JoyZAChoice

Hedonistic Sustainability

2012-01-31T15:16:00.000-08:00

I'm a big fan of TED. The talks range from the completely esoteric to political, ecological, sociological, medical, artistic...well hell...they're all over the place and pretty much cover the whole spectrum of Life as we live it. Brilliant minds who take the stage for (usually) no more than 17 minutes to share what they've discovered and inspire the rest of us to discover our own outer edges. Good stuff ALL.

Today's email (they usually come once or twice a week) had one video that sounded so interesting, I stopped what I was doing to watch. And BOYHOWDY...was I ever glad I did. This guy and his designs are mind-boggling. His name is Bjarke Ingels. He hails from Copenhagen, Denmark. And the guy is a noholdsbarredoverthetopGENIUS! I don't often post videos, but this one was a MUST. Grab yourself a beverage and sit for a few (22 and a half) minutes. C'mon! You can spare THAT!). I'm tellin' ya...this is terrific stuff!

Hedonistic Sustainability by Bjarke Ingels

P.S. If, for some reason, you cannot get there, just shoot me an email and I'll send it to you directly. I tested the link...and it works for me. But sometimes stuff happens.

THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX!

Old Fogey Mode???

2012-01-31T11:11:00.000-08:00

It seems there are a whole lotta folks coming into some sort of Old Fogey Mode lately. Several of my friends, including a few who have been around for more than a couple of decades, have suddenly turned into their parents. Or some such. They've been saying stuff like: "I miss the days when..." or "I just don't understand these kids today...." or "That music 'they' listen to is nothing but a bunch of noise"...etc., etc., etfreakincetera.

Now I'll be the first to admit that I'm not all that crazy about some of the stuff that's called "music" right now. But then...there are lots of music genres, even from "my" day that sound like a bunch of noise to me. So I don't think it's necessarily about the times, but rather about choices. {there's that word again...}. Perhaps it is a bit daunting to some people to realize that they're not hip to the technology of the times. Maybe it scares them. Or maybe they're just too freakin' lazy to learn. Or maybe (heaven forbid!!!) they really are turning into their parents. What a travesty!!!

One friend in particular has always been quite a clever and witty fella. He's smart, charming, easy-going and a joy to be around. Mostly. But lately he's been saying these kinds of things and it's a bit alarming to hear; especially coming from him. He was bitching about "new-fangled phones" and "stupid computers". He was also going on a rant about how "none of these kids could find their way around the block without some kind of navigation system. They don't know how to drive a stick (manual transmission) or change a tire. What is to become of us?"

I had to take a long breath lest I turn into the proverbial preacher on her soapbox. It really surprised me to hear these words coming out of his mouth. So I waited. I waited until there was a long enough pause to know that he was done ranting. And then I said, "You know I love you more than my boots, right?" And his immediate response was, "Uh-oh. I hear a lecture coming." We both laughed and then I said, "No. No lecture. I just want to pose a few questions. What to do you suppose your parents thought when you came home with your first cell phone? Do you remember that? Do you remember what they said when you told them you were going to move across the country? Or when you moved in with your first girlfriend OUT of wedlock? What do you suppose they were thinking then?"

I could tell he was really thinking about it. He didn't say anything for a bit...and neither did I. And then he said, "I guess I see your point. But I still don't get how these kids can go through life without the tools to navigate their way without the use of electronics. It's just stupid!"

I'll spare you the rest of the conversation. Suffice to say that by the end of it he was softening up to the idea of an evolutionary process. And that he wasn't quite so angry about his earlier rantings. But he never would soften to the idea that computers are brilliant tools that can open up the entire world, right here at our fingertips. He has one. In fact, he even bought his (80 year old) mom one for Christmas. Something he now regrets because he can't help her understand how to use it any better than "those kids" can understand their innate sense of direction. He swore to me that he does read my emails but he will NOT send any back. I asked why he even bothered. He had no answer to that.

It left me feeling a bit unnerved. I wanted to run over there and show him how fun computers are. I wanted to bring up some "new" music that I just know he'd love. I wanted to give him a whack on the head! But I couldn't do any of those things because he lives clear on the other side of the country. So I left it alone and told him I didn't care whether or not he emailed me, so long as we still had our weekly phone visits. He seemed happier when we hung up but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was losing a part of this man who was once one of the most vivacious and fun-loving people I know.

I wonder if this isn't exactly the kind of thing that makes people "old". I wonder if these kinds of insidious resentments just kind of sneak up on you until you wake up one day and find some Old Fogey staring back at you in the mirror. I pray that he, along with my other friends who are fighting so hard against our evolution, will see their way to a fresh new outlook. Otherwise, I may soon have old friends who are "old" in more ways than one.

Who'da thunk?

it's ALL in your head

2012-01-30T16:12:00.000-08:00

You know I'm big on choosing Joy. You also may know, if you've been here for any length of time, that I am a huge follower of the theory of "Creating Your OWN Life". As in: it is what you make it. Or (in case I need to go even further...) THOUGHTS BECOME THINGS.

Any way you look at it, the choice is pretty clear. Well, it is for me anyway. Either choose to live as joyfully as you can or NOT. Whatever happens in your world on a daily basis is absolutely your doing. Too much responsibility? Maybe. But I've never been one to shy away from that sorta thing, particularly if it happens to be the responsibility of how joyfully or miserably I live my Life. I will admit there was a time that this was not how I lived my life. The part about taking responsibility I mean. I was one of those who used to blame everybody and their mother for my ill fate. Beginning with my parents and ending with the last man who made the choice to live with me. Poor guy. He had NO idea what he was getting into. But I digress...

The point is, there came a moment when it all became crystal clear to me. It was, of course, after I ditched the Poor Guy and hit the road to return to the Great Pacific Northwest. With dogs and cat and every possession I owned, we traveled across country with nary a care in the world. We were met with kind truckers, generous travelers, and other assorted characters who made the trip more than a mere cross-country relocation. Those folks (and some critters too) turned it into one of my greatest adventures. When we finally reached Washington, I was both happy to be home and sad that the adventure had ended. But I was wrong. It had only just begun.

Shortly after my return I realized that everything I'd theretofore held as my truth was about to unravel. FAST. And as it did, I became even more aware of just how much of the crapola I was living was caused by my own thinking. I had intended to start over. But I was still holding on to all manner of junk that had weighed me down in the first place. Even though I'd left behind the Poor Guy and all the crap that went along with that relationship, I was still carrying it. Just couldn't seem to let it go.

Call me stubborn, but it took a while to figure out that it was, truly, all in my head. Every smidgen of ill will and discomfort, poor choices and broken toes, bad jobs and horrible hair, stupid encounters and feckless repairs.... all a result of my thinking. All a result of my inability to truly start over. All a result of me living in my own Denial.

But every camel has its straw. And when mine landed, it was not pretty.

Flash-forward about 10 years (between which there was more unraveling, more traveling, more angst, more blame...)

FINALLY, I got the whole picture. And when I did it felt like somebody had lifted the weight of that camel off my back. (Camels are not small critters. It is said that the average camel weighs somewhere around 1500 pounds. If you happen to be a smallish person {I weigh in at a whopping 105 pounds}, 1500 pounds is a whoooooole lotta extra weight. Know what I mean?)

I felt free as the proverbial bird in the sky. And even though there were occasional moments of lingering sadness, it was mostly the dregs of some romantic notion that the Poor Guy would get his shit together (as if all this were his fault. SHEESH!) and come knockin' at me door. Happily, he did not. Nor did I continue to wish as much. When I finally reached that place of Knowing, of being truly happy in my skin, all manner of ickiness fell away...leaving me to muse over what I might like to do for the rest of my Adventure here on Planet Earth. The choices are endless, the possibilities countless, the magick at my fingertips.

For today, I sit in this incredibly beautiful space, writing to my heart's content, living with His Curly Highness and enjoying most every minute of my days. To be sure, there are still occasional challenges that make me rethink thoughts, suffer change and wonder aloud if I'm completely crazy or only half way. But regardless of the verdict, I wouldn't trade my life for anyone elses. I love the fact that in MY world, everything really is in my head. And whatever this pretty little head can imagine, this crazy little Imp can live.

I'd say those are some pretty fantastic choices.

His Curly Highness ~ {after I cut his curliness off. He is NOT amused.}

Meatless Fridays

2012-01-22T06:47:00.000-08:00

Every now and then a book comes along that really takes you by surprise. A book so unlike anything you might have previously read, that it makes you wonder why you never considered reading a book like it before this. One such book is the newly released "Meatless Fridays". The author calls herself "Ebby", leaving us to wonder who she is and why she chose to remain anonymous. But after reading this dynamo of a book, some of that is more easily understood.

"Meatless Fridays" is a book of (both) short stories and poetry. Ebby's style is cozy and comfortable. Almost conversational. It's as if she's talking with you rather than writing to you. And there is no mistake that this wonderful writer has a depth of soul that will evoke more than just a few emotions from her readers. She takes you on a ride that you will not soon forget. She opens old wounds and heals old scars. She allows you the moments to breathe into the hard, strong lessons that she has gleaned from her life, as if she is wrapping her arms around you from a place of higher Knowing.

It is a wonder to me that she has not published before. Perhaps the intimacy of her stories was to much to bear to a world of cynics and nay-sayers. Or maybe she just needed to find her own perfect time to let these beautifully crafted pieces come into their own. Whatever the case, it is a great gift she shares with us and I, for one, am thrilled to have found such a talented, passionate Wordsmith.

It is quite apparent that Ebby has lived a full and tumultuous life. Although there are some moments of deep sadness, she does not leave you in that sorrow for long. Always and without fail, she lifts you up before she moves on. As if she is saying, "Do not fear your pain. It will bring you to the greatest joys you could not ever have imagined. Trust your Life and it will bring you the fruits you seek."

Ebby is, without question, a beautiful Human Being who wants each of us to live the Joy we came here to live.

It is to that end that I offer this little blurb about "Meatless Fridays". It is not only a book that needs to be read, it is also a book that may very well change your life in the reading of it. When was the last time you said that about a book?

For more information and to order your copy of "Meatless Fridays", visit Big Table Publishing HERE.

THIS JUST IN!

2012-01-21T10:35:00.000-08:00

Alba Nelly Urbina, of Moxie Metal fame, has a brand new commerce site. If you haven't seen her marvelous work, now is as good a time as any!

Moxie Metal at Bonanza

P.S. There is a short video available for viewing on the left sidebar. Check it out. It is really quite a wonderful piece!

Holy Guacamole!

