warmth.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"&gt;”I think you're bad luck."&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"&gt;*************************&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;"&gt;To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a     little. &lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;"&gt;    To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to     understand her at all.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"&gt; &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-7488028516101507087?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
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&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/0hWjFm1_Gt5eFpTqL7CHXFAUdH4/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/0hWjFm1_Gt5eFpTqL7CHXFAUdH4/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/e8ezQHXSviQ" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/7488028516101507087/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=7488028516101507087" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/7488028516101507087?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/7488028516101507087?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/e8ezQHXSviQ/bad-luck.html" title="Bad Luck" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2010/12/bad-luck.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CUQCQXw5fip7ImA9Wx9RGU4.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-709524368846630412</id><published>2010-12-21T04:08:00.001-08:00</published><updated>2010-12-21T04:09:20.226-08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2010-12-21T04:09:20.226-08:00</app:edited><title>Top Ten Things I Can Say Now That I Lost "American Idol"</title><content type="html">&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;10.                  "If I had won, I was gonna blow the prize money on candy                  and fireworks"&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;9.                  "Honestly, I thought I was auditioning for 'The Apprentice'"&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;8.                  "Ryan Seacrest isn't as smart as he seems on TV"&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;7.                  "If you want to see me 'perform,' I'll be working the noon-to-8                  shift at Old Navy tomorrow"&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;6.                  "George W. Bush didn't win the popular vote either, and he's                  done pretty well for himself"&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;5.                  "Underneath that table, Randy Jackson doesn't wear pants"&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;4.                  "Until 10 minutes ago, I had no idea who Dave Letterman was"&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;3.                  "I could take down Clay Aiken with one arm in a sling"&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;2.                  "I handled my loss well -- I gathered my belongings, said                  my goodbyes and keyed the crap out of Simon's car"&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;1.                  "I have one thing to say to the voters: What in the hell                is wrong with you people?"&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-709524368846630412?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
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&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/jIPBjkcCy7EQrp7g9Jx3iHi59k8/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/jIPBjkcCy7EQrp7g9Jx3iHi59k8/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/b21fqYAk-wY" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/709524368846630412/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=709524368846630412" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/709524368846630412?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/709524368846630412?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/b21fqYAk-wY/top-ten-things-i-can-say-now-that-i.html" title="Top Ten Things I Can Say Now That I Lost &quot;American Idol&quot;" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2010/12/top-ten-things-i-can-say-now-that-i.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CUYCQ38_fSp7ImA9Wx9RGU4.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-8035673424890602009</id><published>2010-12-21T04:05:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2010-12-21T04:06:02.145-08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2010-12-21T04:06:02.145-08:00</app:edited><title>Top Ten Signs You Won't Win "American Idol"</title><content type="html">&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
From the Late Show with David Letterman&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"&gt;10.                  You dedicate "I Will Always Love You" to Saddam Hussein&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"&gt;9.                  Backstage, people say, "Are you still here?"&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"&gt;8.                  North Korea says if you lose they'll stop producing enriched uranium&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"&gt;7.                  Your mother says, "You're okay, but I'm really a big fan                  of Ruben"&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"&gt;6.                  You were recently named the three of clubs on the "Most Wanted                  Iraqi" playing cards&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"&gt;5.                  You've already appeared on another reality show -- "Cops"&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"&gt;4.                  Vegas gives you the same odds of winning it all as the Mets&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"&gt;3.                  You cancel your performance to stay home and watch "Jag"&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"&gt;2.                  Simon beats you with the microphone stand&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"&gt;1.                  Your voice is muffled by the SARS mask&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-8035673424890602009?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
