The life of a preacher is a unique one and I’m so thankful for the opportunities in life that have come my way because of being a preacher’s wife.  If you are fortunate enough to serve in a congregation such as the one we work with, ...]]> I’ve been intending to pick up the pace on my blog again – meaning from having no pace at all, to writing again. Life has kept us very busy, albeit a good busy. Seeing that it’s Friday, I thought I’d jump in where I left off and share some reflections for the preacher’s wife.

The life of a preacher is a unique one and I’m so thankful for the opportunities in life that have come my way because of being a preacher’s wife.  If you are fortunate enough to serve in a congregation such as the one we work with, you will see that there are still some very good people in this world today. We have some people who would do anything for us, if we had a need to be met. We have tried to show genuine love and compassion to people around us, both in and out of the church, and we have been blessed. People have given us fresh fruits and vegetables, eggs, various types of meat, and other gifts, as a way to show kindness to our family. Our lives have been greatly enriched because of George’s being a preacher, and it’s moments like these that make being a preacher easy.

However, there are also some occasions when a preacher’s work is far from easy. There are circumstances that demand courage to do some hard things. It takes courage to talk to people on a personal level about things like whether or not a husband and wife really have the right to be married to one another,  or declining to perform a wedding ceremony when a Christian wants to marry a nonChristian. It would be a whole lot easier to just not deal with those sorts of things, but being willing to “do hard things” is what God expects us to do. I am so thankful that my husband loves peoples’ souls enough that he has the courage to talk to people about hard things.

It also takes courage to talk to people who have turned their back on God. Sometimes when people are not living right, if they are approached in a kind way, they will at least acknowledge that they know they should do better, even though they might not have the gumption to change. There are others, however, who are are not so easy to deal with, regardless of how kindly you go about it. George recently paid a visit to a wayward member who has a very unpredictable temperament (a long history of  violence, which includes several arrests). The man unleashed a tirade of cussing and swearing, blaming everyone else in the world for his problems, except himself, of course.  George just had to turn and walk away. It takes courage and self-control to deal with difficult people.

God wants individuals who are willing to stand up for what is right, even when it’s not the popular thing to do. What if Isaiah said “You know, I want to be one of God’s people, but being a prophet will be too difficult and I know ahead of time that no one will listen, so no, I don’t think I want to go that route. I know you need to send someone Lord, but please send somebody else.”  No, that’s not what Isaiah said.  He said “Here am I, send me.”  What if the apostle Paul decided to give up preaching, because he simply got fed up with the continual abuse (to put it mildly) he received for preaching the whole counsel of God? I’m glad he stuck it out, aren’t you?

Courage is not for a select few in the congregation. Elders, deacons, preachers, the wives of these men, and every single Christian should answer God’s call to be courageous. However, since the post is intended to be reflections for the preacher’s wife, I would like to underscore the fact that God needs courageous wives – wives who are willing to stand by their men when the going gets tough. Our husbands need to hear “I appreciate your willingness to do hard things”. They need to know that we are willing to stick it out with them, through thick and through thin, and that we will not suggest that they do something else in life, because being a preacher is too difficult.

On Wednesday evenings we’ve been studying the book of James. James has a thing or two to say about the topic of suffering and persecution. James 5:10,11 says “As an example of suffering and patience, brothers, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord.” If you want to see what real courage looks like, do some study about the persecutions that faithful men and women of God have endured in centuries gone by. For example:

“And what more shall I say? For time would fail me to tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets—who through faith conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. Women received back their dead by resurrection. Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life. Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated—of whom the world was not worthy—wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth” Hebrews 11:32-38.

When I read about men and women of God who underwent that sort of persecution, it really makes our sort of “courage” look rather pitiful, don’t you think?

No, I did NOT have a baby! haha!

However…It has been about nine months since I’ve done any blogging.

Why, you ask? (okay, maybe you didn’t ask, but I’ll tell you anyway).

I moved from Tanzania to Kentucky.

My husband began a new job as an evangelist for the Church of Christ in Hawesville, KY.

We bought a house.

My first grandbaby entered into this world.

A new son-in-law was added to our family.

….and a whole lot more.

There is no way I could tell you all about how each of ...]]> A lot can happen in nine months!

No, I did NOT have a baby! haha!

However…It has been about nine months since I’ve done any blogging.

Why, you ask? (okay, maybe you didn’t ask, but I’ll tell you anyway).

I moved from Tanzania to Kentucky.

My husband began a new job as an evangelist for the Church of Christ in Hawesville, KY.

We bought a house.

My first grandbaby entered into this world.

