JUST ANOTHER SINGAPORE HOMEBREWER

No beer, but a fucking scary big tub of

2012-10-24T12:50:00.002+08:00

Mind you, this fucking tub is super fucking huge I swear.

QUICK DISSOLVING EASY-TO-MIX GNC PRO PERFORMANCE 100% WHEY MOTHERFUCKING PROTEIN.

I can't recall how I plunge my dickhead into this tub of protein, but before I know what the protein was going on I was already texting my girlfriend this picture of protein for her to get me some, like what all women should do for men, other than the usual making sandwiches fetching beers and stuff. They are happy doing those things.

So now, we all know how beer gets you laid (Colt 45), getting kids unknowingly from sperm smelling like beer, and get us unwanted body fats at our tummies. Why not we all come around and add a scoop of whey into our Carlsberg tonight.

What the fuck's going on here.

Some fucktards were seriously having some serious discussion on how they can seriously make a serious whey protein beer. Seriously. http://www.homebrewtalk.com/f14/beer-protein-powder-200562/ you can check them out from this link. Come on folks, at the end of 2 bottles of protein beer your balls would probably have 5kg worth of sperm inside.

Back to the topic, proteins. I'll just summarise the whole dump of info I digged through before I bought my first tub of EASY-TO-MIX, or whatever you call it.

I found out that this...

Every sperm is sacred.

Is made up of this...

For your info, this is a predicted structure of C44189H71252N12428O14007S321.

I shit you not fuckers. Google it all you want. It's C44189H71252N12428O14007S321

And C44189H71252N12428O14007S321 is actually this.

Oh me again?

And I found out that sperm, let's call it semen from now. I found out that semen, is a powerful anti-oxidant. It is considered great in diminishing and reducing wrinkles. It also makes the skin smooth. And one squirt of semen session on your face is $250 for 10 minutes.

I shit you not ladies.. and gays.

I am telling you now that every potent men with ejacuable semen is rich. I would have been a billionaire if I kept my semen from the day I first started masturbating at the age of 6. Go and google this Norwegian semen company called Bioforskning or follow this link http://www.smashinglists.com/10-weirdest-ingredients-used-in-beauty-products-and-cosmetics/ if you don't believe what the semen I'm semen-ing about.

So back to the topic, choosing the right semen for your face.. Or in other words, how do you really choose the right protein for yourself?

Just follow this chart to gauge how much protein you should take every day according to which category you're in.. (taken from http://www.fitsugar.com/How-Much-Protein-Should-I-Eat-165578)

Weight in pounds	Weight in kilograms	Protein per day if you're not very active (kg multiplied by 0.8)	Protein per day if you're active or pregnant (kg multiplied by 1.3)	Protein per day if you're extremely active or in training (kg multiplied by 1.8)
100 lbs	45.5 kg	36.4 g	59.2 g	81.9 g
105 lbs	47.7 kg	38.2 g	62 g	85.9 g
110 lbs	50 kg	40 g	65 g	90 g
115 lbs	52.3 kg	41.8 g	68 g	94.1 g
120 lbs	54.5 kg	43.6 g	70.9 g	98.1 g
125 lbs	56.8 kg	45.4 g	73.8 g	102.2 g
130 lbs	59.1 kg	47.3 g	76.8 g	106.4 g
135 lbs	61.4 kg	49.1 g	79.8 g	110.5 g
140 lbs	63.6 kg	50.9 g	82.7 g	114.5 g
145 lbs	65.9 kg	52.7 g	85.7 g	118.6 g
150 lbs	68.2 kg	54.7 g	88.7 g	122.8 g
155 lbs	70.5 kg	56.4 g	91.7 g	126.9 g
160 lbs	72.7 kg	58.2 g	94.5 g	130.8 g
165 lbs	75 kg	60 g	97.5 g	135 g

The type of protein you prefer in your lifestyle, fucking read it yourself here. http://www.livestrong.com/article/322375-the-types-of-protein-shakes/

I am personally taking in Whey protein. Fast and stuff. It's my own preference tho. You may want to consult the person selling these protein powders, or your boyfriends and fuck buddies whether you should spend money on something that can be produced in abundance for free.

That's all about protein. Hope you enjoy semen as much as I do after reading.

Behind every beer towers...

