Just a border girl...

I Believe You, It's Not Your Fault

2015-08-28T15:18:00.001-07:00

Amazing writing about feminism, misogyny, and women's rights.

http://ibelieveyouitsnotyourfault.tumblr.com/post/95389261470/it-was-easier-to-give-in-than-keep-running

New Year's Resolutions

2014-01-20T09:04:00.002-07:00

Happy New Year everyone. I do have a tendency to do things late. Scroll through the New Year's Resolutions pictures. You'll see lots of different ideas for resolutions that people make each year. Keep going, there is more below the pictures.

It's already 20 days into the brand new year. 2014. It seems that everyone seems to think that this is their year to shine. Just look at all the boards on Pinterest labeled 2014. I haven't heard from anyone that thinks that this will just be another year down the toilet that is our lives.

Most people like to start the new year with a list of resolutions. There are some general themes to resolutions such as weight loss and fitness, improving relationships, improving other areas of our lives. And most of these resolutions are forgotten or guiltily ignored by January 3^rd.

I didn't make any resolutions this year. I don't believe in that whole “another year, a new you” thing. I spent most of last year trying to make some changes in my life. I haven't completed any of my goals yet, but I have learned about many ways to win at this game.

I do believe in goal setting. Resolutions need to be a daily decision to improve oneself rather than a lofty list at a certain time on the calendar. I feel that although we may all need to change huge portions of our lives, only small changes each day can enact true reform.

Over the past few months I have been slowly changing the way I eat. I've been following a healthy plan during the week and have the weekends free for when I'm not at home (if I am home, I try to eat healthy but differently than on the weekdays). From the many things that I have read over my life about eating healthy, I know that I need more fruits and veggies each day and less of everything else. I've started to have a daily green smoothie glop mix. That means that for breakfast I get out the 8 cup food processor and fill it with kale, blend, fill the remaining space with a pre-made mix of spinach and other healthy greens (the bag says Spinach Powerhouse Mix), blend, add a banana, an apple, some stevia, 10 baby carrots, 2 celery stalks, 2 C. frozen fruit (large bag with pineapple, mango, peaches, and strawberries), and orange juice to finish filling and blend. If I had flax seed oil, wheat grass, green tea powder, or seaweed, I'd add that too. It depends on the thickness if I try to eat this with a spoon or drink it through a straw. I'm learning to enjoy it. If I still need something after 8 cups of fruits and veggies, I have a piece of high fiber bread with peanut butter. I feel healthier when I eat this way and my body seems to function better. Less joint pain is my favorite side effect so far.

Next I plan, but haven't started, to have another smoothie for lunch. This one however will not be a thick green drink and can include things like milk (or any of the milk substitutes), nuts, coffee, chocolate, etc. This one will be a true smoothie that I can sip down and get on with my day.

For dinner we've been alternating between “as veggie as possible” soup and veggie burgers on whole grain rolls. We really, really liked the buffalo veggie chicken patty with feta cheese.

So, the whole eating thing is planned, under control, and progressing. So on to fitness.

I've always thought that it would be fun (yes, I said exercise might be fun...) to run a marathon. Not the full 26.2, but the smaller ones like a 5K (3 miles), preferably to raise money for some cause. So I finally got motivated to start. Today I start the first concentrated exercise program that I've been on since college. And considering my age, weight, and lack of health insurance...let's hope it goes well... My daughter and I plan to do a couch to 5K program that will take us 15 weeks. The typical couch to 5K program takes 9 weeks. We stretched it out a little longer than the usual program because I'm afraid that since we're so out of shape that slower will be safer.

Aside from those two things. I still have my usual 30 days that I am trying to bring into habit or completion:

Travel

Plan the details of a get away to visit family.

Just for Fun

Apply for freebies online.
Find a new book series to start.

Spiritual Development

Continue daily gratitude list.

Family and Relationships

Plan February activities for scheduled time with my man and my family.

Environment

Finish kitchen organization and keep it that way.
Find a way to contain the mess that the mini tornadoes cause as they spend time at my house.

Business

Start classes.
Write every day.

Personal Development

Research communication and intimacy in relationships.
Research attachment disorder.

So skip those resolutions. Don't stress if you've already broken them. Make daily plans to change your life and aim yourself in the direction that you wish to go. Life is too short to sit around and wait for your fairy godmother to do it for you. Change takes work. Put in the work and you will see results.

Christmas Messages

2014-01-06T20:06:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, it's a wee bit past Christmas. Mine was lovely. Here's what I wrote while I didn't have wi-fi...

The main reason I had the idea to write about the messages in stories is an episode of House M.D. (Season 4, Episode 10: It's a Wonderful Lie) where House says, “Gifts allow us to demonstrate exactly how little we know about a person. And nothing pisses off a person more than being shoved in the wrong pigeonhole.” That seemed so deep and profound to me that I have thought of little else since. I thought of it as I bought gifts for others, and I thought of it as I opened the gifts that I received. I thought about whether my family really knows me and I thought about if the man I'm seeing really knows me. I didn't torture myself with it, because its just one marker of the health of a relationship.

I have also recently come to the conclusion that others give us what they themselves want. Don't take that too literally, because there is a lot wrong with that statement. However, if you see (or are in) a relationship where there is a clear mis-distribution of power (from The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past: “The one who loves the least is the one with all the power.”), watch what they do for each other...watch what they give to each other. The one who initiates physical contact the majority of the time, even that hello kiss, is the one who will end up heartbroken. The one who gives to the other little things all the time...little gifts, brings them a favorite drink-candy-whatever little token, is the one who you can expect to lose. It's loving and thoughtful to reach out and to think of the other person when they aren't with you, but if they aren't doing the same, then you are doing too much.

I think that House is right. If you can't gift someone something that shows that you know them and what they like or want or wish they could get themselves, then what's the point. We give gifts to show that we care for others and that they are important in our lives. A gift that has been thoughtfully chosen shows that we care. Part B is: Be careful with your heart, because if you give a great deal more than what is given back to you then you will lose.

Messages

2013-12-01T15:45:00.000-07:00

I have noticed that most stories, in general, have a message that they wish to convey. Not quite the same as a parable that's meant to teach, but a general idea that is kind of the “aha!” moment for someone in the story or for the reader/viewer. It may just be how the story applies to the reader/viewer's life. As I've mentioned, I have a thing for House, M.D. so I thought I'd dig a little deeper into the messages that those stories give to the public. It doesn't seem to be in every show. Or maybe I just don't get all the messages. That doesn't mean that they aren't enjoyable episodes, just that I didn't take home any thoughts after watching them.

Horses, Not Zebras
When looking for answers...to a medical condition...or to basically anything, look for the common rather than the uncommon. Its more likely to be eczema than the black plague. It is more likely that the bratty toddler needs a nap than that he has a food allergy. It is more likely to be car lights shining in your window than aliens invading.

You can't always get what you want...but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need ~Mick Jagger
In the movie 28 Days, Sandra Bullock is an addict in rehab where they give her a sign to wear that says “Confront me if I don't ask for help!” Its true. Many people are so busy with their own struggle that they don't have the sense to say to someone else, “help me” with whatever. Sadder still is that sometimes when people do have the sense to ask others for help...others are too deep in their own struggle and can't hear the request for help. I've been guilty of needing that sign. I've been afraid or too full of pride to ask for help. And I've asked for help that has gone unheard. I've probably been on the flip side of that where I was asked for help but didn't recognize that I was being asked anything. I've been scolded and told that the answer is to keep asking and to get louder about it until I am heard. I don't think that it would help because if people are too __________ (whatever, busy, stoned, disconnected, etc.) to hear the first request, then usually they will continue to be unable to hear.

Truth begins in lies...
House believes that everybody lies. He's probably right. People lie for a multitude of reasons. And if you need to see through the lies, a good place to start is to look at what the lie was about and who it was supposed to protect.

Its not what people say, its what they do...
In the Pilot episode of House, the patient asks Wilson if House is his friend. Wilson says “House says he's my friend.” The patient says, “Its not what people say, its what they do.” To which Wilson responds, “He's my friend.” I've been in this place, where I've had to question what was real...someone's words or their actions. I think that sometimes we don't see what others do for us. So we don't know that their actions are showing us something. I think that the quote, “If your words and actions don't match then one of them is wrong.” is more true. If you wonder if you are being taken for a ride by someone, look at what they say and what they do. Are they hurting you but claiming that they do everything for you? Then run. Are they clueless about how to show the love that they feel? Then give them some guidance rather than running from someone who really may love you.

We all make mistakes...and we pay the price.
In one of the season one episodes, a woman gets African sleeping sickness by cheating on her husband with someone who is infected. When the husband finds out, he leaves the patient. The patient says to House, “He's not coming back, is he?” House replies, “No. We all make mistakes and we pay the price.” This is pretty much the same idea that The Peaceful Warrior encourages. "Every action has it's price and it's pleasure, recognizing both sides, a warrior becomes realistic and responsible for his actions." I've made lots of decisions based on that theory. If the price is too high, then the pleasure isn't worth it.

Life is hard. Try. Try to see those that need help, and help them. Try to see through the lies to the misguided intention of protecting your feelings. Try to see the good in people. But also, if someone seems to be carrying your bad luck in their right hand, then they probably don't have your best interest at heart. If someone close to you never hears your needs, never reaches out to you when you need someone near, then question their actions. And if someone is lying to you to protect themselves from your anger, then confront them. More tomorrow, thanks for reading.

Peaceful Days

2013-11-30T18:45:00.001-07:00

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Now I have to admit that any holiday that focuses on a feast is my idea of fun. My friend's Thanksgiving menu had: turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, gravy, twice baked potatoes with shrimp, bacon wrapped asparagus, "meat stuffing" (ground pork, chopped bacon, ham, green olives, celery, and scallions), ambrosia (fruit salad with marshmallows and whipped cream), rolls, apple pie with ice cream, pineapple upside down cake, mango upside down cake, prunes stuffed with walnuts and sweetened condensed milk, buñuelos (light and crispy fried pastry with cinnamon and sugar topping), fresh fruits, walnuts, and mini chocolate bars. This is a very large family, so a lot of food was necessary, but this was more food than I'd seen in a long time (especially with the power outage and the boredom of canned food). I quickly asked how to make the meat stuffing (which I would really classify as a savory minced meat) and got the ingredients but I'll have to guess on measurements. The mango upside down cake was explained to me, but it was more complicated than just mixing some things together, so I didn't quite grasp it, especially since I've never made an upside down cake on purpose. I'll have to ask again when I have a paper and pen, because it was divine.

So on Thursday I had a glorious feast and fun with a large loud family that I adore. I expected that Friday would just be a recovery day from all that eating, but it was my birthday. Aside from sleeping in late, yummy leftovers, and having a very peaceful day, I got a sweet phone call from grandson1 and my daughter and a balloon and a lovely maroon sweater from my ??? (you know, it's complicated).

Today its back to job hunting. But I hope that there are many more peaceful days ahead. Each day is looking better, more positive.

I Am Me by Virginia Satir

2013-09-05T12:00:00.000-07:00

I Am Me
In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me
Everything that comes out of me is authentically me
Because I alone chose it - I own everything about me
My body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,
Whether they be to others or to myself - I own my fantasies,
My dreams, my hopes, my fears - I own all my triumphs and
Successes, all my failures and mistakes Because I own all of
Me, I can become intimately acquainted with me - by so doing
I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts -I know
There are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other
Aspects that I do not know - but as long as I am
Friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously
And hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles
And for ways to find out more about me - However I
Look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever
I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically
Me - If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought
And felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is
Unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that
Which I discarded - I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be
Productive to make sense and order out of the world of
People and things outside of me - I own me, and
therefore I can engineer me - I am me and
I AM OKAY

(Virginia Satir 1975)

(American Psychologist and Educator, 1916-1988)

My Highs and Lows of the Past Month - DWC Day 30

2013-09-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

Lows:

Continued unemployment
Every un-payable bill that came through my mailbox
Family loss of an elderly cousin
Dogs breaking the gate and getting out when we're racing off to a baby shower.
Phone calls from creditors.
A friend getting upset with me for only doing Facebook invitations to the baby shower.
Fights with the boyfriend.
Eviction notice.

Highs:

Well done, successful baby shower for my daughter
Figured out what my boyfriend and I were really fighting about and made up
Discovery of the wonderful cleaning abilities of vinegar
When my phone flew off the roof of the car at 35 mph and survived!!!!
Helping my daughter prepare and decorate the bedroom for her and the kids.
Taco Bells Smothered Burrito
The car financier allowing a deferment for August's payment.
Callie and Mama kitty's kittens
Grandson2's healthy birth
Completing the 30 day writing challenge

Goals For the Next 30 Days - DWC Day 29

2013-09-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

I have the map from where I want to be in ten years. So logically, my goals for the next 30 days should somehow inch me closer to that Utopia. Also logically I should continue to set goals every 30 days to help me see where I've been and where I'm going.

Goals for the next 30 days:

Health and Well-being
- Plan 7 breakfasts that focus on fruits and vegetables as the center of the meal.
- Walk/exercise for ½ an hour every day.

Travel
- Plan the details of a trip just for myself.

Just for Fun
- Clean up and add to music selections on my phone and computer so I can have music wherever I go.

Spiritual Development
- Write out a daily ritual with time for me to think and review my life, and express prayers and gratitude.

Family and Relationships
- Make plans for Halloween. Think about traditions to keep for every Halloween.
- Plan activities for scheduled time with my lover, my children, and my grandchildren in the future when I have enough money to do the activities.
- Make a list of little ways to show My Love love everyday.

Environment
- Work daily on improving the house I live in now: clean, get rid of things, pack to move.
- Create a housework plan that includes the people that are at the house half-time.

Business
- Keep applying for standard jobs.
- Write every day.

Personal Development
- Continue to practice Spanish daily.

Something That I Miss - DWC Day 28

2013-09-02T00:42:00.000-07:00

I had to think hard here because I have kept many of my emotions about things lost to fire, breakage, and theft in check by assuring myself that it's people that are important, not things. Things can be replaced. Even expensive things can eventually be replaced. In the past year we have replaced a lost car and two lost computers. I still miss my guitar, my mother's Christmas ornaments and dishes (that aren't replaceable), and a bigger house that I could call my own. But on to today's subject...

I miss VCR's and all the uses of a VCR. (Admittedly I still have one that has to be cleaned after every two or three videos, but I wish I could get a new one and videos to go with it.) We could record shows and watch them a million times. We could record the news if something significant occurred or a commercial if we thought it was cute or fun or useful to teach with. The VCR was so easy for the toddler's to use and helped them learn basic shapes very quickly (the sticker has to be on top and push the triangle button. No, the square button stops your movie. Push the triangle button.) We didn't realize that DVD's were coming and have stacks of VHS tapes, great movies that we now overlook due to the inconvenience of no VCR or an antique VCR that won't play clearly. DVD's don't last very long, they get scratched, cracked and destroyed if left in the toddler's hands. I'm sure that there is some technology out there that would allow me to turn my old movies, home videos, and weeks of recordings of my soap opera and the mini-drama“V” into DVD's. But that gadget probably costs an arm and a leg and then what happens when DVD's are out and there is something new?

A Problem That I Have Had - DWC Day 27

2013-09-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

Problems, problems, problems... They can be numerous. They can also be minimized with a change in viewpoint. I think that the biggest consistent problem that I have had throughout my life is my (erroneous) belief that love and relationships are based on looks and that mine weren't good enough.

What I have come to finally learn is that for every body type there is someone who is attracted to it and that love is based on what you see inside someone since what you see outside will change.

Because of that incorrect viewpoint, I have struggled with my weight for most of my life, never realizing (before) that the reason to eat healthy and exercise is to be healthy and live better and has nothing to do with the number on a scale or the size of your pants but has everything to do with the quality of ones life.

What Kind of Person Attracts Me - DWC Day 26

2013-08-31T12:27:00.001-07:00

There are three ways that someone can attract me. Through their physical characteristics, their intelligence, and through their character. Physically, I like Hispanic men, tall and thin. I have a fairly low tolerance for people who don't use the brains that they were given. An education is fine, but intelligence is so much better. In their character, I appreciate someone who can find humor in life, is kind, views children as precious, and believes in the value of family.

Someone Who Fascinates Me and Why - DWC Day 25

2013-08-31T12:13:00.000-07:00

I took an extra day on this one because I couldn't figure out who fascinates me. My daughter and grand-kids fascinate me for where they came from and who they are becoming. My boyfriend fascinates me because he tries and he loves me which I find fascinating all by itself. But I think to really do this subject justice I'll have to go with someone famous. I have seen many public figures as fascinating. Some I have appreciated for their sheer beauty like Orlando Bloom or Marilyn Monroe. Some I have idolized for the life they were given and how they struggled to overcome such as Helen Keller and Anne Frank. Many people I follow for their physical talents like Mikhail Baryshnikov or Michael Phelps. But what I most appreciate in others is their minds. Brilliant people are in abundance throughout history (though the not so brilliant are in greater abundance): Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Leonardo Da Vinci, Benjamin Franklin, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates. The person who most fascinates me is Nikolai Tesla.

Nikola Tesla was born in 1856 in what is now Croatia and came to the U.S. In 1884. He worked briefly for Thomas Edison until their inventions became competitive. He was censored and controlled through poverty, the government, and through the interests of business moguls like J.P. Morgan.

Tesla invented alternating current (the standard of electrical power), how to harness and distribute light (including florescent bulbs, neon signs, ), the Tesla coil, x-rays, radio, remote control, the electric motor, robotics, the laser, wireless communications, and limitless free energy. Tesla had hundreds of patents and a multitude of other ideas and inventions that remain unreleased.

Tesla fascinates me for being a man of invention and a man of character who has changed the world for the better and could have done so much more for humanity if his ideas weren't held back.

For more information on Tesla and his genius (displayed and suppressed), please visit: Release Tesla Research and Tesla Universe

My Favorite Movie - DWC Day 24

2013-08-29T21:14:00.004-07:00

My favorite movie, among many favorites, is Family Man starring Nicholas Cage as Jack Campbell and Tea Leoni as Kate Reynolds. After college the couple has a plan that he will go work for a brokerage house in Europe and become a successful broker and promotion seeking business man while she pursues her law practice. But as life tends to do, he didn't stay connected to her and continued on with his life being successful and keeping relationships contained to sexual encounters.

On Christmas Eve, Jack decides to walk home from the office and stops off to buy some eggnog. While he is in the store a man enters to cash in a winning lottery ticket. The cashier refuses claiming that the guy falsified the ticket. The guy pulls a gun and tries to force the matter. Jack offers to pay the guy for the lottery ticket himself. The guy takes the deal and walks out with Jack. The guy goes on and on about how the higher ups are impressed with Jack's behavior. As they walk, Jack suggests that the guy get some help and go to a shelter and says something about “Everybody wants something.” The guy stops Jack and says”Remember that you asked for this.” and walks away.

Jack goes home and and finishes the evening with a lovely lady and lays down to go to sleep alone. He wakes up in another bed entirely with a woman, Kate, telling him to go make some very strong coffee, a preschooler jumping on the bed and hollering, and a screaming baby. He makes a run for it and drives back to his penthouse in the city where the doorman won't let him in and his office where they no longer know his name. The lottery ticket guy shows up in Jack's Ferrari and explains to Jack that this is a “glimpse.”

He heads back to the suburbs and is found by someone who is a close friend in this strange parallel universe. His friend thinks that Jack is having a nervous breakdown and advises him not to make a decision about anything just because he is a little confused right now (good advice). His friend guides him back to the correct house where he gets scolded by Kate for missing Christmas with her and the kids. He explains to her that this isn't his life and like any wife would, she takes it personally. Over time he gets to know and love his wife and two children and begins to understand how they got to this place in their lives where he is selling tires and she is a nonprofit lawyer. Then suddenly he is sent back to his real life.

He goes to find Kate who is a strong career woman high up in a law firm that is sending her to work in Paris. He talks her into missing her flight and tells her all about their kids and their life and tries to convince her of what they lost when he chose not to return all those years before.

I like this movie because it shows that its never too late.

Five Famous Men that I Find Attractive and Why - DWC Day 23

2013-08-28T12:00:00.000-07:00

The people that we watch on television and in movies are, for the most part, the beautiful people. They are ideals, physical beauties and mysteries. They are people that we want to know for their looks and can never know except through the magic of media. I find these particular men attractive for the roles that they have played and how those roles made me feel, the angles of their faces, their dark hair, and the polished looks that they (or their publicists) give the public. They may not be anything like what I look for in a partner, but they sure are nice to look at.

Hugh Jackman

Johnny Depp

Jonathan Bennett

Matt Bomer

Orlando Bloom

How I Have Changed In the Past Two Years - DWC Day 22

2013-08-27T20:34:00.001-07:00

In general I have trouble with change. I understand that change is valuable and necessary, but I struggle with implementing my plans for change. There are many changes that I would like to begin in my life.

In the past two years I have gotten control of what I think about my career of 14 years. I have realized that teaching may be an important (yet underappreciated) career that is best suited for specific personalities. And my personality isn't one of them. I loved planning my lessons and reaching struggling students. Every other part of teaching was painful for me. So I'm hunting to find a different niche for myself.

Also in the past two years I have learned how to be in a long term relationship. I am genetically wired for fidelity, so that wasn't the issue. I just didn't understand the dedication to the relationship even when I might be upset with the other person. I'm still learning.

One of My Favorite Shows - DWC Day 21

2013-08-26T21:57:00.001-07:00

My favorite show is House M.D. I have all 8 seasons on DVD. Since I don't have cable, I just watch one DVD after another in order. I often work at home or fall asleep to the dulcet tones of Greg House saying that "Everyone lies!" and "It's never Lupus."

I think that the main reason I like the show is that I was born without the Jerk Gene. So it's very important to me to study and attempt to emulate confident and capable jerks. It keeps me from being a constant doormat to the whims of the rest of the world. Also see Seven Lessons Women Can Learn From House.

I admit that it also fascinates me that House is a high functioning addict. In some seasons he is popping Vicodin constantly. In other seasons he is having hallucinations from the overuse of the pills or is detoxing or is clean. The addiction cycle interests me.

The medical side of the show draws me to it as well. I like to know the names of medical conditions and medications and their uses. Most of it isn't good ethical medicine, but it's neat to see someone push the limits to find cures.

My favorite episode, One Day, One Room (Season 3, Episode 12) is about a girl who was raped and comes into the clinic to get checked for an STD. She only trusts House, though neither of them know why, and they go through some deep talking about a side of House that we don't usually see. At one very deep point we find out about the name of the episode when the girl tells House that life is a series of rooms and the time we spend with the people in those rooms are the only things that matter.

How Important I Think Education Is - DWC Day 20

2013-08-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

To answer the question of how important I think education is, I'm going to tell you a short true story.

My grandfather, who was born and raised in the second decade of the 1900's, dropped out of school when he was in 8^th grade. As the eldest he had to go to work to help support the rest of the family. But he knew something that lots of college educated people don't seem to know, “Anything that you want to learn can be found in a book.” He needed to replace the engine in his truck, so he found a book and did it. When he retired, he needed a hobby, so he found plenty of books on jewelry making and how to pan for gold and bread making. And because he didn't have that silly piece of paper to show that he finished high school, he thought he was dumb. In reality, the fact that he was intelligent enough to find the answers meant that he was probably gifted.

Now today with the internet at hand, finding answers is as easy as finding Google. With answers on the internet, you have to have the sense to use the strength of your mind to wade through and weed out useless or erroneous information. Cross checking your facts is a clever practice.

Yes, education is important. Using our minds is incredibly important. Institutions of learning and homeschooling parents sometimes hit the mark, and sometimes they miss it. The only way to learn the things you truly want to know about is your own drive to find information, discovery of the ways that it can and can't be done, attempts at doing it their way, imaginings of if there is a better way, and attempts at doing it your way. You only die when you stop being able to learn.

Disrespecting My Parents - DWC Day 19

2013-08-24T12:00:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how I could disrespect my parents here without expressing a great deal of disrespect for myself. I think that my parents tried to do the best that they could with my brother and me. They taught me to think for myself. They didn't have much growing up and had working parent's guilt, so they showered me with things. They encouraged us to read and the content wasn't usually censored, as long as we would read it, they would buy it. They took us on family vacations that always included a museum. Mistakes or misbehavior meant a long discussion, not a beating or punishment. They were kind, intelligent, and generous.

If the request here is to pick out where they failed, I suppose there are a few ways... They should have taught me the value of a dollar better. If I had known that one has to work for everything in life I might not have struggled so much when I left home. They should have argued in front of me so that I would know how to disagree with someone that I care about without destroying the relationship in the process. They should have taught me that daily routines help us complete menial tasks that have to be finished for day to day and long term functionality. They should have taught me that family comes before anything. They should have made me turn off the Atari or the TV and get some exercise or at least a hobby. They should have encouraged me to be more involved with friends and public activities so that I wouldn't have been such a hermit.

I know from my own experience as a parent and from parenting classes that I have taken that unless one goes out of their way to learn a new way of parenting that everyone parents the same way that the previous generation did. Therefore, if no one in your family has every tried to educate themselves in a better way of parenting, then they are probably parenting the same way your caveman ancestors did. I know that my parents were college educated people that took classes about child psychology and child development. I know that they tried to do the best that they could. But all parents make mistakes.

My Beliefs - DWC Day 18

2013-08-23T12:00:00.000-07:00

Today's blog is a little more difficult to write because there are so many areas of our lives that one can have beliefs about. I've told you my beliefs about religion, suicide, and music. I have an upcoming blog about education. So I'll stay away from those subjects... I believe in refrigerators, running water, and air conditioning. I believe that most people are not beautiful outside, therefore we have clothes to cover some of it up. I believe that somewhere out there must be life on another planet. I believe that pollution will be the death of the Earth. I believe that if I had to hunt for my own food that I would be a vegetarian. I believe that everyone should have to have counseling throughout high school so that they can start their adult lives with a clean slate. So many little beliefs. Here are three things that I believe in strongly:

Pets – Pets are your children that never grow up and move out.

Pets are a commitment. I often see people get a pet because it's small, cute, and fluffy and then it behaves like an animal and pees on the carpet or grows a little and out it goes into the cold where the coyotes can eat it. My friends get frustrated with me because we need to find a new home, but most places won't rent to someone with pets and we have two big dogs. My friends think that I should just get rid of the dogs and move on without them. Aside from the fact that I've had these dogs for a really long time and now they are senior citizens, I believe in my heart that they are part of our family. I wouldn't just send my grandson to some farm or release him to the cruel streets or have him put down because he was too expensive or we couldn't find somewhere to live because of him. So how could I do that to my dogs or cats. Like our children, pets are a commitment, not just in money or the time one spends with them, but also for their lifetime.

Children – Choose your children as a priority or give them to someone who will.

Despite bumper stickers that say “It's not a choice, it's a child.” I believe that having and raising children is a choice. If you aren't ready and willing to have and responsibly raise your children, then don't have them. I'm not talking about financial responsibility, there are lots of lovely people that I know that were raised in poverty but are still wonderful people that the world would be a sadder place without. If you accidentally get pregnant, decide...are you going to become responsible or give your child to someone who does want the responsibility or do something else. (I'm not going to give my opinions for or against abortion today.) Too many people have children because...well, pregnancy happens...and then they do little or nothing to help make their child's life better or to show their child how this world works. If you choose to have a child (or more than one) then it is your responsibility to protect them from violence and abuse and to teach them cleanliness, manners, respect for themselves and others, integrity, and how to find answers. These are the things necessary to function intelligently in society. No they aren't all easily taught. They are best taught through your good example and reinforcement of their good behavior. And the hardest work is in the early years, because personality is fully formed by age 5.

My 10 Priorities As A Mother

Relationships – The grass isn't always greener.

A relationship is going to be difficult no matter who it's with. Unless the relationship is abusive or destructive, we all should commit to the relationship that we have and keep going. There are always going to be those difficult relatives or money problems or differences of opinion. There are always going to be weird behaviors or habits. There will always be something that you or the other person is insecure about. Leaving the relationship might eliminate one set of problems, but then you get in a new relationship and there are just as many similar issues. As long as you both care for each other, then you might as well keep trying and keep working things out with the one that you're with.

My Highs and Lows This Past Year - DWC Day 17

2013-08-22T12:00:00.000-07:00

Lows:

Unemployment
Every unpayable bill that came through my mailbox.
My boyfriend moving out.
My grandmother's death.
Trying my hardest to make my job work and still failing.
My daughter's bicycle accident.
Change in relationship status to “Completely Lost”

Highs:

The times spent having fun with family and friends, such as holidays and parties.
Boyfriend starting back to school for a career.
Replacing my daughters computer that was stolen.
Replacing my computer that was stolen.
Planning how to live my life now that the career that I had is over.
My daughter getting a car (with a little help from me).
My daughter getting a free consultation with a very expensive immigration lawyer.

My Views on Music - DWC Day 16

2013-08-21T12:00:00.000-07:00

My views on music are broad and varied. When I choose music to listen to I usually go with what is publicly popular on the radio. I especially like The Band Perry, Christina Aguilera, Katy Perry, the Black Eyed Peas, Kerli, Britney Spears, La Roux, Adele, Bruno Mars, Lady Gaga, Alexis Jordan, LeAnn Rimes, The Fray, Linkin Park, Alicia Keys, Natasha Bedingfield, Imagine Dragons, Nickelback, Anna Nalick, Nelly Furtado, Jason Derulo, Pink, Timbaland, Zedd&Foxes, Shakira, and Justin Timberlake. I'm not a big fan of rap, the predominance of sex and violence portrayed is not fulfilling to my ears, but I do like Eminem because he is a gifted word master. I don't often choose to listen to country music, but I do like assorted songs by Tim McGraw and many others. I can enjoy classical music, but don't choose to listen to it unless I have to study. I can't stand polka music or much of anything with a banjo or bagpipes. In general, I like Mexican music, especially listening to someone that I know when they sing it. I only want to hear Rancheras if someone is going to take me dancing to it, otherwise it's about as annoying to me as polka music is (again, unless a cutie is singing it to me). I do like modern Mexican music and can listen to it the same as I would North American radio music and often surprise myself by knowing the words. I have had times in my life where I enjoyed listening to Enya and Yanni. They're great to put the kids to sleep and to relax your mind. In general, I really appreciate songs that lift ones spirits or tell a story.

My Favorite Pages and People on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, etc - DWC Day 15

2013-08-20T12:00:00.000-07:00

There are so many social sites now. Here are a few of my favorite people and pages on the sites that I am connected to:

Facebook:
Existing Actuality
Didyouknow
Watermelon
Weird world
Quotes for you

Google+:
Lifescript - Women's Health
Gary Crowley
Google in Education
Lotay Yang

Blogger:
Tudor City Girl
The Real Mr. Fitz
The Parsimonious Princess
In a Creative Bubble

Pinterest:
Yolda Infante
Chantel C.
sdr mld
iVillage
Venita Offutt

Twitter:
Spiritual Truths
Facts Guide
Friendship
Soulseeds
Iconic88

YouTube:
Household Hacker
Kipkay
MadV
tc8008
QuantumIQC
Ashley Hutzel

I'm on a few others...StumbleUpon, Pearltrees, etc. But I don't visit them enough to have favorites.

My Earliest Memory - DWC Day 14

2013-08-19T12:00:00.000-07:00

In my earliest memory, I am about 3 or 4 years old. My father had acquired a kit full of magic tricks. My brother and father talked about all the different tricks. They tried to successfully perform some of the tricks. There was a mummy in a box trick. There was a disappearing ball trick. But what stands out in my memory are the little yellow foam bunnies. The bunnies could be smushed into tiny balls to hide between your fingers so the bunnies would multiply. Being a little kid, I just enjoyed getting handfuls of little squishy yellow bunnies.

Somewhere That I'd Like to Move or Visit - DWC Day 13

2013-08-18T12:00:00.000-07:00

I have a bucket list that I'll share at some point in the future. Included in my list are hopes to travel to Chichen Itza (Mexico), Alaska, New York, Denmark, and Greece. More recently a new exotic location has begun to draw my attention, Dubai in the United Arab Emirates on the southeast coast of the Persian Gulf. Each new photo or bit of information has astounded me. It is an architectural marvel with skyscrapers in every shape and enormous height. The city is filled with places to go, things to do, restaurants to enjoy. There is an indoor aquarium at the mall. There are indoor places to ski. There is the glorious miles of beach. That would be an amazing trip to plan and work to fulfill.

Bullet Your Day - DWC Day 12

2013-08-17T12:00:00.000-07:00

I apologize up front for how boring this particular blog will be.

Send boyfriend a “Good Morning” text.
Answer phone call from daughter.
Crawl out of bed.
Go outside to see the new litter of kittens that our “stray” cat had this morning.
Attempt to text photo of kittens to daughter.
Discover that Sprint is working below its usual low standard today.
- Begin today's battle with Sprint to use the internet and text on my phone.
Eat daughter's leftover doughnuts from yesterday.
Put Lilo and Stitch on for grandson1.
Get dressed and ready to go.
Go with daughter to work.
Text boyfriend to see how his day has been going.
Go to McDonald's to use WiFi while grandson1 plays.
- Check in with Blogger.
  - Post about new blog post to Google+, Twitter, and Facebook.
- Check in with Google+.
  - Be disappointed that there are no comments on my blog.
- Check in with Facebook.
- Check email.
  - Check to see if Freedompop answered my email.
    - Yay, question answered!
  - Check and empty “Social Networks” email folder.
- Check in with Pinterest.
- Eat a Big Mac so I can get the Monopoly game pieces from the box.
- Enter McDonald’s Monopoly codes online.
- Enter Coke bottle cap codes online.
Hunt for grandson1's shoes that have disappeared at the McDonald's Play Place.
Text boyfriend to make plans for the weekend (fail).
Head to Walmart for replacement shoes for grandson1, pretzel chips, poster tape, and toilet paper.
- Forgot the toilet paper.
- Got pissed off at a rude woman who cut in front of us in the 20 items or less lane and the smelly man behind us who stood too close and kept talking to grandson1.
Hang out with grandson1 and watch Lilo and Stitch.
Text boyfriend about our day.
Eat pretzel chips and hummus.
Serve daughter milk.
Clean grandson1's shoes.
Carry grandson1 to the car.
Start a load of laundry.
Fill and start dishwasher.
Feed the dogs and cats.
- Treat dogs health issues.
Take down the dry laundry.
Hang wet laundry.
Put up new hooks in daughter's room for her bath towel and grandson2's bath towel.
Get everything ready to go to bed.
- Cold bottle of water, backpack with computer, cellphone, cellphone charger, fan.
- Turn on House, M.D.
- Put on pajamas.
- Take out contacts, wash face, brush teeth.
- Write things to do reminders on the mirror for tomorrow.
Get out computer and write until my eyes won't stay open any longer.

O what a fun filled day! :-P