2012-01-20T10:00:00.000-08:00

And another Friday arrives...

Once again I am astonished by how quickly these days just zoom by. One minute it's Christmas Eve...next thing ya know it's the end of January. WHUT THE.....???

So I got to thinking about all the gurus who claim that this time/space reality is just an illusion. How time is really about perspective. How everything that we see and experience is simply our own estimation of said illusion. When Einstein was doing his research he was convinced that all of this that we call 'reality' was some kind of cosmic joke. Ol' Albert did have a sense of humor (if you don't think so, just get a load of that crazy hair!). Anyhoooo...Mr. Einstein made many claims about his own estimation of this place we call home, and for the most part was met with great consternation. Many of his colleagues thought he was out of his damn mind. And maybe he was. But the fact remains that long after he left the planet, physicists and other scientific types found his theories to be amazingly accurate. Go figure.

But lest I digress (ooops. too late...) what I'm trying to get at is this:

What IF the whole time/space reality really IS an illusion? What if all the things we see and hear and touch are just "real" because we believe them to be? What if we didn't believe that the chair we sit on or the pain we feel were real? If we were to convince our puny human brains that the pain is an illusion, would it then disappear? Would our "lack" of whatever it is we think we're lacking no longer be part of our experience? Would the clock no longer hold any meaning to us?

Just wondering.

Uh oh.

the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

2012-01-13T10:40:00.000-08:00

This post has been deleted due to lack of participation....

Oh well.

Shit happens, huh?

Have yo'self a grand and glorious day.

The gate is open...

2012-01-12T11:52:00.000-08:00

Okay. For the record, yesterday just had too many glitches for a good posting, so I opted to skip it. No apologies. Just sayin'....

But today is a new day and as with any other thing, one does not have to relive what one does not want to relive. So...I got to thinking about epiphanies. You know...when you get this outta nowhere insight that just lights up your brain like fireworks on the fourth of July. Sometimes those epiphanies are so delicious. They make you feel like you're on top of the world...and not a thing can stop you from enjoying the view. Other times...not so delicious. Other times they are even a bit sad. Because after "all that time", you realize that this thing that has come to you is not necessarily a loveliness. Sometimes...it's simply about letting go.

There are all manner of cliches about this "letting go" thing. But lest I lose my train of thought (which is oh-so-easy to do), I shall forego citing them. Instead I will offer this:

There are times in one's Life when it just makes good sense to stop holding on to something that only ever seems to cause one pain. Say, for example, the thought of a sibling or close friend who seems to have cut loose any ties that may once have been so strong. It is a kind of melancholy that cannot be put into words. It is a mixture of sad and lonely all at once. It is simply not the kind of thing a JoyLover wants to spend any time with. Yet, somehow, these things must be met head on if one wishes to move onward and upward on the Joyful Path. And so...such epiphanies can be both cathartic and painful.

The good news is that once one has met this Beast face-to-face and finally put It to rest, there is a sense of freedom that washes over you; a kind of cleansing that can only be attributed to the release of ickiness. A breaking of the chains that bind, as if someone swung open the gate and said, "FREEDOM AWAITS! GO NOW! PLAY! ROMP! DANCE!"

It is this kind of epiphany that, once seen, can turn one's world into a brandy new playground. The sadness may linger for a bit, but there is more Joy than sadness. More light than darkness. More of the Good and less of the Ick. It is much muchier. Know what I mean?

I am reminded of that old saying that when one door closes, another will open. It has been my experience that the new door always leads to more of the things that I want. There has never been a time when that door did not lead me to more of who I really am. And for this, I am eternally grateful and fully appreciative. It's good to know, even in times of wavering trust, that it will all turn out just as it is meant to be.

Doncha just LOVE that?

The Big Bang

2012-01-10T19:27:00.000-08:00

I just have to post this. Mostly because it cracks me UP every time I hear it; also because this show reaffirms my faith in the talented writers (and actors) still doing good work. Yes, The Big Bang Theory happens to be my numero uno favorito show on TV...and the song is NOT as easy to sing as ya might think. Go on. Give it a try.

routines

2012-01-09T11:21:00.000-08:00

The thing about habits is that once you break one, it's kinda tough getting back in the groove. Most folks talk about habits like they're a bad thing. But what about the good ones? Like brushing your teeth after every meal. Or going for walks with your dog every day. Or your morning exercise routine. Or ... making time to write every single day.

See, for those of us who are creatures of habit, once those little routines get mangled, it's like trying to untangle a thin rope full of knots. Not so easy as it looks. It takes patience and a stubborn commitment to either re-create that little routine or make a whole set of new ones.

Know what I mean?

Case in point: once upon a time, this writer wrote on both her blogs, 3 different eZine sites, AND her next book...every day except Sundays. Sundays are reserved for football, tennis, visiting with family, frolicking in the great outdoors, and assorted other mindless activities that rejuvenate this writer's brain. That routine worked quite well for me; for a long time. And then...all kinds of stuff happened. And the routines went out the window. Every day I'd tell myself, "Get back to it, girlie. You know what happens when you ditch the course." But somehow, I just let it slide.

So here we are. A new year and another new beginning, as it were. A time for seeing dreams clearly. A time for ditching the crap that doesn't feel right and making room for all the stuff that does. A time to git yer shit together...whatever that might mean.

To that end I have decided that instead of starting my day with crossword puzzles and hours on WeTopia, I shall begin each day with my Muse. I will make my coffee and invite her to join me. I will put everything else aside until I have written something somewhere that has not been written before. Well...at least by me. And then...we shall see just what this new year has in store for this hermit in the far reaches of a place called Hidden Valley.

Let the unfolding begin....

It's YOUR Life ....

2012-01-06T08:23:00.001-08:00

I made this slideshow some time ago...and a friend recently reminded to watch it again. Go figure!

2012...and here we go again!

2012-01-01T07:08:00.000-08:00

To all of you out there who visit this little blurb ~

I wish you a splendid New Year. I wish you all things good and joyful. I wish you perfect health, grand adventures and all that you may want in great abundance. Most of all, I wish you the right that is yours:

JOY.

May you walk through each day remembering that joy is a CHOICE....and choose to live that joy every moment of your beautiful life.

Go well.

My heart ~
Camille Olivia

WeTopia

2011-12-13T14:49:00.000-08:00

I've never been big on playing games on the computer. Aside from my morning crossword puzzles, that is. I do those to get my brain awake...and keep it firing on all cylinders. Always have. Even before computers. But recently Ellen (Degeneres, that is) brought something to my attention and I just had to go see for myself.

Turns out the folks who put this dandy little game together had a whole 'nother thing in mind. The objective: to actually HELP PEOPLE around the world. Imagine that. So here's how it works:

For every "point" you score, you are actually earning JOY (now if that doesn't just thrill me to pieces, you don't know me at all!) And once you've earned 100 Joy Hearts, you can send them to various organizations who then send food, books, water, and all sorts of other stuff to places they're needed. There are all sorts of different categories from which to choose. As with most games of this kind, the more you play, the more you earn. Get other people to "neighbor" and you help each other along too. It's just the COOLEST THING EVER!

Another by-product of playing this game is that for the first time since I began using FaceBook, I am actually allowing "strangers" to befriend me (and vice versa). I guess you could say I've always been a bit paranoid about allowing people I don't know into my little realm there. But this game changed all that. Because I figure if they're wanting to help out, why not befriend them too? What's that saying...."a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet." Go figure.

Anyway, it's pretty wonderful to know that even if we don't have lots of money to send to those in need, there is still a way to do it. For those of us who have more time than money, it sure does feel good to know that because I spend a little time playing a game, some kid in a third world country is going to have fresh water and food. I LOVE that!

So I thought I'd put it out there. I thought maybe you might like to help too. And...if you're so inclined, be sure to send me an invite. I'd LOVE to play with you too!

For the link to the WeTopia FaceBook Page, GO HERE.

Truly Splendid Gifts

2011-12-05T13:33:00.000-08:00

Here we are again...nearing the end of another trip around the sun. Snow is falling, air is frosty, and the scurrying has begun for those special gifts for your special people. For some, it's a happy endeavor. For others, not so much. Personally I find the whole hunt a magical adventure; but then, I feel that way about most things. I like the idea of "hunting" for the perfect gifts...and more and more I find that I am most excited when I find things that are handmade, unusual, and best of all, one of a kinds. There are lots of options out there, folks. And lots of them can be gotten from the comfort of your home! What's not to like about THAT?

So then....on behalf of all the artists, artisans, cottage industries, local crafters, and Mom 'n' Pop shops....PLEASE REMEMBER TO....

Also, Alba Nelly Urbina, of Urbina Designs and Moxie Metal fame, has some incredible stuff up and ready for you for this holiday season. If you go to her Etsy store (Moxie Metal) and type in the code: MoxieCam at checkout, you will receive a 10% discount.

Some other favorite spots to shop online are:

MyTeesRock

BoneSighArts

TheMuseIsIn

Whispers

Just tell 'em Camille sent ya!
Happy Hunting!

something to think about

2011-11-09T11:59:00.001-08:00

Dreams are born every day. Dreams, grand and glorious, born from the ever-expanding Self. Dreams that fuel us to rise, urge us to move, sing us to sleep so we may dream even more. Dreams are what make the journey so thrilling, even when they seem to stall. Dreams really do come true.

There are some who fear the fulfillment of their dreams. They fear that once the dream is realized, they will have nothing more to live for. That after the box is opened, there will be nothing left to unwrap. What they do not seem to remember is that for every dream realized, a new dream is born. Because it is truly the nature of the Beast. We do not stop at one. There is always more to see, more to want, more to be.

And so, if dreams are born anew, ever and ever on, then it would seem that we will never have it all. And this, my friend, is a marvelous thing to know.

Kinda changes the face of the adage, eh?

Pay Attention!

2011-11-08T16:16:00.000-08:00

Doncha just love it when that miracle you've been looking for just shows up at yer door? Just like it was the easiest thing in the world? Like the gods are asking, "what were you waiting for? It was there all along."
Doncha just love that?

I do. I think it's about my all-time favorito thing ever. And every time it happens, I ask myself the same question:
"Why did you make it so hard?!"

Seems to me that miracles aren't nearly as hard to manifest as we make them out to be. Seems like we were actually wired to perform them. If you really think about it, we started as miracles, so why wouldn't we be able to do them too? Right?

Okay. Maybe I'm making light of all this because it always seems so easy in hindsight. Or because I knew all along it was going to happen, so it wasn't really all that amazing. But the truth is, it IS amazing and I get all gaga every time it happens. Clap my hands, dance like a crazy person, ya-hoooing all over the place. And yea, I even do the laugh-til-I-cry thing. All on account of my having focused so wholly, so purely, so tenaciously that there was no way the Universe wouldn't deliver.

I say we all outta get a clue on the miracle thing. J.C. wasn't the only one who could make magic happen ya know. And he even said so himself. So how come we're always asking, asking, asking for a miracle but never believe it's actually gonna happen? What's up with that anyway?

I'm here today to remind you once again:

Miracles happen.
All the time.
Ya just gotta pay attention.

The end.

Hally Happoween!

2011-10-31T13:13:00.000-07:00

Holy Halloweenie! Can you believe it's the last day of October? Where oh where did the year go? I swannee, time just keeps flyin' on by. Does it feel like it's going faster to you too? Or is it just me? I'm all agog today, even a bit disoriented. Just cannot understand the speed with which the first 10 months of this year have flown. Am I reaching the end of the roll (ya know how toilet paper rolls seem to shrink faster at the end?)

Anyhooo...

I like to think that time is an illusion anyway. That all we really have is time...and then...we're gone to that Other Place where (I'm betting) there is no such thing as time. As my brother is fond of saying, "We have time and then we're dead." Nice, huh? That being the case, perhaps this whole "I can't believe it's Halloween!" thang is kinda moot, doncha think? So then...is there a point here?

Well, as a matter of fact, there is! The point is, time is marching on. This is a good thing because if it weren't we'd be...ummmm....dead, right? And who wants dead? Really though, the point is, it doesn't really matter. The time part, that is. It doesn't matter because a) it's an illusion and b) it beats the alternative. I'd rather have time marching onward than not being here at all. At least for now. Which leads me to the real point (oh yea. those first two were teasers): the real point is that the only part of "time" that has anything to do with anything is the NOW part. The part where we are right here..right at this moment...right...NOW.

I'm guessing you've heard that before too, huh? There's a whole lot of "living in the Now" stuff going 'round these days. Eckhart Tolle wasn't the first one to get on that band wagon. But he may well be responsible for the latest band of adventurers riding that wagon. The book was pretty good. (that would be "The Power of Now") and the next one was equally worthy of reading ("A New Earth"). Both spoke extensively on the topic of living in the Now...and both lent further perspectives on letting go of learned behaviors and unspoken limitations. He urged us to quiet the Ego, simplify our lives, and crack open the vault of Knowing. Simple, useful suggestions for anyone not quite thrilled with their current state of being.

I, for one, have found other means to the same end. My tools are varied and various, bold and bodacious, fun and funner. They are the tools I have hand-picked over many years of shopping for what suits me. Since they were gotten with me in mind, I shan't tell you they're tools you need to have. But...(always with the "but") I will say that it's worth the time it takes to gather your own. The ones that suit who you are, that will help you build your House of Dreams. Whatever that means to you. Just remember: since time is an illusion, it doesn't really matter how "long" it takes for you to get there. Because, in the end, there is no there. There is only here.

How's that for a point?

Hally Happoween~

People Alert: Listen to what they're telling you!

2011-10-26T15:41:00.000-07:00

Ever notice how often somebody will tell you about themselves, and you totally ignore what they're telling you? Ever have somebody say, "Well I'm really just an asshole. It's who I am." and the next thing you know you're saying, "NO YOU'RE NOT!"

Well my friends, let me let you in on a little secret: when folks tell ya stuff like that, don't argue. Just pay attention. It's more than likely you're going to see for yourself. I know. I've been there. And to this day, it still astonishes me that I will (sometimes) not believe what they're telling me. Truth is funny like that.

I'll give you an example.

When I first met the man I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with, he told me he was a "Class-A Jerk". I laughed. I couldn't even consider he was telling me a truth. Cuz from where I stood, he was my dream. He was smart and funny and romantic and polite and doting and all the things you'd ever want in a man. The first 2 years went beautifully. We were in love. We were inseparable. We were having a ball together. So all the little tell-tale signs were flyin' right by my blinded-by-love eyes. Didn't see a single one of 'em. And then...right after we got married, BAM! There it was. All the things he'd shown me were suddenly so obvious I couldn't believe I'd missed any of them. I could not believe I was that naive. My best friend had been trying to tell me all along. I ignored her. My sister too. Same with a few of my co-workers. Didn't hear a word.

When I finally realized that what he'd told me at the start was true, I was numb with disbelief. How could I have been so blind? How could I have not seen the signs that were now so obvious???? I felt like such an idiot. Worse, I was married to the jerk!

The good news is that it taught me a very valuable lesson. Even though I harbor no bitterness or resentment toward the man, I am still amazed that I even went through the experience. But, like I said, lesson learned. From that day forward, whenever I hear anyone say "I am ....whatever", I pause and take it in. I don't dismiss, argue or otherwise judge their confession. I just log it and carry on. Sometimes, when it is something I consider to be harsh, I will high-tail it outta there with nary a second glance. Because I know now that when somebody tells me who they are, LISTEN UP! Because chances are, they're not kiddin'.

Just sayin'.

P.S. If this seems less than "joyful" to you, you might have missed the point. I'm not whining, ruing or otherwise "down" on the lesson. I am grateful to have learned it. And yes, I still remember my ex-husband with great fondness. Even if he was a jerk.

the whole selfish thang

2011-10-19T13:28:00.000-07:00

Been thinking a lot about the word "selfish" lately. Mostly because it appears that we have been taught that it's a bad thing. From the time we're little kids, we are told we must share. We must put others first. "Tis better to give than receive". So it got me to thinking about the view from "outside". Here's what I mean:

Let's say you're going about your business, doing what you do, being who you are. You make it a habit to help people when you can, doing whatever it is for the sheer joy of helping. No agenda. No ulterior motives. Just being "nice". It's who you are. It's how you are. It's not really anything you give a lot of thought; just "being" the you that is you. Then one day, someone calls you up and asks for a "favor". Maybe they want to borrow your truck or drop their kids off for the day or come over to your house and use your swimming pool so they can have a huge party. Problem is, you don't much feel like doing whatever it is they've asked you to do. You don't like anyone else driving your truck. Or you're not in the mood for a bunch of noisy kids screaming through your house for the next 8 hours. Or you're just not into having a bunch of strangers coming over to your house, whoopin' it up and making a mess. So you say, "No."

Next thing you know, they're calling you selfish. They're reading you the riot act for not obliging their request. They call you all sorts of other things (on top of the selfish bitch that you are) and hang up the phone, swearing to never speak to you again.

As you drop the phone and hear the echo of their words in your head, you get that awful feeling in the pit of your stomach and begin to question whether or not their accusations are true. You feel the pain of their wrath and wonder if maybe you are being selfish. You second-guess your very nature, all because you said "no" to someone who has over-stepped some boundaries. In short, you feel like shit for having said no.

Now I want to offer this up because it seems to me that few people ever get past the feeling like shit part. And maybe it's because of that whole "don't be selfish" thing. What if...when someone calls you selfish what they're really saying is, "How DARE you not put me first! How DARE you think of yourself and your needs before mine. How DARE YOU!"

Because from where I sit, that is precisely what is going on. When people call you selfish, what they mean is that you have no right to put your needs and desires before theirs. If you weren't so selfish, you'd want them to be happy. You'd want them to have what they want, no matter the cost to yourself. See what I mean?

I suppose the folks who have the hardest time with this whole selfish thing are the ones who are utterly selfLESS. The ones who go out of their way to do, do, do for everyone but themselves. And the moment that someone calls them selfish, they are so astonished they can't even breath. It's a sad and common thing. But it happens. Too much. To many fine people. And the worst thing of all is that they think they are being selfish, just because somebody said so. Very sad indeed.

The last time someone called me selfish, I laughed and said, "Yep. You're right. I AM. And guess what? I don't really care what you think anyway. Because if you weren't being so selfish, you'd see that your accusation is all about YOU, not me. Your judgment of me is utterly irrelevant."

Stopped 'em dead in their tracks. And even though it didn't mend any fences, they were fences I didn't want mended in the first place. I have no room nor any desire to have such people in my world. Am I selfish? Yes I am. Sometimes. And I don't think there's a reason in the world to have to justify my choices to anyone. I do plenty of stuff for other people. I do it because I want to, not because I am obliged. As far as I'm concerned, anyone who wants to point their finger at me and judge can just go stand in the mirror for a minute and see who the jury is. I'm not having any of it. Judge if you wish. But I'm not obligated to honor your decision. The only judgement that matters to me is MINE.

So there.

Crayola

2011-10-18T12:54:00.000-07:00

When was the last time you broke out your crayons and colored? You know, like in a coloring book? Like how you did it when you were a kid? Do you remember? Did you color inside the lines? Did you make up your own stuff or use a pre-drawn book? Did you have the big box or the small box? Did it have a sharpener built right into the box?

Yea. I know. It's been a million years, huh?

Well then. Maybe you outta go git yerself a box of Crayolas and git to it! Why? Well, I'm so glad you asked.

I'm not one of those who "knows" how to paint or draw or sculpt or sketch. I'm working on it, but I've never been a "natural". I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I never took the time to learn. 'Course most artists I know never really "learned" either. Which is what makes them artists. But that's not the point. I really do love to make stuff. I'm good with wood and words. But the other mediums have mostly been too daunting. Don't ask me why. Don't have a clue. But sometimes when you have the courage to just try something new, all kinds of strange and wonderful things show up. For example: a while back I bought this book called "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain". In this book, the author (who is an actual artist and professor of art) gives her insights on using the other side of your brain to draw creativity from. Being the logical kinda gal I am, I thought it'd be cool to give it a go. And guess what? I'm pretty darned good at it! Imagine that!

Anywayz...I began working my way through this fabuloso book and then a friend of mine, who is a wonderful writer and a writing coach, sent me this cool email with a bunch of her own drawings that she left uncolored. She suggested we print them out and get to filling them in. She suggested crayons, water paints, colored pencils, or whatever else we might have on hand. The moment I read the missive I thought, "HOLY CRAP! I HAVEN'T COLORED IN EONS!" So I dashed down to the local Target and got me a big box of crayons. Came home and got busy. Before I knew it, 2 hours had passed and I was in a state of meditative bliss. No kidding. I had spent 2 whole hours without a single bothersome thought. Not a stitch of pain in my body. Not a hint of angst to be found. I had effectively brought myself into a place of deep, happy calm. All with a box of crayons and a bunch of drawings. I was stunned!

