Just Add Light and Stir

Inventory your tools

2013-06-20T00:01:00.000-06:00

Inventory your own tools. What do you already know that can make you a more peaceful parent? What tricks and skills can you bring into your relationships with members of your family?
. . . .As you move toward peace, remember you can't have all of anything in one move. Each thought or action can move you nearer, though (or further).

SandraDodd.com/peace/noisy
photo by Sandra Dodd, through glass
("It's the thought that counts.")

Hopeful and helpful

2013-06-19T00:01:00.000-06:00

Be up! Be happy when you can. Be hopeful and helpful!

Everyone who can do that makes the world a better place.

SandraDodd.com/feedback
photo by Sandra Dodd, of a preemie calf, still damp
and a matching, watchful cat
at Alex Polikowsky's farm

The parts that fascinate you

2013-06-18T00:01:00.000-06:00

"Real learning looks like doing a billion piece jigsaw puzzle. Sometimes you'll work on a dragon down in the corner. Sometimes you'll work on a cat in the center. Sometimes you'll work on the bits that are red. Sometimes you'll work on the frame. Eventually you'll discover what connects the dragon and the cat. You'll work on whatever interests you. And eventually there will be a rich collection of individual bits that form a bigger picture. But since it's a billion pieces you'll never do the whole thing. You'll just do the parts that fascinate you."

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/reallearning
photo by Sandra Dodd

When it flows

2013-06-17T00:01:00.000-06:00

When unschooling is working best, nobody is talking about learning. Saying "We're doing this so you will learn" will make the activity awkward, and you set up an expectation, and the possibility of failure to learn.

When unschooling really flows, everyone will learn, but you won't know in advance what will be learned.

The quote is from an exchange on facebook, but try:
SandraDodd.com/learning
photo by Sandra Dodd

Vibrant, healthy and active

2013-06-16T00:01:00.000-06:00

I can see how vibrant, healthy, and active both of them are. They love to go outside, run with their friends, ride bikes, dig in the dirt, go swimming, catch fireflies, climb trees, and tons of other things. And they also love watching TV and playing computer games. I can look at them directly, without any fear, and see that they are whole and that our relationship is remaining intact because I respect the things they love and support choices they make."

—Susan May

Either/Or Thinking and "Screen Time"
photo by Sarah Dickinson

The children described aren't the same as those pictured,
but they're all unschoolers.

Ask questions about life

2013-06-15T00:01:00.000-06:00

"Think in terms of nurturing your own enthusiasm about life rather than nurturing their enthusiasm. Don't jump up and down about George Washington if he puts you to sleep. Be honest in your pursuit of what interests you. Let them see that you think something is really cool. Not to get them interested in something you think would be good for them but an honest "Wow! I love this stuff!" And ask questions about life. Be curious. Because it's the questions that are important. Anyone can look up the answers but not everyone can ask the questions."

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/joyce/talk
(includes a link to a new French translation)
photo by Sandra Dodd

Aging beauty

2013-06-14T00:01:00.000-06:00

Those swans are in the window of a closed business in a dying town in West Texas. The window has a reflection of me, taking the photo, and of the buildings across the street. I think they were probably beautiful when the window was first installed, and the store was fresh and filled with people and with the future.

I think the swans are even prettier now that they're the liveliest and most graceful things there. It might have been easy to miss seeing them in 1930, or whenever they first saw that street, because the new window below it would have been full of beautiful displays and the reflections of locals in their hats and suits and dresses.

The same camera has just taken photos in Portugal, and England, of odd little old things, of new and smiling people and of temporary tricks of light, ancient arches and statues and castles.

Look with your eyes and your heart at the beauty around you.

Today, the links are all from Just Add Light and Stir

Beauty
See beauty in...
Beauty in onions
An Abundance of Beauty (with readers' links, and you can add your own!)
photo by Sandra Dodd

How to be

2013-06-13T00:01:00.000-06:00

Be sweet to your children.

SandraDodd.com/christmas04, way at the bottom
photo by Sandra Dodd

Pick a goal, any goal...

2013-06-12T00:01:00.000-06:00

In response to anti-"screentime" rhetoric:

If one's goal is to make school the most interesting thing on a child's horizon, then by all means—turn off the TV, don't give them any great picture books, avoid popular music, and close all the windows.

If one's goal is to make learning a constant condition of a child's life, then turn ON the TV, give them all the books and magazines and music they want, open the windows, explore! Explore when you're out of the house, and explore when you're in the house.

SandraDodd.com/t/learning
photo of Holly Dodd by Quinn Trainor
This post is a re-titled re-run from May 5, 2011. Holly uses the name "Doozy" now. The window behind her has metal without glass. It is in "the rock house" (the Kiwanis cabin) at the top of the Sandias.

There is more on my site now about the prejudices some parents can succumb to than there used to be, too: "Screentime"

Joyful witness

2013-06-11T00:01:00.000-06:00

I am joyfully stepping into a space where I can now see and witness learning all of the time!

—Lynn Salmon-Easter

SandraDodd.com/learningallthetime
photo by Cátia Maciel, of her son with a flea-market pirate ship,
flags against the blue of a distant ocean, treasure chest at his side,
transported to another place in his thoughts

Mix it up

2013-06-10T00:01:00.000-06:00

Combine some things that have never been put together before.

SandraDodd.com/strewing
photo by Sandra Dodd

I nearly missed a day

2013-06-09T01:41:00.000-06:00

Time out!

