Journey to the Darkside

My new sexy boots!

2009-11-21T10:35:00.001-08:00

I have been doing a lot of shopping lately for Christmas and came across a great deal this week on something I have been trying to find. I have been trying to find a pair of Goth type of boots with a bigger heel. I have a pair of Fetish boots but they are way too hard to walk in. They hurt my feet too much! The other pair of boots wasn't quite what I was looking for. I was shopping in Value Village this week and saw these and tried them on and they fit me perfectly!! They only cost $8.99 and are practically brand new. They feel so comfortable but yet give me a bit of height and show my legs off nicely. I can't wait to start wearing them to bdsm events!! They will look great with a few different outfits that I have.

I was able to Master Anakin to take a picture of me wearing them this morning. I am laying on our lambskin rug which we bought at Costco. We've put it in front of my fireplace and I've been enjoying some reading on it and relaxing. The rug didn't cost too much but it feels like heaven.

Tonight is date night for Master and I. We've arranged some sitting and are planning to go out for dinner and perhaps watch the UFC fight tonight in a pub somewhere during the Tito Ortiz fight. Tito is SUCH a hottie!! He's fighting Forrest Griffith and I hope Tito wins!! He's my favorite fighter and I really hope he kicks some ass tonight!! I am really excited about our date tonight. We plan to celebrate our 13 year anniversary together. We've got some money to spoil ourselves and maybe even do a bit more shopping. There are a few spanking toys that I'd like to buy and things on my wishlist that I'd like Santa to bring me. *winks*

EDIT: Master Anakin has booked us a deluxe room at a fancy hotel nearby for the night for our anniversary!! Woo hoo!! We have not stayed in a hotel together alone in about a year and a half. I'm so excited! I have plans to bring my new lingerie and bed of roses to the hotel for our evening of romance and fun!! Not sure if we will see the UFC fight in a pub nearby or just spend the night alone in our hotel room doing all kinds of naughty fun. Thank you Master for making this possible tonight!! I can't wait...

Have a good weekend!!

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

The Affair

2009-11-20T09:11:00.000-08:00

I was planning to go out this morning but I started watching Bridges of Madison County and got lost into the movie. This movie triggers a lot of emotion in me. Takes me back to a certain time of my life and the choices that I made. I feel that I can relate to a lot of things that were said and done in the movie. I made a choice 13 years ago (on Nov. 23/96) to tell my best friend that I loved him. I had no idea how he felt about me at the time. He had learned to cover his feelings very well. I decided to risk the friendship to be honest about how I was feeling.

I had spent 7 years trying to deny the feelings that were there. Moments which I held back from touching him or kissing him. We even dated for a while and yet never slept together. I was not being true to myself. My best friend at the time could see inside my soul better than I could. She told me to look what was right in front of me. She knew that he was my soulmate. She could see that I was in a very unhappy marriage and she told me that she felt that I had married the wrong man. I can remember that afternoon back in 1996. I paced around the house and tried to examine my feelings.

I made that phone call to Master. My heart raced when he picked up the phone. I was scared but I knew that I had to tell him about my feelings. I asked him to come over and told him that I needed to talk to him. My ex husband was in school at the time and was in a class. I arranged for sitting for my daughter. I waited for him to arrive and was very nervous. I wondered if I should tell him. I wasn't sure I was ready to leave my marriage. I still loved my ex and wanted to raise a family with him. We had a child together. It wasn't a simple choice. I agonized over that decision.

He had no clue why I had invited him over. He seemed a bit confused at first when I tried to explain. I had no idea what he would say or how he would react to the news that I was in love with him. There was a few moments of silence because he didn't know what to say. I was married at the time. He had tried to encourage me to work on my marriage. He did not want to break-up our family. He liked my ex husband and they were friends. He told me he was in love with me too. We weren't sure we could ever be together though. We were both conflicted but yet we knew there was a connection there that we could not deny any longer.

7 years of build up and that night it exploded. He grabbed my ass and that was it. It was the best sex of my life. The passion was incredible and the intensity of the love between us even though we both knew that it might not last. I stayed up most of the night after he left. I didn't feel ready to leave my marriage but I had found true love. I didn't know what to do. We tried to stay away from each other and not sleep together again.

That lasted about two weeks. He asked me to meet him and I couldn't resist. My ex was going away for a weekend with our daughter. I bought a beautiful dress and got myself ready and packed and went to meet him in Downtown Vancouver. We went to a play that night. Then we went to the Hyatt Hotel where we spent a night of passion and lust together. The sex was forbidden and it was incredible. Our naked bodies dancing together to the music looking out at the downtown lights from the Hyatt. A memory that I will never forget.

Christmas 1996 was a nightmare. My Dad had tried to commit suicide. My mom was out of control. My own life seemed to be spinning out of control also. I was trying to stay in my marriage out of commitment to him. I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth until after Christmas. It felt terrible to be living a lie. I finally broke down and told him what was happening. It was a difficult time in my life. I made some choices which affected a lot of lives. Master became the "other man" and people disliked him and blamed him for causing the break-up of my first marriage. My ex moved out in Febuary that year and I started my life with Master. There were many people who were not happy about that choice.

Some family members would not talk to me (or Master Anakin) for months. It was hard. It took a few years for people to forget and some never did. The affair still gets brought up even after all these years. I can understand why people were upset although I can't feel bad about those choices because it has lead to the life that I have right now. I have a great life with Master Anakin and our family. We have a strong and happy marriage and I was meant to live out the rest of my days with my soulmate.

This scene out of the movie really touches me the most. It is one of my favorite scenes from a movie and makes me think of Anakin. It makes me think of the different choice that I could have made during that time. I could have chosen to stay in that first marriage. I often wonder what would have happened if that had been my choice. I doubt that I would be writing this blog post right now or telling you that I am a slave in a TPE relationship. It's funny how the choices that we make in our life can affect the road that you go down. I sometimes have regrets over that affair but I wouldn't have this life if I had made a different choice. I love Master Anakin and can't imagine my life without him.

Happy 13 year anniversary of being together Master Anakin!! i love you so much....
Our force is strong and forever and i am so glad that I made the decision that night in 1996 to tell you that i love you. i loved you then and i love you now. i will love you always...

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Happy HNT - A punishment caning

2009-11-18T15:25:00.000-08:00

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) everyone! I was punished a few weeks ago and had not been able to have the chance to post about it. We had taken a few pictures of it including this one. You can see my ass with a few cane marks on it getting the cane for some punishment which included breaking 3 of my rules. You can also see his belt hanging over my waist. This was to remind me that impliment was coming next after the caning was done. He can be very sadistic that way. He likes me to be focused on the punishment and remember why it's being done. This was a punishment to remember and learn from.

We own 2 different canes. One is a bamboo one and this one is a metal type of cane which is not flexible and marks very quickly and is one of my least favorite toys that we have. Master Anakin bought this from Home Depot in the gardening department for $1!!! It's kind of funny how sometimes the worst toys are the ones that hardly cost anything and can be bought at the local Dom Depot. lol.

He was brutal with the cane. The strokes were hard and unforgiving. He lectured as the cane got brought down on my poor ass. It didn't take me long until I was crying and my caned bottom was getting some strokes from the leather belt. I know that belt very well. It teaches me some very hard lessons and the strokes hurt from my ass already being bruised and welted from the cane. Leather on top of bruises can sting and hurt! Ouchies!

We have domestic discipline in our relationship and this is how it works. I break the rules and I get the cane. It's used strictly for punishment and it's always been harsh and brutal. I learn from the cane and am grateful for my punishments. They teach me to be a better slave to Darth Vader.

The lesson must have worked well because I had a better week last week and didn't break any rules. The cane can teach some very hard lessons! I was doing very well up until yesterday...

