Journey to the Simple Life

Beginning of a new era

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 03:12:00 +0000

Through the awful events of the summer, some good has some, many acts of kindness have been shown and shared with us, it is overwhelming at times. Also, a great deal of personal growth, which might not make sense, but yes, I grew up a lot!

In dealing with all this, and the mental struggles, I realized ,the major problem of the last 2 decades of my life has centered around depression. I know some people knew this, but I didn't. I thought it was just 'a rough patch', or 'I'm just tired'. It was really the anger that gave it away for me. I could not deny that I was angry. Then I realized that I was angry, a lot and had been for a long time. In time I saw all the other signs that have been screaming at me for years, but had pushed them aside.

So today I had a doctor's appointment. Medicine prescribed (and picked up, I can't believe I let myself go this long for $20 a month! all this time I kept saying we couldn't afford it since I don't have medical insurance!). I am very hopeful. I know nothing is foolproof, and yes bad days will happen, but the undercurrent in my life will not be sadness.

It is hard to admit, and that is some of why I am writing this. Some many people have tried to get me to see, and I was blind. So you were right, I am glad I finally see.

reminder

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 00:55:00 +0000

I hate when I use my abs in a way that makes me feel it in my scar. It makes me sad. I don't like that reminder.

I also don't like having to come up with a title for a post that really doesn't need a title! :)

playing detective

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 15:53:00 +0000

I have a site meter thing and it's always fascinating to me. Sometimes disturbing to see what people will use as search words to find this. I just wish it told me WHO, I can figure some out, but not all. Every week when I get the email, I spend a few minutes playing detective! I still haven't figured out Mountain View, California! It is a fun few minutes.

Everything changes in the blink of an eye

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Sun, 25 Sep 2011 04:48:00 +0000

Looking back at the last three months, it boggles my mind to even do that. I think of all the silly things I worried about then. Life was suppose to finally be more settled and not tumultuous, the stress of living someplace you aren't wanted was going to be gone, finally being settled. How that can all change, literally in the blink of an eye. I remember my last night in our home, I didn't know it was going to be my last night, I simply thought it was the last night in the town I claim as home, a place I now have no desire to go at all, too many painful memories. If only I had known, that what I had feared would happen a hundred times before (though I thought it would be a fire, Chip thought it would be wind/tornado), our home being gone, would be realized.

There is no preparing for that moment, none at all. A phone call at 6:07 am (I was suppose to be there, but had overslept since I had been up all night for two nights prior packing). I don't know that I will ever forget that call, that time. Of course, I did not know that that call meant the end of our home, he didn't even tell me, I found out when I got there, well before I got there, driving around the corner looking over the field to see my house almost bent all in half, twisted in a way you never thought possible. I didn't even notice the front being folded and pushed through my kitchen floor, until someone motioned to the tongue of the trailer. I can't describe the feeling of realizing that your home is no more, realizing that you have no place to sleep, no place for your kids to play. Then, knowing that I had to go back to our tent and tell Chip, who was sleeping with the kids. I have no desire to live those following weeks again, ever. Losing a home is not just a monetary nightmare, or a logistically issue, it goes to all parts, mind, heart, soul........the soul especially.

Then two weeks later, Chip got fired, and not because he did anything wrong or broke a rule, but simply because some people really are evil. It was salt on a gaping wound. Chip lost most of his friends and his name was tarnished just to cover someones lies. I am still amazed and scared of the fact that there can actually be people who have that much vileness in them, that much anger and hatred.

One of the hardest things is people not giving credit to what this involves, acting as if it's no big deal, it was only a trailer. I lost my faith for awhile, and my compassion. As hard as it is to admit, losing my compassion was more alarming. My faith came back, through prayer, especially the prayers of others. Compassion too, but it wanes. On days when I have had to continually remind people of how hard it is to wake up to a destroyed home (then have your income taken away), my compassion is gone, on others, I try to remember how much worse it could have been, offering my misery for them. Mostly I'm just tired of being kicked to the ground. Tired of being pushed aside by those who should care but don't.

