Journey into Original Wisdom

Cathedral of the Mind

2011-04-28T06:25:00.004-04:00

Sometimes, you just have to do things for yourself, and no one else.

A young woman once approached me on the street. She was homeless, sick, just having got out of hospital, hungry, scared, cold, without any money. I only had $40 left to my name, and didn't know where my next dollar was coming from. I gave her $20.

Once, I was sitting in a discussion among Christians. The leader said she was constantly conflicted about helping street people. Should she be giving them money, or should she be working to fight 'systemic injustice.' Others agreed.

I told my story. There was silence in the room.

The modern Christian mind is beautiful. It doesn't need fancy buildings, gilt with splendor, altar, vaulted ceiling, the mind is its own cathedral, safe, protected, majestic.

'Systemic injustice.'

I once sat through a presentation on racism in local churches. If a church wanted to hire an immigrant from a different race, how do you do that? Everyone talked on and on.

I stood up and basically said, put the racism on the table. First there is the candidates normal qualifications. The second part of the interview should be that racism exists necessarily. Tell us your story. We are going to give you power over us, the dominant culture in this church. How has racism affected you in your life?

The room was stunned silent. Something practical, truthful, honest had spoken. How to handle 'systemic injustice.' No one wanted to make it real, to deal with it honestly and effectively. They preferred is being 'systemic,' invisible, so they didn't have to do anything real, but just talk about their frustration making 'social justice' real.

The cathedral of the mind. Safe and protected, where concept is the icon that is worshipped in its beauty of recognizing suffering, so the mind doesn't have to look at itself.

Sun Warrior
Everyone has a spiritual sense.
But society and spirituality are like 'oil and water.'
They don't mix.
What's keeping them apart?
Take the journey through The Creation in Time

YouTube/Sun Warrior

Jesus Prayer: Jesus Must Be Going Nuts

2011-04-25T10:07:00.005-04:00

Gethsemane

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

With Holy Week just having finished, I've run into two programs on monasteries that constantly say the 'Jesus Prayer.'

This is all well and good, but if you are going to buy the atonement theology in Jesus' sacrifice for our sins, BE THANKFUL! Wasn't Jesus complaining about how the religious authorities used sin to control the people? Six hundred and three rules were added to the Ten Commandments. Jesus threw all that sin stuff in the garbage. He broke the rules about Sabbath, purity laws, eating with undesirables, the list is endless.

It is not the sin, but the obsession with sin... that is the sin.

Much like Christianity made a god out of God and Jesus, idolatry, subtly and ironically, obsession with 'sin' is another foundation of Christian idolatry.

God wants people to be free, not slaves, to Him, Jesus or anyone else. He tried re-training the ex-Egyptian slaves with the Ten Commandments, they didn't 'get it.' Since they had never known true freedom, they didn't have a clue, and thought the Commandments were just new rules from a new all-powerful slave master. Worship is a little more intense than gratitude, and caters to the power of the ritual authorities. Power.

Then came David, then came Jesus, but to no avail. The slave behaviors couldn't or wouldn't be shaken, perhaps the deepest true sin since the mess started on Mt. Sinai. Still, there is no difference between monks constantly reciting the Jesus Prayer, and Jesus' criticism of how the Second Temple Jewish authorities obsessed about their rituals.

I mean, can you imagine poor Jesus, up in heaven now, having to listen to this same prayer over and over for 2000 years without stopping? Is there a heavenly therapist? Didn't Jesus explicitly say don't keep saying the same prayer? Another example of Christians not listening to Jesus once more...

You're not supposed to be in heaven now. You're supposed to be on Earth. Not to lay judgment on anyone's paths, maybe they are supposed to be doing this for their soul story. Most likely. It just seems odd that there's little difference in behavior between the first century Jewish priests and the modern Christian ones. What did Jesus die for?

I guess they're just 'holding space.'

2011-02-14T21:41:00.001-05:00

Perfection

2011-02-14T21:36:00.000-05:00

Creation

2011-01-09T13:30:00.000-05:00

Thoughts for the day

2010-12-07T05:30:00.000-05:00

He who forgives

Has the power.

He who has the Truth

Has also the mercy.

He who respects

Has the choice of how to respect.

He who has integrity

Dominates.

He who gives

Can stop.

~ Sun Warrior

Marriage

2010-12-07T05:17:00.003-05:00

Christmas Joy in Retail

2010-12-03T05:53:00.001-05:00

Staying in bed

2010-12-03T05:41:00.000-05:00

Except for the minister, of course... he can preach in bed...

Achtung!

2010-12-03T05:35:00.001-05:00

click on pic, for more clarity...

2010-11-30T19:22:00.000-05:00

Salvation

2010-11-27T17:11:00.000-05:00

Yes

2010-11-24T04:02:00.001-05:00

What you're built on

2010-11-22T15:36:00.002-05:00

Christianity comes from a slave culture.

Who knew?

Foundations...

America

2010-11-22T09:23:00.002-05:00

Wisdom is Feminine

2010-11-22T08:48:00.003-05:00

As women take over society,
it will improve.

Women will do a much better job
than men.

After all, women love women bosses
over men.

Reflection as Obsession

2010-11-22T08:26:00.001-05:00

Reflection as obsession

is as much self-pity as revelation.

Going nowhere.

St. Augustine taught me that.

The Hidden Erotic

2010-11-22T08:19:00.004-05:00

What is obvious is boring.

What is hidden is erotic.

Something that wakes up the hidden inside me.

That's mystery, a lost art.

Women don't have any mystery anymore,
so they can't seduce. Just relying on men
being horn dogs to do the trick.

Men don't have any mystery anymore.
They are office boys.

The obvious.
Boring.
The hidden.
Erotic.

No wonder society needs 'Viagara Cock'
to satisfy itself.

Women's Humiliation

2010-11-22T06:48:00.002-05:00

Can any resolution really happen between the sexes if women cannot speak dispassionately with men, without the humiliation rage getting in the way?

Is it possible for women to actually respect a man's point of view about men & women?

The pain in women goes so deep. They still feel it, getting more entangled in this society's web than ever before, further and further away from who they naturally are.

I guess it's a generational thing. The memory has to be forgotten. Women's identity begins with humiliation, on so many levels. Power exchange. And yet, everything's changed.

Men were dominant in a feminine environment, when Nature dominated. Now the trend is women dominating in a masculine environment, the modern city culture. I guess it's so new, and everyone's so confused, and society has never been too good at solving it's historical trauma, just pushing it under the rug. Women just want to be free and in charge, and respected as sexless beings. If they want to be sexual, they will command that. Men just behave. Respect them as sexless individuals, equal, with lots of equity thrown in to support the single mothers bringing up babies.

Women like modern society. It provides the 'hard structure' that men used to provide in Nature. Now, women don't need men. The masculine, rational system provides it for them. Now they can control it, men become irrelevant in the power exchange.

Perhaps it is men who are being led back to Nature, the next wave. Don't know how that can be done, the way the Land is controlled. Genders live in relation to each other, defining their separate and uniqueness, their identity. Modern men are just as lost as women in the overwhelming modern environment. No one has a clue, outside of a few 'concepts' of the mind.

It's the slavery thing, of course. The dominance/submission thing. Men have been slaves to other men, women to men. Men are tired of being slaves, if they have a clue they are. The freedom from women through divorce and easy sex gives them a taste of what it used to be like, before the Old Testament, in the Original Wisdom of the Natives. But the knots that possess their minds are so dense, it would take a lot to unravel, and courage to let go of. We don't have 300 years to do this, like Christianity and science did taking over society. We've got but a few years, hopefully in decades, but unlikely.

We've screwed up so many fundamentals, no one has a clue. And history is thought negative, so it's wisdom is dismissed because of the crimes of civilization. And we forget, like we do last night's sitcom on TV.

