Looking for meaningful Jewish language to add to your wedding invitations? There are plenty of options, and our Judaism Your Way team is here to support you! Here’s a list of ideas that you can use to customize your invitation. 

• A Jewish Quote
  The Jewish library is full of beautiful quotes to set the tone for your marriage. Here are some well-known choices you can include in Hebrew and/or English on your invitation:

• The Jewish/Hebrew Calendar Date
  Fun fact: Judaism has its own calendar, which traces back to the year the ancient sages believed the world was created! Including the Jewish day, month, and year on your wedding invitation is a great way to connect your wedding to Jewish time and the process of creating something new. To find the Jewish/Hebrew date for your wedding, we recommend using Hebcal’s date converter and confirming its results with a rabbi, cantor, or trusted Jewish educator. Since Jewish days start at sunset, the date conversion can sometimes be tricky! 

• Jewish Names
  If those who are getting married have Jewish names, you can include them alongside secular names. Here is more information about Jewish names. 

• Hebrew Invitation Language
  Hebrew invitation texts vary. You can use one of the texts below or consult someone to assist you with customizing further: 

Mazal tov (congratulations) on your upcoming marriage! Feel free to contact us if you have questions as you navigate this new chapter. 

The post Language for Your Jewish or Interfaith Wedding Invitation  appeared first on Judaism Your Way.

When it comes to choosing a Jewish name for yourself or your child, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Our Judaism Your Way team is here to support you in choosing a name that honors your unique perspectives and backgrounds and is filled with meaning.

What is a Jewish name? 

First, let’s cover the basics. A Jewish name is a special name that a Jewish person has for cultural and/or religious reasons. While some people refer to this kind of name as a Hebrew name, it can actually be in various languages, including Ladino, Yiddish, Judeo-Arabic and more! 

Some people choose a Jewish name because they want to feel connected to Jewish ancestors, relatives, or culture. Indeed, tracing all the way back to the story of creation in the Torah, names — and name changes — have been important parts of the Jewish narrative. People may also choose a Jewish name to use at Jewish occasions, such as baby namings, weddings, Be Mitzvahs, or being called up to the Torah. 

An individual’s Jewish name can consist of one name (ex: Aderet) or two (ex: Amado Mois). It can be followed by the names of one’s ancestors in various ways, which we’ll explore below. 

Sometimes, a person’s Jewish name is the same as their legal name. Alternatively, a person’s Jewish name can be an additional name that they acquire at a special naming ceremony as a baby or later on. 

Eight Ideas for How to Choose a Jewish Name

There are several approaches to choosing a name for yourself or your child. Our team is happy to help you find names through any of these approaches.

1. Honoring Relatives
One common practice is naming after a relative. For Sephardic Jews (Jews of Iberian or Middle-Eastern origin), it’s common to select a name connected to a relative who is alive. For Ashkenazi Jews (Jews of Central or Eastern European origin), it’s more common to name someone after a relative who is deceased. 

You can honor your relatives in various ways. For example, if you had a relative whose name was Ariella (Hebrew for “lion of God”), you could choose the name Ariella (same entire name), Adi (same first letter), Livia (similar meaning — Hebrew for “lioness”), or even Zemer (same gematria value — the Hebrew letters’ numerical values add up to 247, just like in Ariella).

2. Honoring Locations
You might choose to honor where relatives are from by choosing a name from a certain Jewish language. For example, if your family is from Spain, you might choose a Ladino name. If your family is from Iraq, you might choose an Arabic name. If your family is from Central or Eastern Europe, you might choose a Yiddish name. You can find a list of Jewish languages from various countries here.

3. Harmonizing with an English Name
Another approach is to choose a Jewish name that corresponds to one’s English name, finding harmony between the two languages. For example, someone named Amanda could choose the Jewish name Allegra (Ladino for “happiness”) because it starts and ends with the same letters — or, they could choose the Jewish name Yakira (Hebrew for “loved”) because it has the same meaning as Amanda.

4. Uplifting a Trait or Value
Perhaps you have a wish for yourself or your child, or there’s a trait you’ve observed in yourself or your child. For example, Eitan means “strong” or “enduring” and is a natural counterpart to the English name Ethan. Zelda means “happiness” in Yiddish and is a name easily recognized by English-speakers. You could seek out names that are loving, uplifting, resilient, related to blessings, or something else — whatever highlights your values.

5. Celebrating Holidays or Torah Portions Near Birth
Perhaps you can find inspiration in a holiday or Torah reading that happened near the time of birth. Some holiday-related names include Leor (Hebrew for “my light” — for Chanukah) and Nissan (the Jewish month in which Passover occurs — for Passover). Some Torah-related examples are Keturah (from the Torah portion Chayei Sarah) and Asher (from the Torah portion Vayetzei). 