2012-01-15T08:13:00.012+08:00

Other than the sexy and always so uninterested waitress who carried it here, are numerous stories from every walks of life.

"There are no secrets better kept between you and a beer tower. #truestory"

I'm feeling all philosophical now early in the Sunday morning, so whoever is reading this, bear with me. Philosophy can be really dry, but don't forget this people, being wet is not always better, explains magikarps.

Sorry brah, but til then we are still going to laugh at you.

BUT GUESS WHAT??? EVERY FUCKING MAGIKARP HAS ITS MOTHERFUCKING DAY.

"Die motherfucking die motherfucking die!!!!!!"

HAHAHAHAHA SO THOSE who laughed at magikarps before better watch out, for ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY FUCK WITH A MAGIKARP LOLOLOL. For those who can't appreciate what that magikarp did, here's the breakdown:

1) The magikarp, which is a female (don't ask me how I know), leaped out of the water before Piplup shoots his bubbles at her BECAUSE this will increase the mobility of her tail fin in order to deflect the bubbles. Then with the gravity and F = ma equation in mind, she charged down from the air into the water and tackles Piplup. *mind-blown*

2) She dodged Pikachu's thunderbolt by leaping into the air, once again gaining the advantage of gravity and the F = ma shit. Went down, gave Pikachu a bitch fin slap. *mind-fucking-blown*

3) And then they both exploded and died. *MIND-FUCKED*

So back to the topic. Beer has this magical touch to all of us. This is my story of how beer magically touched my life...

"When I was young, I remember my mum will keep screaming at me to drink 8 full glasses of water every single day while I am talking to my Doraemon. But I never did... So as to make it up to you, mum, I'll drink 16 glasses of beer for you every night." #truestory

Don't you realise this? Water makes you bloated, and dulan (for those who don't understand hokkien, it means healthy), and reminds you of the sad times when you were happily fishing with the "old rod" but all you ever got were magikarps. Even until now I still can't move on from that... I hate myself for being so emotionally weak.

But beer you can. What's more? It gives you beer goggle which really comes in handy sometimes... When you are looking into the mirror that is.

Nuff said. So how did beer magically touched YOUR life? :)

And for those who know where I got the next picture from are awesome.

"Listen to my story, this may be our last chance."

I'm not being anal here but it'd have been better if it goes like this.. "Listen to my #truestory, this may be our last chance."

The phone call...

2011-10-10T20:45:00.002+08:00

Which you know will make you stop whatever you're doing, just to answer it.

Which you know will make you ease those tensions you're going through at work.

Which you know will listen to whatever you want to say, no matter how long-winded you get, no matter how late it is.

Which you know will always make you laugh, no matter where you are and what you are doing.

Which you know you will never get enough of.... Ever.

The phone call... Which never fails to put a smile on my face even before I answer it.... Is never going to happen again. Never be the same without yours. Nothing to look forward to, just miseries and disappointments.

Let's talk something alcoholic today.

2011-10-07T00:49:00.002+08:00

Of course you noticed that I said 'alcoholic', and you know oh so well that I'm not going to talk about beer today, unless you're a fucktard like this pubic head.

"I was correct what..." said the pubic fucktard.

Being a beer blog restricted my inspirations for quite awhile, HOWEVER, I'm going to change this retarded mindset of mine and say whatever I want to say, like how you guys know me for.

Here comes the main selling point of today's post. Before I start blah blah-ing about what I'm gonna blah about, heed this piece of advice, or you will regret.

NEVER, EVER, GO TO AN UNDERGROUND BAR IN JAPAN.

The table is able to settle 5 customers, with maybe 2 tables for 4 to 1 table behind us. That's all to it.

I did, and I've never enjoyed any cocktails in Singapore anymore ever since. It was a tragedy. Never fucking mess with those Japanese bartenders even if their great grand-fathers fucked your great grand-mothers during WWII.

I ordered a Gin Fizz to test out how different can it be compared to Singapore's, and here's my result:

Japan: Took him 7 full minutes, from making my highball glass cold by spinning some ice inside, to the final stirring which was insanely skilled. The whole process was a pleasure to my eye. (sorry I can't describe how he did it, I had videos tho.)

Singapore: Took him 30 seconds until the final adding of soda water.

Insanity. Sorry to disappoint you but this was just a ripped off from googling "Japanese Bartender"

I have never imagined that a simple Gin Fizz, under a different set of hands, is able to pull a heaven and hell difference in taste. I will never forget that night. Never.

