The good, the bad, and the ugly truth about self-publishing

Firstediting.com

2010-05-03T09:16:00.000-07:00

Okay so the first company I contact was Firstediting.com to get info on the products they offer and just how much it would cost to edit grammar, punctuation & ect on a 90908 word file. I must say so far i was quite inpressed with how quick you can get a quote.

Most places give you a small refrence to their prices but what they really want is you to contact them so they can bombard you with phone calls & emails. With Firstediting.com I recieved an instant quote but that wasn't the best part. After submitting my work to them I had a sample of their editing in my email inbox the next morning. Yes that's right!~ They actually give you a sample before you even pay them a penny.

Now I don't have $999.99 (actual quote I recieved) to spend at this moment to have my book Vineyard House edited. So I went ahead and sent Firstediting.com a email asking if the have payment options. In less than a day I recieved an email clearly explainging their payment options. Below is the email I recieved (minus personal information). They are only a few of the editing companies that have a "payment option".

Yes just editing can get very expansive. Of the ten companies I contact Firstediting.com was not only the cheapest with the fastest response time, they also had a very detailed web page that was easy to navigate. Firstediting.com not only offers editing for novels but they do pretty much everyting under sun when it comes to words forming on paper. So my conclusion is I will definetly have Vineyard House edited by Firstediting.com and so far just on customer service they get 9 out of 10 stars. Now mind you that may all change once I submit Vineyard House for editing but I will keep you posted through the process!!

Email from Firstediting.com
Hello (Blogger)

Thanks for your email in regards to your editing project.
Many of our authors who have a large document like yours request the opportunity to make smaller payments for their editing/proofreading project.
Thus, they submit their work in smaller portions. This allows them to make smaller payments and achieve the editing they desire. This option allows a more affordable price and a time schedule which is more convenient for you.
Editing Payments...
If you would like to submit your work in portions, simply:
Divide your project into smaller documents with smaller word count totals.
(For example, a $900 edit can be submitted in 3 separate submissions of only $300 each...)
Fill out our secure order form at: https://secure.firstediting.com/order_form1.php?docTypeId=2&wordcount=90908&JOB_ID=19731&source_id=1&txtpagecount=
Change the word count to match the smaller document that you are submitting. (The new price will display at the bottom of your order form.)
Submit ONLY your smaller document for editing.
Your order will be assigned instantly to an editor for completion. Your may then submit the remaining portions of your editing project when it is convenient for you.

The beginning

2010-04-30T07:08:00.000-07:00

So here we go. The first post of my new direction. So we're going to start by explaining what I'll be writing about & a little run down of my book.

After a ton of research on a long list of self publishing companies you'll find online I decided to write about them. What they offer, their prices, what you get, where their books rank and much more. I'll be using my book Vineyard House as an example so you can get a clear idea of the differences between companies.

So here's a little tid bit about my book. Vineyard House is a 90,908 word count YA Fantasy Fiction novel that needs to professionally edited and published. For a YA novel it has a long word count. Most YA novels are between 50,000 & 100,000 words.

The publishing process is the longest process of many services. You have to design the layout of your interior (inside pages) and the outside of the book which can takes months of going back and forth with designers, ideas and art. You really have to think in deep detail of what you want people to see when they find it in the book section at Wal-Mart, down to the letters on the interior pages.

Now you don't have to go through a company to edit your manuscript. There are hundreds of resources out in the world that will help you edit grammar, punctuation and even flow of your writing. There are writer support groups in almost every city across america. You can even find message boards & chat room devoted to helping fellow writers edit and correct their writing.

There are also countless books at your local library on the subject if you wish to edit your own manuscript. Be very careful choosing a how-to manual. Make sure the copy is current and easy to follow. How-to manuals have very good information in them but try to remember they also have personal opinions as well.

You could always check your local craigslist.org as well. There are countless English majors trying to make money for college or their bills on craigslist. There are even a few professional. But before you hand off your life work or masterpiece be sure the person really knows what they are doing. I also recommend if you work it not already copyrighted to give them a chapter at a time instead of handing it all off to a complete stranger you met online. Never email your full work or hand it off on a jump drive.

So there are just a few options you have. Now if you decide none of those option are right for you and you would like to go with a company for all your publishing needs than be sure to check in here everyday as I disect the big online companies.

Editing services & self-publishing companies

2010-04-28T16:00:00.000-07:00

So after three weeks and countless clicks of my mouse I have finished researching six different editing & self publishing companies. This is just one option I have for finally publishing my first YA fiction novel Vineyard House. The funny thing is after all the time spent on the phone talking to these companies or reading their web site thouroughly I find myself more confused than before.

Each company offer single and packged services but non really explained what you were getting. They promise the more you buy the cheaper it will be. They promise control over your novel & the creative design yet they limit what you can do by the amount you are able or willing to pay. What exactly is comprehensive editing to them? Each company I ask gave me a different defintion. And do I really need a youtube video for my novel in order for it to sale? I'm sure you're telling yourself "why not have a youtube video?" Well I will tell you why. The amount of money they spend on the video is only pennies on the dollar you give them for making it.

Buying each option definetly increases the cost but some of the packages aren't that better either. None of the companies except for Firstediting.com offered any samples of their work. And Firstediting.com is the cheapest editing service I have found to date. They also responded the quickest. In less than three hours I had two emails waiting for me and the next morning a voicemail on my phone from them. But does the cheaper price & fast response make them the better company?

There are so many companies online for self publishing books who all claim to have the best & most successful patrons that it can be a daunting task researching all of them. The options can be quite confusing and expensive so I have decided to now dedicate my blog to researching these companies using my novel for answers. So get ready because starting tomorrow we are shifting from me doing dishes to me finding the truth out about the good, bad and the ugly truth about self-publishing.

One more thing...

2010-04-28T06:32:00.000-07:00

Just heard back form another editing company. Wowzya! They want over $2,500 to edit my manuscript. Who has that kind of money just laying around? I know it's an investment in my furture, my family's future and of course bragging rights but that is the same price as a beater car. By the way the add you see for The girl with the dragon tattoo by Stieg Larson is an awesome from front to back!! I definetly recommend it as a must read.

Publishing process

2010-04-28T06:27:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while since I wrote & for that I am sorry. I have been swamped with preparationjs for our big move to sacramento. I totally love the house we bought! It's only a two bedroom but it has 1440 square feet of bliss. And though I hate how much linolieum there is to mop the large 8 foot deep pool will more than make up for it this summer. I am such a water bug!

So I really started researching editing companies and costs so I can start the publishing process for The Vineyard House Chronicles. It's going to cost $999.99 to edit a 90,908 word manuscript! Holy cow I hope they have payment options. Everything I thought I knew about writing and punlishing a book was wrong. I believed it would be an easy effortless process. Step one write a book step two send it to a publisher. HA! Nothing in this world could be that easy. So now I am sitting back as I wait & wait & wait some more for the moment my hubby says GO!If only their were a publishing fairy god mother or even an editing fairy god father to help with the cost. Well no worries my fans, it will happen all in due time and I will see you all at my book signing!

Thinking...Thinking...Thinking....

2010-04-19T08:05:00.000-07:00

I have accomplished another chapter in The Demon Side this morning but I found myself only thinking about The Enclave (sequel to Vineyard House). My mind is moosh between the three books. I'm worried I'll never save up the money to self publish my book Vineyard House. Movin is going to cost my hubby & I more than I thought it would. Friends & family tell me I should have a fundraiser but I don't know what kind I shuld do or if anyone would even want to give me money.

Times like this I wish I had a job so the money thing would be easier for us. My hubby is a firm believer though that woman should stay in the home and raise their own children. I don't disagree with him but sometimes it would be nice to have even just a minimum wage job to help out.

2010-04-18T07:39:00.000-07:00

2010-04-17T07:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was just as awesome as I would hope it would be. Hubby & I got a motorcycle ride in. It was shorter than normal but that was my fault. When I was 18 I was in a pretty bad car accident. Since then I go through patches where I get severe panic attacks. Yesterday was just another day of panic for me. It didn't help that after our ride we decided to go look at house since we will be moving soon. Well we went during Sacramento rush hour traffic, so that really added to the panic filled day.

I bet you're wondering how in the world could it have been an awesome day if I spent it scared to death? First off I'm still alive & that is always a good start toa day. Second I got to spend some good quality time with the hubby and got babied a little. We also found a house that I think will work for us. So yesterday was all in all a great day. Hopefully today will be the same.

2010-04-16T06:41:00.000-07:00

WOOHOO I am so excited today! My hubby finally has a weekend off this week. He really hasn't had a day off since before christmas. What makes it even better is my mom has my son so its just us today. We plan on hoping on his motorcycle and going for a ride since the weather is supposed to be absolutely gorgeous today. Which also means no housework today! I love it when everything falls into place.

I know I complain about housework alot. But it can be a pain in the butt especially trying to squeeze in homeschooling my son. What really kills me is the lack of a dishwasher. For the past 7 years I have done dishes purely by hand so it takes me awhile to get through them. I spend more time doing dishes than I do dusting or any other chore.But the most dreaded chore is what I call "The bathroom of DOOM".

It just doesn't matter how often I clean my bathroom it's just always a wreck. My husband will come home to a spotless bathroom & some how figure out how to destroy in less than ten minutes. Then my son will go in just to make sure it gets really hammered. But that is why today is so special.I don't have to think about my day to day life. Today I am biker bitch extrodinaire, cruising the highway with the wind in my face, my arms around a total hottie and no six year old telling me what time I have to be home.

Prince of Darkness & Transformers

2010-04-15T07:04:00.000-07:00

So you know those little flyers that come in new toys that tell you about their other products? Well my son's sixth birthday was in March & he recieved a few transformers. Inside each transformer was a little brochure of other transformers products. Tell me my son plays with those more than the actual toys? Everywhere he goes he carries all three brochures with him. They have been so ratted, tatted & torn apart from him that if I put any more tape on them they'll be too heavy for my son to carry.

And if it couldn't get any worse than my son begging me to tape up one of his prized possessions every five minutes, my mother is coming to pick him up today for a sleep over at her house. What's so bad about that? My son has an unseen, unspoken voo doo that entrances my mother to spend, spend, spend. I don't know how he does it but he manages to come home everytime with at least three new toys, two new outfits and a couple pairs of shoes.

So why is this bad? Oh maybe because I know in the bowels of my soul that my son will come home with at least one new addition to his already growing brochure collection. Which means while he's getting spoiled by Grandma, I need to go stock up on tape.

A beautiful day

2010-04-14T06:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was an awesome day. I pre ordered my copy of Stephanie Meyers novella. I am really excited about it. Hopefully she'll change her mind soon and finish Midnight Sun. Man I was mad when I found out someone leaked it. I've read the few chapters she posted on her website and it seemed like it was going to be way better than Twilight. Oh well.

But that is not what made my day totally awesome, though it helped. What really made for a great day was that my husband and I were finally able to make peace with his brother & wife.

For almost a year now the two couples have been very tense around each other. What made it more difficult is that my husband & his brother work with each other on a daily basis. The tension was thick enough you could cut it with knife. But now all is well, not perfect but well none-the-less.

Yesterday was also a very productive day. Not only was I able to finish all of my housework, except the dreaded bathroom, I was able to do some editing to Vineyard House and managed to complete a chapter in The Demon Side. They both still have a long ways to go but I know if I keep at it that eventually it will all fall into place.

Unedited excerpt from Vineyard House: Introduction

2010-04-14T06:29:00.000-07:00

Introduction

My name is Adesina Gower but everyone calls me Desi. Well except my mom. She calls me Dee even though she knows I absolutely hate it when she does. I live in a hellhole wrapped in a cesspool called Marysville, California. My mother Tabea Gower & I live with my Grandparents John & Katarine Needles who are in their sixties and just as crazy as my mother. Well maybe not as crazy but pretty close. They’re just crazy from old age. Grandma has Alzheimer’s and grandpa just mumbles to himself a lot. Who could blame him though; the poor man is trapped with a psycho daughter, a loony wife and a hormonal teenaged girl.

We moved in with my grandparents when I was 12 years old after my mother was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and started talking to animals in public. She also had a habit of thinking someone was watching or following us. We’d be walking down to the store since we didn’t have a car and all of sudden my mom would freak out, dive behind a car or building pulling me with her. I have suffered a lot of scrapes and bruises in my life from her freak out’s.

I never met my father, Fagan. Supposedly back in the day he was quite the warrior. I always laugh when my mom calls him a warrior. Don’t get me wrong. I totally respect the military and I am grateful for what they do but I wouldn’t call them warriors. It’s not like they go running around wielding swords and fighting off mythological creatures. She never talks about why they split up. She avoids that topic at all costs. Mom says Fagan lives somewhere in Africa now. I imagine he’s probably trying to save the world one hungry orphan at a time instead of taking care of his own kid. Life has been just fine without him. Who knows maybe he’s been eaten by a lion or something. Maybe I should have my mother ask her animal friends.

My family doesn’t have much money. The only income is my mom’s disability check and my grandparent’s retirement. I don’t wear designer clothes unless someone happens to donate them at the Salvation Army thrift store. I’m all about worn out blue jeans and t-shirts from my favorite rocks bands. They’re amazingly easy to find at second hand stores for some reason. I just don’t know how someone could get rid of a perfectly good Disturbed shirt. My T-shirt collection is gold to me. I think if people could get past the fact that I don’t wear Guess Jeans or Dolche and Gabbana shirts they would see that I’m just as pretty as most girls.

I’m not a completely hideous dirty 16 year old girl. It never made sense to me why people called Melissa and me ugly. Really compared to the next girl I don’t think I was that bad looking. I was no perky anorexic blonde cheerleader like Mazy Bishop, the most popular girl in at Marysville High but I like to think I have some nice curves, pretty brown almond eyes & long brown hair that gives off a slight red hue when the sun shines on it just right which is complimented by my olive almost tan looking skin and just a few spattered freckles on my nose. So what if my boobs weren’t freakishly huge or I didn’t wear mini skirts with tube tops on a daily basis like Mazy. Anyways, getting back to me now, I don’t know where the nick name Dirty Desi came from. Maybe it just sounded good in their heads.

I shower everyday and my house is cleaner than most. My house isn’t in the best part of town. The people aren’t so bad though. The only reason why I say cleaner than most is because we have four people living in a two bedroom house sharing one bathroom. With my mother being crazy, my grandma having dementia and my grand pa just being too old to do anything, the house work is pretty much left up to me. It’s pretty cramped but I don’t really mind it so much. I share a bedroom with my mom. Most people would be scared to share a room with a paranoid schizophrenic. Not me though. My mom is only a danger to her self. The part of the place that has space is our backyard. Due to lack of watering it’s not a nice grassy backyard but more of a dust bowl. The roof leaked in the winter and the swamp cooler never seemed to work in the summer. Ah, home sweet home.

I never was a popular girl even before my mom’s mental break from reality but life got worse once Mazy Bishop was kind enough to tell everyone at school about my mom being crazy. Mazy had a knack for running into my mom during her “crazy episodes”. It was like she had a “loony radar” on or something. And could she keep her fake collagen injected lips shut? Nope. Every time Mazy would run to school and let everyone know the latest scoop on my mom. It would only take a matter of minutes for the new story to circulate through the whole town of Marysville. You know it’s bad when the crack heads won’t walk on the same side of the street as you.