A new son-in-law was added to our family.

….and a whole lot more.

There is no way I could tell you all about how each of those things has impacted my life, but long story short…all of those things and much more are why I’ve been away from blogging for the past nine months.

But now…I think I’m ready to do this again! Maybe I can rustle up some old readers and maybe a few new ones.  :)

I just received a notice about this freebie…

Boys and Manners, in a kindle format.

Go to this site http://www.homeschoolfreebie.wholesomechildhood.com/

Sign up for their email subscription, and then take advantage of Thursday’s freebie.

As a side note, while most boys can stand to improve their use of good etiquette, ...]]> I am subscribed to a homeschool email list……yes, I know, I’m technically not homeschooling any more, but it’s part of who I am ….. anyway…this email list offers some great deals, including free items, on a regular basis.

I just received a notice about this freebie…

Boys and Manners, in a kindle format.

Go to this site http://www.homeschoolfreebie.wholesomechildhood.com/

Sign up for their email subscription, and then take advantage of Thursday’s freebie.

As a side note, while most boys can stand to improve their use of good etiquette, it’s not boys only!

More than a few girls….

as well as many adults….

could benefit from some improvement in the manner department, as well.

March has been busy.

Visitors came for almost two weeks to help out with the work.

Andrew, Anthony, Alex, and Tony

We’ve been sorting, selling, boxing, and giving away a bunch of stuff, in preparation for our ...]]> Yes, I admit it! I’ve been missing in action in the blogging world for the past month or so. There has been a lot going here and when push comes to shove, life takes precedence over the blogging world. Truthfully, I could have had time had I wanted to make the time, but……I didn’t.

March has been busy.

Visitors came for almost two weeks to help out with the work.

Andrew, Anthony, Alex, and Tony

We’ve been sorting, selling, boxing, and giving away a bunch of stuff, in preparation for our move.

Boxes and more boxes!

We have purchased tickets! Yes, it’s official – we’re heading across the pond next month! Departure day is April 25. We have a hotel booked for our first night and then another adventure will begin – that of visiting congregations and making decisions about where to work, live, etc. It’s all exciting and so tiring to think about, at the same time.

We are looking forward to seeing many of our friends and family members of the course of the next few months. And…..PTP is on our list of things to do! Maybe we’ll see you there!

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend, and best of all, I hope you spend the first day of the week – the Lord’s Day – worshiping our God.

Preachers’ families often have some unique challenges when it comes to raising their children. I’m going to mention a few and if you would like to add to my list or ...]]> I grew up as a preacher’s kid.  Most of the time it was not something I thought about.  Our family was – our family. When I went to Bible camp or some other special event, the label was attached to me. I didn’t have a problem with it; rather, I thought it was something special because I was proud of my father and his work as a gospel preacher.

Preachers’ families often have some unique challenges when it comes to raising their children. I’m going to mention a few and if you would like to add to my list or share some of your own thoughts, please do!

First, there is the tendency on the part of some preachers to be so busy tending to the needs of the congregation that the needs of their own children are neglected. I am so thankful that my father and my husband have been sensitive to the needs of their children and have chosen to spend time doing things with them.  The needs of our children – physical, emotional and spiritual, ought to be on the top of our list of priorities. That doesn’t mean  they are to be used as an excuse to slack in congregational work, but it does mean taking their needs seriously. What good would it be to set out to save the souls of others, while at the same time, losing your own children?

Second has to do with the idea of expectations.  Speaking in generalities, preachers’ children often have the reputation of having less than exemplary behavior. Further, there is a pretty high percentage of preachers’ children who grow up to be unfaithful to the Lord. Obviously each individual, as he or she  reaches adulthood, is accountable for his or her own actions.  However, in many instances the parents simply did not have sufficient expectations for their children.  This may or may not have had anything to do with the father being a preacher, but the bottom line was that the children were neither trained nor restrained.  What a serious indictment if the Lord were to say about us, as he did of Samuel “For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not” 1 Samuel 3:13.

 The other end of the spectrum is that sometimes preachers and their wives tend to set unfair expectations for their children. There was never a time, that I recall, in which my parents told us children that we had to do or not do any certain thing “because your Dad is the preacher” or “because you are a preacher’s kid.”  My parents taught us to respect and obey biblical precepts because that’s what God expected, not because we were the preacher’s family. As a second generation preacher’s family, my husband and I have made great effort to train our children in the same way.  Our child training has had nothing to do with what brethren expect from us as a preacher’s family, but it has had everything to do with realizing our responsibility as parents to train our children “in the way they should go.”