I will post the videos I took when the bartender is cocktail-ing my cocktails soon enough, like, after I learn how to upload videos onto a blog and stuff. Teach me if you know how to do it? I will sincerely say a sincere thank you to you through a sincere Yours sincerely postcard.... With my most sincere face as you can see below.

My most sincere face.

Sorry to end so abruptly but thank you for reading.

The legendary quick fix beer has emerged..... Colt 45

2011-07-03T18:51:00.000+08:00

but only for Indian girls with bomb hair.

What the fuck is "It works everytime !" ?! I can't stop laughing at this corny advertisement the first time I saw it. O'well, if you have ever tried this beer before, you will understand it's beer magic straightaway. It's enough to make you high and higher in 3 cans, giddy and giddier in 4 cans, drunk at the 5th cans, naked the next morning if you're a girl. I call it the "5 Cans Quick Fix". Notice the small writings below Colth 45? Malt Liquor. Here's the catch, it's a liquor fermented with malt and carbonized like a beer into a beer can. It's enough to kill even a seasoned beer drinker (I was killed). It's a cheap version of Martell + Tiger at Boat Quay.

That was only his 3rd can of Colt 45.

Anyway this magical beer is sold in Cheers and 7-11 at $2+. If you wanna get laid, simply head down the your nearest outlet with a piece of $10 note, get yourself a few cans, get drunk, and go fuck the floor ha ha ha but make sure you don't get stomped like this stupid ass over there.

So apparently, Colt 45 beer gained its recognition among desperate men and women after it successfully increased the rate of pregnancy. For your own info, Colt 45 beer is actually inspired by this.

The Real Colt 45.

Doesn't this bring back memories? I remember that I used to have a few of this guns at home when I was young, shooting invisible baddies and stuff.

Homebrewing made easy in Singapore.

2011-04-10T16:18:00.000+08:00

It has been awhile since I last posted. Today I'm just going to talk about the Homebrewing scene in our clean and green country, Singapore.

Homebrewing made easy in Singapore. Yes, I'm going to talk on the law of homebrewing beer in Singapore and of course, the equipments needed to do so. Homebrewing is trending in other countries such as Australia and UK, but not Singapore. Probably because 99% of the time parents will object to the very idea of making beer. Can you imagine? Your parents fuck you up for drinking beer every other night, especially for girls, and now you wanna fucking brew the fucking beer in their very own fucking house? They will probably flying kick you and use your fermenter to store water and wash their cars. But let's say your parents are beer drinkers themselves, like mine, you can do it. And this is how it's done.

"This is for brewing muthafuckin' beer at home you dog."

According to The Law...

No Licence Needed for Home-Brew of Beer and Liquors

I am pleased to inform you that with the enactment of the Customs (Home-Brewing of Fermented liquors)(Exemption) Order 2008 comes into operation on 4th April 2008, there is no need for an individual to fucking apply for a licence from the Singapore Customs for brewing of beer, stout, porter, ale and other liquors (including samsu, wine etc), subject to the following conditions:

a) the person shall be 18 years old and above;
b) the manufacture of liquors shall be by fermentation and not by
distillation;
c) the amount of liquor manufactured shall not exceed â€”
(i) in relation to beer, including stout, porter and ale, 30
litres per household of the person per month; and
(ii) in relation to any other fermented iquor, 30
litres in total for all such liquors per household of the
person per month;
d) the liquor made shall be used for personal consumption and not
for sale; and
e) the brewing activities do not create nuisance to the public or
degrade the environment.

2 Our record shows that you are issued with a licence for home-brewing
of beer. Consequent to the enactment of the Customs (Home-Brewing of
Fermented liquors)(Exemption) Order 2008, the licence is therefore
withdrawn, as there is no fucking need for such a licence. Please destroy the
licence. Please be informed that there is no refund of the licence fee in
accordance to one of the conditions for the issuance of the licence which
states that no refund of licence fee will be made for revocation or
withdrawal of licence.

3 Please contact the undersigned at 63552093 if you have questions or
wish to seek clarification on the matter.

Yours sincerely

Yeo Soon Heng
Senior Revenue Control Officer
Revenue Control Branch

~~for Director -General of Singapore Customs~~

I've censored the writer of this law just-in-case to avoid any unforeseen troubles, please bear with it. If you're amused by why such a serious letter has a few vulgarities in there.... Is I write myself one lah hahaha make it more shiok what right?!

