jumblejan

I Love PB&J!

2011-10-12T16:51:00.000-07:00

First published on FB, 12 October 2011:

I'm an only child & my mum's father & siblings were all in the US. As such, her father, brothers and sisters regularly send Balikbayan boxes filled with stateside goodies. Spoiling me & teaching me to know & love US products in the process.

Sometimes, my mum's PX privileges (courtesy of my US veteran gramps) enabled her to buy stateside goodies at the Camp Aguinaldo PX stores. In those days, we call it 'PX', not 'Duty-Free' stores (shows my age, hah!).

I remember spreading Blue Bonnet margarine on my sandwiches, & as the Blue Bonnet catchphrase goes, "Everything's better with Blue Bonnet on it." It always was true for me! I just loved it!

Another wonderful food memory I have is PB&J, good ol' peanut butter & jelly! Mum always bought both Skippy smooth & chunky which I always top with sliced bananas.

Then mum brought home Smucker's Goober Peanut Butter & Jelly Stripes in both grape & strawberry variants. I got hooked!

As I grew older, other goodies presented themselves & it became hard to find Goober or Skippy & I temporarily forgot about PB&J. Then one time, at a grocery with my mum, I saw Goober PB&J strawberry! My old love was back! My eyes lit up when I saw good ol' Goober PB&J Stripes! Yum!

I still buy Goober everytime I wanted cheering up. A jar usually does not last a week for me. There are times I eat the strawberry stripes first, other times I eat the peanut butter first. Sometimes I spread it on slices of bread, other times on sliced bananas. Most of the time I just go at it by spoonfuls. And all the time eating it with full enjoyment.

PB&J takes me back to my childhood, away from the hassles, pressures & heartaches of being an adult. It's sweet & creamy & makes my poop creamy too - too much information! Lol!

PB&J, you never fail to satisfy me. ♥♥♥

It Is What It Is...

2011-08-28T19:20:00.000-07:00

I admit, I am not contented with my life. I am one of those people who think that life is unfair and incomplete and that there is a lot owed me.

But I also accept that it is what it is. It was what was dealt me. I may not like it but I do accept it & try to change everything for the better.

That is why I am surprised that a friend who has what I believe a wonderful life so angry with her life.

Admittedly, I don't know everything that goes on with her, I am not with her every minute, I haven't even seen her in years, but we keep in touch.

Some people are contented with having a comfortable life: a loving family and significant other, a good job and a place to call one's own. I also know people who are like me: discontented and still searching for the elusive feeling of contentment.

My friend has a loving mum, a sibling who is also her best friend, a wonderful significant other, a stable employment & her own place, and yet, she feels anger toward whatever it is.

It saddens me that she feels this way. I pray & hope that she recognizes this anger & resolve it. She's a wonderful person who deserves the wonderful things she has today. I hate for her to throw it away & give in to anger.

I too have anger issues, who doesn't? If life is not to one's own liking, strive for change. That was what other friends & my relatives taught me. Continue searching for what will make one happy.

I am still searching & will continue to do so till I do not know when.

Life is what it is...but I believe that there is always room for change.

Pole Dancing in 2011

2011-06-15T06:28:00.000-07:00

While growing up, one of my forms of entertainment was the television. During those times, movies in the afternoon were shown. If I wasn't doing my afternoon nap, I watched those movies, some of them were action movies wherein scenes were shot in seedy pubs & bars where ladies dance scantily clad & gyrating on a pole.

I remember watching Vivian Velez, the Body Beautiful, dancing suggestively & other nameless boldstars just holding the pole & dancing around it.

While working for a military outfit, some of the staff (male & female) were invited to a club owned by a military sargeant where half-naked women do lapdances, spins on the pole, fully naked ladies being groped & licked. (The licking part happened in a VIP room & we female staff were in a different room, but we snuck in a peek.)

In my mind, pole dancing is pictured with a backdrop of smoky air, slow music, the smell of beer & peanuts, of girls with bored expressions swaying to the music, the lonely pole with a girl holding on to & rubbing her body on it.But my opinion changed after learning one of my best friends is teaching pole. When I first heard of it, I could not picture her dancing, certainly not of dancing on a pole! Her description of pole dancing was so different from what I used to see on TV. I never knew pole dancing could be an art!

Watching my friend's videos of her group was an eye-opener. What they do on the pole is NOT the way Kendra Wilkinson, the Kardashian sisters, Britney Spears (Gimme More video) do pole. I've seen dancers on the Dance Your A** Off competition do better than Kendra, the Kardashians or Britney.

Pole dancing, I believe had come a long way from just dancing with a pole to entice men to look at a dancer as she strips in a seedy bar. Pole dancing is an art in itself. It is also a form of exercise to strengthen the upper body, to improve balance or to lose weight.My friend's group, the Polecats, recently won in pole competitions in Singapore & KL. I am so proud of them! GO POLECATS! You can find them on Facebook.

I wish I could do pole, but I think the pole my friend has in her studio can't support my weight.

It's Been A While...

2011-05-31T01:44:00.000-07:00

In honor of my being back in the blogosphere, here's a post I've made in Facebook (for those who do not have access/can't view my FB page) published on 8 May 2010, 4:20 pm:

I Will Be OK Mommy

I always tell you that when you're gone I will miss you because of a lot of things.
The issues we fight over,
My objections over things you try to teach me,
The food you always cook for me,
Your daily reminders that I behave & take care of my health,
The stories of your life,
The gossips about people we know.

I may always be difficult,
I may always be stubborn,
I may not always be accepting of your teachings,
I may at times seem uncaring,
I may not understand where you are coming from,
But I do love you.

I have lost the person I always fought with,
Who cooks great food for me,
Who secretly cheers me on,
Who is always proud of me.

You may be gone,
But you will always be here with me.
Wherever you are, please do not worry,
I will be OK, Mommy.

I swear!

2008-04-15T06:38:00.000-07:00

Read from Tittle-Tattle:

Chris Rock Mother Spoils Comedy Shows
by Staff

Chris Rock's mother disrupts his comedy shows every time she is in the audience - because the funnyman is too scared to swear in front of her.

Rosalie Rock imposed a strict ban on swear words as the star was growing up and his childhood fears of letting slip a rude word are still strong, even as an adult.

And now whenever Rock knows his mother is watching from the crowd, he would rather change his gags - which are usually peppered with obscenities - rather than offend his mum.

Rosalie tells New York Gossip Column PageSix, "I cramped his style. (Later) he was never told where I would be seated." (c) WENN

---
Now THIS is what you should teach your kids people!!!

Of course I swear, sometimes you just have to let your anger out, you know?

Adventures in job hunting...2

2008-04-04T04:30:00.001-07:00

So today, I went to a new company to apply for a job.

When I told the guard that I would be submitting my resume & apply for a job, she told me to deposit my bag first to the lockers beside another guard. So the guy guard gave me a number & pointed the corresponding locker to deposit my bag. I told him I'll leave my wallet & mobile phone in my bag, he nodded. I asked him if my stuff would be safe 'coz there's no lock in the locker, he nodded. Clearly not a man of many words.

So I returned to the lady-guard, registered my name, address & the position I was applying for.

I was told to sit. I sat & watched old Friends episodes from the waiting area's big, flat-screen.

The wait was not long, my name was called along with 8 other applicants. The first 4 were interviewed, and I chatted with the remaining 4. One was applying for an Operations Manager (Collections), one was a high school undergrad applying for her first job, another was a tutorial center teacher applying for her first BPO job, and the last was an experienced agent.

The first four's interview was quick & they left the interview room. The rest of us, save the experienced agent entered the interview room.

The questions were:
1. What position we were applying for.
2. Where learned of the company.
3. Describe ourselves.

The Ops Mgr applicant was dispatched first, he should wait for a call. The tutorial teacher was also told to wait for a call, if she did not receive a call, she did not meet the company's requirements. The 'fresh meat' & I were told to wait for the exam.

On the exam room, we were given 3 computer-based exams & 1 pencil-paper test. Some of us (yes, including myself) were not really listening to the examiner's instructions & proceeded to the second part of the computer-based exam. Haha!

Anyway, we were told we all passed. A quiet sigh of relief. The examiner was surprised because there was no audible reaction. We nervously laughed. We were given our interview dates & times, then we all parted ways.

Since I was in the area, hungry though I was, I decided to visit this MT school & inquire, I've read that they offer scholarship so, what the heck, might as well try!

It was 12:30 pm by then, I haven't eaten yet. I had not dined the night before, I only ate porridge & some brewad for breakfast. I really was hungry!

The training coordinator was very nice & explained the details well. I asked for scholarship details & I was told to take the scholarship exam. I was like, 'uhm, right now?'. So I went for it. It was HARD! Especially the math part. I bombed in high school & college math!

After my exam, I returned my answer sheet & the test booklet. I was told to expect a call tomorrow. Oh I do HOPE I PASS!!!

Lesson/s learned:

Never take tests when you're hungry.

Bring crackers/cookies/biscuits to tide you over while waiting.

Adventures in job hunting...1

2008-04-02T06:43:00.001-07:00

I went job hunting today, 2 days after I was officially let go. I returned to this company I applied to last 19 January. I applied then for a supervisory position. I did not hear from them again. *sigh*

I really wanted to work there, primarily because one of my closest friends from my just-left job is working there. (Don't worry Josh & Chelle, you're both my friends too!) Anyway, I decided that if I can't get the supervisory position, I might as well apply for an agent position & just work my way up. I don't mind the lower pay scale much, as long as I have a job! I think I can do a good job & get promoted. It's going to hurt my pride a bit, since Karen & Josh used to belong to my team. But it's ok, it's no biggie!

I was given an exam & then I was told that they will call me. (Oh, please, PLEASE CALL!!!)

With that one down, I went to a mall for lunch before going to another employment hunt.

I read about this company on the classifieds. They are offering a course I'd always wanted to take even before I left the financial institution job prior to my just-left job. Confused about my jobs? OK, a quick run down:

job # 1: my former high school - lasted for 4 years
job # 2: a transcription job for a book - around 2-3 months
job # 3: my former college - admissions, lasted for 4 months (it was an as-needed contract)
job # 4: financial institution - lasted for lmost 5 years, company closed due to financial difficulties (Go figure! A company who lends money suddenly went broke!)
job # 5: a bpo, content-provider - (the just-left job) lasted for 2.5 years

Back to my job hunt.

So I arrived at 2:00 pm, informed the HR/Reception person that I wanted to inquire about the course. She asked me to sit my butt & she called the person in charge. Waited.

Still waited.

2:40 pm, a lady comes out and said: "are there applicants for the -- school?" I raised my hand along with another woman. The other woman was entertained first & I was told that she will attend to me next. Waited. They finished talking. HR/school person returned to her cubicle behind locked doors. Waited.... HR/Reception person came & left her post to attend to other duties. Waited.. Grrr...

3:00 pm, HR/Reception person called HR/school person & informed her that another student was waiting for her. Waited...

3:15 pm, hurray! HR/school person finally attended me. I asked the necessary questions and was answered satisfactorily. The -- school director/coordinator went out to talk to me & told me that they are waiting for only 3 more persons to join so the course can start. We swapped email addresses & digits, & I left. It was 3:30 pm.

On my way to the church I'd promised to go to, I pondered whether my family can last 3 months (the duration of the course) without any monetary contribution from me. I am not worried about the fees, I can put it up, but I'm not sure where we'll get money for food & bills payments.

But I really want this course!!!

I talked it over with my mom when I returned home. She said go for it! I really wanted to learn a skill. When I was in college, what mattered then in applying for a job is the university you graduated from, not your skills.

I'm holding off on my decision till I talk to my aunt.

Lessons for the day:

Be prepared to wait...& wait...& wait. It was a good thing that the HR/Reception person was nice or I might have been really pissed off!

Be prepared to go hungry!

Be prepared to ask questions.

Job Hunt 101

2008-04-02T05:53:00.000-07:00

When you are job hunting, DO NOT FORGET the following:

1. Resume - updated,recent, edited for grammar & spelling

2. Picture - you may or may not need to submit it with the resume

3. Be in an appropriate attire - no jeans, t-shirts, garish jewelries or trinkets that make sounds (believe me, tinkling jewelries/trinkets can only be amusing to hear for a VERY short time)

4. Put on make up (for the ladies) - but if you're like me who hates being made up however lightly, a powder on your face takes the shine away (or else carry in your purses cotton balls & an astringent), or carry a hankie to wipe off any sign of perspiration

5. Wear clean shoes - a bit shiny, as long as dust is not visible. Sneakers/trainers are a no-no

6. Wear appropriate socks (for the gentlemen) - imagine seeing white athletic/striped socks on a pair of shiny shod feet

7. Carry the appropriate bag/purse - not too big, not too shiny, no backpacks with tinkling key chains

8. A good book - for when you have to wait for your name to be called. There are times you'd rather not talk to your fellow applicants

9. A working pen - I really hate it when a fellow applicant borrows my pen, hello! you are applying for a job & you don't have a pen with you? Jeez! I carry TWO pens in my purse, but I never lend them to anybody. HA HA

10. Note pad - a little one will do

11. Money - for food & fare, a little extra cash is always welcome

12. Crackers/biscuits/cookies - so you won't go hungry while waiting for your name to be called

13. Common sense - self-explanatory

14. BRAIN - ask the right questions, do not re-phrase the HR coordinator's (or a fellow applicant's) words just so you seem to be listening

15. Ears - listen to the HR coordinator's instructions, don't pretend you know what you're supposed to do

16. Attention - see #15

17. A little courage - heck everybody's a bit nervous when applying for a job! Duh!?

18. Prayer - a little heads up for the Big Guy above is always NEEDED!

19. Sense of humour - whether borne by nerves or natural ability, humour is always good!

20. To BREATHE - the HR coordinator will not eat you! They've gone through the same process you are undergoing, they KNOW how you feel!

10 things I hate about... being JOBLESS:

2008-03-30T19:41:00.000-07:00

1. Gaining more weight

2. Interaction with co-workers. There's nothing like trading silly, green jokes with one's co-workers!

3. Tight, really tight, budget. You can't really spend much on anything when you're jobless, you have no money coming in!

4. No exercise! Let's face it, walking or running after the bus, going up & down the stairs, eschewing the elevators, going to & from the boss' office, walking to food places are good exercise.

5. There are not really a lot of people you can talk to at home, especially if you need sensible, intelligent conversation! Most of the time, you get to talk to insipid, gossipy, character-assassins in your neighborhood.

6. No aircon! I don't care if I'm freezing at the office, at least I felt cool. At home, you are faced with a not-really-cooling, nearly-overheating fan.

7. Gaining more weight. Oh wait, I've already mentioned that!

8. Doing household chores & doing it well! At least when I'm working, I get to do my chores half-way.

9. Watch TV! Some people will go: say wha?! I'm not really a TV person. The only programs I watch are those from Discovery Channel, National Geographic, Animal Planet, & cartoon channels. Sorry! Besides, my mum controls the TV remote, so there!

10. GAINING MORE WEIGHT!!! Grrr!!!

College Daze!

2008-03-26T06:18:00.000-07:00

I met up with 2 of my best friends from college, the other member of our small group wasn't able to come due to back pains.

I met these ladies during our Freshmen Orientation, fourteen years ago. I remember sitting under a tree across the Covered Courts where the orientation will take place. I think it was Pam who approached me first. Or was it Ces? Right then & there, we became friends.

CD told us that 10th-year batch reunion is to be held this May. On that note, we reminisced about the people we went to school with, old boyfriends, old crushes, old teachers, old nemeses, old friends, old groupies, old shenanigans.

Those were the days when we gave people nicknames because of their attitude or what they wear. In our conversation, when we cannot remember the name of the person, we describe what he or she was usually doing or wearing when we were in college. Like this girl, who smokes like it was her last ciggie, or this bitchy girl who looks at you from head to toe, or this cute girl who always has a smile on her lips & eyes. It was funny!

I don't just stay with my group, or coursemates. I liked to hang out with people from other courses. I guess I had many friends in college, not just these three.

We remembered old (& have since died) teachers who used to throw pieces of chalks at noisy students, or the teacher who liked to start (some of) his anecdotes with the line, "when I was in L.A...", or this teacher/priest of Great Books who gives what we term 'easy As'. I also remembered this thesis adviser who labeled me as the 'lazy student'. Grrr.. When I gave her a list of topics I wanted to do my thesis on, she shot all of them down & made me do a thesis on women leaders & how they came to power. I know, a real snoozeville!!! Consequently, she gave me a just-to-squeak-by grade. I really DID NOT like her. Still not like her. Hmph! *sticks tongue out*

It was really amazing how time flew so fast. When we were in college, there were no cellphones, internet was at it's fledgling stages, computers were very expensive to own & rent, essays & theses were typed using electric or manual typewriters.

We talked about how we used to set up study meets (& dates) just by landline phones. And the guys visit the objects of their affections at home. Just imagine, nobody dared to be too late for an appointment (or a date)!

It was fun to remember the old days! But it also reminded us that we are getting older. Ces is married & with a 3-yr old daughter, CD is an artist & pole-dancer, Pam is a pre-school teacher, & I am jobless. I am probably the oldest in our batch. I was 23 when I started college, my batchmates were 17- or 18-yr olds fresh out of high school. My consolation is that I do not look 30+! *giggles*

I miss the old days, but I look forward to the future. To love & happiness & fulfillment, for me & my friends.

More words...

2008-03-13T17:06:00.000-07:00

From an unexpected friend - Cheng:

"They say ... Erasers are for people who make errors.

But I say ... Erasers are for people who are willing to correct their mistakes."

From the object of my bullying - Kelly:

"We never know how this closeness has started.
We will never know how it would end.

But whatever happens,

When our closeness is gone,

I will never forget how "YOU" made "ME" smile.."

---

"If beauty is a crime and goddess-like...

Sorry!"

From my favourite girl - Jodie:

"Take some time to smile when you're sad, to rest when you're tired, to love if you're

feeling empty, & to let go if you need to.

Time endures, time heals.

In this life, just take some time for yourself, then you'll see, everything will fall into

the right place...the way you wanted life to be."

From my crazy-funny girl - Yvette: [This is for all who never fails to SMS me!]

"Beatitudes for my best friend:

Blessed are you who send a smile, a hug, a laugh, a thought to inspire & lift me out of my blues.

Blessed are you, through whose texts God speaks to me.

Blessed are you who let me know I'm not alone.

Thank you for being a part of my life..

God bless you and your loved ones!"

The sound of silence

2008-03-09T00:19:00.000-08:00

Just because I've kept quiet does NOT mean I am guilty!!!

It is BETTER TO SHUT UP than hurt people.

Compris?

SATC

2008-03-02T23:01:00.000-08:00

Sex and The City: The Movie will be out soon.

This my favorite line from Carrie:

Life doesnt always turn out to be your fantasy, that's why you need friendships that are real to get you through it all!

So true!!!

Words...

2008-02-27T17:40:00.000-08:00

Words I sorely needed these days:

From my favourite girl - Jodie:

"There'll come a point in your life when you'll get tired of chasing everyone, trying to fix everything, it is not given up, it is just a realization that you don't need all those you went after because what u need are those who stood by even if you never needed them."

"Never explain yourself to anyone because the person who LIKES you doesn't need it...& the person who DISLIKES you won't believe it."

From my crazy-funny girl - Yvette:

"The storms or our lives proves the strength of our Anchor. As we love, trust, & depend on God, He will give us strength to do the impossible."

From my lovely, love-stricken girl - Tiff:

"Nobody can ever promise you that they will never hurt you, because at one point in time, it would happen. It is just a matter of WHEN."

"To my supergirlfriends. Here's to the little stuffs we talk, the guys we stalk, the naughtiness we pop, the laughs we can't stop, the gossips we spill, the looks that could kill, to having each other's back, to the next morning getting the tacts. Drownin' with beers (huh?) and the cheers, or spillin' the tears, we'll stay together through the years!

Rock on, gorgeous girlfriend! Stay pretty!"

I'm trying...

2008-02-23T18:20:00.001-08:00

IF by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

Passionate or just plain stupid?

2008-02-22T02:52:00.000-08:00

How many times have we hurt a loved one?

I have done it so many times I've lost count. I assure you that most of those times I hurt them unintentionally.

I always describe myself as a passionate person. I also am reactive at times. My mouth also runs away ahead of my brain.

I also am trying to live an honest, open life. I don't like secrets very much. Don't get me wrong, I
CAN keep secrets, especially those ultra-sensitive ones. I always say that lies & secrets have ugly ways of revealing themselves. I guess the reason for that is I fear karma. In my experience, karma is quick to show it's head.

If I will be asked to lie, my request is that I hope I am given ample warning so that my mouth won't just go off.

But these qualities sometimes hurt the people I love, my family, my friends. And I'm really sorry I hurt them.

If only I can go back through time, I will re-do a lot of things.

I REALLY AM SORRY! IT WAS NEVER MY INTENTION TO HURT ALL OF YOU!

I guess I'm stupid that way....

Pic that'll make you go Hmmmm..... or Eewwww?

2008-02-09T19:43:00.000-08:00

Courtesy of JustJared:

John Mayer slipped into a neon green thong aboard the “Mayercraft” cruise, which went to the Bahamas this past weekend.

Kazakhstani TV talking head Borat, aka Sacha Baron Cohen, wore the same green thong two years ago on the beach at The Cannes Film Festival.

Who wore it best — JOHN MAYER or BORAT?

PB&J anyone?

2008-01-31T22:36:00.000-08:00

I just LOVE PB&Js! Especially PB&SJ, S for Strawberry.

The peanut butter and jelly sandwich, (PB&J) appears to have been invented by GIs during World War II.

My favorite PB&J brand is Smucker's Goober PB&J. With its alternating striped PB&J.

My mom told me that I grew up on this brand that's why I loved it so much.

Smucker's Goober Strawberry PB&J - my kind of heaven!

The Criminal Mind

2008-01-16T14:53:00.000-08:00

From the Associated Press, I read this article titled: Holocaust survivor learns father's fate.

It recounts how an 8-year old boy saw his father be shipped off to a Nazi labor camp. And for years he's wondered what fate finally befell him. Because of a newly opened Nazi archive, the mystery has been resolved.

It has always puzzled me how Hitler and his minions think of such atrocities to do to innocent people. I accept that people are inherently brutal and that one's brutality/ies manifest in differing intensities, but it is just so awful to do this in the scale that the Nazi had done. Were these Hitler's own ideas or of his Nazi buddies?

Such hatred against a religion, which I am sure he does not wholly understand. But then, can one really understand a religion in its entirety? Religions have such intricacies that cannot be fully digested in one's own lifetime, not even when a person is dedicated to learning it.

Tyrants, despots, the truly brutal criminals, genocide, always fascinate me, in a scientific way. I want to know how they think, what goes on in their minds to make them think of and do those crazy, sick things.

I understand that in studying them there is a danger of assimilating their ideas and making it one's own. It has been proven. Sometimes these 'new' crimes are worse than the original.

It is such a shame that six million Jews had to die because of Nazi ideology. It is also a shame that 1.7 million Cambodians died under Pol Pot. My heart goes out for the people left behind by the Desaparecidos. I grieve with the loved ones of the soldiers and civilians in the Death March during the Pacific War.

My own maternal grandfather & his brothers walked in the Death March. Only three of them lived to tell the horrors. His three other brothers died as he took care of them during the March.

Maybe when I die & go to Hell, I can have a talk with Hitler, Pol Pot, Idi Amin, Josef Mengele and figure out how & where they got their ideas.

Of course I won't be blogging about those meetings, I'm dead then.. *laughs maniacally*

Catnap...

2007-12-07T20:19:00.001-08:00

The woulds & what ifs...

2007-12-06T15:36:00.000-08:00

There was a boy in high school that I used to know, RC. He was also my closest male friend.

He used to copy homework & exam answers from me. I also used to do his homework once in a while, & I have to make my handwriting resemble his before we pass it on to our teacher.

He was also the school playboy. He's got girlfriends left & right, some of which were my good friends. I also played go-between when he liked a girl I knew.

Somehow in our closeness, he came to like me more that a friend. I learned from his ex-girlfriend that he wants me to be his girlfriend. When I learned about it, I told him that we were just friends & that's it.

At the time, I didn't want our friendship ruined & I also didn't want to be one of his many girlfriends. Nevertheless, our friendship was ruined because I rejected him & he stayed away. I learned later on that he named one of his daughters after me, although with different spelling.

What if I did not reject him, what if I stayed with him? Would I have married him? Would I be happy with him? Would we be happy together?

Would I have met the people I've become friends & enemies with & who've enriched my life one way or the other, today? Would I have studied in the university I graduated from? Would I have finished college at all?

Would I have made the choices I did? Would my life be better? Would I stop thinking I've somehow failed?

A lot of woulds & what ifs.

If I could go back in time, there are a lot of things I'd like to change. I'd like to be brave. I'd like to be confident. I'd like to do crazy & dangerous things. I'd like to be spontaneous. I'd like to be smart. I'd like to be slim & beautiful. I'd like to be rich. I'd like to fall in love. I'd like to be happy...

Right now I feel I'm a failure. I haven't given my mum & my aunts a better life. I haven't even given myself a good life. I'm living a sad life. Oh yeah, I laugh & fool around with my friends, but when I'm alone, I cry inside, I'm in pain.

There were times I'd like to kill myself. But I was too chicken to do it.

I'm sorry, I'm just in a funk right now. *sigh*

The Resort

2007-11-30T20:06:00.000-08:00

Here are other insights about my vacation. Sorry this took soooo long. I'm a bit busy.

The resort: Encenada
Their website: http://www.encenada.com/
Warning: Do not be fooled by the pictures posted on their website! I'll tell you why later on.

Overall, the place was clean, maintained but not well enough, not even their dive equipment were kept well & in good shape, food was ok but not cheap, the staff were polite & the sand on the shore was swept daily.

Encenada Resort:

Getting there -

The roads were rough and bumpy, with dirt clouds swirling as vehicles pass. The entrance to the resort was a steep, ver steep road going down. Since the car was already laden with our stuff, L, C & I had to walk down steep & uneven stairs.

The Rooms -

Our rooms were both located on the first floor. The rooms were different from what you see on their website. I may be guessing here, but the rooms we stayed at did not look like the ones posted on the site. They were clean though.

My room which I shared with L had a noisy aircon & an overhead fan. It was roomy enough for 2, there were 2 queen sized beds, one of which was blocking access to the only closet in the room.

The bathroom had no lightbulb (we had to call on maintenance to put on a fresh bulb), water supply to the sink was leaking, same with the water supply to the toilet tank (which we discovered only the next day, 'coz the trash can beside it was full of water).

When we tried to enter the room on our second day after learning to dive, we couldn't open the door with our key. Maintenance had to put on a new door knob & issue us a new key.

Also, there was no lightbulb in the hallway.

In C & M's room, the aircon was not cooling enough. They pushed their two beds together to make a bigger room.

The Restaurant -

The restaurant was clean & airy, it was located on the second floor overlooking the bay.

Food was tasty enough but very expensive. Breakfast was like $6 per person which consisted of fried rice, 2 eggs, 2 minute sausages. I'm not sure how much they charged for coffee & iced tea, but it's definitely not cheap!

L & I were craving for Banana Split, it was on their menu but the waiter said it was unavailable. Mango juice was also unavailable! Their reason was that mangoes were not in season & they do not have everything on the menu during off-peak seasons. If that's the case, they should have updated their menu then! Grrrr!

To keep expenses down on day 2, we decided to buy food in the market. Just as well 'coz we were planning on a seaside night picnic with Joy.

When we tried to borrow cooking utensils from their kitchen, they seemed reluctant, probably because they would lose money from us not ordering food. But we did order rice & drinks from them!

On breakfast the next day, while L & I were cooking sweet sausages, we saw one of the owners approach M to tell him that we will not be allowed to borrow cooking implements from them anymore. So we had the restaurant cook our remaining food supplies & order the rest of what we want to eat from them.

When the food bill came, it turned out that they overcharged us: $2 per cup of rice, $2 per egg. Not only that, the food we had them cook from our supply was less that what we expected. C & L were chefs-in-training so they know that the quantity of the cooked food would have been more than what was served.

The Staff -

The staff were ok, attentive enough, a bit timid but friendly. Now, the owners were a different story.

The male owner was M's 'friend' from way back. Their 'friendship' was the reason we stayed in their resort. He was friendly enough & a bit hen-pecked.

The female owner, his wife, was scary, a bit intimidating. She seemed to run the resort like a tight ship. The few times I saw her, she was always reprimanding the staff. Not only was her demeanor scary, even her features look scary!

There also a bit of confusion as to who really controls the resort. According to M, he was given a discount by the male owner. While the wife-owner did not seem to know about the so-called 'discount'. In the end, we, or rather M, paid more than what he estimated.

Apart from that, M was charged twice for dive gear usage. The dive equipment we used (mask, tanks, oxygen, fins, BCs) were rented from the Dolphin Bay Beachfront resort next door to Encenada. The pool & dive boat we used were owned by Dolphin Bay. M had already paid Dolphin Bay the use of their equipment but on Encenada's bill, he was again charged for the equipment.

C, L & I were ready to do battle against the female owner, but M reasoned that he can always earn back the money he'd be paying Encenada by working & besides, there is such a thing as karma. So, C, L & I calmed & squared away our 'guns'. *sticks tongue out*

I think even Divemaster Joy was also ripped-off by the female owner. I doubt if he was paid right!

The Questionable pictures -

This is Dolphin Bay Beachfront resort's website: http://www.dolphinbay-beachfront-resort.com/

If you looked at Encenada's website, the opening picture they've posted was Dolphin Bay's main house. Also, the picture with a seaplane, that was on Dolphin Bay's property. Compare the pictures posted on both websites.

Dolphin Bay Beachfront:

What a rip-off!!! I guess since really wasn't much in their resort they had to pass off another resort's facilities as theirs. Then again, maybe they used to own Dolphin Bay's property, maybe. Hmmmm.....

Anyhooo...if you're planning on staying at Encenada, DON'T!

The only reason we enjoyed our stay there was Joy & diving!

Joy!

Next time, maybe we'll stay at Dolphin Bay. Hehehe

Vacation - partie cinq

2007-11-24T23:04:00.000-08:00

Before we get to my story, I have a question for you, my dear readers.

Q: WHY IS THE SEA SALTY?

Read the answer at the end of this posting!

Day 5:

Our last day in the resort.

We ate then packed our stuff, we were told that the ferry will leave at 10AM. C went to the resort owner to settle our accounts while L & I took some more pictures. M was with Joy in the neighboring resort going over the expenses we've incurred using their dive gear, tanks & dive boat.

After a few minutes C came over, fuming. It turned out that the resort overcharged & double-billed us. More on that later.

When we got to the port, we found out that the 10AM had been cancelled for, like, 2 months already. The only departure time was 5PM. We had to wait for 7 hours! To pass the time, we browsed through the merchandise in the 3 stores there. C & M had lunch there while L & I went to town to buy souvenirs & have lunch.

Ours was the first car in the port parking lot, so every time a vehicle which will also take the ferry arrived, we kept saying we should be first to board since we arrived ahead of them.

I read a book, C & M were saying sweet nothings to each other (Ah! L' amour!), L napped. Afterwards, everybody's napping in the car. M & I had our feet hanging outside the open door of the car. M had his head on C's lap, C sat in the front passenger's side, I rested my head on my backpack, L was curled up beside me.

After approximately 7 hours of doing nothing in the car, boarding was announced by the ship's crew. WE boarded & the ship got under way.

Upon exiting the arrival dock, C announced that she wanted to pee. And the way she said it was like a 3-year old throwing a tantrum! Believe me, it was not a pretty sight!

It was late when we got off the ship, around 8PM. While M drove, L & C chatted, I napped.

We stopped at a well-patronized stew house to have dinner. I was stuffed! Then we napped again. *yawn* It was roughly a two- to three-hour drive to the city.

We then bought coffee at a gas station to keep M awake as he drove.

On a town near the city, we parked to withdraw money from the mall's ATM. I already noticed a guy behind us who kept staring at us. I didn't realize M noticed him too. It turned out that there were two of them. C & L got their money first. As they were doing their business, I had my back to them & faced off the guy who followed us. When we're done, we got to the car fast & left the place.

We got to C & M's place near midnight. L & I opted to sleep there for the night instead of heading home.

---

That's it for the vacation part. Other insights to come! Stay tuned! *sticks tongue out*

---

Now for the question posted above:

The sea is salty because of ALL THE PEEING THAT PEOPLE DO WHILE IN THE SEA!

Joke!!!

Just so you guys know, this joke was not originally mine! L asked this to innocent M.

Vacation - partie quatre!

2007-11-15T22:34:00.000-08:00

Day 4:

As usual, we woke up early to get an early head start on diving. Waited for C, who was always slow, had breakfast, got the gear ready, got on the boat, & we're off!

This time the trip took a little longer & the boat's lighter. In the boat were just us four, Joy, the boat pilot, his assistant & Marivic, a young resort staffer who will accompany me snorkeling.

At the dive site, the current was a bit strong. M, C, L & Joy suited up, I wore my BC & got ready to snorkel. After the divers got into the water, I joined them & headed to the snorkel boat with Marivic. Before we left, M took my picture from underwater. Hah! I have an underwater pic! LOL

L, M & C on their dive:

The snorkel boat took me far. We passed by corals on varying depths of water. There were a few fishes who got around us when we occassionally stopped or slow down, no doubt curious if I had any food with me 'coz the fishes were used to snorkelers feeding them bread.

After a while we returned to the dive boat. I told the snorkel boatman to return in about an hour or two 'coz I wanted to go snorkeling again. I struggled getting on the boat, my arms were so tired from hanging on to the snorkel boat's ropes and the current was strong.

We then anchored near a good stretch of shore. We rented a mat from an old lady who also sells shells & conchs. We stayed there for an hour while we rested & had a pictorial session: while on the water, C danced in the water, with big rocks, inside & outside a cave. We also saw a dog swimming from the other side of the cove to our side.

On to another dive site!

We'd already gone to this place the day before but since the diving was a little better there, we returned. I went snorkeling & L & C went with me this time. When the snorkel stopped, we fed the fishes with bread we brought with us. It was such a treat to see them eat off of our hands. I was even talking to them through my snorkel, which of course they couldn't understand! C even told the fishes to come to her. M joined us & Joy took pictures of our fish feeding, well at least he tried, the current was really getting stronger then. He had a hard time trying to catch up to us.

L, C, M & I snorkeling:

When the snorkeling boat got to an area where the water was deeper, L & C saw a lobster who promptly hid under a rock. Funny! I heard C talking through her snorkel & pointed out the lobster. Then we got to an area that gave me a weird feeling, like, an I-don't-want-to-be-there feeling. Good thing the boat then turned to take us to the dive boat. It was already getting late in the afternoon and the current's stronger, so strong, that even L & C had difficulty getting up the dive boat's ladder.

We returned to the resort. On the way there, C, again, was scared of the strong waves rocking the boat. She got dizzy so she closed her eyes to sleep. Little did she know that I was taking pictures of her while M made faces beside her.

Before we got to the resort, we dropped off M & Joy some ways off for them to dive & take underwater pictures. C & L decided not to join them 'coz C had a hankering for KFC and she's been throwing tantrums. M & Joy will just swim back to the resort when they're done.

When M & Joy returned, they told us that they encountered a bull shark. M noticed a what he thought was a rock and he pointed it out to Joy. They had a feeling that the 'rock' seemed to be following them, when Joy turned to look again, they saw it turn & swim away. They saw the shark's white underside as it swam away. Good thing it didn't decide to go after them.

The area they were at was shallow with murky water, which what bull sharks prefer to dwell at.

I was thinking, if I hadn't been too chicken to dive, I'd probably have seen the shark. I do so want to see a live shark!

After getting refreshed, we went to an area where tourists frequently stay. We had dinner & bought souvenirs there. While we were choosing our purchases the area had a blackout! L's mobile phone has a flashlight so we still got our shopping done. *winks*

It was a bit funny while we were on our way back to the resort. The road was rough and bumpy and L & C had to cross their arm so that their boobs won't bob up & down too much which hurts a lot. I didn't have to do that 'coz mine are small. Lol. I'm just big in size but my boobs are of average size. Too much info, huh? *sticks tongue out*

Back at the resort, we hung at the beach sipping margaritas and beer. After a while, we karaoke'd at the resort next door. L & I played billiards while C, M & Joy sang their hearts out.

When the 6-year old son of the resort next door came to join L & myself on the billiards table, I left them to play & I joined C, M & Joy. I tried singing & failed miserably. *sighs* I tried to sing Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn" but ended up laughing my way through the song because C was miming along with the song ala-Johan Lippowitz. It was really funny. You should see the YouTube version!

L & her 6-year old 'boyfriend':

It was late when we returned to our resort. The tide was high then & almost reached the stairs to the main resort compound. We saw some fishes & L took pictures. Then we went to sleep.

TO BE CONTINUED....

Vacation - partie trois!

2007-11-09T23:24:00.000-08:00

Day 3:

After breakfast, M told us that we were going diving out to sea with a family who came for the weekend. L & I got ready fast, while C took her own long, sweet, time to get ready, like, a half hour?! It was good that the family did not get annoyed with us.

We cast off for almost an hour's ride to the dive site. We passed this part of the sea where the currents collide into each other, swirling like a vortex. The boat slowed down so as not to be too buffeted by the waves. Surprisingly, there were a number of divers there. We were told that the site was really good for diving.

When we got to the snorkeling/dive site, the family with us went snorkeling first. L, C, M & Joy geared up & dove into the water. L geared up first & jumped into the water. While she was waiting for C, M & Joy, she persuaded me to go snorkeling. Since I was really scared, she promised to go get a quick dive then go snorkeling with me. I was still making up my mind if I'm gonna jump in or not, although I was already wearing my BC.

L on her dive:

When C, M & Joy went into the water, I decided to suck it up and try to snorkel. In the water, I was REALLY scared! L guided me to the boat that would take me to the snorkel place. As soon as I got hold of the boat's rope, we're off. Surprisingly, my fear left & I enjoyed the time very much.

I saw pretty fishes, colourful corals, dead corals, a starfish or two, sea urchins, a lobster, but I was really looking forward to seeing a reef shark. The water was cold then warm then cold, and so on...really, the water can't make up it's mind if it's gonna be cold or warm.

Taken by M under water:

When I returned to the dive boat, I saw C inside the boat, I thought she went with M, L & Joy on their dive. When I finally got up the dive boat, after struggling to get my foot on the ladder, she told me that she was getting cramps so she stayed. Hey, she's not called Lara Cramp for nothing!

So we waited for the others to return.

The first diver to return was L. We watched her hit the outrigger of the dive boat. We laughed of course. Joy got on the boat and removed his gear & told us that there was an octopus that got him worried so they returned. He also said that L swam so fast & that he tried to catch up to her especially when he saw she was going to hit the outrigger.

After M removed his gear, he sat down to rest. Then C sat next to him & proceeded to remove his suit. She was so intent on helping him out of his suit it looked as if she was tearing his suit from him. It was so funny!

After everybody are all settled on the dive boat, we rested & ate as we left for another dive site where giant clams were being cared for. When we got there, there was a solitary small boat with a man who was just observing everybody who came near. It turned out that he was a ranger of sorts set to guard the giant clams against theft. He also has a rifle in his boat.

L, C, M & Joy went diving again, the family went snorkeling again, I stayed holding on to the outrigger's ropes pretending to snorkel. LOL

Topside, Lara Cramp & I watched a surface marker buoy approach near our dive boat. We also observed some divers get into the water. When L returned, L & I got into the water and pretended to snorkel. We held on to the ropes & watched the other divers go past underneath us with their bubbles tickling our faces.

When everybody's topside & settled, we returned to the resort. I was already late in the afternoon & the waves were getting strong. C complained why the sea's so unruly & that she was getting dizzy & scared. She held on to M while I secretly took pictures. Well, secretly at first. LOL.

TO BE CONTINUED....