6. Connecting to Nature
We have a lot of nature-lovers in our Judaism Your Way community. If you’re a nature-lover, check out Kveller’s articles with names themed around winter, spring, summer, and autumn! Some people choose names based on season of birth. Others choose names related to things they appreciate in nature, like flowers, water, or trees.

7. Recognizing Infertility Struggles
For families naming babies who arrive after infertility struggles, there are various options. You could choose a name related to rainbows in honor of a rainbow baby; name options include Keshet (Hebrew for “rainbow”) and Noach (the main biblical figure of the Torah portion containing the rainbow). Alternatively, you could choose a name related to renewal and spring or resilience. We’ve also had families choose a name in honor of themes that came up throughout their process of welcoming babies after infertility. For example, one family named their son Sheleg (Hebrew for “snow”) because their fertility journey took positive turns on days when it snowed; another family named their child Zachariah (from the Hebrew root that means “remember”) because they felt like ​​God remembered them after 12 years of not conceiving.

8. Playing with Gematria (Numerical Values of Hebrew Letters)
You might consider finding a name based on a significant number, such as time of birth. For example, if someone was born at 1:09, the name Ditzah (Hebrew for “joy”) would fit because its letters add up to 109. The book Your Name Is Your Blessing: Hebrew Names and Their Mystical Meanings contains hundreds of names and the biblical words, phrases, and blessings associated with their numerical values.

Creating a Full Jewish Name

A person’s full Jewish name incorporates choices around gendered language and names of ancestors. Ancestors can be parents, respected loved ones, or biblical figures. Ancestor names can be Jewish or secular. We’ve created templates so you can choose what fits best for you:

Gender-Neutral Hebrew Language
First Name(s) + mibeit (“from the house of”) + Ancestor Name(s) 
Ex: Noy Zahav mibeit Naomi v’Rut

Feminine Hebrew Language
First Name(s) + bat (“daughter of”) + Ancestor Name(s)
Ex: Avivah bat Avraham v’Sarah

Masculine Hebrew Language
First Name(s) + ben (“son of”) + Ancestor Name(s)
Ex: Shir Leor ben Sabrina v’Shmuel v’Gil

Nonbinary Hebrew Language
First Name(s) + bet (“nonbinary child of”) + Ancestor Name(s)
Ex: Tzuf bet Chayah

Making it Meaningful

Remember, this naming journey is an opportunity to create a thoughtful experience of connection and meaning-making. We encourage you to explore different customs, consult with loved ones, and ask us questions as you seek the name that most resonates with your unique story and values.

The post Choosing a Jewish Name  appeared first on Judaism Your Way.

To continue making this possible, we have launched the Open Tent Be Mitzvah Scholarship Fund which aims to provide financial assistance to students and families whose personal financial landscape may otherwise prevent them from being a part of these transformative Jewish learning experiences.

Recent Adult Re & Be Mitzvah graduate Deb Golanty shares why she and her husband donated to the scholarship fund:

My husband Jim and I were happy to be invited to support the Open Tent Be Mitzvah Scholarship Campaign. Our enthusiastic answer was: “Yes!”

On June 1, I – along with 5 other fellow students – celebrated our Adult Be Mitzvah together. As Rabbi Amanda Schwartz commented, it was her first ever Be Mitzvah ceremony for adults as well as the first group Be Mitzvah. It was an honor to be part of this transformative event. 

I remember how our opening session began last November with a fun icebreaker exercise to get acquainted. I expected to enjoy a stimulating, challenging, intellectual course of Be Mitzvah study with Rabbi Amanda and the five others. That happened, and so much more! I did not anticipate the emotional, spiritual, and soul bonding that grew among us after 7 months of honest learning and interaction that deepened our connection to Jewish practices in a uniquely personal way.  

The culmination on June 1 of our efforts exceeded, I am sure, everyone’s expectation. What a joyful experience! As our certificate reads, we Be Mitzvahs “shared their Torah in front of their community as they embraced their role as a Be Mitzvah. They have now earned their Jewish driver’s license to be a leader and teacher among the Jewish people.” 

Kudos to Rabbi Amanda and the Judaism Your Way team who created the course, recorded the prayers & song, and produced really interesting weekly source sheets. 

Our Judaism Your Way community will be strengthened significantly as more students – adult and traditional age – are enriched by this program. Please consider a donation to make that happen.

Deb Golanty

It is with the generosity of our community members that we are able to make Jewish learning fiscally accessible – thank you to Deb and Jim and the many people who support our mission at Judaism Your Way. Todah rabah!

The post Making Jewish Learning Fiscally Accessible – Open Tent Be Mitzvah Scholarship Fund appeared first on Judaism Your Way.

Today, we are thrilled to share with you some exciting news regarding the future leadership of our organization. After an extensive local and national search process, it is our pleasure to announce that Josh Gold has been selected as the next Executive Director of Judaism Your Way. 