I woke up and got permission to masturbate so I was able to use my Hitachi and have a big orgasm. I did a little bit of chatting on MSN and then got on the phone with Shasta and we had a marathon phone call. I got off the phone and was tempted to start my chores from my chores list but decided to write a blog post instead. I came back from the school and got a phone call from my sister and we wound up talking for hours.

Master walked in the door and the place was a mess and dinner wasn't made and then I started to have attitude with him about it. Big mistake to try to argue with Darth Vader!! The result was a mad Master who sent me to bed early and promised me a punishment spanking in the morning when we had some private time together. I will blog about that punishment in another blog post.

Please leave us a comment and let us know what you think of it. We always love to hear from you. Please check out Osbasso's blog if you are interested in participating in the HNT series.

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Hanging in there..

2009-11-17T13:35:00.000-08:00

It's been a pretty good day so far although I'm having some PMS going on and still a bit stressed out about some life events lately. I spent the beginning of my morning in my bedroom using my Hitachi to masturbate with Master's permission. I had a big orgasm. Then I had a really good talk on the phone with my best friend, Shasta. I am hanging in there today and doing ok.

Master's mom is home from the hospital now but we need to start thinking about home support and a support system for her while she's going through chemo and all her treatments. It's hard to say how much time with her that we'll have left but we are trying to make the most of the time we've had. It is going to make the holidays a bit tough with going through this and also the first Christmas without my Dad. I'm kind of dreading it because of all the emotional stuff.

Master and I were able to get some sitting last night and head out to Costco for dinner and to pick up a few things. We decided to go into the Burnaby one to take a look around at that one. We got the kids some fleece sheets which are awesome!! We got them for ourselves and loved it so much that we decided they should each have their own set. We also picked up a lambskin rug for our livingroom to put beside the fireplace. I thought our cat would love it but she seems to be scared of it right now. She literally jumped up in the air when I moved a little on it. She thought it was alive! LOL!

We were in Burnaby so we decided to head over to The Love Nest to take a look around. We had some money in the bank and decided to splurge a bit on some sexy stuff there. We spent around $200. I bought a new book called To Love, To Obey, To Serve: Diary of an old Guard Slave by V.M. Johnson. I saw the book when Shasta brought it on her trip to Van and I had wanted to read it. I was really happy to pick this up. Thanks for the great recommendation, Shasta! We got some new lube and also some Rock Hard arousal cream for Master. I picked up some of the sexiest lingerie ever!! It's for our anniversary coming up and I can't wait to wear it for Master.

We got a new porno which has the tropics in it and looks really good. I also picked up some Sweet Almond Massage Oil which is my favorite!! I got some new thigh-hi's and also a Bed Of Roses set which I bought in Edmonton a few years ago and really liked. We plan to use this for a special night for our anniversary. We are not sure yet which day we'll be celebrating it but it will be extra special with the romantic purchases. I am really excited to start reading my new book also with the cold winter months coming up. I tend to want to hibernate more and love to read by the fireplace or perhaps in my bedroom under my new fleece sheets.

I've also spoiled myself a little and bought a new purse and clothes and some stuff to make me feel nice. I wrote a blog post about my new haircut and color. I'm back to being a red head again after many years and that feels great!

My force hasn't felt very strong but I'm hanging in there. I am missing Master and hope that we can find some time to play soon. I miss playing with Darth Vader. :)

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Just One Day

2009-11-16T08:30:00.000-08:00

I was sitting there one day watching TV and this song came on. It moved me to tears. The song seemed to say exactly what I had been thinking about. I was wishing I had one more day with my Dad. I've been spending the estate money and thinking of him a lot. It's nice to be able to buy neat stuff but I'd give it all up for one more day with my Dad. I would give it all up if I could just say goodbye to him.

There are moments which are always there. Flashbacks to old memories or hearing an old song which reminds me of him. I was shopping recently in the States and heard his song (song played at his memorial service) come over the loud speaker. It was a bit surreal considering he used to love going down to the States to get groceries. I can hear him telling me what a great deal it is to get gas or pick up some cheese or milk. I like to think that his spirit is still around and looking out for me and my family. I want to try to go visit his site for the holidays and thank him for all the nice gifts that he has given to Anakin and I and our family. I wish he could be here to celebrate the holidays with us....

These are the lyrics to that song that moved me and made me think of him. It's called Just one day...

Better Than Ezra :Just one day lyrics

If you could change the choices that you made, would you do it- today?
If you could spin the world the other way, could you do it on faith?
If time would stand still, What would you do?
What would you say? If everyone you love came back for just one day?

How would it feel if every dream came real?
and all the scars you have fade away for just one day
Imagine all the times you that could take back
What would you have done differently?

Thoughts in your head you never said or
a heart that you broke and left for dead
If all the pain you had could be released
How life flies by.

What would you do?
What would you say?
If everyone you love came back for just one day

How would if feel if every dream came real and
all the scars you have fade away?
for just one day and the night all the good times and the fights
all the take and the give all the moments that we never got to live
Ohhh..... What would you do?

What would you say?
if everyone you love came back for just one day
how would it feel if every dream came real and all the scars you have fade a way
repeat
For just one day (x's 2)
If you could change the choices that you made, would you do it- today?
.........

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Feisty red head!

2009-11-14T09:41:00.001-08:00

I have been making some life changes in the last while. One of these changes was a hair cut and also a new hair color! I've had a few people comment to me lately that they missed my red hair. I was told by my friend, Candycane that I am one of the most beautiful red heads that she knows. She told me that she missed the red hair on me. I have been a blonde for the last 3 years!! I changed my hair color because Master wanted me to go blonde. I had also been growing my hair out. I asked his permission about cutting my hair and then let him know that I had bought a red hair dye. He was excited about the changes and gave me permission to change my hair.

I went to the hair dressers and watched as all the blonde hair fell to the ground. I was surprised how much got cut off but it felt really good. I wanted a new look! Master Anakin had a big smile when he came to pick me up. Last night he helped me dye my hair reddish blonde. I kept staring at myself in the mirror. It's so weird. It's like seeing a part of me which had disappeared for years. I feel like the old me again. It's all so really neat!! I am putting up a picture today that Master Anakin took to show off my red hair. It was taken this morning. I also get to cross something off my bucket list:

#330 -~~Go back to being a red head for a while~~

I went through my bucket list today and noticed that I have been able to accomplish a few different things off my list. These include:

#406 -~~Walk around my old high school grounds~~

I went to my high school during a drive with my Mom. I was able to walk around the old grounds again and remember back to the old days. It was a lot of fun!

#341 -~~Wear a different color of wig that I haven't before~~

I bought a blue wig right before Halloween. I posted a few pictures of me wearing it and also wore it out to a few events like the Rascal's Halloween party and Dead Sexy play party. I love my blue wig! It makes me feel like a different person when I wear it. The naughty girl in me comes out to play!

There is a few different ones that I hope to cross off the list before the end of the year. I have been thinking about travel a lot lately. I think it's time to plan for a trip and an escape from all the stress that has happened this year.

We spent the day at the hospital yesterday with Anakin's Mom. It's a sad situation and been hard to deal with. We plan to go back there today. It's been a very difficult journey for us this year. I've been having a lot of dreams of my Dad lately and thinking about him as I make different choices of what to spend from the estate money. I felt good about making some positive changes for myself out of the money though. He spent a lot of years in my childhood making me feel bad about myself. I can spend the money now to make myself feel better about myself and improve my self esteem. I am glad to have my red hair back and be the feisty red head that I know I can be!

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Being there for Anakin

2009-11-12T22:29:00.001-08:00

We got some bad news tonight about Master Anakin's Mom. She has been rushed to the hospital and isn't doing very well. We found out in June (just after my Dad passed away) that she has terminal cancer. She's been going through chemo and it's been very difficult on her and also Anakin and his family. He's at the hospital right now and I wish I could be with him but I've got the kids in bed and need to try to maintain some kind of structure for them.

