tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61808262020-03-23T06:24:04.236-04:00Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.comBlogger2972125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-58368191046250464072020-03-23T05:04:00.002-04:002020-03-23T05:04:33.156-04:00

Dearest Oh Faithful Readers:     It is with a heavy heart that I write you one final time with Jokes By Jim. Only today it isn’t very funny. Which may have been true for some other posts but I will just skip over that for now.      After 17 years of cranking out as many jokes as I could possibly fit in every day, I am giving up on the effort. There are a number of reasons. First and foremost

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-36748174899412735132020-03-20T09:37:00.000-04:002020-03-20T09:37:19.115-04:00

The Census has suspended field operations because of coronavirus. Mostly because workers were writing down residents 70 or older in coronavirus infected areas as soon to be deceased. Iran’s Supreme Leader will pardon 10,000 inmates, including political prisoners. Which in Iran means pretty much 10,000 political prisoners. Iran’s Supreme Leader will pardon 10,000 inmates, including political

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-55231682685574333422020-03-19T09:02:00.003-04:002020-03-19T09:02:53.990-04:00

China has banished U.S. journalists from the New York Times, Washington Post and Wall Street Journal. To which Donald Trump says “Why can’t I ever do that?” Boeing is calling for a $60 Billion lifeline for the aerospace industry. At this point the plane building business is going down faster than a 737 Max. Steve Mnuchin warned the Senate that inaction could lead to 20% unemployment. The

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-650574097875539012020-03-18T09:06:00.002-04:002020-03-18T09:06:52.575-04:00

Cash handouts are gaining support from Congress as the best coronavirus fix. Mostly because who knows better about getting and giving cash handouts than Congress? 11 states are banning restaurant dining. Meaning millions of Millennials may survive the coronavirus but could end up dying from starvation. Canada has closed its borders to non-citizens. To which Donald Trump is asking why we are

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-40116275009093752322020-03-17T09:21:00.002-04:002020-03-17T09:21:40.185-04:00

Donald Trump reportedly tested negative for coronavirus. However, the bad news for him is that he also tested negatively against Joe Biden. Donald Trump reportedly tested negative for coronavirus. Unfortunately, he has also tested negative for telling the truth since he has been in office. Donald Trump reportedly tested negative for coronavirus. Which would have been exactly the same

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-55925955939481864122020-03-16T09:44:00.002-04:002020-03-16T09:44:48.420-04:00

Mt. Everest has been closed over fears of coronavirus. That is just one sign they are letting too many people summit these days. Mt. Everest has been closed over fears of coronavirus. The question being how does anyone even go about closing a mountain in the first place? Mt. Everest has been closed over fears of coronavirus. Which has caused Nepal to issue emergency funds to support all the

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-19487864118599125452020-03-13T09:25:00.001-04:002020-03-13T09:25:39.040-04:00

The WHO has declared the coronavirus a global pandemic. The problem with it originating in China, most people are confusing it with another episode of pandamania. The EU has slammed Donald Trump’s “unilateral” decision to ban most travel from Europe. Which has been very upsetting to the three people still willing to actually get on a plane. Markets continue to drop as Donald Trump imposes

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-72133771951513207012020-03-12T09:01:00.000-04:002020-03-12T09:01:03.745-04:00

The DNC says there will be no live audience at the Sunday presidential debate. With their remaining candidates 77 and 78 years old, they’re lucky to have anyone still alive on stage. The British health minister has tested positive for coronavirus. Now there is someone who really believes in taking their work home with them. A man crashed his car into a St. Louis polling station. That is

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-35411445585733767642020-03-11T09:08:00.000-04:002020-03-11T09:08:12.503-04:00

Mike Pence says he doesn’t know if Donald Trump has taken a coronavirus test. Which is probably a no, considering he wouldn’t even sit down to take a simple IQ test. Congress is debating ways to help the economy hit by the coronavirus. For starters, the government could make billions taking over selling toilet paper, face masks and hand sanitizer. A harsh new United Airlines policy over

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-84086936657639807322020-03-10T09:03:00.002-04:002020-03-10T09:03:50.176-04:00

A study says Democrats are twice as likely as Republicans to sound the alarm over coronavirus. Pretty much the same on other disasters like global warming, healthcare and Donald Trump. A report says an era of social distancing is beginning with coronavirus. Mostly because people don’t need to go out into crowds to find companionship ever since the start of Tinder. A report says an era of

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-54155202991438413102020-03-09T09:08:00.003-04:002020-03-09T09:08:53.918-04:00

The White House is working to protect Donald Trump and his staff from the coronavirus. It turns out that orange spray-on tan he wears is actually a high-powered defoliant. The White House is working to protect Donald Trump and his staff from the coronavirus. The most important precaution is pouring Purell all over every Big Mac he orders. The White House is working to protect Donald Trump

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-54287444757121188772020-03-06T09:01:00.002-05:002020-03-06T09:01:45.812-05:00

A poll says half of American travelers are reconsidering international trips because of coronavirus. The other half are reconsidering because flying there on United Airlines is ten times worse than the risk of getting sick. A report says coronavirus could deal a big blow to malls. In fact, some shopping malls are reporting their number of daily customers has dropped from 30 down to 10. A

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-90321837813716376642020-03-05T08:51:00.000-05:002020-03-05T08:51:26.021-05:00

Michael Bloomberg spent $500 Million on Super Tuesday and won American Samoa. For $500 Million he could have bought American Samoa. Michael Bloomberg spent $500 Million on Super Tuesday and won American Samoa. He would have been better off staying at home and just eating a few boxes of Girl Scout Samoa cookies. The WHO says the coronavirus death rate is 3.4% globally which is higher than