Josh brings with him a wealth of experience and a proven track record of leadership within mission-driven organizations, particularly within the greater Denver area and the Jewish community. His dedication to fostering robust communities and his passion for the values we hold dear make him an ideal fit for this pivotal role. 

His commitment to our mission and his vision for the future align seamlessly with Judaism Your Way’s values. Josh’s extensive experience in fundraising, strategic planning, and stakeholder engagement will undoubtedly propel us forward as we continue to serve our community and advance our mission. Josh’s passion for building community, his dedication to fiscal responsibility, and his management style grounded in open communication and collaboration will make him an exceptional leader for our team.  

“I am deeply honored to join Judaism Your Way as the new Executive Director. As a Denver native and long-time Jewish professional, I have long been inspired by the organization’s commitment to inclusivity and accessibility. I am excited to collaborate with an amazing team of dedicated and innovative leaders who have built such a vibrant and welcoming Jewish community. I am eager to meet all of you and be a part of this incredible organization.”

Please join us in extending a warm welcome to Josh Gold as our new Executive Director. Josh will officially join the team on Monday, May 13^th. We are excited to embark on this next chapter together and to continue our journey of growth and impact under his leadership. 

Thank you for your continued support and commitment to Judaism Your Way. 

The post Welcoming Our New Executive Director! appeared first on Judaism Your Way.

Rabbi Amanda Shwartz

For Chanukah this year, I gave my mom a photo book commemorating our trip this summer to Israel. As I meticulously organized the photos in the album, I was transported back to our time there and to a very important lesson I was reminded of during that trip – how we all have far more in common than we have different and how wonderful the world could be if we were to remove the boundaries separating “us” from “them.”

It may seem surprising that I had this revelation in Israel of all places, especially in light of the horrible, ongoing war between Israel and Hamas. Even prior to this war, Israel was presented as being extremely divided between Jews and Muslims, Israelis and Palestinians. The main topic when we were in Israel was the division between Ultra-Orthodox Jews and, seemingly, everyone else. Perhaps it took learning new commonalities between these groups, specifically in a contentious place, that was so eye and heart opening for me.

Most of our trip was spent studying at Pardes “an open, inclusive, diverse and intellectually challenging Jewish learning community based in Jerusalem,” where I studied in 2008-2009 and which truly changed my life. The nearly 100 participants in our learning seminar came from all over the world and from all different backgrounds. Though it wouldn’t have occurred to me before returning to Pardes this summer, I realized that one important commonality between Pardes and Judaism Your Way is the commitment to creating a Jewish space where all feel welcome. While everyone at the seminar identified as Jewish, we represented a wide range of Jewish knowledge and practice. For example, one man who lives on the Marianna Islands, was drawn to the seminar looking to reconnect with Judaism. Whereas another man who grew up Orthodox, was excited to have the opportunity to study Torah in an egalitarian setting, something he had never done before. The backgrounds and practices of these two men could have served as barriers for connection but, instead, Pardes lifts up the desire to learn to bring people together.

Outside of our time at Pardes, I was also reminded of the commonalities between Judaism, Islam, and Christianity. It just so happened that our trip occurred over a multi-day Muslim holiday known as Eid al Adha, the “feast of the sacrifice.” The holiday commemorates Abraham’s willingness to sacrifice his son, Ishmael. This story may sound familiar, as Jews tell a similar story in the Torah about Abraham and his son, Isaac. During the first day of this festival we were in the Muslim Quarter of the Old City of Jerusalem, and we asked a man to tell us about the holiday. In limited English, he explained that it’s a holiday when “we eat meat.” Through other conversations (and some Googling) we learned that there are additional prayers said in the mosque, but the unifying way that both more secular and religious Muslims celebrate the holiday is by getting together with family, especially family who live farther away, for a symbolic meal consisting of lamb.

Listening to our new friends describe this holiday reminded me so much of Jewish holiday celebrations, in particular, Passover. Back when the Temple stood, Passover was celebrated by gathering with family and friends to consume a lamb, which was sacrificed at the Temple. While the Temple has not existed for thousands of years, we still gather on Passover and eat a communal meal. In fact, Passover is the most celebrated Jewish holiday. Being surrounded by people celebrating Eid al Adha, was a powerful reminder that regardless of what our religions are, or what stories we tell, generally speaking, we all derive profound meaning from coming together with friends and family over a meal.

We spent the last few days of our trip along the coast in the city of Akko. For those of you who are not familiar with Akko, it’s praised as one of the cities in Israel where Jews, Christians, and Muslims live without separation. Akko is one of the oldest port cities in the world and was shaped by those who conquered it including the Romans, Ottomans, Crusaders, Mamluks, Byzantines, and British. On a tour of the Crusader town, I learned that in the 13th century, Akko was home to a scriptorium, a place where Christian scribes would write, copy, and illuminate biblical manuscripts. Next to one of the remaining illuminated manuscripts was a description stating that the “scribes prayed before writing and were taught to feel that their writing was like standing before God.” Prior to this tour, I had no idea that there were Christian scribes and certainly not that there might be a spiritual dimension to being one of them. The little that I knew about scribes came from my knowledge of the soferim (scribes) who write Torah scrolls, who are expected to be pious, to say a blessing before writing, and to immerse in a ritual bath as well before beginning. This illuminated for me (pun intended!) that not only do our traditions share texts in common, but we share a reverence for how these texts are (or were) created.

Recently in my Re & Be Mitzvah class for adult learners, one of the students asked how Judaism imagines a “messianic era.” I explained that just like everything in Judaism, there are many ideas of what might happen in the messianic era but that there is agreement that when a messianic era occurs, we won’t miss it because the world will be so different. In light of remembering the important lesson I learned on my Israel trip about how much more unites us than divides us, my new image of the messianic era is a time when our commonalities are our focus and, when we don’t ignore our differences, but instead approach them with curiosity and reverence.

As we say in Hebrew – Ken Yehi Ratzon – may it be so.  

Wishing you all a wonderful 2024.  

The post Commonalities as the Focus appeared first on Judaism Your Way.

Here are some texts I have been receiving and sending from family, friends, and rabbinic colleagues since that terrible day on October 7^th.

Are you okay?

How’s your heart?

How are you holding up?

Is your family in Israel safe? 

Thinking of you and what’s happening in Israel and Gaza. Heartbreaking.

Here is what it’s like to live with intense Jewish anxiety and grief right now. 

My Israel Studies professor was on the phone with his daughter and son-in-law when they heard yelling and gunshots. He is now grieving their senseless deaths. My dear friends are worried about their young adult children deployed on the borders of Gaza and Lebanon. Colleagues have been yelling at one another online about whether acknowledging occupation and Palestinian suffering is a form of internalized anti-Semitism. Some have been lamenting how few Christian and Muslim colleagues have checked in with them in this terrible time. My congregants are reaching out at all hours of the day asking to set up appointments to process their anguish. People are wondering whether to take their mezuzot down and hide.

I am not sleeping. I have periodically fasted from social media and obsessively checking the New York Times so that I can give my brain, heart, and body a rest from the fear and grief. On Shabbat afternoons, I simply sob for a couple of hours on the couch. 

We worry about the potential for increased anti-Semitic violence and update security plans. We talk about how October 7^th is now the equivalent of 9/11 for Jews worldwide. We ask ourselves the question “Who is my ally?” and wonder if our friends and neighbors are willing to publicly take a stand against murder and abduction of ordinary Israeli Jews.

These anxiety patterns, inherited and reignited from ancestral Jewish traumas, are deeply etched into the collective Jewish unconscious. 

Our Jewish anxieties about safety and security are understandable, given the circumstances of history, the shock of mass murder, and the moral complexity of war. These habitual, patterned responses to fear and uncertainty also intensify our collective suffering. Our Jewish anxiety patterns cause us to ruminate about a past we cannot change and worry about a future that has not arrived. To alleviate the anxiety, we spring into action mode: urgently doing, doing, doing anything we can, to try to fix or control. This habitual response might temporarily alleviate some of the anxiety spikes. But it only reinforces our Jewish habits of responding to uncertainty with fear. 

Our deeply patterned anxiety, our urgency to do something to distract us from pain and fear is both understandable AND not inevitable. I want to believe and hope that there are better alternatives to our anxiety habits that cause us suffering. 

Here is what I have learned, through the neuroscience of habits and our own Jewish spiritual tool kit. Practicing mindfulness – compassionate, non-judgmental awareness of what’s happening in present moment, can help us see more clearly the range of choices available to us. Practicing compassion and awareness of what’s happening right now – with our breathing and in our tight, contracted, anxiety-laden bodies can pull us out of rumination and worry and return us into the present moment. We have so many Jewish wisdom tools to help us pause in the present moment before acting out of existential fear or the desire to seek revenge for our pain. 

Over twenty years ago, one of my teachers, Sylvia Boorstein, offered this sage wisdom: don’t just do something, sit there. 

I implore each of us to just sit here. Simply pause and be. Just pause and be with our breath, notice what’s happening in our minds and hearts, notice where we’re holding tension in our bodies and in our perspectives. What would happen if we really paused – an emotional shiva – to just fully be present to all the pain of our losses, fears, and grief? How might we recalibrate our perspective and perception if, when we notice a spike in our fear and anxiety, we simply pause in the present moment to reconnect with our breathing and asked ourselves: am I safe right here, right now? Nine times out of ten, the answer is yes, for the present moment, because the present moment is all we have. 

This is my prayer: that we scared and grieving Jews just pause before we spring into anxious, urgent action. May we take a moment to give ourselves the gift of pausing, to be and breathe into whatever we’re feeling in the moment, whether it’s tightness in our body or existential, fearful contraction in our minds. May we fully acknowledge the extent to which our collective past traumas haunt our present. May we give ourselves compassion for the wounds we carry, because right now, we are in deep, deep pain, grief, and fear.  

