JOURNEY TO JOYFUL WHOLENESS: Recovery From AD/HD

OUR GROUP: WHEN, WHERE, WHAT AND WHO--WHY YOU OF COURSE

2013-10-27T22:10:00.000-05:00

Logo: This square peg in a round hole. (Anyone second that emotion?)

Address: http://journeytojoyfulwholeness.blogspot.com/

E-mail: AdultADDLaGrange@yahoo.com/

Twitter Account: Name: SteadyRecovery

Do check out our group's Twitter Account. I have searched out many terrific links with information, resources, articles, and free e-books.

Meetings Held: Wednesday Evenings 7:00-8:30 p.m.
Where: LaGrange Public Library, Lower Level Meeting Room
10 W. Cossitt Avenue (off of LaGrange Road)
LaGrange, IL 60525 Phone: 708-352-0576

Meeting organizer and temporary facilitator: Maryellen Grady
708-482-4984, but I hate the phone. E-mail me here or at missmarymac0040@sbcglobal.net. Put "Support Group" in all caps for subject and I won't miss it.

I have ten years of experience in counseling/psychology and in facilitating groups as a former certified substance abuse counselor. That kind of experience certainly is not a requirement for facilitating our group but it helped me some in getting this thing together.

First Meeting: Jan 19, 2011 and every Wednesday after that

Speakers & Topics So Far: (Written before meeting started and I could get more topic suggestions from group.)

jan 26, 2011

Feb 2, 2011

Feb 9, 2011 -

Feb 16, 2011

Feb 23, 2011 - Paul Fitzgerald - The Ways We Sabotage Our Lives

March 2, 2011

March 9, 2011

Topics we would like to discuss have addressed: ADD and:

*relationships, dating, marriage

*parenting as an AD/HD parent, parenting our own ADD children

*organization. We have at least one professional organizer with ADD education and experience willing to come.

*ADD coaching: What exactly goes on? Would it be helpful for you to hire one to come in and set up my home for help with organizing it? What kind of options are available? How much does it cost?

Jobs, Work and Career: Focusing on past job problems with an eye towards avoiding them in the future. Finding a job with a spotty work history. Jobs for people with AD/HD.

The Family: Coordinating schedules and activities, accepting and meeting responsibilities, financial pressure, child-rearing, marital tension, emotional chaos, communication problems, prioritizing problems and goals, clarify expectations, consistency, respecting boundaries, relieving stress and playing together, finding and accepting support--the list is a long one.

Social Skills: Why some say people with AD/HD have poor social skills. True or false? If true, what do we do to improve them? Give examples.

Medications: Some people do fine with stimulant drugs, others can't tolerate them and look for natural remedies. What remedies/treatments are available and what are our experiences with them and/or our knowledge of their success rates and side effects?

Improving self-esteem. Putting aside perfectionism and accepting ourselves just as we are. How do the 12 Steps help with this? What has helped you? Brainstorming on techniques for improving self-image and self-confidence.

Reaching acceptance of our illness and not blaming ourselves for symptoms of it. How far have you come? Suggestions for improving acceptance of having AD/HD. How 12 Steps help with this. How therapy, ADD coaching, group meetings, networking and discussions help with acceptance.

We can add topics as they suggest themselves. Please bring up new topics to add at meetings, in blog comments, or send an e-mail.

How Is It Going Out There? Are You A Reader? Let me from you. Comments, questions, sharing.

2013-10-27T22:08:00.000-05:00

2011-03-25T14:30:00.002-05:00

ADD and Work

Strategies for Success in the Workplace

By Keath Low, About.com Guide

About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by the Medical Review Board

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Simple tips and adjustments to your environment can make your work life more productive.

Photo © Microsoft

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ADD can certainly affect one's work life. Imagine having trouble remembering information, managing your time, organizing and prioritizing, screening out distractions, and just getting started on tasks. What if you have trouble figuring out what is important and you get bogged down and stuck on details that are not relevant? What about deadlines that seem to sneak up so quickly? What if you had difficulty simply planning out your day? These are some of the problems adults with ADHD often have. ADHD develops in childhood, but symptoms can continue into adolescence and adulthood. Many people with ADHD are not diagnosed until later in life, somehow able to slide through childhood without being diagnosed. ADHD does not have to be limiting. Adults with ADHD can lead productive, fulfilling, and successful lives. Some of our greatest business leaders, scientists, composers, and artists are known to have ADHD. Focus on your areas of strength rather than on the problems. Assess what you are good at doing and appreciate those gifts. Find a career that matches these strengths. Structure your day. Have a regular routine. Use organization tools. Simplify. Here are some tips for facing those attention problems head on.

