Joyful Noise for a Joyful Life

Gathering Friends in Cairo

2026-10-25T04:44:40.476-07:00

Ronnie B and I spent our first day in Egypt exploring the city and had a blast at the antique flea market. The people were friendly and bargaining was expected. Only when we were in Peru did we hear so many horns. I am convinced that these driver’s wouldn’t survive without their horns. They hold surely knock you down if you don’t move out of their way after their beep beep. The vibe was great. People were willing to let me take their picture to show who I got special gifts from. All of them wanted to know where we were from and what our names were. We were warned not to go out in Cairo without a guide. Instead we called an Uber and even got a language lesson along the route. Ron has a phrase list and fine tuned his pronunciations with the help from drivers and those we met while bargaining.

I am taking pictures of those who sell me something to give their sweet smiles along with the treasure. Enjoying this new adventure with my Ronnie B.

In Him,

Joyful

10-25-26

All My Bags are Packed for the Umpteenth Time and I Need to Repack Just One More Time!

2026-10-22T06:56:14.309-07:00

I packed early for our trip to Egypt and Kenya. So proud of me. One and done……not even. I have packed and then repacked multiple times. I feel like this icon since I have been in and out of my suitcase so often. Maybe, just maybe I should wait till the last minute to pack and then I would really be one and done with moments to spare.

Our fellow travelers shared a tip that we should put half Ronnie B’s clothes in my suitcase and half mine in his. That way if one of our bags gets lost we will still have something to wear. Ron even got airtags for our carry on luggage. Why? It can’t get lost if it is with me. Last night he pointed out that they often are out of overhead room and check the bag you thought was going in the cabin with you. Hmmm, I hadn’t considered that.

So here I am the day of departure repacking yet again. Making room for some of Ron’s clothes and considering what clothes to put in his bag. Then Lissa came over with the kids last night. I shared the items I decided not to take. She disagreed and wants me to repack and add them back in. Okay. Mind you I am trying to only take a carry on and a backpack. This also has to include my books to give away. Then Ron said I need my medications and liquids accessible for customs. Now I need to shift things from carry on to backpack so they are readily available. To fit everything including the add backs, I have decided to wear my coat on the plane so it frees up space. Then there is the truth that I will shop on this trip. Where the heck are those items supposed to fit on the journey home?

This is way more complicated than it needs to be. There are in fact stores in Egypt and Kenya. Who knew? So after I post this I am going to repack and hopefully be done once and for all. Now I am not even sure what to wear on the plane. Maybe if I wear two outfits on top of one another I will have more room in my bag. Or I might save that idea for the trip home. Stay tuned for travel posts. I ordered a keyboard for my phone since I am not taking my iPad. Now I need to figure out where to pack it. I guess I will figure it out.

In Him,

Joyful

10-22-26

Ghost is Loved and will be Missed, Until then Hold Her Close

2026-10-21T09:31:40.039-07:00

Oh Ghost, you were just a sweet, lovely kitten in this photo. Now you are a ten year old member of our family. My beautiful daughter called me yesterday in tears. You are going to have less time with us than we hoped for due to lung cancer. What a sad day. Natalie has big emotions and rightfully so. She had the hard task of telling her family this devastating news. Felix FaceTimed me with Ghost in his arms to let me know that his six year old heart was shattered. Loss is loss. Whether it is a human loved one or a beloved pet. This family will snuggle Ghost and give her the best time left.

What a wonderful part of life our pets play. They are our companions that never judge us, only love us. My prayer for Ghost is that she won’t suffer. When the time comes that Natalie and her sweet family will be a comfort to each other as they say goodbye. Love you all so much. Ghost will be missed because she has been so loved.

In Him,

Joyful

10-21-26

Ron’s Eyes…..Then and Now

2026-10-20T06:57:42.378-07:00

I wrote this poem in 1973 when Ronnie B and I first started dating. This summer I was away at a camp that hosted teens with disabilities. It was probably the summer I chose my career path in special education. One of the things that attracted me to Ron was his confidence to look me in the eye when he spoke. This poem came right after Ron came to visit me at the camp. I was a speaker out in the forest during the church service. Rather than it feeling awkward, Ron held my gaze and I was able to speak directly to him. I fell in love with this young man and still love the seventy year old who stretches me to be the best version of myself.

Your eyes tell me say much your strong look shows your warmth and interest in our surrounding world they epress your goodness and love for others but mainly they are sure and don’t turn away but reach out to find the feelings and warmth of others….your eyes.

What an insight to this man I have now spent a lifetime beside. There was no way this eighteen year old could have known the connection we would build. But I knew that Ron was someone who had the confidence to bring out the same confidence in others, in me. I love that I still have the original letter that I sent to him. It is a bit dark and hard to read but that just means that like our love it has not faded with time.

Here we are ready to embark on a trip to Egypt and Kenya and all the adventures that will entail. I would never have the courage to do this on my own but with Ron by my side I am up for the journey. His eyes continue to hold my heart all these decades later..

In Him,

Joyful

10-20-26

Growing My Way Through My Senior Years

2026-10-19T08:29:30.833-07:00

I spoke to a friend yesterday who is nearing retirement from her lifelong career. She pondered that sweet she is winding down yet at the same time still learning to better serve those she interacts with. This is so important. We never stop growing, learning, and experiencing new things in life. Although it can also be true that a lifetime of learning has given us a toolbox of what works and what doesn’t. That is why it is so important to share our finds with younger people who have not had the decades of growth.

It is such a joy to know that Ronnie B and I are going to Kenya to the school/orphanage we support. (Connect with a Childis their website if you want more information or to donate) Tom Abungu is allowing me to take all my tricks of the trade from my special ed career and share them with his teachers. He told me they have not had special ed training and would appreciate any tips that could help one of their students. While I have a plethora of ideas to share, I also know that this meeting will grow me as much as it grows them. What an opportunity to share with those who are in the trenches in this foreign land and who love their kiddos enough to take time to grow.