Three months later, life is hard, real hard. It's pretty miserable actually. There's very little to look forward too. Winter is looming. It's going to be cold and long. Plus Christmas, it breaks my heart to even think about that. Paul is old enough to KNOW what goes with that, but not old enough to understand why it won't happen this year.

Today was a rough one. Nothing huge happened, just a bunch of small stuff. Sad news from a friend about her mom was especially troubling. Normally at night, at least I have the feeling of 'we made it through another day', so it's not a sad ending, but today, it's this lonely, empty feeling. I don't know if it was just the events of the day, the foreshadowing of a conversation this morning, or just a melancholy mood. The foreshadowing conversation is scary, though it could be good in the end. I am just ready to be settled, ready to not have a huge mountain to climb, ready to have a home, not just a place that holds a kitchen and a bathroom. Wish I could find the fix for that.

Walking

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 03:59:00 +0000

Dolores trying out her walking skills :)

Dolores is ONE!

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 17:39:00 +0000

Okay, it was on the 6th, but it took me awhile to get the pictures all downloaded. :) We had a little family thing at the state park here.

I can’t believe she is one! It has gone so fast. As for stats for her, she’s crawling, all over the place, and has taken a few random steps, but not anything regular. LOVES our teeth and hates having socks on her feet! She has decided that she’s too busy during the day to stop and nurse, so is nursing mostly all night long, makes for a tired mom, very tired. I think I am more tired than when she was new :). Today I am trying to just make her pause and sit with me to nurse, even if for a little bit, maybe after a few days of this she’ll go back to nursing mostly during the day and sleeping at night like she used to! Dolores loves to do whatever her brother is doing, he’s not so keen on that all the time.

Here are some pictures from her birthday. I especially love the perplexed look on her face when she first is touching the cupcake trying to figure it out. :)

Finger painting

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Sun, 31 Oct 2010 02:22:00 +0000

Today Paul found the finger paints so we tried them out. Paul had a blast, Dolores did not at all like them. Screamed! I tried to get handprints of both of them, but she was not happy about it. I think I did get enough of one. Have a few pictures to share from the painting and also from the last few days.

Paul’s tower of blocks. He was so, so proud! He got the people on there and asked me to take a picture.

Paul wanted me to take his picture after taking them of the tower.

Dolores tonight, almost one year old! Just 7 days, I can’t believe it. I finally found a way to get rid of red eye!

Her smiling! Yes, she’s holding an empty can of daddy’s special camo beer! :)

Coming after the camera, but so cute!

Paul wanted in on the picture taking, with his own empty can, they love those things!

Below is the pictures of the paintings that Paul did. The first one is Paul in the green and Dolores in the red/orange, her feet in the middle. She was so not happy about this! I didn’t push it more to get good prints. I would have taken some of Paul after painting, but he took his clothes, so no way to edit that!

Trying to make the best

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Sat, 30 Oct 2010 02:10:00 +0000

We have been sick for like 2 weeks. I just finally started to feel better and the kids got mostly unsnotty and now I’m feeling sick again. NOT happy, at all. We don’t go anywhere, so have no idea how in the world I could be sick again. Hoping it’s nothing at all and goes away with a good nights sleep!

Yesterday was a rough day. The kids and I are all short of sleep for various things, and so I sent us to bed at 9, which is crazy, crazy early for us! We were asleep by 10, only for me to be woken again by the dang dog. Between those dogs and Dolores I am up way more than I’d like to be a night. Add in one of the dogs having horrible bowel issues that took place three times yesterday and then three times again at night. I finally gave up cleaning and today banished her outside and scrubbed the crates, carpet and wall.

So today I decided to take the advice that I so often tell people and also myself, that of today is a new day. For being as short on sleep as I ended up being, I did well today and didn’t even start to feel tired until just about an hour ago! It’s been so nice to be keeping up with the basic household chores, it really makes a difference in mood to only have a days worth of work to do, not a weeks. Makes the small stuff that I’d like to get done easier to get done, and also not as big a deal if it doesn’t because what HAS to be done is done.

