A Thousand Miles...The First Steps!

I KNOW...I Need to get Back to Blogging

2013-05-03T11:40:00.001-05:00

I will be back SOON!

Life is happening!

So much to share!

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

Image via

A New Season...A New Look.

2013-04-08T09:57:00.000-05:00

Hi 1000Milers, I hope you had a wonderful weekend.

I was on the Potomac with a few friends on Saturday, and it was too cold for all of that. LOL! We had plans to go see the Cherry Blossom after we got off the boat, but I deserted the group and went home instead. Too cold for me. :)

I might not have fulfilled the "Explore DC -See the Cherry Blossoms" part of my spring list this weekend, but I got a new hairstyle, and I am loving it. Straight hair is very unusual for me, but I like it and plan to do it more often, though I have no plans to abandon or permanently straighten my curls.

What do you think of my new look?

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

Bucket List: Visit a Spa for a Whole Day

2013-03-26T14:24:00.000-05:00

I have a bucket list, and I'm VERY SLOWLY crossing items off of it. I truly believe I'm blessed with a beautiful life, and I want to live it to the full - living, serving, exploring, resting and rejoicing. Jesus came that "We might have life and have it abundantly," I have life in Christ, and I want to live that life to its full. I hate to get to the end of my life and realize I have lived on the sidelines all by myself doing little and next to nothing for myself or for anyone.

I believe in adventure, I believe in adrenaline and I'm a person willing to try most things at least once. My bucket list is chucked full with action-packed and adrenaline-provoking activities, but you will find a few relaxing activities on my bucket list. This past weekend, I indulged in one of those relaxing activities; I went to Spa World - a Korean spa in Virginia with three girlfriends. It was simply bliss.

One of my girlfriends recently had a baby, and we felt a day out without the baby would be a good thing for her. Last Saturday, after she got a mani/pedi in the morning, we left her little gorgeousness with his father and headed out to Spa World. It was the most relaxing day of my year thus far. I was a bit skeptical, because just like a bath-house,you have to be naked in the wet areas (separated by gender). However, I am one for trying new things, and WHY NOT? Right? In addition, after we got there and stripped, no one seem to pay attention. After a few shocking moments, I settled into have a relaxing adventure.

The most interesting part of the entire 10 hours we spent at the spa was the body scrub. I laid on the scrub bed in my birthday suit gorgeousness, and I could feel things falling off of me as the lady scrubbed me down. I opened my eyes, and was shocked at the gunk falling around me. Ewwwww! I'm still struggling to accept the nastiness I beheld was from my skin and even after I asked a couple of people and they said yep, you were been scrubbed clean and that was all you. I'm still struggling. EWWWWW!

My two favorite parts of the day was watching my new-mother-friend been very happy and relaxed, and talking with my girlfriends about everything under the sun. Good things are happening for my girls, and I am glad I'm able to be a part of it and be blessed by it all. I love my friends. One of my 2013 intentions is to strengthen my friendships and to be better friend. I am slowly working through some issues in my heart regarding my friendships, but overall, my intention to be a better friend will be a continuous process in my life.

I am glad I got over my nervous excitement and chose to go to Spa World. I plan to go back with my mother and sister soon, and maybe take another girlfriend for her birthday. I'm mostly pleased that one item is hereby crossed off my bucket list. #bliss

Have you been to a Korean-styled spa; did you like the experience?

Or would you go to a Korean-styled spa?

PS: Whoever chose the the orange prison color for the Spa World scrubs was on drugs. It is so bright, it is blinding. That's the only reason I look sad. Everyone in the dry area had to wear it. Ick!

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

RIP Chinua Achebe!

2013-03-22T10:35:00.002-05:00

My heart sunk when I heard the news this morning. He is a genius and will be missed.

It is a consoling thing that he left a mark; he walked a good and memorable journey.

I am more inspired to re-read his books this year. He is a constant on my 2012 and 2013 Reading List. :(

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

Image via

Around Here Lately // Spring is Here

2013-03-22T10:25:00.001-05:00

Today, I'm on Elembee alongside other fabulous bloggers talking about our love for DC and several must sees.

It does not feel like it, but Spring is here.

I'm at the point of good riddance to Winter, BUT I'm nervous to step into allergies and DC humidity. Oh well, I can't always get my way. Regardless of the arrival of allergy season, it is still spring and a season of newness. I plan to enjoy everyday of warmer weather and flowers, and also wear floral dresses like the one I have on in the image above. Oh, spring nail colors are back in style. :)

I made a Spring To-Do List; it is an extension of my 2013 Love To-Do List*.

Explore DC *

See the Cherry Blossoms this year and participate in the festival (I have lived in DC for 5 years, but I never took the time to see the cherries blossom) Sad, innit? One of my 2013 intentions is to get to know DC better and enjoy what it has to offer. Here I go!

Get a full weave *

I'm still struggling with this intention. I made an appointment already, but I go back and forth on if I really want to get a weave and if I can afford to at this point. It is a good protective style that keeps my hands (less MANIPULATION) off my hair for at least a month, I have been dying to get a full weave with bangs for years, and I want to get it over with before the Summer humidity comes through. So why am I hesitating? It must be because it is a huge change and endeavor for me. All the more reason to do it!

Join a writer's club or group *

I need a community to help weave through the thoughts in my head, for support and to keep me accountable. This should be fun too.