So my advice to you is JUST DO IT. For own homebrewing beer kits? Visit www.homebrew.com.sg, a venture started out by Mr Neo Say Wee, one of Brewerkz's young and handsome talented brewer, and also www.ibrew.com.sg, they have a very decent homebrewing kit as well. A simple and typical home brewing kit will look like this...

With barrels and ladders and stuffs.

A man checking his simple homebrewing kit in his kitchen at home.

Sorry I fucking lied.

Taken from www.homebrew.com.sg

Hope we can discuss about homebrewing in time to come folks. Vous Voir!

Let's talk about Tiger Beer

2011-03-29T21:44:00.000+08:00

How much do you know about our Singapore's first locally brewed beer? Other than it has 5% alcohol content and it's a pale lager?

"It's Tiger Time."

The taste is definitely different from last time yeah, they secretly stopped using tiger meat to cut costs or something. I don't know how many of you agree with me on this but, it used to be not so easy drinking. I really enjoyed it's ultimate unique bitter after-taste compared to other beers such as Anchor's easy-drinking and mild after-taste. Now the taste doesn't linger in my mouth after every mouthful anymore. But nonetheless, it's still the best lager you can find at any standard kopitiams. If you would like to know how to home brew it.....

How the fuck would I know. I would have been assassinated for knowing their top secret.

"Hasta la vista, baby."

In any case, almost all Singaporeans have either tasted it, had a love/hate relationship with it, got smashed on the head with it, or played a little game or two with the Tiger beer bottles. If you need ideas on "101 ways to play with a Tiger beer bottle" please find me at Blk 824 Tampines St 81 if you have the chance. I will show you some. Although I live in Eunos, it's just that beer is always colder on the other side.

So.... Which beer drinker in Singapore has never tried Tiger beer before? YOU MUST BE RETARDED. Do you know if you can throw a party with Tiger beer in Australia you're considered a RICH FAG?? The beer is SOOOO high-end in other countries that it can only be tasted in high-ends restaurants or hotels.

But have you ever tasted....... The Tiger: Crystal Version. Tiger now wanna act one pokemon.

"Hey big boys, you wanna play with us tonight?"

SEXY LITTLE TIGRESSES~~ Don't they look like gorgeous women wearing a silver tight dress curving the body.... Fair and smooth pair of thighs coming through the mini short skirt.... Low cut bearing desserts.... WOO LOOK AT THAT BABY MAN. Excited yet? It's created with this unique "Twin Ice" draught system technology which allows the beer to be chilled at -2 degrees celcius to ensure unpolluted beer. What's more exciting is that YOU CAN CUSTOMIZE THE AMOUNT OF LIQUID AND CRYSTALLISED BEER IN EACH GLASS. You want cold they give you cold, you want colder they give you colder.

The Website also mentioned something like, "Your beer, your way." but I would call it, "Have it in your own Way of Beer." That appeals to us beer drinkers more because every one of us have our unique preference of drinking, our own unique Way of Beer. Right?

Anyway if you're interested in trying it out, here are the locations. Females should love it alot so.... Be prepared to burn a big hole in your pocket if you wanna get lucky and get laid.

Beach Cabana - 1000 East Coast Parkway

Beach Culture - 131 Pasir Ris Road, Pasir Ris Beach Park Carpark E

Estate Bar - 19 Aroozoo Avenue, #02-01, Charlton Park

Peppermint Park - 3 Sentosa Gateway, St James Power Station

Sky Bar - 41 Imbiah Road, Sentosa

Villa Bali - 9 Lock Road #09A-01, Gillman Village

Vista Bistro - 902 East Coast Parkway

Fuck milk, got beer?

2011-03-26T14:33:00.001+08:00

What is the real definition of Beer?

Beer is a crater on Mars named in honor of the German astronomer Wilhelm Beer. It is located at 14.4°S 351.8°E..

Sorry wrong definition. It should be this one.

Beer is a relatively small lunar impact crater located on the Mare Imbrium, to the east of the crater Timocharis. Just to the northwest is the matching twin Feuillée.

WHAT THE FUCK GIVE ME THE CORRECT ONE ALREADY.

Even a baby knows what beer is. That's because beer, other than water and tea which keeps you healthy, is the 3rd most popular beverage around the world. Even monks drink beer, believe it or not. Trappist monks are still brewing their own beer since year 1595 up til this date.

This amazing beer brewed by trappist monks still uses the recipe they created back in 1595.

Portions of the earnings went to charity, more portions of it went into their monasteries, and even more portions of it were used to finance their daily life, because meditating may be costly sometimes as we all know. But nonetheless, if any of you come across this beer please give it a try. A single drop from this beer contains more culture than the most cultured person you've ever came across.

My word for Beer.

To me, there's nothing in this world can ever breathe a challenge to beer. Not even close. Non-alcoholic drinks like Coke? The funny gi-ka-poh (kickapoo.. seriously)? Naw dude. You don't cheers to them ya. Beer has this ability, to enhance what you're already feeling, enhances your emotions. It defines how the atmosphere is supposed to be, often, happy and positive atmosphere. Agree to the max? If let's say you're down and out, you drink alone, you may want to commit suicide. But if you were to come out and drink with this extremely hyperactive buddy can you imagine? He is definitely going to cheer you up. Instead of drinking alone and committing suicide later, you might both end up peeing on the door of the girl's house who cheated on you.

So start drinking that bottle of beer now. Don't be a spoil sport. Beer is more popular than coffee even when the whole world drinks coffee every morning what do you think? You give me a naked megan fox or a night of unlimited beer? Beer thanks.

Beer is just awesome.

"I agree, dude."

Don't you want to know... The Discovery of Beer?

2011-03-20T14:18:00.002+08:00

Let's go way back to the dawn of time in this post, and talk about how beer is discovered.

History is plain boring, to me, maybe not to you, but to me. I've never once attended my history classes and during the O'levels my teacher doesn't even know who is this gangster taking her history paper. So I'm gonna summarise it so much, you have the rough idea how it is from, and we can all go fly kite later.

Beer brewing was started around 6,000 years ago by the Sumerian tribe, from Sumeria. Nobody knows how they start to know this beer brewing process, but what's interesting is they actually had a hymn, called "Hymn to Ninkasi", the hymn is also the recipe of making beer. What about Ninkasi? She is the goddess of beer, who provided the world the secrets of making beer, and she looks like er... this, with a fucking fermenter on her head.

"Satisfy the desire, Sate the heart."

(It's not really a fermenter on Ninkasi's head, just in case you're retarded and you believed what I said earlier.)

With pictograms (those pieces of earth which those ancient people likes to scribble on), they showed bread being baked and crumbled into water, making a mash, which is then made into a drink which makes people feel, "exhilarating, wonderful, and blissful!" It could be that a piece of bread or grain became wet and a short time later, it began to ferment into a pulp.

But nonetheless, to me, a beer goddess should at least look like some hot chicks, like these.

"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me."

So that's all for the history of beer that we need to know, not too much that you can hold a lecture on history of beer, nor too little as well. At least when people ask you, "Hey dude, how beer comes from man?" you can give them a satisfactory answer, which of course, let them know that you meant business.

So cheers guys!

What the fuck are Hops?

2011-03-17T20:37:00.002+08:00

Question of the day: What the fuck are hops?

I'm a hop.

If you're a fan of beer, you must know what the fuck are hops. Hops contribute to the aroma, bitterness and flavour of the beer. Just like how you dump some cumin into a pot of curry to make it smell and taste nicer, similarly hops are being thrown into the brewing of beer to enhance the taste. First, you boil the fruit. Second, you add it into the beer. Simple.

When do we add hops?

You can add it straight into the fermenter right from the start, this determines the bitterness of your brew. This bittering of brew method is called "Dry Hopping" by the way. Normally people add them in when the bubbling from the air locker has slowed down, because the hop aroma will be carried away by the CO2 escaping from the fermenter, but of course, it's up to your choice. Personally I will throw my hops in during the most bubbling action so my room will smell hoppy, which is cool.

Another way to do it is to mix it in with your fermenter malt and stuff while you're boiling it at the initial stage, this gives your beer it's unique aroma and flavour. Throw your hops in at the last 15 - 20 mins of boiling. Aroma and flavour can also be further enhanced by doing it as shown in the photo below.