Each day is a growing opportunity. That is why I get up early to do my Bible study. It is not only to be closely connected to Jesus but also to learn something that hits my heart in a different way in this season of life. Today I learned that each of us does not hear from God in the same way. I would not have thought of myself as a knower but that is my main way to hear Him. I like to say that God gently pressed into my back and nudged me to act. Too often, I resist before moving into His plan but when I do it always creates a powerful connection. There should be a growing aspect of each day. Some will be small and barely noticeable while others can make me need to go out and buy new shoes. Okay, maybe it is not about my feet growing but rather my heart and my head.

When we launch on our trip Thursday to Egypt and Kenya the growing won’t start when we land in Cairo. The people we meet in the airports and on the plane have the power to connect with us and grow our lives. I recall flying from Ireland to Barcelona last year. There was a young mom with three littles. One had autism and was understandably melting down on a plane full of strangers and stimui. This mom did not apologize or get frazzled by her kiddos loudly annoying other passengers. Because she remained calm her young one eventually relaxed into his surroundings. How often I panic and get worked up when things aren’t going as I expected. That does nothing to shift the situation but exasperates it. This mom taught me to take a breath, live through the moment and most importantly not to apologize for what is unavoidable. My hope is she will not avoid flying with her littles in the future just because of the nasty looks she received. I gave her my book and told her how inspiring she was with how she handled her kiddos.

I look forward to meeting people on our journey, on our group tour and at the teacher meeting. It is pretty clear that the next few weeks will be a growing season for Ronnie B and me. I am not taking my iPad so may not blog much but will be posting on Facebook. Barbara Friedman Barber. Please join our journey there. Tell me how God grows you in the next few weeks whether through His word on your couch or off on an international adventure.

In Him,

Joyful

10-19-26

Jean is a SeaGlass Friend, So are You!

2026-10-18T08:03:28.757-07:00

What a gift our friends are in our lives. I appreciate my been there fro decades friends who can remember my parents and all the growing pains of teenage and early adult years. Those who came into my life as we raised our kids together share the memories of busy schedules and houses filled with chaos, exhaustion, and joy. There are those who lived with each other through the tragedies of life and were a constant presence to get us through. Then there are the friends who stepped away for a season but returned to be one of our closest confidants and support. It is how we walk side by side with old friends and those who just showed up but quickly became family that strengthens us.

I met Jean on our trip to Ireland. She just clicked. That she closely resembles my grandma helped but it was really her heart that drew me to her. Although she lives states away and I rarely take time to pick up the phone, she crosses my mind often. There is something connecting us and I know we will be in each other’s lives from now on. Will we ever be together again in person? That is to be determined but doesn’t change the closeness that just is. It is not clear why we have an instant bond with someone but it happens. What a magical thing when it does. I just want to say that my life is fuller because I met her and the fact that she sent cookies for my Dolly Parton party is not why I love this lady.

Let’s treasure those rare people who enrich our lives just by being apart of it. Whether present in our daily routines or present in our hearts the people that we cherish and those who cherish us are the true gifts of life. My hope is to be better at intentionally reaching out when they cross my mind. I know several friends who have a set time to group chat during the week with those they love. I want to do that. It seems I always think of Jean on Sundays yet I never call. Her son spends weekends with her and I don’t want to interrupt their time together. So I need to call my friend and set up a time that is convenient to both of us to spend time catching up and growing deeper in our friendship.

How about you? Who do you need to prioritize to make your week shine just a little brighter through a conversation? Or what if we chose to send a snail mail touch that would surprise them when they went from their mailbox to the recycle to toss the never ending junk mail? Just a thought. I think I will call Jean today and ask what time works for her. If not today I will get distracted and let it slip by. I will let you know how this works for us. Let me know how you stay in contact with those that make your life sweeter just by being in it.

In Him,

Joyful

10-18-26

Egypt has Swimming……Who Knew? Now I Really am Excited!

2026-10-17T07:08:22.412-07:00

In less than a week we will be in Cairo embarking on an adventure I never imagined I would take. This archeology trip sponsored by Jornada Institute is the third we have been on. Ronnie B knows that no trip is a success for me unless there is a bit of water time included. After drizzly Ireland we went to Barcelona for beach time and sun. Now I find out that we will be staying at this hotel in Aswan right on the Nile River. Wow! I guess I will get to swim after all. Ron says I won’t be able to swim in the Nile because it may have critters that would be dangerous to my health. Well, you can bet even if I can’t swim in it, I will put my feet in that water. After all, a pool is not my first choice of swim venues. I much prefer lakes, rivers, surf, or even ponds. But I will spend some time in this cement pond while others explore ancient sites. The temperatures should be perfect for a leisurely swim unlike my frigid dips in Greece.

Let me explain that I have never been a world traveler. My mom and sister never flew on a plane until Ronnie B and I were expecting our first adoption. But a few years ago, Ron encouraged me to go on Dave Greenwald’s trips with him. So here I am ready to embark on number three and excited to explore a place I never realized I would be excited to visit. Who knows where else we will explore in this travel filled retirement? Although I love being home with my sweet cat curled up beside me, I am getting more confident traveling.

The saying parents are spending their kids inheritance seems like a selfish way to live. Rather enjoying life to the fullest is an inheritance. The example to live life to the fullest and spend time together with others. We end our trip in Kenya with Tom Abungu who runs an orphanage and school there. I am going to share some of my teacher tools that I have found effective over a lifetime of teaching. Ron and I are excited to spend time there on Safari and with the young people who have stayed in our home.

