JONATHAN LOVELOCK

From Bay Crits to Bunninyong, and All the Fun in Between

2012-01-23T12:11:00.000+11:00

An account through the brain of a sleep and caffeine deprived cyclist is what follows

The Bay Crits...
...were hot. stinking hot! Ripping out a few laps in the individual support race was on the cards and enjoying watching the elite guys get their internal temperatures up to a light simmer in the searing heat capped it all off. Nothing of merit for me. But my goals achieved, legs warmed up, lungs expanded, heart sufficiently stressed.

The National Crit Title...
...AJ Won!! Holy !!#!#$$# You little Rippa!!
Last year in our team it was all "Steele this and Haas that". With the team goal achieved (ie rider development, ie riders moving onward and upward) there was a lot of talk about what Genesys would bring to the table in the sprinting department in 2012. Well, we all knew the quiet lead out maestro known within our team as 'AJ' had what it took to fill the void (not to forget Alex Carver, a new team recruit who will want to take some sprint wins of his own this year). Now the cheeky bugger has gone and won an elite bay crit and a national crit title.

"They're racing as if they're HTC Columbia delivering Mark Cavendish to the line"

As Matt Keenan alluded to whilst commentating the crit; we rode well as a team. Maybe HTC is a bit of a stretch, but hey, nothing wrong with talking it up for the crowd! I got a few good turns on the front chasing a few lone riders and spent some time jumping across to breaks early on. All good. All painful. All fun

'The' Road Race...
...Start. Go Fast. Stop. The End.

Yes the race was fast, so fast it had me gasping for every gram of oxygen. Nick Benz looks similarly unhappy with life...

...Tailwind up the climb. Cross wind across the top. It was ooonnn. I survived for ~7-8 laps with the peleton then got blown away and called it a day to save some beans for the TT

The TT
Sweet merciful crap, that was windy. The race was analogous to performing a 50 minute plank whilst getting buffeted by winds that threw you around like a an ex cricketing star's Mercedes. Far out if I had of been racing with a rego plate I would have been done for drink riding for sure, I was going from left to right, back to left, back to right, back to... Unfortunately in winds like those, with disc wheels and 808 front wheels (Thanks Zipp!) holding a straight line was not possible. It was more like riding in sand, you just had to be firm but also relaxed and just let the wind take you where it was gonna take. I survived, phew.

So the good news is I am back into normal racing and training mode and hopefully I shall find myself better equipped to regale you with some funny stories in between, hopefully...

Getting less Fat. Are you a Loh or a Brad?

2011-10-07T18:51:00.002+11:00

The stages of coming back into form and fitness for my good self generally are

1) Get moving on the bike, yes you're fat but don't worry about it

2) Get moving more, wow you're fat but damn this exercise makes you sooo hungry, surely I can eat lots and the weight will drop?

3) Maintain moving more, oh no, still fat! Dammit, now I have to eat less

And so it goes. The ever revolving circle of weight gain, weight loss...

How different people manage their diets and their weight seem to be entirely personal. Some swear off fatty food forever, others prefer to have small amounts to keep their desires at bay whilst maintain a 24/7 strict control of their diet and others (like myself) adopt an all or nothing approach.

Last year in the Marco Polo team house we wear witness to an ideological stand off.

In the Blue Corner stood Marco Polo stalwart, my Malay/Chinese food mentor and lover off all things tasty Loh Sea Keong.

Mr Loh is Mr Happy

In the Red Corner, Asian racing veteran and anti-fat zealot Brad Hall

Brad and Jono, getting into Qinghai Shape

I first arrived in Geleen with hard established routines with my healthy eating in place. This was completmented by the strict low fat diet of Brad. To quote Brad from various times and places

"Oh no, I don't eat nuts, too much fat"
"Hmm no, deep fried, not for me"

Frankly, I am jealous at his commitment and fortitude, it's really something to behold. His diet is pretty darn sensational, and what's what, it works for him. He does not do fat.

But I was getting mixed messages.

I would look across and see Loh with Red wine and a thick wedge of triple cream brie, and he would just smile and laugh;

"It doesn't matter Jono! You worry too much, whatever makes you happy. I have wine, I have cheese, I have no depression!"

And it sure worked for Loh. He was in for the long haul, he knew how to manage long stints away from home. And he knew what he needed to keep himself going; small doses of the good stuff.

Loh chucking another steak on the barbie

In reflection, I now know I sit the fence between those two. It's all or nothing. I have a split personality, for half the year I am Loh, for half the year I am Brad. I can only get through each period of being Brad because I know the reward of being Loh is not too far around the corner.

Those in attendance at one recent and notably ferocious dumpling session saw Rhys Gillett put away more than a few plates of dumplings. These people bear witness to the success of the All or Nothing approach. He is one skinny MOFO.

All or Nothing, do tell more:
When the time is right, have a few drinks, have some of that tasty cake. Enjoy it. Go nuts. As long as you are aware that all these jolly festivities will have to be worked off. There is no creative Greek accounting here, Goldman Sachs aren't gonna help you hide that blubber off the balance sheet, it's there. You know it's there. You have been warned.

When it's time to get down to business then there's no more messing about, cut the crap, drop the alcohol, get used to being a bit peckish most of the time, and get pedalling. It works for me.

I have one weakness though. One thing that keeps my obsessive compulsive tendencies at bay more than any toenail picking sesh' or any knuckle crack. That's coffee.

What's that you ask, coffee's not unhealthy? What are you on about you nutjob?

Well, long story short, (and aside from delving deep into the positives or negatives of caffeine, although if you feel like bombarding my comments, go nuts...) I ween myself down off coffee coming into big races to maximise the caffeine kick I can utilise during races. Or, moreso, just to get rid of any withdrawals if for whatever reason (god help me) I can't get a coffee before a race.

What this means for me is it's damn hard to be battling the bulge AND dosing down off coffee at the same time. It's very hard.

Yeh Yeh, I hear you all say, tough the **** up.

But no. Stuff ya's all.