Today ended up being a good day. It was sunny and finally not windy! The kids played outside most of the day, and I sat there with them for a large part of it, it was nice to not have something pressing that I needed to get done (again, keeping up with the basics helped there!). Now I’m ready for bed! Got a few hours before then.

A return

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 01:27:00 +0000

Goodness, it's been longer than I wanted. The day after my last post we went to the zoo. Paul had a blast. Dolores had fun too, but she's probably too young to really understand a zoo, just had fun smiling at people and playing :). I have a few pictures, but not on here yet to post. The next day the cold that won't die, fell upon us, or me mostly, the next day Paul too. It just won't go away! Sunday I lost my voice, or at least a usable voice. I think I may be getting it back today. Paul's still a little drippy, and thankful (thank you breastfeeding!) Dolores only got a few sniffles! Chip has had it for a few days too. I am read to be normal again!

Okay, blogger just told me I can't upload pictures, so I guess I wouldn't be sharing the zoo pictures even if I had them all ready!

Tired!

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 05:10:00 +0000

All this lack of sleep is catching up with me, I am so tired! We mostly had a good day in spite of it. Paul has been really challenging lately, feeling like I don't have the tools to handle him. This is the difficulty of not having many people to talk to who also desire gentle discipline! No one to bounce ideas off of!

Dolores really started to stand on her own the last few days (she's just over 11 months). She would do it before, but not on purpose, now she does it and sees what she can do.

Today we took a very, very long walk, it was probably close to 3 miles, that is a lot for me! Pushing the double. We walked to dollar general, rather than across the highway to the grocery store. There was holiday weekend lake traffic, I don't think I would have gotten across there! Plus I wanted to see how long it would take to go to dg, and if it was doable. It went okay, I didn't even know that it had been so long until I checked the time, 1.5 hours! But that included being in the store and stopping several times on the way home for passing cars and picking up dropped stuff. Not to bad, at least I thought. I used to walk a mile in 15 minutes, but that was a brisk pace and not pushing 100 pounds of kids/stroller, and I'm about 70 pounds heavier too. It is something I'd do again.

We also set up our zoo trip for Tuesday! Paul has never been so it'll be fun I think. I hope he does okay. Dolores is still at the 'whatever,as long as I get to nurse, it's all good' phase, so not worried about her. We'll be going with a friend so that'll be nice for me :).

All over the place

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 05:50:00 +0000

Today has been an up and down day. Started off not good, in a horrid mood and oh so tired. Paul got up early and preceded to make it impossible for me to stay in bed after he had waited kindly for about an hour. Still too early for me! The day was redeemed with some yummy lunch and a quick trip to town for me (with Dolores, but oh so nice to get out of the house). Plus talking over some of the things bugging me, like the impossible standards set by cps (not that they have ever come to us, just reading about it online, and it really upset me, knowing that there is NO way I could do that as par for course. I could for a visit or a guest, but not every single day, so overwhelming). So silly to worry about things you can’t even control and have no reason to worry.

The other flip floppy part of the day was a few hours ago. We have this cat that lives across the street, she’s an outdoor kitty that for some reason really likes us. Sleeps on our outdoor chairs and steps and always comes when we are outside. Tonight I hurt her, and she won’t come/stay when she sees us. I was closing the van door, and didn’t see her, I don’t even know what part of her I closed in the door. I feel horrible, and keep hoping she’ll be out there. I know that’s silly too, but Paul LOVES this cat, like if we were needing a pet, we would be asking her people if we could make her our cat, we don’t NEED any pets (we have oh, oh, too many as it is!). I just hope she’s not injured and comes back. She is the only thing that got Paul past his not wanting to be outside, now he sits on the steps to eat his lunch with her!

reality

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 07:15:00 +0000

This is me, raw and mostly unedited (curse words are gone, yes, sorry, I do use some foul language, ask Paul, he’ll tell you, don’t use the Lord’s name in vain, but I could hold my own with most sailors). Me being real and true. I have to reclaim this space, it is after all, my blog!

Reality always hits when I want to sleep. I am so tired of not sleeping. I want to curl up with my babies and sleep. I want to hear their little noises and be so hot I don’t need a blanket because they are cuddled up next to me, but I am here because laying in bed makes horrid things go through my head. It’s not as bad as with PPD, where I would literally be scared to close my eyes for fear of the thoughts, but it’s not cool, at all. So I am here tonight, typing my heart out.