I got tired and went to sleep without thinking about Just Add Light. That doesn't often happen.

Yesterday I was at a flea market in Lisbon. Anyone who feels like looking at photos that can lead to connections and questions is very welcome to see what I snapped during that time out, and some of the things I brought home with me!

I'm sorry I didn't do a proper post, in time for the morning mailing, though. Six more weeks in Europe... I expect a few more worthy distractions, but also opportunities for some good photos!

SandraDodd.com/connections
photo by Sandra Dodd (click the image for more)

Natural learning flows

2013-06-08T00:01:00.000-06:00

Learning and growth are like a limitless reservoir, but we have factors in our culture that limit our access or control or faith that it could even work, or our feeling of ownership of knowledge of growth and learning. Experts. Timetables and charts.

Once a parent knows enough about natural learning to help that learning happen, though, it can flow freely.

hand pumps, siphons, water containers
photo by Sandra Dodd

Finding art

2013-06-07T00:01:00.000-06:00

Be brave! Not all art is in museums. Not everything that's in a museum is timeless, glorious art. Find accidents, jokes, coincidences... Share them with your children, share them with your friends.

SandraDodd.com/art
photo by Sandra Dodd, and it's a link to where and what it is

Flow

2013-06-06T00:01:00.000-06:00

"If you can only see the obstacles, then your journey won't be easy. Be like the water, finding its way around the rocks. See the openings, the possibilities."

—Robin Bentley

from a facebook discussion, but SandraDodd.com/flow follows from it, too
photo by Colleen Prieto

No matter how old

2013-06-05T00:01:00.000-06:00

For a parent who didn't know about attachment parenting early on, those things can be compensated for by being gentler to older children, and patient, and loving.

For those who were gentle and attentive to babies as people, remember that your child, no matter how old, is still that same person who trusted you the first days and weeks and months.

It's easy to forget, and to be impatient and critical. It happens at my house. It can be ever easier to remember, with practice and focus, to choose quiet and soft, still.

See also A Quiet Soft Place
photo by Julie D

Whole and in the real world

2013-06-04T00:01:00.000-06:00

If they're whole people from the beginning, a lot of those problems and stages don't even exist. They're artificial, and they have to do with school.

Sometimes people say, "Well how will your kids know how to live in the real world?"

And I say "What do you mean by 'the real world'?"
And that's a trap. ☺

17:30 on the recording of An Interview with Sandra Dodd
photo by Holly Dodd

Simply and beautifully excel

2013-06-03T00:01:00.000-06:00

Ronnie Maier wrote this. I love the phrase "simply and beautifully excel."

With unschooling, kids aren't all expected to have the same sort of intelligence. Verbal and logical intelligences aren't valued more, so kids with other intelligences aren't at risk as they are in school. For example, a boy with kinesthetic intelligence might be a discipline case in school, or labeled with dyslexia or ADD, or simply made to feel stupid. As an unschooler, that same boy might learn his ABC's while jumping on the trampoline, start reading while playing video games, or simply and beautifully excel in some physical pursuit. Most importantly, he will never be made to feel he's less for being who he is.

—Ronnie Maier

SandraDodd.com/intelligences
photo by Sandra Dodd

A beautiful mystery

2013-06-02T00:01:00.000-06:00

"I want to see Lucas Sven Leuenberger's math rock band. But where? When?

"The future is a beautiful mystery."

—Doozy Dodd

One doesn't need to know what math rock is to appreciate the comment about the future.
SandraDodd.com/holly
photo by Colleen Prieto

Now what?

2013-06-01T00:01:00.000-06:00

Nothing in the world can guarantee that life will never jump up and scare us, or that circumstances won't pile up on us. The question to ask when one is consciously intending to create and maintain a more peaceful life is "now what?"

from a discussion on facebook
photo by Dylan Lewis

Find delight

2013-05-31T00:01:00.000-06:00

Find delight in small, everyday things.

SandraDodd.com/joy
photo by Sandra Dodd

Astonishment

2013-05-30T00:01:00.000-06:00

Let new ideas and experiences astonish you.

SandraDodd.com/wonder
photo by Sandra Dodd, of a hurricane simulation booth
in a mall in Slough (click it for another view)

Calm in confusion

2013-05-29T00:01:00.000-06:00

Learn to be content with your own puzzlement, and to nurture the puzzlement around you. It's okay not to have all the answers, but to let the questions confuse you for a while as you move in new directions.

You might like SandraDodd.com/gradualchange
(the quote is not from there, but it's related)
photo by Sandra Dodd

Read, try, wait and watch

2013-05-28T00:01:00.000-06:00

Read a little. Try a little. Don't do what you don't understand.

Wait a while. You probably won't see an immediate change. But don't pull your plants up by the roots to see if they're growing. That's not good for any plants or for any children. Be patient. Trust that learning can happen if you give it time and if you give it space.

Watch your own children. Are they calm? Are they happy? Are they curious and interested in things? Don't mar their calm or their happiness with arbitrary limits, or with shame, or with pressure. Be their partner.

SandraDodd.com/video/doright
photo by Sandra Dodd

Transcendental moments

2013-05-27T00:01:00.000-06:00

Remember that your children will also experience flow.

If you interrupt them while they're playing Rock Band or drawing or spinning on a tire swing, you might be disturbing a profound experience. So interrupt gently, when you must. Treat them with the respect you would treat anyone who might be in the midst of a transcendental moment.

page 207 of The Big Book of Unschooling, on Flow
photo by Sarah Dickinson