And yes it is worth the stress of managing the ebbs and flows of going up and down through BMI categories and various states of caffeine addiction. It's very much worth it. Because food is awesome. And coffee is even awesomer (Yes I did that)

I know what process works for me

Haidar, Loh, Brad, Jono all tucking in

The question is, what works for you?

Big Brother Altitude House- Living with Iron Men and Women

2011-10-04T19:45:00.001+11:00

Time in the altitude house out at VU has come and gone.

There were a number of good things about livin' life in the altitude hotel. Firstly, it's dam motivating being around a bunch of endurance athletes preparing for the Hawaiian Ironman.

Dinner time conversation usually goes like this:

"What did you get up to today Jono?"
"Oh, I've been pretty busy, I went home about 10am, then I snuck off to do some pilates then I got back to do my hour of riding in the heat. You?

"Yeh not too much, just up a touch before 5am to get to swim squad, then back for my hour in the heat on the bike, then to work for 12 hours then I just ran from work to home, to the physio's, then to the gym, then back here and I'm gonna knock off some calf raises then I'll be done.... it's been a cruisey day."

The funny part is you think I'm joking.

Secondly, it's even better being a 'hard working' uni student around a bunch of double timers (that is, full time worker + full time athlete). I certainly appreciate the flexibility in my schedule that's for sure.

Aside from time playing lab rat I've been getting on the bike OUTSIDE (which is freakin sensational)

Take this morning, Beach Road;
-Coffee
-Sun
-No wind
-Good training partner, Mitch aka Dr Moo.
-Coffee

On Sunday, out through Eltham,
-Coffee
-Sun
-Nice hills
-No magpies (got lucky)
-Wicked muffins at Smiths Gully (+ coffee)
-Good chatting with Stalds
-Tagging onto a bunch on the trip home (Who knew, a break away bunch from the 6amers , know there's another bunch of guys who I can train with and have my legs ripped off)

All the things that make cycling great; different training grounds, different training partners, tasty baked goods, copious amounts of coffee and those luuuurvely post exercises endorphins. Like all good things, cycling is addictive.

Perfect

And on a final note I did another interview, this time with Shawry.

Indoors Vs Outdoors

2011-09-10T16:14:00.000+10:00

Riding indoors is not fun. It is
-Sweaty
-Hot
-Irritating
-Tedious

Riding Outdoors is fun. It Is
-Totally Awesome
-Totally fun
-A lot more social
-Exilirating
-Relaxing
-Not quite anagramitcal (I may or may not have made that word up)

So, 10 weeks ago I got chopped up. 10 weeks later I am now going for a ride outside. I can't wait. So, very, excited.

Anywho.... it makes perfect sense that after an extended period of being locked indoors pedalling furiously but going nowhere, that one would stay the heck away from all forms of indoor cycling.

For me, however, I have signed myself up for another two weeks of pure indoor bliss. I'll be stationed out at Vic Uni in Footscray where nights will be spent sleeping at 2500m and days will be spent with an hour back at sea level but with the heat dial racked up to 30 degrees and 80 percent humidity and I'll be trucking away at 70% of VO2. Should be, um, fun. I figured a bit of structure would be good in getting back into the swing. Now I think it might be a bit of a drag! But hey, it'll be easier than Qinghai lake...

So back on the bike means back on the blog. Happy times.

Jono

Round Two

2011-08-09T22:39:00.002+10:00

Is here

Good luck to everyone at tour of Geelong. Stay upright and if you're lucky maybe it won't rain like last year!

Jono

Playing the PR game

2011-08-06T13:46:00.000+10:00

Whilst I am restricted in playing a part on the road with the team I have been keeping my interest in all things orange going with some part time musings over on the team site.

First up is an interview with the recent 5 stage victor (some would say destructor) at the Tour of Gippsland, Steele Von Hoff

And yep, I need some photos to really spruce it up, but whilst using the team monicker I am not as comfortable with blatantly plagiarising as I would if it were just myself!

Enjoy

The Scope of the Matter

2011-07-17T18:17:00.002+10:00

Sitting back watching the tour. Watching some fantastic racing and all I want to do is go and race my bike. But I can't! For at least (quite possibly more) 6-8 weeks I won't be allowed to ride my bike outside. Surgeons orders.

Wait, what?!?

Yep, that's right, in the last few months of laying low I have been chipping my way through some exams and once they were over it was straight down to the Avenue hospital for a quick left hip arthriscope and an excision of a lesion. Nothing like the fresh grafting of bone to brighten up your uni holidays.

Nevertheless, I made sure to utilise the precision that I apply to my training schedule in structuring my surgery;

-Operation: 1st of July
-Tour de France: 2nd of July
-Add in TV downloads from the Coach (thanks coach) and Movies from the raging TT Lama and my couch time has been maximised.

But seriously, where did this come from??!?!

Well, it's been on the cards for a while. Having a few knocks to the ol hips and some naturally shit shaped hips to start with has meant that this was something that was likely to happen one day. Now its done I can get back to riding my bike

So what the hell does it mean?!?

Arthriscope: Key hole surgery, bone grafting/grinding/scraping and cartlidge repair within the hip joint.

Excision of lesions: quick open up at the front of the hip, move some muscle around, a quick chop here, a quick chop there and hey presto, new hip for jono.

So what now?!?!

The progression of recovery is roughly as follows;

- 0-2 weeks: feet up watching the tour
- 2-4 weeks: easy work on the wind trainer, some light rehab exercises, feet generally remain up
- 4-8 weeks: bit harder on the trainer, harder rehab, possibly some light gym
- 8-12 weeks: more gym, more rehab more riding
- 12 weeks+: Possibly cry at the chance of riding outside again

So I am absolutely chomping at the bit do some racing, or even some bunch riding. It's driving me nuts. But for the time being, patience is the key.

Cheers,

Jono

PS: A big, enormous, massive thanks to those (like my sensationally awesome team: Genesys ) who have been patient and allowed me to get myself sorted in a timely manner. And an even bigger thanks to my parents, who continue to wait on me during trying times. If I was a horse, they may have sent me to the glue factory by now. But hey, if bike riding was easy, it wouldn't be worth doing (may have stolen that quote from Davo)

Break in Transmission

2011-05-27T18:11:00.001+10:00

Been a while! Sorry, but alas all my creative talents have been at their wits end trying to put some 'creativity' into essays on enthralling topics such as Industrial Relations in post unification Germany and post Mao China, and the roles of institutional investors in Corporate Governance. Just, so, exciting.

