Journey to Singlehood

On addiction...

2016-07-04T00:19:00.000-07:00

After many months of being absent at “The Feast” in PICC, I finally went yesterday with a good friend of mine. At first, I was a bit disappointed to know that Bro. Bo is currently in Australia but will be back next Sunday in time for his 50^th birthday.

Despite Bro. Bo’s absence, I still felt glad, as I always do, that I woke up early to attend the mass and join the feast afterwards.It’s always refreshing and insightful to hear people talk about things that we fail to remember at times. It allowed me to step back and reflect again on my life and what I want to do with it.

For starters, the homily during mass was very good, it was the first time I heard Fr. Bob celebrate the Mass. He spoke about ways to be a good disciple of Christ and how a simple act of kindness can make a big impact on other people’s lives.

The ambiance has not changed at all. Except for a minor layout change, I am still impressed about the ministry servants, always very courteous and pleasant. The music group with two choirs, a band and a mini-orchestra which really gave an either meditative or festive mood. The worship leader who welcomed everybody and initiated the introductory prayer. A lively audience who prayed and sang with such passion and enthusiasm. And most especially, Mr. Alvin Barcelona who gave an inspiring and moving talk where you can learn a thing or two. This talk brings me to my topic for today – addictions.

In a recent US study, there are top ten American addictions in 2015 – coffee, nicotine, drugs, alcohol, gambling, anger (yes, anger!), food, gadgets, sex and lastly, work. I am particularly guilty about work because I used to indulge myself in doing extraordinary tasks so I can feel a sense of fulfillment. What struck me the most was his statement that typically addictions are due to hunger for love. It’s because I have a good friend who used to be addicted to marijuana and had to undergo a program in order to rehabilitate himself. He said he got too bored and resorted to substance abuse. I wasn’t sure if it’s boredom for him, I thought then that it was probably depression, but I believed him nevertheless. Anyway, when he was in the program, he talked to me about PTSD (he worked for the US army) and why his addiction was linked to it. He apologized for things he was sorry for. A few months after, I was glad that he already graduated from the program and lived again an ordinary life. Just a couple of days back, a common friend informed me that he’s in it again. I tried to contact him but he’s unreachable.

Sometimes, I wonder if it’s because he’s single at 39 with a newfound freedom. He lived by himself after the program since he wanted to be independent. I know that he has a loving family, his ever-reliable support system. His parents even belong to Couples for Christ, where his Dad is currently the chapter head. I’ve witnessed how they tried to help him out in his many obstacles in life. And yet, here he is again, doing things he promised not to do anymore.

I would’ve wanted to help him out but I believe that it should start with himself. Mistakes happen and all struggles end, but one should be willing to let go of the past and build a new future. Life is short and it should be lived…not wasted…

On neighbors..

2016-07-02T01:03:00.002-07:00

I find it funny to write about neighbors as a second topic of my blog but I can’t help but write about them now. You see, our house was just recently rebuilt (less than two months as I write this). I’ve just planted my candle flowers and forget-me-nots at the pedestrian of the house right in front of the gate. Generally, I like plants, flowers, trees, organic stuff and other nature-related living things. Watering the plants is a part of my habit - in the morning before I go to work and in the afternoon/evening when I come back. I get really excited when I see even the slightest improvement on the planted effects.

Just this morning, when I was doing my usual routine, I saw a dead cat with insects feasting over the smelly object. I’m not a great lover of pets, but I generally like cute and furry pups and cats but abhor loud & earsplitting woofs of dogs and disturbing crows of roosters during unholy hours and most especially dead animals on my yard. I am not even sure why they allow roosters to live on a supposedly quiet subdivision. Anyway, I saw this dead cat in the middle of the street right before I left the previous night to meet my good friends. I tried to avoid it when I drove my way towards the end of the street. When I came back later in the evening, I was glad that it’s no longer there so I wouldn’t have to worry about it, much less have nightmares because of it (reminds me of the book/movie pet sematary by Stephen King).

In the morning, much to my dismay, when the sun was up and the usual crow of roosters were audible, the dead cat was still there and right on my newly planted babies. And who could’ve brought it there but my long-time and usually irritating neighbors who have always been there right by the time we actually moved to the street. They are two senior citizens who do nothing but act as a protector of the neighborhood, monitor the usual passers in the street and watch TV on their porch near enough to see everything happening outside their territory. They are people who don’t mind throwing their garbage at their neighbor(s) garden just so they can shield their own place from dirt and scrap. We’re quite unfortunate to reside right beside them. In the many years of being neighbors, I can’t say a single nice thing that they did, but I can enumerate some of the countless actions that they’ve done that made it impossible for us to like them. I can even nominate them to Guinness book of records as the “worst neighbor” in town if there’s such a thing. I don’t find it surprising that they don’t have much friends, except for our kind neighbor situated right across our house and owns a “sari-sari” store who can be described as an epitome of a decent neighbor.

When I saw the smelly cat, my morning routine was disrupted and I immediately contacted my parents and my sister with her husband who were supportive enough to dispose the lifeless thing. I cannot do it myself, biology is not really one of my favorite subjects in high school. But, I spoke to my “decent” neighbor and verified who could’ve thrown such junk into our ground and she could only suspect the next door seniors who have nothing better to do than infuriate us. I seriously believe that they find satisfaction in making our lives miserable. Anyhow, my good neighbor was helpful enough to volunteer their gardener to pick and throw it somewhere for us. Since my brother in law already did the job, I nevertheless thanked her for the offer.

In hindsight, the world is truly a place where "wicked" people exist but I firmly believe that there’s always a sense of balance and yes, that includes our neighbors. We are blessed enough to have good people who can be our sunshine in the middle of crisis. One can be disappointed in an instant, but there’s always an equalizer to make all things pleasant again.

On being jobless...

2016-07-02T00:52:00.001-07:00

You’re probably thinking, “why start a blog now?” I personally think that blogs should be, first and foremost, interesting….it should be carefully written and contain true to life experiences. Later on, you would want to look back at your previous blogs, and say to yourself, “I did these things?” And you learn to appreciate yourself more. At this age, when am nearing my mid-life at 40, you’d realize that you would want to reminisce what you did when you’re young and what a better way to recall than thru a blog.

Personally, I would’ve hoped to have started it when I was still in my 20’s, but I only resorted to diaries and planners, yes planners! I’ve put on a lot of interesting stuff like stickers, tickets, pictures, receipts, newspaper clippings, dried flowers, etc. If not so obvious yet, I can say that I’m a bit sentimental at times. Now that we’re in a “virtual” technology, might as well make use of it, it’s free anyway.

Going back, part of the reason why I finally created this blog is that I belong to the less than 10% of the unemployed society in the Philippines. After many years of being a “corporate slave,” I am now experiencing the joys of not worrying about work, my boss, my co-employees, subordinates, etc. I wake up feeling fresh and looking forward to a meaningful day. It feels weird sometimes to not think about work when you were so used to being in-charge. But hey, it’s a perfect opportunity to think more about yourself. And now I have time on things I’ve put on stall because of my “demanding” so-called jobs. I now have the energy to learn new things such as cook, bake, read, attend seminars (mostly financial and investments), walk/jog and do ordinary things as mundane as washing the dishes. I used to eat out everyday as part of my stress-free activities. It uplifts my soul and re-energizes my bodily well-being especially when I eat my favorite ramen.

I can think about a lot of topics that I would want to write and I’ll do it one a time. So for those who are still looking and waiting for a job, I’d say make use of your time to do stuff that excites you, things that make you happy and productive, things that you wouldn’t have done if you were employed. And believe me, later on you’d be glad you did.

Start of something new

2016-07-02T00:48:00.001-07:00

I created this blog today, July 2, 2016 on a sunny Saturday, because I have a lot of good things to say about being single. For a long time, my status hasn’t pretty much changed. And at an age when you don’t really know if you’re going towards a more complicated status like being married…even more complicated as a parent..i think it would be best to savor the moment and enjoy singlehood as a way towards a bigger and brighter future - whether simple or complicated…join me in my journey as I write about the countless travels, jobs, experiences that I’ve had and my not-so-normal opinion about events, politics, people that led me to this blog..i do hope that anyone who reads this may somehow find an idea or two and be able to contribute to the betterment of the society..somehow those are my aims - to express and encourage..