Nope, no no and no… no strip on the launch of the iPhone 4 today in 30 countries. If you’re an iPhone addict, check here.

There’s a lot of drama these days and I’m sure the pope has a shit load to deal with (not that he’s a super busy guy…). A few retarded amount of priests were caught having some dodgy relationship with children. There are a lot of things that I painfully hate (facebook, emos, feminists, role-players etc) but for real, nothing tops a retarded priest who, on behalf of a religion, abuses children.

Pedophilia is a taboo and for fuck sake, it shouldn’t be. People always claim that tolerance, empathy and all that gay hippie stuff should be praised… I say why not but a grown man abusing a kid? Fuck no!

Movie director Tom Six had a vision when he thought about these douchbags who abuse children. He believes that this shit heads should have an ass sewed to their mouth… That gave birth to the greatest kick ass freak movie ever called “the human centipede” (google it, you won’t be disappointed). I saw that movie and sorry to say, Tom Six went too soft on them; a pedophile should have his ass and mouth drilled with a chainsaw.

On a side note, go watch “Inception”. Awesome movie and if you didn’t like it, roll over on broken glass.

Couldn’t resist, had to post something about that huge event, the launch of Starcraft 2 by Blizzard. Most people around me know about Starcraft which shows you how I am surrounded by spineless geeks. If you don’t, I have taken 3 minutes of my life to embed the cinematic trailer. Bit cheesy for me but it clearly shows you that nowadays, video games are not just about a fucked up ball head fucking eating smaller fucking balls and chased by fucked up drugged ghosts in a fucking maze (I use “fuck” a lot just ’cause pac-man is such a retard).

Am I really going to spend THAT much time playing Starcraft 2 ? Huuuu no. That strip actually reminds me when I used to play Starcraft 1 more than 10 years ago. Good old time when I could play the entire evening, night, morning and still kick ass.

On a side note, I’m back from Barcelona whith a bunch of new strips so stay tuned and if you’ve left this blog, eat penguin shit and roll over the highway. Juuuust kidding, just light yourself on fire.

On a double side note, the highway is more fun.

Also, besides Silver (<3 <3 <3), no one really seems to miss it so suck it. I’m probably gonna have a break for a little while but I know I will be back soon enough for your greatest displeasure. And I repeat, if you have a job only because for money, I really hope you’re making a LOT of it because otherwise you’re a moron. And if you’re like me, you love your job, then gratz, your life is a success.

What a joke, the sport that generates the most cash in the poorest continent in the world. You’d think and hope that the African outsiders would beat the Latins and European football cash machine like a retarded happy Hollywood ending but noooo, back to earth morons, who has cash wins…. or so you thought.

Check that lame French team. Lots of cash (too many if you ask me) and what they do? Fuck around, cheat like there’s no tomorrow and insult their coach. One word, “disrespect” (actually two, the other one being “retards”). Disrespect to the law, disrespect to the fans and sport and disrespect to the youth that look up on them. That piece of shit team should be ban from the football federation but again, that same federation is probably as corrupted as a 64 years old italian judge so here’s the example to follow kids : fuck around, get rich and do whatever, rules don’t apply to those who have cash.

Oh noes, how did I get so cynical!!!? oh wait, I know.

Was difficult to pick up a title for this strip because it’s easy to give away the ending in it. Also, since there’s a preview of the text that appears on the first page of the blog, also hard to mention anything about it in the first few lines. So we’re simply gonna remember that I’m awesome and people must worship me like there’s no tomorrow which by the way will happen soon as I’m about to reach god… but since I am god (at least my own) then this does not make sense.

Anyway, Justin (ban)Wagoner… remember that name guys, ’cause I won’t. That retard is the dude who is camping in front of an Apple store a week early in order to get his iPhone 4 on the 27th of June. That’s right, a WEEK early. Now, I’ve been tolerant towards nut bags because I believe you have the freedom to do whatever as long as you’re not hurting anyone. BUT, that asstwat decided to camp because he had … TIME. And why does he have time? ‘Cause he’s unemployed. Now that goes beyond my supreme understanding. Instead of looking for a job, that moron decided to waste people’s tax on… an iPhone!

Don’t get me wrong, the iPhone 4 will kick ass but I mean… really? a week??! If I ever meet him, I will gladly kick his ass and shove his iPhone 4 up his ass.

“Life is like a box of chocolates… you never know what you’re gonna get.”…

YES HUH YOU DO! YOU GET CHOCOLATES FFS. Forrest Gump was clearly a retard… I mean do I even have to argue here? If one wanted to explain all the surprises of life, clearly the lift is a better example. Have you ever waited for a lift and once it opens, you find out that you do not want to get in because there’s a fat dude in it that smells ass sweats like a pig. OR the doors open and BAM! Gisele Bundchen in it! See? A lift is full of surprises!

Change the letter “T” in the word lift to “E” and you get… LIFE! and change “F” in life to “K” and you get LIKE! See ???? LIFE is LIKE a box of blablabla… point taken, I win.

Big mucho love to Silver for taking the time for this strip. Straight to the heart, a bat on a hand, the cojones on the other, smashing mofos à gogo for the benefit of the human race. Cheers mate, you had me at “Facebook”.

<3

Strip dedicated to all the retards who still don’t know what “Jundooz” means…

<3 you all who followed me since the start and those who is bandwagoning …

We have officially stepped into modern mobile communication with the new iPhone 4 announced on Monday at the WWCD. I still remember when I saw in SF movies people talking to each other with a camera (star wars anyone?).

I however don’t think we’re quite ready for it. Here’s the thing, in a normal real life conversation face to face, you never look at someone more than 10 seconds in the eye, that’s a natural reflex. You either look around while you talk or time to time check your watch, scratch your chin etc. How would that happen in a video conference call? People will want to look at each other but I’m sure that many will hide themselves. So be it, Apple has a cool feature where you can activate the OTHER camera on the back so that the person you’re calling will see exactly what you’re seeing. Pretty, pretty, pretty good.

Of course, Apple is not the first one to introduce videocalls… it has been attempted years ago. But while mobile devices were at a baby stage, Apple has managed to bring simplicity and sexiness to it and like “cut-paste” on a mobile or the tablet technology with the iPad, they manage to bring it to the mass audience with success. And with its new “mini-iMovie” in this HD 720p video phone, I can’t WAIT to see what people will come up with!

Again, no flash on the new iPhone and seriously, who gives a flying fuck about Flash. It’s old technology that has poorly evolved. To me, the lack of Flash is a blessing… I don’t have to endure those fucking intrusive ads on the web anymore. As for video, people are shifting to HTML5 so suck on this.

The iPhone 4, like the 3Gs and even the 1st gen one will not be the best technology around, I’m sure that other constructor will come up (catch up is the word actually) with same or better products on paper but then again, Apple has redefined the standards. Let’s be objective and honest here, the iPhone 4 will kick ass and the anti-mac clowns can eat penguin shit and crawl back to their open fuck source shit hole. Yeah, google that.

If I hear one more time “omfg why there’s no Flash and USB port olol!!1″, I WILL architect a world of pain in your candy ass. Yes the iPad is out and it’s brilliant if you ask me and it has nothing to do with the fact that I own a Macpro, a Macbook, an iPhone and yes, an iPad.

I truly believe that the iPad is the future of modern mobile computing. Yes a laptop is still on business but let’s face it, they’re fucking heavy and besides portable computers, who wants to carry 20kg worth of magazines and books? An iPad weights 650gr so that’s right, I now have only to carry around 650gr on my right hand… and an iPad on the left one. What? come on, let’s face it… pornography will invade the iPad, whether Steve Jobs likes it or not…

Joke aside, it’s a brilliant piece of technology and most importantly, fun to use. Of course, the iPad might not be the best tablet that will come out this year but surely enough has set the standard that everyone will copy. I’ll talk about Flash and USB soon enough so stay tuned.

On a side note, you’ve noticed that I don’t publish everyday anymore. Although I try to keep it fresh as much as possible, let’s face it, it’s summer and I’ve got better things to do than entertain you for free. It’s good to be me.

On a double side note, I have updated the “Volcano attack” strip with a brilliant video from Ricky Gervais’ live performance “Fame”. Check it out ffs!