Julie's Chatterbox

Don't Write Bad Cover Letters!!

2012-02-22T10:57:00.000-08:00

I am a worker (the poetry editor) at Umbrella Factory Magazine. A small online lit journal, UFM has been receiving more and more poetry submissions.

This influx in submissions is great for the magazine...even though it means more work for me. I'm not complaining about the poetry or the labor, however, as I am here to bitch about the cover letters.

While I do my darnedest not to read the cover letter until after I read the poetry, there are certain things that a writer can do in their cover letter that makes me want to slide their submission right to the cylindrical file. These letters sometimes insult me, marginalize the craft, or do something else that is just ooky. The following are three things that make your cover letter (and the attached submission) into a flaming pile of ewwww!

Don't say you just wrote the poem or poems and churned it out in a matter of minutes.

Seriously! This insinuates that poetry is easy and all of us that slave away at it, revising away over and over are idiots. It also illustrates that you are an amateur who is ignorant of the art, as you haven't even bothered to read a book on writing.

A major part of writing is REVISION and EDITING. If you tell me your work is unedited, no only will I think you are being overly glib, I will know that your poem is not a polished, well crafted piece and just something that you tossed down and wanted to show off to show how clever you are.

Write an actual cover letter.

Between every issue, I get a few submissions that don't have a cover letter. Instead, they come with a few random words left behind. If you do this, please stop.

A recent cover letter read, "Poetry!" Yes, that was all. Another offering from a few months ago told me something silly and surreal; I don't recall the text, but I believe the poem was feather and the writer was rainbow -- nothing helpful there.

If you are asked for a cover letter, please write one. Remember what you are submitting; if you are submitting poems, don't tell me you are giving me a packet of kitten tears.

Keep it brief.

I know you are proud of your education and accomplishments, but I really don't need to hear about all of them. If you letter is longer than one of your pieces, I probably won't read it. I just want to know who you are, why you are submitting to us, and the titles of your pieces.

Also, if your work is accepted, we will ask for a brief biography anyway. Consider your concise cover letter to be practice for your acceptance.

Healthier, Greener Alternatives to Common Household Products

2012-02-20T09:12:00.000-08:00

"We put our bodies in contact with a lot of chemicals and toxins each and every day, both known and suspected human carcinogens. From the pesticide residues on and in our food, to the chemicals incorporated into popular household cleaning products. Many things that modern families rely on in daily life can cause problems like birth defects, central nervous system damage, infertility and cancer."

Yikes! I wish I could say that was alarmist, but it's true! I should know, I did the research. That quote is the intro from my article "Organic and Green Alternatives to Common Household Products" on Greenitall.com.

Chemicals, plastics and packaging all can impact our health and can damage the environment. A real threat, I have been slowly trying to phase existing chemical cleaners out of the house. It is a slow process, however; we rely on so much toxic junk it truly is everywhere in your home.

If you want to know more about what the dangers are and what you can do about it, you should read the rest of my article at Green It All. Also, if you have more tips for getting rid of these dangerous items, please let me know in the comments here or there.

How To Become a Freelance Writier

2012-02-17T21:01:00.000-08:00

From The Pencil Sharpener...

If you are reading this blog, you surely already dig writing, but wouldn't you love to get paid for it? Wouldn't it be swell if you could turn your craft into a full time job?

While some writers can make a good income off of their creative works, most published and even somewhat successful creative writers aren't paying their bills with the income from their poetry or prose.

Freelance writing may be the ticket to becoming a full time paid writer. You may not always be writing about what you feel passionate about, but you will be writing, and that alone will help you to hone your craft.

Starting in April, I started to take on freelance assignments. Last October I took the plunge, shifting my occasionally freelance assignments into a full time gig. You can be a freelancer too.

Click over to The Pencil Sharpener for the tips and tricks that can help you get going on your new writing career.

Lighting, tables and other crud we still need for our apartment

2012-01-13T14:35:00.000-08:00

I guess this is something I forgot about moving. It seems that no matter how many things you haul across the country or around the world, there is still so much you need. We have all of these big empty spaces in our new apartment, and we don't know what to pick up first.

