joyce charlene hawkins

MY FANBOX EXPERIENCE

2011-12-08T08:42:00.000-08:00

HELLO AGAIN!! I HAVENT BEEN ON HERE IN A WHILE, I HAVE BEEN ON FANBOX FOR ABOUT THE LAST YEAR. AND SO MUCH HAVE CHANGED!!! I REMEMBER WHEN I FIRST STARTED BLOGGER, IT WAS THE SAME REASON I GOT ON FACEBOOK, MY CHILDS ADOPTED PARENTS MADE ME A FACEBOOK PAGE AND WHERE ON HERE ALSO AND IT WAS A GREAT WAY TO TO STAY IN TOUCH, SINCE THEY ARE OVER SEAS.

BUT AS TIME GOES ON THINGS CHANGE, AS THEY ALWAYS DO. I STILL TALK TO THEM ON FACEBOOK AND THROUGH THE MAIL, BUT I HAVENT BEEN ON THIS SITE IN A WHILE.

THE REASON? I DISCOVERED FANBOX ABOUT A YEAR AGO. IT IS A BLOGGING SITE THAT ALSO IS A COMMUNITY, WITH FRIENDS AND FANS. I MUST ADMIT I WAS IN A REALLY BAD PLACE WHEN I FOUND FANBOX. I WAS WAITING FOR MY DISABILITY TO GO THROUGH, MY MARRIAGE OF 14 YEARS ENDED IN DIVORCE, AND I WAS ALL ALONE. AT FIRST WHAT CAUGHT MY EYE ABOUT FANBOX WAS THAT YOU COULD PROFIT FROM YOUR BLOGS, AND BEING IN THE POSSISTION I WAS IN I NEEDED THAT. BUT WHEN I STARTED I REALIZED THAT THE FEEDBACK AND COMMENTS WAS WHAT I REALLY NEEDED. I WAS IN A VERY BAD PLACE, I HAD NO FRIENDS, I HAD NOT BEEN IN CONTACT WITH MY FAMILY FOR YEARS, AND I WAS LIVING WITH PEOPLE I HAD JUST MET BECAUSE WHEN I LEFT MY HUSBAND I LEFT WITH NOTHING, AND THATS HOW I FELT,LIKE NOTHING. I WAS UNABLE TO WORK, I DIDNT EVEN HAVE A CAR, AND I LITERALLY COULD NOT BE AROUND PEOPLE WITH OUT BREAKING DOWN. SO WHEN I SAW THAT IT WAS POSSIBLE TO MAKE A LITTLE MONEY DOING SOMETHING I LIKED WELL I COULDNT SEE THE HARM IN TRYING.

BUT LIKE I SAID EARLIER, I NEEDED MUCH MORE THAN THAT. I STARTED WRITTING POEMS AND STORIES, AND REALLY JUST LETTING MY FEELINGS OUT, THAT ALONE HELPED MORE THAN I CAN SAY. BUT WHEN I NOTICED THE SAME POEPLE LEAVING COMMENTS AND LIKEING MY POSTS, IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE SOMEONE OUT THERE KNEW HOW I FELT, AND I WASNT ALONE.

AND THEN I MADE FRIENDS AND STARTED GETTING TO KNOW PEOPLE, ITS REALLY VERY INTERESTING TO GET TO KNOW PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD HAVE THE SAME IDEAS, AND THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, AND STRUGGLES AS I DO.

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A LONER, NOT BECAUSE I LIKE BEING ALONE, ITS BECAUSE I DONT LIKE BEING AROUND A LOT OF PEOPLE, SO BEING ABLE TO GET ONLINE AND HAVE A FEELING OF BELONGING IS VERY NICE, AND COMFORTING.

EVERY MORNING MY CHECK MY EMAIL AS SOON AS I GET UP AND THEN STRAIGHT TO FANBOX, IT HAS BECOME A PART ON MY DAILY ROUTINE. THERES SO MUCH I COULD SAY ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE WITH FANBOX, BUT I THINK IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IT IS SOMETHING YOU SHOULD TRY YOURSELF.

HERE ARE A FEW LINKS FROM MY POSTS AND SOME OTHER POSTS I FOUND INTERESTING.....

http://posts.fanbox.com/dcc34

http://posts.fanbox.com/95x24

http://posts.fanbox.com/54bc4

http://posts.fanbox.com/1n4z3

http://posts.fanbox.com/5vj54

THIS IS A LINK TO YOU TUBE AND A SHORT VIDEO ON FANBOX http://youtu.be/Q_0WooE2wmM

UNTIL NEXT TIME :)

2011-03-11T11:51:00.000-08:00

hello...im back. i have been blogging on fan box and decided i needed to come back to blog spot.there has been so much go on in my life since ie been here and i will get into all that in the next few days...right now i just want ed to say im back...

difference

2010-11-18T06:19:00.000-08:00

What a diifference a year makes. I thought last year at this time i didnt have anywhere to go or anyone who loved me. In the past year ive been through some major changes, i lost my dad about a year and a half ago, i got divorced 6 months ago from some one i was with on adn off half my life...literally...i didnt give up though and now look at me. Im happy, very content in life. Yeah i still got a lot of work to do, but im no longer helpless or hopeless.....

wow

2010-11-06T07:45:00.000-07:00

The changes time will make are incredible......in the last year ive gotten divorced, move to a different state, got my s.s.i. and medicad, back to seeing a doctor. And im back in touch w aubry, they sent me some photos and a figurine and a pic mattea drew. And i got me a boyfriend....yeah yeah yeah i know but its been 3 months and things are still good. So im not complaining. Just thought id sit down and get back on here.........................