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-57443234570055167952020-03-04T09:01:00.000-05:002020-03-04T09:05:14.963-05:00

Donald Trump says it is safe to hold his rallies during the coronavirus outbreak. Although he says the best way to be protected from the virus is by wearing a red hat. Donald Trump says they will put Joe Biden in “a home” if he is elected. That’s the whole point. It’s called the White House. As the coronavirus spreads, employers are gearing up for a massive work-from-home experiment. Mostly

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-17158470676638259192020-03-03T09:38:00.000-05:002020-03-03T09:38:37.669-05:00

Donald Trump is telling people to not panic over the coronavirus. If we haven’t panicked yet after three years of Donald Trump in the White House, a little virus isn’t going to change that. Donald Trump is telling people to not panic over the coronavirus. Which means he violated the number one rule of never tell the American public to not panic. Pete Buttigieg has ended his presidential

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-38034050045152428722020-03-02T09:00:00.001-05:002020-03-02T09:00:31.701-05:00

The White House has gagged government health experts from talking about the coronavirus, requiring Mike Pence’s approval. Pretty soon they will have them wearing their face masks inside their mouths. The White House has gagged government health experts from talking about the coronavirus, requiring Mike Pence’s approval. Meaning next they will replace their face masks with duct tape. The AP

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-19828202382126748182020-02-28T08:45:00.000-05:002020-02-28T08:45:26.517-05:00

Donald Trump is reportedly furious over fears of the coronavirus dropping the stock market. His idea is not to tell anyone the disease is coming, keep the market up and let them die rich. A group chaired by Vladimir Putin has set a date for a constitutional amendment vote. The bad news for Americans is that it will be with the U.S. Constitution. Scientists are warning AI superintelligence is

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-63773995990341526532020-02-27T08:49:00.000-05:002020-02-27T08:49:39.773-05:00

In the most recent Democratic debate, Joe Biden says Bernie Sanders hasn’t passed much of anything in the Senate. To which Sanders says just last week he passed a kidney stone. In the most recent Democratic debate, Joe Biden says Bernie Sanders hasn’t passed much of anything in the Senate. To which Sanders says one thing he has passed is Joe Biden. The White House is struggling to contain

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-89229340241509454872020-02-26T08:55:00.000-05:002020-02-26T08:55:32.259-05:00

A report says Iran’s elections are set to be dominated by hardliners. What in Iran isn’t dominated by hardliners? Feds are seeking a 21 month prison sentence for the heiress to the Hot Pockets fortune in the college admissions scandal. It looks like even deep pockets can’t bail out Hot Pockets. The Dow Jones dropped 1,000 points on Monday which is blamed on the coronavirus. In stock market

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-33522168141200920972020-02-25T09:07:00.000-05:002020-02-25T09:08:50.378-05:00

Donald Trump visited India in front of a crowd estimated at 100,000. It was interesting to see all his supporters there showing up with their red MAGA bindis on their foreheads. Donald Trump visited India in front of a crowd estimated at 100,000. Although in a country of 1.3 Billion people, a group of 100,000 is pretty much called “passersby.” Pete Buttigieg alleges there were “

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-42439194046037850662020-02-24T09:18:00.000-05:002020-02-24T09:18:24.090-05:00

Donald Trump is calling for Social Security cuts in his fourth year. With unemployment down so far he sees no reason seniors can’t get out and work a few more years. Bernie Sanders on Michael Bloomberg’s debate performance says Donald Trump would chew him up and spit him out. Bernie would almost do the same but instead put him in a blender and drink him with a straw. Satisfaction with the

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-14762708593171062342020-02-21T09:02:00.000-05:002020-02-21T09:02:00.053-05:00

Questions linger after Bernie Sanders’ heart attack about his health. If he takes on Donald Trump in the general election, his answer will be “Trade you my health records for your taxes.” The Trump Administration is backing Oracle over Google in a Supreme Court battle. Showing that Larry Ellison fundraiser he hosted for Donald Trump is paying off already. A survey says 77% of Americans trust

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-27543625501589273002020-02-20T08:50:00.000-05:002020-02-20T08:50:47.283-05:00

Bernie Sanders has a double digit lead over his Democratic rivals. Which was great news for his campaign until they found out that was when comparing everyone’s age. A report says China feels the world has “closed its doors” because of the coronavirus. It’s almost like they feel some huge wall has been built around their country. Chinese citizens have been banned from entering Russia. The

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-51761426752710440282020-02-19T09:04:00.002-05:002020-02-19T09:04:35.454-05:00

Nancy Pelosi says Democrats “must be unified” to beat Donald Trump. The only problem is they are talking about taking on the person who is the ultimate divider. A fight broke out at a Bernie Sanders rally in Colorado. Apparently someone tried to park in the Handicapped spot reserved for Sanders’ campaign bus. Democratic campaigns are warning of chaos ahead of the Nevada caucuses. Mostly

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6180826.post-82898381821697050842020-02-18T09:17:00.000-05:002020-02-18T09:17:23.139-05:00

More than 1,100 ex-Justice Department officials are calling for William Barr to resign. Which is good because if they weren’t ex-officials, Donald Trump would make sure they are tomorrow. Michael Bloomberg is said to be considering Hillary Clinton as his running mate. Although that idea sure didn’t get Tim Kaine anywhere in 2016. The coronavirus lockdown restrictions have affected 760

Jim Barachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03381896300676162804noreply@blogger.com0