The post What It’s Like to Live with Jewish Anxiety Right Now appeared first on Judaism Your Way.

Anxiety is fear and uncertainty. What happens when we’re anxious? Our pre-frontal cortex shuts down, our amygdala activates into freeze, appease, flight, fight, response. Dr. Jud Brewer’s book and app, Unwinding Anxiety is a great resource for learning how our brains respond to fear and uncertainty in habitual ways.

When we feel anxious and agitated, it’s understandable to want to do something to make the anxiety go away. We donate funds, we organize and attend vigils, we check in with loved ones and friends, we make soup. We also anxiously check the news, wait for word on the status of loved ones and friends, and scroll through social media. Sometimes all this doing helps, and sometimes it doesn’t, it simply sustains the anxiety, and we can’t metabolize the stress in our bodies. This is why many of us run ourselves into the ground and then we collapse from exhaustion.

One of the most important things we can do to find alternative responses to how we typically react when in anxiety. A wonderful and calming way to respond to our anxiety is to just breathe. Just connect with our breath.

Another thing we can do is to just be with ourselves, instead of doing, doing, doing. Another response is to close our eyes, breathe in love for ourselves and one another. When we exhale, breathe out compassion for ourselves and one another.

And finally, we can sink into something amazing that is built into the Jewish calendar every week: we can rest into Shabbat. Shabbat is a pause in time to rest, to reconnect with our neshama (soul), our loved ones, and nature. Our bodies need rest. Our hearts and souls need rest, especially after this terrible week.

Please know that our rabbinic team is available to listen and support you in these difficult times. Be in touch with us at askus@judaismyourway.org if you need anything!

The post Broken, Grieving, and Tender Hearts appeared first on Judaism Your Way.

What is the Torah of Inclusion?

The Torah of Inclusion joins two terms: Torah + Inclusion. Torah means both the foundational sacred text of Jewish wisdom, as well as the process by which Jews and loved ones discern insights, meaning, goodness, and connection to what we hold sacred in our lives. Inclusion means expanding who belongs within the tent of Judaism, with particular attention to those who have felt hurt, invisible, and on the margins of Jewish life. Inclusion is shorthand for the way we aspire to treat and be with each other, the kind of community we want Judaism Your Way to be, and the kind of society of which we want Judaism Your Way to be a part. The Torah of Inclusion therefore is a Torah-inspired vision of a maximally inclusive Judaism. Today, the Torah of Inclusion is the ground upon which Judaism Your Way stands. Our vision is that one day, the Torah of Inclusion will be the ground upon which all of Judaism stands.

The Five Bold Ideas that Inform the Torah of Inclusion:

Meeting people where they are with love, respect, and generosity.

“One human being was originally created to teach that one who destroys one person’s life is considered to have destroyed a whole world, and one who preserves one person’s life is considered to have preserved a whole world… When a person mints coins from one mold they all appear identical, but the Holy Blessed One “minted” every person from the mold of the first human being, not one identical to another. Therefore, a person should say, the world was created for me.”

Mishnah Sanhedrin 4:5

Judaism Your Way has been described as a Jewish outreach organization, but this is not who we are. The term “outreach” suggests a fixed Jewish center that reaches out to marginalized Jews and brings them back towards the center. However, the very name Judaism Your Way turns this image on its head: engaging the individual, couple, or family where they are, rather than try to bring them to wherever we imagine Judaism is. The practice of meeting people where they are is a foundation of The Torah of Inclusion and illustrated by one of the most ancient and powerful sacred Jewish ritual items – the tallit (prayer shawl). What distinguishes a tallit from any ordinary shawl is the presence of tzitzit or specially tied and knotted strings on the four corners of the cloth. It is the tzitzit that one pays attention to. What gives the tallit Jewish sacred power is not what’s in the center but what’s at the fringes and on the margins, the tzitzit of the tallit. In other words, the center is not the center. The fringes are the center.

The difference between an approach to Jews and loved ones defined as outreach and the Torah of Inclusion approach of meeting people where they are is powerfully articulated by Dr. Crystal Jones: “There is a huge difference between ‘all are welcome’ and ‘this was created with you in mind.’”

Judaism has always held the potential for full inclusion. The Torah of Inclusion makes it real.

You stand this day, all of you, before the Eternal your God – your tribal heads, your elders and officials, all the men of Israel, your children, your wives, even the stranger within your camp…

Deuteronomy 29.9-10

Throughout Jewish history, the potential for full inclusion has been aspirational, rather than a lived reality. Judaism Your Way’s Torah of Inclusion brings this aspiration to life in real time.

Seeds of inclusion were planted from the very beginning of Judaism. Over the course of Jewish history, when given the opportunity, these seeds have germinated and bloomed with respect to both who gets to participate and who gets to lead in Judaism. The Torah of Inclusion models full inclusion in both ritual participation and spiritual authority.