Not my apartment

Lighting seems to be a pretty big need right about now. Our living room is bright, but our bedroom is so dim, I can barely find the bed after dark. I have fallen in love with the idea of bedroom chandeliers, something elegant to offset our contemporary furniture, but as we live in an apartment, that isn't happening anytime soon. The closest I could get is one or two cute mini chandeliers hanging from a chain, but that might be out of my budget right now. My office needs a lamp or two as well.

We need a dinette set. While eating in front of the television can be fun, it is getting old fast! There are plenty on Craigslist, but most of them are too big, too pricey or very clashy with the white and gold ceiling fan. Lighting appears to be a big problem here -- why don't apartments come loaded with island chandeliers and more overhead lights?

Also on the list: a bigger television, a Blu-ray player, a desk so Michael can get a closet office, a patio set for the balcony, decorative pieces, matchy-matchy towels, artwork and some rugs for our tiled floors. Oh, and I want a hammock

If I want to get my hands on any of these things any time soon, I better start writing more posts like this ;)

Stop doing this crap at the gym!!!

2012-01-12T10:43:00.000-08:00

Signing up at the LVAC was at the top of my list when I moved back to Vegas. Overall, it is my favorite gym EVER, and believe it or not, I have been to quite a few (seriously).

Since I have been back, however, I have seen a lot of wacky shenanigans, breaches of gym etiquette and a whole bunch of other WTF. Since New Year's weight loss resolutions have brought new members flocking to the building, a whole lot more silliness has been going on.

The following things are just too damn distracting and/or rude. Please knock them off now:

1.) Stop wearing more makeup to the gym than I would to hit up Tao or The Bank. I know those eyelashes could be extensions and the liner could be tattooed, but the dark eye shadow, blush and lipstick are not permanent features of your face. That much makeup means you aren't going to sweat, so why don't you just do your crunches at home?

2.) Cut it out with the phones. Sure, there are times when we need to pick it up or fire off a quick text or two, but this isn't the spot for a long conversation. The indoor track is not a cell phone area, and if you use it as one, you are looking to turn yourself into a speed bump. The good leg press machine is not the business center for you to use to send emails from your Android. On top of being distracting and in other people's way, you could really hurt yourself because you aren't paying attention. Just cut it out.

3.) Ask for help, but not from me. You can ask me for a spot if you bench under 50lbs, but don't ask me how to set up your machine, how to properly do an exercise, etc. I am not an expert and I do not work here and I don't want to be responsible when you injure yourself. I also don't want to look like an asshole when I tell you I don't want to help.

4.) Proper apparel please. Even if you are just pumping iron, no jeans and flip flops; I don't want to watch you tear up the seats and crush your toes when you drop a dumbbell. The steam room and sauna both prominently feature signs saying to wear swimwear only and to ditch the shoes, so please stop sitting in there in stinky gym clothes with your tennies grinding dirt into the place where I am about to put my ass. And cut it out with the tiny bikinis in the pool; unless you learned how to swim laps at Wet Republic, there is no excuse for thinking that's okay.

5.) Don't do weird stuff in the locker room. This is not the place to dye your hair or eat lunch. Weird stuff also includes sitting around naked for a prolonged period of time, as the odds are great that you will be parked in front of my locker, and I could accidentally brush up against you while I'm trying to retrieve my things.

6.) Learn proper form. You don't need to shell out lots of money to get a personal trainer. Sometimes a little reading, a query to a staff member and some observation of others already using the machine or doing the exercise is all it takes. Working out is good for you, but it can be really, really bad if you do it wrong and injure yourself. Heck, paying a personal trainer for a couple of sessions is way cheaper than back surgery.

So you want a job, huh?

2012-01-09T10:40:00.000-08:00

I know that times are tough. Unemployment is still incredibly high in the United States and in many other parts of the world, and in many areas things look like it could just get worse.

As discouraging as that is, the good news is that there still are jobs available. Visit any employment site and you will see tons of them. Visit Craigslist and you will see a bunch interspersed with scams.

The job market is a bit more competitive now. If you want that sweet gig at Burger Shack you have to do more than be able to sign your name and count.To get the gig scrubbing their toilets, you may need some experience, solid references and maybe a little bit of college -- because your competition probably has all that... and more! Oh, and there also happens to be more applicants for that job then ever!