Fear and rage, just under the surface. As women take power, what will their weaknesses contribute? They have a lot to offer, but they are working with a disasterous system model that they cannot perceive clearly. They just want to fix what is, not see where the train is actually heading. They don't want to give up what they have. They don't want to be humiliated anymore.

Women's Modern Identity

2010-11-22T06:12:00.006-05:00

Bitten in the asp.

I feel sorry for modern women.

On the one hand, as individuals, they still feel the need for the security of a man. On the other, they are so deeply humiliated, by history and what modern society heaps on them, they are proud of their seizure of power over the last forty years. If a man tries to defend his gender, he'll lost his head. The power, pride and rage just under the surface. Women may not like things now, but they do. It's far better than anything else men ever created. They can exercise in the open the hidden power they used to guide men for 12,000 years, and paid for it.

It's tough. A man cannot tell a woman the truth. She goes ballistic. Repeat back to a woman what she just said, and she will vehemently deny it. There is no honest communication. She will not be nailed down. Men will. Jesus was a man.

But women are now getting men's minds, through education and jobs, controlling the world outside the home that men traditionally did. Men's artificial society they created doesn't need muscle anymore. Mother Earth can be controlled with just the mind, numbers and technology. So women can now be powerful by simply mastering men's minds.

So they have a woman's heart and a man's mind now. Talk about internal conflict! Women love the power. Women despise men. Who can respect a man who gives up power to a woman? So now she is on her own, independent, won't put up with abuse or humiliation, always aware of the power dynamics around her, and society feeds her every vanity.

As they take over this artificial masculine environment, how will they run it? Women's pride thinks a whole lot better. But strangely, few women want a female 'boss.' What do they know about women in power that men don't?

As men become submissive, women can take out their disgust at their weakness. Personally, they would love to have a man-servant-husband that they could always traditionally manipulate and control, through his innocent heart (versus his guilty mind). But 'good men' are boring, and women with power and freedom become just as treacherous in their actions as men. They want the security, but women want to exercise their power and freedom. 'Whoever has the vagina, controls the Universe.'

Women are becoming 'whole persons.' With a woman's heart and a man's mind. Quite the accomplishment, that could only happen in a male environment, the modern city. In a feminine environment, Nature, they needed men to control it.

I'm actually starting to appreciate the modern, domesticated male, that I am, despite all my rebellion. I mean, I simply do not want to control and dominate a woman. I expect her to act with integrity. If not, get lost. I don't have the time for the bullshit. Most modern men don't, and we have structured society so we can get out, and women can fend for themselves in jobs. Perfect.

Women want the dominant male fantasy. It's instinctive. Security in secretive control over the man. But women love this new reality too, as women-men. They are torn apart inside, sensing that they are in bigger chains now, with feminist victory, still dissatisfied, but never going back. And so they shouldn't. They need to be respected. They need to confront their hidden ways, to get integrity.

And that's the revenge-as-blessing modern men are giving women. Women insisted on men farming, because they wanted it, the security to feed the babies, and all the knowledge to get 'stuff,' to make them feel beautiful and live with Nature and beauty under control.

Men are hunters. Once they started farming, knowledge increased, starting civilization, and this long road to today, the inversion of natural reality: a masculine city environment, with women controlling it. Just a matter of time.

Nothing wrong with letting the women run it. The men want their freedom. A real man is free. A real man is a hunter, facing death, thankful to the spirit that gave it's life, respecting the power of feminine Nature despite death, and deepening his true heart, independent of women.

Women have to face their vanity and pride controlling this messed up global civilization. They like it, until their mother comes home to see what they've done to the place. Mother Earth. Then the shit's going to hit the fan. Woman are taking responsibility for this catastrophic civilization. The men are snickering. They just want to go out hunting with the boys, and be truly free... in Nature. Momma's boys, hunting, facing death, becoming men while the women keep themselves busy and out of their hair...

Ah, rue the day, as Jesus said, when the babies can no longer be fed... how will women deal with that truth... coming from their Mother.

Memory as Identity: Augustine

2010-11-22T05:23:00.003-05:00

Memory is identity.

Identity is a huge thing in theological school these days. Part of 'spiritual formation,' as opposed to 'spiritual testing,' which is a whole other topic.

Identity and context. Context is huge. A person's identity is from within their infinite number of contexts.

But you really don't know who you are until you say 'no.' Then the separation and distinction occurs. The habit is broken, clarity from discomfort sends you down the rabbit whole of the bigger picture.

Memory is identity, St. Augustine alludes to in his aching 'Confessions.' He said no, to sex, to replace his 'mother-saint need' with God, to fill the emotional void that sex formerly did. He never did separate, just transference, with a lot of interesting observations along the way of his anxiety-ridden life.

That is who he was, his identity, having never had the courage to step out of the obsessive intellectualization, self-hatred, feeling lonely, which fed his lust to feel some joy, longing for a better joy, hoping God would be a perfect mother, because he never saw his own mother clearly. 'Madonna' complex, left out the whore part. So he never saw the hidden manipulations of her attitude in him, and how she controlled his whole life. So much for book learning.

He said 'no' to sex when he felt it was safe to go with God. He needed a few visions, and a lot of rationalism to feel secure. He never 'leaped,' rejected and lost everything, said 'no' to his whole life, to discover what was really on the other side of civilization. He was a coward, which ails far too many comfortable academics.

He never left an institution. He jumped from academia to Church. Never 'on the outside,' so how could he actually discover anything about actual historical Jesus' experience. Sad, though lots of brilliant observations through his agony, never getting there, but unfortunately influencing Church history in devastating ways. He supported the Church, not God, who is free, but he was not, never. Always dependent on the institution for security. Never took the leap.

He saw the absolute failure of intellectual, academic approach to life, without experience. He saw the failure of civilization as 'mind alone.' But he never quite 'got it.'

He is kind of the foundation of modern religion, in that from dry reality there is a yearning for God to replace something. There's so much in the middle that's left out. He never becomes separate and independent from God, Creation or civilization. He never 'let go.' The mind makes cowards. The heart makes the brave.

So he created his identity out of the negative. And from his personal agony, it went on to affect billions, as the Church realized it could use his self-hatred as logic and reason to control people. Brilliant. The identity of the Church.

Funny how eloquence, observation and self-loathing from the hidden influence of one man's mother could affect women and men, to a lesser extent, for 1500 years. She hated life, loved God as her substitute (was probably sexual abused as a child, I imagine, they all were back then... marriage at age 12), and went to Church twice a day and put up with the abuse 'humbly' (ya, right, seething the whole time, and scheming how to manipulate her husband to protect herself)... and Augustine never caught on. Through a man, a woman had so much influence.

It's like women have been blaming the Church and Augustine for the sex-negativity, never looking behind the throne, because that would mean women would have to expose their darker sides, which they are loathe to do, or more abuse will come. The same with the Church, so 'positive' today, hoping no one will notice what's really going on silently. Doesn't matter, it's dying anyway, so it's self-delusion, keeping it from survival.

Subtlety. Identity. Memory. The hidden clues. Who aren't we looking at that seems so innocent, but is actually influencing the whole scene? Women are experts at it. Men learned how, look at how Madison Avenue works, but as women take over society and the Church, the men don't stand a chance.

It's like naive, blunt, Germanic Horde-American business coming up against 12,000 years of Chinese civilized skill in manipulation and power... subtle, long term, altering foundations, smiling at the enemy, who don't have a clue what's happening to them. Their 'civilized history' is too short.

Do men have the sophistication to notice what is going on? Women are the majority in university now, and almost all new ministers in the Church are now women. They are taking over. Men gave up their identity as power, hoodwinked by guilt over the 20th century atrocities. But women are inheriting in their newfound glory, a society that is headed like a train into a mountain. They love the power, demanding respect, controlling this artificial masculine environment, taking it away from the stupid men. They haven't realized that by taking control and revenge for 12,000 years of deep humiliation by men, the man's system is about to swallow them up.

