“Love keeps no record of wrongs.” – 1 Corinthians 13:5 paraphrase

How does this verse apply to everyday life?

Hidden Scoreboards

Keeping score is easy. Keeping score in relationships is even easier.

You may not realize this, but you have an internal scoreboard. We all do. It doesn’t have LED lights or advertisements on it. But it’s there, hidden in our heart.

And this scoreboard doesn’t keep track of touchdowns or goals. It keeps track of relationships.

Every time we do something nice for someone, we subconsciously add points to our side. Every time we sacrifice for someone, our point total rises.

On the flip side, every time we feel mistreated, we subtract points from their side. When others say unkind words, or fail to meet our needs, their score drops.

And the funny thing is, our score is almost always higher than theirs. We always feel like we treat others better than we get treated. Our score is higher. So we win. But in winning, we lose.

Turning Off the Scoreboard

“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?” – Matthew 18:21

Peter wants to know when the game is over. Seven to nothing is a skunk, right Jesus?

Jesus reaches over and unplugs Peter’s scoreboard:

“Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” – Matthew 18:22

Love doesn’t keep score, Peter. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love gives, even when it’s not deserved. Love lets hurts go. Love covers a multitude of sins.

If you’re going to have successful relationships, you’re going to have to unplug the scoreboard.

After all, you’re not the first person to unplug it. See John 3:16.

What helps you keep your scoreboard unplugged? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

How does this verse apply to everyday life?

You are either a Starbucks person, or you are not. There is no in-between.

The thought of paying five dollars for a cup of coffee either makes you shudder in horror, or smile with delight.

I am not a Starbucks person.

Nevertheless, I often find myself standing in a Starbucks while my friends order drinks.

Have you ever listened to people order at Starbucks? It’s fascinating.

And here’s something I’ve noticed: they never walk up to the counter and say, “I’m thirsty.”

In fact, they have their own language. And it usually sounds like this: “Hi, I’d like a tall, half-skinny, half-1 percent, extra hot, split quad shot (two shots decaf, two shots regular), latte, double-blended, with whip.”

Huh?

I’m exhausted and need a nap after just listening to that.

But the barista doesn’t even bat an eye. They serve it right up.

Sometimes we can learn spiritual lessons from the most simple things around us. And I wonder if my prayer life couldn’t take a page out of the Starbucks-ordering playbook. Because I’m beginning to realize that when I pray, I often just tell God, “I’m thirsty.” Without realizing it, I’m not actually asking for anything, I’m just stating needs.

When we take up prayer requests in a group or at church, we often do the same thing:

• “Suzy is sick.”
• “John lost his job.”
• “Ann is having surgery tomorrow.”

Those “requests” aren’t actually asking for anything, they’re just stating needs. Would it be more powerful and profitable if we rephrased them as actual requests?

• “Let’s ask God to take away Suzy’s fever.”
• “Let’s pray God will provide a new job for John this week.”
• “Let’s ask God to anoint the doctors performing Ann’s surgery, and pray that God will give her peace through it.”

See the difference? I think God may not answer my prayers sometimes because I’m not actually praying for anything.

You have not because you ask not.

Would you join me in purposing to be more specific in our prayers? Who knows what God will do in response!

Are you like me? Are you guilty of bland, generic statements in your prayers instead of specific requests? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. – Proverbs 25:11

Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it. – Proverbs 3:27

How do these verses apply to everyday life?

I sat around a table recently with some close friends. We started with the person at the end of the table, and one by one, went around the table and said what we appreciated about that person.

We commented on the qualities we admired, the things they were good at, and what we loved most about them.
Then we moved to the next person, and all went around the table talking about them. Then the next person, and so on.

It was powerful. We laughed and joked a lot. But we mostly cried. Tears began to flow as we talked about the difference we had made in each others lives, and how much we appreciated and loved one another.

As I reflected on it later, I was awed again with how powerful praise is. I already knew that. But I guess I had forgotten. Here’s what that time around the table reminded me of:

1. Graciously accepting praise is difficult. - For some reason, I find it very difficult to accept praise, even though I love receiving it. I instinctively change the subject, make a joke, or say something like, “Oh, it wasn’t that big a deal.” I have learned the best thing to do is simply smile and offer a heartfelt and simple, “Thank you.”

2. Being praised for something makes me want to do it more. - Every single one of us loves affirmation. When the boss compliments us on the way we treated a customer, we make sure and treat them that way next time, too. When the wife gives us sincere praise for taking out the trash, we are much quicker to pick it up next time. And when the husband tells us how beautiful we look in that dress, we are going to wear it again soon. Praise is almost a self-fulfilling prophecy.

3. Praising someone makes them feel good. - Praise simply lifts our spirits. It was so fun to watch each one around the table soaking in the praise. There’s just something beautiful about words of affirmation.

4. Praising someone makes ME feel good. - Giving praise is actually…fun! The best way to make your day better is to make someone else’s day better.

5. People notice more than you think. - The compliments around the table weren’t generic and bland. They were specific. People remembered things I didn’t even think they had noticed. To improve your praise, try being more specific.

6. Sometimes you forget how much you love someone until you focus on them and express it. - I can’t add anything to this point. Just go back and read it again. It’s important.

7. Everyone has something worthy of praise. - It was not a struggle at all to find something to compliment in each person around the table. In fact, we had to limit our time, because we could each go on forever.

Take a moment today to text someone you love. Compliment your coworkers. Tell your spouse how awesome they are.

It will make their day better. And you’ll be surprised to find it makes your day better, too.

I was traveling on business awhile back, and had worked a long day. I was too tired to go eat anywhere, so I just picked up some dinner and took to my hotel room. After getting settled in, I realized I didn’t have anything to drink. I wandered up and down the hotel hallway until I found the vending machine… only to discover it was out of order. So I hopped in the elevator and went up a floor…only to discover the vending machine on that floor didn’t have the one thing I wanted.

With a sigh, I got back on the elevator and went down two floors. Thankfully, this one was working and well-stocked. But when I went to buy a drink, I discovered I hadn’t brought enough money.

Have you ever had one of those days?

Here’s why I bring it up: I only go to a vending machine when I need something. I’ve never gone to a vending machine when I wasn’t thirsty. I’ve never scoured hotel hallways just to check them and and look them over. I only interact with them when I want something.

Imagine a young man telling a young lady on their first date that he wants to swing by the laundry mat and watch her do a couple of loads. Then, if she could be so kind as to demonstrate her ironing and cooking skills. After all, he needs someone with those skills.

That’s not a date, that’s a job interview! There’s no love or romance there. He’s treating her like a vending machine.

But you know what? I think I treat God like that most of the time.

Every time I run to Him, it’s when I need something. Every time I interact with Him, I usually want something. Most of my prayers are need-oriented.

How about you? Is God nothing more than a vending machine to you?

Do you ever run to God…when you don’t need something? Do you ever spend time in prayer…without asking for stuff? Do you ever just bask in His presence…tell Him how you’re feeling…or thank Him for who He is?

More often than I’d care to admit:

• I do my best praying when I have a desperate need.
• I trust God fully, only when He removes all the other things in my life I tend to depend on.
• I rarely seek God with my whole heart when everything is going well.

When I do those things, I’m treating God like a vending machine.

But when God describes His relationship to us in the Bible, He doesn’t use the words “vending machine.” He uses the words: love, and marriage. Those two words and the concepts they represent are the closest our little minds can get to understanding how God feels about us.

Let’s not allow our relationship with God to become a need-oriented interaction with a vending machine. Let’s rediscover a passionate love relationship with the One who cares more about us than we will ever be able to comprehend.

Take some time today to pray without asking for anything. Take a moment to think about how incredibly in love with you God is. You are His bride, and He is passionate about you.

In the aftermath of the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001, amazing stories began to surface about life-saving inconveniences.

Once man survived because his son started kindergarten that day.

Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts.

One woman was late because her alarm clock didn’t go off in time.

One was late because of being stuck on the New Jersey Turnpike due to an auto accident.

One man missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.

One’s car wouldn’t start.

One couldn’t find a taxi.

Another guy put on a new pair of shoes that morning. On his way to work, he developed a blister on his foot. What an inconvenience! He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid and that’s why he’s alive today.

So when you’re stuck in traffic, miss an elevator, turn back to answer a ringing telephone, or encounter any of the other little things that annoy you, stop and remind yourself, This is exactly where God wants me to be at this very moment.

And the next time your morning seems to be going wrong, the children are slow getting dressed, you can’t seem to find the car keys, or you hit every traffic light, don’t get mad or frustrated. It may just be that God is at work watching over you.

Let’s not be so quick to label inconveniences as bad. Let’s not be so quick to dread flat tires, sick days, bad news, and schedule changes. In His great love, God might just be shielding us. And chances are, they’re not burdens at all. They’re blessings in disguise.

May God continue to bless us with all those annoying little things. And may we remember their possible purpose.