2009-09-14T09:09:00.000-07:00

Hello!!! Im so happy to be back in Shreveport!!Things are going good!! I got a message from the Coxs yesterday theyre going to Ireland today, they stay on the go, i like that !!Ive beenhere a week, i would like to get a job but i know its gonna ba hard. Went to the casino the other day and won a hundred dollas, had fun. Well not much else going on more later!!

2009-09-04T11:06:00.000-07:00

Well i am now in Shreveport La. I havent had a computer for a long time i missed blogging. I havent heard from the coxs:(Ive been here just a day, I am exited about being here. But i didnt even tell my ex i was leaving feelin a lil guilty bout that.Were going out tonight cuz hes got to play pool, i cant remeber the last time ive beeen out.

:)

2009-07-30T16:16:00.000-07:00

today was a good day. I cleaned the house, went to the pool, chatted with matthew:)and me and my baby are getting along! I still wish id get a call bout a job!!! That would help me more than anything else!!Talked to my mom i dont know how she does it with soooooooo many kids!Even us grown ones worry her, i try to call her everyday so she dont worry!I miss her!!:( i miss my dad too!!!I was looking trough my photos and i have his drivers liscence, i wish i would have "viewed" him!Still dont know whats gonna happen to the house, we have to come together on that and it dont seem like anyone wants to do anything about it.Its driving me crazy!! But today was a good day!!!

2009-07-28T16:21:00.000-07:00

Went to the pool, wrote a letter to an old friend, and been on the computer all day. I feel so much better today, I guess my bi polar took the day off:) Seriously its hard being bi polar some days are better than others! But i wouldnt change me for the world. I still havent heard anything about a job but when the time is right itl come.I have been very energetic today, happy,and would like to share it with everyone else!!!!

joyce charlene hawkins

2009-07-28T10:33:00.000-07:00

joyce charlene hawkins: "About" I am a 31 year old woman in a relationshp. I have 5 kids from a previous marriage. I am currently unemployed. I ove to be on the computer,love playin bejeweled blitz on facebook. Love bebo like to be able to make playlists kinda like my space. Iam a leo. I have very few friends, looking for some!! I dont get out alot,but i am very personable.I have been looking for aa job forever, no such luck!I love TI and most rap music r&b is cool too. I spend my days on the computer or at the pool.MOSTLY ON THE COMPUTER!!

its a great day

2009-07-28T10:17:00.000-07:00

Things seem to be going better! Im sittin here listenin to TI always makes me feel better!!Ive decieded to let go and let GOD deal with it (as ti says) I kept triying to make things go my way and then got mad when they didnt,things arent always gonna go my way. And i guess i wanted everything to be perfect and thats not going to happen either! But i hace to be happy with myself first and i wasnt, i am now. Hopefully ill get a job before too long.Thatll help me alot,i hate sittin in this apartment all daay long,itll drive you crazy!!

2009-07-26T23:47:00.000-07:00

Im so tired but i cant sleep.Its been a very stressful week.I am confused about alot of things and really have no one to talk to about it.But i know i have to deal with some things no one could help me with.

2009-07-23T17:13:00.000-07:00

Today has been a good day,didnt really do much but i am feeling better.I love my boyfriend and i am nw sure i did the right thing. I have heard from the coxs which makes me feel better. I talked to my mom and even though things there are crazy everone is okay. I miss my dad still, i was thinkin about him earlier but i know hes in a better place!Hopefully Ill get a job before too long HOPEFULY!

2009-07-21T11:55:00.000-07:00

Well i am back from Arkansas. I have been very confused as to what to do with my life.Unsure if staying with my boyfriend is the right thing to do. I love him very much but im afraid i am not the woman he needs or wants. I have not heard from the coxs, that worries me, i ws hopin for some photos from thier trip.I have applied for a jb as a wairess, i thought they would have called me by now, but no such luck.My mom is stressed out. Even michelle is stressin her.I wish there was something i could do for her!!I hope she doesnt drive herself crazy worrin about everything. She needs some kind of help i just dont know what. Well it doesnt lok like ill be able to go back to school not enough money:( But something should come up i mean ive been looking for a job forever!Well i got to call mom back have a good day!