Ritual Participation
In the late 20th century, liberal Jewish denominations expanded Jewish identity to include individuals whose only Jewish parent is their father. In addition, growing numbers of communities now offer ritual access to people of other or no faith identities. For example, parents of a Be Mitzvah (conventionally known as a Bar or Bat Mitzvah) who identify with other faith traditions are commonly given an Aliyah to the Torah (blessing over the reading of the Torah during services). Additionally, in communities with the practice of a group Aliyah, people of other backgrounds routinely come up to the Torah as part of the Jewish group offering and receiving the blessings.

Spiritual Authority
In Biblical times, spiritual authority was restricted to the males of the Levite tribe. After the Temple was destroyed by the Romans in the first century CE, sacred authority expanded to include every Jewish adult male. In the 20th century, Jewish rabbinic authority expanded further to Jewish women, and later to openly LGBTQ+ Jews. At Judaism Your Way, the rabbinic team currently includes three women and one man, straight and LGBTQ+ rabbis ordained in three different denominations.

The Torah of Inclusion builds community, from “me” to “we.”

Love your neighbor as yourself.

Leviticus 19:18

In its early years, Judaism Your Way offered disenfranchised Jews and loved ones experiences of full Jewish recognition and inclusion by meeting them where they were. Today, Judaism Your Way is a community and home for thousands of people. The Torah of Inclusion has become a philosophy and practice with the potential to transform how people care for one another in speech and action. The Torah of Inclusion can guide us to create a truly inclusive, kind, and just community.

The words “your way” in Judaism Your Way communicate a commitment to helping people discover their unique path into and within Judaism. Your way was originally offered as a corrective to people’s experience of not being recognized by Judaism. But your way contains a limitation – the message is centered only on the participant. Your way can be perceived by the participant as my way. Call it Judaism in the first person – a Judaism of “I” and “me.” My way alone is insufficient to creating and sustaining a community with a common bond among members.

The Torah of Inclusion offers a second understanding of your way. Your way expresses the need for each participant in the community to practice the Torah of Inclusion towards themselves and towards each other. As a community member, I am not only concerned with experiencing Judaism my way. I am also encouraged to understand and respect what Judaism might be as your way, even if it conflicts in some part with my way. A strong and caring community emerges when members become concerned with and protective of each other’s ways.

In this way, the Torah of Inclusion provides a spiritual glue strong enough to bond the diverse members of a community together. It offers a vision that community stakeholders can point to when describing what makes Judaism Your Way special. It offers a vision of Judaism that, hopefully one day, all Jews, loved ones and allies will practice and celebrate.

The Torah of Inclusion is a practice within and beyond the Judaism Your Way community.

A Divine Voice proclaimed: “Both these (the school of Shammai) and those (the school of Hillel) are the words of the living God. However, God’s will is in accordance with the opinion of the School of Hillel.”

Why? The reason is that they were agreeable and forbearing, showing restraint when affronted, and would teach both their own statements and the statements of the school of Shammai. Moreover, they prioritized the statements of the school of Shammai to their own, in deference to their adversaries.

Talmud Bavli, Eruvin 13b

Inclusion can be challenging, an opportunity for personal and collective growth. Inclusion is an ongoing ethical value and spiritual practice. People’s natural tendency to form groups that privilege agreement and comfort have resulted in the exclusive communities that have kept so many Jews and loved ones disengaged and unaffiliated. People who are used to things being a certain way may feel uncomfortable when pro-inclusion changes are introduced. People who are not used to being welcomed into Jewish spaces may feel uncomfortable walking through the door. The Torah of Inclusion calls upon each and all of us to develop our own skills and capacity for including others and including ourselves. The Torah of Inclusion is grounded in mitzvot* in the Torah that support the building of inclusive community. Central among them are:

• We preserve and lift human dignity, because we see the image of the Divine in every human face.
• We do not oppress the stranger because we too were strangers.
• We love our neighbor as we love ourselves.
• We protect and care for those who are vulnerable.

* mitzvot: plural of mitzvah; the term mitzvah can be variously translated as commandments, spiritual and ethical principles, acts of spiritual connection, ways to show we care about important relationships

While inclusion requires acknowledging multiple perspectives, it does not imply unanimity, agreement, or consensus. Inclusion does mean that everyone gets a seat at the table, that everyone has a voice, and that those voices are heard. Moving towards a community of greater inclusion will sometimes require centering voices and perspectives of those who historically have had no place at the Jewish table.

The Torah of Inclusion is a prophetic voice, speaking both to the Judaism Your Way community, and beyond to our wider society. The level of inclusion in the broader community influences the degree to which we can create maximally inclusive Judaism within our own community. The Torah of Inclusion supports policies that promote inclusion and dignity for all people.

The Torah of Inclusion evolves and changes.