That's kind of feminine. Sneaky, men let women have power, slowly letting them take over, seducing them into this fragile survival system. Women love it, and defend this society, the best there ever has been, that control baby-making so they can have sex like men do, cheap beauty through shopping, money, tons of food, hard structure to operate in through jobs/business, and freedom when domesticated, wussy men become tiresome. They can do it themselves. Men are now weak office boys, nice, not warriors. What woman can respect a man who gives up power to a woman?

It worked, gentlemen. We are now more free than ever. Let women take over. I think we finally got the last laugh. We just wanted to be hunters. Women wanted control of the Earth, through farming, so men listened and did it for the women. Then civilization unfolded... as control begot more control over everything... stumbling to today, the final collapse.

Brilliant, gentleman. Give women everything they want, and as usual, they will still be bitchy and ungrateful, but at least our gift has some bang to it this time.

Memory, identity, Augustine. Mothers and sons. Humiliation, hidden and disguised. Blame. What a mess. Context. Yes... it's called civilization... mind culture that Augustine would fit right into today... timeless.

Remember... the Original Wisdom.

Buds

2010-11-14T07:46:00.001-05:00

"And the day came
when the risk to remain tight in a bud
was more painful
than the risk it took
to blossom.”

~Anais Nin"

Sexual Abuse Manifesto

2010-11-14T07:34:00.003-05:00

Found these on another blog... "Out of me, on to you"... got me thinking...

I was molested by a neighbor at 4, gang raped at 14. It would have been easy to declare sex as evil, engage in strictly missionary on rare occasions. I refuse. I refuse to allow my sexuality to be restrained by deviants. Their sexual disease will not infect me. I’ve analyzed the potential effects of sexual abuse and I make every effort to combat them all. My identity is not based upon sex. I do not feel I must fuck everyone to prove my worth. I do not avoid sex and I do not avoid aggressive even violent sex. I am vocal about what I will and will not do. I feel no need to lie or sneak around to satisfy me. I rule nothing out without trying it at least a time or two. I am determined to live my life without bowing to fear and if my sexuality is the result of trauma then it is a positive effect.

It is easy to become sexually comfortable and eventually asexual when in a long-term relationship. It has happened to me in previous relationships. In the past, it was indicative of problems in the relationship but even the best relationships are vulnerable to comfort-related frigidity. I surround myself with sex to prevent bedroom complacency. I listen to sex talk shows & pod casts. I read & write about sex. I enjoy porn and sexual conversation. My husband is taking a class on Tuesday nights. I keep him occupied by sending indecent pictures of me and other women to his phone. He especially enjoys that the guy sitting behind him can see what I send. My daily goal is to keep myself sexed up and ready to play at almost anytime and it seems to be effective. I’ll never forget driving to work at 3 in the afternoon and listening to Playboy’s Afternoon Advice. “Dirty Marie” told about coming home from a party one night. Her boyfriend was not pleased that she stayed out late but did not say anything about it when she arrived. But when they reached the bedroom, he bent her over the bed, put his hand over her mouth, spit on her ass, and fucked her hard and without mercy. I drove the rest of the way to work with wet panties and even after working 16 hours, I still needed to ravage Paul when I finally got home!

The Holy Spirit

2010-11-13T13:16:00.004-05:00

If Jesus were baptized today,
instead of a Dove landing on Him,
it would have to be a new
Microsoft operating system

... er, cell phone...
My, how times change
so quickly...

Robbing Change from Youth

2010-11-13T12:57:00.006-05:00

Youth is about changing
the dead weight of the adult world.

But if modern culture is all about change
What have we robbed from our youth?

They are supposed to be
the regeneration of society
.
Now, they are so caught up in it,
how will they ever find themselves?

There is no opposite.
Business has co-opted
yet another fundamental meme
of basic human life.

We are so brilliant.
No need to rebel.
Change is now a business.

Just hope you can
keep up with the adults, kids...

'Climate' change, indeed.