Times of rest, reading, long walks taken away from my actual place of employment have helped me over the years to problem solve. It is uncanny how I almost always have to get away from work to get my head around tough issues and get clarity. Recently, I found inspiration for my work through a surprising source.

I found inspiration for what we do for families at Family Life Services through book about farming. Yes, farming.

You see I have this 4-H friend from back in the day that just happens to be a agricultural super hero. I’m not exaggerating. Forrest Pritchard, of Smith Meadows in Virginia is one amazing guy. Over the last 17 years while most of my friends were getting business degrees and moving to suburbia land, he was busy saving his family’s farm and becoming a national advocate for sustainable farming.

A year ago, when our family quit Mickey D’s and actually started eating real food, I was introduced to a foreign world. The farmer’s market. I even wrote a post on being a Farmer’s Market Virgin. My husband and I reconnected through Facebook with Forrest and his witty blog. Forrest was able to chime in and give us some sound advice for shopping local. A year later, he has written a book.

I was delighted to get an advanced reading copy of Gaining Ground, A Story of Farmer’s Markets, Local Food and Saving the Family Farm. I expected stories about cows, tractors and musings on the the growing popularity of local farmer’s markets. What I didn’t count on was getting inspired in a new way for Family Life Services, the non-profit ministry where I serve.

Forrest is an amazing storyteller. For those of you familiar with the Clifton Strength Finder, I can put money on Communication being in his top 5. In his book Gaining Ground, he writes with great passion about the two steps forward, three steps back processes that he experienced walking out his dream of being a modern day farmer. I’ve been there, felt that pain. Not the farmer part, but the feeling at times like I was moving forward only to have major set backs delay any foreseeable progress. Frustrating, but rewarding when you stay the course.

Pitchard also knows the importance of staying the course. Hard work, dedication, great support from friends and family—all sprinkled together with some pretty hilarious stories. I was drawn in by his determination. The entrepreneurial spirit is alive and well on the farm friends, in a good way. Americans are wising up and want to know where their food is coming from. This is a beautiful thing. Forrest’s book about organic farming allows you to take an intimate look at farm life and his stories are filled with grit, guts and goofiness.

Reading Gaining Ground, I found myself over and over again relating his experiences to what I have discovered working in the non-profit sector for almost the same amount of time he has been farming. Especially serving in a local organization that is over 70 years old. We are always looking for new innovative ways to meet the needs of people in our community. We know for future sustainability the non-profit sector must change in order to maneuver shifting cultural needs.

Solid donor relations, creative programming and community involvement are all critical for our clients to get the valuable services we provide. Mission is difficult to change, and rightly so, but methods and mediums must. I was blown away with motivation and ideas from reading this book. Did I mention that this book is about farming? Who knew?

So in an effort to spread the love I am giving away two copies so that others can read this treasure.  The give away is simple.

In the comments below give me your favorite real food. Whatever it is—but it has to be REAL. Not processed, not packaged, not something that takes you less than 5 minutes to prepare. Unless it is fresh fruit or veggies, because everyone knows this is the original fast food.

On Saturday I will take all of the comments and draw 2 for a copy of Gaining Ground.

Simple? Good. Now Go.

If you would like to read the first chapter of Gaining Ground, you can get it here. Enjoy!

UPDATE 5/19/13

Congratulations to Lindy & Ivette for winning the two copies of the book!

I have missed blogging, sort of.

You see I’ve been taking some time for myself.

It has been a difficult couple of months for me personally. Last fall I stumbled into a dark week that lasted a few months. It was major drama.

And I’m not talking bump in the road drama. I’m talking As the World Turns Level 5 This is Insane drama.

So I went dark. I had to. I was in self-preservation mode for a while. I had to prioritize my relationship with God, myself, family and work. That was it. Nothing else made the cut. And so this blog went lifeless and limp.

I spent time wrestling with the Lord, loving my family, and working.

We all need times when we pull away from the extemporaneous and just focus. Time to rehearse all the things God writes as truth in our hearts as children to help us find sold ground as adults. I’ve started calling it going dark to get to the light.