I make this covenant, not with you alone, but with both those who are standing here with us this day and with those who are not with us here this day.

Deuteronomy 29: 13

Religions are most compelling and useful when they respond to the spiritual needs of their times. Post-Biblical Judaism emerged as a response to the oppression, dispersion, and social isolation of the Jewish people. Today, most Jews are deeply integrated with people of other cultures and faith traditions. Growing numbers of Jews and loved ones locate their Jewish identities among many other complex and fluid identities. For Judaism to be compelling, it must respond to these realities as deeply as older forms of Judaism responded to their social realities.

The remarkable growth of Judaism Your Way testifies to an evolving understanding of and capacity to practice the Torah of Inclusion. In 2004, the most pressing mandate of Judaism Your Way was to provide a maximally inclusive Judaism to interfaith and mixed-heritage couples and families. In short order, Judaism Your Way expanded to serve additional groups: LGBQ Jews and loved ones, those who identify as spiritual but not religious, secular, agnostic, atheist, “Jewish-plus”, and people without Hebrew literacy.

Although we’ve become increasingly aware of the diversity of Jewish populations, we’ve barely begun to consciously and effectively include people of color, non-binary Jews and loved ones, people with disabilities, and people returning to Judaism after generations (if not centuries) of oppression (for example, the descendants of conversos, a significant population in the American southwest).

There are Jewish identities and populations not mentioned here, who have yet to emerge from the margins, out of the shadows of invisibility. Inclusion is an evolving practice, requiring openness, generosity, compassion, and humility.

The Torah of Inclusion in Practice

Many Jewish communities and organizations present themselves as inclusive. However, few articulate specifically what inclusion means, by what metrics inclusion is measured, and how the organization is accomplishing the work. Placing the Torah of Inclusion in the center of personal and community practice communicates a commitment to pursuing inclusion, and to holding the Judaism Your Way community up to this standard. Different stakeholders in Judaism Your Way will experience and express this standard in different ways.

Community Leaders
Community leaders at Judaism Your Way include our Board of Directors, committee members, co-leaders of services, and organizational ambassadors. Recognizing that many community leaders do not commonly use the term “Torah” in describing their relationship to Judaism in general, the term “Torah of Inclusion” may initially feel too religious or otherwise awkward. We encourage community leaders to adopt the term “Torah” as the universally recognized Jewish term for a vision of a better world and the means to achieve that better world. Community leaders informed by The Torah of Inclusion will:

• Reflect and promote the diversity of the Judaism Your Way community as an expression of the Torah of Inclusion.
• Grow their own appreciations of the wide varieties of Judaism and Jewishness they get to steward, including their own.
• Recognize that inclusion might sometimes feel uncomfortable. Trust that this discomfort can potentially lead to insight, empathy, relationship, and transformation.
• Recognize that inclusion means centering the voices and perspectives of those who historically have had no place at the Jewish table.

Rabbis and Teachers
Recognizing that Jewish sacred literature features both inclusive and exclusive voices, Judaism Your Way’s rabbis and teachers:

• Support people on their Jewish journey to find transformative experiences and answers that speak to their needs.
• Privilege Judaism’s sacred sources that speak to inclusion and attempt to reframe those that don’t.*
• Explicitly communicate the wide variety of human experiences that comprise the Judaism Your Way community, in particular Jewish identities that have been historically marginalized or ignored.
• Embody an awareness of Jews as a global people, committing to the elimination of unaware cultural biases and assumptions about what Jewish is, and learning best practices with respect to the inclusion of Jews, and loved ones, of color.
• Commit to learning best practices for including non-binary Jews and loved ones, including developing facility with the emerging field of non-binary Hebrew.
• Use an expanding repertoire of metaphors for the sacred.
• Help people reframe the Jewish “no’s” they may have experienced into Jewish “yesses.”

* Love and empathy live at the heart of the Torah of Inclusion. Judaism Your Way’s rabbis and teachers will take this seriously, listening deeply to the stories and needs of people who seek Jewish connection. By listening to how people have been hurt and how they want to connect Jewishly, Judaism Your Way’s rabbis and teachers model empathy for one another, listening to the needs and yearning first, and meeting people where they are. The path forward is discerned and built together in partnership.

Staff
Recognizing that Judaism has historically been experienced as exclusive and non-welcoming by too many Jews and loved ones, all staff at Judaism Your Way will:

• Commit to understanding and communicating to the Jewish community through the lens of the Torah of Inclusion.
• Examine their own relationship to Judaism (and religion in general) and work to heal the effects of any exclusive messages they have experienced and internalized.
• Support people on their Jewish journey to find transformative experiences and answers that speak to their needs.