2009-07-16T16:22:00.000-07:00

Wel i am home,i dont think its a good thing. My bfriend has been an ass. Im ready to go again!! I can onl take so much!!Im too old for some of the shit that he pulls! I mis my mom and siblings!!!!!!!!!It was so nice to see them! I havent heard for the coxs im ettin worried. It was a nice visit !!cant wait til the next one!! well more later!!

2009-07-11T16:36:00.000-07:00

Well i am going home tomorrow, i wont get there until monday. my boyfriend has said saome terrible things to me since ive been here. I think i may just go get my stuff and leave i dont need this mess! I miss the coxs thier vack from thier trip but i havent got to talk to them yet:( It was nice to visit my family!! I have missed them sooooooooooo much!! Lots has gone on here since i ve been here!!But im ready to get back to texas!!Where ever i go!!I am very upset right now but ill get over it i always do!!

2009-07-04T17:14:00.000-07:00

heyyall im still in arkansas im lovin it here. I have missed my mom and sisters and brother sooooooooooooooo much!!! Its been 16 years since ive seen them. I miss my boyfriend so much. I love him so much he is so good to me!!!!!!! I cant wait to see him again.Its nice down here we went fishin didnt catch anything but it was fun!! morelater.................

2009-07-03T15:53:00.000-07:00

I am here in Arkansas and im loving it. It was a 24 hour bus ride but it was worth it!!Its hot out here too. I miss the cox's,they're in Ireland so no net for them. I cant wait to take some photos but i just barly woke up i got all week gonna have to get another camera!!Well im gonna get back to my family.

2009-07-01T10:45:00.000-07:00

Well its bout 1pm havent done nuthin today, nuthin to do!!Ihave a drs app in a couple of hours. Ineed to really tslk to him. Im going to visit my sis this week. Im not sure ive got to call to station and see when the bus leaves and arrives. And i need to pack and figure out what im going to take. I wont be able to talk to my boyfriend. But it should be nice to see my mom and sis. All my sisters and brother. Well i got stuff to do , i wont be online while im there.

2009-06-30T13:50:00.000-07:00

Today has been a good day!! I went to the pool then i went with my boyfriend to gat some car parts. He bought me a TI dvd and i LOVE it!!!I got some photos from the adoption agency, old photos:) I talked to my sister and they want me to come up there for about a week znd i already told my boyfriend he didnt really say anything. I have a drs appointment tomorrow then i can go hit the bus for who knows how long, i got to call the bus station and find out when the bus leaves and arrives. Im so excitied!!

2009-06-29T11:44:00.000-07:00

sittin here eatin some bbq. I went to the pool this mornin. My baaby gavw me a kiss this mornin before he left for work its been a long time since hes done that:)Hopefully Ill get something from aubrey 2day.I chated with ann this mornin ,tha lady that has my oldest daughter.I would like to call her but i dont want to confuse her....I hope my boys got thier cards!!

2009-06-28T10:18:00.000-07:00

Hit tha pool already iy was nice and hot!Ihavent talked to the cox's in a couple of days. Ive got so much stuff to do today and i dont feel like doing anything. I wrote my three boys last week, ill try to call them this week,thier uncle hung up on me the last time i tried to call.Thats been over a month ago though. I also need to call kelsey i havent talked to her in months either.I wish ann would send me some photos of her. I asked her to before but she never did. I probly need to talk to my soon to be ex husband see if hes been in touch with them. I dont really feel like talking to hiim though. Well i got things to do.......

2009-06-27T19:22:00.000-07:00

Today was a lazy day. Ive been playing bejeweled blitz alot, its addictive!!ive found im lonely even around other people. Ive been isolating, like i want to be sad. Thats crazy huh? I dont even go to the pool anymore. Got my phone back on,no one to call.crazy.we bbqed today.I miss wichita falls, iniss my dad, i miss my kids. I need a life its driving me crazy sittin here every day doing nothing.But hopefully HOPEFULLY Ill be going to school.

2009-06-26T16:26:00.000-07:00

well i spent all day on the computer it was very relaxing,i played bejewelwd blitz,i love tha game. No thoughts of recent past problems just tuned into the game:)i dont have too many days like today!

2009-06-26T07:56:00.000-07:00

Finally friday i hope my boyfriend doesnt have to work this weekend!Hes geetin my phone turned back on :) im bout to go crazy without it!!Im feeling a lil better than usual. Lately seems ive been lonely and ioslating myself. i need to get out and do more. I hope my baby pays my old loan so i can go back to school. I already have 400 hours itll take me 6 months to finish adn DARS will pay for it all. thats what is good.

2009-06-25T07:26:00.000-07:00

today i feel sad but ill go to the pool it makes me feel a lil better guest layin there listening to the music and relaxing helps. My phone got turned off so i can call anyone Ill have it back on soon but i hate having it off!! Oh well i is what it is.Baby and i are alright he bbqed last night it was nice.Im ready to do some more work on my tat its healed up its been about 2 weeks.icant wait til the 1st i see my dr.miss you dad!!!