I went back and re-read what Jill had written. And, not surprisingly, she was correct on all counts. She had suggested that coloring would unleash all kinds of creativity. And put you in a place of playful childhood. And make you happy. And a whole bunch of other stuff too. Like I said: correct on all counts.

So I thought I'd offer a little nudge for ya here. I thought it might be fun to see just how many of you might actually do it. And, of course, I'd be over-the-top-thrilled if you'd let me know. If you want, you can even send me your finished goodies. I'll post them here for all the world to see (if you want). But that's not the important part. The important part is to get you to playin' again. Play. Play. PLAY! You might just surprise yourself too.

Go on. Get those crayons out and COLOR!

Up and down, round and round...

2011-10-17T15:46:00.000-07:00

When all else fails, watch the puppy. Watch him as he races around the yard like a crazy person, dashing up and down the hills, stopping only long enough to throw himself on the grass to roll over and over and over again. Then, he gets up and takes off like somebody lit a firecracker under his butt. Up and down, round and round, a party all by himself.

If that doesn't cure ya, nothing will.

P.S. In the words of the Great Bruzer: LIGHTEN UP, MAMA!

Ain't that the truth?

Cam's Stand-in (can you believe it???)

2011-09-27T12:58:00.000-07:00

Hello, Humans. Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Bruzer, companion of the Human you know as Camille Olivia (or Cams or Olivia or that lady from JoyZAChoice). I am acting as her stand-in today as she seems to be immersed in some sort of silence ritual. I am not quite sure what to call it; suffice to say, she has been a bit unlike herself lately and I have heard her talking in her sleep (yes, she really does that) recently about her negligence on the Blog. So, I thought I might ease her mind just a bit and step in on her behalf. I am pleased to be here.

For those of you who are as yet unaware of who I am (I'm not sure how you could be since she writes about me all the time. But then...maybe you're new here. No matter....), I am the little curly guy (as she calls me) who came to live with her last year. Together we enjoy the glorious adventures on this planet you call Earth. I also happen to be quite fond of writing and, being the Human that she is, she has generously allowed me to use her computer whenever I wish. Below is a photo my Human took for her amusement. Now you know who I am. Pleased to meet you.

Now, before you go screaming into the night that it is impossible for a Dog to have his own Blog (or use a keyboard), let me assure you: it is QUITE possible. Dogs (and cats too) are quite adept at such tasks but usually are not heard from because their Humans don't get it. I am one of the "lucky" ones. My Human does get it and she also encourages me to share my talents with those who are as extraordinary as she is. To that end, I take time from my busy schedule to share an occasional missive. If you would care to visit my Blog, you can find it here: Bruzer'sWhisperz. I also have a page that offers free eCards. These cards are my Human's designs, but she has graciously allowed me to post them on my Blog. It seems that I have a much larger following than she (at least for now); something that both amuses and mystifies her. Such is the delight of living with this Human.

Moving on to the meat of this missive: I had an idea this morning that I thought would be a good way to honor both my Human and one of her closest friends. These two Human Females are quite the duo; both are incredibly gifted, albeit in different ways. They are also both huge Critter Lovers. Because of their extraordinary talents, I wanted to take a moment to honor them. I also thought it would be a terrific way to help those of you who frequent my Human's blog if you happen to be among those who shop early to beat the rush. My Human suddenly realized (just the other day) that the holiday season is just around the corner. This being so, she began her yearly process of making a list of those she intends to gift. As I watched her go through this process, it occurred to me that perhaps this could be my way of contributing to all the thoughtful Humans who enjoy this time of year as well.

So, without further ado, I will direct you to my Blog where you may read and then peruse the marvelous works that are currently available to any who wish to shop. The title of the piece is:

"Unusual Humans with Extraordinary Gifts"

I hope you enjoy my offerings. And rest assured, my Human will be along soon. She sends her regards, as do I.

Go well!

what would it be like?

2011-09-22T11:54:00.000-07:00

What would it be like if you lived your Life as a work of art?

Ever think about that?

Kinda puts a whole new twist on "masterpiece", huh?

Here's what I'm thinkin': I'm thinkin' that if we were to plant that little seed in our brains first thing in the morning, before we even stick one toe out of bed, the day would look a whole lot different. I'm thinkin' that were we to carry this idea around with us all the day through, each of those days would carry an entirely different hue. I'm thinkin' that if we practiced this idea for even just a few weeks (21 days?!), we might find that Life has taken on a whole new color. And...we might not be so keen to judge ourselves so harshly.

Do you suppose any of the great artists of our world would've become "great" had they stopped painting or sculpting or writing or dancing had they allowed their first works to daunt? Do you think that they painted or sculpted or danced that first piece and found it 'perfect'? Do you not suppose that they, too, had their moments of despair and disappointment at their utter lack of "talent" when they first began?

I'm thinkin' they all had those moments. And they kept doing what they did anyway. I'm thinkin' there were times when they wanted to throw themselves off a cliff (or cut off an ear) or step in front of a bus...at least a few times in their lives. And I'm also thinkin' that if it weren't for their indomitable passion, we'd not have any of the magnificent pieces we have today.

So what if we decided to look at Life that way too? What if we woke up every day and said, "Okay, you brilliant genius...today you will break out the easel and the paints and the brushes and paint the Life of your dreams. Today, no matter what else happens, you will stretch your imagination and get your hands dirty and laugh at the Meanies that try to dissuade you. You're going to create a masterpiece today. And tonight, when you lay your genius head on the pillow, you're going to be grateful for what you did....even if it looks like a piece of junk. Yes. Today will be a grand and glorious day to create a masterpiece."