Take a road trip to NC * (Tentative)

On my intention list is to Travel! Travel! Travel! However, I had San Diego and New Orleans(Essence Music Festival) on my list this year. The former is still doable, but I'm reconsidering the latter because of the heat. I don't do hot summers well; I was in Vegas for 4th of July a few years back, and I almost passed out (literally) even with constant water slugging. I had to call my airline to check if could get on an earlier flight out of that hell. New Orleans might be better in the Fall or Winter. There is a possible trip to North Carolina simmering, and I am jumping at the opportunity, if all goes well.

Take a class or join a league

Ideas on my mind are a writing class and/or a amateur rock climbing league.

Start volunteering *

Where? I don't know yet!

Cajole my mother to help with some alterations

I succeeded with three maxi dresses yesterday. :) There is much more STUFF where those came from, she has no idea. Lol

Watch Season one of Deception.

My sister would not shut up about it, and I decided to give it a try this Spring.

Do you have special plans for the Spring?

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

What Keeps me up at Night, but does not Leave me Grumpy??

2013-03-21T13:10:00.002-05:00

If I'm to give myself a grade on how well I am doing on each item on my 2013 Love -to -dos list, I'll get an A++++ in one intention: Read! Read! Read! I have been reading a lot, and it keeps me up at night. When insomnia kicks in each month, I read. I believe reactivating my library card (an intention under Read! Read! Read!) made all the difference.

However, I'm going through books faster than I can review them, and reviewing each book at this time is overwhelming. I did share a list of books I had read in January. I hope I can go back to posting full reviews of all the wonderful books I am reading.For now, I will stick to a sentence, two sentences or a paragraph. :)

The Officer's Bride by Lara Daniels
I enjoyed reading Lara Daniels' new novella. She took readers through the day and minds of lovers, Eddy and Nafisha, as they face uncertain circumstances. Eddy is in the Nigerian Army, and he has a new and dangerous mission to assassinate the military dictator head of state. The plot is set in the nineties during the tyrannical and violent reign of Abacha. I was very satisfied with this piece of work; this is the second book I am reading written by Daniels - the first was Love in Paradise and each one met expectations. I am looking forward to reading her other books. Love at Dawn is on my 2013 Reading List.

A Millions Miles in a Thousand Years by Don Miller
A breath of fresh air! It started out a bit weird, but I have heard a lot of good things about it. I stuck with it, and I'm super glad I did. This book is not preachy, but it made me think. It does not necessarily light a fire under my butt, but it makes me more aware of my life. It made me yearn for an epic story in my journey of a thousand miles. It made me aware of the mini stories God is writing through me and how they each contribute to the bigger picture. It made me want to de-clutter my life to its bare essence and live that out. I will recommend this book to friends over and over again.

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
If Miller makes me de-clutter my life, Rubin makes me de-clutter my home, my closet, my bathroom cabinets, under my sink and everything in between. The March book for The No Commitment Blogger Book Club hosted by My Pretty Pennies is Happier at Home also written by Rubin. I had to read The Happiness Project before Happier at Home (I'm anal). It provided practical ideas in addition to a few "whatever" moments. The greatest lesson I took from the book is one of her Adulthood Commandments "Be Gretchen." For me, it is "Be AdeOla." Lately, I have had a silent intention to pay close attention to me, what is me, what I enjoy and what makes me happy. And true to Rubin, I am much happier when I am doing what I love to do, not what I want to love to do. Writing and event planning rather than planning and evaluating public health programs. Reading at home more instead of heading out more. Experiences instead of things. More relationships instead of more intellect. This is me, and I made the firm resolve to "Be AdeOla." However, I realized been me meant I am willing to try most things at least once. I hope to read Happier at Home soon.

The Hunger Game and Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins (2013 Reading List)
What else is left to say? I LOVE it. I like Collin's writing style. Each book left me breathless and yearning for more. Imagination is a gift, Collins has it and uses it excellently. I had no idea what to expect with every turn of the page, but she never failed to deliver. I started Mocking Jay today, and all I can say is #bliss.

Have you read any of the books above? What do you think?

What are you currently reading?

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

I dropped the ball & it did not land on my foot...

2013-03-20T10:54:00.001-05:00

Have you been to an Asian-styled spa? Any tips?
My girlfriends and I are going to Spa World on Saturday. I'm not sure what to expect, but I'm nervously excited. We HAVE to be naked in the wet areas (separated by gender)...so intense. One of the item on my bucket list and my 30 before 30 list is "Visit a spa for a day," and Saturday is that day. #bliss.

Moving on to today's topic. I have a confession.
JostWrite has been simmering on a back burner since November 2012. Running a small business is A LOT of work and pain and joy and tears. I needed a break, and getting a job gave me a reason to push writing and JostWrite to the side for a little bit. It was both an intentional and unintentional decision. Let me explain.

The last time I worked on a writing project was in January, but I stopped active work on JostWrite in November. I started my now not-so-new job and also started planning a big weekend retreat for my church last November. I knew I could not juggle all three obligations at once - I could not work, write, recruit new clients and plan this event with the level of excellent they all deserve. Wisdom called for a change, and I let it take the lead.

I focused on work and the retreat, and took a much needed break from JostWrite ( I could not do that prior to November). However, I had writing projects I needed to complete. I was also aware that if I held off from recruiting new clients, some old clients might have projects or send me referrals. I decided to work on pending assignments and only accept new projects as they come calling. Fortunately, I got two clients (old and new) between November and January when I completed my last writing work.

This allowed me to throw myself wholeheartedly into my work and into planning the retreat. I also took a break from blogging in January, hence my silence. :) I thought less about JostWrite though it was ever so often hovering at the back of my mind. The major conference I was helping to plan at work and the retreat were both the last weekend in February, and I have spent most of March thinking through JostWrite, 1000Miles and steps forward. I decided to stay at my job, because OMG, I enjoy almost everything public relations, event planning and administration. That's why I got my Bachelor's in it, right? :)

However, I am ready to step back into writing again. I miss it. The last week in February and most of March left me hollow, and I thought about writing a lot. It got so bad, I grabbed a journal and started penning long notes. I have not journaled in years. I can feel a few changes coming on, but nothing set in stone and ground shaking, but enough to make JostWrite more enjoyable for me.

My little "recess" made me realize it is okay to let the ball drop in the way I did, and it may not be possible for a lot people, but it is okay to tune it out for an hour or two. When you are running your own thing, it is hard to be in the moment. If I did not take a break from JostWrite when I did, I would have had to figure out a way to tune it out (which I still need to do) or I would get resentful. Writing can be fun, but recruiting clients and all can be draining and a big sap to joy sometimes.

That been said, I am glad to be back and to be in a positive frame of mind as I think about contacting old and potential clients. I'm also looking into securing more event gigs...I have some good news in the works (another topic for a different day). I feel more like myself, and job search is a lot more fun when I'm not looking primarily in the world of Public Health. #bliss

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

'Oh My Crush // Shoxie's Twisted Cutout Maxi Dress

2013-03-19T11:23:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite things about summer is maxi dresses. I love wearing maxi dresses, and I love seeing them on other women. Shoxie recently instragrammed this awesomeness, and and I instantly fell in crush with it. It cost $56, an amount I have never spent on a maxi dress ever. I am also short, which means I have to hem almost all my maxi dresses after I buy them. I am looking at close to $65 or even more, and that makes me pause.

My pause is in the hopes that I don't give in to it before it goes on sale; If it ever goes on sale (please don't sell out). The model is 5'8" and wearing a small; I am 5'4" and wear XS or S depending on the designer. Something to think about, but I am still crushing on it.

Shoxie is one of my newest place to virtual window shop. I am yet to buy anything from here, because I am on a budget. When I do, it has got to be this dress or one of the many super cute items they carry.

What are you crushing on lately? I'd love to know

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!
Images via

My Good News!

2013-03-18T11:13:00.000-05:00

I hope you all had a wonderful St. Patrick's day weekend, the celebration seems to fly over my head these days. In college, it was a time for partying and doing too much in green. My version of celebrating yesterday was to stay indoors, get my nails done and catch up on The History Channel's The Bible. The show is moving fast; in last night's episode, Christ was born and He called Simon Peter to be a Fisher of men. A friend described the show as the fast-food version of the Bible...it is all moving so fast. However, I love it. I wonder about some depictions, but that is peripheral to the message itself.

I had a blast at the wedding I mentioned last week, I wore the shoes above for the first time in years. I NEED to de-clutter. My weekend was GOOD and now on to my good news.

When I announced last year that I finally got a job, I mentioned it was a 5 months position running from November to March. Now that we are in the middle of March and my contract is almost over, I am excited to announce that I am staying at this position until the end of July. I enjoy working there (working in general), and I am also pleased that I enjoy and like event planning and coordination. It is a good blend of everything Public Relations, Marketing, Communication, Writing, Administration and Social Media. I am excited to see what the future holds as I start job search this week for August...I am blessed and excited. Thank you Jesus.

In other news....
Lately, my confidence level has been rising. For the last three years, I have struggled with low self-esteem, loss of confidence and bouts of depression. For someone who has never really struggled with low confidence, the last three years have been hard on me. Leaving my job and not been able to secure another for several reasons led to struggle with my identity, negative self-talk and a little bouts of depression. It was new experience for me to wake up and have the first thought that comes to mind be "I have nothing to offer." I would walk down the street and suddenly have thoughts like "I am so ugly, no wonder I am still single" and "I can't do that, but they probably don't like me anyways" I was thrown off balance. To be sincere, starting JostWrite and the challenges of a new business did not help either.

Praise God, I am slowly but surely moving out of that phase. Being productive at work, JostWrite gigs and the event management gigs I landed made a huge difference.

However, the one verse that made all the difference was Acts 17:28, For it is in him we live and move and have our very being. That single verse changed my life and renewed my mind. I had to accept that my identity was not in my job or my bank account. It was not in the job rejections or in the nights I was stuck at home, because I could not afford to hang with friends. It was not in the shame that clouded me when I had/have to call a family or friend (Thank God for them) up again for another loan after I used up my savings. I did have to fight and I'm still fighting. I came to the realization that I never struggled with self-esteem or beauty issues, I always had more than two job offers on the table, people gravitated towards me and I am good at interviews, but these things can be taken away in the blink of an eye. Even when they disappear, I can stand because I am in love with Christ who never changes and has promised to be my confidence, my help, my shelter and the lifter of my head. He walks with me!

That in itself is the greatest Good News available.

How do you deal with seasons and feelings of inadequacy?

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

Around Here Lately // Happy Weekend

2013-03-15T11:29:00.000-05:00

My sister and I at a Traditional Nigerian (Yoruba) wedding in 2008

My I am Currently post from yesterday probably covered what's going on around here lately. However, my highlights of this week were finding out that a good friend matched for her residency placement and also getting back to blogging.

This weekend I am super excited to spend time with my sister during the day and head to a traditional Nigerian (Yoruba) wedding together later in the evening. I love traditional weddings for its cultural significance, the colors, the fashion, the community and also the HAWT men. :)

AND...I have nothing to wear. I need to figure something out ASAP.:)

Tomorrow is hair day, I will be spending a huge chunk of my Saturday morning washing, deep conditioning and hennaing my hair. I am also babysitting my friend's gorgeous baby boy in the evening. He is the most handsome baby I have met and he stole my heart. #bliss

I also plan to work on a strategy to contact three new potential writing clients this weekend. I am excited to see what comes out of all of it.

What are your plans for the weekend?

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

I am Currently...

2013-03-14T15:05:00.002-05:00

Hi Fellow 1000Milers...I missed you all SO MUCH!
My life slowed down, and blogging has been on my mind a lot. It is time to get back to doing what I love even when I'm not sure what I will be sharing going forward.

It feels good to be back; I have missed sharing my life with you.

I thought a good way to begin connecting with you again is to join in a "I am currently" meme I saw today on My Pretty Pennies blog. My last quality post was more than a month ago. {insert scold face}

I am currently...

Watching...The Bible on History Channel. I missed the second episode last week and only caught the last hour of the first episode. The first episode made an impact on me, and I plan to catch up on it soon. The most significant part for me in the first episode was after Pharaoh let the Israelite go. They got to the Red Sea, looked back and discovered the Egyptians were after them. Fear and unbelief rose up and the people began to doubt. Even Moses wondered aloud why God would deliver them from the Egyptians and then re-deliver them back into their hands. Moses questioning of God made me reflect over my life and how time and time again, even after I experience God's loving and saving hands, I doubt that He is able to walk me through the next challenge. However, lo and behold, he used Moses to part the Red Sea and got the Israelite to safety. Crazy how even this miracle does not stop the tide of doubt, unbelief, fear and sin that was prevalent throughout the history of biblical Israel. I pray and hope that my life is a better reflection of Christ's saving, faithful and loving grace.

Enjoying...the rest of this week off work including Monday and Tuesday of next week. The conference we were planning at work ended the last week of February, and we have been in a "Spring Lull" as my supervisor calls it. #bliss # rest. We are gearing up for a bigger conference in July.

Planning...a friend's surprise bridal shower (April), another's friend's surprise celebration/going away party (June) and my birthday celebration (July). I am excited to amp up my spring and summer activities. I love the spirit of possibilities during these seasons.

Excited for... hang out time with my sister tomorrow, my first wedding of the year tomorrow, pedi/mani and brunch next week with my girlfriend who just delivered a gorgeous baby boy, a possible trip to Philadelphia in April and a trip to West Virginia for the Mid-Atlantic Tough Mudder Challenge also in April. I am volunteering not participating in the challenge this year, but I plan to participate next year. I am excited for a lot.

Cooking...Chicken stir-fry for my friend who just had the most gorgeous boy in the world.

Pinning...nothing recently, but I am definitely pining (to yearn deeply) for a gorgeous man I recently connected with. :) *wink*

Inspired by...A Millions Miles in a Thousand Years by Don Miller and The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I am currently reading the latter, but recently read the former. They have got me thinking about walking a good journey, telling a epic story and enjoying life in general.

Remembering...that there is nothing to hard for God (Genesis 18:14) and has he said it will He not do it (Numbers 23:!4).

What are you currently up to?

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

Image of Your's Truly via

Around Here Lately // Silence

2013-02-19T10:38:00.000-06:00

My radio silence will come to an end soon. I have been so busy, I had to let some important stuff like blogging take backseat for a bit. I miss you all, and I do hope you miss me too. :)

There are so many wonderful things happening right now and they tend to keep me very busy! I hope I can share when I get back to this space. :)

I'll be back soon.

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!
Image via

Around Here Lately // Sick

2013-01-25T11:20:00.001-06:00

I have been looking forward to the weekend since Tuesday, because I am not feeling too good.
My week got busier, and my body snapped. It has been signaling that something was up since Tuesday, but I chalked it up to allergies which I have all year round. Yesterday, I could feel a sore throat coming up. This morning when I woke up, I KNEW I had to slow down and rest. I could not complete my regular morning push-ups and sit-ups.:(

The change in weather is also not making it easy.

I'm glad it is the weekend. As I got ready for work I popped my first vitamin C in years and ate my first breakfast in days. I'll spend the weekend indoors resting, reading, deep-conditioning my hair and watching movies.

Yesterday, I made beef stew (image pictured) in my crock pot, and it was oh so delicious. There is nothing left of if...my family ate it all up. :)

Have a wonderful weekend, and never forget the joy.

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

2013 Intention // Reading

2013-01-24T12:09:00.001-06:00

It has been a busy week, but in all the busyness that is my life lately, I have been reading a lot. I read on the train, I read on my bed before I go to bed...I read A LOT! I'm reading books too fast than I can review them. Yay for getting something done off my 2013 intention list. :)

Currently, I am reading...wait for it...Deer in the Headlight by Levi Johnston. It is not one I would usually pick up to read, but it was part of the gifts I received at my work's holiday party in December. I might as well read it while waiting for the books I have on hold at the public library. Thus far, it is a funny read, and I am still on the second chapter.

Next book I will be reading is Hunger Game by Suzanne Collins

Below are the books I have read in the past fourish weeks...Crazy innit?

Love the one you're with by Emily Griffin
I like Griffin's writing style and the topics she chooses to explore in her books. I hope I can get to review it soon.

Bossypants by Tina Fey
Funny read! I read it as part of The No Commitment Blogger Book Club hosted by My Pretty Pennies'. I'll do my best to write a review ina few days.

Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
I LOVE IT! I watched the movie again after reading the book. I will not look at a Kimono the same way ever again. Also, if writers have apprentice, I would love to work under Arthur Golden.

Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali
I read Caged Virgin; An Emancipation Proclamation for Women and Islam also by her in college, and that book got me thinking. Reading Infidel reminded of why I loved Caged Virgin and why I'm a Feminist.

Baby Proof by Emily Griffin
Oh, how I love Emily Griffin. She perfectly weaves her novels around love and other important topics.

What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty
Another book I read for My Pretty Pennies' The No Commitment Blogger Book Club. I liked it a lot.

Just Do Something by Kevin Deyoung
This book is slowly making me re-think how I approach discovering God's will. It is short, sharp and to the point, "Get up and make a decision already." I will recommend it to anyone.

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!
Image via

Around Here Lately // Busy

2013-01-18T08:37:00.000-06:00

Before I jump into today's short post, I have a question. Is anyone else addicted to the ABC show Scandal? Every time I watch the show, my family wonders if I'm going crazy. I spend the entire hour yelling at the screen, jaws dropped and heart pounding. Are you a #Gladiator like I am?

Ok...

Busy is the only word I can use to describe my life lately. Busy, but thankful.

Work gets busier every time I go in, but I'm not tired of dressing up, getting on the train, heading to downtown DC and producing work. I like my co-workers. I like what I do. I'll be sad when March rolls around and my internship ends. However, I'm already thinking of my next move. I like the world of planning, administration, writing, PR and communication. I like it, and hope to see where next it takes me.

Speaking of writing, PR and communication, and thanks to my sister and, well, my ~~charm~~ skills, I signed on a new JostWrite client two weeks ago. I have spent the last week and past days consulting and researching outside my work hours to prep for this project. My new client is different from what I have done in the past. I like it a lot better, because I get to do more than writing and editorial work. I am helping out with strategic goals. I have a very good feeling about it, and that for me has always been a good thing.

In addition to work and JostWrite, I'm also leading a team of five to plan a winter retreat for my church. My pastor asked in November, and of course, I jumped at it. I picked my team and onward together we go. We are planning the event from top to bottom. I did the budget for this event...crazy innit? My ~~close to~~ Type A personality enjoys the art of planning, and I do get to exercise my administrative skills in this role. Right after I post this blog piece, I am heading out to the event location for a site visit. Fun!!

Yes, I am busy, but loving it. I am actually very happy lately. A sense of bubbling joy has been with me since the New Year...the possibilities are endless.

Please have a wonderful weekend, and don't forget the joy!

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!
Image via

Dating, Worship Team and a TYPE...

2013-01-15T14:53:00.002-06:00

The thought dropped in my heart rather suddenly. It was not new or ground breaking. Match-makers and self-help gurus probably shared this thought with their audience.

It stood out on this night, because it came with a visual representation. I was sitting in the second row at church waiting for the worship team to get onstage. It happened in the few seconds after the team walked out from behind the black wood walls separating the congregation from the chaos back-stage.

There are many ways to tell a story. You can start at the end and work your way to the beginning. You can start midway and lead your audience or readers into a time machine that travels fluidly between past, present and future. You can simply start at the beginning. I am choosing to tell this story from the top, because it would help you better understand why my eyes opened and my ears perked up.

After my first date with my first love (also first relationship), I'm yet to go on a first date that excites me, and it has nothing to do with the men. I have not had the experience of preparing for a first date with butterflies in my tummy or the intense desire to buy a new dress to impress my date. I have been on many first, second, third and fourth dates, but none has made my heart go wild with both joy and anxiety.

Last fall, I had a mini- epiphany while helping a friend shop for her wedding dress. I realized I date like a bride shops for a wedding dress. Usually, if a connection is not made in the first few minutes after she looks in the mirror, all the pros for the dress may do nothing to change her mind. She most likely always goes back to the first dress she fell in love except if it is above her budget. I had a TYPE, and my TYPE has played a role in how I date. Very subconsciously though! Very subtle... that my son of a %$%^$ TYPE! Like a wedding dress, if I don't connect with a guy in the first few minutes of meeting him, it is hard for me to connect with him even if he has many of the qualities I am looking for. I tried to squeeze out the emotions in the first, second, third and fourth date, but if he is not my TYPE...no connection is made. In addition, I keep looking back at my first love and wondering "Why can't I have something like that?" Not the exact person (that would be costly and above my budget), but that feeling that anything is possible. Why do I have to fight for these feelings to grow especially when they are not there fours dates after? So stressful.

The thought dropped in the few seconds it took the worship leader to stroke the strings on his guitar and for the lights to dim. It dropped in the subsequent seconds it took for me to realize everyone on the team that day was male,and everyone sitting in the first row in front of me with the exception of one was male. Of all the men I saw on the worship team and in the front row, two were married and the rest were single. It was in this abundance of maleness that the thought dropped. "You are blessed with and surrounded by a lot of good men who share your values, but your heart is closed off. You are wishing for the one that fits EXACTLY with the picture in your mind and on your list, that you can't see that you can choose here and not go wrong."

For a self proclaimed lover of single-hood, I paid attention.

Here I was in a room full of men, but I hold back because these men do not have their jaws set like I liked, do not have the personality I am attracted to or there is no connection on the first few dates. I'm NOT implying that these men were attracted or interested in me. However, I have been subconsciously set on a TYPE (adventurous, quirky, out-going, charismatic, intelligent, word-traveler etc) that if one had shown interest, I would have picked it all apart using the back drop of a TYPE. I am NOT implying that every Tom, Dick and Harry should have piece of my heart. I'm also definitely NOT implying that I have not seriously like anyone since my ex and I called it quit. Oh, I LIKED this one guy :), but our values were so far apart that taking it one more step further would have been stupidity.

I took a moment before I lifted up my voice in worship to look at the good single men on the worship team, sitting in front of me, beside me, behind me, all around me and in my life. I smiled!

I do not have an insightful ending or conclusion, but I have a a new awareness I believe would change my love life and the way I date.

I did state in my 2013 intentions that "I want and hope to fall in love this year." :)

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

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When a Man Gets in the Way of Sleep...

2013-01-14T08:21:00.000-06:00

No, I did not plan to take time off a 1000Miles.

Things got pretty busy in my off -blog world, and I had no time and energy to blog. However, I missed it. A 1000Miles has slowly become my stress-buster and a comfortable place for me to chill and spill. Thanks to all my readers, followers and fans for making it so...I deeply appreciate you.

I have been busy, and that for me always precede going to bed late, waking up early and feeling crappy most mornings. In the past weeks, I have woken up feeling like a pregnant woman in the last days of her third trimester. Not that I know what a third trimester feels like, but all I know is I was dragging. Yesterday, I revived my old routine of going to bed by 11pm at the latest. I want to get up early enough to spend time with God, go running, eat breakfast, blog, get to work on time and feel like myself doing it. Last night after church, I hurried through the last pages of Tina Fey's Bossypant (review coming soon), and I was in bed by 10:30 pm. Yay for me!

BUT, insomnia kicked in a few hours after I fell asleep. I get this way during my period most months, but last night was so not hormone related. That pissed me off even more; I could not stay asleep because of a guy. Humph! I guess it had a few things to do with hormones too.

I am aware of a few guys in my life right now, which is another way of saying I have crushes on a few guys. Last night, I finally got the chance to speak to one particular crush I have not communicated with before. The one time we spoke, it was nothing more than "Hi, my name is blah, and it is nice to me you." I did not get his name in the few seconds we exchanged first names, because I was focused on not giving away the humiliating truth that my heart was running a marathon while jumping over hoops and crossbars. Yesterday, we finally had a chance to yet again exchange pleasantries and even with sweaty palms, a running heart, moist armpits and saliva collecting under my tongue, my brain got his name down and just to verify, I said "I'm sorry," and he repeated his name. (Yep, I'm very smooth like that) :)

My brain locked it down never to be forgotten, AND THEN we talked about Paris, language, travel, Nigeria, Redskins, Cowboys, Kenya, Safari...while doing my very best to keep from swooning. In addition, I had to make sure my eyes were not doing the funny things they do when I am talking to a guy I am all too aware of. Pheww!

All that was enough to keep me tossing, turning, dreaming and deconstructing our conversation when I should be sleeping. Don't you hate it when you have a crush on a guy, and isn't it even stinkier when you are not sure how he feels about you? I hate pinning after guys; I never pine, because it gets me no where. Last night was annoying, because it got me no where. My strategies in the past when I like a guy and have no idea what to do about it has been a combination of not talking of him to anyone and finding something about him I don't like to help get my mind off him. Blogging about it does not count. :) I think!

Anyways, my alarm went off at 6:30am this morning, I rolled back around after I turned it off and slept until 7:30am. This meant I did not run, but I did some push ups and sits up, spent time with God, had breakfast and starting writing this post. I did good. Tomorrow would be better if I don't let my crush mess up my night. Speaking of tomorrow and crushes, I will be blogging about one realization I came to last night as I sat in church waiting for the worship team to start singing.

It is a post all about men, men, men...I love men.Can't you tell? :)

How do you get over your crushes or what do you do about them?

This is my yet again smooth way of asking how you get a crush to take notice and ask you out already? :)

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

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Love-To-Do in 2013...

2013-01-04T11:55:00.002-06:00

For 2013, I am believing for a lot, but I decided not to strive. Instead, my over-arching goals are to enjoy each moment and day of the year, and not worry. As I mentioned in a post from earlier this week, I'm not making new or huge goals this year. I will keep working at old intentions from 2012 with a few tweaks here and there. I am excited to watch as things fall in place. I am calling these intentions my " 2013 Love-To-Do."

My intentions are simple and not overstated. I know 2013 is a wonderful year, and I want to enjoy it. I want to take in all the blessings for the year instead of striving hard to GET. I want to serve instead of always being served. I hope to apply this mindset to all areas of my life - Hukuna Matata mindset.

An Overview of my Love-To Do for 2013

(I have a detailed intention document that I am choosing not to share at this moment)

1. Read! Read! Read!

~~Reactivate my Library card~~ - Completed (1/03/13)
Borrow more books from the library instead of buying.
Read all the books on my 2013 reading list
Join and read all the books on My Pretty Pennies' No-Commitment Blogger Book Club

2. Write! Write! Write!

I have been working on my first book for a while. I have made no plans or deadlines for publishing, but my intention is to finish the "puke version" this year.
Join a writer's club. I miss my group in Minneapolis.

3. Travel! Travel! Travel!

Visit San Diego
Visit New Orleans - Essence Music Festival

4. Attain hair length

Keep taking good care of my hair...deep condition, henna treat and protein treat using my personal schedule.
Trim not cut my hair in 2013. I tend to cut my hair every year, because I like a certain length. I hope to focus on growing my hair longer in 2013.
Less MANIPULATION! If I can just get this right! :)

5. Cook! Cook! Cook!

Try new recipes
Cook healthy and healthier meals

6. Fall in Love...enuf said!

7. Continue Yoga

I finally tried Yoga in 2012 and I loved it. I hope to join a club in 2013.

8. Strengthen my friendships

I "learned my friends" in 2012, and I hope to be a better friend in 2013.

9. Step out of my comfort zone

The word for 2012 was "Bravery," and I do hope to remain brave, courageous, bold and of good confidence in 2013. I will share how I live this out over the year.

10. Grow JostWrite and 1000Miles

More on this intention in the next few weeks. The word for 2013 is "Hard-work."

11. Learn DC

I have accepted that even if I'm not in love with DC, I am here now. My intention for 2013 is to enjoy all that DC has to offer from restaurants to museums to events and so much more.

12. Volunteer...enuf said

13. Start getting my finances in order

For a personal budget lover, my finances have been all over the place for a while. It has been tight! Thing are looking up and in 2013, things are better. I'm hoping to double down on my finances like I did in the past

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

What are your intentions, resolutions and/or goals for 2013?

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My Word for 2013...

2013-01-02T10:01:00.001-06:00

Last year's word was "Bravery," this year's word/phrase is "Work-Hard."

Oh, and I do plan to keep blowing my mind in 2013. :)

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

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Happy New Year...

2013-01-01T11:01:00.000-06:00

Yes, please be awesome this year. Blow your own damn mind...that is going to be my mantra in 2013. Can you tell already? :) Go all out! Be simply spectacular.

Happy New Year!

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

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Into Twenty Thirteen...

2012-12-31T09:02:00.001-06:00

In 2012, I blew my own mind.
When January '12 arrived, I told myself I would be braver. I told myself I would take chances and I did. I took a chance on love, and I took chances in my life, my friendships, my career, my faith and my dreams. I lost, I learned, I loved, I hurt, I broke-down, I asked for help, I got angry, I forgave and I apologized.

I wrote the two paragraphs below in my first post of 2012, and today as I write this post, I realized it is still the lesson I am learning and taking into 2013. Weird innit?

"My biggest reality check was that it all boils down to love. The choices we make about the people around us and the role they play in our lives boils down to love. Love for God, one-self and others. It is my choice to love, serve, give, lift up and walk alongside people. It is my choice to decide where I place my identity, my heart and my value. It is my choice whom I choose to call lover and friend. Regardless of how people react to my choices and my personality, it is my choice to love while setting boundaries. Family, lovers and friends are designed to love you, but are prone to hurt you. It is your choice to decide to choose love."

"I am a better person, because of this realization. Walls do not heal, and in loving, walls must come down. Judgement, independence and confrontation do not hold love together. Making up your mind about who you will become does not negate who others are and the freedom and space they need to be just that without castrating their every move. It all comes down to love."

2012 was a good year in many ways and harder in some. I am much more aware of who I am and what I want. My next two big realizations for the year apart from the above were:

I accepted that my usually very high self esteem and confidence had been battered in the past 3 years, and I worked towards mending it.

I learnt to ask for help. I am a very independent person; I accept help when it is offered, but I am not one to ask. My mom has called me out on this, and this year I asked for help from my family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances and strangers. I'm still not comfortable doing it, but I ask. I asked for help even for money when I needed some, and I laid out my vulnerabilities.

I'm also aware of what I will not accept in love and in friendships. I opened up my heart to love, took a chance and was rejected. I became a better friend, settled into many of my friendships for what they really are, moved around my expectations of people and learnt what a few of my friends thought of me. I stopped blaming my personality and stopped accepting the blame on my personality for the issues in my friendships. It takes two to tango and this year, I called it all out as bullshit. I called my friends out on their crap, and they called me out on mine. I listened to their issues and judged their countenance. I settled my friendships and let others go. I made assumptions and came to conclusions. I walked away, and I crawled back.

I fell in love with my siblings all over again. I fought with my parents and spoke back when I needed to.

I pursued some dreams; I attended networking events, parties and workshops alone and met many of my clients there. I read my writing out loud in front of others writers and took in their criticisms. I held back my life and opened it up. I completed JostWrite's website and logo. I met people online I would not have met if I stuck to my comfort zone and to what I know.