We had a really nice evening up until the phone call. I got my hair cut really short and went shopping and then out for sushi with Master. We were relaxing when the phone call came in. I feel bad as I have had to cancel my plans for the weekend. I was going to Sin City and had plans to go with my friend, Shann. I had plans to meet several friends there and had been really looking forward to it. I also packed my bag today and was looking forward to it. I had had a wedding show that I was going to with a friend. I need to be there for Master right now though. Family comes first. He was there for me after my Dad passed away. I need to be there for him with him going through this with his mom. It's been a difficult journey for us this year.

I am sure how much I will be online the next few days. I'm going to be helping Master Anakin and his family out as much as I can. Master is planning to take the day off work tomorrow so he can be there for his mom. I hope he knows that I am there for him and he can count on my support through all of this. It's a hard thing to lose a parent but especially when they have terminal cancer and you have to slowly watch them pass away right in front of your eyes.

You get older and you start to lose people along the way. Grandparents, parents, friends, family members, pets...it's all a part of life but makes you really think about life and not taking it for granted. Things can change in a heartbeat...

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Happy HNT - Sore bottom

2009-11-11T16:28:00.000-08:00

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) everyone! I am putting up a picture that was taken over the summer during some play time with Darth Vader. He pulled down my panties and started to give me a hard cropping. This sometimes produces a natural instinct of trying to cover up my bum with my hands. I am usually saying something like "ouchies" or "that hurts!" and I am usually told to get back down for more pain. He's a mean old man and he's very good at giving me some pretty harsh spankings. I've been blogging about it for years. You've seen lots of pictures of my sore red bottom here at Journey to the Darkside.

We hope you enjoy the picture. Please leave us a comment on it. We always love to hear from you and appreciate the comments a lot on our pictures. It's always really good to hear feedback from our readers. Would you like to see more spanking pictures? Or hear more details about my spankings? Would you like me to post about my punishment spanking last Friday? Please let us know through the comments.

You can check out Osbasso's blog for info on the HNT series and if you would like to participate in it on your own blog! It's a lot of fun for us to put up erotic/spanking/bdsm pictures each week for our readers. We hope everyone enjoys them!

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

The love story of Anakin and padme

2009-11-10T15:22:00.001-08:00

I normally dislike November. It's a rainy and yucky type of month and my SAD (seasonal affective disorder) starts to come out. There is one part of November that is very special and I am glad to celebrate. Master Anakin and I's 13 year anniversary is coming up on the 23rd. It seems really incredible to me that we have been together that long. It's been a really long journey for us. I took a risk that day on the 23rd of November in 1996. I risked my friendship to tell Master that I loved him. I had true feelings inside of me that I could not ignore. I admit that I didn't handle things too well during that time.

I had an affair and many people were upset about it. Some people refused to talk to me for months over it. There were many people who said we would not last. Those people are choking on their words now. I've had a few apologizes over it. Some people did not treat me (and especially Master Anakin) very well. They accused him of being the other man and that he was responsible for the breakup of my first marriage.

My marriage was over months before that happened though. People are going to believe what they want. I don't have any regrets. I saw what was right in front of me. Master is my true soulmate. I love him more than I have ever loved another man. He is everything I could want in a man/Master. He takes care of me and is romantic and loving and yet also a mean old man too which is what I need. I love that he is able to take us to the darkside yet still maintain our friendship and connection to each other. I am such a lucky slave girl!!

I am really excited about our anniversary and starting to think about special plans for it. We have money to splurge and I admit to having a few fantasies of a vacation somewhere warm and tropical. Maybe somewhere like Las Vegas. *hint hint* Ahhhh...I've been to Vegas 5 times and I have not been there in years. It's time to go back to the beginning....go back to the place which Master Anakin proposed to me and this time we will be married. Maybe we can go back there for 2010. It will be exactly 10 years since I was last there in Viva Las Vegas.

Our love story will continue for as long as we are alive. I like to believe that we will be together even after we have both passed away. I love Master Anakin and always will. I truly, deeply, love him. I am so thankful for our love and the wonderful life that we have created. Our journey is not over. There is still so much to look forward to...our force is strong.

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2009

2009-11-09T08:47:00.000-08:00

It's Monday and onto another week. At least there is the holiday this week with Remembrance Day so Master and my kids are off for it. It was a pretty good weekend. My Dad's estate was settled on Friday. I got my punishment spanking on Friday night and hope to write about it sometime this week. Saturday was spent Christmas shopping and relaxing with a movie.

Yesterday I went to the United States to get some really neat groceries that we don't have in Canada. I also got to catch up with an old friend of mine and get reconnected again. I woke up this morning and found out that we have been listed on the Top 100 Sex Bloggers for 2009. We were on the list in 2008 and we both feel honored again to be on the list again for 2009! Thank you for all who nominated us and have supported us and been there for us through our Journey...our Journey to the Darkside.

Here is the list for the Top 100 Sex Bloggers for 2009: (we are #62 and #63)

Coquitten (website)
Alexa (website)
AAG (website)
Bad, Bad Girl (website)
TBK (website)
Mistress Matisse (website)
Miss Mia (website)
Thursday’s Child (website)
Roger (website)
Sinclair (website)
Sylvanus…
and Mina (website)
Natt Nightly (website)
Jake (website)
Lyn (website)
Adriana Ravenlust (website)
Sexy Sadie (website)
Shay (website)
Lilly (website)
Nadia (website)
Joan Price (website)
Madison (website)
Anal Amy (website)
Z (website)
Essin Em (website)
Easily Aroused (website)
Blacksilk (website)
Sleeping Dreamer (website)
Melen…
and rayne…
and Master KKT…
and cinnamon (website)
That Toy Chick (website)
Red (website)
Tom Allen (website)
Vix (website)
Coy Pink (website)
Lady Pandorah (website)
BackseatBoohoo (website)
Epiphora (website)
Aurore (website)
Miss KissThis (website)
Storm (website)
Ron Jazz (website)
Josie Jacobs (website)
Distracted (website)
Deviant Dyke (website)
Joanna Cake (website)
Sapphire Jay (website)
Sarah (website)
Kimberly (website)
Duchess (website)
Figleaf (website)
The Caged Songbird (website)
Kaya (website)
Ms. Justine (website)
Luka (website)
Ang (website)
Perverted Negress (website)
Harlot (website)
Vixen (website)
Anakan…
and Padme (website)
Wilhemina (website)
Axe (website)
Amber (website)
Lucy Vonne (website)
Rogue (website)
SSS (website)
Kyle (website)
Amorous Rocker (website)
Sera (website)
Lolita Wolf (website)
Elle (website)
Scarlet St Syr (website)
Charlotte Thorpe (website)
An Unassuming Girl (website)
Maymay (website)
True Pleasure (website)
Bad Influence Girl (website)
Diva (website)
Raven Quince (website)
Autumn (website)
Vanilla Impaired (website)
Wil (website)
Robin (website)
Panthera Pardus (website)
Ell (website)
Miss Communication…
and Captain Pants…
and A.E. (website)
Roxy (website)
Secretly Naughty (website)
Abby Williams (website)
Subheart (website)
Sequoia Redd (website)
Innocent Loveboy (website)
Liljgrrl…
and Nawa*G (website)
YOU! As always that last person on the list is you. Please, please, please leave a comment below promoting your own blog (or the blog of someone you love). Links are welcome, as long as they lead us to a sex-related blog, not a retail website or porn aggregation site.

.....

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

A chapter is closed

2009-11-06T19:39:00.001-08:00

I had thought about writing this blog post tomorrow when I'm a bit more sober but I decided to go ahead and write. I've been feeling very emotional tonight and had a few emotional breakdowns and have gotten into the merlot. My Dad passed away about six months ago. I have been waiting for the estate to get settled. It was hard because he did a homemade will and my sister wound up doing a lot of the work to get it done. I had thought that it would be another week for the settlement until my sister phoned and left me an urgent message tonight to phone her. The estate is settled. The money was deposited and the chapter is closed. I had a very emotional conversation with her on the phone about it all.