Life is unpredictable and we don’t have a magic eight ball to see what the next couple decades hold. For now, we are both healthy enough to travel so we are. Whether it is flying across an ocean or moving north in our little rv to the northwest to see family, we are loving life together. For that I am grateful. Next June, Ron and I celebrate our fiftieth anniversary. Fifty years of being Barbara Barber. Wow! I really think that all the seasons of our life have been a blend of challenges and joy. But this season is quieter in so many ways yet filled with more family than we dared to dream of having. I feel beyond blessed to be a mom and Noni to so many. God is good all the time.

Pray for our safety and follow our adventure on FB or instagram at Barbara Friedman Barber. I hope to share photos and snippets along the way. Love you all for reading my heart story.

In Him,

Joyful

10-17-26

So Much More Beautiful than You Know

2026-10-16T07:29:23.500-07:00

You are more beautiful than the you that you see in your mirror. Let’s not get caught up in the wrinkles, blemishes, or crooked nose. What others see in you is the sparkle in your eye, the smile that lights up their day, and the face that reminds them they are loved. Wouldn’t it be marvelous if we could see ourselves as others see us. Peeking right down to our core not seemingly aware of the flaws we focus on.

My Dad had little red veins that ran around his face. When I looked at him they weren’t even present. What I saw was an ornery dad who knew how to push my buttons, make me chuckle and who never went a day without offering me candy from his candy drawer. He shared his generous spirit with me and for that I am grateful. I got his just give it away heart. He never worried if he would need something in the future. If someone had a need my dad would fill it not concerned for himself. Once I came home from college with an acquaintance to work on a school project. She lived in Flagstaff in a tiny trailer and the temperatures were dropping to freezing. Mom and Dad had just bought a knew space heater for our home. Dad took it out and put it in the car for her. My Mom about lost it since it was expensive. Dad didn’t base his gift on her being a close friend or the cost of the gift. He saw a need and filled it. My Dad’s beauty was the sparkle in his crystal blue eyes and the selfless life he lived.

Each of us would be so much happier if we could see ourselves through the lens of other people’s eyes. Our beauty shines past the flaws we focus on. Somehow our hearts shine through our eyes and that is the us others see in pictures, in person and even through phone calls. I can imagine my Aunt Laura’s face as she shares a blessing with me. Her words are precious but the love that oozes from her face is the true blessing. I need to have my cousin record her so I can have her love with me whenever I need a reminder of how loved I am.

As you brush your teeth this morning, take a moment to look into your own eyes and know that you are a true beauty inside and out. Be assured that you are loved and lovable. Focus on that and be sure to put the lid on the toothpaste so you are not also a pain.

In Him,

Joyful

10-16-26

Packing My Bags Before I Get to the Airport!

2026-10-14T08:04:42.407-07:00

So I am starting to pack for our Egypt and Kenya trip that we fly off to a week from tomorrow. I am not waiting to buy luggage at the airport….duh! But this is certainly a process. Why? I act like there won’t be a store anywhere that I am going. The truth is we are going with an archeology group we have gone on trips with before. So I know we will be staying at upscale hotels and I can imagine there will be shops with anything I might have forgotten. But here I am with everything laid out in our spare room that I am calling my staging room. There are multiple notebooks that contain copious lists of what to take and what needs to be accomplished before I go.

In the midst of all this. I am trying to be mindful of wearing appropriate clothes for the weather as well as the culture. Somehow I don’t think my usual leggings will be conservative enough over there. Who knew I was such a provocative dresser in my everyday life. But here I am having a fashion show so Lissa can reassure me that my monk like clothing will be acceptable and not sweltering. I did buy a scarf to cover my hair when we go in the Mosuque.

Now the trick is to get all this into one carryon bag and one backpack. I refuse to take more than that. Ronnie B has converted me to being a minimalist on trips. Usually I also take half a suitcase of books to give away. This time I am only taking a handful. My kindle needs to be loaded with books I may or may not have time to read. We still need to get Cora to Mike and Deb’s in Flagstaff and share phone numbers with Thomas who is staying at our home. Just in case there is an emergency or if he needs to borrow a cup of sugar. Wait! I have plenty of sugar. The good news is I don’t have to pack all the lists I have created. Hopefully, there will be time to put away all I decide not to take so the spare room is uncluttered in case someone needs to spend a night or two while we are gone.

It is time to get excited with knowing all we will see and learn along the way. That I get to do this adventure with my Ronnie B and some good friends is the best part. When we are in Kenya visiting the orphanage that Tom Abungu runs, I will have the opportunity to do a workshop for the teachers there. All the little tricks that I used over decades of teaching need to be shared. I am grateful for the opportunity to give while we are there. This trip has layers of wonderful and I can’t wait for the adventure to begin. Thank you my Ronnie B for encouraging me to experience more than I ever would on my own. Africa here we come!

In Him,

Joyful

10-14-26

Share Your Light and Stand in the Light of Others

2026-10-13T07:30:37.405-07:00

Let their warmth and joy spread over you like a blanket of love. Be the one who gives light and life to others. We all want to crowd around that person who makes us feel seen and cherished. Be a better listener since each of us longs to be heard. Don’t shy away from the gloomy people. Rather bring your sunshine to them. When we are in a dark moment, we long for a break in the clouds. We can be that light for one another. It is okay not to speak about every ache, pain, or fear. Be mindful about who you share your woes with. Are they a person who can guide you toward a solutions or are they going to just wallow with you in the gloom? I know I can get caught up on repeat when I am hurting but it doesn’t help the ache go away to verbalize it continuously. Rather it focuses me on that one thorn in my side rather than letting all the light that is present to shine.

