Seven years ago I was taking a walk with my Mom near her home in south Florida when I noticed she was getting tired. My mom and I always walked together. She was a fit, walking machine and never got tired so I knew something was wrong.

“Let’s go back to the condo so you can rest,” I said.

“No, I want to walk to the store so I can get some food to make you a sandwich for your drive home.”

I was headed back to my home in Ponte Vedra Beach and my mom thought I might starve to death without eating during the five hour drive. : )

“Ok,” I said knowing she had her mind set. Growing up in a Jewish-Italian family, the one thing you didn’t do is argue with mom about food. To her food and love were one and the same.

We continued walking, made it to the supermarket and as we walked back I could tell she was getting more and more tired. When we arrived back at her condo she was exhausted and yet the first thing she did was walk into the kitchen to make me a sandwich.

On my drive home I ate her sandwich but didn’t think much about it at the time. Now, seven years later, I think about that sandwich a lot because it was the last time I saw my mom alive.

My mom was battling cancer which was why she was so tired. She didn’t tell me how bad it really was nor did she mention how bleak the odds were for her survival. She was fighting for her life and yet on that day her biggest priority was to make me a sandwich.

Looking back I realize she wasn’t just making me a sandwich. She was showing me what selfless love and servant leadership is all about.

At her funeral many of her real estate clients and colleagues came up to me and shared countless stories of all the selfless acts of love my mom did for them as well. Turns out she served her team at work and her clients the same way she served her family.

We often think that great leadership is about big visions, big goals, big actions and big success. But I learned from my Mom that real leadership is about serving others by doing the little things with a big dose of selfless love.

This week I want to encourage you to lead others by serving them. The opportunities to serve are endless. Just do something that let’s someone know you care about them.

Who knows you might even make someone a sandwich!

-Jon

What are some examples of practicing great servant leadership? Leave a comment below.

When asked how he did it, he gave the best advice I’ve ever heard.

He said, “I’ve learned to talk to myself instead of listen to myself.”

He continued, “If I listen to myself I hear all the reasons why I should give up. I hear that I’m too tired-too old-too weak to make it. But if I talk to myself I can give myself the encouragement and words I need to hear to keep running and finish the race.”

It’s the same way with life.

Too often we listen to ourselves and hear all the complaints, self-doubt, fear and negativity that lead to unhappiness, failure and unfulfilled goals.

But instead of listening to the negative we can choose to feed ourselves with the positive. We can fuel up with words, thoughts, phrases, scripture and beliefs that give us the strength and power to overcome our challenges and create an extraordinary life, career and team.

Just keep running, stay positive, talk to yourself instead of listen to yourself and make sure you celebrate and raise your hands in the air when you’ve reached your destination!

Do you need to talk yourself instead of listen to yourself? If you do feed yourself with encouragement what do you say? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

Congratulations Graduate! I know the media says the job market is horrible but don’t listen to the negative news. Sure, companies may no longer hire just anyone, but they will hire you if you are an exceptional someone. If you have talent and a great work ethic you’ll always be in demand. Those who settle for mediocrity will no longer cut it in today’s world. But if you improve every day and pursue excellence with passion and purpose you will truly thrive. I want to encourage you to believe in yourself and trust there are great opportunities for you! If you are optimistic about the future, you will take actions to create it! If your positivity is greater than all the negativity and challenges you face, your future will be extraordinary.

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It’s not the kind of the bubble that is about to burst and cause markets to crash and people to lose fortunes.

Rather it’s a bubble of optimism that drives innovation, creates jobs and represents everything that is right and great about America.

While the rest of the country was going through the great recession the people who lead and work for the companies in Silicon Valley refused to participate in the recession.

They were too busy trying to change the world.

While companies and businesses around the country were closing their doors and people were losing their jobs and homes, Apple, Facebook, Twitter, Google and thousands of other innovators and start-ups were changing the way we communicate, connect, learn, read, search, interact, live and work.

In Silicon Valley there is a bubble of optimism that is filled with a collective belief that anything is possible. If you have a great idea it gets funded. If you are willing to innovate and work hard the American Dream is very much alive and available to you. If you believe and you can execute and turn this belief into a reality, you can change the world.

The innovators of Silicon Valley are alchemists who turn ideas into gold. Where others see what is impossible, they see what is possible. While others see them as crazy, they see the future.
When a new idea or product fails they come up with a better idea and a better business. Failure is accepted as a part of innovation and growth. Ideas are tested and the best ones win. When old management techniques no longer work the innovators create new practices to make meetings productive (Jack Dorsey at Twitter and Square), engage employees (Duarte), and extract the genius and ideas inside each of their employees (Google).

Silicon Valley embodies the can-do spirit, creativity, drive and courage that made and will continue to make America the birthplace of ideas and innovations that change the world. But you don’t have to live in the valley to embrace their approach.

Amazon and Starbucks have created a bubble of optimism and innovation in Seattle. Zappos has found happiness in Las Vegas. GM and the big auto companies are powering forward with new ideas and making world class cars in Detroit. And thousands of technology start-ups located in cities and universities across the United States are dreaming of ways to change the world.

Every business, wherever they are located, can create a bubble of optimism that inspires them to think differently, act differently and lead differently.

And you don’t have to be a technology company to surround your business with a bubble of optimism. Whether you are a traditional big company or a small business there is a new idea or a better way of doing something waiting for someone to implement it.

The question is, are you bold enough, optimistic enough and even crazy enough to do it!
If you are, you just might change the world!

-Jon

Do you agree or disagree with this article? Why?

This is significant because the stories you tell yourself determine how you respond to adversity and how you live your life.

When Charlie Ebersol, the producer of The Moment on USA Network, survived a plane crash that killed his younger brother, one of the first things his mother told him was, “You are allowed to be sad but you can’t be mad, sad. You have to make a purpose and turn this into something good.” Charlie said that this perspective changed his life. He went on to sell his company, gave up all the things he had been doing and focused only on the things he loved—which lead to him producing an inspiring television show like The Moment.

In television and life people get knocked down. Those who see themselves as victims stay down. But those who see themselves as heroes get back up and armed with optimism, courage and faith, they move forward and take action to create a brighter and better future.

In one of my favorite books, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, author Donald Miller tells the story of a friend whose teenager daughter was rebelling, doing drugs and dating the wrong kind of guy. The dad decided he needed to stop yelling at his daughter and instead needed to create a different narrative for her life. He held a family meeting where he shared that they were going to raise money and build an orphanage in Mexico. At first his family thought he had lost his mind but then they all rallied behind the idea. His daughter even got excited about going to Mexico and meeting the kids there and posting pictures on her website.

A few months later when Donald Miller saw his friend again, he told Donald that everything changed for the better. His family was living a better story. His daughter even broke up with her boyfriend after he told her she was too fat. The dad said, “No girl who plays the role of a hero in her story dates a guy who uses her. She knows who she is. She just forgot for a little while.”

Those who study film making know that in every great movie the main character wants to achieve something but must overcome adversity and conflict in order to get it. And those who study life know it works the same way.

Whether you want to start a business, build a winning team, raise great kids, provide safe drinking water in Africa, help the homeless, find a cure for cancer, educate children or create a more peaceful world, adversity and conflict will be part of your story as you strive to achieve your goal.

But when adversity hits you can choose to tell yourself and the world a positive story and work passionately to create a positive outcome.

Boston taught us to tell positive stories in the face of conflict. Now it’s our turn.

-Jon

What story will you tell?

Most of us want to shape the hearts and minds of those we lead.

But, how do we do it and do it well?

We become Catalyst Leaders.

Enter my friend Brad Lomenick. Brad is the president and lead visionary of Catalyst, the innovative and experiential leadership movement that has been going on for now almost 14 years and is now one of America’s most influential leadership movements, with conferences and leadership gatherings all around the US.

Brad has just released a dynamic new book called “The Catalyst Leader: 8 Essentials for Becoming a Change Maker.” It’s a practical guide for all leaders, at any stage of their leadership journey, that defines what it means to be a Catalyst in this generation and inspires us all to be true change makers wherever we lead.

I asked Brad to share an overview of a few essentials he talks about in the book. Here’s what he said:

A principled leader is one who is disciplined, has integrity, and remains humble. Who you are becoming as a leader is more important than what you are doing. What matters is what’s on the inside. A hopeful leader is a visionary leader who is able to move people into the future with passion. I believe being an authentic leader is one of the most important. Over the years, I’ve realized a great lesson about leadership: I’m at my best when I’m simply being me. It’s taken some time to figure that one out. Every leader I know faces the temptation to project a persona other than their true selves. They think that in order to maintain the confidence of their team or followers, they must appear faultless, flawless, and ever wise. Yet I believe that what everyone around you wants is an authentic leader, not a perfect one. A leader who is willing to admit their mistakes. A leader that a team can trust and follow. The real you. That can only happen if I embrace who I truly am rather than trying to be someone else. The other essential that stands out for me is being Capable as a leader. Excellence is a non-negotiable and one we have many times not led with in the Christian community. As Catalyst leaders we have to make excellence a non-negotiable. Put into practice competence, excellence, and a standard of reaching for perfection. Chase after a level of excellence that will stretch you and astonish others. Capable leaders are willing to set standards that scare them. A true change maker strives to be the absolute best in the world at what they do. They hustle, they are hungry and are committed to getting better every single day. Being the best requires focus, determination, intentionality, hard work, perseverance and making sacrifices. The stakes are high. And we all know when our performance is not our best. Make sure your standard is not just being a bit better than average. Or merely being better than your competitor. You must always strive to be the best you can be. Without a standard of excellence in your work, you have no hope for becoming a true change maker. A Catalyst leader is capable. Make excellence a non-negotiable.

I couldn’t agree more.

If you haven’t picked up a copy of “The Catalyst Leader,” I suggest you do. Details and links to buy are at www.CatalystLeader.com

With so many organizations creating positive change and achieving significant results I wanted to know why. I believe there are patterns of success and so I looked for the patterns. I knew all these organizations read The Energy Bus but knew there had to be more. I’ve learned that you can give a team a bus (give them a book to read or attend a seminar) but unless you have a driver driving it (taking steps to initiate and drive change) the bus doesn’t move.

After speaking with many of my clients and asking a lot of questions I realized their success had everything to do with a leader taking the wheel and deciding to drive their organization and team on the positive road to success.

These leaders decided they were going to create positive change in themselves and their organizations. They made a commitment to be a more positive leader. They had a vision of the positive change they wanted to create and drove their teams toward this vision. They focused on creating a positive culture. They decided how they would deal with adversity, negativity and energy vampires. They identified actions they would take to enhance positive interactions and communication. They infused positive energy into every area of their organization. They invited everyone on the bus and enhanced engagement. And every day they developed other positive drivers in their organization that drove positive results.

Positive change doesn’t just happen. It is something we must drive and when we do, we change everything for the better. If you are reading this thinking, this sounds great Jon but I’m not the CEO, Principal, Director or Coach. I’m just a member of the team; I want to encourage you to do two things. First share this newsletter with the “leader” of your team/organization and tell them that once a leader decides to take the wheel and become a positive driver, amazing things happen. Second, realize that while you may not be driving the big bus you can make your bus great. Every day decide to drive positive change and influence those around you in a positive way. Invite others on your bus. Have fun and enjoy the ride. If you do this you’ll have a rewarding journey.

-Jon

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How will you be a driver of positive change? Share your thoughts below.

Dharma must sense what I’m feeling because she gives me this loving look as if to say “Don’t walk away. Pet me. It will benefit you as much as it does me.”

I’ve read the research and I know she’s right. Petting our dogs reduces our stress, boosts our immune system, enhances our happiness and improves our overall well-being. If I would just stop for a few moments and spend quality time with her I would be the one who benefits most.

It’s the same way with the relationships in our life.

If we made time to invest in our relationships and spent quality time with our family, friends and colleagues we would dramatically improve the quality of our lives and careers.

Yet, We focus on our to-do list instead of people and our own survival instead of building thriving relationships.

That’s why I often say that busyness and stress are the enemies of great marriages, leadership, teamwork, relationships, and customer service. Busyness and stress keep us from caring about the people and things we are supposed to care about.