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&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/tOTsAiHCdl1A7w3yR2U_Ub2N9l8/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/tOTsAiHCdl1A7w3yR2U_Ub2N9l8/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/eX3YvRYY_JE" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/8035673424890602009/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=8035673424890602009" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/8035673424890602009?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/8035673424890602009?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/eX3YvRYY_JE/top-ten-signs-you-wont-win-american.html" title="Top Ten Signs You Won't Win &quot;American Idol&quot;" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2010/12/top-ten-signs-you-wont-win-american.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CEAMQHozcCp7ImA9Wx9RGU4.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-6446898535969378008</id><published>2010-12-21T03:55:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2010-12-21T03:59:41.488-08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2010-12-21T03:59:41.488-08:00</app:edited><title>Clever Daughter</title><content type="html">&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;A person's daughter took admission in a college and was to live in a co-ed dormitory. The person was very worried and warned her daughter that she would die if she ever found out that her daughter had male visitors in her room.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;One Friday night, the person kept on calling her daughter's dormitory. She was not there. The person got worried. Finally at 1 o'clock she got hold of her daughter and asked angrily, 'Where were you?'&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;'Mom, I was visiting a boy's room, so that his mother dies and not you.'&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-6446898535969378008?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/JvZglgPXHN17JYp5dOVG_-ahhhI/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/JvZglgPXHN17JYp5dOVG_-ahhhI/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/JvZglgPXHN17JYp5dOVG_-ahhhI/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/JvZglgPXHN17JYp5dOVG_-ahhhI/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/GYdsGlZL5-Q" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/6446898535969378008/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=6446898535969378008" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/6446898535969378008?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/6446898535969378008?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/GYdsGlZL5-Q/clever-daughter.html" title="Clever Daughter" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2010/12/clever-daughter.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;C0QFRH0_eCp7ImA9Wx9RGU4.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-8153286606943267627</id><published>2010-12-21T03:35:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2010-12-21T03:35:15.340-08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2010-12-21T03:35:15.340-08:00</app:edited><title>Dream Girl</title><content type="html">&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt;A young man finds his dream girl and asks her to &lt;/span&gt;&lt;a class="kLink" href="http://www.sirfdosti.com/showFunResource.asp?Id=144&amp;amp;typeId=3&amp;amp;catId=12#" id="KonaLink0" style="color: black; position: static; text-decoration: underline ! important;" target="undefined"&gt;&lt;span style="color: orange ! important; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10.6667px; font-weight: 400; position: static;"&gt;&lt;span class="kLink" style="font-family: verdana; font-size: 10.6667px; font-weight: 400; position: relative;"&gt;marry&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt; him. He tells his mother he wants her to meet his &lt;/span&gt;&lt;a class="kLink" href="http://www.sirfdosti.com/showFunResource.asp?Id=144&amp;amp;typeId=3&amp;amp;catId=12#" id="KonaLink1" style="color: black; position: static; text-decoration: underline ! important;" target="undefined"&gt;&lt;span style="color: orange ! important; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10.6667px; font-weight: 400; position: static;"&gt;&lt;span class="kLink" style="font-family: verdana; font-size: 10.6667px; font-weight: 400; position: relative;"&gt;fiance&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt;,  but he wants to make a bit of a game out of it. He says he'll bring the girl over with two other women and see if his  mother can guess which is the one he wants to marry. His &lt;/span&gt;&lt;a class="kLink" href="http://www.sirfdosti.com/showFunResource.asp?Id=144&amp;amp;typeId=3&amp;amp;catId=12#" id="KonaLink2" style="color: black; position: static; text-decoration: underline ! important;" target="undefined"&gt;&lt;span style="color: orange ! important; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10.6667px; font-weight: 400; position: static;"&gt;&lt;span class="kLink" style="font-family: verdana; font-size: 10.6667px; font-weight: 400; position: relative;"&gt;mother&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt; agrees to the game. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;br style="color: black;" /&gt;&lt;br style="color: black;" /&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt; That night, he shows up at his mother's house with three beautiful young ladies. They all sit down on the couch,  and everyone has a wonderful evening talking and getting to know each other. At the end of the evening, the young man asks his mother, 'OK, Mom, which one is the woman I want to marry?' &lt;/span&gt;&lt;br style="color: black;" /&gt;&lt;br style="color: black;" /&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt; Without any hesitation at all, his mother replies, 'The one in the middle.'&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br style="color: black;" /&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt; The young man is astounded. 'How in the world did you figure it out?'&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br style="color: black;" /&gt;&lt;span style="color: black;"&gt; 'Easy,' she says. 'I don't like her.'&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-8153286606943267627?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/D53ugHLUsm-aEfWFjOxGfEgEsYM/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/D53ugHLUsm-aEfWFjOxGfEgEsYM/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/D53ugHLUsm-aEfWFjOxGfEgEsYM/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/D53ugHLUsm-aEfWFjOxGfEgEsYM/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/1f9_BknSN14" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/8153286606943267627/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=8153286606943267627" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/8153286606943267627?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/8153286606943267627?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/1f9_BknSN14/dream-girl.html" title="Dream Girl" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2010/12/dream-girl.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CEQCQHc-cCp7ImA9Wx9RGU4.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-660068803286460791</id><published>2010-12-21T03:22:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2010-12-21T03:52:41.958-08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2010-12-21T03:52:41.958-08:00</app:edited><title>What is Tragedy?</title><content type="html">&lt;div style="color: black;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;One day George Bush is going to give a speech at an Elementary School.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
He asks the teacher what the children are studying and&amp;nbsp; she replies that they are learning about Greek Tragedies.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
So the President decides to talk about Tragedies. He asks a student, "What would you consider to be a tragedy?"&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The kid thinks for awhile and then says, " If a boy is running after&amp;nbsp; a ball into a street and gets run over by a car and dies."&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Bush responds, "No, I don't think that's a tragedy... that's an accident."&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Then Bush asks another kid to give an example of a tragedy.&lt;br /&gt;
The kid says, "If a bus full of kids drives over a cliff and they all die."&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
This time Bush says, "I don't think that's a tragedy... I think that's a great loss." So again Bush asks another kid to give an example of a tragedy.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
The kid responds, "If you and Dick Chenney are on Air Force One and it crashes."&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
"Right!" says Bush to the kid. "That would be a tragedy... how did you ever know that?"&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Quickly, the kid replies, " Because I know it's not an&amp;nbsp; accident and I know it's not a great loss."&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-660068803286460791?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/B_ZCvTKx5t1iTr9K4tvXwHNAf18/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/B_ZCvTKx5t1iTr9K4tvXwHNAf18/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/B_ZCvTKx5t1iTr9K4tvXwHNAf18/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/B_ZCvTKx5t1iTr9K4tvXwHNAf18/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/Oc6l0qHy34I" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/660068803286460791/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=660068803286460791" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/660068803286460791?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/660068803286460791?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/Oc6l0qHy34I/what-is-tragedy.html" title="What is Tragedy?" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2010/12/what-is-tragedy.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;A04BQn8zeyp7ImA9Wx9RGU8.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-1255855191941455340</id><published>2010-12-21T03:11:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2010-12-21T03:12:33.183-08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2010-12-21T03:12:33.183-08:00</app:edited><title>To Make All Happy</title><content type="html">&lt;div style="font-family: &amp;quot;Helvetica Neue&amp;quot;,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;    &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="font-family: &amp;quot;Helvetica Neue&amp;quot;,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $10,000  bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy".&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, "Of course,&amp;nbsp; then, I could throw one-hundred $100 bills out the window and make hundred people very happy."&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy."&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-1255855191941455340?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/fal-nSk1brjGowPJrU-V11A7V_g/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/fal-nSk1brjGowPJrU-V11A7V_g/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/fal-nSk1brjGowPJrU-V11A7V_g/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/fal-nSk1brjGowPJrU-V11A7V_g/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/gasIwfItv3M" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/1255855191941455340/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=1255855191941455340" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/1255855191941455340?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/1255855191941455340?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/gasIwfItv3M/to-make-all-happy.html" title="To Make All Happy" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2010/12/to-make-all-happy.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;DEYAQHk7fyp7ImA9Wx9TF04.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-8988373459768960749</id><published>2010-11-25T17:35:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2010-11-25T17:49:01.707-08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2010-11-25T17:49:01.707-08:00</app:edited><title>Sardar Jokes Page 16</title><content type="html">&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue; font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;A Sardar and lottery ticket&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt; &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"&gt;A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"&gt;He goes to Delhi to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"&gt;The Sardar says, "I want my 20 lakhs.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"&gt;The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you one lakh today and then you'll get the rest spread &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"&gt;out for the next 19 weeks."&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"&gt;The Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"&gt;Again, the man explained that he would only get a lakh that day and the rest during the next 19 weeks.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"&gt;The Sardar, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my 20 lakhs right now, then I want my five rupees back!"&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal" style="color: blue;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue; font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;A Sardar lost in desert&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"&gt;A Sardar, a Japanese, and a Britisher were lost in the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey. The Japanese took the radiator, the Britisher took the seat, and the sardar took the door.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"&gt;After a while of walking the Britisher asked the Japanese, "I'm confused, why did you bring the Radiator?"&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"&gt;The Japanese responded, "If I get thirsty, I can drink the fluid."&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"&gt;Next the sardar asked the Britisher, "Why did you bring the seat?"&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"&gt;So the Britisher said, "If I get tired, I am not going to sit on the sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat."&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"&gt;Finally the Japanese asked the Sardar why he had chosen the door. The sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well, when I shall feel the need to get some breeze in this summer all I have to do is roll down the window."&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2009/05/one-day-sardarji-went-to-take-art-class.html"&gt;Page 15&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-8988373459768960749?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/9qutxOPiBmgG2KBSzLG_q8hARCg/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/9qutxOPiBmgG2KBSzLG_q8hARCg/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/9qutxOPiBmgG2KBSzLG_q8hARCg/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/9qutxOPiBmgG2KBSzLG_q8hARCg/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/h1CsrRv8r4w" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/8988373459768960749/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=8988373459768960749" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/8988373459768960749?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/8988373459768960749?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/h1CsrRv8r4w/sardar-jokes-page-16.html" title="Sardar Jokes Page 16" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2010/11/sardar-jokes-page-16.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CEEMRXY4eyp7ImA9WxFVE08.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-937816523653024100</id><published>2010-06-11T23:04:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2010-06-11T23:04:44.833-07:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2010-06-11T23:04:44.833-07:00</app:edited><title>Laloo Yadar's car  kills piglet !!</title><content type="html">&lt;b&gt;Laloo Yadav's car was travelling along a village road on the way to Patna, when all of a sudden a piglet jumps out in front of his car.The piglet dies on the spot. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Laloo, upset, tells the driver to go find the owner of the piglet so that he can pay the damages. The driver goes to the nearby village and comes back after an hour with two bags full of money. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Laloo wants to know what happened. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The driver tells him "Maine jab gaon pahuncha to dekha ki kuchh log ped ke niche baithe hain. Jub main unko bataya ki kya hua, tab sare log hamra aas paas jama ho gaye. Humko laga ki aaj to hamari pitayee hogee. Par maine dekha ki saare log paisa jama kar rahe hain. Hum socha ki yeh sara paisa wo jaanvar ke malik ke liye hai. Par un logo ne saara paisa hamein de diya, aur kaha 'bahut achchha kaam kiya hai re bhaiya, bahut achchha.'" &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Laloo says, "Sasoor ka nati, theek theek bata mujhko, tu unko kya bola tha?" &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The driver replies "Maine kaha ki main Laloo Yadav ka driver hoon aur maine soowar-ka bachcha ko maar dala hoon!".&lt;/b&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-937816523653024100?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/53P7fR5CCNtVhSAwarZhy3eT7to/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/53P7fR5CCNtVhSAwarZhy3eT7to/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/53P7fR5CCNtVhSAwarZhy3eT7to/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/53P7fR5CCNtVhSAwarZhy3eT7to/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/RdwtdY-DY10" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/937816523653024100/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=937816523653024100" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/937816523653024100?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/937816523653024100?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/RdwtdY-DY10/laloo-yadars-car-kills-piglet.html" title="Laloo Yadar's car  kills piglet !!" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2010/06/laloo-yadars-car-kills-piglet.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CEUHSXc8fSp7ImA9WxFVE08.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-4020047849190680304</id><published>2010-06-11T22:50:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2010-06-11T22:57:18.975-07:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2010-06-11T22:57:18.975-07:00</app:edited><title>Team India needs Players...</title><content type="html">Team India needs players. Do you really want to apply.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Vacancies are as follows&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;1) Captain (P-001),&lt;br /&gt;
2) Vice Captain (P-002),&lt;br /&gt;
3) Coach (P-003) and&lt;br /&gt;
4) Team Members (P-004)&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;Eligibility Criteria&lt;/b&gt; : We are looking for Audience who have consistently watched all the world cup matches and who have scored over 65 runs in Room Cricket &amp;amp; Street Cricket.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Experience in Football, Volley ball is an added advantage ….&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;i&gt;Models, Actors (Advertisements) are most preferable…..&lt;/i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
LKG &amp;amp; UKG Teachers are preferable for the post of coach.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;Selection Process&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1. Batting Test (Vs Bermuda) (Candidate must score at least 50 runs )&lt;br /&gt;
2. Bowling/Fielding Test (Candidate should not bowl more than 3 wides /no balls in an Over)&lt;br /&gt;
3. HR Interview (Candidates will be called upon for the selection process based on the Eligibility Criteria)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Send ur resumes with subject Name/Post/Max runs scored E.g. Dhoni/P-004/37 to &lt;a href="mailto:callforcric@bcci.com"&gt;cricketcalls@bcci.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;Venue&lt;/b&gt; : Pappu Engineering College Grounds , Teepunagar&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp; Jhakra Park , Khelgaon&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;Date &lt;/b&gt;: 01-Aug-2010&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="color: red;"&gt;Reference Books:&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="color: red;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1) “Aap bhi Batsman ban sakte hein!” by Munaf Patel&lt;br /&gt;
2) “Cricket in 21 days “ by Navjot Singh Buddhu&lt;br /&gt;
3) “From Losing a match to Murdering a coach“ by Inzamam&lt;br /&gt;
5) "The complete cricket manual" by Mandira &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-4020047849190680304?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/dZKLNWO_PyRVEibG_vpjw19EN64/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/dZKLNWO_PyRVEibG_vpjw19EN64/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/dZKLNWO_PyRVEibG_vpjw19EN64/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/dZKLNWO_PyRVEibG_vpjw19EN64/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/OqLa7ME2Oqw" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/4020047849190680304/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=4020047849190680304" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/4020047849190680304?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/4020047849190680304?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/OqLa7ME2Oqw/team-india-needs-players.html" title="Team India needs Players..." /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2010/06/team-india-needs-players.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;AkMAQnc5eyp7ImA9WxFVEU4.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-1406279821231819335</id><published>2010-06-09T19:53:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2010-06-09T19:54:03.923-07:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2010-06-09T19:54:03.923-07:00</app:edited><title>Santa saved his marriage</title><content type="html">&lt;div style="background-color: white;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: medium;"&gt; &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt; &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="background-color: white;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia;"&gt;After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments,&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Banta Singh and his wife Preeto decided the only way to save their&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each others throats for some&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
time and felt that this was their last straw.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
in and opened the floor for discussion.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
"What seems to be the problem?"&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Immediately, Banta held his long face down without anything to say. On&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
the other hand, Preeto began talking 90 miles an hour describing all&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
the wrongs within their marriage.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
After 10 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
minutes, and sat her back down.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Afterwards, Preeto sat there - speechless. He looked over at Banta who&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
was staring in disbelief at what had happened.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The counselor spoke to Banta, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
week!"&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Banta scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on wednesdays and saturdays.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-1406279821231819335?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/0FsQsnss4p1uzrZi-JJ6M4sVspE/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/0FsQsnss4p1uzrZi-JJ6M4sVspE/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/0FsQsnss4p1uzrZi-JJ6M4sVspE/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/0FsQsnss4p1uzrZi-JJ6M4sVspE/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/-yBMTOZoNgg" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/1406279821231819335/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=1406279821231819335" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/1406279821231819335?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/1406279821231819335?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/-yBMTOZoNgg/santa-saved-his-marriage.html" title="Santa saved his marriage" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2010/06/santa-saved-his-marriage.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;D0QAQHg6eyp7ImA9WxBSFUg.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-6553833647771136478</id><published>2009-12-22T23:46:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2009-12-23T00:02:21.613-08:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2009-12-23T00:02:21.613-08:00</app:edited><title>Santa from Colombo...(Very funny)</title><content type="html">&lt;div style="font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;Santa singh went to Colombo for official matter and called to his house over phone. Servant had taken the receiver.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;Santa&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt; singh : Who is speaking?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;Servant : Servant Sir.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;Santa&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt; singh : Where is the Madam?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;Servant: She is sleeping with her husband in bedroom.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;Santa&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt; singh : What? I am her husband came to Colombo today.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;Servant: What can I do now sir?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;Santa &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;singh : Open the cupboard, pick the Gun, shoot both of them, come back and tell me, till then I am waiting in the line.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;After some time ... there come 2 shooting sounds ... after that ...&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;Servant: Yes, I did Sir. But what can I do next Sir?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;Santa&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt; singh : Open the back door, throw both of them into the swimming pool&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;Servant: There is no swimming pool in our house Sir&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;Santa&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt; singh : What...? No swimming pool?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;Servant: Yes Sir&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt;Santa&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="color: blue;"&gt; singh : Sorry, WRONG NUMBER!!!!!! !!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div style="text-align: center;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="background-color: #ffe599; color: blue;"&gt;&lt;a href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2009/09/sardar-writing-medical-examination.html"&gt;Jokes The Great : The Laughing Zone (Click Here)&lt;/a&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br style="color: blue;" /&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-6553833647771136478?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/b06KiIQGjnMWxa3DemQrsYEaV5g/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/b06KiIQGjnMWxa3DemQrsYEaV5g/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/b06KiIQGjnMWxa3DemQrsYEaV5g/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/b06KiIQGjnMWxa3DemQrsYEaV5g/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/UUVILn3etSM" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/6553833647771136478/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=6553833647771136478" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/6553833647771136478?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/6553833647771136478?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/UUVILn3etSM/santa-from-colombovery-funny.html" title="Santa from Colombo...(Very funny)" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2009/12/santa-from-colombovery-funny.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CU8AQXk8fCp7ImA9WxNVE08.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-2538086598742043939</id><published>2009-10-23T11:50:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2009-10-23T11:50:40.774-07:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2009-10-23T11:50:40.774-07:00</app:edited><title>IT Gabbar</title><content type="html">&lt;div style="line-height: 12.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"&gt;Gabbar sends Kaalia and his other two colleagues to Ramgad for collecting the 'loot-maar' software which he had ordered. They reach Ramgad and start shouting:&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="line-height: 12.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"&gt; 'Abe O Thakur! Baahar nikal!! Kahan hai woh loot-maar software, jo hamne order kiya tha?'&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="line-height: 12.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"&gt;Dhaniya, an old man comes out with a floppy in his hand.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="line-height: 12.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"&gt;Kaalia-'kya laye ho Dhaniya?'&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="line-height: 12.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"&gt; Dhaniya-' Financial Accounting software hai sarkar.'&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="line-height: 12.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"&gt;Kaalia-'Suwar ke bacche! Yeh bekar software hamare liye banaya? Aur woh loot-maar softeare kya apni beti kebaratiyon ke liye zip file mein chuppa ke rakha hai? Haraam-z@$#!!'&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="line-height: 12.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"&gt;Thakur comes out of his house with anger, saying:&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="line-height: 12.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"&gt; ' Chillao mat Kaalia!! Jaakar gabbar se kah do ki Thakur Software waalon ne paagal kutton ke liye software banana bund kar diya hai'&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="line-height: 12.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"&gt;Kaalia-'Bahut garmi dikha rahe ho thakur? Koi naye programmers hire kiye hain kya??'&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="line-height: 12.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"&gt; Thakur-'Nazar utha ke dekh, Kaalia, tere sar par powerbuilder chal raha hai'.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="line-height: 12.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"&gt; Kaalia lifts his head. He sees Viru(Dharmendra) working on a PC on one water tank and Jay(Amitabh) on another water tank, punching the keys of a laptop.&lt;br /&gt;
Kaalia starts laughing and says:&lt;br /&gt;
'Haa Haa... Ye log programming karenge thakur? Haa Haa... in ko to DOS commands bhi nahi aate. Suno Ranmgad ke vasiyon, Thakur ne hijdon'ki software company banayi hai'&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="line-height: 12.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"&gt; Veeru shouts:'Chup-chap chala ja kaalia. Hum log consultants hain, kuch bhi kar sakte hain'&lt;br /&gt;
