Jon and Kate Prayers

He Said, She Said...But What Does God Say?

2009-10-05T01:46:00.002-04:00

The media continues to showcase the implosion of Jon and Kate Gosselin's marriage. Sadly, many continue to take what the media spoon feeds them, accept it as gospel and truth, and react likely in support or judgment of Jon or Kate.

How fickle we can be. Poor Jon, mean Kate. Poor Kate, mean Jon. Poor both. Mean both. Enough already!

God knew when He designed us with emotions that we would be capable of such wonderful fellowship and love. He also knew that we would act like selfish idiots.

For each of us, divorce or separation has either touched us directly or indirectly. It's impossible to escape these tentacles in a society unwilling to suffer through the bad times because we don't wish to be unconvenienced. Let's face it, a relationship is going to face tough times and challenges. How we handle (or don't handle) those challenges says a great deal about our maturity and priorities.

Recently, Jon Gosselin appeared to be seeking maturity and taking responsibility of his family. In Touch Weekly released the following statement:

When Jon Gosselin heard that his estranged wife, Kate, had a breakdown during the taping of a TV pilot in September, he knew he was responsible for her suffering. In addition to flaunting his relationship with his new girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, and partying at clubs all over the country surrounded by scantily clad women, Jon went on ABC's Primetime recently and said he "despised" the mother of his eight children. "He woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and didn't like the reflection," Jon's attorney, Mark Jay Heller, tells In Touch. "He realized he'd made some bad choices." Jon and Kate were due to be officially divorced by the end of November -- but now he claims he's had a serious change of heart. "I regret my conduct since Kate and I separated [on June 22]," Jon tells In Touch exclusively. "I used poor judgment in publicly socializing with other women so soon."

Shockingly, today, Jon submitted a document to a Pennsylvania court-approved arbitrator, which he hopes will suspend his split with Kate for 90 days. He explains, "This will enable Kate and me to restore our relationship as cooperative parents and to open up our lines of communication. I hope that she will be as receptive and enthusiastic as I am to do what is best for our family." He also pleaded with her to set aside their anger so they can start interacting amicably. "I would like to get back with Kate as a partner in parenting," Jon tells In Touch. "Even though we were heading for a divorce, it appeared that Kate had been suffering from this divorce as much as I had. That's why I asked my attorney to put the brakes on this divorce so I could try to regain control over the future of our family. So Kate and I could join on a cooperative course that would benefit our family -- not destroy it."

Jon claims he's done sowing his wild oats and grown disenchanted with his playboy lifestyle. Jon believes that his womanizing was a result of being dumped by Kate, who told him it was over in October 2008 before filing for divorce. "When Kate broke up with me, I begged her to go with me to counseling," he says. "She was totally against it. I think I was reacting to the pain I have been suffering as a result of Kate's rejection of me." Heller insists that Jon wants the document to be a sort of peace treaty: "He is hoping to inspire his wife to become less rigid, inflexible and controlling and open up. We're hoping Jon and Kate can sit down together and start exploring what to do about their situation. Once they do that, the rest will fall into place."

If you've followed the Gosselin's story, it has truly evolved into a he said, she said scenario. Ultimately, it's easy to assert your own opinion here. Is Jon being sincere, and how convenient this happened just as it's announced the show was becoming "Kate Plus 8."

He said, she said, but what does God say?

PORTRAIT OF A MARRIAGE
Many things are uncertain in life but we can be sure of is what the Bible says about a Biblical marriage and how to heal that relationship. GotQuestions.org paints how and why a Biblical marriage works:

God ordained the first marriage in the Garden of Eden between Adam and Eve. When sin entered because of their disobedience, that perfect union was destroyed. Subsequently, God told Eve that Adam would be her "head" to rule over her (Genesis 3:16). (Compare 1 Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 5:22; Titus 2:5; 1 Peter 3:5-6.) This "rule" has been overthrown by the modern liberal women's movement and has brought untold unhappiness to those who believe the "lie." There is also the human viewpoint that "all are equal." In a way, that is true. We all have equal access to salvation in Christ Jesus (Galatians 3:28). But to say that all in the world are equal in human opportunity, abilities or even power is naïve. God had a purpose for placing wives under the authority of their husbands. Because of sin, that rule has been both abused and chaffed under, and the result has brought chaos to the home and family. However, God does not let the husband off the hook. The husband is to "love his wife as he loves his own body" (Ephesians 5:28). In fact, the greater part of the responsibility of the marriage model is given to the husband. The woman is to obey her husband as unto the Lord; however, husbands are to love their wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it" (Ephesians 5:25-29).

What's key: Husbands must obey God and love, honor, and protect his wife as he would his own body (Ephesians 5:25-31). Likewise, wives should obey God and submit to her own husband “as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). The marriage between a man and a woman is a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church. Christ gave Himself for the church and He loves, honors, and protects her as His “bride” (Revelation 19:7-9).

Dwelling on the information above, it's clear why so many marriages fail today. Men disengage and focus on other things instead of their family. Women take on too many responsibilities and fill the voids left by husbands. Both want to do their own thing and chase their own dreams. While men are shirking their responsibilities, women often get mired in the worldly trap that they should not be submissive...as if that's a lowly place to be. Yet, the phrase "as to the Lord" is conveniently overlooked and the Scriptures aren't studied enough to understand the concept.

HEALING A MARRIAGE
For any relationship to work, a commitment is required from both. There must be a commitment to not keep score, to forgive, and to keep moving forward. A relationship mired in past hurts or stagnant in a routine present will not grow and could wither and die.

Healing begins (and ends) with a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. The man and woman each should have their own relationship with Christ, therefore allowing Him to be involved in the marriage. When we drift away from spending time with God via reading the Bible, going to church, and spending time with other Believers, it's like driving out into the desert. Eventually your car will run out of gas and finding fuel is a slim to none chance. Eventually, you will stop seeking His guidance, stop praying, and stop listening to the small voice of the Holy Spirit. You're spiritual tank will run dry. Unlike the car in the desert, all you have to do is "turn around" to find your spiritual source of fuel: Jesus.

Accepting Christ as your Lord and Savior or restoring a relationship and fellowship with Him and embracing His forgiveness (1 John 1:9) is the first step.

Next, you must forgive your spouse and yourself. We are commanded to forgive others. "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32). If you are a Believer, you are forgiven. Therefore, you must forgive as Christ has forgiven you. To withhold forgiveness of another or yourself is your choice but is disobedience toward God, sin in your life, and you will not experience His blessings.

But what if a Christian has an affair? Should reactions be any different?

Unfaithfulness is a very difficult and emotional moment in a couple's life that can shatter trust and even a person's faith. "Turn all your worries over to Him. He cares about you" (1 Peter 5:7) That's a comforting verse, but one has to be willing to forgive. "Forgive people when they sin against you. If you do, your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive people their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14, 15).

But, God, you really don't know what happened to me! How can I forgive that?

He actually does know, completely, what happened. Holding onto anger, bitterness, or hatred will impact attitudes, emotions, and the desire to obey God. Everyday you carry that negativity around, you will be disobeying God and affecting your decisions.

But also, the couple - not just the person who had the affair - must admit to their actions that were wrong and sinful. In a relationship, each person plays a part and they both have to "own" their part - their sin. Don't push it off on lonely nights or being ignored. Also, don't wear faithfulness and being a good spouse as a badge. That's pride and that's sin. Dump the excuses. Own it and then let it go. "But God is faithful and fair. If we admit that we have sinned, He will forgive us our sins. He will forgive every wrong thing we have done. He will make us pure" (1 John 1:9).

Also, sexual unfaithfulness isn't the only means of cheating on your spouse. You can just as easily hurt your relationship with your job, your hobbies, or pornography.

When you're willing to forgive, do you continue living with this person? Remember, "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13). But also, "anyone who divorces his wife and gets married to another woman commits adultery. A man may divorce his wife only if she has not been faithful to him" (Matthew 19:9). God’s preference is forgiveness and reconciliation.

The Bible gives two clear grounds for divorce: (1) sexual immorality (Matthew 5:32; 19:9) and (2) abandonment by an unbeliever (1 Corinthians 7:15). Yet, these are only grounds for divorce not requirements. Confession, forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration are always the first steps. Divorce be the last resort.

Lastly, the area that Jon and Kate seem to be hurting the most: controlling emotions. For the Christian, the Holy Spirit of God is capable of controlling emotions and not allowing them to control us (Romans 8:9-11). If we allow the Holy Spirit to guide us, we can experience love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Otherwise, we give into worldly emotions and they often consume our thoughts, perceptions, reactions, and more. Emotions are a gift from God but they also are a gauge to what's in our hearts (Luke 6:45).

While Jon and Kate have shared their faith on their show previously, little of that fruit seems to exist today. Pray that both Jon and Kate will either accept Jesus Christ as Lord & Savior or renew their individual relationship with Him.

Also pray that they will forgive each other and themselves for their actions and thoughts towards each other.

Pray that they turn over their emotions (anger, fear, lust) to God.

Lastly, pray that their relationship will heal to at a working partnership to be mother and father to their children. Perhaps they can return to a friendship. But only through doing the steps above can they find true healing.

Dump Your Anger, Jon

2009-08-27T01:39:00.001-04:00

Perhaps you recall my last open letter to Jon Gosselin. In that letter, I shared my support for Jon, how I related to his personality, and encouraged him to stand strong while new rumors were emerging and old ones were tired and true. I took some heat for the note and the post before it but expected as much.

After all, why would I or anyone else defend a man who appeared to not defend himself, who acted so passive, and who just kinda drifted through life? Why defend someone who was faking his faith and running a scam? Basically, why defend - and why pray for - a lying loser?

If you haven't asked yourself those questions, you've likely read the exact words or sentiments somewhere in the tabloid content streams.

Or maybe now you feel that way after being unable to ignore the news about his life away from Kate. So, why pray for Jon now? After all, he's had several relationships with different women in two months since filing for divorce. He doesn't seem to care what happens to his future ex-wife and kids. Clearly, he's more interested in himself and is looking out for number one. Sound like anything you've thought?

Fascinating.

The level of passion and emotion that was generally reserved for Kate and her Type-A personality and marriage/parenting skills are now being applied to Jon and his immaturity and sexual escapades.

Fact is, all anyone knows of Jon and this family is what is shown and read about them - some fact, some fiction. Thus, who are we to assume we know them and if we're even getting an accurate representation of the facts?

Jon and Kate both have had solo interviews "setting the record straight" but contradicted the others perspective. Such is divorce seen through the media lens.

So, I thought it was time for an updated open-letter to Jon:

======================================

Jon,

You don't know me and what I know of you is likely less than 1% of your life. It's rather comical how people feel like they "know" someone from reading their books, reading articles and blogs about them, and watching videos of them. However, it's impossible to not relate to someone when "invited into their lives" on a weekly basis.

Not long ago you said, "I hate the way my emotions make me feel." I've always found that statement interesting. God designed us with feelings. So, if you hate that gift, what's the problem? Do you feel your emotions betray you? When you wanted to feel something were you not able to express those emotions?

It's just an unusual statement.

Jon, emotions can be great red-flags to what's going on in one's life: anger, fear, loneliness, and depression can all alert us to trouble. It's good to pay attention to your emotions.

Only you and Kate really know what happened to your marriage and it should be your business - between you and Kate. However, since you've invite people into your lives, everyone feels entitled to offer their opinion and advice. Plus, you each seem to have a different take on what happened. That's to be expected since emotions have washed the clarity of life from your eyes.

You and Kate say each other's goals are different and that you're two different people now. You claim in October 2008 Kate said, "I am done. You are going to live your life, and I am going to live my life." Kate has denied that claim.

He said, she said.

You both have said that you do everything for the children, that the show is for them, the house is for them, money from the show will send them all to college, Kate wears her wedding ring for them...to not upset them. You did everything for the children including claiming to be "in this together" and telling your children that you'll always be a family. "There are no other options."

But what did you do for each other? A couple cannot invest all their time in children, career, church, or whatever...and never invest quality time in growing their relationship.

No one's perfect, Christian or not, married or not, parents or not. It takes two to make a marriage. It takes two to get divorced. It doesn't matter who wanted out first, nor does it matter who tried or didn't try to save the marriage. There's enough blame to share.

James 1:19 says: But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.

Jon, I think you've had a lot of anger build up over the years, and I pray you resolve this anger. It's shredded your marriage and encouraged multiple relationships...what's next?

There are four destructive patterns in a relationship that can produce anger and possibly produce divorce:

Withdrawal. Walking away from an argument without resolving it.
Escalation. Emotions increase to name calling, yelling or anger.
Invalidation. Not allowing someone to feel like his own needs, feeling, or thoughts are valid.
Negative Beliefs. Believing that the other person is intentionally trying to hurt or upset you.

Any of this sound like what you've been through? You and Kate are both angry and you each need to resolve it. But you are responsible for you and your actions. My prayer is that you deal with your anger now for your sake and the sake of your children.

If you're really willing to deal with your anger, how you relate to Kate will improve regardless of whether she addresses her own anger and regardless whether you both ever rebuild your marriage.

Anger has filled your heart and is choking out your relationship with God. It's causing you to make poor decisions. Letting go of this anger and forgiving Kate (and anyone else you're mad at) will give you peace and allow the Holy Spirit back into your life.

Ephesians 4:31–32 says Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Under His Grace & Mercy,
Rick Garner

Emotions Getting The Best Of You?

2009-08-13T08:32:00.000-04:00

We often allow our emotions to "get the best of us." But what does that mean? Get the best of us? Perhaps it's to take our otherwise warm, charming, and rational self (a.k.a. "the best") and slop all that into a blender turned on high-puree.

It doesn't even have to be dramatic. Our emotions can get the best of us in mundane ways.

For instance, you see a certain person at work, in the neighborhood, at church, or where ever. You have this sudden, automatic, uncontrollable reaction to hide, look the other way, or talk to someone else. You try anything to avoid speaking to that person. Your emotions not only have gotten the best of you but you've also handed over control to that person! They're controlling how you respond. Avoiding or coming in contact with them may even determine the rest of your day's pace. Sounds silly, right?

We all have done this.

There's another way our emotions can get the best of us. My wife came across a web story about Jon and some accompanying video from their show. I absorbed all of five seconds and walked away not being able to tolerate the sound of Jon's voice.

There it was: resentment and judgment.

I had allowed my disapproval of Jon's decisions and his seemingly flippant mindset to taint my view of him. That evening, while on my nightly dog walk with the beagle, I asked God's forgiveness of my sin and prayed for Jon, Kate, and the Gosselin family. You see, having this little blog called "Jon and Kate Prayers" doesn't protect me from my own emotions or make me some prayer warrior. So easily we can take our focus off God and the voices of the world begin to bring us down.

Matthew 5:24 says "First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift."

In this chapter, Scriptures address how being angry with someone or holding contempt for them is the same as murder. Did you realize that? Our words and our thoughts can either empower, uplift, and encourage...or destroy and kill. You can go to church, pray, and lead a Christian lifestyle while being angry or resentful towards someone, but Scripture says we should make an effort to reconcile with that person first before trying to worship (come and offer your gift).

Who are you angry with today? Does the thought of someone drain you emotionally and make you sigh? Stop allowing them to control your day and control your life right now! Find a means to either reconcile with them or find a way to empower, uplift, and encourage them. If you've allowed your disappointment or disapproval of someone's actions to taint your view of them, at least turn from that and pray for them and yourself. But, again, if possible show them compassion and love.

Creds from Canada!

2009-07-29T22:53:00.004-04:00

Who knew that "Jon and Kate Prayers" had such credentials in Canada? Recently, I stumbled across a wonderful review of this blog from Shelley Fralic, columnist for The Vancouver Sun:

Jon & Kate should go on a date. With God.

Her post begins, "Pray for the Gosselins. Well, that’s one solution to the reality couple’s troubled marriage, at least according to Rick Garner, whose Twitter bio says says he’s a “son, brother, husband, father, friend, and hard-workin’ webmonkey from Mississippi who loves Jesus, family and friends!”

The post continues with highlights from this blog including excerpts and details of its features and tools. Since Ms Fralic is syndicated, I've seen her column on a variety of websites. What a wonderful blessing and honor to have such a kind review of this blog shared via multiple websites!

Read Ms. Fralic's blog, Social Studies.

Power of Prayer

2009-07-05T21:45:00.002-04:00

What a difference a year makes. Just a year ago, Jon & Kate were enjoying family time at the beach...watching and experimenting with sparklers & Pop Its snapper fireworks. Since then, the fireworks have taken the form of obsessive media reports and the couple filing for divorce. Thankfully, the show is on hiatus this month and the couple has stated: "During this very difficult time we will be working to focus solely on the needs of our family. This includes no longer commenting publicly or reacting to media stories and speculation.”

This is an answer to prayer.

Even before a year ago, many fans have been praying for this couple. Regardless of your reasons or disagreements, you've lifted this family up in sincere intercessory prayer. Interceding for this couple was the genesis of this blog.

Many have questioned my motivation for creating this blog and my methods of promoting it. I expected and welcomed the questions and challenges. Others have called my responses to comments presumptive, arrogant, ignorant, and much more. John 15:18-19 says, "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you."

My motivations are align with many others: to focus on the positive for the couple, to pray for healing in their relationship, and peace for their family. Much to some people's dismay, there's nothing wrong with praying for this couple and their children. Regardless of your feelings for them, their decisions, their treatment of each other and the children, or the freebies they've received...at the end of the day, Jon & Kate are two people with eight children and they're facing divorce. Sure, they're in the spotlight and have nearly every second of the day monitored, photographed, and recorded. Sure, they made their family a business to support their family and a lifestyle. But if it's here you wish to pass judgment on them, I urge caution.

The Bible says “a perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends” (Proverbs 16:28). Some people thrive on negativity and gossip and look for opportunities to destroy others. Even when confronted about their poisonous words, they'd rather blame someone else and rationalize the behavior. “A fool's mouth is his undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul. The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts” (Proverbs 18:7-8).

We may not truly know if the motives behind the show were ever to really bring glory to God by showing the trials of a Christian family. That was the projected image and perhaps what could've remained the show's focus. However, fame has a funny way of changing people.

"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment" (1 Timothy 6:17). Wealth has such a way of making people arrogant...making them feel they are better and wiser than others. But wealth is so uncertain and we Christians forget that God will richly provide for us and for our enjoyment.

Philippians 4:19 assures us that God will meet our needs. He knows our heart's desires but will we humble ourselves and seek His wisdom in our lives? Which brings us back to answered prayers.

God has a way of answering our prayers for ourselves and for those we intercede. While divorce isn't what anyone wanted for Jon & Kate, it's interesting what's happened as of lately: the weekly airing of new shows gone for a month, the family withdrawing from the media during that time, Kate’s new cookbook Love Is in the Mix: Making Meals into Memories and a clothing line with Healthtex shelved for a while, and other signs that life as the Gosselin's have known it is unraveling.

God will get your attention. If you seek Him and/or others are seeking Him on your behalf, He will get your attention. Jeremiah 29:13 agrees.

Will Jon & Kate reconcile? We may not see those results in the coming days, weeks, months, or years. Often, we think we are entitled to have good things happen to us, because we’ve been good people. However, our efforts at being good or acting good will never get a nod from God or entitle us to good things happening to us.

We also think that only good things will happen to us after accepting Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior. However, our faith and Jesus’ forgiveness don’t erase the evil from the world. We forget that Christ promised we should expect suffering for His name and trouble in this world (1 Peter 4:12, Romans 8:17). Much of what Christians suffer as “bad things” of this world happen specifically because we belong to Christ and is because He suffered. Those without a faith in Jesus experience bad things because they live in a sinful world as well.

Continue to pray that Jon & Kate will turn from the things of this world and will do whatever it takes to heal their marriage and unite their family. God will provide for the rest. It's not His will that a TV show should destroy this family, however, He will allow it to happen. From our vantage point, we don't know what all will come out of this but we do know what we can do to help: pray if we are led. And if He wants us to move onto other issues of concern, we should do that - not because we don't feel our prayers are being answered, not because people are saying that you're wasting your time...only because God has other needs.

And you'll be able to know His needs for your life if prayer is a regular part of your day.

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So, Now What?

2009-06-22T22:35:00.002-04:00

UPDATED: Originally Posted June 19, 2009

For less than a week, TLC videos and headlines swirled pushing viewers and celebrity news readers to a crashing wave of a likely conclusion: Jon & Kate Gosselin are divorcing. TLC's viewership may return to the 10 million from a few weeks ago if only briefly.

So, now what? It's over. That's life...or reality television in this case.

While my wife and I have yet to watch an episode this season, the purpose of this blog hasn't been to encourage you to watch the show. Its purposes: discouraging gossip about this couple, praying for Jon & Kate Gosselin - individually and as a couple, praying for their children, and providing resources for strengthening marriages.

Now, you might think: "Ha! Lot of good praying for them did - they're getting divorced!" God answers prayers in 1 of 3 ways: yes, no, and maybe/wait.

Thus, you might conclude that God wants Jon & Kate to get divorced. Malachi 2:16 says, "'I hate divorce,' says the Lord God of Israel."

Jon & Kate have to be willing be listen to the Holy Spirit. They have to be receptive of the intercessory prayers being lifted up on their behalf. Romans 8:26–27 says, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."

All of our prayers have been heard for this family and will continue to be heard if you're compelled to intercede on behalf of Jon & Kate and their children. Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

In case you feel Jon & Kate are unworthy of your intercessory prayers, please note for whom you should pray: all in authority (1 Timothy 2:2); ministers (Philippians 1:19); the church (Psalm 122:6); friends (Job 42:8); fellow countrymen (Romans 10:1); the sick (James 5:14); enemies (Jeremiah 29:7); those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44); those who forsake you (2 Timothy 4:16); and all men (1 Timothy 2:1).

We are all called to intercede for others. True intercessory prayer seeks not only to know God’s will and see it fulfilled, but to see it fulfilled whether or not it benefits us and regardless of what it costs us. True intercessory prayer seeks God’s glory, not our own.

"As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by failing to pray for you" (1 Samuel 12:23).

As for divorce, according to the Bible, marriage is a lifetime commitment. "So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate" (Matthew 19:6). Since marriages involve sinful humans, God is not surprised by divorces. In the Old Testament, He laid down some laws in order to protect the rights of divorcees, especially women (Deuteronomy 24:1-4). Jesus pointed out that these laws were given because of the hardness of people’s hearts, not because they were God’s desire (Matthew 19:8).