It's called Brew Job.

If you're a really really hardcore muthafuckin' beer person, I would recommend you to grow your own hops in your office or bedroom. The plant will give out it's own fragrance, which you can take a few sniffs to relax yourself or something. It'll be cool.

Don't you just want one?

DAY HAS COME

2011-03-14T00:09:00.008+08:00

FINALLY, after much anticipation... The brewing has now entered the final stage... Bottling!

A box of freshly bottled home brewed lager.

"The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer."

How have I waited for this day to come. So just for a little bit of recording:

1) With rubber band - Original carbon drops

2) Dot on the cap (as seen in the photo) - Sugar cane sugar

3) Naked - Honey Sugar

You may be confused, why are there 3 different types of sugar? What the fuck? This provides the carbonation of the beer. Beer does not carbonate during your 1 week fermentation in the fermenter.

During the bottling stage, you transfer the fermented beer from the fermenter and add a little bit of sugar into the bottle. Seal it up, and wait for the sugar to do the magic. This method is never recommended because the amount of sugar added into each bottle may differ slightly, it is best to throw the whole damn sugar into the batch of beer you fermented for a week.

Sugar magic?

In order to get Carbon Dioxide (carbonate) into a drink, either you pump Carbon Dioxide into a closed system (a keg), or use yeast and priming sugar to create Carbon Dioxide pressure, which is what I did. After my 1 week fermentation, there's still yeast suspended in the brew. The process of the yeast eating up the sugar gives birth to 2 things... First is the carbonate, second, the alcohol. This is scientifically called Fermentation by the way. So all I have to do now is to wait for my beer to ferment, at least for a month from now. Below is a little present from me while I was driving my girlfriend home just now. Til then folks! :)

Wondering what it is? It's my noseshit sitting on my dashboard.

Dedicated to my wonderful and beautiful girlfriend, Casilin.

2011-03-12T12:43:00.004+08:00

If you're curious about what happened to the brewing, the bubbling action of the air locker slowed down dramatically over the past 2 days, and it has completely ceased as I'm typing this post on day 6.

~~~

"I love you more than anything else in this world, Casilin."

You must have heard this more than a thousand times in your life, or maybe a million times if you're old.

"Behind every successful man, is a woman."

Not literally behind me as shown in the photo of course, not that I'm successful yet anyway.

It's not only in English, apparently there is the China version, there is the Indian version, Spanish version and tons of different versions of it. The phrase made sooooo much sense that it is recognized by every loving husbands, and egoistic wives who tell themselves that every day. (China seems to have a twist to it, with 95% of corrupted officials keeping mistresses... Let's not come to that.)

There's this period of time when I was really down to the very bottoms. I was in a huge debt, borrowed money from every possible directions, surviving on home-cooked meals, getting yelled at by my parents for being jobless. I have problems even with bus fares. I lost all fucking inspirations, I threw away all the crazy dreams I had, I became a living dead with no specific goals and nothing to look forward to anymore.
It was the darkest period of my life.

She called me up one fateful night and everything changed. When I think back now, she must have planned out every single details so carefully, that every word of the conversation whacked me hard right on the head of the nail. She chose to use a playful tone, and slowly reminds me of how I used to be so excited about everything, how I used to spend hours telling her my each step to starting my own business and expanding them, the forever over-confidence in myself saying that I can do it on the next try even after I've failed 10,000 times. She reminded me of who I was, who am I going to be. She reminded me of who I am.

There she is.

All I can do right now is not to disappoint her again anymore. We already have a few business ideas brewing in the process. She even invested in my new home brewing hobby hahaha. She has a very business crafted mind but chose to spend her time reading recipes (which I seriously suspect she's only looking at the fucking photos because she hasn't cook anything for me yet). Inherited from her businessman father I guess. Casilin, thank you for everything you've done for me, all the time you've put up with my ridiculous temper and demands, the tender love and care you've showered me when I was in my darkest period, the confidence you have in me no matter how much I may disappoint everybody. You gave me the feeling of love at its purest, and a belonging where I can return to.

I love you, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad,

and in joy as well as in sorrow.

I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals,

to honour and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you,

and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

I love you Casilin.

WHY NO WHITE WHITE

2011-03-09T23:38:00.002+08:00

Testing testing 1 2 3 testing 1 2 3

Day 3 - Bubbling has.... slowed down?

2011-03-09T23:34:00.002+08:00

WHY THIS POST THE BACKGROUND NO WHITE WHITE?!

New LOGO from Lilin

2011-03-09T18:04:00.003+08:00

I climbed the stairs, cursing and swearing with every breath because I have to be in class in a minute's time but I don't fucking know where is the classroom. I always can't fucking remember directions.
I still can't navigate my way from Takashimaya to Wheelock Place, or how to cross the damn road from Wheelock Place to the hotel because THERE'S NO VISIBLE PEDESTRIAN CROSSING AVAILABLE.

So I reached a T-junction, decided that turning right should be the right way to go, and I heard a girl's voice coming from behind, "Ay, it's on the left." I turned and ohh oh what a cutie! So I followed her cute ass to the classroom. Lesson ended, I went over like a hunter, pounced onto her table infront like a tiger, and got her number.
Well... That's how I get to know this amazing little sister of mine. Not a very long story to tell, because the better parts are what that followed. I can't imagine going to poly lectures everyday without her, it will feel like I'm not wearing pants and walking around in boxers...

"Not like we've never done it before dude"

Thank you for all these years Lilin, with love.

Day 2?? and I CAN'T WAIT FOR MY LOGO!!

2011-03-09T02:50:00.002+08:00

Day 2 of home brewing process... THE FUCKING FROTH IS GONE OH MY GODDDD WHERE THE FUCK IS IT!?

Well.. I suppose that's a good sign that it's doing something on its own. The disappearance gave me an assurance that my brew is brewingly brewing well. Bubbling still as usual from my air locker, every 5 seconds or so. I will definitely look up the web to find out biologically or chemically why does this happen. Will keep updated when I learn new stuffs.

Anyway my yeast was messed up. A little bit I guess. An yeast guru from a home brewing newsletter word that...

You must be thinking, "Ya lah I buy liquid yeast of course I fucking pour it in lah then what? Powdered yeast then sprinkle lah fuck him like that I also guru." But how did I screw it up? I simply mixed the powdered yeast in a cup of clean water and I pour it in. Smart me, it's like I did what a liquid yeast should do with my powdered yeast HAHAHA.

~~

MY SISTER SURPRISED ME THIS EVENING! THANK YOU LILIN!! *loves* She will send me my personal logo that she designed for me for "Brewacxion".She's soooooooo sweet. I couldn't have done a better job, I can only use paint to draw red circles on my photos, and I thought I was awesome. She's amazing, I can always name a few of good traits about her right off the bat if you ask me. I can't wait for her to send me the file tomorrow and of course, I will disclose the story behind me and this sweet little sister of mine, how I met her 5 years ago is still fresh in my head. Yes, she isn't my biological sister, she is my sister from a different father mother.

Time to bathe and sleep folks, a little bit of advertising here but... Do visit Chef Daniel's Kitchen at Iluma Level 7. They are coming out with this cheap wine buffet and stuff, featuring Cheeses and Ice creams from the most Clean and Fresh country ---- New Zealand. Worth a try for people who has not have the chance to savour the awesomeness in these moldy and rottencheeses which usually cost a hell lot more than the orange ones your mum put in between your Bonjour bread slices.

THANK YOU LILIN ONCE AGAIN HEHEHE. <3 <3

DAY 1 - PLOOT PLOOT PLOOT

2011-03-08T14:45:00.002+08:00

Just reached home from a fruitful day of work and guess what? My home brewed beer has entered The First Stage! Very very cool. Cooler than me. So these are what I’ve observed:

1) Plooting and more plootings, every 5 seconds or so, of gas through the water filled air lock. I feel like I’m a scientist seriously, the air lock resembles those thingies in a chemistry lab, as in those you saw on movies you know? You can see the tiny air locker at the top of the lid. That glassy spiral thingy? Yes, that’s the plooting air locker I’m talking about. Oh by the way the word Ploots is copyright-ed. It’s my dota nick.

2) A thick froth was formed on the surface of the brew as you can see from the photo above, circled with a sexy red circle using my superb mspaint skills. Froth, in case you’re not sure what it is, it is what you call “foam” which appears on the top layer of your beer when you pour your beer out into your glass like a fucking noob. The correct way of pouring beer out without forming some noob froth? Pour it straight into your mouth dude.

Ahh.. So much for the excitment, but as exciting as it is, I’ll now disclose the relationship between me and Say Wee the Brewer.

~

He is the owner of http://www.homebrew.com.sg/. I drove down to his store at Telok Blangah Rise, and that’s how I got my home brewing kit. That’s it, end of the relationship HAHAHAHA I’m so sorry I’m so lame. Just go ahead and contact him or something if you got any doubts or questions on home brewing, say is Evan Quek recommended you to him.

That’s all folks. Now let me wait patiently with my beloved Erdinger for The Second Stage.

THE BIRTH OF BREWACXION

2011-03-08T14:41:00.001+08:00

BrewAcxioN was born from the word “Brew” (like duh) and “action”. I wanted it to beBrewAction in the initial stage, pronouced as Brew-wac-tion, so why a stupid Acxion? I started a competitive Counter-Strike team back in my poly days, named it “Team ReacXioN”, in short, Team RXN, and so I thought it will be quite cool to continue this tradition or something.

I was at Clementi MRT Station on this fateful day and I met my BMT buddy Shaowei. Long story short, I decided to take MRT instead of bus that day because I just felt like doing so, and Shaowei happened to take MRT as well because he got his bike crashed. He is currently an Outlet Manager for BATA, and so, with a little bit of spare time on my hands, I went to lim kopi with him at City Hall.

Great to hear that he is doing really well right now, with $3,000+ monthly after CPF contributions and employees’ wages. The best part is BATA is currently looking out for more Oulet Managers still. I’ve decided to give it a shot, this was when “Home Brewing” jumped upon me.

~

I went to The Pump Room on one of my client visits the next day, and I was wondering, “What is this fragrance that filled a bar on such a sunny afternoon?” I looked around and I saw a microbrewery, an Ang Moh, and a Burmese (which I later on found out because I can only tell that he is brown). My manager decided to use their laptop to do some urgent matters after meeting up with Chef Eddie. So with this short little free time of mine, I approached them, and asked this question which eventually changed my life from a living dead, to the happy and excited boy I am now. The 1 million dollar question was, “Hey dude, sorry to interrupt you man, but is it possible if I were to brew my own beer at home?”

His answer was… “Yeah dude, that’s how I started.”

“I came from the States.” Well… This is not really important tho.

It struck me like a baseball bat swinging full-fucking-force from an international star striker. I can feel my heart floating and my blood speeding through my veins. I WILL FUCKING DO THIS MAN. This is like the coolest shit that ever happened to me ever since I met my girlfriend (she is still as cool don’t get me wrong). He gave me a few websites to start off with, and here I am, with a home brewing kit in my room...

I started brewing my own beer.

I will talk about how I met Neo Say Wee, Brewerks’ brewer, in my next post. For now I gotta run.
Ciaos dudes.

New Front, New Hobby, New Resolve, New Dream.

2011-03-07T15:57:00.001+08:00

It has been awhile ain’t it? From my posting as “I Am Shrek Actually” until now.

Just want to record something down in the form of blogging so I won’t forget anything I’m doing for now. Home Brewing. You guessed it. It’s my new found hobby and er… I’m gonna keep track of how I’m pulling it off right here. I’ve even changed my URL and description. Motivated ain’t I?

I didn’t managed to take alot of constructive photos because I had it all bad-planned out I supposed, but I have pictures of me with my home brewing kit. My girlfriend paid half for it, so don’t go confused when occasionally you see a cute little girl among the photos. I promise I will take the whole process down the next time round.

I will talk about how I find this new hobby in my next post because now, when my memory is still fresh, I shall key down some notes worth remembering.

1) I paid $5.50 for a carton of 12 x 1.5 Litres Cactus Mineral Water from ShengSiong.
2) I will be using the come-with-it Dextrose, China Honey Sugar, and pure Sugar Cane Sugar for my 2nd stage fermentation.
3) I brewed at on 6th March 2011. At around 6pm.
4) Try special flavouring for the next brew.
5) My watch is still at Bishan Stadium’s gym.

Sorry to make use of this chance to include the 5th point, but that watch basically costs $350+ and I really think that I should get it back at some point of my life.

Anyway I’m going to sleep now, abit abrupt, no choice, my office is in Tuas and I stay like 1 hour and 40 mins bus ride away from Tuas. Good night fabulous friends.