So today, rather than sharing my rather annoying earache with you I am choosing to tell you what my day will look like with a clogged ear. I am going down to Santa Fe on the sunny day in my FancyPants convertible with the top down and the music on blast. Evelyn is going to cut my hair to perfection for my upcoming trip. Then I am going to go try on pants that are appropriate for Egypt. I mostly wear leggings that are a bit to form fitting for their culture. I am taking a sunshiny person with me so laughter will out loud the music. It should be a fun day filled with light.

Recently Jenn told me I was should ping all over her about something.. Well today I am going to should all over you. You should find someone to get close to that brings joy to your day. You should spill your own joy onto others rather than being the dark cloud. Even in a drought when we are praying for rain the moment the sun comes out we smile. Let the sun shine on you with the top down in your convertible. Fell the warmth on your face and when there is a drizzle be the light with the top up. Don’t forget your sunscreen and enjoy your day and each other.

In Him,

Joyful

10-13-26

A Gentle Nudge and a Warm Connection

2026-10-09T07:56:10.018-07:00

A gentle nudge to move me in the right direction. A soft hand on my back to remind me of the way I should go. A tender voice letting me know that I am loved and enough. This is my Father’s touch. Over the years I have not heard the audible voice of God but felt his presence and direction clearly.

The relationship between us is built when I spend time in silence, in His word, or in conversation through prayer and worship. Relationships need presence and the time to stay connected. That is my goal……..to know Him and to make Him known. Too often when I was younger I got caught up in the busyness of life and let my time with Him be a task that I never got to. At the end of the day or early in the morning He waits. But He was also there in the carpool line when picking up kids or the grocery store waiting to check out. It is not complicated but it needs to be intentional. Just utter a three word prayer to check in. Think of it as a quick call to let a loved one know you are thinking of them. You don’t need to speak for an hour or share every detail of the past week, just reach out. Letting others know they are in our thoughts matters enough to shift a lonely day into one of connection. God is there to listen and be present in my life anytime, anywhere not just by my bed on my knees.

So I listen for the gentle nudge to move me down my path. But I also am intentional to say Good Morning Lord as my keurig fills my cup each morning. I give a quick I’m here as I make my bed. There is a moment spent with Jesus as I brush my teeth and fix my bed head hair. Being intentional to connect helps me live out life the way I choose.

I try my best to feel and respond to the gentle nudge of God and those He has placed in my life to guide me. A perfect example is when I share the book that was created out of a decade navigating the loss of my son. When God prompts me to gift a book to someone I meet in my day it is never to be ignored. The stories I have heard from those I have said yes to are powerful. The last book I shared with a waiter at a restaurant shared that he had lost his own father to suicide in 2022. He told Jenn and me of the journey he had been on absorbing this part of his own story. I am so glad I didn’t ignore God’s hand on the small of my back leading me to walk out to the car and get a book to share with this young man.

Please listen to the small voice and connect with God and with others throughout your day. Please be intentional about prioritizing during the mundane tasks of your day to speak to others and to your Heavenly Father. Your life will be enriched, your direction will be a bit clearer and you will encourage others knowing they are in your thoughts and prayers. I appreciate each of you who read my heart on this page. Please consider following to see when I write.

In Him,

Joyful

10-9-26

Caleb is Definitely in the Cool Kids Club

2026-10-06T08:47:33.220-07:00

This little guy is so adorable. Yesterday, we had a date day and did some Khan Academy. Our letters were c and p. So this hat was perfect. Caleb is officially in the cool kids club. We also went to the store and bought pizza, pickles and pumpkins. This photo was taken at Nambe pharmacy. He sat on my lap and held my hand while I got my covid and flu shots so I wouldn’t be scared. This little bundle of energy can be a lot for his Noni to handle but he can also be the most tender, giving kiddo around. What a gift it is for me to have him living close enough that I can pick him up in my convertible, Fancy Pants, and spend time with him.

By the way, my shots didn’t even hurt and i owe it all to the comfort this sweet four year old provided.

In Him,

Joyful

10-6-26

Into-Me-See, Yes, That is the Intimacy I Long for

2026-10-01T08:40:22.281-07:00

What a gift to have those in our lives that we can share everything that is in our hearts and they still love us and offer acceptance. This is our greatest treasure. Those who walk beside us and choose to show up time and time again. Don’t take them for granted. Reach out and let them know what it means to you to have their support and encouragement in your life. It doesn’t take much for others to feel appreciated. A kind word, a cup of coffee, or a quick text is sometimes just the touch our people need.

A couple days ago I commented on Nicole’s facebook page and she responded that I have always been there for her. It makes me recognize how few and far between my reaching out to this strong young woman is. Yet, in her mind I am one of her supports. Oh how little I have given yet even those small gestures impact her days. Her words were the encouragement I needed to reach out to another friend who has been in my thoughts but she needs to know it. So I texted and invited and we are going to get together.

How many people am I praying for and thinking of without reaching out? Too many to count. What if I made a commitment to myself to let them know when they cross my mind? How different their day may unfold if I take the time to send a quick text or better yet an invite to meet up for a quick phone call or coffee date. My daughter always says I am a selfless person. I hope to live without selfishness but to be selfless means I can’t isolate in my own little world. God calls me to show up for others and be present never to judge and condemn but to encourage and support. His pressing me to not cancel those that feel like a one way relationship. Who am I to judge someone for not being the first to reach out when I am often guilty of the same thing.

Bottom line is that you and I need to be intentional about stepping into intimacy and sharing our days with others. And according to this we will have a more positive outlook, live longer and maybe even improve our health. Now that is something we should all sign up for.

In Him,

Joyful

10-1-26

Much Needed Good Food, Good Friends and Playing Dress Up

2026-09-28T08:30:30.765-07:00

We all need to take time to just play, have fun and be with girlfriends. This Dolly party at our house on 9-25 was such a joy filled time. Nancy was right when she said planning, thrifting, and getting ready for the party were such a good time pre party. The food and company were special and I am thankful for the photos that show just how everyone were up for a good time. The fact that I won for my Dolly boobs was icing on the cake. Speaking of icing on the cake……Jenn’s cake went from disaster to delicious with four cans of frosting. Southern foods that everyone cooled up were delicious and it was a great cheat date for all of

I love that I have a group of friends, couples, and ladies that enjoy spending time together. My life has always been filled with close friendships but never before have I been apart of a group of friends that love when I show up but put no pressure on when I can’t be present. This group always welcomes whoever can make it but never judges those who are missing. I love that!

Let me strongly encourage you to find a group to enjoy life with. We added Sandy to our group when she spoke up and said she loves living in Los Alamos but wanted to find other senior ladies to share a beer with now and again. Well, she told me that and I knew she was supposed to be part of our Monday night fun. She quickly was embraced by all and became a lovely addition to our family of friends.

Our Dolly night was much smaller than we anticipated and we will be eating leftovers for the foreseeable future. But the fun was not diminished by the smaller number. In fact, it felt like just the right people showed up. If more had come I would have had even more difficulty not bumping into everyone with my much endowed bosom. How did Dolly keep from toppling over with her permanent bustling? I am glad mine were lightweight rubber balls and easily removable. Here’s to you Dolly for your generous, inclusive spirit that we can all strive for.

In Him,

Joyful

9-28-26

Our Job is to Give Ourselves Grace Day by Day

2026-09-24T07:06:34.296-07:00

This is my job. Actually, it is all of our jobs as we age. To recognize that our energy level has changed and we must budget not only our money and time but our energy. The trick is to manage our output while not limiting what we can do to increase our stamina. Exercise and eating right along with getting enough sleep is going to go along way to increase our ability to do all we want to accomplish. What a balance it is to rest enough and allow ourselves to have off days while maintaining that healthy lifestyle that boosts our energy.

Ronnie B is so good about going for multiple walks a day. He loves heading out with our Cora dog to move. I need to join him more even when I have to turn back part way in since these two go for strenuous walks that are beyond my capabilities. Will that improve? Yes. But I also have to give myself grace for the times when long covid deprives me of my get up and go. Thankfully, these bouts are not a new normal but periods of rest that are necessary to get back to my more normal lifestyle.

The truth is everything in life s learning to find that right balance. Whether it is parenting, job related or our health finding what works is difficult. Then when we get it figured out to a degree something shifts and wee must start detective work all over again. I have a bad tendency to shame myself thinking that I am just being lazy and making up the exhaustion that I feel with long covid. It does not help me to blame myself for what I am not able to do. I want to be able to support others like I did before this season of life. What I need to be is grateful that there are times I can step up and offer my help to those I love.

The past six weeks or so have been a period of exhaustion and then last week a switch seemed to flip and I was more energetic. I am being cautious to not put the pedal to the metal and overdue. But I am thankful that this last bout seems to be behind me. Jenn had a good way to look at it. Rather than worrying about what is to come just live today with the energy I have and let tomorrow be what it will be. So I am now thinking that I will be able to go on our trip to Egypt and Kenya with my Ronnie B in October. Will I do all that he does? No. But I will enjoy what I can and be willing to sit at a cafe and people watch when an activity is beyond me. This trip is a test of managing energy levels since it is not one busy day but a string of days full of activity.

I hope you are kind to yourself while being healthy as life moves along with challenges along the way. Yesterday, my twenty-two year old grandgirl was under the weather. With two littles she couldn’t just curl up and sleep. But I hope she allowed herself to forego bath time and other tasks. Kids won’t melt if they eat leftover pizza or don’t get their hair washed nightly. Even young ones need to allow for days where less is the right answer. Here is to you giving yourself what you need day by day.

In Him,

Joyful

8-24-26

Partying 9-2-5 What a Way to Celebrate the Dolly that Belonged to Each of Us

2026-09-22T06:33:57.206-07:00

This Friday is September 25th……9-25 one of Dolly’s most famous songs and movies. So to celebrate this incredibly giving person Jenn and I are throwing a Dolly party. It will be filled with friends and laughter, more than a little bit of bling, big boobs and southern food. It excites me that my home will be filled with pink over the top joy and fun. We will have door prizes and contests. Needless to say we went tbrifting to get the perfect pink outfits, larger than life blond wigs and more.

I can’t wait to celebrate the life of this celebrity that stayed true to her faith and beliefs. She had so many charities and stayed out of politics. Her goal was to give as much as she could to all. The books that she sent out filled homes that may not have had any otherwise. My daughter was gifted with a summer working at Dollywood in Tennessee while living and learning with other Christian college students. She even got to shake Dolly’s hand and meet her at one outing. What a treasure this lady was to each of us.

She not only gifted us with her incredible music but her example of how to live life for others while lighting up a room with your own joy. I am excited to make some of her favorite recipes for our gathering and see how my friends choose to show up to fill my home with joy just as Dolly would have done.

Lissa and I have our Dolly hair and are ready for the foolery to begin! Hey, we look pretty incredible as blonds. Oh wait, Lis is a blond. I think it is more our smiles than the big hair that makes us beautiful. Hope to see you Friday if you are in the neighborhood.

In Him,

Joyful

9-22-26

Firefighter, Zach and His Wife Impacted Our Day with Their Act of Kindness

2026-09-20T07:05:19.706-07:00

My cup filled with steaming hot, black coffee this morning says just this……..We rise by lifting others. I love this reminder. It is not about tooting our own horn but celebrating the wins of those in our lives. I love that there are people that I can lift up whether a family member, close friend, or a complete stranger in line at the grocery store. Isn’t it true that when someone else points out something specials about us that it makes our day? What a gift we have in our words and gestures to turn a down day into a positive one with a simple statement.