Outside of adultery or abuse, divorce is a lack of faith in God, a broken promise to Him and one's spouse, and is selfishness between two people especially when children are involved. When a couple removes their focus from God and become so lost in their own emotions, wants, and desires...divorce is usually the tragic outcome. Yet, God still loves us.

Sadly, the divorce rate among professing Christians is as high as that of unbelievers. Why? Because we allow the world to dictate our wants and desires. We listen to gossip and lies. We cave to lust and other distractions. We ignore the promise we made before God and our spouse to always stand by their side. Yet, God still loves us.

The Bible makes it abundantly clear that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and that reconciliation and forgiveness should be the marks of a believer’s life (Luke 11:4; Ephesians 4:32). However, God recognizes that divorce will occur, even among His children. A divorced or remarried believer should not feel any less loved by God, even if the divorce or remarriage is not covered under the possible exception clause of Matthew 19:9. God often uses even the sinful disobedience of Christians to accomplish great good. That's how He works, because God still loves you.

Why Pray For Jon & Kate?

2009-06-02T17:23:00.003-04:00

Since this campaign began, I've read so many variations of the question: why pray for Jon & Kate? The implication is that if someone is greedy, selfish, acting foolish, or simply is someone with whom you disagree, they do not deserve your prayers. When did prayers become currency to be begrudgingly given out to certain causes? Let's examine what the Bible says about prayers:

James 5:13 - "Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise."
Philippians 4:6 - "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
Philippians 1:9 - "And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight..."
Romans 12:12 - "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

This couple, like every married couple, is going through trials and tribulations. Some may say they've made poor choices. Some may say the Gosselins are coordinating an orchestrated business plan. Actually, we don't really know and what does it matter? These are two people...who are married...and who have children. That's at least 3 reasons to pray for them.

To help you, I've provided some Scripture and focal points to assist your prayers, however, your prayer time with God is between you and God. So, pray as you are led.

Day 1 - Ephesians 5:22 - "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord."
Lord God, please allow Kate to set aside herself and her own needs and encourage Jon to lead their household.

Day 2 - 1 Corinthians 7:3 - "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband."
Father, I pray that Jon will be renewed in his commitment to his marriage and participate in every aspect of that covenant.

Day 3 - Colossians 3:20 - "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."
Yahweh, may all of the Gosselin children listen to and obey their parents. Please protect these children from any harm.

Day 4 - Titus 2:7 - "In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness."
Lord, allow the Gosselins to experience your grace and mercy everyday and in so be an example of You unto others.

Day 5 - Colossians 3:18 - "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord."
Father, may Kate not allow pride and emotions to overpower Jon.

Day 6 - Ephesians 5:23 - "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior."
God, Jon is the leader of his family. Give him the discernment and wisdom to perform this task everyday in Your strength.

Day 7 - Proverbs 21:9 - "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife."
Lord God, I pray that Jon & Kate seek Godly counsel to help heal their marriage.

Day 8 - 1 Corinthians 7:5 - "Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
Father God, I pray this couple finds a harmonious balance in their life and not allow worldly influences to distract them from family.

Day 9 - 1 Peter 3:7 - "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."
In the name of Jesus, I pray that Jon can see past his hurt and anger to reconnect with his wife in a deeper way.

Day 10 - Proverbs 21:19 - "Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife."
God, may Kate understand that words can push Jon into the desert.

Day 11 - Proverbs 31:10 - "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies."
Lord God, I pray that Kate realizes her value in Your eyes...and that Jon can cherish her in a new and special way.

Day 12 - 1 Peter 3:2 - "...when they see the purity and reverence of your lives."
Father, may the media and the world see purity and reverence in the lives of the Gosselins. Not by our will but by Your Will may this be done.

Day 13 - Ephesians 5:25 - "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word," Father God, I pray that Jon will step up and love Kate in daring ways and grow closer to You in the process.

Day 14 - Proverbs 31:25 - "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come."
God, may Kate focus and rely on Your strength so that she can laugh at these days and the days to come.

Day 15 - Proverbs 27:15-16 - "A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand."
Father God, it's so easy for Jon to give up and seemingly avoid wasting energy and time. I pray he sees with Your eyes what's around him.

Day 16 - Ephesians 5:27 - "...and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless."
Lord, may Kate allow Your love to shine through having made her pure.

Day 17 - Proverbs 31:26 - "She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue."
God, may every word that falls from Kate's mouth be uplifting.

Day 18 - Titus 2:8 - "...and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us."
Lord, may the Gosselins conduct their lives in such a manner as to bring glory unto You.