In many ways it’s not our fault. Science tells us that when we feel busy and stressed we activate the reptilian part of our brain. If you know anything about reptiles they will never love you. Reptiles want to eat you. They are all about survival. And so are we when we feel busy and stressed. Creating meaningful relationships is the last thing on our mind when we are stressed. Instead our reptilian brain is thinking about how to just make it through the day and it will eat anyone for lunch that gets in its way.

The good news, however, is that we have another part of the brain called the neocortex. I call it the Positive Dog part of our brain and we activate it when we love, care, pray, and practice gratitude. In any moment we can override the reptile with the positive dog.

We can choose to love people instead of ignoring them. We can choose to slow down instead of rushing. And we can choose to be thankful instead of stressed.

In fact, the research shows we can’t be stressed and thankful at the same time. So anytime we are feeling busy and stressed we can pause, take some deep breaths, focus on gratitude, and change how we approach the day and the people in our life.

This brings us back to Dharma as she waits for me to rub her belly. My reptilian brain is telling me to keep moving, hurry up, eat breakfast and ignore the dog. But I can’t. I won’t.

I know how and why busyness and stress can sabotage my joy and relationships. I know the antidote to busyness and stress is a positive thought away. I know that in each moment of my busy life I can override the reptile and focus on my relationships. And I know that when I make relationships my top priority everything in my life is better.

When you know better… you do better.

So I sit down and join Dharma on the floor and rub her belly. Then I make my way into the kitchen to talk to my wife and kids before school. It turns out to be the beginning of a positive and productive day.

-Jon

Now that you know how busyness and stress can sabotage relationships, what will you do better to make relationships a priority. Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below or on my Facebook Page or Twitter.

Note: To read more about the science and benefits of positivity read The Positive Dog. To read more about cultivating engaged relationships read Soup.

I didn’t choose the word serve. It chose me.

While driving in my car in late December, I was listening to the radio and heard the word serve. It caught my attention. Then when I changed the station I heard the word serve again and knew it was my word for 2013.

After reflecting on serve I realized that it was a word, like my previous two words, that was meant to shape and mold me in new and positive ways.

I knew I was meant to approach my work and my family with a servant’s heart. With each speech I was to serve the audience by giving them everything I had. With each newsletter I wanted to focus on making a difference. At home I desired to serve my wife and family; no matter how tired I was from traveling. I was meant to put the needs of others before my own. My motto for the year became I am third.

So, I knew my word and why it was meant for me, however, from past experience I’ve learned that finding and knowing your word is one thing but living it is an entirely different matter. And a word not lived has no power in it.

For my word to generate power in my life, I had to live it. To do this I made sure to focus on my word each day. I made a poster at www.GetOneWord.com and put it on my smart phone so I see it daily. I also continue to look for ways to serve in any situation. For example when I’m flying I help my fellow passengers by retrieving their bags from the overhead bin. On one recent flight I was helping so many passengers someone asked if I worked for the airlines.

I also make sure to remind myself when I fall short. After all it’s not easy to serve when the busyness and stress of life causes you to go into self preservation mode and pride makes you to want to be served instead of serve.

Just the other day, after the busiest few months of my life, I was finally relaxing at home and watching sports when my wife asked me to run some errands for her. The first thought that popped into my mind was, “No, the last thing I want to do is get off the couch and run some errands,” but thankfully the next thought that came to me was serve and I was reminded that I am here to serve. I may have just spoken at several big time leadership conferences but big time leadership is serving those you lead.

I hopped off the couch and helped my wife knowing that living my word is not always easy but it’s necessary to become the person I am meant to be.

How about you? Did you choose a word for the year? Are you living it? Your word may not be serve but whatever your word is you can put it into action today.

One word can change your life if you are willing to live it.

In this spirit, if you have chosen your word for the year I want to encourage you to take stock in how you are living it. Write down three ways you can put you word into action each day.

If you haven’t chosen your word yet, it’s not too late. You have the rest of the year to find and live your word.

Also, here’s a graphic illustration of a One Word talk I gave to the leaders of Gallagher Bassett. I appreciate them for allowing me to share this with you.

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You can also do this with your team at work. See how this team at Pepsi who manages the relationship with BJ’s is focusing on their words:

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Kavaliro also put this in their offices:

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What is your One Word? Share yours and how you are choosing to live it out on my blog, Facebook Page, or Twitter.

-Jon