Just Amy's World

Time Heals All Wounds?

2013-02-21T10:07:00.000-06:00

When someone you love passes from this life to the Summerlands you start to count the passage of time in a completely different way. At first it is one breath at a time, one excruciatng, heartbroken moment at a time. Eventually it will be by the day, then the week, and finally a month. But that first month after their passing seems like an eternity that went by in the blink of an eye. When

I Love You, Bud. I Miss You.

2013-02-13T06:27:00.002-06:00

Love Forever, Mom

Dreamtime

2013-02-10T13:51:00.001-06:00

I'm in a department store, looking for something but I'm not quite sure what, when I hear a familiar voice behind me say "hello Mother". My heart skips a beat and rises to my throat and I turn around to see my son, my handsome boy that I buried in the cold, hard ground nine years ago, standing in front of me. Very much alive. In that instant, I know the blood has drained from my face and

Letter To My Son

2012-11-26T20:24:00.000-06:00

Dear Jeremy, Happy Birthday! Tomorrow would have been your 31st birthday, had you stayed on this earth long enough. I truly wish you had, that we would be celebrating your special day together with a birthday cake (made by me, of course), your favorite meal and maybe a beer to wash it down. I wonder, had you still been alive, what you would have done with your life in the past nine years

Remembering My Soldier Son

2012-05-27T09:51:00.004-05:00

Sgt. Jeremy R. Smith US Army Reserves Nov. 1981 to Feb. 2004 961st QM It is Memorial Day weekend and I am thinking about my son. It's been a long time since I wrote about him. Thoughts of him when he was born, perfect and beautiful, capturing my heart. It was love at first sight. As do most babies, he had day and night mixed up and his exhausted young mama was often in tears. I

Death Day

2012-02-13T08:30:00.000-06:00

Today is my son's death day. There is no other way to describe what today is. When we are born, we have a birth day, a day to be celebrated. To say that today is the anniversary of the day he died makes it seems so meaningless when that day had a very highly profound impact on my family. So I call it his death day. There are two days that had the most profound impact on my life -- the day

Mourning During the Holidays

2011-11-30T07:50:00.002-06:00

It's a fact of life that we all have to deal with at one time or another in our lives. People we love die and it hurts down to the deepest core of who we are as human beings when they do. We grieve their passing because we loved them and we miss them terribly.The holidays can be a very, very hard time for us. Because I have so many friends who are going through tremendous loss this holiday season

Grief/Mourning

2011-09-26T17:47:00.002-05:00

This weekend, on a campout deep in the Texas woods with many of those whom I hold near and dear to my heart, I met a woman who is angry. She is angry at the Gods, she is angry at life and she is angry at her situation. She called down the wrath of the Gods, dared them to challenge her, to beat her, to apologize to her.You see, her dear husband died four months ago in a motorcycle accident --

For Jeremy

2010-02-12T17:07:00.002-06:00

I love you. I miss you.Love forever,Mom

The Willow Tree

2009-02-14T14:41:00.002-06:00

From now until the end of February I am going to do my best to post stories and things on my blog that are not political and that are things others might find positive, inspiring or just interesting. I wrote about my cats the other day. Yesterday I wrote about my daughter's graduation. Today I want to tell you about the willow tree growing in my front yard. It started as a stick, about two feet

Hey, Bud

2009-02-13T07:20:00.003-06:00

It's Mom. I just wanted to take a few minutes out of my day to say hello. It might be a good time to play catch up on the family stuff, huh?I think we've all finally caught our breaths and are learning to live our lives in a world where you are no longer. It's been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Your sisters are doing pretty good. Dani is graduating from school today and we're all

I Love You

2009-02-08T23:45:00.006-06:00

ltr, Jeremy, Jaime, me, Danielle. Our last picture together.For my readers, both old and new, family and friend, I wrote this piece about two years ago when I was approached by a couple of producers who were working on a play in New York City. It was accepted to be part of the play but, sadly, it never got off the ground. I am no longer under contractual obligation to not share this piece, so I

I Love You -- Part II

2009-02-08T23:41:00.002-06:00

I was home alone that night. Maxx and I had been sick all week long, and that was the first time all week, since leaving Jeremy at Ft. Hood, that either of us had been able to leave the house. Maxx had gone to pick up some much-needed groceries and had only been gone five minutes.“Ma’am, the Army regrets to inform you…” The words hung in the air as the Sergeant stood in my living room.My legs