It was a bittersweet moment for me. Usually someone is happy when they get a bunch of money come into their bank account. All I could do was cry though. I felt conflicted. I got a lot of money but the price was very high for it. I had to lose my Dad in order for me to get it. I had another dream of my Dad last night and it caused me some insomnia. I've been dreaming of him a lot lately. I think that he would have wanted me to have this money before Christmas. He was all about the holidays. We would sometime go months without speaking but we would always resolve things around the holidays. I don't know how to have Christmas without him. I feel this was his final gift to me and it is a very bittersweet moment for me. The chapter is closed but he's gone. I feel peace but yet so much intense sadness in my heart.

It's been a really, really rough week for me. I screwed up big time!! I broke 3 major rules and misbehaved terribly. I have a punishment coming to me that involves the cane. I have not had a caning in a very long time but I know it's deserved. I wish I could be a better slave. I don't know what's been wrong with me lately. I think I am trying to deal with all the major changes that are happening in my life.

I'd like to thank all the people who have been there for me the last few months with losing my Dad. It was a very difficult chapter in my life and there were some people who supported me and were there for me. They know who they are. Thank you!! I know I have not been easy to be around and I appreciate all the love and support from those that I love and care about. I hope that I can find some peace from this chapter being closed. It's been a long and difficult journey and I hope I can find some happiness within the sadness that I am feeling tonight.

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Happy HNT - My spanked bottom

2009-11-04T10:19:00.000-08:00

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) everyone! This picture was taken at the beginning of October. Master Anakin had taken the day off work and we had a bit of time to play so he took me upstairs and got me to dress comfortably in my lingerie but I was told not to wear any panties. He used his belt on my poor bottom and used the leather to spank me. He also used a paddle to give me a few hard strokes to finish it off. My ass was red and marked and he took this picture of it just after spanking me. You can get a glimpse of my lower back tattoo also in the picture.

The craving for a spanking has gotten stronger each day. We have not played in almost 3 weeks and all I can think about today is getting my bottom spanked. It's like an itch that I can't scratch. I really hope that there can be some play time this weekend with Darth Vader. I need a spanking and he knows how to spank hard!! I really hope we can squeeze some time in and play!! *crosses fingers*

Please leave us a comment on our HNT picture. We really enjoy hearing from you and getting feedback on our pictures. Check out Osbasso's blog if you are interested in participating in the HNT series.

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Moving forward on my journey

2009-11-03T11:04:00.000-08:00

I feel like there is so much passion in me today. A desire to escape into some play time and lots of sex!! I'm horny and I'd love to be able to have a few hours to play with Darth Vader. The timing just hasn't worked out for us to be able to do that lately and it's frustrating me. The last time we played together was at Rascal's which was almost 3 weeks ago!! It's been one thing after another lately. I was feeling horny yesterday so he allowed me permission to masturbate but all that did was add fuel to the fire. I thought about a rough fantasy with Master and was able to make myself cum but I desired more. I need a beating. Today it is all I can think about. The craving is so strong.

It does not help that I've been having some naughty chats on MSN lately with a few different people. That's helped me to get very horny sometimes and inspire some fantasies. I've also got a crush on a really sexy girl who I've been getting to know. *smiles* I've been getting to know a couple (Galen and fire) and there has been some naughty chatting and also some sexy possibilities happening. I am hoping to go to Sin City (a bdsm club in Vancouver) with them next weekend for my first time! I met Galen and fire at the Taboo Naughty but Nice show in January. I saw them there and felt some chemistry happening and had wanted to have a drink with them or maybe do some shopping together. I was with Shiro at the time though and he didn't seem very interested in that so it didn't happen.

I friended them on Fetlife (I am "padmeamidala" on Fetlife in case you want to add me to your friend's list) and we've been getting to know each other. I am glad to have found another woman that I have so much in common with. I've talked to fire on the phone and we have grown close and I am really happy to have some new friends in my life with the possibility of perhaps more happening.

There have been a few other possibilities happening with the poly aspect of our relationship although mostly all casual types of play. I played with my friend, Shann at the Dead Sexy party last Friday and am hoping we can play again sometime. I've also talked to my friend, Doc about doing some possible play with her too sometime. It's nice to have some casual play partners that I can get together with and spank and be able to Top. Master Anakin is always looking for casual play partners too that he can spank and have fun with! He sure spanks hard though! Just ask Doc about that and the time he spanked her at Rascal's. *grins*

November is starting to look like a really good month for events and some fun ahead. This weekend is the Taboo show. I'm not sure if we are going yet but it's a possibility. Next weekend is Sin City!! Rascal's is on the 21st! We are also hoping to go to a play party at LB's at the end of the month. AND today is the first munch in our area and I am hosting it with my friend, Shann. I am really excited that a few people have said they are coming to the munch tonight! I have not been to one in over a year and it's exciting to be hosting this one and organizing it. It's a very neat feeling to host a munch.

I have a feeling that there will be lots to blog about this month! It's been great to be getting out to events again and meeting some new friends and also some possibilities happening with the poly again. It's been a long time since I opened my heart up to someone other than Master Anakin and I feel ready to date again and see what happens. My Dad's estate is also about to be settled any day and I feel that chapter is about to be closed. The past is the past and I'm moving forward on my journey. A new chapter begins...

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

The Dead Sexy woman's play party

2009-10-31T13:30:00.001-07:00

I hope everyone had a good Halloween! I've had a really good weekend so far. Friday was the Dead Sexy Play party. It is an all girl's play party. No boys are allowed! I was pretty nervous about going but curious to see what it would be like. My friend, Shann picked me up around 6 pm on Friday night. We headed to the Old Spaghetti Factory for dinner. She wore her costume to the restaurant and looked fantastic! She wore a really sexy Geisha costume with a sexy corset. I ordered Chicken Penne and a big bellini drink. It calmed my nerves a bit.

I enjoyed getting to know Shann and had a nice dinner out with her. We headed out to Vancouver to the Wise Hall which is where the Rascal's play parties are normally held. I got changed as soon as we got there. I got dressed into my red corset and long black suede skirt, fishnet, leather boots and blue wig. I also had my feather boa to complete the sexy outfit. I put up a picture today of me wearing my red collar and Goth necklace that I got for Halloween. I was going to wear a new mask I got but decided against it. I didn't see anyone else wearing masks and actually felt a bit overdressed. There was a lot of women wearing leather. A lot of leather dykes. Leather vests and pants and a few women who looked a lot like men. I felt like a femme in the midst of a lot of butch women dressed in leather.

The atmosphere in the Dead Sexy party was pretty nice and intimate. It was set up a lot different than Rascal's complete with a few sex swings and tables for playing and the St. Andrew's cross and such. There was some music going on in the background and the lighting was low. They had created a nice play area including an age play area and also a puppy play one too. About 50 people came to the event. I was expecting a lot more people.

I was a bit disappointed that not many people came up to us to talk. The organizer did say hello but most people seemed into their own groups and I didn't recognize too many people from other events. I tried to approach someone after going to the concession and she wasn't too friendly. I was hoping to meet some new friends and that didn't really happen at the Dead Sexy party. I wish it had been more social.

There was a few awkward moments in the beginning of the night. I watched a few interesting scenes. There was some single tail action happening and also a girl dressed up as a bunny hopping around. I saw a dog fight (they were pretending to be dogs) between two dykes dressed in leather. There was one girl ganged up on by a gang of dykes and that was pretty hot to watch. One woman was in a cage while the other teased and taunted her. I enjoyed watching women making out with and kissing women. I had wanted to kiss Shann at one point but held back.