Anyway, what's been going on in super lazy dot points:

I raced Tour of Canberra. I went as expected (not great![at this point in time]). The team went as expected (Freakin awesome!) and thus the team jets off to the next round of the NRS in Toowoomba with Nathan Haas kicken arse and the rest of the guys also putting the boot to the proverbial behind

One thing we did do in Canberra, which was really good was a bit of a fun ride/general mess around and act like kids, with, a bunch of kids. Some of the local sponsors got word round so that when we rocked out to Stromlo Forrest Park the day before the tour started to cut some laps with a bunch of really enthusiastic kids. AJ even got the idea of setting up a tt course for the kids to race each other on, it got heated that's for sure!

Other memorable moments include Shawry having words with a grumpy baggage handler who was throwing bikes around, and getting through three days of racing without any rain.

Coming up in the not too distant future for myself is a period of not too much whilst I navigate my way around some more thrilling exams. And not heaps more. I know, what the heck am I gonna talk about??

Well for starters I am looking at some options to finally (touch wood) nail a few of the issues I have been having with my left hip. The upside to this is, the greatest sports doctor ever to walk the earth (Andrew Garnham), has sorted me out with a more than interesting hip rehab/prehab/general stability regime. Let's just say; Ballet, Dancers. Wow, geez, talk about flexible. My previous round of pilates work had me working in an environment whereby the coefficient of ballet dancers to non ballet dancers was, oh, say, 1:10. But now it's a ratio of Ballet dancers to Jono that's about 100:1. Brilliant.

All for now, stay warm this winter and enjoy the finish to the Giro! (I'll be busy thinking I can Dance.)

Jono

Win some free stuff!

2011-03-18T17:03:00.000+11:00

Ok, long and short

IF you want to win a free pair of compression socks jump onboard with Zensah on facebook and 'like' them. Then follow the prompts. Easy.
http://www.facebook.com/zensahsports

In other news, I must confess, I had my socks on for the return flight from Malaysia (and they did the trick re 'cankles'), but I did have to take them off after a few hours of the flight there as for whatever reason (acclimatisation most likely) the plane was baking hot, so I couldn't hack any extra heat!

Malaysia was good fun albeit a bit flat but unfortunately the reports I wrote for our team website from stages 3-6 all got lost in the wild world of the interweb. Given I have an essay to finish before I head off to oceanias in Shepparton I don't think I'll be catching back up on them unfortunately. I can quickly say the highlights (or lowlights) of our time were

1) Mark O'Brien's golf ball sized saddle sore*. Wow. just wow!

*Before editing this I spelt it 'saddle saw', now that would be a sight to behold...

2) Torrential rain, oh so much rain.

3) Bus transfers before and after stages. Not the most enjoyable, especially given the highly bureacratic nature of the race organisors. 10:00 start, 10k transfer, therefore 7:30 bus. Yeeaahh. Great. Then we get there and sit around for 2 hours then the buses return from the second leg (which we were not informed of) with all the Malaysians smiling thanks to that extra hour of sleep. Reminds me of Cadel's Spanish wheel change last year!

4) 10k neutral sections before stages at 15-20 k per hour. Yep, when you have a 220k stage coming up there is nothing more you look forward to than 30min of neutral. (sarcasm intended)

5) Starbucks. That's right, I went there.

6) Curry. Yum

7) A block of cadbury given to us to lift our spirits pre stage.

8) Lots of space on our flights given the random 3am departures and arrivals.

Now it's back to the essay!

Jono

Malaysia

2011-03-15T11:58:00.000+11:00

Some reports from the race are here, if they are not there yet, they should be soon!

Got the whiff

2011-03-05T20:13:00.001+11:00

Racing in Asia. I love it.

It nearly broke my heart to not be able to race my final two big Chinese races, Tour of China and Tour of Hainan, with Marco Polo at the end of last year. But I was a was a broken, buckled, overly metaphorical wreck.

But alas, with many an hour of rehab work I am back on track, and thanks to Genesys for having some faith and taking me on in my buckled state I am only a week away from a return to the Asian scene!

On the cards for the team is Jelajah Malaysia and the Tour of Korea. Both are going to be fantastic.

Malaysia will be a real shock to the system. Hot and humid, like a punch in the face. But the curries and catch ups with Malaysian friends from Marco Polo will make up for it. I cannot wait! The course is unfortunately flat but given it runs along some coastal roads before making its way south towards Kuala Lumpur I am hoping for some wind to tear it up. Maybe even some success like Marko experienced last year

Korea is going to be similarly fantastic. I can't really put words to how excited I am! I had such a ball racing there last year. The race was so well organised, I mean they even chartered a private flight to transport the entire race after stage one, the food was amazing (anyone say kim chi?) and the racing was really tough. It had everything, wind, rain, snow, mountains, highways, kim chi. Everything.

The only two downsides are that I have to bust my arse being back at full time uni, it's just one big game of catch up but hey that's life. Secondly, the flights start to drag, especially when your flight to Kuala Lumpur depart at 03:30 on Sunday morning! Ouch!

Here is a good recap from our Childrens First Foundation ride a few weeks back and some more talk on WattBike Max power comps, geez there are some good sprinters out there in the Genesys corporate world!

Time to grab a quick nap before heading off to the airport, I think this is going to be a disjointed night for sure!

Jono

Hobart

2011-02-27T17:48:00.003+11:00

So, day 1, training camp:

90k's there. Lunch. 90k's back.

Simple equation? I think not!