Day 19 - Colossians 3:21 - "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged."
In the name of Jesus, I pray that the Gosselin 8 are encouraged by Jon on a daily basis.

Day 20 - 1 Corinthians 7:4 - "The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife."
Lord God, may Jon & Kate work through their hurts and anger to heal and love each other in a new way.

Day 21 - Ephesians 5:28 - "In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."
God, may Jon love Kate as he loves his own flesh, needs, and wants.

Day 22 - Proverbs 31:27 - "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:"
Father God, may the Gosselin household have Your peace.

Day 23 - Titus 2:6 - "Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled." Lord, please tame Jon's restless spirit. Refocus his energies to bring glory to You.

Day 24 - Ephesians 5:24 - "Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
Father God, grant wisdom to Jon & Kate to understand their beloved partnership afresh and anew.

Day 25 - Titus 2:4 - "Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children..."
Lord, my the Gosselin's marriage be renewed and be an example to young couples everywhere.

Day 26 - Proverbs 31:29 - "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
God, may Kate be considered noble and receive high praise from her family and others with the glory to You.

Day 27 - 1 Peter 3:3 - "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes."
Father, we pray that Jon & Kate will not focus on wordly riches but to allow Your beauty to shine from within.

Day 28 - Colossians 3:19 - "Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."
Lord, encourage Jon and empower him to be supportive of Kate.

Day 29 - 1 Peter 3:1 - "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives..."
God, may Kate's behavior - not her words - communicate more than her words.

Day 30 - Titus 2:5 - "...to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."
Father God, may Your name be lifted on high!

Day 31 - 1 Peter 3:4 - "Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." God, we pray that Your love, grace, and mercy will be evident in the daily lives of Jon & Kate.

I Can Honestly Say Jon Is My Best Friend

2009-05-18T16:00:00.010-04:00

At the beginning of this year, these were Kate Gosselin's words in an interview with Today's Christian Woman: "I can honestly say Jon is my best friend."

Kate also says, "When the babies were born, I was well aware that our marriage could crumble. It was close to doing so at times. But we survived that first year. And then the second one. And then each year after that. Even though the issues have changed, it's never gotten easier.

"But Jon and I are more determined than ever that we're in this together. We've told our kids many times that we're always going to be a family. There are no other options. Sure, Jon and I take our stress out on each other, and no, that's not always good or healthy. But we work hard as a team every day."

Flash forward to the recent People magazine article with Kate saying: "I don't think I know if I believe him. I don't think that I know the whole truth and to be very honest, I don't think I ever will. My gut instinct says he's mad that he got caught. There wasn't a whole lot of thought that went into that behavior."

Yet, she also says, "I will never give up hope that every member of our family can be absolutely happy again."

Will they split up? Did anyone cheat? What about the children? The media firestorm noise is unbelievable. It truly is a feeding frenzy with these tabloids tossing their stretched truths and sensational headlines into society's piranha-filled streets.

My post "Why The Hate For Jon and Kate?" was originally written at a time when the discussions of Jon's martial infidelity had barely begun. Since then, comments to that post haven taken on a life of their own with many readers issuing their support or criticism of the family.

After all, discussions of Kate's abrasive type-a personality, Jon's inability to stand up for himself, or the possible endangerment of the children could only generate so much attention. Now, there's scandal and potential for divorce!

It's sad how we as a society enjoy watching the destruction of lives. Hence, my challenge to you and those you know who are fans of this show or who follow this couple's lives for whatever reason: pray for them.

Instead of me babbling on about my thoughts and instead of you guessing or wondering one more thing about them, I challenge you, your family, your friends, your co-workers, and their Twitter and Facebook followers to complete this prayer schedule and commit to praying for this couple and their family.

Why The Hate For Jon & Kate?

2009-04-03T09:50:00.007-04:00

This is a bit odd for me to write a post about "Jon & Kate Plus Eight." The only reason I watch the show is if Kim has Netflixed a season (we don't get TLC) and I'm relaxing with her. Kim's a fan of it and has read Kate's book. But why this post?

This family lives in our neighbor-state Pennsylvania, Kim and I concluded that Jon's personality is very similar to mine, and I'm sick of all the trash about them on the web and in the blogosphere.

One of my talents put to great use while in broadcast TV was that of researching. I love to dig up information, uncover facts, and track down truths. So, I quickly decided to use these skills on Jon & Kate. What'd I find?

That there's a lot of people out there speaking out of jealously, judgment, and ignorance.

Jealously comes into play in many ways but primarily it focuses on this family's lifestyle. Their new home, their vacations, and how they spend their time to name a few. HELLO! Let's not forget this family literally had nothing. Along comes this show and their life changes. That's called a BLESSING. What they choose to do with that blessing is their business, however, it would seem they want to continue loving their family and helping others by making their family a business.

This leads into the judgement. Kate shouldn't be doing this. Kate shouldn't be doing that. Why aren't they at home taking care of the kids? Why are they always separate? She looks unhappy. Blah, blah, blah! For one, you don't know them (nor do I but I took time to research) and you may not know they made a choice not to put their children in daycare and to always try and have one parent at home. I'm sure they have many other arrangements and agreements that we know nothing about. That's okay, that's between them.

Ah, yes, and now the ignorance. How ignorant the blogosphere is in making comments about this family. Let's face it, season one was all about what's going on in the neighborhood, at home, and just trying to cope with a family that large. But it's a REALITY-TV SHOW and having produced an Emmy-winning TV program, I know that experiments are a must. So, the family is put in this situation or this scenario is played out. Then, it's edited together in a way that is most promotable and sure to hook viewers. That's TV and sometimes it's reality but more often it's the reality of how the show is edited.

And why would anyone choose to believe some dribble from the Star?! These rags exist to exploit a shred of truth into a fabrication of saleable fiction. What is fact here? Jon Gosselin visited his mother to help her while she recovered from foot surgery. To take a break, Jon went to a local restaurant/bar. In a small town, there's often not a lot of choices for things to do. Some of the volleyball team members were there and asked to pose for pictures. Jon agreed and chatted with the team members.

This encounter becomes Jon doing beer pong at a party and making out with college girls?! I'm sure there was an eyewitness to this encounter who will gladly provide PhotoShop pictures of Jon performing these tasks. Please.

Then, there's those of you who continually stress that the children are being harmed and exploited by this show. As Jon stated, the "show is their life and their life is their show." However, the children aren't working. They are being taped. The children aren't being dragged around the country to speaking events and book signings. If exploiting the children means having a successful show because of the children, shouldn't we all be so fortunate? Let's face it, most of our lives are very boring and yet can be very exciting with only one or two children. We aren't being taped for a cable show. They are. Good for them!

Imagine having eight children. EIGHT! Imagine having very little and wondering how you are going to support your family and then in a few years having your name being a brand and having to want for very little. Imagine having to adjust to this celebrity while still learning to parent eight children and while trying to keep growing as a married couple. Imagine making mistakes and having each one possibly caught on camera and talked about across the web. How would you handle it? Could you?

Whether or not there's another season of this show isn't the issue. To me, the issue is often ourselves. What are we doing? Are we learning from their successes and failures? Most of all, are we trying to say encouraging things to our spouse and our children? Are we saying encouraging things about Jon & Kate? Words hurt and enough words can kill. Maybe not physically but certainly mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I want to close with an email that I attempted to send to Jon but it failed due to that mailbox being full. Perhaps one day he'll see it:

===========================
Jon,

I wanted to reach out to you as a husband, father, and fan of your show to say thank you. Few can imagine what you must have gone through the past four years. A father of one 4 year old daughter (yeah, I know), I can only imagine if my wife had multiple babies and while I was trying to get used to this new chapter, a camera crew began documenting many days of my life - the good, the bad, the ugly.

Your personality and humor I can totally relate. You and I may share the same personality Phlegmatic-Melancholy and my wife, Kim is, Sanguine-Choleric. We are exact opposites and beyond the age-old cliche that "opposites attract," I believe God has a plan in bringing two different personalities together. We recently Netflixed Season 1 and while I was chuckling at one of your reactions to Kate, Kim said, "He's your hero, isn't he?!" I couldn't deny it. You rock!

I haven't seen many episodes from your last season, but Kim mentioned that you had doubts about coming back for a fifth season. I learned online that indeed there will be a fifth and also about the rumors of pictures.

Taking a break from the show is a totally understandable thought. For everything there is a reason and a season. We're blessed to know your family for another season. Maybe there's a break after that and a return. Maybe it's over for good. The Lord doesn't promise us tomorrow. Let today be today and deal with tomorrow then.

As for the other, no one has any place to judge or assume. Too many want to start rumors for fame and destruction. After all, Satan would like nothing more than to destroy what ministry you guys are living for millions of viewers. A ministry it definitely is and many are praying for you.

So, again, I just wanted to thank you, Jon, for being you, for sharing a few moments of your life and your family's life with the world. For enduring the pressures, demands, scrutinies, hardships, and frustrations. And also for sharing the joys, delights, blessings, laughter, and encouragement.

Let no one defeat you or steal your passion but have peace and stay focused on Christ who is bigger than all of it

Your Brother,
Rick Garner

Exodus 14:14