Judaism Your Way Participants
There are multiple opportunities for belonging in the organized Jewish community. Most participants in the Judaism Your Way community have not chosen those opportunities because the meaning of membership has not yet been compelling to them. The Torah of Inclusion is a vision of beloved community and a practice of moving towards that vision that they haven’t found and might not find anywhere else. Judaism Your Way community members are the people who have found a home in the Torah of Inclusion. This means that Judaism Your Way Participants will:

• Grow in their appreciations of the wide varieties of Judaism and Jewishness they witness and practice, including their own.
• Recognize that inclusion might sometimes feel uncomfortable. Trust that this discomfort can potentially lead to insight, empathy, relationship, and transformation.
• Understand that inclusion means prioritizing the voices and perspectives of those who historically have had no place at the Jewish table.
• Remain open to new artistic expressions of Judaism.
• Take on the Torah of Inclusion as a Jewish practice, not only a Jewish experience.

Conclusion

YHWH, YHWH compassion and tenderness Patience, forbearance, kindness, awareness Bearing love from age to age. Lifting guilt and mistakes and making us free.

Exodus 34:6-7

We’ve been here before. The destruction of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem by the Romans in the year 70, and the dispersion of Jews throughout the Middle East and the Mediterranean, meant that the Biblical model of Judaism could no longer speak to the vast majority of Jews. The emergence of Rabbinic Judaism out of Biblical Judaism can serve as a model for the emergence of The Torah of Inclusion out of the many forms of Judaism that exist today, forms that no longer speak compellingly to growing numbers of Jews and loved ones. The Torah of Inclusion is a growing edge of Judaism, offering sacred experiences and understandings that open people up to wonder, joy, gratitude, insight, and connection.

More than race or ethnicity or culture, the Torah of Inclusion is an invitation to the felt experience of belonging; you belong to Judaism and Judaism belongs to you.

In Parashat Nitzavim, Moses speaks a final time to the assembled Israelites on the eastern bank of the Jordan River. Because the text of his speech is so well known, it is easy to lose sight of how expansive and embracing is his invitation to belong: “You are all standing here,” he begins, and then describes a maximally inclusive vision of the Jewish people, including even all those who are not there yet (Deuteronomy 29:9-14). Perhaps Moses was issuing the Jewish people a challenge: The Torah you have received is a Torah of inclusion. Who is not here and wants to be? Who is not yet recognized? Who is still excluded? Who is still excluding? We must find a way to meet you where you are. Until we can and do, our vision of Judaism and Jewish community is not large enough.

Finding ways to that larger vision of Judaism and building that community together is the purpose of The Torah of Inclusion and the mission of Judaism Your Way.

Definitions

Outreach: Judaism Your Way’s mission has historically been described as outreach. Outreach is the work of reaching out to people in order to bring them back in to Judaism. The responsibility of the movement is on the part of the people being reached out to. The Torah of Inclusion is based upon the assumption that it is Judaism that needs to move to the people, and while there is always the invitation for people to grow and change, it is Judaism that must make the first move. Judaism is at its best when it is evolving and expanding to where populations who were previously not recognized within the Jewish embrace now experience Judaism as being fully theirs.

Torah: The term “Torah” has multiple intersecting meanings within the Torah of Inclusion:

1. Like all authentic expressions of Judaism, the Torah of Inclusion is grounded in Jewish Scripture.
2. Like all authentic expressions of Judaism, the Torah of Inclusion understands Torah to be the evolving spiritual and ethical insights of the Jewish people.
3. Torah is a spiritual and moral foundation for Jewish community. Its voice is mitzvah – a term that can be understood in several ways: good deed, commandment, an act of spiritual connection or care about an important relationship, and an act of responsibility.
4. The root of the Hebrew word Torah means “to aim.” This means that:
   • Inclusion is an original aspirational Jewish spiritual and moral value (mitzvah) toward which the Jewish people, at its best, has always aimed.
   • Inclusion is a dynamic unfolding process – a behavior in the present, a consciousness that changes over time, and a goal never quite achieved.

Inclusion: People’s natural tendency to form groups that privilege agreement and comfort have resulted in the exclusive communities that have kept so many Jews and loved ones unaffiliated and disengaged. Inclusion does not mean consensus, nor does inclusion require that everyone agree. Inclusion is hard work and at times can and should feel challenging and uncomfortable. Any position or policy that undermines the ability of Judaism to include all Jews, loved ones, allies, and seekers is not a full expression of the Torah of Inclusion.

Alternatives for the term “non-Jews”: This is a work in progress as our consciousness and language evolve over time. The problem with the term “non-Jew” is that it refers to a person in terms of who they are not, but not in terms of who they are. And the Torah of Inclusion is all about recognizing, meeting, and honoring people where they are and for who they are, not for who they are not.

However, the problem with referring to a person in terms of who they are, is that no one term exists for referring to groups of people who only have in common that they are not Jewish. Currently we use many words: loved ones, allies, seekers, spiritual explorers, and beloved friends of Jews. We also use the somewhat cumbersome, if accurate, phrase “people of other faith traditions and cultural backgrounds.”

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