Yesterday, a firefighter named Zach and his wife made my great grandson’s day at the store. He had been carrying around a firetruck toy that he knew we were not going to purchase. Sometimes just getting to hold a toy is enough to satisfy the desire for it. When we were in line Zach and his wife noticed Caleb and the toy. She said oh that is it. He has to buy it for Caleb. They did just that with fist bumps a promise to visit his fire station and share the book about Caleb’s grandpa. It just so happens that Zach knew of Ryan’s suicide and was glad that I was going to bring a book by his station. I will add to it the picture Elissa took of her son with his toy and the biggest smile. The kindness of this couple impacted to only Caleb and his Noni but the sales clerk and customers that witnessed our interaction. It matters to me when people knew my son, Elissa’s dad and Caleb’s grandpa. It matters that I get to share my book, my testimony of how Jesus walked beside me through the loss of my son. Oh how I wish that Ryan could be here to celebrate Caleb’s fourth birthday next week. But those who surround this little boy with love will remind him of his grandpa who he reminds us of so much.

Opportunities exist even in a checkout line to life others. Zach and his beautiful wife had no idea the loss our family went through when they decided to buy a toy with a firefighter like Zach himself. But the connection it made came from the interaction. Who knows who God is placing in your life that needs a lift that you can give. Whether it is complimenting someone on the color of their shirt or noticing the smile that says how excited they are about something. There are opportunities that we need to grab rather than ignore. Nobody is offended when you open your mouth and say something kind. Let’s all be more like Zach and his wife.

By the way, I can’t wait to take Caleb and my book to the fire station by the golf course and pay Zach back for his gesture that meant so much to this Noni’s heart.

In Him,

Joyful

9-20-26

Stained Glass, Sea Glass, Tapestries that Let’s Our Life Shine Through

2026-09-19T08:50:05.107-07:00

Just like a stained glass window can shine light through the tapestry of life, a piece of sea glass can weather the surf and come out as a treasure for someone to find. I love the imager of both of these. Jon Guerra wrote a song on stained glass. We are all stained it’s true but when the light shines through we all look like stained glass windows.

None of us come through life without stains and rough edges. But when we add light and let those sharp sides get softened even the hardest moments become part of our story. This past week has been filled with thunderstorms that came with downpours or rain and wind that could carry us away. It was so uplifting yesterday when the sun came out and I could get in my Fancypants convertible and let the sun warm my face. I am thankful for the seasons when I get to long for sweater weather after a sunny summer. When I think I can’t take another snowy day the new plants pop up in the garden.

I remember back to a time that Ron and I were facing infertility and then adoption became our hope. Then our first little boy was returned to his birthmom’s arms. It was heartbreaking and celebratory at the same time. Adoption only works if every heart is at peace with it. Here we are decades later with just the right family. Our four chosen children have families of their own and even grandkiddos for our Ryan. We have older grands that are making their way through college toward their chosen careers and wee ones that are navigating first grade and preschool. It is just as it was meant to be and Ron and I just had to prayrfully believe that God had the right family for us. The beauty of adoption is that our family extends to the birth families that are such an important part of our lives and our story. I love that we have lifelong connections and then those who have just recently found their way into this family that was always theirs through dna. Recently, Cam’s Mom, Tammy, and his sister joined the family. Natalie’s sister on her birth father’s side came into our lives. She calls me Noni-ish since their is not really a word for our relationship. I love this growing family that Ron and I believed for and that is now the biggest part of our heart.

Our story goes on like the tumbling of seaslass it gets smoother and more beautiful through the breakers. Nobody promises life will be easy but the fact that we don’t walk the shore alone is what makes even the stormy days beautiful. One can think of life as stained glass, sea glass, or a tapestry that is quilts scraps of leftover material into a warm, lovely gift. Jesus and those he places in our lives never leave us alone but are always present for an encouraging word and a much needed embrace. Oh did I leave out the laughter? Yes, the fun, foolery and laughter are also a light whether it is with little kiddos or old age mishaps.

In Him,

Joyful

9-19-26

Psalm 139:23-34 A Daily Prayer on my Phone Just for Me

2026-09-18T07:50:09.636-07:00

I am putting this as the wallpaper on my phone. It is a prayer that I want to be reminded to pray everyday. This one is for me. Too often I hear God through the filter of how it can benefit others never really internalizing the verse for myself. This needs to penetrate my heart and returning to it day after day will help it do just that. I need God to reveal to me what is stealing my peace that keeps me from Him. What is it that I continue to hold tightly in my grip and why don’t I simply let it go and trust God with it?

It cannot possibly be that I think I have more love or understanding of the circumstance that I am not releasing. Also, my head knows that God loves those I love even more than I could ever love them. He is also much more powerful and all knowing on how to resolve any given situation. But here I sit still clinging to my mom can fix it wand believing if I say the right thing or do the next step to solve a problem that it will somehow fix it. Clearly my efforts have not succeeded in the past. What makes me think my new efforts will prove more effective than what God can do? Too often I let it go just to snatch it back from His capable hands. It is exhausting!

This morning I was listening to a wise 98 year old pastor who shared this verse. I know I have read this verse often over the years. But his prompting to repeat it and let it hit my heart every day made me have hope. Hope that I can let God search my heart for what I need to lay down and what that letting go of can do for my relationship with Him. I want to rest in His peace, to dwell in His grace and trust in His love and kindness. It needs to hit my heart again and again that He has not only my life but the lives of my children and grandchildren in His most capable hands. This I believe but also hope to put firmly in my heart so I can rest.