Additionally, well-meaning people can place unfair expectations on your “PK” children. I remember a time when I was 9 or 10 at the most and one day we were at the church building doing some work.  Another church member happened to be at the church building as well, and I was practicing reciting some memory verses, John 3:16, if I recall correctly.  He proceeded to chide me about knowing that verse, and yet not being a Christian. At the risk of stirring a hornet’s nest, why on earth should a person try to put that kind of a guilt trip on a 9 or 10 year old child? I did not believe it then, nor do I believe it now, that 9 and 10 year old children will be eternally lost.

On another occasion a number of us were doing some door-knocking, inviting people to attend our VBS and also trying to set up Bible classes.  I had not yet obeyed the gospel and one of the brothers in the church asked if he needed to set up a Bible class with me.  Both of these brothers, well-intended as they may have been, were out of line.  I was not a “delinquent preacher’s kid”.  The only thing they accomplished was my desire to avoid them. On yet another occasion a girl younger than myself was questioning me as to why I had not obeyed the gospel.  Her reasoning was: “you’re the preacher’s daughter.”

Most of the time, these kinds of comments will not be made within your earshot.  It is vital that you and your children have a close, communicative relationship, so that they will feel comfortable talking to you about issues on their heart, including telling you about comments they receive from others. Our children need to know that our love for them, as well as our expectations, have nothing to do with their father being a preacher. Instead, we need to cultivate in the hearts of our children a desire to please and obey the Lord because of their love for HIM.  Our children NEVER, NO NEVER should be guilt-tripped into obedience because of their father being the preacher.

As the preacher and preacher’s wife, we have a weighty responsibility towards our children. Like every other parent, we must train our children to love God and create in them a desire to serve Him.  We also have the responsibility to impress upon them the positive attributes of the church, even though it’s made up of imperfect people.  Far too often preachers’ families (our family included) tend to dwell on the problems in the church rather than what is right with the church. If our families have a steady diet of negativism, how does that encourage our children?  Our children need to see in us the same grace and mercy towards our brethren as we wish God to extend towards us.

Let’s show our children, through our words and our deeds, the joy of serving the Lord in this special way. Help your children understand what a wonderful life we have, because Daddy is a preacher.

According to 2 Timothy 4:2, a preacher is to “preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.”  The reality is – preaching is not always a pleasant, feel-good pep talk.  Part of ...]]> As I was giving thought to what topics would be good for this series, I asked my husband if he had any suggestions.  One thing in particular that he mentioned is the need for the preacher’s wife to encourage her husband to preach the whole counsel of God, and to support him when he does so.

According to 2 Timothy 4:2, a preacher is to “preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.”  The reality is – preaching is not always a pleasant, feel-good pep talk.  Part of preaching IS to exhort; to encourage one another; but it is only that – a PART of his responsibilities as one who proclaims the Word.  Preaching the whole counsel of God is difficult and sadly not all brothers and sisters in Christ are willing to hear the hard things.

There are times when preachers need to address difficult topics and the result may be that they are fired.  There are preachers who are told to go elsewhere because they dare to proclaim God’s Word on marriage, divorce and remarriage.  Some preachers have been fired because they addressed the issue of modesty.  If a preacher sets forth God’s plan for the home, watch out, because he is bound to hit a raw nerve or two – or three or more. Your husband needs to know that you appreciate him and his willingness to be a man of integrity.  If your husband is unwilling to compromise God’s Word for the sake of popularity or his salary, then you should thank God for him and be that encouragement that he needs; he needs it from you, most of all.

From time to time, your husband may need a different kind of encouragement.  It is possible that because he has such strong passion for the Word, he may come across as harsh at times.  If he appreciates and welcomes your advice, there may be occasions when offering a few carefully chosen words can help him avoid coming across too abrupt. This is certainly not the same thing as suggesting to your husband that he should compromise or avoid difficult preaching, but there is a lot to be said for tact and timing, and a feminine viewpoint can be helpful. Keep in mind, however, that our feminine selves tend to react to things more emotionally, and our judgment concerning the force of his delivery may not be accurate either.  Squelching the fire in his bones is not the desired outcome.

No two people will agree 100% on everything, but when it comes to doctrinal matters, division between husband and wife can bring much stress to the marriage, and even more so between the preacher and his wife.   A preacher needs a wife with some backbone.  YOU need to have as much conviction as he does when it comes to the Word of God.  Be willing to stand behind him when he has to do hard things. YOU are the most importance source of encouragement in his life.  Let him know how much you appreciate him!

Part of the lyrics go like this: