The Tavs

2013...The Year of Waiting

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Tue, 20 Aug 2013 22:32:00 +0000

We're almost nine months in, and I feel like 2013 is the year of waiting.

Each year seems to have a theme. Last year was the year of growing; growing in my faith, my marriage, in all aspects of my life. 2012 was rough and full of growing pains.

2013 though...it's been tough. More growing pains, but these ones are different.

I am not a very patient person and don't handle things well when I'm not in control of the situation, and I feel that God is testing me in every way possible in this area. Begging me to give it up to Him.

Early in January, we decided that we wanted another kid. We got pregnant so fast with the Monkey, we would definitely get pregnant right away...right? Boy we were wrong. We tried for five months with nothing, we were plagued with disappointment every month. Month after month I cried out to God, begging him to answer. And yes, five months is definitely not a long time in waiting to conceive. I've hand many friends that have waited and waited for years with no luck. However, when you're not used to waiting and things being out of your control, five months is an eternity.

After a lot of prayer and reflection, I came to the realization that God knows us before we're formed in our mothers womb. So, who am I to put so much pressure on getting pregnant. It will happen in God's timing.

Then one day in May, I got a positive! I had tested early, so we were cautious and didn't count on it too much. However, your emotions get tied into these things quickly, especially for the mom. I've heard it said that a dad becomes a father the first time he sees his child, however a mom becomes a mother at the very first positive test. That was true for me with the Monkey, and it was definitely true this time. I was so excited and couldn't wait. After a second pregnancy test a few days later, we figured we were good to go. Unfortunately, things don't go as planned, and without getting into gritty details, a few days later I was no longer pregnant.

They call it a chemical pregnancy. Where your body thinks your pregnant and you start to produce the hormone, but it just doesn't stick. It doesn't change the emotion and devastation that accompanies it though. That was your child that you'll never get to meet.

You never think it'll happen to you, then it does.

After a lot of praying and crying out to God, we remembered He was in control and was going to provide for us. He was bigger then this. So we moved forward. Not planning on getting pregnant right away, however we did. I was pregnant again by the middle of June. This time we were super cautious; waiting and praying that things would stick. During this time I found out that a good friend was pregnant too and we were both due 3 days apart. This was going to be awesome, we were going to be going through this together, day by day.

I went to my first check up, saw another friend who was also pregnant and due right around the same time, and everything was looking fine per the initial meeting with the nurse. So, we started telling people we were pregnant again. Then, a week later, I started spotting again. This time, I figured I had just worked too hard on the Monkey's 2nd birthday, so it was just my body telling me to relax. I got a doctors appointment for the next day where they did an ultrasound and told us that there was nothing in the sack that had attached. The next few days were excruciating and frustrating. I cried out to God constantly, praying for a miracle, however a miracle never came.

After this last time, the doctors told us we needed to wait at least six weeks from a negative pregnancy test before trying to get pregnant again. It took five weeks for all the hormones to get out of my body and for me to finally get a negative test.

Throughout that time, we contemplated the other major goal we had in our life...getting out of debt as fast as we can. Unfortunately, with a car dying, and having to take out another car loan in order to get a new car, we were three steps behind where we were when we started our Total Money Makeover and had begun Dave Ramseying it up. (Yes, we use Dave Ramsey's name as a verb in our house). Luckily, the housing market has begun to change and we have way more equity in our house than we thought. Why not try and sell our house in order to get some extra cash and pay off most of our debt? We'd only be left with one student loan and could knock that out quick if we found a cheep rental somewhere. Also, a new project to keep my mind off of obsessing about babies and counting the weeks until we can try again, sounded like a great idea.

So...the process of selling our house and moving began.

As I sit here and write this, it has only been two weeks since we signed the listing agreement, however it's felt like an eternity. We have received two offers, and countered one. However, when we countered, the buyer didn't accept our counter. Now, we're not getting the traffic we had anticipated. Things are out of my control and it's getting frustrating. The house we found and wanted to move into seems to be slipping out of our hands as each day goes by and we don't hear anything.

Throughout this process, numerous other people in my life are now pregnant, including my wonderful cousin-in-law. Don't get me wrong, I am ecstatic as these wonderful couples in my life get to experience what I get to experience everyday with the Monkey and I cannot wait to hold all of these new babies. However, there's still that small tug at my heart every time I think about it. Thinking about where I'd be right now if things had been different.

So, I sit here, contemplating this year of waiting.

Praying that God will hurry up and move. Come on...He's the King of the Universe, He can do things in my timing, can't he?

As I express my frustrations to my wonderful husband, he tells me God's timing is perfect and we need to give it up to God. He reaffirmed what I already know, that I don't wait well, and that I better learn or God will keep sending me on laps until I get it right.

So, as I gear up for another lap, my prayer is that this one will be different. That I'll be okay not in control this time. That I'll surrender to God's timing...

Absolute Surrender

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 23:09:00 +0000

A few weeks ago I was looking through my Kindle archive trying to find a good book to read. I finished the Hunger Games series so it was time to find a new book to read. When looking through my archive, I stumbled upon a book I've been avoiding, Andrew Murray's Absolute Surrender. I downloaded it, not remembering why I had been avoiding this book. Well I do now.

In short (and very very short) this book is all about living a life of complete and absolute surrender to God; living a life of complete faith and trust in God. It's easy to write, it's easy to even say, however living it is a completely different story.

Why is it so hard to surrender everything?

I sit here at work thinking about everything in my career that hasn't turned out right. I think about the fact that I should have a better job or a better something by now. I've worked hard, I deserve it. I sit here and think about how I received yet another no this week; how another opportunity has slipped through my fingers. I sit here as I wait on news from another potential job opportunity feeling completely down and insecure. If I don't get this next job, where do I go from here? Where do I even start looking again? What else can I do?

As I sit here in a cloud of self pity and doubt, I hear that small voice in the back of my head saying just surrender. Trust me. I have it taken care of.

Why is that so hard? Why does the control freak in me fight so hard against giving it all up? God deserves my surrender. God deserves that and so much more.

I want to live a life of absolute surrender in everything. And to be honest, there have been moments when this hasn't been as difficult. Like the time that Madison was so sick and was running a very inconsistent fever which caused her to have a febrile seizure when her fever spiked rapidly. I knew God was in control. I knew that while he has blessed me with the opportunity to raise this precious little girl, in all actuality she belongs to Him. I knew in that moment that she was in His hands and that He was in charge of the situation.

Why is it easier to have complete and amazing trust and faith in God during huge situations, however when it comes to the day to day things I struggle?

I want to be an example to Madison. I want to live a life of absolute surrender. Doesn't God ask for it?

My prayer is not that I get this job or that things work out the way that I want them to. My prayer is that I am able to complete trust God throughout this process.

Motherhood

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 15:56:00 +0000

This post is from September, and I stumbled up on it today and realized that I never published it. So here it is...

It's been a while since I've been on here. I've spent the last few weeks trying to update this blog because I wanted a place to post thoughts and memories that I can share with Madison when she is older. With her three month birthday right around the corner, I figured I better get this started before she's 18 and headed off to college. With that being said, here's the official relaunch of The Tavs.

Three months ago, on June 21, my life changed in such a dramatic and wonderful way, I became a mom. It's still weird to think about and to say those words. I'm a mom! I still feel like I'm too young to be married with a house, let alone be a mom. There are those weird days when I keep expecting someone to come pick up Madison and take her home to be with them. She can't possibly be mine.

Over the past three months, there have been those few moments where I've wondered how I was going to explain to the cops why I ran a red light or two, because the second the car stops the crying begins. Times when I've had to lay on the couch with pillows over my ears to block out the crying for just a few moments. Frustrations over feedings. And times where I feel completely overwhelmed. However, it is in those precious moments, when she first wakes up and smiles at me or when she thinks its funny when she burps that make all of this completely amazing!

My prayer for her life is that she learns what a blessing it is to have a personal relationship with our Lord and Savior and that she will help change the world for the better. That she will love unconditionally and have an amazing faith in people.

Getting Out of the Way

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 16:42:00 +0000

I've taken numerous personality tests over the past few years, and they have all consistently said that I am a High D on the DISC test. Which basically means I have an insane drive in order to get things done. This didn't come as a shock to me, as I've always known that I have a desire to achieve things, and get things done and get them done well. I create task lists all assigned to different projects I'm working on and will make sure that everything gets checked off and that the project goes off perfectly. I will usually take on more then I can handle, but no one will ever know, and I will do whatever I have to do in order to get that done.

Recently, I've taken on a lot of responsibility in doing Outreach. I love every minute of it and feel like I'm finally fulfilling what I was called for. However, I've noticed something recently. I've made these outreach events/trips as something just to check of my to do list. I get caught up in the details and make it more about me and getting things done then allowing God to move. I know God always comes and moves in great ways whenever we do these events/trips, however, I feel like I'm getting in the way. I'm more focused on the outcome of the events/trip and making sure that ll of my tasks are done correctly then allowing God to come in and use me to get His work done.

So, I'm getting out of the way. I'm allowing God to use me to get His work done, not the other way around. All of this isn't about me and getting things done, it's about God using me so that even one person can experience hope and love!

Rest

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Sat, 22 May 2010 00:49:00 +0000

It seems like rest is a common topic these days, as I read other blogs or talk to people, everyone wants prayer for rest. I feel like my life is on fast forward constantly and sometimes I feel like I can't catch up. With a new job, which is a blessing, and new opportunities at PURE (which I love) I feel like I'm constantly on the run. Constantly running from one meeting to another at work, while work starts slipping through the cracks, then after I leave here I run to a meeting at church or Bible Study or what not. And while I feel as if all of those things are a huge blessing in my life and I love doing all of them, I just don't feel like I'm getting rest anymore and that is affecting my relationship with God.

I sit there on Wednesday nights and listen to Shane talk about having a relationship with God that does not wither, that is constantly growing, and I feel like I fill my life with so much "stuff" that I don't have time to focus on God. I'm in the middle of reading Mad Church Disease by Anne Jackson (who is also doing as series on rest on her blog right now), and everything I read is dead on and how I feel about my life. I'm constantly worrying about keeping appointments or making sure tasks are done. I never stop and rest in the Lord.

Even as I sit here I fight it, I fight the desire to rest in the Lord. I sit here and think, but wait, we're moving next weekend, I have a million things to get done at work, I'm training for a half marathon, I have Cambodia and Mexico to keep trucking away at, however all of this would not be possible without God, so why am I leaving Him out of the equation. My prayer for the upcoming weekend and week is that I take the opportunities in my day to rest in the Lord, and that the Lord will calm my thoughts and I will stop thinking about my to do list, and that I can rest in His Presence and focus on Him and His plans for me, not what I want to get done that day.

All Hope is Not Lost

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:59:00 +0000

I saw a very discouraging bumper sticker on my way into work today, all it said was "All hope is lost". This statement broke my heart as I realized that as a Christian community we're not doing what we're called to be doing in our own cities.

So often I think of outreach as going to international countries, going to Mexico for the weekend, or serving the people on Skid Row. However, here is this person that is here in my community, yet I fail to reach out and show them Jesus' love. Why are we so quick to help those in other countries, yet shy away from helping anyone in our own community and cities?

As Christians, we should be shouting that all hope is not lost to anyone that is willing to hear us.

Holding Pattern

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 21:26:00 +0000

It's coming up on my one year anniversary at the hospital, which means its time for my annual review. My boss sent me an email asking me to send her a list of my goals for next year, and I realized I don't know what they are. Having such a huge career change this past year, I have no clue what I want my career goals to be or even what they should be. When I was working in Marketing, I knew that the ultimate goal was becoming a Marketing Manager, so I wanted to become a Marketing Coordinator then work my way up. Here, in Finance land, I don't know what the next step is.

When she first asked me what my goals were, I started listing off things in my head. Well there's the obvious, Love God and people more, close escrow on our house...basketball season is starting soon, so another goal would be that I have a great team of amazing girls again this year, other than that. I'm not sure what I would want. It's so funny to have goals outside of work and my career. For years, all of my goals were related to my career and getting ahead, its funny how things change.

After getting hired on at the hospital, and I went through three or four multiple career plans. I started my teaching credential, I thought about going into business for myself, all random ideas that lead me no where. Until one day I finally felt God calling me just to wait. Wait in Him because He has a plan for my life, and right now I'm right where I need to be. I don't know if my job will change once we get a house, or if I'll be at the hospital forever. Right now my life is in a holding pattern. I'm ready to take off, but I'm getting held up by air traffic control, until they're ready to let me take off.

If you had asked me a year or so ago, or even when I graduated from grad school, I would have been so frustrated that I didn't have an ultimate career goal or path to get achieve that goal. I was okay with being that intense about life and my career, one of my top strengths was achiever. Today, I'm okay with not having a goal. I'm perfectly fine getting up every day and coming to a job that I feel so blessed to have. While its not my ideal job or really what I want to do for the rest of my life, this job has provided way more opportunities then I'd get anywhere else.

I know God has a plan for my life, and I'm willing to sit and wait for Him to reveal it to me instead of trying to find it on my own.

"It's time to let go!"

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 20:56:00 +0000

I recently watched one of my all time favorite movies, Walt Disney and Pixar's Finding Nemo. I really enjoy everything about this movie, however there is always one of the scenes that stand out to me.

While trying to find Nemo, Marlin and Dory come across a Humpback Whale, that Dory insists on asking for help, because she can speak whale. As she's speaking to this whale, the whale proceeds to open its mouth and "eat" the two traveling buddies. While in this whale's mouth Dory is enjoying the ride while the worrier that Marlin is, is protesting everything and every moment they're in this whale's mouth. Then at the very climactic moment of the scene, the amount water in the whale's mouth begins to drop and it appears that Marlin and Dory are done for. Dory asks the whale what to do, being that she can speak and understand whale, she tells Marlin that the whale insists on heading to the back of his throat. Dory eagerly does what the whale says, where Marlin protests and hangs on to one of the whale's taste buds for as long as he can.

Dory: He (the whale) says, "It's time to let go!". Everything's going to be all right!

Marlin: How do you know? How do you know something bad isn't gonna happen?!

Dory: I-I don't!

After that Dory lets go and both her and Marlin are shot out of this giant whale's blow hole and they end up exactly where they needed to be.

It's amazing to me, because this one short scene in the movie is the one that usually stands out the most to me. How often do I ask God for his help, however I refuse to let go and trust Him when He tells me its time. I protest constantly along the road of getting to where God wants me to be and get terrified when I'm told to let go because I don't know what the next step is or where I'm going to end up. However, every time I've surrendered to God and let go, I always end up exactly where God wants me.

How I wish I had the faith that Dory had in that whale, to relinquish control and to trust completely in the plans that God has for me.

How Twitter Has Changed My Life...

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 20:26:00 +0000

Twitter is everywhere now! It's the newest thing in social networking, and I eagerly jumped on board back in March.

As of August 2009, it was estimated that close to 31M people are using twitter domestically with 310M hits per day. 43% of those people are between the ages of 18 - 34. Twitter is growing not only domestically, but also internationally, at exponential rates. If you're more of a visual person, and need to actually see how big twitter is, check out this site: http://beta.twittervision.com/. This whole twitter phenomenon is a marketer's dream!

Many companies and celebrities have been the ones to skyrocket twitter into what it has become today. The Ashton Kutcher v. CNN Twitter follower war in April was a national news story as all of America waited to see who would reach 1,000,000 followers first. Many other celebrities have latched onto Twitter and have further fed our culture's obsession with "stalking" celebrities. To be honest, that's why I first signed up. I could find out what Justin Timberlake, Miley Cyrus, Lauren Conrad, and a number of other people were doing on a frequent basis, twitter was better and more instantaneous then people.com.

Recently, over the past few months, things have changed. A while back, I realized that I didn't care what the Kardashian sisters were doing. They didn't seem to matter anymore as I began to refocus my life onto things that were important, loving God and loving people (I blame Francis Chan's "Crazy Love"). One day, I went through the list of people I was following and un-followed the majority of the celebrities that I was following (I did keep a few as I have a Disney Channel problem, as noted by my recent stalking of Disney Channel stars at Disneyland). After my twitter celebrity cleanse, I began to realize what a useful tool this is for ministry and my own personal relationship with God. I began following PURE, the young adult group at Water of Life, as well as the pastor for PURE. After them came very influential pastors and leaders in the Christian community, such as Rick Warren.

Throughout this experience I have been privileged to find new blogs and Christ followers that are a true blessing in my life. Most of them do not know me, and probably never will, however their tweets help me stay focused on what is actually important in this life, living each day by striving to serve and worship a God that deserves so much more then I can give Him. I can honestly say Twitter has changed my life.

Crazy Love Couples Bible Study - starting next week!

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 19:58:00 +0000

Standing in the Presence of God

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:49:00 +0000

For everything there is a season,

a time for every activity under heaven.

A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.

A time to grieve and a time to dance.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2a, 4b

It is with great joy that I get to say that my grandmother is finally at rest in the presence of God.

More times then not when we think about death, we think about the sorrow and pain of those that are left behind, but I've chosen to think of my grandmother's death as a joyous occasion. How amazing is it to think that my grandma is in the presence of God and is able to sit at His feet and worship Him in all His glory! Even as I write this, I'm plagued by a twinge of jealousy. How I long to sit at the feet of my creator and be able to worship Him as He deserves to be worshiped.

My grandma is no longer battling the illness that took over her mind years ago, she has been restored so that she might be able to give glory to God and stand in awe and amazement of Him! We are so flawed as humanity and we fall short on a daily basis, so much so that we don't ever deserve to be in the presence of God. However, His grace is sufficient enough so that one day we will be restored and are able to fall to our knees in front of Him.

It has been an emotional and long journey over the past few years, even the past week, but God has been faithful and I'm so glad that this is not the end, this is only the beginning.

Love through Christ

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 19:53:00 +0000

Over my life, there have been many glimpses of Christ's love pouring out of someone as they touched another person's life. There were always those times on missions trips or church youth group events, where you would see this outpouring of Christ's love into a community or to touch a life. However there are very few moments that I can recall that I have seen this in my day to day life.

My grandmother has been diagnosed with Dementia with Alzheimer's traits and has been in an assisted living home for the past three years. Unfortunately over the past few months her condition has become worse and her health has been declining drastically. Since we do not know how much longer we will have her here with us, my family and I went to visit her yesterday after church.

My mom is an only child and has been taking care of my grandma to the best of her ability for the past three years trying to make her comfortable and make sure she had the very best care possible. However, yesterday I noticed something different about how she cared for her mom. The loving touches she would give her mom, the way she would brush her hair out of her face, and the way she fed her so she could make sure she was getting nourishment were so patient and so kind. Still today I'm amazed at my mom and how she showed all the love she had for her mom and had done everything she could to let her mom know how much she loved her. She didn't do this begrudgingly or act like this time with her mom was inconveniencing her, she sat there and focused solely on her mom and her well being. Through my mom's outpouring of love I feel as if I was finally able to see a physical example of how our Heavenly Father cares for us and how He expects us to love other people.

How often is it that we get caught up in our own lives and our own agenda that we forget other people? I could have very well missed this opportunity yesterday to see my mom's love because of other things I had to do in order to get ready for the week ahead. Instead I was able to witness this amazing act of love and kindness and a perfect example of how we are supposed to love others. The second greatest commandment after loving God with everything we have inside of us is to love our neighbors. We often forget this point in this "me-centered" world we live in, but how can we truley love God if we're not loving our neighbors?

"Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
Matthew 22:37 - 39

Scared

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 19:12:00 +0000

I heard of a book recently by Francis Chan called Crazy Love, and since Francis Chan was one of the best chapel speakers that I heard during the three years that I attended chapel at APU, I eagerly requested my good friends at the APU bookstore to hold a copy of this book for me so I could read this book. Even though we are starting it in our couples Bible Study in a month, I just couldn't wait, I was so excited to dive into this book.

I'm currently on page 68 of this wonderfully written book and I'm honestly scared to continue reading. This book has presented numerous concepts that we've all learned over the years growing up in the church, and brushed them into the neat and tidy "Sunday School Lessons" pile that we bring out when we're trying to appear good on the outside. Concepts like the fact that God is all-knowing, all-powerful, holy, and eternal, or that no day is guaranteed and I could die before I finish writing this blog. There have been thought provoking thoughts and quotes throughout these 68 pages, but I've gotten to this point now, this point where I'm terrified to continue reading.

I've reached the chapter entitled "Profile of the Lukewarm", which corresponds to Revelations 3:16 "So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth." This verse is not new to me, I've heard it numerous times throughout my life. However, it never really hit me before like it did today.

I've always been relatively consistent in attending church, I'll even volunteer every once in a while, when it fits in my schedule, of course. I attended a Christian university, took numerous classes that dealt with the Christian faith and understanding certain books of the Bible on a deeper level, of course these classes were mandatory and I needed them in order to graduate. I attended chapel for three out of the four years that I attended APU, but I made sure I used my ten absences and might have even had a friend fill out a chapel attendance card for me once in a while. I have always tried to maintain the appearance of being a Christian and have consistently worn masks depending on who I am around, careful not to offend anyone either way. I'll even use the customary "I'll be praying for you" statement on numerous occasions, way too many to count actually. Looking back, I've always flown right under the radar and have been careful not to try to offend people when I talk about what school I attended or what I do with my weekends.

All of this I can explain away, obviously, its what I do best. Being a 6' tall girl it's hard not to stand out, and since I tend to lean towards being introvert, I tried my best to do nothing that made me stand out amongst the crowds. I enjoyed being mediocre at things, it never brought too much attention to me. So why wouldn't those traits be passed over into my walk with God as well?

All of this has led me to this point, where I'm scared to continue reading this book about a Crazy Love that we're supposed to have with God. If I'm supposed to truly be a Christ Follower, like I have claimed to be for the past 17 years of my life, my idea of what that looks like is going to need to change. The following quote is where I've stopped reading and has driven this self loathing ramble that I've been on for the past 20 minutes.

"Are you satisfied being 'godly enough' to get yourself to heaven, or to look good in comparison to others? Or can you say with Paul that you 'want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death' (Phil 3:10)?"

This quote has me terrified, not because I'm afraid that this is the wrong decision or that I don't want to love God as much as He wants me too, it's more because my life has to change. I can no longer quietly follow God and do the bare minimum in order to get by and to get myself only into heaven. I must change how not only I follow God but also how I live my life, which will mean that I will have to stand out amongst the crowd. Not only that, but I'm going to have to change the way I live my life. Francis Chan also gives another example using the parable that Jesus taught about the sower and the field. I've always assumed that I was good soil, how wrong have I been. "A relationship with God simply cannot grow when money, sins, activities, favorite sports teams, addictions, or commitments are piled on top of it...Has your relationship with God actually changed the way you live? Do you see evidence of God's kingdom in your life? Or are you chocking it out slowly by spending too much time, energy, money, and thought on the things of this world?" (p. 67)

I'm going to have to change my comfortable life, remove my numerous distractions, and relearn how to live and love a God that deserves so much more then I have given him in the past. This is going to be a huge step for me and is going to require a lot of work within myself in order to give myself 110% unto God. I ask for your prayers as I embark on this journey, not only that I will continue to change and develop a deeper love for God that ends up radiating out of me, but that I don't fall back into my old ways where I'm just a face amongst the crowd. I want to stand out and use all of me in everything that I am to glorify my God and give Him the love and honor He deserves.

God is good!

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 15:19:00 +0000

God is so good and once again Jon and I are feeling His blessings.

A year ago, Jon's mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. After a successful surgery and some chemo, she had no traces of cancer. Recently she had her annual check up with her doctors and they had requested an extra scan. Since the doctors had told her that this extra test was a necessity, we all began to feel a little nervous that the cancer she had and had fought so hard to overcome was back. However, God has continued to show His goodness and faithfulness and has answered our prayers. All of her tests came back negative and there are no traces of cancer!

All of this has just been a reminder to both Jon and me of God's faithfulness. He is in control of our lives and will continue to guide each of our steps.

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
Psalm 91:1-2

Spots on the Picture

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 20:49:00 +0000

There are so many times in my life that I think, in my smallness, that I know better then God does about what is right for my life. Jon and I have been very blessed in our lives so far, and really have nothing to complain about; we both have good jobs, a roof over our head, cars that run, an adorable dog, and a great marriage, but there are those times when I can't see any of that.

There are these little insignificant things, that are not a big deal, that become these huge dark spots on this perfect picture that God has painted for us and ruin the picture. God has been so faithful in everything He has done for Jon and I (there are way too many ways we've been blessed to list them), why is it so easy to forget those things and focus on those dark spots on the picture? It is only through focusing on Him that these dark spots begin to fade and I can begin to see this beautiful picture that God is painting just for me.

I still have those days where the dark spots begin to cloud in, and I start to focus on the little things, at that point I have to stop and remind myself to focus on Him. I am a work in progress.