I eventually mentioned to Shann that I had brought my toys. I made sure to tell her that there was no expectations and she didn't have to play if she didn't want to. She wanted to see my toys and we talked a bit about what she likes and limits. I have only Topped a few women and was nervous about it and trying to make sure I was doing a good job of it. She liked most of the spanking toys except the chain flogger. I don't really blame her! That toy is a real mean one.

We went up to the play area and I laid out my toys and she laid down on the spanking table. She was able to grip the end part of it. She took off her Geisha robe and got down to her panties and thigh-hi's. She had a beautiful back tattoo which I got to run my hands over. I noticed her black lace panties and was surprised! She was wearing the same panties as me! We had both bought ours at the same place. That gave us both a bit of a giggle.

I started out with a slow warm up. I started with my hand and gave her an erotic hand spanking. I then started to flow her with the suede flogger I brought. She had mentioned to me that she has never been flogged before. I was happy to give her the first time of being flogged and tried to make it an enjoyable experience for her. I would give her some lighter strokes and then surprise her with a harder hit which made her squirm around and squeal at times. She had such a cute red bottom which was warm to the touch. I enjoyed spanking and flogging her bum and also trying to give plenty of erotic touching and rubbing. I even gave her a bit of tickle torture with the erotic feather that I brought.

The people beside us playing were also spanking and I could hear a few hits with a paddle and decided to join in the with the fun. I brought out the leather paddle and gave her a few good hard strokes with it. Her bottom turned a nice shade of red after a while. I kissed her bum better in the midst of some hard strokes. I also did some play bites and lots and lots of rubbing. I used my feather to tease her red bottom and give her a different feel to the spanking.

I noticed a few people watching me spank her. One girl did a really big smile at me as I was paddling her bum. I gave her a few really hard strokes and she used her safeword. I made sure to stroke her hair and kiss her head and tell her what a good girl she was. She was floating in a very deep subspace. I got her a blanket and got her a chair and gave her lots of hugs as well as cleaned up our play area.

We spent a bit of time together and watched a few other scenes happening. There was one girl getting caned so hard that she was bleeding. The woman caning her had some impressive whip marks on her back. There was some fisting action happening on one of the sex swings. I could hear the woman moaning and having orgasms. I watched two really sexy women make out with one another. I could feel the heat coming from them and it turned me on.

A pretty blonde girl turned around and started talking to us. She had smiled at me while I was paddling Shann. I was almost tempted to ask her to go up for a spanking but I wasn't sure that was a good idea to leave Shann when she was in subspace and felt that might be rude. We talked for a while and then left to head back home. We pulled up to the front of my place and kissed goodbye. I was pretty happy after a wonderful night out with a good friend. It was a lot of fun.

Shann and I are hosting a munch next week and have talked about going to other events together. I think it would be great to find others female which I can have casual play with. I enjoy spanking women and really enjoyed being able to Top Shann. I hope she will let me play with her again one day!

Halloween was so much fun and a great day. I even managed to squeeze in a quick fuck with Master while the kids were out trick or treating. It was one of the best Halloween nights ever!! October has been a really good month full of fun times and memorial events like the Dead Sexy Party!!

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-30T12:11:00.001-07:00

Hot Halloween Graphics!

Happy HNT - Happy Halloween!

2009-10-28T09:14:00.000-07:00

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) everyone! We've got a special HNT picture to put up this week for Halloween. I was dressed up in my sexy vampire costume one year for Halloween complete with vampire fangs. Master added the bats which also helped to cover up my face a bit for privacy. He also added this really cool dark castle which probably has lots of vampires in it. I also LOVE the Darth Vader pumpkin. So neat! I've always had a fascination with vampires. I think I've passed it on to my daughter. She has been watching The Vampire Diaries as well as was obsessed with Twilight and many of the vampire movies like Queen of the Damned. She has also worn my vampire costume to a school event.

Halloween is just around the corner. I've been watching lots of horror movies lately and enjoying the feel of this time of the year. Halloween has always been my favorite time of the year. This weekend is going to be amazing and I can't wait!! I am going to my first Queer Woman's play party on Friday night. The Dead Sexy play party which is being held at the same location as Rascal's. My friend, Shann and I met for a coffee a few weeks ago and she asked me to go to this event and I think it should be a lot of fun! Shann and I are hosting a munch together in our area and that starts next Tuesday.

Friday is going to be fun! I have no clue what to wear or even what to expect from this type of event. I'm sure I'll have lots to blog about. Saturday is Halloween! Wooo hoooo!! We have lots family plans with our kids. We've decorated our place and plan to watch lots of scary movies and enjoy a night with our kids. Leia is having a sleepover so it should be a pretty fun evening for them. We will be carving our pumpkins tomorrow night. What are your plans for Halloween this weekend?

Sunday is a munch and I am trying to find a ride to it so I can go. I have not been to a munch in a year. I'd like to see my friends again and hope that is possible. If not, there is the munch on Tuesday which I will be hosting with my friend, Shann. It's exciting to be hosting a new one and I hope lots of people will show up for it.

Happy Halloween everyone!

Please leave us a comment. We'd love to hear from you. Also, please check out Osbasso's blog if you are interested in participating in the HNT series.

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Boobees

2009-10-26T10:46:00.001-07:00

I hope everyone had a good weekend. I had a nice weekend with Master and also our family. I started my period yesterday so I've been feeling very tired and kind of ill. I'm in hibernation mode and don't feel like doing much right now. I've been spending lots of time watching horror movies and relaxing by our gas fireplace. It's one of my favorite things to do to relax during the cold months. Halloween is just around the corner! My favorite time of the year. I'm so excited! I've got a few things to look forward to this weekend for Halloween. I'm so glad it's on a Saturday this year! Woot!

I've got a huge bite mark on my neck from Master Anakin. It's so big that I think I better cover it up when I go out. People might think I've gotten bit from a vampire!!

This picture is so cute and it's perfect for Halloween! A couple of "boobees" for your Halloween enjoyment. :)

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

UFC pub night with Master Anakin

2009-10-25T11:05:00.000-07:00

It's been a pretty good weekend so far. Friday night with our movie & merlot night. We watched a really good horror movie called Trick R Treat. It was really good and we enjoyed watching it. I also enjoyed some merlot and cuddle time with Master. We stayed up very late so we could enjoy a quickie together. I mentioned how much I needed cock and he was very happy to oblige me. He gave me a big orgasm and we fell asleep in each others arms.

I woke up yesterday with no plans for the day. I had been invited out to Sin City and discussed it with Master. He had some different plans in mind for us and told me that I can go to Sin City but another time. He arranged sitting with our daughter and told her she could invite a friend over to watch Halloween movies with our son and have a fun evening in. He wanted to take me out on a date. I love date nights with Master. I was really looking forward to it.

We spent the day shopping for Halloween. We bought our pumpkins and some new decorations and put them up. The kids are ready also with their costumes for Halloween. Leia has decided to dress up even though she is not going trick or treating this year. We got ready for our date and headed out for the night. UFC 104 was last night and Master had been really wanting to see it. BOTH of us had it on our bucket lists!!

We've been talking about seeing it in a pub for a long time now. We've seen UFC fights on the TV but never at any pubs or public places. He looked up the places that were having it and decided on the Grand Villa Casino in Burnaby. They have a pub there but it was packed and there was only standing room available. We did a bit of gambling and I won a few bucks and then we left to go to another pub.

We headed to Metrotown to the Station Square Pub. It used to be a club called Connections and we used to frequent it when we were a lot younger. I've stumbled out of there a few times intoxicated. lol. Lots of fun times! We thought it would be neat to go there again. We got really good seats and ordered some pub foods and a pint of beer for me. It was really great atmosphere at the pub and we got to watch the UFC fights on the big screen tv there. There was a few comments after the Shogun fight. One guy yelled "bullshit" pretty loud and some people seemed pretty upset and felt he got ripped off with losing the fight. We got to people watch also. There was an interesting couple there that I overheard on their date. Had a few laughs at the way the girl was treating the guy. I think the guy wanted to get lucky but she was making it very difficult for him.