I haven’t been posting to the blog for a while, not regularly anyway, because I don’t like being fake. I don’t want to put on a happy face when I am falling apart inside my head. My kids are wonderful, yes, Paul is hard to deal with like most 3 and a half year olds, and Dolores likes mommy to not sleep much, but they aren’t the troubles. Mostly my children are wonderful. They are little rays of sunshine. I will never be told ‘your children behaved so well’, but people will love them because they are real and goofy, they just won’t want us to come over, which is fine, we’ll go home and I won’t have to hover!

When you are so deep into a hole it is so hard to see outside of it and see the good around you. All you see is the misery. Another reason for not posting is that I am afraid of offending someone, since I do have a very random (and totally polar opposite readers, AP, liberal, very conservative), I am all of these things in different parts of my life.

I have tried so long to find a place I fit and I really don’t fit anywhere totally. I’m AP and gentle parenting (in theory, in reality, I need major work on these things), but also Traditional Catholic. Finding those two together is nearly impossible, I can’t make both groups happy, so I just keep quiet. Politically I’m secretly a Libertarian, but morally I support the Constitution party, which are pretty much the same, except the Constitution party brings in Christian morals. This would upset the liberal people. I believe in homeschooling, more specifically, unschooling, and really dislike institutional learning. I don’t like much of what modern society has to say about marriage, raising kids, education or life in general. So, I think I’m just going to put some disclaimer on my side bar or something, and I guess this is also a warning, sorry if I offend you, it’s not intentional, but this is my blog. If you think it’s against the Church, please call me on it, but otherwise, we will just have to have different opinions, and really, would life be interesting if we all had the same opinion about everything?

Me and myself haven’t ever really gotten along, or maybe we have, but they don’t really like each other. Or, to be direct and blunt, I don’t really like myself, at all, much, if ever. That has to change for anything really big to change. I really don’t know where to begin with that. We have no money so counselors or meds can’t be had, trust me, if I had the money I’d so be running for some Zoloft, well right now, actually probably like two months ago, but it’s just not there, it’s a reality that I can’t change. So I have to find some way to deal with it just the way it is. This has been my struggle the last several months, but never had I come out and said it, nor truly admitted it to myself, or anyone else.

So, I am going to try to post more, and if it’s a whiny, miserable post, I’m going to make myself also find something good (like today’s earlier post about the kids).

I think I may have gotten rid of enough negative emotions that I might be able to sleep without too much trouble, we shall see.

Ending, I’ll just ask for prayers, from those who pray, I could really use them. Depression is not fun. Not liking your self and feeling like a total failure at the most important job you have (being a mother) is not okay. Yes, I realize the first leads to the second, but they are, at this point, separate at least in places. Thank you, and I hope I haven’t scared too many away.

Was suppose to be my ‘reality’ post

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 04:24:00 +0000

So I was going to post a ‘reality’ post, you know all the stuff that people don’t talk about when trying to paint the rosy picture that happens usually with a blog. But my reality right this moment is too cute to not share, and totally wipes out the negative of the day!

Paul has this little nerf type football that would be used to play finger football, it’s flat, but football shaped. He is currently playing football with Dolores. I tried to get a picture and a video but the camera is not working and my cell phone is full. So instead of being super frustrated I’m posting here so I’ll remember later about this fun moment.

It is super cute! Paul is throwing this ball/disc and she is chasing after it (crawling) while giggling up a storm. She gets distracted and Paul picks her up and puts her back on the sheet (he has a sheet laid out that is their playing field I guess, or just the place he wants to play this game), throws the football, they both giggle like mad and then she crawls after it and he gets there first, she gets distracted, he gets her, repeat. The laughter is incredible! They are both having a blast!

Paulisms

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 06:32:00 +0000

My recent conversation with Paul, or rather, Paul’s monolog :)

This is all Paul talking, we were reading a story with farm animals.

I want to talk to Daddy about that, I want to tell him that. I want two, I want a tractor and a cow. I want to tell him I want a pig, a baby pig to put in that crate (pointing to the dog crate we have for the big dogs). No, I want to get two baby pigs to put in Pepper’s crate (same crate, Pepper is in there right now). I want to put them in the tub and put my fingers in there, maybe they will smell them, yes they will smell them. I’m going to tell Daddy that when he wakes up. I want you to call him (I don’t think Paul is always aware when Daddy is at work and when Daddy is sleeping, since he does sometimes work both nights and days).

So it was too cute, and I tried so hard to remember it all.

Three and a half, and 10 months

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 02:04:00 +0000

****First, today is Sept. 11th, a day that I don’t think I’ll ever forget. So much now it seems as though people have forgotten, it is quite sad that people’s memories can be so short. Many prayers for those who lost loved ones, as well as prayers for those who where lost.****

This is Paul and Dolores right now. Well Paul’s a few days shy of 3.5 and Dolores a few days past, but close enough!

It has been so neat the last month watching their relationship grow. Paul has gotten much more interactive with her, and also helpful and kind. Yes sometimes he does still throw a toy at her, or other not nice things. She just LOVES Paul, giggles and coos and ‘talks’ to him. One of Paul’s favorite things to do is to make a pile of toys around her. She enjoys the chance to explore lots of different toys and Paul likes making a mess with a purpose (at least I think he likes the purpose part, maybe it’s just the mess? :) ).

Paul has been having a lot of trouble with fears lately. He has developed some new ones that really make life interesting. Like being afraid of the noise from the planes (we live right in the path of the planes from Whiteman AFB, as in routinely we have planes fly between 100 and 300 feet over our house, routinely as in at least daily, unless it’s bad weather). So this is a biggie. He is also not liking to be left alone, whether it’s me going to the bathroom, or to play outside. He won’t even play outside unless we are sitting right there with him, I can’t even go look at the chickens or some other part of the yard without him starting to freak. Also, dark, and driving in the dark. Which is getting to be a bigger issue since the days are getting shorter. I don’t know if it’s totally normal, but I did find quite a bit online about kids this age and fears. I hope that he soon works them out because it is challenging to say the least.

Dolores is a pretty delightful little girl. Usually happy and wanting to play. I am so grateful that my kids are both pretty happy kids. Each day a little bit more of their little personalities shows through and they are just pretty neat people. She is still crawling, and doing some standing on her own for short little bits, she gets around where she wants to go though. Still doesn’t know what to think of food (we do baby led solids, no spoon feeding). She likes to suck on crackers, and I think she sometimes ingests some, but mostly if she gets a piece in her mouth she just kind of looks at me like ‘what is that? and what do I do with it?’ then spits it out! Paul didn’t eat until 11 months, so looking like Dolores will be around that age too.

Here are a few pictures from the last month, from my cell phone, so not the best, but the camera is MIA right now.

Paul holding one of the brand new chicks, a Dominique.

Here’s the whole bunch, we got them on Aug. 11. Golden Lace Wyandotte, Silver Lace Wyandotte and Dominique's.

I came from doing laundry and Paul had put the umbrella up like this on Chip’s chair. He was very proud of himself.

This was just the other day at Lowe’s. Paul loves the race car shopping carts and he insisted that Dolores sit with him, and he even buckled her in! This was the best shot I was able to get.

Just tonight. He wanted me to take a picture of him making this hole. (there was already a hole there and we plan on turning that area in to a shelf or something, so it’s the place we let him get out his banging/hitting energy. One day we’ll get around to actually removing it and putting in the shelf!)

Weekly check in

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 19:02:00 +0000

For the year long reading of the Bible and Catechism we are doing a weekly check in. I was able to get all the reading done! I have been surprised at how interesting the reading it. I have been learning a lot!

Also, I started the Consecration this week, on Sept. 8th, and have kept up with it. Today will be day four.

Motivating myself

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 21:48:00 +0000

So I have wanted to make (and finish!, finish being the key word here) my Consecration to Mary for about 6 years, and I am going to do that, I start on Sept. 8th. I have a good friend who really helped me with getting to the point of feeling like I CAN do it, rather than thinking, like normal, that I’ll give it a try again. I WILL be finishing it. Also something else I have been wanting to do is read the whole bible, and another friend, Kristin, and she found a study guide if you want to call it that! that breaks down the scripture readings as well as the catechism readings, to be read in a year. So far I have done the first three days. I am excited about it still, so hopefully in a month I will still be on track. I don’t know if I’ll post daily of getting it done, but I may, but also don’t want to bore those who have no desire to follow along!

I have been using the Douay Rheims online for the readings and the Vatican site for the catechism. It has worked well, having one tab open for each reading. I will continue this when adding in the Consecration, which will just be one more tab to have open :). It has been interesting reading already. I’m getting a lot more out of it than I ever did all the other times I tried to read the bible through.

So if anyone wants to join in, hop onboard!

sleeping Dolores

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 01:52:00 +0000

I posted this earlier, I don’t know where it went!

Earlier today I gave Dolores a little bath and put her on the bed so I could go to the bathroom. I came back in and this is what I found.

She can fall asleep anywhere in the middle of anything! Paul wasn’t like that. She just fell asleep sitting up and fell over! She stayed like that for over an hour, then rolled on her side a bit, then took one leg out from under her, then I woke her while trying to get another picture!

Sleeping Dolores part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 23:15:00 +0000

Here are the other shots I took while she was out.

9 months old!

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 20:41:00 +0000

Sorry for the lack in posting lately. Life has been overwhelming, which means I don’t post much. But I wanted to do a monthly update of Dolores, since really I want this blog to serve as a diary of sorts to our lives.

Dolores is mostly crawling now, I haven’t yet gotten a video of it yet, will have to try this week. Also, on the day of her ninth month her first tooth broke through. She’s been working on getting that tooth for about a month!

I put her in the front seat to help Chip for a few minutes, and she fell asleep!

Paul wanted me to take a picture of him while I was trying to find a good angle for the one of Dolores.

Just this morning, all smiles!

Paul took this.

Another one Paul took, neat angle, she loves his cars!

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 19:00:00 +0000

http://vonejiz.angelfire.com/

Looong Days

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 06:13:00 +0000

Today has been a very long day, preceded by more long days than I care to count. It is one of those days when I want the world to stop so I can get off.

Both kids seem to be going through something, Dolores doesn’t want put down and Paul constantly wants to be held (not a good combo). I am so ready for bed, about 30 minutes. Chip is working a night shift so I was going to take advantage of that and get a good cleaning of the house in after the kids went to sleep, I don’t think that’s happening. He has another one tomorrow, so I can use that time.

It also happens to be Carnival day, which is very exciting, of course I’m to tired to sit and read thought provoking info. Hopefully tomorrow will not be as long!

A snackaholic’s food battle

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Welcome to the July Carnival of Natural Parenting: Let's Talk About Food

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about their struggles and successes with healthy eating. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

So I love snacks, horrid, overly processed awful for you snacks! I am also a snacker, I don’t really eat meals - I graze throughout the day. Paul is like that too. I don’t know if it’s because of me, or if that’s just how he is. So making meals is a weakness of mine.

We ate pretty decently (pre-pregnancy of Dolores) for our budget (very little processed food, raw milk, whole foods……..). It wasn’t great by many standards, but it was as good as we could do. It helped that my son, at the time about 2, was really starting to eat non-breast milk, and I did not want him eating that stuff. Then I find out I’m pregnant, and all that goes out the window! The snack fest begins! It just so happened also, that Paul weaned during my pregnancy (so sad he didn’t make it to three, had been my personal goal), which meant that he too was eating those foods.

Now, we have been eating like this for over a year, more like a year and a half. It’s a hard cycle to break. I swear that they put stuff in that food that makes you addicted!

Currently we try to make better choices. I limit high fructose corn syrup, and have even recently begun watching labels for corn at all since most corn is the GMO type, and we don’t want that. We also avoid soy if possible. But if I have to pick between hfcs and soy, I’ll pick soy. I pick the best, or rather, least full of nasty stuff, item that I can find. Ultimately we want to be growing/raising all of our food, so we won’t have to worry at all about what’s in it!

Right now my struggle is getting over the convenience food and snacks. It is so, well, convenient. Plus add in the heat of summer (makes cooking oh so much hotter), and I want something that comes together quickly, with little heat and little effort, and I’d like it to be cold :). Also, we have major budget constraints that hinder our ability to buy good meat (grass-fed and free range – we actually have a farmer somewhat near that does this, we just don’t have the money, and also, the freezer space! that is on the agenda for the next tax return! :)). We live in the middle of nowhere and china-mart is the only place to do most shopping. There are two other small grocery stores that we get a few things at (they have more organic, and natural food, plus better meat than walmart). If it were up to us, we’d shop a Whole Foods type store only, but that’s over an hour away (and tons of gas and miles!)

Our desire is to follow mostly a Traditional Foods diet, or at the very least, a whole foods diet. Nothing processed or full of chemicals. Meats that are raised the way they were intended to be raised, like cows eating grass. We are soon moving to a small piece of land and will start the journey of growing our own food, meat, veggies and grains.

I need to find a way to eat well without a lot of prep, and heat. Or I need to get over the fear of an hour of prep and a hot humid kitchen! I think the latter is what needs to happen!

So if anyone has tips for eating cool and somewhat cheaply and WELL, please share.

***

Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated July 13 with all the carnival links.)

Welcome to Two — All About Food — In case you hadn't heard, there is a conspiracy afoot from the two year olds of the world. Shana at Tales of Minor Interest stumbled onto their newsletter!

Four Seasons of Eating Locally — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction has pointers for what fresh produce can be found year-round. (@MBJunction)

Happy Families Can Have More Than One Diet — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now has figured out a way for her family to live happily as vegans and vegetarians with relatives who eat meat. (@DebChitwood)

My Own Omnivore’s Dilemma — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante prioritizes responsible consumer choices for her family.

No Gluten — No Cry — Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma learned to cook balanced meals when her son's food sensitivities prompted a diet overhaul. (@kitchenwitch)

Try, Try Again — Stefanie at very very fine has become an enthusiastic consumer of locally grown food.

CSA — Week 1 — Casey at What Love Is wants her children to know where their food comes from, so she joined a friendly CSA. (@CBerbs)

Food: Parenting or Homemaking? — Michelle at The Parent Vortex sees food as part of a parent's nurturing role. (@TheParentVortex)

5 Tips to Help Kids Develop Healthy Eating Habits — If you struggle with healthy eating, helping your child develop healthy habits might be a challenge. Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares five easy tips that will help your kids learn to make good food choices. (@CodeNameMama)

Family Food: Seeking Balance Between Healthy, Sustainable & Affordable — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings has a whole list of ideas for how she can improve her family's eating, both now and into the future. (@sunfrog)

Whole Foods in, Wholesome Feelings Out — Jessica at This is Worthwhile has turned her back on the processed, preservative-ridden food of her childhood. (@tisworthwhile)

When to Splurge on Organic (and When It Is Okay to Skip It) — Becoming Mamas tell you what foods to prioritize when buying pricier organic food, and where you can find it cheaper. (@becomingmamas)

A Locavore's Family Meal — Acacia at Be Present Mama tells a story in pictures of her family taking a trip to the local organic farmers market and then preparing a summer meal together with their bounty.

Eat Your Food, or Else — Why should we not bribe a child to eat? TwinToddlersDad from Littlestomaks (Science Driven Real Life Toddler Nutrition) explains. (@TwinToddlersDad)

Food, Glorious Food! — Luschka at Diary of a First Child describes three easy ways her family has started eating healthier. (@diaryfirstchild)

Celebrating Food — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog believes in food as medicine and thinks it's worth paying more to keep healthy. (@myzerowaste)

Oil and Yogurt — What have you been motivated to do with the current oil spill crisis? midnightfeedings has started making her own yogurt. (@midnightfeeding)

Growth-Spurt Soup (AKA "Beannut Stew") — BeanMa has a special stew to help her baby through growth spurts that keep her up all night. (@thebeanma)

Why I Love The Real Food Community — Much like many people who follow AP/NP values, Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! takes the parts of the "real food" philosophy that work for her family and leaves the rest. (@bfmom)

Feeding a Family of Six — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children gives helpful tips for feeding a family of six.

Starting Solids at 6 Months — Did your doctor recommend that you give your baby cereal? Sheryl at Little Snowflakes discusses how whole foods are so much healthier (and more delicious) than traditional cereal. (@sheryljesin)

Am I What I Eat? — Andrea!!! at Ella-Bean & Co. has figured out a way to avoid grocery stores nearly altogether.

Are We Setting Our Kids Up To Fail? — Megan at Purple Dancing Dahlias found that cutting out the junk also transformed her sons' behavior problems.

Changing your family's way of eating — Lauren at Hobo Mama has techniques you can try to move your family gradually toward a healthier diet. (@Hobo_Mama)

Real Food — What kinds of fake foods do you eat? And why?! Lisa C. at My World Edenwild talks about why she chooses real food.

A Snackaholic’s Food Battle — Julie at Simple Life wants to stop snacking and get into the old ways of cooking from scratch and raising her own food. (@homemakerjulie)

Food, Not Fight — Summer at Finding Summer doesn't want her kids to grow up like her husband: hating everything green. (@summerm)

How Do You Eat When You Are out of Town? — Cassie at There's a Pickle In My Life wants some tips on how to eat healthy when you are out of town.

Carnival of Natural Parenting: Food! — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker hopes that by serving her children healthy, balanced meals, they will become accustomed to making good food choices. (@sybilryan)

There's No Food Like Home's — NavelgazingBajan at Navelgazing revels in the Bajan food of her upbringing. (@BlkWmnDoBF)

This Mom's Food Journey — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment made a journey from not paying attention to food to growing her own.

Who Knew Eating Was So Hard? — The challenges involved in changing to healthier eating habits take on a whole new dimension when you have a child who has difficulties eating. kadiera at Our Little Acorn shares her own experiences. (@kadiera)

Loving Food — Starr at Earth Mama truly believes food is her family's medicine and is willing to spend days preparing it the traditional way.

Food Mindfulness — Danielle at born.in.japan details how her family spends money on each category of food. (@borninjp)

Food for Little People — Zoey at Good Goog wants to bless her daughter with happy traditions built around good food. (@zoeyspeak)

Eat Like a Baby — Have you been told that you should not equate food with love? Kate Wicker at Momopoly shows us why that's not necessarily true. (@Momopoly)

Food — Deb at Science@Home tries to teach her children three rules to help them eat a healthy diet. (@ScienceMum)

Healthy Eating Lactose-Free — MamanADroit gives us tips on how to eat healthy if you are lactose intolerant (or just don’t want cow milk). (@MamanADroit)

8 months old and Chip’s birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 05:46:00 +0000

Today is Dolores’ 8th month, and also Chip’s birthday! We went to get the cake stuff and Paul really wanted to get the numbers, but they didn’t have any 3’s, I didn’t feel like having a math equation on the cake, so we picked an ‘8’ for Dolores’ 8th month :), plus 31 candles for Chip’s birthday :)

Cake before lighting

All ablaze!

Chip blowing out the candles

Trying to get a picture with everyone looking at the camera and smiling, nearly impossible, this is the best one! Paul LOVED the cake!

Now for a little Dolores update. She’s about 19 pounds! Hard to believe that at this point Paul was like 26 or so! She’s working very, very hard on crawling. I think it’ll be very soon. She wants to so bad, just hasn’t gotten all the moves in order yet. New sounds all the time, happy little girl who LOVES to watch her brother play and thinks he’s the most funny thing to ever happen! After a little worry on my part about her rolling over, she has totally mastered it, she’s a rolling fool! Still no teeth, I am guessing she’ll get like 5 at a time!

rejection

noreply@blogger.com (Julie) — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 22:30:00 +0000

I hate it. I really wish there was a way to guard oneself against it, you know, like a spray repellant or something. I guess living in a hole would work too, which is tempting, let me tell you.