When the trip down takes not much over 2 hours, without minimal stress, you know you are in trouble. And trouble we were in. It was windy. So bloody windy! We had 8 guys swapping off into the headwind and we struggled to crack 30, this was out of this world bat-shit crazy. Stupid. It should never be that windy. I hope it never is again. As my cheeks still have a bit of windburn

Day 2
Cold. Snow down to 900m overnight. Summer? A Tasmanian summer at best. The rain continued, as did the ride. After 3 hours or so our route was shortened to avoid snow and save sanity. What is going on in this state?!? It was really turning on the weather for the mainlanders. Only coffee and carrot cake could save some face for this frigid land.

Day 3
Mt Wellington. The one I had been waiting for. 3.5 hours of nice bunch riding, loads of ups and downs, some swapping off, some lunch and then up the climb it was. We had a bit of a race, the results showing who was strong, and who was even stronger! Everyone soon felt deflated when we came in around 10 minutes behind Ritchie Porte's PB time up the hill. Never Mind. The view ( and maybe some coke) revived our spirits after the hour of power.

Ok the pictures are crap, but at least I tried, unlike Kane (seen below), who thanks to some remaining Indian gastro gut and a sore knee found more respite in bed, rather than going up the berg, wise choice Kane, wise choice...

Day 4
Today it was TV time. Local Hobart TV were swooning over the ever impressive Nathan Earle who is soon to be deemed the next best thing since sliced bread (or Ritchie Porte, or Will Clarke, or Cam Wurf). So as we rode off straight up hill (whose idea was this!?!) we had to put on a brave face and pretend not to be suffering, somehow we climbed 900m in the first 45 minutes even though none of the climbs were longer than a few k, guess they all added up. The day then followed some nice easier roads only then to send us up some more vicious bergs that resulted in the numbers being pinned on and the ears pinned back. I couldn't hold the front men. I was suffering big time. This camp was harder than a race. Then it was the half an hour swap off that really blew everything out of the legs. Lunch was on and the day was just about done. The ride back from New Norfolk to Hobart was spent reminding myself how to pee on the bike (well, to pee away from the bike moreso) whilst on the move. I am not sure if the afternoon traffic understood what was going on. I bet it looked weird.

Day 5
The finale. Nearly done. It was a long early section of the ride on some roads that were so far beyond dead I think they must have been brought back to life, then killed again. They were D-E-A-D. But quiet nonetheless. Lunch was churned, coke was consumed and the last part of the ride was another swap off from hell. Everyone wanting to hurt everyone else. Perfect. A tick over 6 hours and the camp was done. Phew!

Everyone is now ready for Jelajah Malaysia!

From back on the mainland,

Jono

Zensah Compression Socks

2011-02-26T10:09:00.001+11:00

Well a sad but wonderful thing has happened recently. I have sold out.

Yes I am taking over the world one free pair of compression socks at a time. If you divide the hours I waste typing this stuff up by one pair of $50 compression socks I would be making a good $0.0002 dollars an hour, maybe less. But nonetheless I was as giddy as a school girl when Zensah compression contacted me and asked me to do a review on their product. Ooo-right.

So, a few weeks later and after some time getting to know my new pair of large Zensah socks I have a review to put forth. Firstly, the short sharp summary

PROS
-Very Comfy,
- No skin irritations, rashes, general annoyances
-Mild compression, effective on short flights, feels nice after a hard ride
-Nice and warm ( would be a CON if in a hot climate)

CONS
-Rather warm, if in a really hot area you may get a sweat up wearing them
-Mild Compression, if you were after something much more compressive you would have to go custom fit
-Arch support?

The Compression Sock Guru
After injuring my right hand ankle/shin as seen here I needed some good compression to stop blood/fluid/yoounameit from pooling around my ankle. Once I returned to weight bearing activity (and cycling) I wore compression socks round the clock (except in bed). The socks I had that time where a pair of Venosan custome fit ones. Given the circumstances I require a high compression (somewhere in the realms of 30+ mmHG) and having long and skinny legs meant that by the time I got socks that fitted the length of my legs they were no longer tight enough.

Going back to the Zensah socks at hand I found that given the cheap price tag (compared to ~$200 worth of custom surgical grade ones) they provided a nice level of compression but not nearly as much as my previous pair. That was, however, to be expected. Furthermore; if you found yourself with larger calves than my good self then you would be getting a more snug fit. Even for my skinny legs the socks did stop any swelling on our flights to and from Hobart (1 hour flight time, loads more sitting at airports playing Fruit Ninja on i-phones) for our training camp which is impressive, and I am looking forward to seeing how they go after 8 hours to Malaysia in a weeks time ( I will update the report so do check back to see my thoughts)

I am one of those people who loves to walk around in socks, indoors, outdoors, anywhere. Thus my post ride routine on camp was to clean up, feed up, then get kitted out in a t-shirt, jocks and socks and whittle away the arvo. The socks held up very well with the base stitching being very thick and durable. So on one hand it may be disapointing that the socks can get very warm, the trade off for this warmth is comfort and durability. You may look for socks with thinner stitching around the sole but they may not last particularly long. Also, if it is cold, warm socks are a god send. Given we woke up to snow on Mt Wellington on the second day of our camp you would have to have been lucky to get the socks off me that day! The socks were fantastic in Tasmania, though I can foresee they will be getting pretty sweaty in Malaysia.

The only real qualm I had with the socks was the claimed 'arch support'. I am a bit sceptical of this claim, yes the base of the socks is very thick, it is comfy, it is durable and it does compress nicely. They feel nice when worn for recovery, they help with ankle swelling during flights and on one of my recovery rides they did feel great (but you won't catch me racing in them due to sponsorship issues). I can't really say if the claimed arch support of the sock aided in any of the above. I think you would have to get a pair yourself and draw your own conclusions.

Finally, I have notoriously sensative skin that will always revolt in red rashes and blisters in response to certain products, like band aids, strapping tap, certain types of rubber/latex and some tight fitting materials that involve some sweating (Thankfully not lycra!). So it was one big tick that these socks didn't trigger any problems. That's a pass for the claim of anti-microbial fabric in my books. Also, after two weeks and not one wash they don't stink. Surely that's a miracle!

So, after weighing up the pros and cons of the socks whilst trying to be honest and not a marketing puppet; I would conclude that I would have no issues in recommending these socks to you. If I wanted some compression socks, and had no serious injuries that required very high levels of compression, I would buy these socks happily.

Happy Hunting

Jono

This One Time, at Band Camp...

2011-02-19T09:06:00.001+11:00

The two things I think of when Hobart is mentioned to me are:

1) Cold Weather

2) Mt Wellington

So when our team decided to have a week long training camp in Hobart I got pretty interested. I started packing my thermals even though it's summer, and then I started wishing I was as light as I was when I was 15.

I also packed my flute. You never know.

During my time with the VIS we where always lucky enough to have our camps at Bright in the epicentre of the Victorian Alps. We had Hotham, Buffalo, Falls Creek, both sides of Tawonga, Rosewhite and the climb into Beechworth at our feet. It really was an all you can eat buffet of long painful climbs, I was always cautious not to overindulge. Every hill there were always two or three different groups:

1) The overeager juniors. The halfwheelers. The racers. They had numbers pinned on and there was a finish line at the top. They often started out the week smashing up the climbs, going like Contador past a dropped chain, the moment the road went up these kids found their way to the front

2) The camp regulars, these were the guys that had been overeager once, but now found themselves weathered but nonetheless wise. Racing flat out on the second day up Falls Creek usually meant a world of agony then next day up Mt Hotham. These guys paced themselves and did some specific efforts but generally climbed en masse and put pressure on the overeager juniors to 'Slow down it's not a race!'

Every regular knew that on the last day coming back from Beechworth was when everyone put their balls on the line ( chicks too!) It was the 'halfwheel-off' of the century:

Riders two abreast, mano a mano, you and your nemesis just kept upping the tempo every 500m of your turn, the pace always increasing to the excruciating end. Each rider trying not to let on how much it hurt, no swaying, no grimacing, just push, push, push.

"Keep your breathing steady, eyes straight forward, keep your cadence up, don't bog down, oh god this is starting to hurt, don't worry, he'll crack soon, just 500 metres more, you can do it, come on, keep going, oh god was that 500 metres all ready!?! Hey! I said STOP swaying, what are you doing with that breathing? Sounds like you are being strangled"

Then as both riders neared thermal implosion the stronger of the riders would begin to sense the kill. Like any true predator the strong partner would go in for the kill. As the weaker rider you could tell when your stronger nemesis started to smell your defeat, they oozed confidence, you knew, that they knew, that no matter how much they were hurting, it was hurting you more. Much more. They had the power to end it all. And eventually they would put it down one more cog and blow you to smithereens. And it was game over, back down the group you would drift, fending off the taunts of defeat. Only to do it all again next time you got to the front.

3) Then came the 'out of formers'. For these guys the camp was pure agony. The juniors smashed you on the climbs, the regulars flogged you on the flats. No rest. No joy. Just a long week of seeing the group of riders you should be with disapearing into the distance whilst keeping a brave face when Davo drops back in the car to see what's taking you so long! No hiding here!

Throughout my VIS years I have been a member of all three groups and I always came back from the camps feeling fitter, stronger but mighty happy to be home.

The only downside being, that even with enough climbs to construct a grand tour, it still managed to get a bit 'same same' throughout the years. Nevertheless this repetitive grind didn't worry me, being a creature of strict routine and structure I found it kind of pleasing knowing exactly what we would be doing each day.

So with tomorrow comes a whole new training camp! Getting on a plane for starters adds a bit of adventure, but also increases the CBF factor. One of the most draining things ever to confront a cyclist is having to get off a plane and unpack your bike and go riding straight away, but I guess I'll just have to suck it up! So providing I can get Internet down in Hobart I hope to have some good stories of of pain and suffering.

Speaking of pain and suffering, this is a favourite of mine from Arnaud:

Arnaud is not the kind of Masseus to start causing you all sorts of grief in all sorts of places then to have the nerve to stand there and patronisingly say

"Relaaaax, just let the muscle relaaaaax"

"I CAN'T EFFIN RELAX YOU'VE GOT YOUR ELBOW JAMMED THREE FOOT UP MY @RSE! HOW THE F*** DO YOU EXPECT ME TO RELAX!!!!"

No, Arnaud is a forward thinker, he is pretty aware of human reflexes; when he starts gettin' in there people usually start jumping and flailing and screaming and crying; unless you are Scott Morrison who apparently has no feelings at all ;-) .

But for Arnaud, no problem, just strap the poor bugger to the table. He ain't goin nowhere!

From the mainland, and soon to be on the Southland,

Bye for now!

Jono

And also

2011-02-05T11:22:00.001+11:00

If any readers are on facebook you can follow the Genesys team here

We are getting photos from all the races uploaded so you can stalk away

More importantly part of the reasoning behind Genesys Wealth Advisors support of our team is to use it as a vehicle to continue their support of the children first foundation

As such from time to time we will have charity rides that everyone is encouraged to come along and participate in. And wouldn't you know it there is one in a fortnights time!

The basic info is ripped from here

Join us and ride with members of the Genesys Pro Cycling team, while raising much needed funds for Moira Kelly's Children First Foundation.

The ride will leave from the Children First Foundation House in North Melbourne, and finish at Ievers Reserve, Flemington Road, Parkville.

Date: Saturday 19 February
Time: Registration from 12.30 pm at CFF House, 66 Chapman Street, North Melbourne
Ride starts at 1 pm

Length: 75 km approximately

Registration: $40 per rider donated to Children First Foundation. Registration fee is payable on the day in cash.

Enter now for your chance to win fabulous prizes, including team jerseys and cycling gear!

North Melbourne Rotary will be on hand with a sausage sizzle following the ride.

Hope to see you all there!

Jono

EDIT- There is also a ride running a week earlier for anyone in Perth, info here

The Spin Room

2011-02-04T11:40:00.000+11:00

Back when the old man and I were getting serious about cycling we made the habit of going along to a weekly spin class at the Fitzroy Pool. The thing most people find with spin classes are that it all hinges on the quality of instructor. Down at Fitzroy we had one hell of an instructor!

