Journal for Two

Three More Weeks

2012-10-21T22:19:00.001+08:00

When you can taste success in your tongue, do not coast. But strive harder.

In the course of this project, i have met and collaborated with so many people. Looking back, i would have never imagine the whirlwind of colors in this project. The amount of experience i have garnered has brought such significant change in myself. And i had gone through thick and thins that i would have never imagine. Wealth do really come from different aspects, among all that includes wealth in experience. It is sooooooo invaluable that not a single price tag we can put.

Success never come easy. Trust me that you really have to go through a whole lot of ordeal, and survive each day, before you can say "we made it". Even if you do, enjoy the view on top, but come down and get back to real life and...work harder :)

I can't believe i have reached unpredictable milestone. THA. In just ten months. It is just has been overwhelming. It brought out the leader and the mentor in me. I am so thankful we have great partners and sponsors for this project.

I enjoy the view from here. Not really on top yet. But it is still simply breathtaking.

Now let's get down to the plains and work :)

I've been neglecting you

2012-10-13T23:26:00.000+08:00

Hi body,

I know, i've been neglecting you. I no longer bring you to the gym. I no longer feed you with vegetables and fruits that i used to. Because of that, you gained 6kg, out of the 10 kg you have lost.

After the project is done, it is you i am going to pamper.

I love you.

Love,
Vainpot.

Fanboy in a suit is just a fanboy

2012-10-09T21:52:00.000+08:00

In my short span of time dabbling in the world of entertainment business, i have met so many types of people. Most of it are people who gives you a constructive suggestions, business were done in a casual and yet professional manner. A far cry from the suit-up world of Ari Gold from the hit series Entourage and a far cry from my previous work as a technical writer.

I believe it is because when you remove all walls, you do really think outside of the box.

I also met people who are all about face value and can be persuasive like crazy. People who toot their own horn and really made you believed that they are the undiscovered music genius. But when you put them in a test, they fail to live up to the expectation they created about themselves.

The first person was a fanboy who said he was a Godgiven tour manager for international artists. But at the end of the project, i realized he was just a fanboy, all about 'being seen' with the bands but has zero knowledge about business.

So we all learn from experience, and it toughens you. You realized that you shouldn't be too impressed with people who toot too much. In the end, what's on paper is what matters.

Another day

2012-10-08T00:30:00.002+08:00

Retrospect

2012-10-07T23:17:00.000+08:00

Everyone has different goals that they sent for themselves. People have different motivations, mission and vision in life.

Before i got married, i look at the lives of my married friends. Some seems to procreate the moment they got married, some took their time setting their priorities in life, enjoying the role of husband and wife before being mommy and daddy. Some are able to live the long distant marriage, either being a weekend wife or summer wife. Some has been married for years, but never seem to have kids. But all of them have a nice house and stable job.

I was pretty much set on not being a weekend wife. And was determined to be with my husband and co-founded THA. The first five months was a major learning curve. And i just saw my ability to go beyond my comfort zone, slowly coming out of the cocoon.

The second half of the year I see myself leading a major project. Getting the groundwork done, pitching and liaising with sponsors, partners, and seeing the project being done. Having a small agency, Moe and I did everything by ourselves. But the good thing is, we all know every aspect of organizing events and the music business that no one can con us, because we know.

Stress of working for yourself is different than working a stable job. A mistake you make could cost significant loss to your company. In a 9-5, a mistake you make probably will get you an NI (need improvement) from your yearly focal, and probably a slight increase in your stipend instead of a huge increase.

You don't have a day off. Every waking minute, your mind is already thinking, "What are the things i haven't covered for today?", "What do i need to achieve today?", "Who i need to pay today?", "Who do i need to collect money from today?". You have to make decisions, you have to negotiate. And sometimes, you have to throw a hardball. Moe is very good at it, while i still need to learn.

This is only just the beginning. I pray for a sweet and successful end to 2012 after a bitter first half of the year.

P/S: No time for baby yet. THA is Moe and mine's baby :)

Selamat Hari Raya '12

2012-09-02T19:19:00.001+08:00

I hope it is not too late to wish everyone Selamat Hari Raya.

What was supposed to be a celebration of firsts--first syawal with husband and marking stepping into a new milestone (I've turned 30! Yay!), it was a sombre affair. I spent my Syawal visiting my sister's grave, didn't go out anywhere, and stayed home with mum and family.

Husband was in Melaka, so there....... *fake smile*

But there is one hightlight though. Milia and I celebrated our 30th birthday with a one year old! Adam Ooi, koko's son was born last year, same date as me and milia. So it was really a great moment, where we crashed a one year old's birthday party.

I mean, who else can claimed that they had a red angry bird for their 30th birthday, right?

Angry bird birthday cake....hmmmm

Adam, mummy YF, me and milia

Visiting Che Che....my Chinese family were also there.

Che Che's resting place is beside Papa's.

Rest in peace, Che Che...

Update

2012-09-02T14:52:00.000+08:00

We have kicked off our november project. Sales had been very good. Have to wrap up three more sponsors and it'll be solid.

Kerja sendiri, never afraid of failure. It's failure that made you wiser, there are learning curves.

Family wise, i miss my che che. Mum is getting better. She is taking care of my godson/nephew. Such a cute little boy. He is more obedient and speaks english when he is at my house in BJ.

Will be going back to Penang this week.

Sent from my iPhone

Sleep deprivation

2012-08-16T15:11:00.000+08:00

Sleepy....

Sent from my iPhone

Heading Home For Raya in Penang

2012-08-15T01:32:00.001+08:00

So it is decided. Moe and i are heading home to Penang first for raya.

I do not need to fight with my husband about which side to visit first. Traditionally, we as the ladies go back to the husband's side of the family for the first raya. But this year, we are bending the rule. My sister had just passed away, four days short than a month. We are all still in mourning. Celebration there will not be, as it will be a sombre affair.

I was very happy to report to my mum that she will have me and my husband to be with her at this sad time for our family. She was in tears over the phone. I am glad i came to this realization that my family needs me. Tradition or not, my family comes first. Especially when a family member had just left us.

Anyways, work seems to be really piling up. As a very organized person, i still need to organize. There will be more work delegations to make things smoother.

I'm busy with work to the point where it really slipped my mind that my birthday is only three days away.

When i asked moe what day is saturday, he said "august 18". I probed further "what do we have on the 18th ya?" he shrugged "i dont know. Two days before raya maybe?"

Hahaha

Sent from my iPhone

A Win Today

2012-08-13T19:23:00.003+08:00

We have title sponsor for our November project! Alhamdulillah. Berkat rezeki di bulan Ramadhan yang mulia ini :D

But kerja makin banyak dah la. Insyaallah we will be able to pull all milestone for this project.

My Week in Photos, August

2012-08-12T13:07:00.001+08:00

Me cooks Daging Kicap

Meeting

Our first event all framed up, it's time to deliver to media partners.

Pop in DVDs and watch Linkin Park and Adele in concert. Researching

Me in the kitchen, here's the delicious Nyonya Chicken Curry for iftar

Colors

2012-08-12T12:58:00.002+08:00

Ribbons of light, sunrise at Kuala Terengganu

Toms inspired, Zalora.

Aquamarine jello, Perhentian Kecil

Moi

Another Working Weekend

2012-08-11T11:26:00.003+08:00

It's another working weekend for me.

Initially wanted to go back to Penang this weekend, but there is a second round of meeting with a prospective sponsor on Monday, so the presentation slides have to be done.

We went to another sponsor meeting yesterday, another presentation slides to do this weekend.

So there's three presentation slides nak kena buat.

It's gonna be the last week before Syawal. Have to do a checklist of things to be ready before raya holidays.

On another note, this is going to be the first raya i am spending away from my family. Feels really weird. I think all newlyweds will experience the same experience--first raya at in laws.

Honestly, I don't feel the excitement for raya this year. Just too soon. And i really want to go to my sister's and dad's grave before raya, just like any other year before this, where we visit the home of our dearly departed before raya.

Baru kahwin and work commitment.

Such a forlorn post.

Travels--Perhentian Island

2012-08-09T01:34:00.000+08:00

Sand Stamp

At World Cafe, pre-sun bathing

Partners in crime

My name on the sand

I love this shot. Kissin' it up at a secluded lagoon.

The sea and me shot

A beached whale

All Work and No Play Makes Me A...

2012-08-09T01:28:00.000+08:00

We got word from the artist management that the press conference will be in September 11 or 12.

One more month to PC, but three more weeks to finalize sponsors.

I'm rowing to the finish line akin to a world class athelete. Monday were spent emailing more sponsors, tuesday were spent meeting with prospective media partners, today were spent working on the roadshow schedules, with MNCs, hypermarts, and unis.

Tomorrow will be more follow ups, writing of media collaterals, and meeting with promo collateral designer.

It is like an agency, but the perks is i don't have to sacriface family time. I don't count hours to clocking off from work.

I am grateful :)

P/S: My uncle Ban was soo cute. When i updated him about the project and the gig in Kuching, he actually asked, "Mili can i tag along to Kuching? The last time i went to Kuching was 1984".

Yeah, i have a 50 year old roadie :)

It is one thirty and i am officially clocking off from work. Time to spend some quality time with hubster.

My Week in Photos

2012-08-07T17:22:00.000+08:00

Celebrated Umi and Abi's wedding anniversary.

Healthy iftar.

Dear God no! Moe wore make up for his show.

Weekend site inspection

Drove back to KL in the nick of time for Moe's show. Me working sending out emails.

Movie Night: Total Recall

2012-08-07T03:19:00.001+08:00

Went for a free screening courtesy of 8TV Nite Live. Total Recall is the shiznit!

The eMMoe Getaway--Perhentian

2012-08-06T01:44:00.000+08:00

When we got married, we promised that we will go for a mini honeymoon every six months. It does not have to be overseas, just a place we can just bring the heat elsewhere and just reconnect. Yeah we may work together but it is great to just enjoy each other's company without having the pressure of work stress. The inaugural mini vacation was Cameron Highlands, fews days post-wedding. In July, we went to Perhentian. More photos to be posted, but for now, enjoy this postcard.

A New Week Ahead

2012-08-06T01:43:00.000+08:00

We spent our weekend in Penang for site inspection, meeting with venue executives, and sound supplier and had conference call with our Kuching counterpart.
Kuching gig is looking a little ill at this point.Penang is good. But we are meeting a prospective venue this Monday in Kuching.

When you work for yourself, you work on weekends too. But the perk is Moe and I can watch movies when people go to work, avoid traffic jams, and work in our jammies :D

Other than that, we'll be planning more projects in Penang. Looks like there are a few other jobs line up our way in the north. It is a good thing also because I can take care of my mum.

Hope this week will be a week full of good news and all obstacles can be overcome.

Amin.

Bout of Insomnia

2012-08-04T08:22:00.000+08:00

I haven't been able to sleep at night. My mind just keep on thinking. Not so much of stress and pressure, no. But scenarios of what will be the next move of the sponsors for the november project.

Last two weeks, we have kicked off our sponsorship drive for the project. A couple of rejects, two meetings we went to, a couple of interested parties for the title sponsor spot. Both refuse to share the spot and both wants the spot.

It's really a game of chess. And i am always thinking of ways to overcome any possible scenarios. What if one pulls out, can we still be able to go on? How can we package the sponsorship better? There is no knowing until you are in the boardroom, unfortunately.

I think three steps ahead.

I also get my research done. Looking up the internet for news on previous events. I bought dvds and do my research somemore.

I just cannot sleep. Time is really precious. It's three months away now. And sponsors and media partners have to be finalized by september.

Then marketing campaign starts. Which, i am still working on it.

Today we have a site inspection and expressing invitation to companies in Penang that we are looking for sponsors.

Next week, we are kicking off official media partner open tender.

Oh....i'm turning into my husband. Mind is always thinking and cannot sleep.

I had that thought. He uttered it, mirthfully.

Mourning for the loss of losing a dear sister

2012-08-04T07:49:00.000+08:00

I'm back in penang for a november project's site inspection. First thing that i noticed is my mum has lost weight. In her eyes, there is sadness. On her face, she wears a forlorn expression.

My heart is filled with sorrow.

It seems to be very quiet at my house now. Laughter and happiness is a memory of the past. Neighbours have always remarked what a lively home we have, for every time they walked past our house, there are always live exchange of conversation. There were never lack of laughter in this house.

I stood outside her room and studied it as i would for an exam. All her personal belongings are mostly still left untouched. It's surreal that the owner has left.

She has left. A room filled with che che's items but she is not with us. It was as though she has just gone for a short vacation, but no...she is not coming back.

On the fridge, there were still unfinished supplements and cancer medicines. In her closet, there is still her prosthetic silicone breast and bra.

In her drawer, there are still her USM and maktab tuanku bainun's student ID.

This house suddenly feels so big with only two current occupants.

I wonder how is che che doing on the other side. I think and imagine about the days when she couldnt walk and learned that it has spread.

I thought of the nights she slept alone, unable to move, but awake.

I thought of how she felt so much sufferings and pain.

Che che, you must know that i keep you in my prayers. And i always recite Al-fatihah for you.

As i always keep in my mind, you are now free and able to walk. Smile for us from up above.

The family miss you very much. But we know for certain you are in Allah's grace.

We miss you Che Che. I have to admit that life is totally different now that you are gone.

Ramadhan week 1: Healthy Consumption

2012-07-30T02:07:00.000+08:00

How was your ramadhan so far? Mine was Alhamdulillah, i feel blessed. As a new family, this husband and wife do not splurge but maintain eating healthy. We bought greens, meat, fruits, and grains and cooked. Surely there are once of twice we had pizza for iftar and sahur, the occasional eating out with family members, but most of the time, what i cherish the most is eating healthy, homecook meal. Simple but hearty.

Stir fry carrot and brocolli, and scrambled eggs with mozarella.

Pear, pink guava, and watermelon

Brown rice with chicken soup (moe added too much olive oil).

Toasted sambal heh bee

Resuming Work

2012-07-28T03:01:00.000+08:00

Boss before presentation :)

Hardly a week after che che's passing, we have to resume work again. A November project seems to be moving very smoothly, thanks to Allah for making things easier this time around. Saturday was spent calculating profit and loss projections, profit margin projections, amount to be raised, creating sponsorship package for the sponsorship presentation with a well established mnc on tuesday.

Presentation went well and we are awaiting for a counter proposal. Today has also been eventful. We are locking in a hotel sponsor in Penang.

I pray for an eventful and successful November project. And many more to come. Amin.

Grieving Process

2012-07-26T22:23:00.000+08:00

"Grieving is a continuous process. Just because we continue with our lives does not mean we have moved on and forgotten our loved ones who have passed on. It just means that we have learnt to deal with the pain of losing them and we learnt to live with the memories of them in our hearts", a friend whose father passed away from cancer posted this on our facebook page and i find it very comforting.

Thank You, Charis Hospice

2012-07-26T01:31:00.000+08:00

My sister had no problem dying. She died listening to recitation of Yaseen and the song ‘Somewhere over the Rainbow’.

But it was not so easy three months ago.

Last April, my sister celebrated her birthday in the hospital, and her birthday gift was a diagnosis of bone, liver, and lungs metastasis cancer. And because the bone cancer affected her spinal cord, she was paralyzed mid chest down.

Imagine if you were in that position. How shaken will you be? Can you live with the anguish from not being able to move at will? Having to depend on someone from the moment you wake up? How undignified it is to have someone clean you and change your diaper?

But what can you do when life dealt you with bad cards?

You try to make the best of it and move on.

They say God gives you suffering on Earth to wipe off your sins. Sometimes when He wants to carry you home, He sends you angels to wade thru the tempest.

So He sent Charis Hospice to us.

A close relative gave us a copy of Charis Hospice pamphlet. Upon contact, the hospice loaned us a hospital bed, a ripple mattress, a commode, and a walker. They also assigned us a palliative doctor (Dr.Oo), a nurse (Christine), and a German physiotherapist (Doris).

For two months, these unsung heroes dropped by our home and cared for my sister daily without any payment. It was all based on love and compassion for the ill.

But my sister said her goodbye too soon.

In her final hours, Christine was overwhelmed with sadness. In spite of her emotion, she guided us through the reality of death, including of hallucination and struggling in breathing. She rushed over an oxygen tank and taught us how to use it.

Dr.Oo calmed us down and told us to be brave, and assured us that she will make sure that there will be no pain. She prescribed morphine patch and liquid.

Doris came over at night to calm my sister, talked to her, pulled her into an embrace and sang lullabies to her, giving her the serenity none of us could muster when the situation was unbearable. Although there was no pain and there was no struggle, it was hard for the family to see our beloved entering the beyond that we have no control of.

It is something I wish not upon anyone.

This Ramadan, upon paying your zakat fitrah and if you would like to sedekah, make your cheque payable to Charis Hospice.

Thank you Charis Hospice.