I noticed a few guys checking me out. One particular guy was very obvious when he checked out my ass as I walked by. I was wearing my tight black pants which show off my ass. It felt great! I mentioned to Master that I notice more men checking me out now that I am a blonde. I got a bit tipsy after the second pint of beer. We spent a few hours enjoying the fights and food and drinks. It was a really great time!! This is the first thing that both of us can cross off our bucket lists!!

#530 -~~Watch a UFC fight at a bar or pub~~

Local interests:~~See a UFC fight at a bar~~

The fight was over and a band started up and we decided to leave. We had a great idea to go looking for a strip club. We have not seen the female strippers together in a long time and thought this would be a lot of fun. The evening was still young and we were both wanting to go somewhere fun. Mugs N Jugs is closed in New Westminster at the place we used to go. We had heard it moved to King George Highway so we headed into Surrey to go look for it. We were not able to find it and it turns out is near the Turf Hotel in Surrey. We had no idea! Makes perfect sense though considering the location. That is a very rough part of town in Surrey. I'll have to add that to the bucket list though to go see the female strippers with Master. He's promised me we'll have a night out doing that sometime soon.

We drove around a lot of our old hangouts and blared 80's music from our car. It felt like a bunch of punks driving around looking for trouble. The sounds of Billy Idol and ACDC filled the car. It was so much fun driving around the streets and checking out all the old places we used to go to. We eventually wound up at Tim Hortons to get some donuts and had a really good talk about the good old days. We got home around midnight and spent another hour talking before finally going to bed together. It was a really fun night!! I really love date nights with Master and this one was a very special one for me. :)

I am so excited that Halloween is just around the corner. Next weekend should be a lot of fun! I can't wait!! I am planning on going to a Dead Sexy Queer woman's play party with a good friend of mine next Friday. That should be pretty interesting. We also have a family night planned at our home with our children for Halloween on Saturday. This is my favorite time of year! I am putting up a picture that Master took with our camera yesterday. Autumn is here and so is Halloween! Leaves are on the ground and there is a chill in the air. We even had some fog around certain parts of the city. What are your plans for Halloween this year?

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

The Candycane chapter

2009-10-23T10:38:00.001-07:00

It's been a really difficult week for me. We had to tell our kids some very difficult news last night about their Grandma. Master's Mom is very sick with terminal cancer and that was hard to tell our kids. My heart broke and I feel very emotional with seeing my kids hurting. My son is drawing a picture right now for his Grandma to make her feel better. It's been a difficult week for several reasons. My life is changing fast. I feel like a new chapter is starting in my life.

I found out some really exciting news today. It gave me a smile when I didn't think that anything would. My old friend, C (Master used to call her Candycane) is pregnant with her 4th child!! She wanted to share that piece of good news with me. Candycane and I were best friends in high school (BFF's) and during our early 20's. We have a hell of a history together. *Really* wild times!! Candycane was reckless and crazy. She tried to run over boyfriend when she found out he cheated on her. I was in the car and seriously thought she was going to kill him. There were really WILD parties in our 20's!! We spent a lot of weekends together drinking Bacardi Rum and cokes. We moved closer to her and her ex husband back in 2001.

I would go over and spend the night at her and her husband's house. They had an air mattress and we would get hammered and sometimes some very sexual things would happen. There was plenty of kissing with C and making out for the boys. (Master Anakin and her husband) I had a real serious crush on her brother. Boy that guy was a total hottie! I always hoped I might wind up in the sack with him one day. It is too bad I wasn't blogging during that year. I would have been able to write some really fun adventurous blog posts for you.

One night was particularly wild. A threesome almost happened. C and I were doing shots and then the dirty dancing started. We were bad to the bone. Very, very naughty girls. Kissing and hands were going everywhere. Her husband watched us and got hard. Then he started fucking her right in front of me. *whew* That night was crazy. The next day we both went on a date to see her lover. I could never understand how she was able to keep 2 affairs going as well as a marriage. Eventually it caught up to Candycane and the "perfect marriage" (she used to say to me that she had the perfect marriage) ended in total destruction. Her husband packed up his bags one night and left her.

Her husband and her had a pretty messy divorce. I couldn't handle the drama. The parties were out of control. I had to eventually walk away from the friendship because it felt like things were out of control. I had gained 20 pounds and the partying was starting to take over my life. I didn't talk to Candycane until recently. She e-mailed me just after my Dad passed away. Her Dad died in a tragic accident and she wanted to pass along her condolences. E-mails were exchanged and we've gotten back in touch with one another.

She has been really supportive of me during difficult times recently. Her Grandma is not doing very well and either is mine. We've been leaning on each other a lot. I was really happy to hear her good news today. She's been talking about having a coffee together sometime soon. Maybe it's time to see her again. I think our lives have changed a lot. We've both gone through some very challenging things in our lives. It tends to bond two people together. I think we both toned down the partying. Don't get me wrong. I still like to party once in a while but it's not all the time like it was when I was younger. We are both in our 30's and have moved on from that chapter of our lives with the partying. I am glad for the memories but am happy that we are able to be there for each other during difficult times recently.

I feel like I owe Candycane a lot. She was the one who encouraged me to tell Master my feelings. She saw that we were soulmates. She believed in our love. She supported me during our affair when a lot of other people turned their backs on us. She has shown me a lot of support during the most difficult times of my life...problems in my pregnancies, miscarriages, my divorce, my car accident, deaths, and many other things. She encouraged me to pursue my dreams of a life with Master. I'm very grateful for that. Who knows where my life would be right now if that had not happened.

She is now married to her one lover. It's kind of interesting that I am also married to my lover also. Master Anakin was the other man in my first marriage. Who would have thought that her and I would have wound up divorced and remarried to our lovers? Strange. I believe Candycane and I will be friends until the end. We may sometimes have a bend in the fork of our friendship but we always wind up back together again. It's funny how some friendships are like that. They are meant to be forever.

It's amazing to me that it's been almost 20 years since I was in high school. What happened to those wild crazy years? I wouldn't trade them for the world though. They are a big part of my history. I have been doing a lot of reflecting about the past lately and also life. Maybe this is a midlife crisis. Maybe it's due to the events of 2009 so far. I lost 3 Aunts. One of them committed suicide. Then I lost my Dad very suddenly. Then I found out my Mother-in-law had terminal cancer. My Grandma isn't doing very well either. This year has been challenging and nothing has worked out the way I thought it would. I had no idea that my old friend, Candycane would come back into my life after we were apart for so many years.

I just want this year to be over. I need something to look forward to. I have many dreams and I wonder if I will be able to reach them. The journey is a dark one sometimes but there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Happy HNT - Sexy Goth Schoolgirl

2009-10-21T19:20:00.000-07:00

Happy HNT everyone. I wanted to share a picture of My slave in the sexy Goth School costume she wore to the Rascal's BDSM event last weekend. I think she looked really hot in her red schoolgirl skirt, sexy goth boots, and skimpy white schoolgirl top. It was so hot to play with her at Rascal's. I lifted her short schoolgirl skirt and gave her one hell of a spanking with my briefcase full of hurt. She writhed in pain, I comforted her, kissed her on the forehead, and did it all again.

Be sure to click on the picture to enlarge it for a better look. Happy HNT everyone ; please leave us a comment! Please check out Osbasso's blog if you are interested in participating in the HNT series.

May the Force be with you.

~Anakin

A wild and fun weekend with Shasta and Master Anakin!