I started an internship in a new and familiar field. I graduated with a PR degree for my Bachelors and basically went back to doing it with a focus on administrations and event management.

I am SLOWLY (emphasis on slowly) loosing the overwhelming and consuming desire to "Get it." All my life, I have been on a constant hub to figure out my purpose, take it by the horn and run with it. Regardless of this overpowering desire to figure it out and succeed, there existed a part of me that was not sure exactly what that purpose was. I spent a large part of my life confused and antsy. This past year, I am SLOWLY understanding my journey and losing the desire to figure it out. Each day and the steps I take are part of living my journey.

Stepping into 2013, I decided not to make big or new plans like I did for 2012, but I will continue to be brave and bold. However, my biggest focus would be working harder and smarter on the dreams I already have, especially the dreams that have stayed constant for many years. My 2013 goals are on paper, but like I mentioned in my introspection post in November, they are significantly shorter than my list from previous years. In many ways, 2013 would not be understated, but I am started out on a calmer note.

I hope all your dreams for 2012 came true and if not, I wish you nothing but absolute joy and success in 2013. Aim higher, focus and work harder.

Happy New Year, and see You in 2013!

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!
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Book Review: Nothing Comes Close by Tolulope Popoola

2012-12-28T11:46:00.001-06:00

Genre: Romance

My Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

When drama stalks the man you love, it is important to evaluate what you want...him or a drama-less life. Beautiful, sassy and independent Lola had to make that decision about her relationship with handsome and mysterious Wole in Tolulope Popoola's debut novel, Nothing Comes Close. For a romance novel, the twist and suspense embedded in the pages made it all the more delightful.

Last year, I had the honors of critiquing the manuscript. I was super excited to receive the published book in the mail earlier this month, and I was not disappointed. Set in the United Kingdom: London and Milton Keynes, and Lagos, Nigeria, Nothing Comes Close is an enjoyable read with an authentic portrayal of love, life and relationships.

The characters are three-dimensional, and readers will experience them from different angles of self while they evolve into who they had to become at the end of the book. Flawed, in love and very humane. The story-line is about more than Lola and Wole's relationship; we get a glimpse into Lola's struggle with her career and how she took steps to resolve it. We dug into the protagonists' (Lola and Wole) past, lived out their present and made conclusions about their future.

Nothing Comes Close explores friendships, death, infidelity and the depth that humans can subscribe to for love and lust. A death in the plot was a strategic platform that opens us up to human frailty. In one scene after the death, Wole and Lola shared a vulnerable and authentic moment. The stories they shared of their past in this scene seen far-fetched (on the other hand, it is a creative work and anything can happen),but it worked well in the aftermath of the death of a friend. That scene cast Wole in a different light. He is my favorite character. He is an intense and well-developed character, and his role helped the plot reach its climax and resolution.

The dialogue and language nuances between the characters, especially the humor-filled conversations between Wole and his friends, are original. Another quality to the story that I enjoyed, applauded and respected is the picture the author painted of Nigerians living abroad. Popoola was apologetically Nigerian in writing Nothing Comes Close, but she told it without watering down the ways of life of Nigerians in the Diaspora and without tailoring it to read like Nigerians living in Nigeria. I appreciated her characters.

A few scenes stood out as unusual. One of such scene was when Wole googled Maureen's alleged killer. His comment about the ladies not looking at his image when they googled him earlier seem unbelievable and out of place. In addition to a few unusual scenes, I will edit down the text to get rid of repetition and descriptions that added little or nothing to the story.

I was also impressed with the love-making scenes between Wole and Lola. She wrote it tastefully and concisely good that it left me yearning for me. Isn't that what sex should do? Leave you satisfied, but desiring more. Okay, I digress :) Our imagination is heightened in the short paragraphs she dedicated to the different sex scenes. We caught a glimpse of what happened without intruding on the intimacy of the lover's moment. I tip my hat!

Popoola is definitely a blossoming and talented writer whose debut novel is a must read set up to produce a sequel. There is a lot to choose from, but I am excited that she is expanding Temmy's story into a book. I am looking forward to more from Popoola.

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

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Magic is Still in the Air...

2012-12-27T12:02:00.001-06:00

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. I did!

I spent the day with my parents, siblings, brother-in- love, his parents, his sister and her boyfriend. Our home was full with laughter, fun and FOOD!

In the evening, we Skyped my uncles, aunts and cousins in Florida, and it got louder. So much fun!

I also finished two books over the holidays: Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali and Baby's Proof by Emily Griffin. The latter is on my 2013 reading list and it isn't 2013 yet. :) I enjoyed both books immensely, and I'm hoping to muster up the motivation to write reviews on both soon. I started another book off my 2013 list last night: Memoir of a Geisha by Arthur Golden. I might just be doing better with my 2013 list than I did with my 2012 list. :)

Bliss!

I hope to be back tomorrow with a book review on Nothing Comes Close by Tolulope Popoola.

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

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Merry Christmas...

2012-12-21T16:22:00.000-06:00

I'm taking next week off, and I might post once or twice. I want to enjoy my family being in the same city for the first time in many years. If I decide not to post once or twice next week, then I hope you have a good Christmas and a wonderful week.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

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A Sweet Serving...

2012-12-21T15:22:00.001-06:00

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!