I highly recommend The Old Pastor’s Table as a YouTube channel that is filled with wisdom for a seventy year old like me but also for younger ones among you. This one I watched this morning and it had not only practical wisdom but verses that pointed to God’s will for my life.

https://youtu.be/QCEuJgWPJa8?is=Bc1tJP0cX-7EzEn-

Let me end with a reminder to myself. Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so. He loves me and knows my worries, my wants, and my heart for others. I don’t ever need to carry these on my own but trust Him with not only my salvation but my entire heart. He has this. I can let go of the rope and let Him have it from now on.

In Him,

Joyful

9-18-26

Adult Everyday Doesn’t Mean No Time for Rest

2026-09-15T07:51:56.015-07:00

Gone are the play dates where we just have to hop in our car seat and be driven to a friend’s for hours of play. Yet, it is simple for us to make a call and show up to go for a walk or a cup of coffee and catch up with a friend.

Gone are the recesses where running for a swing hand in hand with a best classmate makes getting an empty one side by side so special. But we can tag along for a doctor’s appointment and chat on the way. Then we can be there as a second pair of ears and support whatever the physical uncovers.

Gone are the sleepovers cuddled up with friends on our backyard trampoline believing that the shooting stars that light up the sky are just for us. Who knew that people all over the world are also marveling at them in early August. But the sharing of pictures of family and the encouragement of complimenting a fresh haircut can be just as magical.

I am not envying my childhood years and that includes smooth, wrinkle free skin and an abundance of energy. Adulting has seasons. Some are hectic with tasks to complete while our homes are full of wee ones. Others fade into quiet mornings and time to read the book we pick up. Yes, in every season we have to live each day. How I wish I would have recognized sooner that adulting doesn’t mean never taking a much deserved break. Tasks must get completed but too often we put a lot of those on our plates that don’t need to be there. Busy is good. But rest is also important. They say you can’t see the forest for the trees. How often we miss connections because of getting everything accomplished for everyone.

Slow down. Not give up. But don’t wait till you are seventy to spend quiet time. Embrace moments even in the chaos of jobs, family and sports schedules. You need to practice now so you will be an accomplished rested when the time comes.

In Him,

Joyful

9-15-25

Our Millie Girl is Five!

2026-09-14T08:03:30.984-07:00

Happy, happy, happy fifth birthday to our rambunctious Millie. She is such a delight always exploring and trying new adventures. One of her favorite things is to spend time in Noni and Papa’s rv. Whether watching a movie, having a snack or just pretending to drive us on a road trip this girl can spend hours in our little casita on wheels.

I love getting to spend time with this grandgirl who has so much enthusiasm for life and is always up to try anything. Having adult size siblings has encouraged her to jump in and do whatever they are doing. Everyone should be blessed with five grownups who adore you and encourage you to succeed.

So happy birthday Millie. Noni and Papa love you and are excited to see how you celebrate your big day.

In Him,

Joyful

9-14-26

Reframing How I Recieve

2026-09-09T08:00:23.333-07:00

Cherilynn shared this magical photo of a lunar eclipse on Facebook. I absolutely love it! It made me think of how different our perspectives are in life. Most took their photo straight up looking only at the sky and capturing the moon in it. While my friend gave the moon a natural frame which totally shifted the perspective.

I have been doing my best to reframe moments in my life that caused me pain. It is healthier to consider another person’s perspective than to put my own spin on their intentions. How do I know their motives? But I can get caught up in the negative feelings about a situation rather than asking them for clarification or just believing the best about them.

One of the most painful things I have encountered is having my heart misunderstood. Yet, I do that to others without giving them a chance to explain. What a waste of time and emotions. It damages my connection with them and shakes my confidence in myself. So I am trying to believe the best in others motives. Perhaps I need to be more of a Cherilynn photographer than a straight shot photo capturer. Such a beautiful way to see the world and to see others.

Capturing beauty in even the little things is a gift that I want to lean into. What a peaceful way to live. Lately, I have been sitting out on my backporch during the afternoon thunderstorms. For me the thunder and lightning is a majestic reminder of how God nourishes our world. Across the street Percy cowers and shakes out of the fear of the storm. How often I tremble in fear or shed tears over another’s misspoken word. It is possible to brush off hurts or get the truth about their intentions. Maybe they do have a problem with me that I need to explore or perhaps their word was not received as they meant it to be. Either way, I need to see the beauty in even a tiny spider web. After all, we are all connected even when one of us may be supper for the other. Thank you Cherilynn for sharing your talent and perspective with me. You are a true visionary.

In Him,

Joyful

9-9-26

By the way……Susi is older than me! Happy 71st bday my friend.

Enjoying the Me that I am Today

2026-09-07T07:15:59.174-07:00

I hate to admit that as I reached my seventieth birthday, it occurs to me that I was more critical than approving pictures of myself. How often did I slip behind others because I felt fat? Or shunned away from an opportunity to get a photo with a loved one because I didn’t have on makeup or my hair was a mess, it is rare when a person is happy with what their mirror reveals and that breaks my heart. I spent too much time believing that I was not the pretty one. I allowed that perception to steal my joy rather than embracing the moment.

Here I am with white hair and more wrinkles than I thought possible but when I look at the me in this picture, I see beauty. Funny that what society would say had lost the sparkle is me now seeing my own.

Life is not only about how we see ourselves on the outside but who we are and how we see ourselves as we relate to others and how we live our lives. Recently, I have been looking back on the accomplishments of the years that got me to this place. I am beyond grateful that I got to be Ronnie B’s wife and my kid’s mom. That I was able to impact families of my students and Young Life kids is one of my most treasured honor.