Remembering Jeremy

2008-11-26T17:55:00.004-06:00

There are some dates in our lives that will be forever marked "special". Tomorrow is one of those days.Not just because it's Thanksgiving, but because it would have been my son's 27th birthday if he were still alive. It's hard for me to believe that it's been five years since we spent Jeremy's 22nd birthday with him, which was also on Thanksgiving Day that year. It was on Saturday that my husband

The In-Between Time

2008-08-25T10:44:00.002-05:00

It happened right when Maxx left for work this morning. It was that in-between time when it's neither night or day, when the light starts to reach my part of the world, but the sun has shown above the horizon...I stepped outside with my coffee to greet the morning, and in that light, the growing things in my yard seemed so much more green than usual, giving off a luminescent glow, almost. It

Mom's Lesson

2008-05-15T01:41:00.000-05:00

Photo by Andrew SternWhen I carried my unborn children within my wombI was full of hopes and dreams and wonder…I wondered at the life we had created, growing within meAnd the first seeds of love were planted when I learned of that life.I wondered what this little one would do with his or her lifeWhat kind of person he or she would be.I wondered if this precious soul would achieve the dreams,The

Who Cares?

2008-02-13T16:50:00.000-06:00

Honestly, folks, aren't you sick and tired of hearing about what baseball players have used steroids and which ones haven't? I mean, really, don't we have more important things to worry about? And, more importantly, does't our Congress have more important things to investigate? Like, oh I don't know, the lies of Bush & Co. told to take us into war? The possibility that our President has

I Miss You...

2008-02-11T16:09:00.000-06:00

A song written by Tom Chelston, whom I have come to know and associate with from time to time... Thanks, Tom.Posted in loving memory of my son, Sgt. Jeremy R. Smith, who died four years ago this week in a car accident before he was to leave to go to Iraq with his Army unit.I love you, Bud. I miss you.And I'll never forget...Love forever,Mom

Letter to my Son

2007-11-26T12:55:00.001-06:00

Dearest Jeremy,Tomorrow would have been your 26th birthday. As I sit here and think about you, I wonder what your life would have been like had you lived, had you not been killed in that damn car accident before you were supposed to go to Iraq. I wonder how you would have been when you came home and I wonder what you'd be like now. I just wonder.I wonder if you would have married by now and

Thanksgiving Memories

2007-11-23T22:41:00.000-06:00

Well, we made it again, another year through Thanksgiving. On some of the online political groups I a part of, there has been much discussion about NOT celebrating Thanksgiving for one reason or another. One reason is because it has become a somewhat secular holiday. Another reason is because people think it is terrible to feast on meat or to participate in the overeating that comes with the

Memories and Thoughts

2007-10-25T06:58:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, as I watched the news of the wildfires in California and FEMA coming to the rescue, I was reminded of my own experience with FEMA about five years or so ago. At the time my husband and I had just moved to a place called Canyon Lake, Texas, nestled in the Hill Country north of San Antonio and south of Austin. It's a nice place, really, where people go to retire or have summer vacation

How Do I....?

2007-06-27T07:51:00.000-05:00

Usually I don't like to air my dirty family laundry publically. But today I am posting this because I know that some members of my family read this blog from time to time. And it is the ONLY means of communication I have with them. Please know I love you. I have always loved you. All I have ever wanted is to know that you loved me, too. Your sister, your daughter, your niece,Amy Last

Three Years II

2007-02-13T06:49:00.000-06:00

Three years ago this morning my beautiful son's life ended just when he was beginning to get it together for the first time ever. Three years ago today I was home sick, listening to the local news and heard it was snowing in the Hill Country around Ft. Hood and thinking that Jeremy would be enjoying that, not knowing that the snow started about the same time he died.Three years ago tonight the

Three Years

2007-02-06T06:49:00.000-06:00

Three years ago today Jeremy was home with us, alive and well, on his last leave of absence before heading to Iraq. Three years ago we were at the Museum of Natural History looking at exhibits and laughing at stupid stuff. We went to the movies and on his last night home, fixed his favorite dinner, steak and baked potatoes. Three years ago there were only about 500 soldiers dead from this war.

Honor. Duty. Country

2007-01-26T22:52:00.000-06:00

HONOR…DUTY…COUNTRYThese three words may be only words to you and to me, ordinary citizens of the United States of America. To our Servicemen and women, however, they are a code to live by as they serve our country. They live with honor. They do their duty and they serve their country.These words are the words I had inscribed on my son’s headstone three years ago next month. They are the code he