ADD and Work Tips

If you have an office job, request a private office for work and shut the door while you work to close out distractions. If you are unable to have a private office, ask for a cubicle away from the hustle and bustle of the main work area.
Keep work area clear of clutter. Have designated spots for pencils, paper, calendar and daily planner.
Use “white noise," earplugs, or earphones with other soothing sounds to mask the distracting work sounds in the office.
Take frequent breaks. Plan them out in your day. Walk to get water at the water fountain, go to the bathroom, and make your way up the stairs for an exercise break. Get out of the office during lunch break for a refreshing walk.
Try to have uninterrupted blocks of time during the day. Set your phone to go to automatic voice mail so it doesn’t distract you while on another task. Have a set time in the day to check messages. Write down all messages.
Keep a notepad with you during the day to write down any information you need to remember. Post-it notes are also nice for reminders. Try a dry erase board.
Avoid over-scheduling your day. Schedule in extra time in case work assignments or meetings take longer than expected.
During meetings hold something in your hands to keep them busy.
Use a day planner.
Make checklists and check off items as you complete list.
Break up work into smaller, more manageable chunks.
Give yourself small rewards for completed tasks.
Get into work early or stay late so you can work when it is less hectic and busy.
Ask co-workers to send information to you in writing or email so you can keep better track of it.
Set your watch to beep about five minutes before a meeting so you won’t forget. Additional Reading: Make Work More Productive Informing at Work Interacting with Co-Workers Job Rights and Accommodations _Sources: _{Nadeau PhD, Kathleen G. Adventures in Fast Forward: Life, Love, and Work for the ADD Adult. Brunner-Routledge 1996.} _{National Resource Center on ADHD, Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Diagnosis of ADHD in Adults. 2003.} _{Sarkis PhD, Stephanie Moulton. 10 Simple Solutions to Adult ADD. New Harbinger Publications 2005.}

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2011-03-02T08:27:00.000-06:00

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2011-03-02T08:20:00.001-06:00

Organizations that are helpful.

2011-02-25T10:44:00.001-06:00


SURRENDER

As promised, here are some questions for reflection or journaling to help you get the first step from your head to your gut for real acceptance.

The first step of ADD is: We admitted we were powerless over the effects of ADD--that our lives had become unmanageable.

(Reminder: Please get at least one of these books. The Twelve Steps A Key to Living with Attention Deficit Disorder, the workbook, is currently available used on Amazon for 0.24. The Twelve Steps A Guide for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder, the text is available used for $1,43,)

Questions:

1. In what areas of your life do you feel most powerless? We are used to trying to sneak in the back door when we can't get in the front, and other workarounds, but what areas are you most powerless over in terms of ADD?

2. In what areas have you felt you were most in control? Were you locked into control determined not to ask for help no matter how frantic others perceived us?

3. The idea that our lives are unmanageable is easier to understand and accept than the idea of being powerless. We know how how unmanageable life is for us--that's why we look for for outside escapes and take medication. We are painfully aware of not fitting in--of b eing different. We're running out of reasons to blame others for the lost jobs, failed relationships, and broken dreams. We are beginning to recognize that the problems follow us and it's time for us to take some corrective measures and try some different tactics.

4. What lost jobs, failed relationships, or broken dreams caused you to realize how unmanageable your life really is? Explain.

5. How does the unmanageability you feel affect your personal and business goals and relationships?

6. ADD and the low self-esteem it causes keeps us from accomplishing our goals and interacting with others. We lose confidence in ourselves and in our abilities, and end up with a stressful life that gives us little or no satisfaction. The stress compounds our problems, intensifies our fears and insecurities, and creates a sense of panic. Some of us depend on mood-altering substances such alcohol or drugs or food to relieve our tension and hide from the pain. In more subtle ways, others of us bury ourselves in school activities, work, relationships, or addictive/compulsive behavior to help us focus and avoid boredom. Our lives are full of unwelcome behaviors and overwhelming emotions.

How have you used mood-altering substances to self-medicate your ADD symptoms?

7. Describe your feelings about your use of mood-altering substances or behaviors.

8. Describe some of the ups and downs in your life that make you feel like you are on a roller-coaster ride.

9. Two key factors cloud our vision of reality: self-will with its self-reliance, and denial with its many tricks--blaming, minimizing, caretaking, etc. When these factors are removed, we are able to recognize the truth about our lives and admit we need help. In the same way that we sought medical or other professional help for our ADD symptoms, we now need to seek out spiritual direction. Working Step One helps us find a spiritual key to living with ADD.

What has blocked you from seeing the reality of your life?

To be continued. If you spend enough time and reflection on these, they are plenty.

2011-02-25T08:02:00.019-06:00

Time Management Tips

Time Management Tips for Adults With ADHD

By Keath Low, About.com Guide

Updated April 06, 2009

About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by the Medical Review Board

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No one likes the feeling of being late.

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Time Management Tips and Adult ADD I’m running late. I’ll be there in just a little while. I am so sorry that I am late. How many times have you said these words? It feels terrible to be late -– to work, to your doctor's appointment, to your meeting, to meet a friend, getting the kids to school, and even worse, picking the kids up from school. No one wants to be late, but sometimes even those with the best intentions are chronically late. How can you stop this cycle? How can you improve your time management? ADHD coach, Kay Grossman, M.A., LLC, explains that effective time management requires two skills that people with ADHD often naturally lack, but can learn -– planning and marking the passing of time. According to Grossman, the best prescription for being on time includes:

Planning ahead on a daily basis.
Employing strategies that use the individual’s preferences and personal style.
Using external cues to indicate elapsed time.

Grossman provides a few no-fail solutions for addressing specific time-management challenges. Challenge: Planning Far Too Many Activities How many times have you committed yourself to too many activities? Grossman says that this over-scheduling occurs quite often. Sometimes we become too gung-ho or unrealistic about the amount of things we can get done in a given time period. Other times, we may have a hard time saying “no” to requests others make of us. Unfortunately, over-committing and over planning simply sets us up for frustration. Solutions:

Choose a planner that works for you, considering size, technology, ease of use, portability, color, and feel.
Mark out times for known, set, key events such as work times, meal times, carpools, and standing appointments.
Create a to-do list and then choose no more than three to five high priority items to complete on a given day. Write those items in your planner in the gaps of time available.
Think, “subtract” or “swap” when you add an item to your daily plan. Keep in mind the finite number of minutes in a day and the fact that you are only one person.

Challenge: Having What You Need to Get Out the Door on Time It is time to go, but needed items are scattered all around the house. Where are those car keys? Where are my glasses? Solutions:

Establish holding places near the door for keys, wallets, backpacks, and purses. Make it a habit to place those items in the special place any time you walk in the door.
Put any items you need to take with you in the morning in the designated holding place or on the floor next to the door. Encourage all family members to do the same.

Challenge: Having Too Much to Do in the Morning to Leave on Time You can’t decide what to wear. Your shirt is wrinkled, so you must iron it. You finally decide what to wear, but now one of your shoes is missing from the closet! Solutions:

Reduce morning stress by preparing the evening before. Gather all items for your morning outfit, including shoes and accessories, before you go to bed.
Establish and post a list of the morning routine. Do only those items. Do not squeeze in anything else.

Challenge: A Lack of Internal Cues That Help You Judge the Passing of Time How many times have you been engrossed in an activity on the computer and lost track of time? This happens to people quite frequently. We get involved in an interesting activity, completely lose our sense of time and as a result we miss an important meeting or picking the kids up from school on time. Solutions:

Strategically set timers to ring or vibrate as a convenient external cue of elapsed time. You may even use a combination of a vibrating watch alarm set as a warning signal and a freestanding timer set 15 minutes later as a reminder to get off the computer in a timely manner.
Set a cell phone or watch alarm to vibrate every 10 or 15 minutes. When the alarm goes off, use that as a cue to orient yourself in time. Ask yourself if you are doing what’s most important in this moment, and if you are where you need to be.

Challenge: Estimating How Long Specific Tasks Take Grossman notes that with a fluid ADHD-style time sense, it is difficult to know if there’s enough time to finish a report the morning before the big meeting, to take one last phone call before leaving to drop off the children at soccer practice, or to make “just one stop” en route to the doctor’s office in time for the appointment. Solutions:

Double or even triple the amount of time you think it will take to do something and then plan accordingly.
Make a rule for yourself that you will simply not do that “one last thing” before leaving the house for an appointment or en route to a destination.
Hone your time sense by practicing. Start by estimating how long tasks will take. Write your estimates in your planner next to the item and keep track of the actual time spent. Look for patterns. Do you usually underestimate how long it takes to drive places? Do you tend to overestimate how long it will take you to complete your expense report? With vigilant practice of guessing and recording the actual elapsed time, the gap between your estimated and actual time will narrow. You’ll feel more in control and will arrive places consistently on time.
Determine how much time it truly takes you to get ready to leave the house in the morning, accounting for everything that must be done. Plan for it.

Challenge: Failure to Account for Time Eaters What are time eaters? Grossman explains that time eaters are the seemingly trivial, peripheral activities that accompany most actions we take, eating into our time without our awareness. They include traffic snarls, searching for parking spots, walking from parking lots into buildings, elevator delays, finding the right office, and the need to run back to the car for a forgotten item. Time eaters also show up at our work place, interfering with on-task effectiveness. They include phone calls, audible e-mail alerts, and stoppers-by. Solutions:

Build in plenty of time to account for time eaters. Double or triple the amount of time you normally allow for traveling to a destination.
To optimize timely task completion, choose a chunk of time when you’ll turn off the phone ringer and the e-mail alert system, and hang a sign on your closed door requesting no interruptions.

Challenge: A Desire to Avoid Being Early, Which Results in Being Late Grossman notes that some people simply don’t like to arrive places early. They may dread the discomfort or tedium of waiting for a meeting or appointment to start. Solutions:

Pack a Guilty-Pleasures tote bag and keep it in your car to use just in case you arrive somewhere early. Guilty-Pleasure items are those you enjoy, but often deny yourself due to a perceived lack of time. They might include magazines, novels, catalogs, or crossword and sudoku puzzles. A variation on this theme is a Found-Time tote bag, which might include projects without a set deadline, such as thank-you cards (along with pens and envelopes). You may even find yourself aiming to arrive early so you can reward yourself with your “indulgent” activity.
Use the waiting time as necessary downtime in your day. Try a simple meditation technique of focusing on your breath, or simply remind yourself that a few minutes of daily downtime is required for recharging your brain, making it a productive use of your time.
Use the waiting time as found time for getting done those things you are unlikely to schedule such as cleaning out your wallet or purse, balancing your checkbook, or tweaking your to-do list.

The next time you find yourself running late, review Grossman’s list. Find your “challenge” and try each of the suggested solutions. You may find yourself arriving places on time (maybe even early!), feeling much more relaxed and happy. It will be nice to say goodbye to the frazzled feelings that come with being late.

February 25, 2011 Unconscious Communication Chronic Lateness Addressing chronic lateness helps us to better honor both others and ourselves. Being late for an appointment or a date can seem like a small thing that really doesn’t matter, but it communicates volumes, whether we mean it to or not. Being kept waiting is an experience that almost no one enjoys, because at best, it wastes their time, and at worst, it indicates a lack of regard. It’s as if we’re saying that our time is more important than their time, so we don’t need to honor them by showing up when we said we would. When we are running late, it means a lot if we call and let the person know, especially if it’s going to be more than ten minutes. However, if we are chronically late, it may take more than a phone call to properly address the issue. If it’s become a habit of ours not to be on time, we may want to look inside ourselves and see what’s going on. It’s easy enough to make excuses about our behavior, or to project responsibility on the other person, perceiving them to be uptight if they are irritated by our tardiness. What’s more difficult, and more meaningful, is looking at ourselves and asking why it is that we always, or often, show up late. Sometimes this happens out of a lack of self-regard, as if we aren’t really important anyway, so why will anyone care if we’re late, or don’t show up at all. Chronic lateness can also stem from being disorganized, or simply trying to do too much in one day. Another possible reason for being late to a particular appointment, or date, is that we don’t really want to be there. We communicate our disinterest or boredom by not showing up on time. Whatever our reasons, if we raise them to the conscious level, we have an opportunity to live a more conscious life. As we begin to understand the deeper reasons behind our inability to show up on time, we have the option to communicate clearly and consciously about how we really feel, rather than communicating unconsciously by being late. -------------- I am neither disinterested nor bored, and I certainly care about you and what you must think. I will make a concerted effort to be on time from now on. Maryellen

SYMBIOSIS IN NATURE AND AT OUR FIRST SUPPORT GROUP MEETING

2011-01-21T23:51:00.000-06:00


Clownfish and Sea Anemone: People Who Need People, Sort Of

I wanted to enter a haiku writing contest today, and, of course, it's standard to use a theme from nature. Out of synchronicity, intuition or just plain old-fashioned inspiration, a one word concept came to me as if spoken: symbiosis. Do you remember from Biology what that is?

A perfect example of the cooperative relationship that benefits both participants can be seen in the relationship between the two Ocellaris Clownfish* and the single Ritteri Sea Anemone in which the couple live. This mutual symbiotic "friendship" is so perfect it is beyond belief. God or the Higher Power is certainly in the details.

I was charmed to read that the beautiful but not overly aggressive clownfish waddles when it moves, and reminds you of a happy dog wagging its whole rear portion because it is so glad to be on a walk with its owner. The funny little fish is, however, territorial. It protects the anemone from the fish that would eat it.

Now it is surprising to see so many photos of the clownfish swimming freely among the tentacles of Ritteri sea anemones, because they are poisonous and kill most other trespassers. These stinging tentacles protect the clownfish from its predators and a special mucus on the clownfish protects it from the stinging tentacles.

There are more ways they benefit one another as well, but we don't need to go into them all when there are search engines.

Some scientists point to these interactive symbiotic relationships as proof against Darwin's competitive survival of the fittest notions, and say actually evolution more likely comes from networking and cooperation.

_______

*(This extremely flexible fish even changes sex and becomes the female when the female of the couple dies. They are hermaphrodites.)

Interesting? I thought so. Why am I writing about it on our website? Because we are entering a mutually beneficial symbiotic interactive cooperative relationship that will help us grow and flourish. We will be pooling our strengths and talents to encourage and help each other, and we will be receiving support, understanding, strength and more than we gave back. Isn't symbiosis wonderful and awe-inspiring? We are also evolving into the people we always dreamed we would become, the person we knew we were inside but didn't know how to free.

I didn't expect eight (so many!) such warm, caring and enthusiastic spirits right out of the gate. I am so excited, joyous and filled with gratitude. I believe our possibilities as a group are wide open and we will be "amazed before we are halfway through" as 12-Step literature writes of working the 12 Step Program. The promises of the 12 Steps on page 257 will come true for us. In fact, to give you even more to look forward to, I'm going to put them in a separate post for you today.

Note: BTW, Borders in La Grange only has new copies of our ADD 12 Step books on back order which takes 2-4 weeks for $$12.75. They do have some used copies of the Guide ranging from $3.15 in Like New condition up to $9+ for VG.

I'll get those fliers done if I have to use an outside printer. I am so touched by offers of helps. I am also calling our professional organizer with the ADD experience and training and telling her the sooner the better.

If anyone wants to write a post for this site, call me or send an e-mail. That would be great. Please do leave your input now in comments which are published with the post. I made sure there's no damn Captcha letters to fill out correctly before you can leave a comment. I swear some of those are written in Futhark and Ogham both alphabetic systems used in Northern Europe before being replaced by the Latin alphabet. Are the webmasters of these sites sadists gunning for stooges like me who will do them over ten times if necessary or are they a mean-spirited joke?

I am looking forward to our next meeting on the 22nd at 7:00 at which I plan to talk less and learn more.

Namaste,

Maryellen

As Promised In Today's Post, the Promises of the 12 Step Program.

2011-01-20T16:44:00.000-06:00

THE PROMISES

We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

We will comprehend the word serenity.

And we will know peace.

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.

We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

Self-seeking will slip away.

Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

We will suddenly realize God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Our Group's Blog: Journey to Joyful Wholeness: Recovery From AD/HD

2011-01-18T18:14:00.000-06:00

If you don't like title of group or blog or anything, we can take a vote on it and change it. Everything is by group consensus. I am only your trusted servant, as they say in A.A. I felt the need for an Adult ADD/ADHD Group in my area that I could easily get to so I started one. That also makes me the temporary group blog editor and group facilitator until one of you generous souls takes over, and the sooner the better. I have ADD you understand. Organization and completing tasks aren't two of my strong suits, but that curse may have skipped over some of your or you've learned good coping strategies.

This is our blog to post our comments and e-mails in (if you so desire), to post your ADD/ADHD experiences, strengths and hopes, or links to interesting articles/research, to learn what the topics at group will be if we stick to them, to tell you something about the expert guest speaker who will shed some light on relevant topics, if we decide that's a good idea; to keep track of when and where we meet, and so on. Today I will be adding some general information and links for those new to ADD/ADHD.

Getting Started In Our Square Hole World: Who, What, Where, Why and How

2011-01-17T15:37:00.002-06:00

Logo: This square peg in a round hole. (Anyone second that emotion?)

Address: http://journeytojoyfulwholeness.blogspot.com/

E-mail: AdultADDLaGrange@yahoo.com/

Twitter Account: SteadyRecovery

Do check out our group's Twitter Account. I have searched out many terrific links with some very positive, inspiring writers, speakers, resources, articles, and free e-books and other books and materials that you can have access to.

When: Weekly on Wednesday Evenings 7:00-8:30 p.m.

Where: LaGrange Public Library, Lower Level Meeting Room
10 W. Cossitt Avenue (and LaGrange Road) Coming from the North on 45 (La Grange Road)--approximately four blocks south of Ogden Avenue, Cossitt is second light past Burlington tracks. Coming from the North on 45 (LaGrange Road) one block north of 47th and LaGrange Road.)

LaGrange, IL 60525 Phone: Maryellen Grady 708-482-4984 (leave message)

I have ten years of experience in facilitating groups as a former certified substance abuse counselor. That kind of experience certainly is not a requirement for facilitating our group but it might come in handy as we get things set up and rolling and into the hands of new volunteer co-chairs and facilitators.

First Meeting: Jan 19, 2011 and every Wednesday after that.

Speakers & Topics So Far: (Written before meeting started and I could get more topic suggestions from group.)

jan 26, 2011

Feb 2, 2011

Feb 9, 2011 -Bill Melon, Ph.D., AD/HD and Its Affect on Marriage and Couples

Feb 16, 2011

Feb 23, 2011 - Paul Fitzgerald - The Ways We Sabotage Our Lives (more info pending)

March 2, 2011

Other speakers and surprises coming up include ADD Coach speaking on another perspective of AD/HD (the positive side) and a professional organizer who has AD/HD organization training and experience.

Other Possible Topics To Start Our List Off:

*ADD coaching: What exactly goes on? Would it be helpful for you to hire one to come in and set up my home for help with organizing it? What kind of options are available? How much does it cost?

Jobs, Work and Career: Focusing on past job problems with an eye towards avoiding them in the future. Finding a job with a spotty work history. Jobs for people with AD/HD.

The Family: Coordinating schedules and activities, accepting and meeting responsibilities, financial pressure, child-rearing, marital tension, emotional chaos, communication problems, prioritizing problems and goals, clarify expectations, consistency, respecting boundaries, relieving stress and playing together, finding and accepting support--the list is a long one.

Social Skills: Why some say people with AD/HD have poor social skills. True or false? If true, what do we do to improve them? Give examples.

Medications: Some people do fine with stimulant drugs, others can't tolerate them and look for natural remedies. What remedies/treatments are available and what are our experiences with them and/or our knowledge of their success rates and side effects? No one is right or wrong on this tempestuous topic. Let's just get all the information, compare notes and make our own personal decisions with the help of our support advisers.

Improving self-esteem. Putting aside perfectionism and accepting ourselves just as we are. How do the 12 Steps help with this? What has helped you? Brainstorming on techniques for improving self-image and self-confidence.

Reaching acceptance of our illness and not blaming ourselves for symptoms of it. How far have you come? What is/are your goals? Suggestions for improving acceptance of having AD/HD. How ADD 12 Steps help with this. How therapy, ADD coaching, group meetings, networking and discussions help with acceptance.

We can add topics as they suggest themselves. Please bring up new topics to add at meetings, in blog comments, or send an e-mail.

Sound good?

Zounds good!

A Day At A Time.

Welcome: If You Think You Belong, You Probably Do. Symptoms:

2011-01-10T23:43:00.000-06:00

"If one advances confidently in the direction of their dreams, and endeavors to lead a life which they have imagined, they will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." --Henry David Thoreau (said to have AD/HD symptoms)

Goals for 2011, not resolutions, but goals:

You can't journey forward if you don't have a direction and target. One of my major goals, the goal that caused me to organize this group and now to attend it, is to take off the chains with which Adult Attention Deficit Disorder has imprisoned my potential, abilities, talents, dreams, accomplishments, successes and all the good things waiting for me in the healing and wholeness of my life. I have no doubts that recovery from ADD/ADHD is entirely possible for all of us whether we have suffered with it since we were kids or discovered it a few months ago. It has cost us enormous losses in terms of career, education, relationships, health and other vulnerable areas of our lives but that pattern can be halted. It can be stopped with help. We don't have to do it alone and that makes the difference.

Maybe you're like me and already in ADD treatment, taking medication and seeing a therapist, but you still feel you're not as whole and healed as you'd like to be. There's no question that recovery takes time. Are we doing all we can to work towards it? Do we work the ADD 12 Steps, which some would say are the recovery program's heart? Do we frequently share our experience, strength and hope with others who share our ADD/ADHD challenges and coping mechanisms? Do we keep up with the latest research which could very well transform our individual recovery program? Do we get out and enjoy the great relief of sharing our personal stories about how this disorder has affected us and interfered with our lives? It's healing and promotes wholeness. It reduces shame and increases self-esteem. You're not the only one.

We have often lived by faking it until we could learn how to go about making it. Now is the time to stop play-acting, and get help for the challenges that keep blocking our personal growth and success.

It's time to accept the illness if you do have ADD/ADHD, and to find new avenues of help if it turns out it's not ADD/ADHD but one of the other conditions or diseases that can resemble it such as depression, substance abuse, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, overactive thyroid or something else that isn't getting treated because it isn't getting diagnosed.