Sometimes you hear the question if we could advise our younger self what would we say. Well, I would say accept yourself. Love and embrace just how God made you. Don’t worry if your hair is too thin or your knees are knocked. Rather love yourself inside and out. Then I would tell myself to forgive me for missteps because they may take me down the wrong path but they also will teach me lessons I need to learn. Lastly, I would remind myself to focus on the gifts of life rather than the what ifs that may or may not happen.

Matthew 22:39 says to love others as you love yourself. So it is God’s plan that I love myself so that I can love others and form the connections that make life so rich. It is not being conceited or arrogant to recognize the gifts God created in me that can bring others to Him.

Here I sit writing on my iPad on my back porch with my coffee beside me and my dog and cat competing for my attention. It is so still right now. No kiddos are playing at the park behind my house. There is just silence as I look out over our yard. I love being seventy, wrinkles and all. There are more years behind me than in front of me and I am at peace with that. What I hope is that I enjoy these moments, reflect on the more hectic ones of raising kids, and know that whatever my future holds will be mine to press into. Missing my kids has been replaced with enjoying the quiet time I get to spend with Jesus rather than rushing everyone off to school. Spending so much time with Ron and knowing how fortunate we are to still enjoy each other all these decades later. There is time to read, have coffee with friends, walk our Cora, and just sip coffee as the sun rises between the trees.

The photo in this post does not look like my senior photo but I find it more beautiful in so many ways. Life has been challenging and there have been heart crushing losses along the way. But God has always been with me to take the next steps. Here I am a wife, friend, mother, grandmother and even great grandmother who gets to spend time with those I love. There is nothing not to like about Barbara Friedman Barber at seventy. I only wish I would have recognized how fabulous I am when I was much younger. But maybe I needed those doubts to get me to the peace I have with myself today. So I will pat myself on the back, smile at myself in the mirror and stand out front for the photo. I hope you will do the same whatever season of life you are in.

In Him,

Joyful

9-7-26

What Can I Do to Serve Others on this Day?

2026-09-06T08:04:02.296-07:00

I am writing this a few days ahead of 9/11 so that each of us has time to consider how we would like to spend the day in service to our community. Perhaps it will be helping out an individual or a group of people. Maybe it will be best spent rolling up our sleeves to help someone accomplish a task that they couldn’t possibly complete on their own. Or it may be taking a person who doesn’t typically get out to coffee or a delicious meal. Sometime listening to another is the best gift we can give them. Anyway we choose to serve will impact others and that is the point after all. Reframing this day of tragedy andf heartcrushing grief into one that not only brings us together but allows us to place our head on our pillow at the end of the day with a smile on our face and joy in our hearts.

This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice an be glad in it. Let us never forget the terror that came to our nation, the families that still grieve, or the heroes who ran toward danger to save others. But let’s also remember how it united us as a nation. How young men stepped up to enlist to defend our country and how flags flew over all of America as a symbol of One Nation Under God Indivisible.

In Him,

Joyful

9-6-26

Loving My Kids Through My Changing Role as Their Mom and Trusting God with My Grown Children

2026-09-05T08:04:11.887-07:00

How often through the years have I had to be reminded to get on my knees and turn my hands up surrendering my children and grandchildren to you, Lord. So often I grab my fix it wand and try to make things right in their circumstances. When they were small it was on me to protect and guide them through their early years. But as we know the job of a mother is continually diminishing. That is the way of life. Children grow from an infant needing all their needs meant to a toddler sitting at the table shoving chicken nuggets into their own mouths. Eventually, they don’t need us to drive them to all their practices but get behind the wheel and get their own their own. Then before we know it they are driving off to college and a dorm room that is not under our roof.

It i difficult as a mom to release the control and protection we have over their safety. But that is our purpose. To raise children to thrive on their own with our prayers and listening ears always in the background of their lives. One of the biggest complaints my adult children have is that I give them unsolicited advice. Don’t get me wrong, I need to be present when one of them calls for a recipe or asks how to navigate a situation. But my role is not to pester them with how they should live their daily lives. What I have come to realize is that even if they take a misstep it is not the end of the world. Most of the time they will learn more from their mistake than they ever would from me fixing a problem for them. In fact, I am teaching them a lesson with each of my butting in moments. It can be that I cripple their growth by bailing them out over and over. Cleaning up their messes was my job when they were babies and needed a diaper change but eventually they needed to learn to pick up their own toys and manage their finances on their own. But it is os hard to put down my micromanaging wand and fade into the role God intended.

A praying mom’s job starts before a baby is born and continues to her last breath. That is the consistency of motherhood. Loving and supporting our children even when their choices would not be our choices for them needs to be our focus. Lead with love when we interact rather than getting on our bully pulpit to pound some sense in them. After all, I have learned that I am not always right. Shocking but true. There is that question of how did you feel before you realized you were wrong. You felt like you were right. More and more often I am tuned into how wrong I can be in my thoughts, decisions and actions. Then I need to ask for forgiveness or correct my mistake. My prayer for me is to let love and kindness be the motivation in all I do just ads 1 Corinthians 16:14 says. I even had it tattooed on my wrist as a reminder.

Forgiveness is mine. God forgives me and I need to forgive myself and then pray to do better especially with my own children. My seventy years of life have given me wisdom and the wises thing I can do is trust those I love to God’s loving hands and know that He loves them more than I do. That is hard to comprehend but oh so true. Trust, faith, love are what I need to hold onto when I sit in my home that is not an empty nest but one I choose to fill with others. Those precious children of mine may not lay their heads down under my roof but the memories are always present and my door is always open. Now Ronnie B and I share our home not with our children or even our grandchildren since they all have home of their own. Now we invite students, postdocs, and scientists to sleep in their rooms while they work in our hometown. What a gift to always have others in our home and to rest assured that God has His hands on our grown children even when we cannot physically kids them good night.

In Him,

Joyful

9-5-26