2009-10-20T11:27:00.001-07:00

I have been trying to figure out a way to write this blog post. I had a really terrific and fun weekend but the fallout from the weekend hasn't been too good. I am hesitant about what to write. This blog is very public and lots of people can know my feelings. It makes me feel very exposed emotionally. I want to try to be honest about my feelings but I also don't want to create a lot of drama by doing it. It's hard for me to blog about events also.

Some people have talked to me about privacy while at Rascal's. (or other bdsm events) At a lot of bdsm play parties and events...what happens there, stays there. I used to talk about details a lot more but some people have had a problem with it. I also plan to leave some details out of this blog post because I'd rather keep some things private. Here is a summary of the weekend:

...

We dropped off our kids at around 7 pm on Friday night. Master decided to take me out for dinner to Swiss Chalet. We had a really delicious dinner and then headed to to the movies to see ZombieLand. The movie surprised me. I thought it was a really good movie. I enjoyed it with Master. We went home and had some quick sex and he gave me an orgasm before bed. I fell asleep quickly but got up very early with insomnia. I was really excited about seeing my best friend, Shasta. I could not sleep. It took a lot of work to get back to sleep until 8 am.

We got ready and drove out to the skytrain. I could tell that Master was excited about meeting her also. There was a certain atmosphere of energy in the car heading to pick her up. She texted us and we picked her up before heading to the local mall. I got my make-up done and also my eyebrows waxed. OMG! My eyebrows were so sore!! She did a really great job on my make-up. I felt very pretty afterwords.

Shasta enjoyed some shopping while I got it done. Then we enjoyed a coffee together. It was really wonderful to finally be able to share one in person with her. Master had twittered about us "getting into trouble at the mall" and we both shared a giggle about that. How much trouble can two sexy sex bloggers get into at the mall? *smiles*

We headed back to our place and had a visit there and I showed her around the house. I did my nails and we both figured out our costumes and packed up our bags for Rascal's. Everyone was very excited about it! We got in the car and headed out to downtown Vancouver. I wish the weather had been better. It was pouring rain and sometimes it was so heavy that streets were flooding. I wore my sandals which wasn't a smart idea. My feet were so cold by the time we got to Rascal's.

We took her to the Vancouver Lookout first. It's the same place I took Daemon last year when we had our special romantic date together. I think it's a beautiful place to take tourists or people who have not seen the Top of Vancouver before. It was Shasta and Master Anakin's first time there. They took lots of pictures. I spent a bit of time off on my own. I lost myself in flashbacks at certain times. I kept picturing Daemon there and us cuddling and kissing as we looked out at the city. It made me feel a bit of sadness during a few moments there. I'm glad that I was able to go back though and create a new memory there.

We drove Shasta around Stanley Park after the Lookout. It's a great way to show tourists the city and one of the biggest and most popular parks around Vancouver. It started to pour rain though. Yuck! It's a much prettier park in the sunshine. Shasta and Master both enjoyed taking pictures around the park. We parked near Denman Street and looked for an adult store which we had seen before. I had wanted to take Shasta there. Unfortunately it seems to have moved.

We went to a fabulous sushi restaurant on Denman street. They had just opened and had a discount and it looked like a good one to try. We ordered the Sushi boat. OMG!! It was sooooo good!! We all shared a lot of laughs and enjoyed the dinner together. We drove around a bit and then went to Little Sister's bookstore on Davie Street. I looked at toys but decided to wait until Rascal's to buy one. I knew that "bound2please" vendor was going to be there and I knew there might be better toys to see there.

We got to Rascal's and went inside to get changed. I wore my blue wig and schoolgirl skirt, fishnets, goth boots (borrowed from Shasta) and white sexy top. I had also picked up a beautiful goth necklace to go with it. Shasta was the pink girl in her pink wig and tutu and looking very sexy! We were ready for Rascal's! Master wore his suit and looked very handsome!! He looked and smelled (with his axe cologne) very nice. Shasta and I got our drinks and enjoyed a vodka/7 and some giggles and I started cuddling up to Master a lot. Master seemed a lot more relaxed this time at Rascal's. I think because it was his second time and he was more familiar with it.

We went up to play first in the private area. He used all the toys from the toy bag. He used the pinwheel first to tease my nipples and skin. Then he got me to lay down on the table and he retrained me using blue and white rope. OMG was my ass sore when he was done with it!! He spanked me with his belt, paddles, leather, whips....you name it!! Ouchies!! We decided to cut our play short because I had assumed (which I shouldn't have done) that I was going to be playing with someone else. That didn't happen unfortunately. I asked Master if he wanted to play in public and was surprised when he agreed!

He had bought a new toy from the vendor for my birthday. I put up a picture of what that toy looks like! It's got a rough side and a smooth type of side. It's a pretty wicked little toy! I was really surprised when he agreed to play in public. I know he's a bit shy about that and I was really happy to have that experience with him for the first time. We went over to the spanking bench and he put me onto it and got me to raise up my schoolgirl skirt and started to spank me.

He used the Anakin's paddle and new one (for my birthday spanks) many times and a few strokes made me cry out and also call him a few names. lol. He can be a mean old man! Of course he gave me stronger strokes and I noticed him stopping the play a few times to clean up a few blood drops. We played very heavy that night. You can see the bruises that were on my ass in a picture I put up yesterday. My ass has not marked like that in a long, long time!! It's STILL got bruises on it from the play on Saturday!! and my ass does not mark like that usually! Ouchies!! That's what I get for playing with Darth Vader!! :)

We came home and ate our cupcakes (Shasta and I bought one from the Cupcake store) and headed to bed. We got up and ate breakfast (Thank you Master Anakin for making it) and then to the Mall to pick up a few things before the beach. White Rock was fabulous!! The sun came out just in time to visit the ocean. Shasta had not been to an ocean in ten years. She looked like she really enjoyed herself. She walked along the shore and picked up shells and enjoyed the beach with us. We all enjoyed the ocean air and atmosphere down in White Rock. I really love going there!! It's one of my favorite places in Vancouver.

We had delicious fish n chips from Docks Restaurant. We enjoyed lunch and started to head back to the car. I wanted that day to last forever. It felt surreal to be down at the ocean with my two favorite people enjoying a beautiful sunny day there! It was so nice being there with Shasta and it was hard to start heading to the airport. I noticed the car was quiet sometimes. I think we all were feeling a bit sad to see the weekend end. We came into the airport so I could use the bathroom and we also had some Tim Hortons together. Master seemed happy to watch the airplanes taking off.

We said goodbye to Shasta and I got emotional. It was hard to see her go. I am not sure when we can see each other again. It was such a small amount of time together and we had squeezed so much into that weekend. I didn't want it to end. We got in the car and I cried most of the way home. It was *very* hard to come down from the weekend. I could barely get out of bed yesterday and went to bed at 7:30 pm. I've been feeling very emotional and sensitive the last 48 hours. Sometimes it's taken me a week to come down from events. This time around is a bit more difficult because of what has happened with other people. The last few days have been stressful.

....

I am glad that my best friend came out to visit and it was a really fun celebration with her and Master Anakin. I really hope we'll all be able to do it again one day and be able to all hang out together. I want to thank both of them for making my birthday very special for me.

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

My birthday spanking at Rascal's!!

2009-10-18T17:46:00.001-07:00

It's been a really exciting and wild weekend! I am having a really hard time coming down from all the excitement and trying to get back to normal life again. Yesterday was a really amazing day for me!! I have lots to blog about and many pictures to share. I will try to write about it soon. There is lots to share about all our fun adventures. It was so much fun to see my best friend again and spend a great time together. It was a birthday to remember!

Rascal's was incredible and very memorable. I have so much to share about my experiences last night and also play time. I got to play for the first time in public with Master Anakin!! It was truly amazing and I've got a lot of marks and bruises to remember last night. We played very hard and took a journey to the darkside. My bum is SO sore!! I am putting up a picture of what my ass looked like when we got back from Rascal's. Ouchies!! It is very sore to sit on today. It was a great birthday spanking at Rascal's! I will blog more in another blog post about all the adventures this weekend with Shasta. It was amazing and I'm so glad I got to spend my birthday celebrating with my two favorite people and all my friends at Rascal's! :)

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Rascal's Halloween party tomorrow night!

2009-10-16T11:50:00.000-07:00

It has felt like a very long week for me even though we had a Thanksgiving holiday on the Monday. There has been a lot going on in my life. New people have entered my life recently. I met my half-brother on Monday for the first time. There has been some recent interest in a few people and possibilities for the poly. I've been getting some new friendships and possible relationships too.

I've have also had some people from the past come back into my life. I have a really hard time dealing with ex's. I tend to put a lot of myself into my relationships with other people. When I love, it's completely in my heart and soul. My heart has been broken more times than I can count during all these years of being in a poly relationship. I've seen my Master's heart broken too. It hasn't been easy.

I haven't been to a bdsm event in the local community in Vancouver since March. I was on a hiatus for a long time. There were several reasons for my hiatus which I don't feel like blogging about. I started to get the itch to go to an event though in the last two months. I missed seeing some of my friends and also being able to get out and socialize. There are several reasons that I love to go to events. I am really excited to be meeting some of my new friends at Rascal's tomorrow night!! There are some people that I can't wait to see again. It's been months and I have missed them a lot! There are some people through Fetlife that I've gotten to know online but we have not had the chance to meet yet! I can't wait for that!

The guest list for the Rascal's Halloween party tomorrow is pretty big. I'll be honest. There are a few people that are planning to go there that I would rather not see again. The problem with dating people in the local community is that you play with people and get some very powerful feelings about it. Then you break up and sometimes there are hurt feelings. You are forced to have to see them and to deal with them when they are at events.

You try to be civil but it's tough sometimes. There were some people who really broke my heart and hurt me deeply. I loved them very much. The past is the past and I'd rather not see them again or dig up old feelings. You never know who might walk through the door at an event. I've been shocked when ex's from years ago have shown up at different places unexpected. It can be emotional for me to see those people again when I've closed the door on that chapter of my life.

I get a lot of anxiety when I am meeting people for a coffee for the first time. Meeting 20 or 30 new people all in a night causes me a bit of a panic attack. I can be social but I'm also extremely shy when I meet new people. It's a bit of a miracle that Master Anakin is going because he gets into even more of a panic when he's in a crowd. He has some social anxiety disorder. He doesn't like to socialize very much and would rather have home play parties or go to more private ones together. He does a lot better when he's in a smaller crowd. He also does not like to play publicly. If we play tomorrow night, it would be in the private area of Rascal's.

There have been a few problems with finding a costume also. I went back to Spencer Gifts to pick up my sexy cop costume but it was gone in my size. Bummer! I was hoping to be a sexy cop. Then Master saw a prisoner costume he liked and we also went back to get it and it was all gone!! We are still trying to figure out a costume for him to wear. I know that is making him angsty as well. I had planned to go shopping today but it didn't work out. So we might have to go looking for a costume after we drop off the kids tonight for sitting.

Don't get me wrong. I am very excited about this weekend. I get to see my best friend, Shasta again. It's been a year and a half since I last saw her! We have lots of neat plans for her and a great weekend planned including some beach/ocean time! I spent the last two days cleaning and my place is sparkling! Master is very pleased with me about that. I am counting down the hours until I see my BFF again! That is the best part of this weekend! I get to celebrate my birthday with my two favorite people!

I've also been told that I can buy a new toy for my birthday!! That's very, very exciting! I am not sure what to get but it's going to be so much fun to look! We have a few plans for naughty shopping and I can't wait! We have plans for sushi for dinner and sightseeing to show Shasta around Vancouver. That will be SO much fun!! We have no kids from 7 pm tonight until Sunday afternoon. We are not sure of our plans for tonight but I'm really glad to have some time with Master. I really miss him today. I will be seeing Shasta in the morning before we visit and get ready for Rascal's and downtown Vancouver. I hope this rain can turn into some sunshine before tomorrow!

It's going to be a fun weekend. I just need to work through some of my panic and angst and get into the spirit of the weekend fun. I know that usually after events I am so glad that I went. Getting in the door is usually the most challenging part of going to events. After that, there is usually lots of playing and fun and great times! :)

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

I'm the birthday girl!

2009-10-14T12:00:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that I am 37 years old today. What happened to the years? I can remember going out with my friends to celebrate my 19th birthday. It seems like yesterday. I can remember turning 30 and thinking that was old. LOL! Now I'm creeping closer to 40. I was told by my Doctor that I am "pre-menopausal" now. What the hell happened? It feels like the last few years have especially gone by quickly. My kids are growing up so fast and I am starting to notice a few little changes starting to happen with my body as I approach middle age.

It's been a pretty amazing journey for me so far. I've squeezed a lot into the last 37 years of my life. I am glad that I have not been afraid to try new things and to try to live life to the fullest. This birthday is going to be a great one! Much different than the disappointment which happened last year when my boyfriend at that time (Daemon) stood me up for a birthday dinner that I had. It was a bit of a disaster. This year I plan to celebrate my birthday at Rascal's on Saturday night. I'm going to have two of my favorite people there to help me celebrate. My best friend, Shasta is coming to Van today and plans to come to Rascal's with Master Anakin and I. Rascal's is having their Halloween play party this weekend.

We've been planning a very special day on Saturday to celebrate it. I've got plans to get my make-up done and then visiting with Shasta before we head downtown. We plan to do some shopping at a few of the amazing stores down there. Master has told me I can treat myself to a new toy for my birthday. We plan to have dinner (hopefully Sushi somewhere. Sushi..nom nom nom!) downtown before Rascal's. Rascal's is going to be a blast!! I plan to see a few new friends there as well as people I have not seen in months. This will be the first play party I have gone to in months. Shasta also told me that she hasn't been to a play party in a while! So that's going to be a blast for us both!! I can't wait!!

I've been told that there is a birthday spanking coming to me also at Rascal's! I am not sure what Darth Vader's evil plans for me are but I will be packing lots of toys for him to chose from. I'm planning to go as a Goth Schoolgirl for my costume. Master is hoping to dress up like a Prisoner. I am sure there will be plenty to blog about and lots of fun adventures! The Rascal's Halloween party was one of the best events that I went to last year and I know this one will be just as great! I'm SOOOO excited!! :)

Happy birthday to me!! I am 37 years old today and plan to celebrate my birthday this weekend! Lots of fun times ahead...

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

Love our Lurkers Day 4

2009-10-12T15:55:00.000-07:00

Bonnie started Love our Lurkers day and it was a such a big success that she is doing her fourth year of it and we are going to be participating! Master Anakin and I are hoping that it will convince some lurkers to come out of the shadows and say hello and leave us a comment. I know the last few years we participated we got a lot of comments and we heard from many people we had never heard from before. This is your chance to speak up and tell us what you think about Journey to the Darkside. We would really love to hear from you! We appreciate the feedback and really enjoy hearing from our readers. :)

Your comments mean so much to us. I try very hard to respond to all of them but sometimes there just isn't enough time in the day to respond to each and every comment. I read them all and we both appreciate the feedback and time it takes to leave a comment here at Journey to the Darkside. We would really love to hear from you today!

Please leave us a comment. I will beg if I have to...you can use a fake name or a real name. You can be someone who comments regularly or someone who hasn't commented in months or years or maybe never. Just please come out of the shadows today and say hello and pop your head out. We'd love to know who reads us and who enjoys Journey to the Darkside and we would love for you to say hello.

Thank you to everyone who has been there for our journey and for all your comments and support. It means a lot to us and we really enjoy hearing from everyone. Thank you for joining us on our journey....Our Journey to the Darkside!

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala