Just a Substitute Teacher.....

Science Fair...

2013-05-20T18:47:00.000-07:00

It is science fair season and it seems that every student in every grade in every elementary school has an entry.

The lesson plan indicated the time to take the 4^th graders to tour the science fair exhibits set up in the cafeteria. At the appointed time, I escorted the group over as instructed. I lead them up and down each isle so they could view the dozens and dozens of demonstrations of "science".

We had Solar System models constructed of Styrofoam, sticks and glue, the potato or lemon powered lamps, the flower sucking colored water demonstrations, tornado in a bottle, volcano models and....Something new I did not recognize. The exhibit indicated it was a model of something called a "Gaussian Gun".

Two wooden dowels glued together to make a track, magnets spaced and glued at three intervals and some steel marbles mounted along the track between the magnets. Like me, the kids were curious about what it was and how it worked.

Curious, I picked up one of the marbles to see how heavy it was and put it back on the rail. Before I could react fast enough, the marble rolled and accelerated down the track, hit the first magnet and before I knew what was happening, a chain reaction of steel marbles and magnets shot the last marble off the end and hit one of the boys in the leg!

Thankfully, the boy was unhurt but...really?

That thing is downright dangerous!

Tall Tales...

2013-05-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

I had an assignment in a 2nd grade classroom at the country club school. Of course, one of the first questions I get on a day when I come is usually: "Where did Mr/Ms Teacher go and when will he/she be back?"

This is my opening for an icebreaker and a demonstration that I am not as scary as I look. I will usually respond with some outrageously unbelievable retort like: "Ms Teacher had to attend race car driving school this morning and it's her turn on the track. She'll be in tomorrow and you can ask her all about it." Most kids "get" that I have made up an obviously silly answer instead of the standard "I don't know" response.

(...Some of the teachers I have subbed for comment that they look forward to hearing what they were supposedly doing while they were away.)

Students will sometimes try to "turn the tables" and try one of their own on the substitute teacher. Second graders usually aren't good enough to make it believable but it's fun to hear what they come up with.

Laura is an exception. The lesson plan says that she is a recent arrival from a private school across town and might have difficulties with some of the math they are currently doing in class.

While the rest of the kids are plowing through the math pages on their own, I work with Laura. As we're working, Laura tells me that she's new in this school as they just moved into the country club.

Yep, that sounds right. Even though this is a public school, I know the developer donated the land and built the school with the express stipulation that school enrollment be reserved primarily for the kids of parents living in the country club. From what I can see, it pretty much is.

Laura tells me that her family bought the biggest house at the top of the hill in the country club. They have a big pool and playground. Her dad is a musician and she has three brothers.

Sounds plausible.

L: We're going to see my grandma this weekend on the family farm.

Me: Sounds like a nice drive.

...There are many farms and vineyards about an hour's drive south of here.

L: No, it's too far to drive. We're flying.

Me: Oh, so you have to get up early to get to the airport?

...The grandparents must be out of state.

L: No, we have our own plane. My dad's a pilot.

Me: Wow, that must be fun.

...Six passenger private plane! Impressive!

L: It's a jet. It used to belong to my grandparents but they passed it on to my Dad.

Hmmm...Lear jet? Ok, family money. Lots of it.

L: It's been in our family for generations--since WWII!!

Ok, she got me. Got me good.

At this point I suppose I should have pointed out that Germany had the only jet powered aircraft in the world during WWII and it was dicey for even the single seat pilot to land the thing.

The teacher came in at the end of the day to see how my day went. I related how Laura had me going. The teacher laughed and then confided, "Did she also tell you that she has seven toes on her left foot?"

I Made a 1st Grader Cry

2013-04-16T18:29:00.000-07:00

I didn't do it on purpose, honest!

It was supposed to be an easy half-day afternoon assignment in a 1^st grade class.

The teacher had several math related worksheets they were supposed to complete involving counting coins to equal a certain value. The only materials required were red and green crayons to color the correct coins. Most of the kids were busy starting the assignment when I heard a disturbance on the other side of the room.

"He ripped my paper!!"

It seems that one boy could not find the right worksheet on his desk and decided to take one from someone else's desk. Of course, that resulted in a tugging match between the worksheet owner and the thief.

I gave the little girl an extra worksheet and escorted "little thief" back to his desk where I pointed out that peeking out from under three papers on his desk was the worksheet he couldn't find.

A bit later it was: "He took my red!!"

It seems that "LT" couldn't find his crayons, so he was "borrowing" crayons without asking from inattentive classmates. Returning the crayons to the rightful owners, I escorted "LT" back to his desk and asked where his crayons were.

LT: I lost them

Me: Did you look in your desk?

LT: I looked, they aren't in there.

I see that his desk it totally jammed with books, papers bits of pencils, toys and junk.

Me: Maybe they are way in the back under all that stuff in your desk

LT: I looked, they aren't in there. (a bit louder than I cared for)

Me: Let's check again. Let's take everything out and put it on top of your desk to check.

LT: I did and they aren't in there!

Me: Let's do it again.

LT is reluctant but since I not moving away, he doesn't have a choice. Out comes all his hard books, all his soft cover practice books, some small stuffed animals and...a large box of 48 crayons.

Me: Well, it looks like we found your crayons. Now you can start the coins worksheet.

LT: I don't have red.

Me: Open the box and let's check, ok?

He opens the box and it contains at least three different shades of red crayons.

Me: Pick one of those and use it

LT: (In a loud whiney voice) IT'S NOT RED!!

At this point, I have pretty much exhausted what patience remained. I selected one of the reds and one of the greenish colored crayons, and instructed LT to quit stalling.

"Sit down and get to work. No more delays and no more taking stuff that isn't yours!"

A bit later while monitoring the rest of the class and checking every now and then that LT was at least not bothering anyone else, one little girl approaches to tell me that LT is crying.

I left a note for the teacher that LT had a hard day today and some tears were shed.

I talked with the teacher a few days later and she told me that it happens a lot with LT.

Miss Nelson is Missing (video)

2013-04-15T17:26:00.000-07:00

You've read the book, now see the video...

J.R.R. Tolkien's DVD Giveaway!

2013-04-07T18:31:00.000-07:00

In a first for JAST, I am hosting a 2nd DVD giveaway this month...

Update: 4/7/2013 The winner is Stephanie!!

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey coming to Blu-ray & DVD March 19th 2013!

J.R.R. Tolkien’s epic adventure follows the journey of Bilbo Baggins, who is swept into an amazing quest to reclaim the lost Dwarf Kingdom of Erebor from the fearsome dragon Smaug. Approached out of the blue by the wizard Gandalf the Grey, Bilbo finds himself joining a company of thirteen dwarves led by the legendary warrior, Thorin Oakenshield. Their journey will take them into the Wild; through treacherous lands swarming with Goblins and Orcs, deadly Wargs and Sorcerers.

From Academy Award®-winning filmmaker Peter Jackson comes “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey,” the first of a trilogy of films adapting the endearingly popular masterpiece The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien.

One winner till receive a copy of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Blu-ray Combo Pack! The deadline to enter is April 5!!

• Are You 100% Hobbit Quiz! What has a tendency to be very brave, is around 4 ft. tall with sharp eyesight, little to no facial hair, and loves cake? If you thought we were talking about you, then you might be a Hobbit Indeed! Take the quiz to find out just how much of a Hobbit you are!

• Creatures of Middle-earth! Hobbits, Elves and Dwarves are just a few of the magical creatures that call Middle-earth home. Check out vital stats and unique features about each one!

• The Hobbit Handbook! Our Hobbit Handbook includes everything you need to throw the best viewing party in Middle-earth right at home!

Are You 100% Hobbit?

Just take the "Are You 100% Hobbit Quiz" and post your results in the comments section
-- or --
Post your favorite Hobbit Handbook activity in the comments section to this post and you are entered in the contest giveaway for one Blu-ray combo pack of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey .

Either way you're IN!
ONLY ONE entry per person please. Let's let everyone have an equal opportunity to win...

The deadline to enter is April 5!!

The drawing will be held on April 6. and winner will be posted here. The prize will be sent via FedEx or UPS. No P.O. Boxes please.

The winner will be required to supply a mailing address sent to KauaiMark@gmail.com on or before 4-9-2013.

Ready For the Truth?

2013-04-01T18:47:00.000-07:00

The day before Easter, our 8yr old granddaughter Paige told her Mom that she had an important question to ask. She wanted to know the truth about the Easter Bunny & Santa Claus. Are they real or not?

Loss of childhood innocence is one of the hardest for most of us parents to endure but we all must confront it eventually. I know it was for me, 30+yrs ago, when our 5yr old son "wanted to know".

Unfortunately, for me he could not keep such an important secret to himself. He blabbed it to his younger sister and cousins. That singular childhood memory prepared our daughter to handle the situation much more carefully than I did.

J: Ok, but before I tell, you have to promise to keep it a secret and not tell anyone else. Not your brother, your cousins, not any kids at school, nobody. Ok?

J: Now, are you sure you really, really want me to tell you?

P: Yes! I really, really want to know the truth.

Paige's response after learning "the truth":

"I'm going to go to bed now and I hope I forget everything you just told me!!".

Time for another giveaway - Return to Nim's Island

2013-03-26T18:31:00.000-07:00

...and the drawing winner is:...Dawn (aka: mummytotwoboys) from Riverbank,Calif

Premiering March 15th on Hallmark Channel!!!

Return to Nim’s Island, the sequel to Walden Media’s 2008 box office hit Nim’'s Island, picks up the story a few years later with 14-year-old Nim (Bindi Irwin) more determined than ever to protect her island and the animals that call it home. With ruthless resort developers and greedy wildlife poachers threatening the existence she loves, Nim realizes she and her animal pals can’t defend their home alone. To save her island, she is forced to combine forces with an outsider: Edmund, a runaway from the mainland. Only with his help does she stand a chance of stopping the villains from dismantling her world.

Return to Nim'’s Island marks the debut of Walden Family Theater, presented by Walmart and P&G. The new destination for family entertainment, exclusively on Hallmark Channel.

ALSO... Return to Nim’s Island star Bindi Irwin will be doing a Live Twitter Q&A on Saturday March 9th at 6pm EST/3pm PST! Let your audience know that this is their chance to connect with Bindi! Bindi will be collecting questions to answer on Saturday so start asking away, just remember to tag your question to Bindi with #nimsislandchat!

PLUS! You can pick up your copy of Return to Nim’s Island on Blu-ray & DVD exclusively at Walmart Stores just 4 days after the premiere.

JAST is hosting this giveaway for one lucky winner to receive "Return to Nim’'s Island" Blu-ray Combo Pack!

Discover Which Adventurer You Are Quiz! Whether you’re a fearless explorer, a precocious castaway or an unexpected hero, Nim'’s Island is an adventurer’s paradise. Take the quiz to find out which Nim’ adventurer you are!
Then post your results from the "Discover Which Adventurer You Are" Quiz in the comments section of this blog post and be automatically entered.
If you are the lucky winner, you will receive a "Return to Nim’'s Island" Blu-ray Combo Pack! Deadline to enter is March 25, 2013.
Check back here on March 26 to see if you are the winner. I will need your mailing address to deliver your prize. The prize will be sent via FedEx or UPS. No P.O. Boxes please.

7 Awesome Family Activities! You don’t have to travel to an exotic island or faraway land because, adventures happen everywhere! Download and share these awesome family adventures that will transport you all to your next, unforgettable journey.

Postcard from Nim’'s Island! Postcards from a faraway island! Share these funny postcards from Nim’'s Island with your friends and family!

Get Social! Tweet with the #ReturnToNimsIsland hashtag to get your audience excited about the premiere on Hallmark Channel March 15th at 8/7C!

Substitute Teacher Tip of the Day - Parking...

2013-03-16T19:08:00.000-07:00

When deciding where to park your car in the school lot, do not park any closer than two spaces from any light pole.

Seagulls start congregating on the light poles about an hour before lunch knowing that kids will be out soon, leaving dropped snacks for them when class resumes.

In the meantime, they are dumping on the four nearest cars below their favorite school lot roost.

Kid Communication

2013-03-05T18:34:00.001-08:00

How to communicate with your kids so they listen....

...and...

Can I Take My Break Now?

2013-02-27T19:20:00.000-08:00

I would have thought that after almost 10yrs working as a substitute teacher I would have heard every known excuse to spend a few extra minutes away from the classroom outside of the scheduled lunch and recess breaks. The need to use the bathroom or see the nurse is usually the most common. I am moderately lenient to most requests but they need to give me a creditable reason.

So what should I make of a fifth grader's request: "Can I take my break now?"

I'm thinking, that's one I hadn't heard before. I check the lesson plan notes and there isn't anything about "special needs" for anyone in class but this was a late assignment in that I didn't get the call until about 9:30am this morning.

He's not struggling with the class work. If anything, he's already ahead of the class and bored that the rest of the class hasn't caught up yet.

I need more information.

Me: Why do you need a break? Didn't we just get back from lunch a short time ago?

Kid: I get a break when I need it.

Me: Why do you get a break? Are you on some kind of medication that requires rest? Are you supposed to go see a school specialist during break? Are you stressed?

Kid: I get to have a break every day whenever I need one.

I'm thinking this kid is yanking my chain. The class has been pretty good, working the lessons, cooperative, friendly and mellow. I'm having a good time and can't see why this kid could be "stressed". So, I push a bit farther.

Me: Where do you take these breaks and what do you do?

Kid: Sometimes I just sit on the bench outside, sometimes I run around the track.

Me: The school allows you to run on the track unsupervised during class time? I don't think so.

Kid: Yea, they do, so can I go?

Now, I sure he's yanking my chain and I decide to call his bluff.

Me: I can't let you go outside the classroom unsupervised because I'll get fired. Why don't I call down to the office and have someone come here to go out with you for your "break"? What do you think?

(I'm pretty sure the last thing this kid wants is an audience with the principal trying to explain why he's giving me this C***&Bull story just because his teacher is out of the room. I'm pretty sure he will discover his need for a "break" at this time has suddenly passed and decline my generous offer for a supervised break.)

Kid: (shrugs his shoulders) OK!

Me: You sure?

Kid: Yea, I need a break.

I make the call, and to my amazement, they don't hesitate to have me send him down!

Now who's looking incredibly perplexed?

Shorted Paycheck...

2013-02-18T16:13:00.000-08:00

Subbing is the only job I have had where I had to check each and every paycheck for accuracy.

It shouldn't be that hard as we aren't paid "by the hour", we don't punch a time clock, we don't get overtime or vacation pay. We get paid the same daily rate per assignment worked.

In the early years, the daily assignment lists were manually transcribed from each school to the district office in the form of login sheets to for processing. Most of the time, the paycheck was correct. Unless you documented every assignment number and date, you had little chance of proving they shorted your paycheck.

The districts I worked for never erred on "over payment".

Starting a few years ago, one of the advertized benefits of going from the "manual" substitute assignment process to the SmartFinder automated system, was accurate accounting. Since the switchover three years ago, I detected no errors in my paycheck...until last Friday.

My Day-Timer log said they missed paying me for one half-day assignment. The SmartFinder online "assignment review" page for last month indicated the same thing.

That can mean only one thing.

The assignment computer is not passing data directly to the district payroll computers. There must be a "person" transcribing and counting assignments days in the middle of the payroll process.

So much for advertised accuracy.

(Heading down to the district office tomorrow...)

Numerators & Denominators

2013-02-10T17:00:00.000-08:00

One of the hardest concepts about fractions for students to remember is the terminology of fractions. The most common question I get is "Which one is on top, the numerator or denominator?"

Why it's important to know the nomenclature of fractions isn't as critical as knowing what the numbers on the top (how many parts you have) and bottom (total same sized parts) represent. However, since it probably comes up on the test, students probably should learn it.

When the question is asked, my usual response is: "Denominator starts with the letter "d" and so does the word "down". The other one is the numerator since I can't think of a word for the top part that starts with "n".

So it was in a 4th grade class studying fractions that I asked: Does everyone know what the top and bottom parts of a fraction are called?

All (in sing/song voice): "denominator starts with "d" and so does the word "down". nominator starts with 'n' which looks like an an upside-down "u" that stands for "up".

Me: "Wow, that's pretty good! Where did you guys learn that from?"

Dude in front: "You taught us the first part last time you were here and our teacher liked it and came up with the second part".

I am totally going to steal that for the next time this topic comes up.

If you found this post searching for why they are called the denominator and numerator, Ask Dr. Math does a pretty good job of it.

Fifteen Subs...

2013-02-04T15:33:00.000-08:00

When I started subbing, I took pretty much took any assignment that was offered. After all, the school district paid the same daily rate for all schools and any grade levels. School district officials like to pretend that everything is equal but reality is quite different.

Some schools have no problems filling substitute positions while others go begging for anyone willing to show up for an assignment. The reason for this disparity pretty much comes down to one reason.

School culture at some schools is very low on classroom behavior. It's mentally exhausting trying to accomplish anything on a lesson plan.

Three or four of the eighteen in this district keep me regularly busy enough to avoid an expected disaster elsewhere. Substitute teacher daily pay should be a sliding scale based on the degree of difficulty to remain sane by the end of the day.

That said, after 9+ years subbing, every now and again, I get curious to see if anything has changed around the district.

Last Wednesday night I saw three online postings for roving substitutes at a notoriously poor performing school in the district. This school is at the top of my scale for the stress inflicted. That alone is usually be enough for me to pass on it, but this assignment is only four hours instead of the usual six.

Half-day assignments are listed as 3.5 hrs. Anything over is considered a "full day". This meant that today would be a shorter day with full pay and probably not too much time in any single classroom.

Starting this year, the school changed from a standard subjects-based curriculum to a new projects-based curriculum. All but six of last year's teachers had been rotated out to other schools and replaced with high achieving, volunteer teachers from other parts of the district. The incoming teachers had to apply, interview and train for each position.

I was curious to see if the changes made any difference on my current negative bias.

Thursday morning was a mad house checking in at the school office. There were 15 subs checking in that morning. Each of us were called in as "roving subs" to cover two hours for two teachers spread over all grade levels that day. The regular teachers were in training seminars for the new teaching curriculum.

I had one 3^rd grade assignment and one Kinder assignment to re-evaluate this current working environment.

At the end of the day, as the mob of substitutes were leaving the building, the ones I talked with were all pretty much in agreement about classroom behavior.

They still don't pay us enough to work here.

Three...Two...One...

2013-01-16T17:22:00.001-08:00

Three classes at two schools in one day?

That was not the intent when I took a half-day 4th grade assignment yesterday.

When I started substituting nine years ago, I took any assignment at any grade level. Over time, I gradually discovered which schools and which teachers seem to have better control on the classroom environment. By "classroom environment", I mean classroom discipline. By classroom discipline, I mean the general behavior of students. My experience with this particular school has rarely been positive. Nevertheless, every so often, I will take an assignment just to see if my bias should remain unchanged.

That the assignment was for a half day helped sway my decision to take it. If the class was as I expected, I'd be out of there before lunch and not have to endure another three hours.

Let's just say that my bias is still validated for at least another year. The teacher arrived at 11:30am to take over. I was honest with him and he wasn't surprised. He's having much the same control issues with this class.

As I was checking out, the district office called to see if I could take an afternoon assignment in P.E. at the middle school. Since it was on my way home and I hadn't had any assignments at the middle school all year, I agreed.

It was not much of an assignment as all I had to do was take roll call for 5^th period, hand out locker assignments and P.E. schedules. The P.E. teacher unexpectedly returned for his 6^th period class.

After three hours of utter chaos with 4^th graders this morning, a one hour assignment was just what I needed to balance out what started out to be a pretty crappy day. That was until I went back to the office to check out.

There, the office decided to have me take over the combined 7^th& 8^th grade ELD (English Language Development) class for the last period of the day.

I'm not sure what qualifies a student to be dumped into ELD as I could identify only two actual students that were not fluent with the English language. The other seventeen seemed completely fluent as they demonstrated by doing nothing but complain in colorful English the whole 50mins.

Adding ELD classes to my "not preferred any time soon" list.

Easing Back Into Routine...

2013-01-09T21:18:00.000-08:00

The first week(s) after a long break can be unpredictable when it comes to class discipline issues. In some classes, it takes a week or two to get back into the rhythm of the classroom and expected student behavior. Sometimes you get lucky and they come back enthused about school.

School resumed Monday (1/7) after the two week Christmas break. I worked Monday (3^rd grade) and again today (5^th grade). In both instances, I had absolutely no discipline or behavior issues.

The 3^rd graders made me laugh And I had a lot of fun.

The 5^th graders didn't really need me to be there today. The teacher has them pretty well self-motivated to run the class with minimal help from an adult. Class officers do the morning accounting of attendance, lunch count and homework checking. Various class officers are trained and eager to run parts of the teacher's lesson plan involving the daily work assignments.

My involvement today was limited to giving a spelling test and explaining a few of the word problems in Math.

All in all, a great start for 2013!

CTA & WTC

2013-01-02T18:32:00.000-08:00

School starts up next week and it's been a little more than a month since I last posted something relevant to the main topic of this blog so I thought it was time to get back on track.

The school district I work for does not have any mandated or even voluntary requirement that I belong to CTA Union (California Teachers Association). I know this because searching the CTA website for the word "substitute" generates only one hit and it does not relate to anything about "substitute teachers". CTA has had, in the past, only minor impact on me as a substitute teacher.

So what's happened that I'm commenting on the CTA at present? It's actually a very minor positive side effect of something called "working to the contract" (WTC). It started a couple weeks before the Christmas break when I arrived for my classroom assignment.

It seems that the CTA and the school district have been at odds about pay raises and benefit issues. The district is countering that times are tough so suck it up or quit (not the actual language, but close enough). The facts are not important (to me, anyway) since whatever the outcome, it won't change what the district pays me as a daily substitute teacher.

Apparently, the teachers don't want to strike for some reason. They chose a tactic called "work to the contract". This is where the teachers are to work strictly inside the confines of the union negotiated contract and nothing further.

That means, they are to arrive at school no sooner than the contracted starting time, and leave the classroom at the contracted quitting time. They aren't allowed to correct papers, make copies, meet or call parents or any other school related tasks outside of school hours if it isn't stated in the contract.

Since my job assignment starts 30min before the first bell, I get a prime parking spot close to the building while the teachers are driving around the school or parking in the street waiting for their WTC starting time!

It's not much, but I'll take it.

Newtown, Connecticut

2012-12-15T18:22:00.000-08:00

As I left for school yesterday morning, I heard only a short report of a possible shooting at a school in Connecticut before I left. I didn't really hear anything more until I returned home to find Claudette sobbing and watching the news reports of the murder of twenty kids and six adults in the small town of Newton, Conn.

On her laptop was a list of names and ages of the victims. It was then she explained that all the kids were the same age as three of our grandkids and she couldn't help bear the thought of the pain and loss those parents and grandparents must be going through when they were informed.

"That could have been Paige, Elle and Nathan...."

(It's too close to think about even as I write this)

It was then she realized and said, "...and YOU were at school today TOO!"

...I hadn't even thought about that.

We did ALL this stuff as a kid....

2012-12-07T15:59:00.001-08:00

I grew up in the 50's and 60's and we DID ALL this stuff...and we SURVIVED!!

30 Days (...and one week) of Friends ...

2012-12-06T23:35:00.000-08:00

And the Blu-Ray box set drawing winner IS....(drum roll)...Steve Weber!!!
CONGRATULATIONS STEVE!!
(IMPORTANT: Steve!! You need to email me your mailing address where to send it!)

And the Prize Pack Winner IS: Mike from San Jose, CA
Congratulations Mike!!!

Important Announcement: ONE WEEK SECOND CHANCE DRAWING!!

MORE Friends!!!
Warner Bros. was so excited about the response to the Friends prize pack giveaway, that they are allowing me the opportunity to give away ONE Complete Series Blu-Ray Box Set to a lucky JAST reader in a random drawing to be held on DECEMBER 6, 2012

Simply take the "Which Friend Are You Most Like" quiz and post your results in the comments section and send a contact email address to KauaiMark@gmail.com

(Sorry Mike, previous winners are ineligible...)

How well do you know "Friends"?

Warner Bros. Pictures has announce the release of Friends: The Complete Series Blu-Ray Box Set November 13th 2012; along with the 30 Days of Friends: Trivia Challenge Blog App and Video Player!

In conjunction with the release, WB is providing a Friends prize pack with two over-sized cappuccino mugs and a picture frame just like the one on Monica’s door to be awarded in a random giveaway hosted here on JAST!

Enter each week by posting, in the comments section, your favorite moments from the Mashup Clip Countdown as the new videos get unlocked!

The drawing will be held on Nov 29th and I'll need the winner's name/shipping address before December 1.

The prize pack will be sent directly via FedEx or UPS. No P.O. Boxes please.

Fixing the Coffee Maker

2012-12-02T18:31:00.000-08:00

My son made this video about how to fix a Keurig Coffee machine...
...Now I know what not to get him for Christmas

Mice Ate My Lesson Plan...

2012-11-27T17:16:00.000-08:00

The "overhead projector" has long since been retired in favor of the document camera/video projector combo.

It is easy to use and even if you are not sure how to operate it, more than one kid in the classroom should be able to help sort it out. The most common problem is selecting the DocCam as the source for the projector.

Three years since they started arriving in the classroom, even I can usually sort out any connectivity problems and get it working. It is usually the first thing I do after reviewing the lesson plan to see if I'm going to need it for the days lesson.

So, here I am in a 2^nd grade classroom on the first Monday after the Thanksgiving week with only 20mins before class and I'm in totally stumped trying to get the stupid thing to work.

The projector is on, the doc/cam is on, the cables are connected and nothing is working. The video projector is "searching", without success, for an active display source. The old standby reset solution of power off/on did not help. The tech-savvy teacher next door couldn't get it to work either.

We made do with the old-fashioned whiteboard and dry-erase markers for math lesson.

It wasn't until after lunch that the school custodian suggested an answer -- mice!

It seems that mice have recently developed a taste for plastic cable sheathing and are gnawing on some of the computer cables in the ceiling and under the classroom floors.

One teacher even reported, with some irony, that she came in one morning to find her computer mouse cable chewed on, presumably, by one of its real world cousins.

Slow Week...

2012-11-12T18:48:00.000-08:00

After working 3-4 days a week since start of the new school year, it is nice to have a little time off but...

After two weekends, two self-imposed "not available due to personal commitment" days, three available but no-call days last week and one national vacation day this week, I am ready to get back to class.

In checking the assignment system, it appears that my "ten day vacation" might just stretch the rest of this week also.

Roll Call...

2012-11-10T15:50:00.001-08:00

I've had my problems with roll call, but not like this guy...

Credit: Key & Peele: Substitute Teacher on Comedy Central
Description: A substitute teacher from the inner city refuses to be messed with while taking attendance.

Can You Hear Me Now?...

2012-11-06T17:50:00.000-08:00

The lesson plan indicated..."If you wouldn't mind wearing the wireless microphone, just be sure to turn it off when answering the phone or when talking privately to students or visitors."

The lesson plan indicated it was to help "Jimmy" pay attention to do his work. Otherwise, he tends to be out of his seat wandering. I think the plan mentioned something about some kind of attention disorder that this device was supposed to help with.

This is not the first time I've encountered students with varying levels of hearing impairment. I wore a wireless microphone in a 1^st grade class with a boy who had hearing aids in both ears. The only problem I had was remembering that I needed to switch it off when I wasn't addressing the class during the day. When that happened, he would raise his hand and "remind me" by pointing to his ear.

I didn't think much about the "if you wouldn't mind" phrasing about wearing a wireless mic in today's 3^rd grade classroom until the class was settled and I started to introduce myself.

Suddenly, I'm hearing myself on the other side of the room next to the teacher's desk.

"What the..??"

I stopped talking when I almost heard myself say something I'd regret if I finished that thought REALLY out loud. It seems that THIS system, a "Phonak Dynamic Soundfield" is a loud speaker.

Jimmy, sans any kind of ear aids, informs me that it helps him concentrate. His desk is right next to the five-foot tall pole speaker system.

With the system switched off, Jimmy can hear me just fine from where I'm standing in front of the class. The rest of the class must be used to this system as the regular teacher uses it daily.

While it may help Jimmy to concentrate on his class work, it is very distracting to me as I hear myself inside my head vs. outside my head at the same time and slightly delayed.

So, we did without the hi-tech classroom boom box while redirecting Jimmy one-on-one as needed.

No Excuses...

2012-11-02T16:01:00.000-07:00

No excuses for what went wrong in 6th grade today. It was my fault.

The class was great, the daily agenda was on the board, the matching lesson plan was clear, the materials and teachers edition books stacked exactly in the order needed.

I gave out the four part, three page reading assessment test with some 90 multiple-choice questions that the lesson plan indicated should take only about 15 minutes to complete before lunch.

Given the short amount of time and the number of pages/questions to work through, I had a lingering doubt that even this intelligent class as a whole could complete it. It turned out that only a handful actually completed the entire assignment in 15min.

After lunch, I checked the next item on the lesson plan. It listed a one-page literacy quiz with three questions to answer.

The allotted time was an hour!

I had somehow confused the "reading test" handouts with "literature quiz" handouts. They were in the right order when I reviewed the lesson plan that morning but somehow I had switched the handouts. There IS no one else to blame.

When I told the class what I must have done and it was my fault, some of the kids thought that's what might have happened but didn't say anything because...I'm the TEACHER!

As I'm passing back the incomplete assessment tests for additional time to finish, I gently suggested that THEY know the classroom routine and materials better than I do. It is perfectly acceptable to question any lesson plan assignment for clarification if it seems oddly out of the routine.

If someone had, I would have had less to apologize for.