James was fantastic, every class would be a bit different from the last and he had the ability to get everyone excited about smashing themselves on a stationary bike for an hour, which is by no means an easy task. From wisely chosen motivational phrases to all out abusive screaming he always got the best out of us, my favourite tactic being the bucket being placed in front of you and then being told unless you vomit into the bucket then you didn't go hard enough! I never chundered. Guess I am just a soft cock.

Well a couple of days ago I got to go and check out a new spin/ergo class of sorts and the new Spin Room that has recently opened in North Fitzroy, just opposite Crino Cycles.

The staggering thing about this place is they have 31 new Wattbikes ready for use. They have a decent mix of pedals but I'd ring ahead or bring your own just in case when you come but other than that just jump on and you are ready to go.

This was my first time on a Wattbike and it was certainly a bit of fun. One key aspect of the Wattbike is that it can measure left vs right leg power and calculates your 'pedal print' over the full 360 degrees of the pedal stroke. The benefits of trying to alter this and make your pedal stroke more 'efficient' are a certainly debatable and in the eyes of many coaches a complete red herring. Regardless of that it is interesting and does provide some more interest to otherwise boring as bat shit stationary cycling, so take from it what you will. Get down there one day and try em out.

Thanks to Sam and Sarah from the Spin Room for letting me have a crack on the Watt Bike. Any more rainy days like today and I'll have no choice but to go more often...

Cheers,

Jono

Choice as Bro

2011-02-02T18:22:00.000+11:00

Tour of Wellington was, as stated above, rather choice. A quick summary for the team would be:

-Steele Von Hoff 4th in stage 1
-Nathan Earle 1st in stage 2 (!)
-Nathan Earle 1st in stage 3 (!!!!)
-Nathan Earle 1st in stage 4 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
-Nathan Earle 2nd in stage 5
-2nd on Teams GC
-The award of 'Most Aggressive Rider for the Tour' simply made up after the final stage and awarded to Nathan Earle

For anyone watching the Giro last year wondering who that obscure Tassie Devil called Ritchie Porte was, well you may be thinking the same thing in a few years time. When Ritchie pulled out some amazing rides on the domestic circuit a few years back many guys where thinking it was only a matter of time. Well for Nearle, I think it is now only a matter of time! (And now I have built him up so much, he can only disappoint, in fact we can cut him down in classic tall poppy fashion) He is off to Italy to race for one of Ritchie's previous amateur teams in March so fingers crossed that we can all follow his exploits.

But aside from working hard for Nearle and Steele during the race, we made sure to devote the remainder of our time to letting team mate Matt and physio Hayden (who both happen to be Kiwis) know exactly what we thought of their hilarious accent.

"Oh boy that's a wee crut circuit right there"

"A what?!?!"

"You know, a crut, a cruterium!"

"Ooohhh a crit! I get ya"

And so on. We certainly took the puss

And to funish off, a few wee puctures bro

The secret to a hat trick of UCI stage wins

Nearle re-aligning his Shakra

Malvern Star bikes also become very useful clothes lines

Mechanics can turn anything into a work stand

Pat Lane, Nathan Earle, Lachie Norris and stage winner Westley Gough riding away in the Wellington stage 5 Cruterium

Also I am happy to say I blatently stole these photos from Steele's facebook page and didn't ask Nearle's permission to post such bizare photos of him. But hey, what are friends for?

Jono

Business at the Front, Party at the Back

2011-01-16T11:33:00.001+11:00

Pure Class

So stingyness, laziness, humour and the need to do something attention grabbing combined and resulted in my awesome mullet. My in depth search (read: 5 minutes) for somewhere to get a cheap clipper cut on Friday before our U23 national road race the next day left me high and dry in terms of options. Given the last time I had cut my hair was a clean shave before Tour of Thailand back in late March 2010, I had to shed the main before racing the next day. I mean, what's the point of vents in your helmet when you have hair sticking out of every one? Not only do you look like an echidna, but you sweat up a storm.

So, no problem, what a good team bonding session it would be (also free); to get someone to shave my hair for me. When some of the boys returned with a pair of ten dollar clippers I started to get a bit concerned. Would I be bonding or bleeding?

These things did not cut. The pulled, pried, pushed and poked. But they did not cut. It was like a Chinese burn to the scalp. The bluntness of these clippers would be comparable to being stabbed with a rolling pin. The scissors that came with the clippers were on a whole new scale of bluntness: they wouldn't cut a piece of cooked spaghetti let alone my hair. I'd have more chanced of chewing through a brick...

Plan B: we'll have to use the small old scissors I bring to cut up fixomull (wound care dressing). So it was Will Clarke who grabbed the little blades and sliced away. I reckon he did a top job.

The first cut, but not the last cut

Even more amusing that the resulting mullet were the hairballs being coughed up by Nath and Kane who decided to eat their spag boll downwind of the shearing that ensued. There was a lot of hair.

I tried to up the ante by telling Nathan Haas if he won the U23 TT I would keep the mullet untill we finished the Tour of Wellington in a few weeks. He made it plain and clear that it was just obvious I really liked the mullet and needed an excuse to keep it. Am I really that transparent? Shit.

At the recent Melbourne track world cup I saw that Shane Archbold's mullet (supposedly resulting from a bet/dare) has grown from Franga to Moe to Eastern European block proportions (!!!) I thought it would be best to shed the mud guard before it got out of hand. I also felt sorry for the poor kiwi soigneur we witnessed having to tuck his mullet into the 'aero' section of his aero helmet before racing the kilo TT!

Stolen from here

So I am now back to my good old skinhead ways. But I got the length just right this time, because I am not getting sunburnt through the helmet, but nonetheless still enjoying the ventilation offered to full effect. I think my IQ may have regained a few points too.

Till next time,

Jono

PS- still working on the layout. Bear with me!

Why God, Why???

2011-01-06T09:41:00.001+11:00

Do I ever race at the Kew crit circuit!

What a bastard of a course. After racing there for nearly 3 years straight it became apparant to me last night why I haven't raced there for a good 3 years. And the race, well, only 9 starters, 3 or 4 riders were clearly the strongest. But it was (I Hate) Shane Miller who came out on top just pipping Drapac's new Dutch import. First race in a few months will always hurt. But hey, why not make it as bad as possible by racing on the hardest crit circuit in Melbourne on a windy arvo?!

Next up is the under 23 national road race on saturday where I will get to meet the new team, hang out and generally suffer. Easy.

Then the real pain will begin in three weeks with the Tour of Wellington. Decent start list!

Now the blatant sponsor plug ( even though I haven't updated my links yet!) comes in me bragging about my Malvern Star Oppy. I like it. That's it. Plug over. Not really a plug because I do actually like it. Everyone likes new bikes right?

Pre race enthusiasm (Thanks Von!)

Got a nice pilates class coming up, wish me luck!

Ciao

Time for a change

2010-12-26T20:26:00.000+11:00

Well the last couple of months I have been mulling over what would be best for next year.

Given I am tired and can't think of anything highly creative/amusing it's just a plain ol delivery of facts:

1) Finish Bachelor of Commerce next year. Back to full time. Time to get organised again. If I don't buckle down and finish it I never will!

2) Race for an aussie team. In the end this meant trading up what gave me the best opportunities but in the end I decided to leave the Victorian Institute of Sport and race for Genesys Wealth Advisors

So 2011 brings continued gym, physio and pilates work, a whole load of Economics and Management study and a bunch of racing in Australia and Asia with a new team and a bunch of great guys. Can't wait.

Ciao,

Jono

The Dumplings the Czech and the V Train

2010-12-05T10:55:00.000+11:00

Situation:
Friday Night, Preston, 6:00pm, Face deep in pig livers and soup dumplings; Cam Woolcock recieves a phone call.
"It's Sir Stuart Vaughan, he has two spare tickets to the track world cup tonight"
"Shit yes!"

So after hoovering our food in record fashion we saddled up and raced down high street and punt road to see the last two hours of track racing.

A summary:
-Elimination races are hilarious to watch. It's like a pantomime on wheels, so much fun. We need more!
-Anna Meares is huge and muscly. Pretty amazing athlete!
-Chris Hoy is even huger and muscly-er. Terrifying almost.
-Not a massive crowd, maybe the ticket prices were a touch steep? No infield bar? Hell, the Melbourne Cup on Wheels on Friday has my vote, more racing AND the infield bar. Nice.

So fast forward twenty four hours and I am cruising down beach road at midday and I see a guy kitted up in the Czech Republic colours with calves bigger than my head (ego included), oh shit, he must be a trackie! And yep, he was racing the night before so a convo ensued;

Czech- " Oh hi, you race much at all, I see you have Belgique bike" (reference to my Museeuw bike)
Me- "Oh yeah but just on the road, not on the track, you race track yeh?
Czech- "Yeh I racing the World Cup on the Track, you know it"
Me- "Of course, I was watching you finish the omnium last night, making you race the kilo TT when aleady out of the medals is cruel, that looked so hard!"
Czech- "Oh its very shit, so f**king hard, I want it over"

skip some boring convo

Czech- "Oh I see your team, Marco Polo, you know Pavel Stuchlik from Czech Republic?" (Pavel was a stagiare with our team this year, having lived with him for a month you could say I know him!)
Me- "Yes of course I know him!"
Czech- "*laughter* In Czech Republic we all one big family, everyone friend"

And we jabbered on some more, enjoying the sun and warm weather. His program sounds a bit bloody strenuous. 27 hours flying down to Australia, racing two days later, finish two days of non stop omni-liscious circular agony then jump back on the plane for 27 hours to the Czech Republic. Train outdoors* in the Snow for a week, then jump on the plane for a good 30 hours of travel to the next World Cup in Columbia. Try telling this guy that globalisation of cycling is a good thing!

*Note, I asked him about training indoors versus outdoors in winter and he said, "I train outdoors all the time unless really snow, I f**king hate, how do you say, yes ergometer, argh, so shit." I concur my good man, I concur.

But I love in this network how someone always knows someone who knows someone else who knows you. I guess we are just one big family. Group hug anyone?

And to finish a big thanks to the V-Train for those tickets. What a legend, the guy never stops giving (also turn off your sarcasm meter because I am being serious here). And his even better half, Wiki-Tills*, was there of course.

*Matilda can hereby be known as Wiki-Tills because she knows everything about the track. Everything!

Ride Time.

Ciao,

Jono

I am of the very strong opinion that..

2010-11-30T20:03:00.000+11:00

..Mandatory Helmet Laws in Australia are shit. Really Shit. This man outlines exactly why

And whilst I'm throwing links about the place. This also looks freakin awesome. Maybe us roadies are a little uptight, maybe we should all go do something like that once in a while!

Tis all for now I am afraid. Nothing new yet, still getting massive in the gym and smashing back pilates like there is no tomorrow..

Jono

Happy Feet

2010-11-21T13:04:00.002+11:00

I am afraid my writing material has dried up of late.

All things interesting and funny have deserted my life as I have been just putting the building blocks together for a good 2011.

-Pilates, lots of pilates. With ballet dancers. Holy crap, these guys/gals are STRONG! And talk about flexible. I'm pretty jealous.

-Physio exercises, oh so many exercises, my feet, calves, glutes and pelvic floor are getting one hell of a work out. Thera-bands, spiky balls, cricket balls, toe separators, foam rollers, thoracic extensions, you name it; I've got it. I'm getting needles in the arse, elbows in the arse, yes I am basically paying a lot of $/hr to get a whole bunch of disturbing and quite uncomfortable things done to my arse. What an odd life I lead...

-Gym, I am building up some semblance of hip stability so I can ride ride ride in the future and not have any issues. Squats, dead lifts, step ups, leg press, balancing on the wobble board! You don't need to be very strong to ride a bike, but you do need to be stronger than me, trust me!

So take the above three activities, repeat them many times during a weekly cycle, add in cycling to and from plus some cruisey rides and somehow I am still doing 20 hours + a week but it feels like I am doing nothing. Unless I come off the bike, exhausted and on the verge of muscle break down it just doesn't feel like I am 'training'. But these are the steps I have to take!

Mind you I wouldn't mind going for a decent ride!

So I'll continue the hunt for some funny material but for the time being I'll leave you with a note of a good experience at our last race in Belgium.

The race was a Pro Kermesse in Geraardsbergen that was up a hill, down around the hill and back up. 10 k laps, coupla k of climbing through the town on a nice bumpy cobbled road. It was cool. Real cool. There were loads of fans and top level bike riders there. Mr McEwen was the biggest rider of note.

Given my aforemetioned foot problems I did not last long. So plan B involved sampling the local tart (of the cake variety) and grabbing a coffee. As I was sitting in one of the cafes I noticed Allan Peiper walk in (which made sense given HTC had a few riders in the race). He must be one of the most recognisable people in world cycling.

I was feeling a bit sheepish and he was with a whole bunch of people so I didn't go over and say hello. That night I was discussing it with someone on facebook who was back in aus. Anyhow, this guy shoots and email off to Allan Peiper telling him that some random Melbourne kid saw him in a cafe at the race. Allan shoots back an email to me straight away saying

"Hi Jono,

Should have said hello but nice you respect people's space!

Where are you living? Maybe we can hook up for a ride or coffee next week.

Allan

Sent from my HTC"

A pity but I had to fly home so couldn't go for a ride with him. Damn. But that email made my day. Don't you love the internet sometimes!

Time for some glut activation...

Jono

On Top of the Worlds

2010-10-09T09:35:00.002+11:00

A nice crappy phone photo of the crowd at the presentation for the mens road race.

Another view looking back down the main straight. But yeh, what a goddam awesome race. The finale was damn exciting and I have never seen Geelong looking so good. Geelong was like that girl everyone knows who isn't ugly, but isn't gorgeous either, but once in a while she dons some spectacular outfit, whacks on a bit of make up and goes out. Meanwhile everyone is standing around whispering "Is that really Geelong? Crikey I reckon I'll have a crack"*

*The above may come across as highly rude and sexist but that's because it is. Sorry, but it really is the best analogy I can come up with! Please forgive me

So it's been a while between drinks I guess. I have managed to drag my arse out from the piles of microeconomic and econometric practice exams that litter my room/desk/general designated study areas and jump on the net and make a post. Just because there are study materials strewn thoughout my house does not mean I am actually studying, no I am merely convincing myself that the process of printing then stapling practice exams is good enough, actually doing any is a whole new ball game

So from my last post lots of things have happened,

-Finished my time in Europe- Good because I got to come home. Bad because I had to leave Europe

-Did not go to Tour of China- Good because I was having some real issues with my right foot. Bad because I love racing in Asia and I love eating in Asia

-Watched the Worlds in Geelong- Good because it was just freakin awesome. Bad because I had my two exams in the two days following the elite mens race. Great scheduling there.

-Did a couple of exams- Good they are out of the way. Bad because I think I did pretty shit. Blunt, but honest!

- Started watching the Commonwealth Games- just bad.

-Doing tremendously large amounts of rehab work on my foot and some pelvic stability work just for laughs also. Good because having all the muscles in the arches of both feet all cramp at once is pretty damn cool. Bad because having all the muscles in the arches of both feet all cramp at once is pretty damn painful.

-Not going to Tour of Hainan- Good because since starting to race again I haven't given myself adequate time to get all my shit sorted re-body weaknesses, mainly my foot. Bad because of the food, the racing and in Hainan last year we were lucky enough to stay in some amazingly good hotels, I would like to go back, but it wouldn't be wise

I capped my trip with some great times in Amsterdam with a friend from school, so that was a good way to go out. I would just like to go back there with some more time, and some more money! Yes in Amsterdam you can definitely buy happiness...

Jono

Murphy's Law

2010-08-27T01:55:00.004+10:00

Murphy is a bastard. Whoever he is, whatever he did, he sure messed it up for the rest of us.

It was a crap day today, lots of drizzle and a genuine bathtub full of filth had made it's way from the road to my bike and clothing. I was a mud-bath moving at 35 k/h.

About an hour from home my pump did a runner from my back pocket. I hit a bump and heard it bouncing down the road behind me. So a quick U-turn and I found that the nozzle had come apart and the spring and washer from the inside were missing. Oh crap.

This road, like the many I had previously travelled over, was of the filthy variety, thus my task in finding and rebuilding my pump was beyond simple. Fast forward ten minutes and not only had I exhausted every swear word I knew (multi-lingual too..) but magically I had found the pieces to my pump, I was away.

So you can imagine during my search I had it in the back of my mind that I could not possibly go without finding the pieces because I would surely puncture.

So I almost smirked with victory when only 5k down the road I heard that familiar hissing sound. My tire was deflated, but I was almost elated, take that Murphy you bastard, I found all the pieces of my pump, this puncture will not stop me!

So apart from getting more grease and grim all over my hands changing the tubes and cleaning off the tyres I waited triumphantly to pump that first breath of air into the new tube. ...

Nothing.

The pump was not creating a seal. Oh crap.

I must have missed a piece on the roadside. Oh crap.

To re-use a great phrase I currently found myself sans paddle and slowly drifting up shit creek. That prick Murphy had me right where he wanted me.

After the second exhaustion of my multi-lingual swear words I had the realisation that I am in fact a complete idiot. The little 'thingamajig' from the inside of the pump was in the wrong way round.

Five minutes later I was on my way.

Lessons learned: Murhpy is a bastard and I am an idiot! Hardly ground breaking I guess.

Over the last week and a half I have had some monster races. 1.2 and 1.1 UCI races in Belgium, it just doesn't get any bigger, any harder or any scarier.

Unfortunately I have been nothing more than pack fodder, never lasting more than half the race. I have been having some real problems with my back and foot stemming from my crash last year. I seemed to have held together until Qinghai lake but now the wheels have completely fallen off the wagon. As a result I am bypassing Tour of China so I can get home and back into some of the rehab exercises and gym work that I obviously did not do enough of previously. Also I have these piddly little things called exams that I should probably (start) study(ing) for. So an extra fortnight of study whilst back home should go a long way.

So that's just about everything, and like they do in Holland, make sure that you

Ciao

Jono