Wait! Don't panic! There is no need to be freaked out if you never completed that masters in Philosophy or only have 10 years of experience in the field. Don't even sweat it if you are completely new to the industry and only have your high school diploma.

Regardless of your experience, education, training or the amount of time you have been out of the workforce, there are things you can do that can put you head and shoulders above other candidates, even those who are much more qualified.

Unemployment is serious stuff. Sometimes it can get frustrating, applying for job after job with no response. Often this leads to candidates starting to make simple mistakes that can snowball into making someone terribly qualified look like a horrible choice. A reminder about the right things to do might go a long way to getting you that interview and the position.

The following tips are based with recent conversations with employers that are hiring right now. These tips aren't guaranteed to get you hired, but they will get you a better chance of getting your application to the top of the stack and out of the cylindrical file.

1.) Follow directions.
This seems simple enough, but this is a major beef with hiring managers. Often ads give clear directives of what the folks in human resources want applicants to send, how they want it set up and where they want it sent. If directions aren't followed, these applications are deleted or thrown away.

In order to follow directions, make sure you read all employment listings (even crazy long ones) completely to be sure that you don't miss a single directive. Some of the instructions issued might make it feel like the HR department just wants you to jump through hoops, but there may be a good reason why they want everything to have half inch margins and Times New Roman font.

2.) Get the lingo down.
The world of employment and job seeking has a certain vocabulary. If you don't have it down, there is a good chance that you can't follow the directions you are given, leading to you not getting the call for an interview.

If you are asked for a cover letter, and you think that means they want you to send a couple of sentences in an email...yikes! Do a quick search for job search vocabulary and bone up before sending out another application.

3.) Have a proper resume.
There are plenty of books, websites and helpful friends and family members that can help you write one, so there is no reason why you can't have a basic resume on hand. If crafting a resume is particularly tough for you, you could even pay someone to do it for you.

That being said, there are some resume points to remember. Even if you think you know what you are doing, please remember to: list most recent employment first, proofread to eliminate any grammar or spelling errors, do not exaggerate or lie, and put the most important information first.

4.) Check out this site.
Seriously. Daily Writing Tips has great resume tips. Just a quick scroll through them put me on alert for something silly I have on my resume. Good thing I'm not actively looking for a job, huh? (I am looking for more clients that may want to take advantage of my writing, social media and consulting services, by the way.)

5.) Tailor everything to the specific job you are applying to.
If you are seeking work, you probably are applying to anything and everything you can find. This is easier to do with a generic resume and cover letter, but it is better done with a specific resume and cover letter.

Employers can see a generic resume and letter from a mile a way. Usually they see it coming because it doesn't highlight anything from your past that is particularly pertinent to the job, and it usually makes you look like you are much better suited to a completely different role.

Make sure your resume plays up your qualifications to the job you are applying to. Mention the company and why you want to work there in your letter. Even though this takes more time, this gives you a better chance of getting their attention.

So How Is That Resolution Going?

2012-01-07T11:38:00.000-08:00

New Year's Resolution Free in 2011

I am not against the New Year's resolution, but I am against ones that don't have good odds of actually working. This is probably your resolution.

You may think you are sticking to your big New Year's resolution, and you probably are. The vast majority of folks are convinced they are sticking to it months down the line, usually because resolutions are set up so that they are patently falter-free.

This doesn't mean that you shouldn't make a New Year's resolution, but you need to do it right!

If you already made a resolution, you may need to re-calibrate. If you haven't made one yet, it is never too late, as resolutions are great for every day of the year!

Here are three tips for resolutions (for the New Year or otherwise) that work!

1.) Be specific.
If your goal is to lose weight, work out more, eat better, drink less or something along those lines, good for you! Those are are good things to work for, but how are you going to accomplish these?

These are those falter-free resolutions I mentioned. If you skip the fries with your Big Mac once a week you are eating better, but that doesn't mean you are making progress. Working out more may mean going to the gym once a month for you. You can see where this is going, right?

If you want to lose weight, set an amount. If you want to work out more, establish how many times a week you want to do fitness activities. You definitely see where this is going.

Specific resolutions mean that there is a chance that you could fall short and fail. They also mean that you could do extraordinarily well and actually do something great and transformative with your resolution.

2.) Make it incremental.
Resolving to lose 20 pounds this year is a great resolution if you are a little overweight, but you don't expect to do it all at once, do you?

Set up your resolution so that you do a little bit at a time. As you meet these incremental goals you will be able to get excited about staying on track and getting closer to success.

Consider shaving off a pound and a half every month to meet your weight loss goal. If you want to get into fitness, add ten minutes to your workout every week.

3.) Make a game plan.
For some resolutions, this one may be more necessary than others. The bigger your goal, the more you will have to think about how you will get there.

Go back to the 20 pound weight loss resolution. Sure you want to ditch a pound and a half a month, but how will you do that? You need to make a strategy, and that plan will probably include eating a reduced calorie diet and exercising.

As you plan, there is a chance you may realize that your resolution isn't realistic because your goal is too large. You may realize that you have the potential for doing even more because your original resolution shot too low. If so, re-calibrate your final goal to be more realistic. New Year's resolutions are not set in stone!

A Quick Thought on Santorum and the Iowa Caucus

2012-01-04T22:14:00.001-08:00

Santorum was second in the Iowa Caucus? Seriously? Maybe first?

I'm not against conservative politics, and there are points where I agree, but I am against the idea that American politics and religion are intertwined. In a country built on the idea of freedom of religion, it is scary how many politicians are running their whole platform on this being a Christian country. So many platforms are being built on these people's individual religious beliefs, claiming then that these beliefs, their beliefs, are what God thinks is right and what he or she wants.

How long will it take for those who continue to assault gay rights, women's rights, health care and more will realize that they are on the wrong side of history? Is that the majority of folks on one side of the aisle? Would their loving God approve of their hate and lack of Christlike understanding and compassion? Is hate and intolerance a party now?

I'm not looking for a political debate, and I won't respond to one. I just want to let some things off of my chest...

PayPal says "Sorry"

2011-12-06T11:36:00.001-08:00

**UPDATE: Check it out! Unfrozen funds, a random $77 donation and a $100 to each of the families Regretsy was giving gifts to. (I think they could have done a bit better, and hopefully they will in the form of clearer policies and less shenanigans!)**

According to the official PayPal Blog, PayPay has released all of the frozen funds back to Regretsy, and according to their Facebook page, they will be making a donation too. However, the woman who runs Regretsy, April Winchell, says she has not received any official communications yet from PayPal. So let's see what happens.

It's great that they are doing this, but what if this was another company or organization? A group that didn't have a bunch of crazy internet folk and angry nerds behind it who were capable of stirring up a big internet shitstorm? There are stories that this has happened before, but no warm, fuzzy resolutions worthy of a corporate blog post occurred.

Is this a happy ending or just one little bright spot in the big, dark picture?

Shame, Shame PayPal!

2011-12-05T19:09:00.000-08:00

Long story short:

Regretsy, one of my favorite blogs was trying to raise money for poor kids to have presents for Christmas.

PayPal decided the "donate" button they were using wasn't appropriate; PayPal kept all the fees and forced the site's admin to return all the money to the contributors. It was suggested that she could "sell" the presents that she wanted to donate. So she did that, but PayPal said she wasn't allowed to do that either. Again, she is forced to return the money and PayPal is keeping all of the fees. PayPal made A LOT of money in fees and no money is going to buying needy kids gifts!

PayPal said it would be okay if she had used the donate button for helping a SICK KITTY but NOT POOR PEOPLE! I love kitties, but seriously?!

Read the article and help me think about alternative payment sites:

CATS 1, KIDS 0

The Skinny

2011-09-05T10:45:00.000-07:00

To say that I am busy is a massive understatement. Here is the skinny if you were interested:

- Michael and I are going to be moving to Las Vegas, NV in about a month. I am very eager to return, and I have been a bit busy with preparations.

- I have taken on A LOT of freelance work. Most of what I do happens to be for tech companies, providing services like web content, blog posts and social media services. I have also provided similar services (either directly or as a consultant for a marketing firm) for a small publisher, a plumbing company, a personal development site, and more. That being said, if you need services like those mentioned above, hit me up. Once I move I will be strictly self-employed, so I need your business.

- I have been reading. Check out current updates to My Bookshelf.

- The next issue of Umbrella Factory Magazine will be out super soon. Check out the poetry selections; I am pretty proud of my picks and terribly pleased with the quality of submissions we have been receiving.

While that isn't all, that is all I have time for. Don't worry, I won't be such a stranger for much longer ;)

Where My Writing Went

2011-07-11T19:00:00.000-07:00

I've been blogging professionally. Seriously.

You can read my most recent scribbles at PeachyOnion and at The Hippo Bargains Blog. Check out one of my most recent posts all about my Fondue Party Pre-Party here.

Hot Guys and Kitties!

2011-06-23T15:54:00.002-07:00

Hot Dudes with Kittens from Sam Trammell

Maru is soooo Cute!

2011-05-17T19:49:00.000-07:00

NaPoWriMo 2011 - Day 30

2011-04-30T05:45:00.000-07:00

your warmth wakes me.
your love made me sweat.
I open my eyes to you,
sprawled over me,
your tiny frame wide,
your back paws almost scraping my chin.
when I grumble you start to purr,
and when I try to push you off,
you roll to your side, almost on your back,
exposing your soft spotted tummy.
I fall back asleep
sweating
and rubbing your supple belly.

_____________________________
Today is the last day of National Writing Month / NaPoWriMo / napomo. That means that this blog is going back to regular (non-poetic) content starting with the next post and continuing on until next April. If you dig the poetry tidbits, check out the April archives from last year; I participated in all these shenanigans that year too.

NaPoWriMo 2011 - Day 29

2011-04-29T05:20:00.000-07:00

I can feel time.
I run my fingers over the tiny lines around my eyes.
I roll a grey hair between my thumb and forefinger.
I can feel it watching me from the wall clock,
as it clicks it's tongue at me
and taunts, "Can't you just go faster."

NaPoWriMo 2011 - Day 28

2011-04-28T05:44:00.002-07:00

his kisses blister on her skin.
the tiny whiplike scars from his lightest touch.
she gasps for air when she says his name.
she is pleasantly afflicted.
"I like him," she coughs.

NaPoWriMo 2011 - Day 27

2011-04-27T05:23:00.000-07:00

his body is all liquid,
fluid and undulating with each step.
under his skin, a sea
of brackish water and debris;
barnacles clinging defiantly to his heart.

he isn't just speaking now, but overflowing,
letting the murky water fall over
his chin, soaking his t-shirt.

NaPoWriMo 2011 - Day 26

2011-04-26T06:25:00.000-07:00

I can taste the lemon in my cuts.
I feel the sharp citrus
sting in my mouth.
I squeeze it all out, pulp and tart,
and start to stir.

NaPoWriMo 2011 - Day 25

2011-04-25T04:15:00.000-07:00

it almost seems that the bumps themselves
are chilling my skin in the grey dawn
as I draw my knees
toward my chest and quickly
glance -- the windows are closed
and the blanket is still there

NaPoWriMo 2011 - Day 24

2011-04-24T11:52:00.000-07:00

I burn my hand on the pot handle,

so I let it boil over the stove top.

I turn the heat down and cool

my reddened skin under the tap.

NaPoWriMo 2011 - Day 23

2011-04-23T09:33:00.000-07:00

sometimes I have trouble believing it is the same sun,
the same scorching rays
freckling skin and searing eyes
in the floodwater-carved canyons in the Arizona desert,
over the ruins of Pompeii,
on an African savanna,
on the day my mother was born,
as Aristotle took his first steps.

NaPoWriMo 2011 - Day 22

2011-04-22T05:04:00.000-07:00

you kissed me sickly sweet,
smearing caramel down my cheek,
leaving powdered sugar prints on my sleeve.
candyman, I remember you
by the box of chocolates on my counter
and the ache in my tooth.

NaPoWriMo 2011 - Day 21

2011-04-21T06:54:00.000-07:00

Stepping out into the sunlight
flecked with cold,
I go forward into the dew-less day,
stepping over green shoots
and decaying paper sacks.
Tightening up my scarf, I
suck in the icy air between my teeth
and somehow, I think
that it will be a great day.

NaPoWriMo 2011 - Day 20

2011-04-20T06:25:00.000-07:00

I miss your loud voice,

your gaudy, sequined chintz,

and the smell of sand and spilled beer.

I miss the way you took my money

and slyly slipped me cigarettes,

letting me know it was okay

to drink a pina colada in February.