Jay hits some commands on his keyboard. Then says:'Jao kaalia, gabbar se kehna ki uska server down ho &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;st1:city w:st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:place w:st="on"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"&gt;gaya&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt;&lt;/st1:city&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"&gt;'&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="line-height: 12.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"&gt; Kaalia-'Jaata hoon thakur. Agar gabbar ko pata chala ki thakur software walon ne uska loot-maar software nahi banaya, to wo poore network mein virus daal dega'&lt;br /&gt;
At the Gabbar's den...&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="line-height: 12.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"&gt; Gabbar:'Kittne bugs thay?'&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="line-height: 12.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"&gt; Kaalia:'Do Sarkar'&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="line-height: 12.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"&gt; Gabbar:'Woh do! Aur tum teen. Phir bhi fix nahin kar sake? Kya soch kay aaye ho? Gabbar bahut khus hoga? Naya assignment dega, kyoon?&lt;br /&gt;
Iski saja milegi.. Barobbar milegi'&lt;br /&gt;
{Snatches an X terminal form Sambaa}&lt;br /&gt;
'Kitne sessions hain is machine main??'&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span class="apple-converted-space"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="line-height: 12.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"&gt; Sambaa:'Chey, sarkar.'&lt;br /&gt;
Gabbar:' Session chey aur programmer teen. Bahoot naa-insafi hai&lt;br /&gt;
[logout....logout...logout]&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 7.5pt;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4474302871040288391-2538086598742043939?l=jokesthegreat.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/xtAKaQMckrpQzcDtLpHzsGw23Hk/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/xtAKaQMckrpQzcDtLpHzsGw23Hk/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/xtAKaQMckrpQzcDtLpHzsGw23Hk/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/xtAKaQMckrpQzcDtLpHzsGw23Hk/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~4/BzVSU-muz90" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/feeds/2538086598742043939/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4474302871040288391&amp;postID=2538086598742043939" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/2538086598742043939?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4474302871040288391/posts/default/2538086598742043939?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JokesTheGreatTheLaughingZone/~3/BzVSU-muz90/it-gabbar.html" title="IT Gabbar" /><author><name>Satyanveshi</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="16" height="16" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" /></author><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://jokesthegreat.blogspot.com/2009/10/it-gabbar.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CUMNQX8ycSp7ImA9WxNVE08.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4474302871040288391.post-6968231745137506575</id><published>2009-10-23T11:43:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2009-10-23T11:44:50.199-07:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2009-10-23T11:44:50.199-07:00</app:edited><title>Santa's Medical Exam</title><content type="html">&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 8.5pt;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/b&gt;Santa Singh applied to a medical college&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 8.5pt;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 8.5pt;"&gt;-&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: 11px;"&gt;Just see what answers are given by our dear Santa Singh :-&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: 11px;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 8.5pt;"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 8.5pt;"&gt;Antibody - against everyone&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 8.5pt;"&gt;Artery - the study of fine paintings&lt;br /&gt;
Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Bowel - letters like aeiou&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Cardiology - advanced study of Poker playing&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Cat Scan - searching for lost kitty&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Coma - punctuation mark&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Cortisone - area around local court&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Cyst - short for sister&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Dislocation - in this place&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Duodenum - couple in blue jeans&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Enema - not a friend&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;False Labor - pretending to work&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Genes - blue denim&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Hymen - greeting to several males&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Impotent - well-known&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Obesity - City of Obe&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Pacemaker - winner of Nobel Peace Prize&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Protein - in favor of teens&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Pus - small cat&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Secretion - hiding anything&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Subcutaneous - not cute enough&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Tablet - small table&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Urine - opposite of you're out&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px;"&gt;Varicose - very close&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: 11px;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;"&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
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