It is OK. Turns out things like blogs, Twitter, speaking engagements and extras will be there when you get back to the light.

So what did I learn about myself during my time going dark?

I like to write. I like to write for myself. I’ve spent hours and hours creating, drafting, scrawling and free styling.

I learned that honest writing is at my core a major part of who I am. It is a gift that I was neglecting for a long time.

Going dark to get to the light, I realized that this type of writing looks different than blogging. During this particular season, I am fighting to bring my writing to a place where I tell the truth. Where it is inspiring and honest. You can’t always deliver that through a blog—at least I found I couldn’t and wasn’t. So I stopped.

Quitting my blog for a while helped bring me back to the light, along with getting by with a little help from my friends. Sorry. I couldn’t resist an old school song lyric. Especially since I’ve been writing old school now for months.

Blue pen to spiral notebook paper. Hundreds of pages of notebook paper. Hundreds.

God used this method to help me find myself. I learned that you don’t always have to push publish to be heard. You don’t always have to be public to create art.

Honestly? I’m still getting my voice just right, so I am slowly easing back to the blog. Back to where I can stand in the light again.

Thanks for allowing me the space.

How about you? When have you ever had to pull away from something to get clarity? Or have you ever had to go into your own darkness to get to the light?

I’d love to hear about your experience.

Emerald hills, homemade gravy and coon eyes

She calls.

Daffodils, sweet tea and fried potatoes

She calls.

Crickets, frogs and rotten wood piles

She calls.

Rusted cars, saw mills and dogwoods blooming

She calls.

Long gravel roads, winding hunter trails and wild turkeys

She calls.

Sunday church bells, white steeples and fried chicken

She calls.

Dirty miners, rippling creek and coal dust covered lunch pails

She calls.

Calico cats, hound dogs barking and wild rhododendron

She calls.

Country courthouse bright, rickety bridges and dew on the lawn

She calls.

High school track, Spring festival and homemade bread

She calls.

Mud caked tires, white porch swing and family visits

She calls.

Haunting eyes, hope-filled hearts and quiet days

She calls. 

It is a strange saying. One I use often. A saying I can identify with.

It reminds me of when I was in junior high and my friends called me Bird.

Kids called me Bird because I had long knobby ostrich legs that didn’t quite fit the rest of my body.

The nickname stuck.

Thanks to Facebook sometimes the Bird reference resurfaces.

Like I said, I don’t mind because it reminds me where I am right now with work, and my work is personal. So there is a connection. Hang with me here…

I’ve got several projects in the cooker that I find myself saying to myself and others~ This has legs.

Projects and ideas that  God willing, have the potential to get up off the couch and walk down the road. All on their own. Ideas that could inspire others.

Honestly? These ideas scare me a bit. But those are the best ideas to feed aren’t they? They ones that intimidate you, stretch you? The ones that you know once they start moving forward will change you, change others, and give hope. The ones that require sacrifice and determination.

These ideas could take off. Maybe not all of them. But some of them. They could not only stay in my head where they have been living for a very long time. They could crawl out and grow a life of their own.

Saying this has legs is not only a wish, but a prayer to dare.

I’ve not been blogging recently because the legs of these other things right now are getting stretched. And they need to have my undivided attention. Be patient with me. I hope to bring some of you into the race with me if the legs get strong enough for a run.

Until then. You can call me Bird if you like.

What are you working on right now that has legs?

When I ripped open the package this was what was in it…

In honor of my One Word for 2013, she told me she saw it and had to get it for me.

Because we are new friends, she has no idea how much this means to me right now…

at this crazy point in my life.

New friends are awesome.

God opens doors at various times of our lives to encounter people who see you for who you truly are. They understand immediately what God has created you to be, based on their own journey.  It is an exciting experience and one that is full of grace. You feel like you have known them forever.

Kindred souls.

I want to encourage you to be determined to make a new friend in 2013.

Be a blessing and speak truth to someone who needs your friendship.

It could make all of the difference.

]]> http://julieabel.com/2013/01/be-determined-to-make-a-new-friend-in-2013/feed/ 1 http://julieabel.com/2013/01/the-sibling-grief-club/ http://julieabel.com/2013/01/the-sibling-grief-club/#comments Sun, 06 Jan 2013 21:48:25 +0000 julieabel http://julieabel.com/?p=1598 I am a member of a club that I really hate participating in, but without it I would not be the person I am today.

Every now and then required meetings call for me to revisit my membership and when it happens I am reminded just how much I really don’t like being apart of this order.

It is the sibling grief club.

Required meetings tend to happen at the most awkward times and honestly, they can be brutal.

Like when I talking with someone who keeps going on and on about how much their brother or sister makes them crazy.

Or when I get a whiff of a man who wears Brut deodorant…

Or when I get a message that someone who I care about has recently lost a brother or sister…

Or when I wake up from dream about my dead brother that is so real that I could have sworn I had an actual conversation with him.

Or like today on my morning walk it hits me. A certain classic rock song came on my ipod and I remembered today would have been his birthday.

Immediately I walk right into this club I have designed in my mind and hold up my 11 year chip.

The Sibling Grief Club

I have often joked with friends that I could write a book on how to deal with sibling grief.

It is different than grieving the death of a parent. I know firsthand. I’ve lost all three members of my immediate family.

You expect parents to die. That is the natural order of things. But when a sibling dies it messes with you. Makes you feel like something in the universe is off.

When a sibling dies it like you get a big cosmic mirror shoved in front of your face and you realize for the first time that you can actually die too.

Guilt When A Sibling Dies

You also deal with guilt. Crazy guilt. Guilt that is totally unreasonable, emotional and unsettling. Guilt that riddles your brain and heart with questions like…

Why her?

Why not me?

What could I have done or said differently to make our relationship better?

Does mom and dad ever wish I would have died instead?

Why am I so blessed with health and family and they are now gone?

Every birthday you have also becomes a reminder of one that they will not. This year, my upcoming birthday is significant concerning my sibiling grief because I will turn the same age as my brother was the year he died.

This is weird…

And heavy…

And beautiful all all at the same time.

Membership Has It’s Privileges

One of the benefits of being in the sibling grief club is I do not take my life for granted. I am very intentional with my children when it comes to their relationship with each other. As much as I can, I try to foster their friendship, and use teachable moments to show them how much the other should mean to them.

I also have a focused lense that I tend view life through.

I am fully aware that no one is promised tomorrow— that you must live life to the fullest, because even young healthy people die.

Blessed Are Those Who Mourn

Some meetings at the sibling grief club are also longer than others. Today’s meeting for me didn’t last too long, but it was good for me to reluctantly walk in and catch up.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. ~Jesus Matthew 5:4 NLT

Due to my membership I also know I have instant credibility with others when the time comes for them to fill out their application into this fellowship. I hate it, but welcome it as well. It allows me to speak nothing at all, or when the time is right share words of comfort with them. It provides me with understanding and compassion.

And for that reason, I pray that God continues to give me the grace to be in this club.

I don’t say that lightly either. So many of you shared the ups and downs with our family as we gave up our horrid eating habits.

I felt so much love and encouragement when I achieved a 15-year goal of hiking Pikes Peak.

I received prayers from strangers after they read my funny and tough moments through Fridays with Freda.

And you let me go on and on about my family…

…and my work. Both at Family Life Services and Rocky Mountain Media Group.

2012 also brought scary life changing perspective from the Waldo Canyon Fire.

Perspective that this world really isn’t our home. Perspective that the Lord, family and community are really the only comforts we have to get through the hard times.

Another life changer for me in 2012?  I came across some hard truth.

Truth about who I am. Stripped down. Palms heavenward.

Truth about the person who God is working in my heart to create.

And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!”~Revelation 21:5

While I don’t know what 2013 holds, or if it will be as life changing for me as 2012, I know this one thing.

I am determined in 2013.

de·ter·mined

I am determined to make a difference.

I am determined to live well.

I am determined to love much.

I am determined to create.

I am determined to inspire others.

I am determined to be kind.

I am determined to be faithful.

How about you? What did the Lord teach you in 2012? What will you be determined to do in 2013?

Join the One Word 365 Community in 2013.

I was planning our family’s nutritional goals for 2013.

Our favorite breakfast. Chicken sausage with onions and peppers.

As self proclaimed Food Steward of the Abel family, this is my primary responsibility.

A responsibility that I didn’t take seriously until last year.

A responsibility that until my husband decided to get crazy about loosing weight and adopting a healthier lifestyle that I shirked.

“Before” unhealthy food we would regularly consume.

A responsibility that in the past, I made excuses to refuse to change because honestly, for our family…

It would be too expensive.

It would take too much time.

I worked. Full time.

My kids would never eat that stuff.

My husband would never eat that stuff.

I would never eat that stuff.

I didn’t know how to shop for real food.

I didn’t know how to cook something that wasn’t semi-packaged.

My kids would feel left out if they didn’t have the same foods that their friends ate.

We would never go to a restaurant again.

I really liked McDonalds.

And on and on and on….

Do the excuses sound familiar?

Looking back on our  year of eating a primarily paleo, I am thankful. I am thankful that last year, I took the time to learn about whole foods, nutrition, and why this is such a big deal.

“After” food. Real, whole food.

I am thankful that my husband took the first step, and made himself accountable. I am thankful that as 2013 rolls around, we can start fresh again, reset and renew by diving into another family infused Whole 30.

It will be hard work. It will take discipline and planning.

The brunt of the food prep and planning will fall on me. But that is OK. I have some great back up.

I take my role as Food Steward seriously now. And that has made all of the difference.

“Before” Paleo

“After” Paleo

Would you dare to join us  for our next Whole 30 in January? If not what excuse is stopping you?

Just or fun, if you are interested in reading more about our family’s journey into a healthier lifestyle last year check out Jeff’s Crazy Idea.  There we bore our souls (and kitchen pantry) with the world. We also shared our struggles and victories. There are also some helpful tips I shared from a mom’s perspective similar to this post. Let me know if you are considering making a life change for your family. I would love to encourage you along the way. After all we are in this together.

The week I clean the house, fix hot meals, slow down to actually think.

The week that I journal, and dream up new book ideas that I will not write and watch movies with my kids. I also tend to work out like a mad woman because I ate too much on Christmas.

This week, when the world seems to take a deep breath, I set new goals and dream all of the beautiful places I want to see in the next year.

I also like to do things like go to the movies, write new blog posts and take the time to clean out my closet.

If I am lucky…I can finally talk my husband into watching Downton Abbey with me, drink 7 Up and white grape juice, read a book and actually get all of my laundry done. Twice.

I know it isn’t sexy but, that is what I do during the week between. And it gives me rest for my soul.

What about you? What are you doing this week?

Our communities are going through hell.

Being a parent, spouse, employee and citizen has taken on a new demand for our level of engagement.

Watching the news this weekend, I just kept thinking what am I going to do about it?

What are you going to do about it today?

Are you going to fix that meal where your family talks around the table?

Turn off the TV?

Look that single mom in the eye that needs your help cause she is at the end of her rope?

Cut that employee some slack because his family is falling apart and offer him some grace?

Not engage in the political debate and instead shower love and appreciation on your local police and  fire department?

Start to break a dysfunctional cycle in your own life?

Maybe you are going to have a real conversation with your kids about how much you care and love them.

Ask them more questions about the kids they are hanging out with.

Provide them opportunities to learn what being a true leader looks like.

Whatever it is, as we grieve, let us not forget to ask ourselves:

What can we do about it today?

What does that answer looks like for me ?

One thing it looks like is going to work.

Because when I go to work at Family Life Services today, I get to be apart of a place that changes hurting families. Forever.

That is what I am going to do about it today.

What about you?