Melissa Cavanaugh is a great friend, my best friend. Melissa is drop dead gorgeous, I think, with her waist length curly blacker then black hair and smoky eyes to match. Her milky white skin definitely makes all of her piercings stand out. I swear there isn’t a piece of her body that hasn’t been pierced. Her really dark eyeliner helps out too. She always wears these really baggy black pants that have chains hanging every where and plain black t-shirts. The only thing she wears that has any color is a red flannel shirt but she only wears it when it cold outside. I guess looking at her you would think she’s a Goth or something like that.

Melissa is skinnier then me but there is nothing a girl can do about having child bearing hips. That’s what my Grandma Katarine or should I say Grandma Katy as I refer to her, calls thick hips, child bearing hips. She says I get them from her mother who came to the United States from Germany and that in those days women were built for making babies and carrying laundry not for seeing who can look most like a twig. Grandma’s a little old’ fashioned. Melissa is only 5’5” but there is a lot of power in her small frame. She wears these awful bulky black combat boots with three inch heels to make her look taller. I make fun of her for it. She hates it when I call her an emo oompa loompa more.

Melissa has a dry sense of humor which I love. Sometimes you can’t tell if she’s really being serious or just being a smart mouth. But through the few years I’ve known her I’ve been able to pick up on things she says here and there that let me know when she’s serious. She has the bad habit of saying “fer real” at the end of sentences if she’s being serious.

If there is one thing she always made clear, she didn’t care about anyone or anything, even me. When she says or acts like she doesn’t care I just shrug it off. I know she does care and it’s all an act. Melissa is really good at acting and hiding her real emotions. I guess spending most of her life in section 8 housing while her mom was in prison and her dad was slowly killing himself smoking meth, raising yourself can do that to a person, make them act like nothing bothered them. Melissa’s mom was busted for drug possession during a sting when she was fifteen. The courts gave custody of her to her father who had spent most of his life in and out of rehab and half way houses. He moved them around a lot from one place to another but never left Marysville. In just the short time I’ve known her she’s moved eight times. She really didn’t like to talk about it though and I could understand why.

We always hang out at my house or met up there if we’re going out. It never bothered me that we had to do that. I know what it’s like being embarrassed about something you have no control over. Melissa and I met our freshman year of high school and have been thick as thieves since. We have one important thing in common that I think bonds us together, we each know what it’s like to have to take care of a parent who isn’t really there even though physically they are.

Many times Melissa’s acting skills and ability to cry on command got us out of a lot of trouble. One time Mazy Bishop little miss “Perfect” herself with her 5’9 rail thin build, long curly extension, and an attitude that would make a nun want to kill herself, decided to tell everyone at school Melissa’s mom was a prostitute and that’s why she was in prison. Mazy had her minions Timothy Reed and Kelley Ashcroft throw pennies at Melissa asking how much she would charge for various sexual favors. Melissa just looked at Mazy, smiled, turned around, walked into the principal’s office, forcing out every tear should could and told Mr. Russell about how Mazy had verbally accosted her.

Yeah I was pretty impressed with the big word usage myself. But Melissa was good at that stuff. Me, on the other have the vocabulary of a fifth grade book. When I do talk I tend to get side tracked a lot. Moving form one story to the next without finishing the previous one. It’s a talent that usually confuses people. I don’t really talk much so I have no need for vocabulary. Half the time when Melissa and I would hangout in my room we would have the radio on or our favorite Linkin Park cd up so loud talking would be pointless. My grandparents never complained which was great. I was surprised Melissa could talk the way she did though. One minute everything would be “F” this or “F” that and the next minute she would be having a heated educated argument with our History teacher about the crusades like she was a professor. Oh and that one thing I don’t do. I don’t cuss. It’s not that I’m trying to be a good girl or anything like that. I just never saw the point. Melissa always gives me crap about it. She thinks I need to let go and go on a cussing spree. I figure she cusses enough for the both of us.

Oh yeah. D’uh so like I was saying about Melissa’s great acting skills. The day Mazy had her minions throw pennies at Melissa was great. After she sobbed on Mr. Russell shoulder for a good twenty minutes, Mr. Russell called Mazy’s mother, Mrs. Bishop, who everyone knew was an alcoholic and did not like being pulled away from happy hour. Mazy’s parents are a weird couple. Mrs. Bishop drinks all day while Mr. Bishop devotes all of his time to their church. They may not spend much time with their daughter but they sure do spoil her as long as she doesn’t get in their way. During Christmas break they gave Mazy a brand new candy red Bentley Continental GT. Mazy didn’t like the color so she refused to drive it until her parents shelled out the money to have it painted. Heck I was happy if I got a cheesy snowman and santa claus sweater for christmas. But, anyways, that’s a different story.

When Mrs. Bishop arrived Mr. Russell called Melissa back into the office to tell Mrs. Bishop about what Mazy had done her. It was great! I got to watch the whole thing through the giant window in Mr. Russell’s office. Melissa laid it on thick. She had tears just rolling down her face and I swear I saw a snot bubble pop out of her nose. As Melissa came out of the office she winked at me and slyly gave me cocky thumbs up. Mrs. Bishop came out right behind her yelling at Mazy like a drill instructor in boot camp. Mazy was suspended for three days since our school had a zero tolerance policy for violence. In today’s world of bullies and school shootings, throwing a penny is considered assault. Isn’t it great!? Melissa getting Mazy suspended was way better then what I wanted to do to her.

I just wanted to slam her head into a locker and laugh manically while I repeatedly smashed her head with the locker door and watched as blonde extension flew in the air. But as usual Melissa used her wit instead of my brawn. Not that I’m some street fighter or anything. I’ve honestly only been in a few fights but nothing serious. Mostly hair pulling. I think I could have taken Mazy with no problem. All I had to do was punch her in her fish lips and watch the collagen explode from her face. But I tell you what, if they gave out an Oscar for Best Victim, Melissa would have won it hands down that day.

So there you have it, my life in a nutshell. That’s pretty much all there is to know about my insignificant life. Well my life before today. In a matter of hours I went from trying to survive being a social pariah in high school to just trying to survive. Had I known what was in store for me I would have stayed in bed instead of rushing to school.

Day two

2010-04-12T15:35:00.000-07:00

So I am on day two of my no smoking kick. Well I can't really call it day two since I got weak yesterday. It's so hard trying to quit when my husbands smokes more than I do.I know I know its just an excuse. But with all the things I have quit in my life why is this one so different? Quitting Meth & drinking were nothing compared to trying to quit smoking. UHG. Any advice?

Trying to quit smoking.

2010-04-11T14:48:00.000-07:00

Well today was another fun filled day. I am attempting to quit smoking. UHG it is much more difficult than I thought it would be. It seems almost everything around me triggers a craving. Driving makes mewant to smoke. Eating makes me want to smoke. Even watching television. The worse is when the stop smoking ads come on. Nothing makes me want to smoke more than someone else telling me why I should quit. And they play those ads so much that it seems every commercial break sends me drooling for a cigarette. Oh and don't bother popping in a dvd to escape from the stop smoking ads cause they are there too. On most dvd's they are played before the FBI statement warning you not to copy the dvd or steal it.

They say quitting smoking is harder than quitting heroin. Smokers sufer from mood altering withdrawls and symptons just as any drug addict would do. Our addiction cause us to beg, lie, cheat & steal just like any other drug. So I ask you this...why are there no rehabs for smokers? We're just suppose to give it a run on our own? I guess horrible tasting gums & itchy patches are supposed to be enough.

Anyone out there trying to quit too? What are you doing to escape from the urges?

2010-04-10T14:25:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone I know I am writing later than normal but today has been a wierd day. The hubby let me sleep in until 8am which was not but it threw me off my game. Today I'm feeling a little overwhelmed which is just left over from yesterday.

Yesterday was supposed to be an easy relaxing day at a yard sale while I worked on Vineyard House: The Enclave. That is the sequel to Vineyard House for those who don't know. But my day wasn't that at all. I spent most of the day helping my mother in law who wasn't feeling well. It normally would be a bug deal but she has heart issues and I worry about her. Well she had a ton of things to do yesterday for a service project our church is doing and I couldn;t just let her take off in her condidtion.

So the person with driving anxiety took the keys and drove her to the chiropractor and then to an undisclosed location to speak with directors of an oraganization my nameless church would like to help. You think just driving someone around would be easy and for most it is. Unfortunetly nothing is ever that simple with me.

I suffer from really bad panic attacks when I drive. Add being stressed out and worried about the strange breathing noises the person next to me is making & you have yourself a cocktail for disaster. Luckily we got everything done without a hitch and I managed to tytpe three whole sentences. Now wether or not they are coherent is a different story.

Another day

2010-04-09T05:56:00.000-07:00

So another day another dollar. I wonder sometimes why I bother getting up so early. Then it hits me. I have a ton of housework to do and very little time really. Yesterday I woke up at 4am, sent the hubby to work and found myself trying to get house work done in between home schooling my son. I feel like I am doing circles. Wash th dishes, swee the floor, mop the floor, dust, and lord forbid I forget to vaccum on a daily basis.

Soon after that my house was filled with six 4 foot little devils. No, not oompa loompa's with rhyme's to solve life's problem but in fact six children enjoying the run of the house and the sun of spring. As much as I hate the noise that children make sometimes I have to admit I enjoyed it. Watching my son as he interacted with his best friend and two cousins was better than any double fudge chocolate cake.

I did manage to get some work done on my third novel The Demon Side after everyone left. So far 8 chapter are cruising and I look forward to the completion. I only got to work on it for a few moments though. The hubby was on his way home and it was getting late. I thought about maybe just throwing some pot pies in the oven and calling it good but it was just too hot yesterday. When are they going to invent Warner Bros. kitchen of tomorrow today? How my schedule would free up if only a three course meal would magicly appear after only pressing only a few buttons. And where to I get the machine that grabs my child out of bed, puts him in the bath, scrubs him until he is red, throws him in his clothes and brushes his teeth? Huh Warner Bros.? Where do i buy that!? Not at Lowes I can tell you that.

So short story longer, Today will be pretty much the same. My son and I are going over to my sister in laws house to help with a yard sale and let the little devils run a muck. And with any hope, any luck at all I will be able to find a few moments for myself and be able to complete a few short sentences in any of the three books I am writing.

Introduction: Nice to meet you

2010-04-08T06:23:00.000-07:00

Well Hello everyone! How is life treating you? Well, I hope. Who am I? I am the "Incredible Juggling Mommy"! HA-HA. Okay Okay so I don't know how to juggle literally. On a serious note though my name is Heaven. Yes that is my real name and no I am not a stripper. HE-HE.

Why do I call myself "The Incredible Juggling Mommy"? Well that would be because everyday I juggle a million and one things to ensure my family and home are in tip-top shape, all while trying to squeeze in time for me and my writing.

So, I'm not really a professional writer. I haven't published any of my work but I am working on it. I have completed a YA Fiction Novel called Vineyard House which I entered into the ABNA's. What are the ABNA's you ask? Ah, well my dear, every year Amazon.com and Penguin Books get together and hold a 6 month long contest searching the world for the next great writer.

That writer wasn't me. I got booted in the second due to lack of editing. I already knew it would happen, I just hoped they would look past it and see my potential. I am sure you can see from this writing I am by no means an English expert. Where to place a comma versus a semi-colon confuses me and just basic editing services can cost upwards to thousands of dollars.

I will get there some day damn it! In the mean time I'll continue writing the two novels I am working on in between cooking, cleaning and making sure my house doesn't fall apart around me. AHH, the joys of being a housewife with a dream.

This is my life. As you keep reading my blogs you'll learn more about it.