What if?

A dandy little trick (yes you can!)

2011-09-15T17:43:00.000-07:00

There is no such thing as "ignore". It's really quite impossible to ignore something you just don't wanna think about. By virtue of the brain's wiring, it just won't work. The only way to actually "ignore" is to think about something else. IMMEDIATELY. Like this:

Let's say you have this monster pain-in-the-ass goin' on. Maybe you're in some kind of physical discomfort. Or you have a roommate or boyfriend or co-worker who just drives you up the wall. ('course, if it's your guy who's doing this, I'm wondering why you're still there. But that's a whole 'nother story....). Anyway...so there's this monster pain-in-the-ass goin' on and you're trying really, really, really hard to ignore the thing. But if you're saying to yourself, "I'm just gonna ignore this crap", you're still thinking about it, aren't ya? The ol' Catch 22. T'aint no fun at all, huh?

So what if...when this monster pain-in-the-ass shows up, you right quick switch gears. You do a literal about-face and think about something that makes you laugh or makes you happy to see or makes you giggle from the memory of it. It could be anything at all; it could be the way your dog does that happy dance when you walk through the door. Or the way your best friend always knows when to drop by with that super-delicious chocolate cake she makes just cuz she was thinking about you. Or maybe it was that time you went kayaking and saw all those whales with their brandy new babies. How 'bout that time you sat on the beach with your favorite person in the whole wide world and watched the sun blaze the sky as it settled for the day, after which you walked to the nearby sushi bar and ate yourself into bliss and drank a gallon of sake.

You get the point.

Doesn't matter what it is, just think about something, anything that floats your boat. You must have something that comes to mind, right? If you can train yourself to do that, instead of trying to "ignore" whatever it is that's got you all in a huff, you can (and will) eventually see that icky crap disappear outta your life. Entirely. Not kidding. If you think I'm nutso over here, you are mistaken. Just try it. Next time something pops up that you want to ignore, stop for ONE SECOND...and think of something supergroovycool. See what happens.

Go 'wan. Give it a try.

how do YOU do it?

2011-08-29T11:51:00.000-07:00

Are you a person who invites new experiences? Are you someone who enjoys the unknown adventure? Do you find yourself excited at the prospect of trying something you've never tried before? Does the idea of "new" foster exhilaration or dread?

I've often wondered why it is that most "grown-ups" are loathe to try new things. Not in the sense of a new car or a new couch or new clothes. Mostly folks get pretty excited about that kind of new. I'm talking about the "new" of experience. A new job. Or a new city. Or a new path. "New" as in "never-before-experienced". For the most part it appears these same folks view "new" with great apprehension....and large fear.

Why is that? When do we lose the eager anticipation that was so common when we were kids? How is it that we view "new" as "scary"? Doncha wonder about that?

As I prepare to embark on yet another new adventure, I find myself as eager as I was the first time my parents told us we were going on vacation. I was about 12 at the time; we'd never been on a real vacation before and the prospect of going to some new place, doing all manner of new and exciting stuff was almost more than my little head could handle. I was so excited I could hardly sleep. I was bouncing off the walls for weeks, likely driving my parents nuts. I was....AGOG! They told us there would be horseback riding and hay rides and hiking expeditions. They said there would be lots of other kids to join in the fun. They said that we would be there for a whole week...and when you're 12 years old, a whole week seems like a life time. I couldn't wait to get there.

I did not, in all my musings, ever feel one iota of dread or fear. I didn't think about poison ivy or bee stings or getting thrown off the back of a horse. I didn't even consider there might be kids I didn't like. None of those things even occurred to me as I waited for the day of departure to arrive. All I thought about was all the fun "new" stuff I was going to do.

I can still remember those feelings of anticipation. I can still recall the thrill of arriving at that resort and seeing all the other kids playing in the pool. I remember the smells and sights and sounds of that place as if I'd gone yesterday. And every time I think about it, I get excited all over again. Feelings that I carry with me any time I am faced with something "new" I am about to experience.

I think it's so much more fun to anticipate new experiences with this kind of attitude. It sure beats the hell out of dread. Beyond the fun factor, there is also another huge advantage to that kind of eagerness: it is the difference between enjoying the "new" and .... not so much. It is the difference between expecting the best and fearing the worst. It is....the driving force behind every end result.

What I mean is: you get what you expect. Every single time. If you're expecting something awful to happen, you're most likely going to have something awful happen. If, on the other hand, you're expecting the very best to come from this new experience, you will, more often than not, get exactly that. The very best. Even if the "new experience" happens to be something that is, by most others, considered to be terrifying. It just depends on your own personal perspective. If you're terrified, it's most likely going to be a terrifying experience. If you're anticipating some fabulous result, then you're quite likely to see that fabulous result in short order.

Know what I mean?

I'm offering this up today in joyful response to a brandy new adventure I am about to embark upon. I want very much to share the happy expectations so that you might tweak your own perspectives just a tiny bit. So that the next time you are met with some "new" thing, you can make up your mind....immediately...to enjoy the process with the eagerness of a 12 year old going on her first vacation.

Pack your bags! It's gonna be a BLAST!