BTW, the correct name today is Adult Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD). You'll still catch me using ADD because that's what I've used for so many years. Don't feel left out if I get distracted or forgetful and leave it out.

What are the possible symptoms of AD/HD? You may have a handful or all of them. You still have the disorder. It's like only being a little bit pregnant to have five or six of them.

Are you or do you have:

*Forgetful?
*Difficulty focusing on a task, especially one you aren't interested in?
*Difficulty following conversations, especially if several people are involved?
*Tend to take on too many projects and then not finish most of them?
*Time-management problems?
*Easily frustrated?
*Frequent moves or job changes?
*A pattern of underachievement or underemployment?
*Difficulties in relationships?
*A substance abuse problem whether it's food, drugs or alcohol?
*Have low self-image or insecurity, especially with new tasks?
*Impulsive in decision-making?
*Tend to take risks?
*Fail to stick with long-term projects?
*Tend not to read or finish books, preferring magazine or newspaper articles?
*Fail to understand social nuances?
*Difficulty with paperwork and fail to get things in on time?
*Difficulty managing finances and checkbook?

Sometimes we don't see ourselves accurately. Low self-esteem can see faults where there are none. It might be helpful to run this list by someone close to you.

The good news is that lifelong problems don't stem from laziness, stupidity, psychosis or selfishness but from a neurological imbalance known as AD/HD. It's entirely fixable and you're in the right place if any of this plays a song you can sing harmony to without reading the score.

2011-01-08T07:34:00.001-06:00

AdultADHDbooks.htm

ADD ANON: The 12-Step ADD Program

2011-01-06T07:14:00.001-06:00

I found this by Googling and it has a has a lot of really helpful information on the ADD 12-Step Program.

It talks about fellowship, sponsorship, the steps and more. I was happy to find this.

Our Press Release Sent to Suburban and City Newspapers, Therapists, Mental Health Clinics, ADD Coaches, and Others

2011-01-02T22:44:00.005-06:00

For Immediate Release

LaGrange, IL January 3, 2011
Contact Person: Maryellen Grady
Home Phone: 708-482-4984

New Group Starting January 19, 2011 for Adult Attention Deficit Disorder:
Group Name: Journey To Joyful Wholeness: Recovery From AD/HD
Meets at: LaGrange Public Library
Downstairs Meeting Room
7:00 - 8:30 p.m.
10 W. Cossitt Avenue (Off of LaGrange Road)
LaGrange, IL 60525 708-352-0576

Group's Blog/Website: http://journeytojoyfulwholeness.blogspot.com/
Group's Email Address: AdultADDLaGrange@yahoo.com

More than 15 million Americans may suffer from the indecision and problems with concentration that characterize adult attention deficit disorder (ADD). Other statistics say it is found in 3 to 5 percent of the population at a ratio of 3 to 1 boys to girls. All those children we hear about having the disorder do not outgrow it. They become adults with adult problems with the illness. There is a strong genetic determinant to ADD and it does seem to run in families.

It is wonderful news that the Chicago area, in particular the near Western suburb of LaGrange, will soon be host to a new support group for this group of people. The contact person who organized the group, Maryellen Grady, said the nearest group for her to get to without a car would have been downtown Chicago--too far to travel on these cold, snowy nights. Ms. Grady has a lot of experience running therapy groups, something she did as a certified substance abuse counselor for over ten years.

The meetings will be held every Wednesday evening starting on January 19, 2011 from 7:00 until 8:30 p.m. They are free and open to anyone who thinks they may be suffering from ADD. Coming to a group meeting is a good way to find out if you really do have adult attention deficit disorder or one of the conditions/diseases which can imitate it and make you think you have it. These include substance abuse, chronic depression, bipolar disorder, thyroid malfunctioning, or other diseases or conditions.

Coming to a group meeting if you know you have AD/HD is like making a New Year's commitment to no longer live at less than our potential and to start enjoying the success that has been waiting for us.

ADD, also known as ADHD when hyperactivity is a factor, and more recently grouped together as AD/HD, can be a debilitating and even life-threatening disorder. It is responsible for poor relationships and dating problems, social ineptitude, divorce and marital problems, parenting difficulties, job losses and unemployment, substance abuse, depression and life-interfering crises.

Typical symptoms of ADD are forgetfulness, distractibility and inability to concentrate and sometimes to read, impulsivity and risk taking, failure to live up to potential, procrastination, inability to complete tasks, lack of organization, excessive worry, low self-esteem and many others some worse than others.

If you know someone who is constantly losing his car keys, forgot his wife's birthday even though it's on Christmas Day, had ADD as a child, and is always late for appointments and work, he may want to check out our group.

The group will be structured around the 12 Steps for ADD. The 12 Step Programs have been so successful in recovery rates for everything from narcotics, to alcohol to food, to you name it, that we would be foolish to not use them in our recovery program. Topics for discussion and question and answer sessions will be chosen by the group. Outside experts such as therapists who specialize in treatment of ADD and ADD coaches will be invited to share their expertise with the group. Group members may elect to ask one to work with them at their standard fee rate.

The group's blog has more information, articles, links and resources. And please let us know by e-mail or in a comment on a blog post if you are coming. You can always call Maryellen if you have questions.

We look forward to welcoming you on January 19th.

The 12 Steps of ADD Will Restore and Heal

2011-01-01T01:02:00.002-06:00

You can't argue with success they say, and when it comes to success the 12-Step Programs have proven for years to have the highest rates of successful recovery for everything from cocaine, alcohol and food to gambling and narcotics. When Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob were organizing Alcoholics Anonymous they consulted with experts in areas as diverse as science, medicine, psychiatry, psychology, theology and more. But they couldn't find a prescription for helping alcoholics get and stay sober. They finally came up with the 12 Steps--"beyond the help of science, medicine, self-will, discipline, and human effort"(A Guide for, p.18).

These steps are miraculously effective and beautiful in their simple profundity. They contain a paradox which has now saved literally millions of lives by suggesting that the only way to find freedom from the bondage of drinking is to accept absolute powerlessness over it. Sobriety cannot be had through will-power or some supreme effort of self-discipline, but only by throwing in the towel and admitting that you can't stop drinking on your own. Surrendering is the only way out of hell and what school of thought in any field was likely to come up with that premise?

So it is with our ADD 12 Steps if we want them to be effective. We, too, must work them as though our very life depended on them because it does. We will not know wholeness and complete healing unless, like the alcoholic who finally admits complete defeat,we square off with the first step of our program with honesty and humility.

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over ADD--that our lives had become unmanageable.

Each person has his or her own personal wake-up call or epiphany when they know without a doubt that our ADD symptoms are interfering with the quality of our lives. We may have spent years in therapy, even gotten an ADD coach, read many books on the topic, gone to ADD support groups but our attempts to control our lives and heal ourselves haven't worked. We had to quit fighting and stop playing God. We admitted our powerlessness and the unmanageability of our lives.

Step 2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

We look within and find a non-distorted image of just what it says--a power greater than ourselves--that is not contaminated by painful memories, full of critical judgments against us and waiting to punish us. We have been punished enough and we have judged ourselves harshly already. You may find Nature, the group, a teacher or mentor or perhaps you are blessed with an intact conception of a spirit greater than yourself that you choose to call God, Creator, Holy Spirit, One, Cosmo or Popeye. It doesn't matter what you call him, her or it. All that matters is that we know we are powerless, our way doesn't work and faith is a gift we receive that comes from grace.

We will be discussing how these steps work in our lives at our group meetings, so for now I will just post them (almost) without comment.

Step 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.

Very important for the agnostic or even atheist or otherwise uncommitted to see that "as we understood God." If you understand your personal "God" to be a river near your home, so be it. Or if your God is the strength of the support group, great. Just have a higher power (H.P.) that is greater so you can be powerless and rest in the certainty that your H.P. is taking care of everything.

Step 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Step 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Step 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Step 7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

(Shortcomings, Bill Wilson said, was just a varied word choice for defects of character.)

Step 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

You are not going to work these steps out of order nor will you work them all next week or next month. They won't seem so horrendous by the time you're ready and actually at the starting point for the step.

Step 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Step 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

Step 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.

Step 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

This is an outline of our spiritual journey. If all the mentions of "God" make you skittish, don't worry. Others without that kind of faith have found a H.P. and worked the program just fine. No one is going to force religion down your throat or make you go to church. Religion does not have a place at our group's meetings nor does politics.

Get the book The Twelve Steps: A Guide for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder. I bought mine in excellent shape but used for less than $4.00 with shipping from Amazon. It will help you understand the 12 steps and how and why to work them. They are essential to real recovery.

What's Some Good News About AD/HD? Let's talk about your positive characteristics.

2010-12-31T07:49:00.038-06:00

People with our disorder have commonly acknowledged and well-researched positive qualities seen often enough that it's fair to stake a claim on them. First, some famous people you might be surprised to learn had/have AD/HD or its traits.

Look at this list of creative, talented people of our time who were labeled with Attention Deficit Disorder. These individuals are a further testament that ADD is not the end of human potential. It is an inspirational and motivational tool you can use.

This is a comprehensive list. Most of these people have been officially diagnosed with
ADD while others prior to the early 1900′s are suspected to have had ADD based on evidence of apparent traits.

Architect

Frank Lloyd Wright (1867-1959)

Artists

August Rodin (1840-1917)
Salvador Dali (1904-1989)
Pablo Picasso (1882-1973)
Vincent Van Gogh (1853-1890)
Leonardo Da Vinci (1452-1519)
Salvador Dali (1904-1989)

Athletes

Terry Bradshaw (1948-Present) Quarterback
Babe Ruth (1895-1948) Baseball
Bruce Jenner (1949-Present) Track and Field
Carl Lewis (1961-Present) Olympic Gold Medalist in Track and Field
Greg Louganis (1960-Present) Olympic Gold Medal Diver
Magic Johnson (1959-Present) Basketball
Michael Jordan (1963-Present) Basketball
Nolan Ryan (1947-Present) Baseball
Jason Kidd (1973-Present) Basketball
Michael Phelps Olympic Gold Medal Swimmer
Pete Rose (1941-Present) Baseball
Alberto Tomba (1966-Present) Alpine Skier

Authors/Writers

Agatha Christie (1890-1976)
Charlotte and Emily Bronte
Edgar Allan Poe (1809-1849)
Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)
F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896-1940)
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
Hans Christian Anderson (1805-1875)
Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
Jules Verne (1828-1905)
Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)
Lewis Carroll (1832-1898)
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)
Samuel Clemens
Emily Dickenson
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Virginia Woolf
William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)

Composers

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756-1791)
Beethoven (1770-1827)
George Frideric Handel (1685-1759)

Entrepreneurs and Business Leaders

Andrew Carnegie (1835-1919)
Malcolm Forbes (1919-1990) Publisher
Henry Ford (1863-1947) Automobile Manufacturer
John D. Rockefeller (1839-1037)
F.W. Woolworth (1852-1919) Department Store Owner
Milton Hershey (1857-1945) Chocolate Entrepreneur
William Randolf Hearst (1863-1951) Newspaper Magnate
William Wrigley, Jr. (1933-1999) Chewing Gum

Explorers

Christopher Columbus
Lewis and Clark
Sir Richard Francis Burton (1821-1890)

Entertainers

Ann Bancroft (1931-Present) Actress
Cher (1946-Present) Actress, Singer
Danny Glover (1947-Present) Actor
Dustin Hoffman (1937-Present) Actor
Jim Carrey (1962-Present) Actor, Comedian
Steve McQueen (1920-1980) Actor
Suzanne Somers (1946-Present) Actress
Stevie Wonder (1950-Present) Singer, Musician
Tom Smothers (1937-Present) Actor, Singer
Tracy Gold (1969-Present) Actress
John Denver (1043-1997) Singer, Musician
Bill Cosby (1937-Present) Actor
George Burns (1896-1996) Actor
George C. Scott (1927-Present) Actor
Harry Belafonte (1927-Present) Actor, Singer
Henry Winkler (1945-Present) Actor, Producer
John Lennon (1940-1980) Singer, Musician
Kirk Douglas (1916-Present) Actor
Lindsay Wagoner (1949-Present) Actress
Mariel Hemingway (1961-Present) Actress
Ozzy Osbourne (1948-Present) Singer
Sylvester Stallone (1946-Present) Actor
Walt Disney (1901-1971) Producer, Screenwriter, Director, Animator
Whoopi Goldberg (1955-Present) Actress, Comedienne
Will Smith (1968-Present) Actor, Rapper
Jack Nicholson
Ty Pennington
Elvis Presley
Evil and Robbie Knievel
Justin Timberlake
Robin Williams (1952-Present) Actor, Comedian

Inventors

Alexander Graham Bell (1847-1922)
Thomas Edison (1847-1931)
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) Politican and Elder Statesman

Photographer

Ansel Adams (1902-1984)

Physicist

Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Political Figures

James Carville
John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) U.S. President
Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) U.S. President
Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890-1969) U.S. President, General
Eleanor Roosevelt (1844-1962) First Lady
Muhammad Anwar el-Sadat (1918-1981) Egyptian President
Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1873) Emperor
Nelson Rockefeller (1908-1979) U.S. Vice President
Prince Charles (1948-Present) Prince of Wales
Robert F. Kennedy (1925-1968) U.S. Attorney General
Winston Churchill (1874-1065) British Prime Minister
Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924) U.S. President

Science

Sir Isaac Newton (1642-1727)
Galileo (1564-1642) Astronomer, Mathematician
Harvey Cushing M.D. (1869-1939) Neurosurgeon
Louis Pasteur (1822-1895)
Nostradamus (1503-1566) Physician
Werner von Braun (1912-1977) Rocket Scientist

Military Figures

Gen. William C. Westmoreland (1914-Present) Vietnam era General
General George Patton (1885-1945) World War II General
Eddie Rickenbacker (1890-1973) World War I Ace

Positive Traits of People with ADD/AD/HD
There are a lot of positive traits that people with ADD AD/HD have. For example, the top 10 characteristics of people with the disorder according to one psychiatric website are: creative, artistic, intuitive, empathetic, visionary, inventive, sensitive, original, loving, exuberant.

There's an excellent list in The Twelve Steps: A Guide for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder, by Friends in Recovery. Here are some of the highlights of this list:

*Intelligent.
*Creative.
*High energy.
*Meet challenges with enthusiasm.
*Intuitive. Easily sense the needs and feelings of others.
*We are humorous and have the ability to make others laugh.
*Hardworking.
*Persevering.
*See risk-taking as a form of excitement, but it can be a strength when used for growth.
*Loyal, honest and trustworthy.
*Flexible and adapt--ready to change.
*Productive and effective if we like what we're doing.
*Very forgiving and rarely hold grudges.

Make a list for yourself of the positive ADD AD/HD traits you feel you share. Then brainstorm the positive characteristics you know you have either because you've been told about them a lot by others, or had some success based on them or just honestly know it.

Now for the true test of what's good about you. This is easy as long as humility isn't your primary characteristic. Go to Hub Pages and look at this list:

Surely you can come up with at least 25-40? 40-60? 60-80? 80-120? Go for broke: All 180 of them, as though you are a happy, healthy child who loves themself.

Nobody is looking. Be as open and honest as you want to be. Aren't you tired of your inner critic's put-downs? Show that critic where she or he hasn't got to you and won't.

JOURNEY TO JOYFUL WHOLENESS: Recovery From AD/HD

OUR GROUP: WHEN, WHERE, WHAT AND WHO--WHY YOU OF COURSE

How Is It Going Out There? Are You A Reader? Let me from you. Comments, questions, sharing.

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SYMBIOSIS IN NATURE AND AT OUR FIRST SUPPORT GROUP MEETING

As Promised In Today's Post, the Promises of the 12 Step Program.

Our Group's Blog: Journey to Joyful Wholeness: Recovery From AD/HD

Getting Started In Our Square Hole World: Who, What, Where, Why and How

Welcome: If You Think You Belong, You Probably Do. Symptoms:

ADD ANON: The 12-Step ADD Program

Our Press Release Sent to Suburban and City Newspapers, Therapists, Mental Health Clinics, ADD Coaches, and Others

The 12 Steps of ADD Will Restore and Heal

What's Some Good News About AD/HD? Let's talk about your positive characteristics.