Just funs

Emerging of the new economy

2009-11-19T02:43:00.001-08:00

INFOSYSism
You have a 1000 poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, & send them
one at a time to the US for milking.

WIPROism
GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.

SATYAMism
You have a cow. You have its milk. But don't know what to do with it!

DELLism
Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both & sell it as
Cow's milk.

IBMism
You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to innocent
small businessmen.

MICROSOFTism
You have a cow. Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million
dollars to feed poorer cows.

SUNism
You have a bull. It doesn't give milk. You hate Microsoft.

ORACLEism
You have a cow. You don't know which side to milk, so you sell tools
to help milk cows.

SAPism
You don't have a cow You sell milking solutions for cows implemented
by milking consultants.

APPLEism
You have a cow. You sell iMilk.

SONYism
You have a cow. You spend $50 mn to develop the world's thinnest milk.

CITIBANKism
Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow, press 1. If you have a bull,
press 2...stay on line if you'd like our customer care to milk it for
you.

HPism
You don't know if what you have is a cow. You sell complete milking
solutions through authorised resellers only.

GEism
You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If
someone finds out, that's his imagination at work.

RELIANCEism
You don't yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501,
because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk.

TATAism
You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as TATA Indicow.

Is that our life?

2009-11-12T23:55:00.001-08:00

What is marriage?

2009-11-12T23:53:00.001-08:00

Some quotes to ponder upon

2009-11-10T19:30:00.001-08:00

Children of Next Generation

2009-10-29T03:50:00.001-07:00

horses...no hores

2009-10-29T03:23:00.001-07:00

Why do women live longer than men?

2009-10-26T01:33:00.001-07:00

How can a student pass?

2009-10-25T10:14:00.001-07:00

It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY
has 365' days.

Typical academic year for a student:

1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.

3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE..
Days left 141.

4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days.
Days left 126.

5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly &
swallowing)-means 30days.
Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days
Days left 81.

7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days.
Days left 46.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days.
Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness- at least 3 days.
Remaining days=3.

10. Movies and functions- at least 2 days.
1 day left.

11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day??????!!!!!!!!!!
Balance = 0

"How can a student pass ?????"

Couple Joke

2009-10-25T10:11:00.001-07:00

A couple went to the sex therapists office at Hospital.

The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"

The man said, "Will you watch us having sex, for your expert analysis?"

The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.

When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with
the way you have intercourse," and charged them Rs.300.

This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an
Appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor and
Then leave.

Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"

The man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married
And we can't go to her house - I'm married and we can't go to my
house.

Cinnamon Grand (Hotel)charges Rs. 10,000, Taj(Hotel) charges
Rs.7,000,Galadari(Hotel) charges Rs.6000.

We do it here for Rs.300

and I get that back from Medical Claim ..............

Creative and Funny Toilet Signs

2009-10-13T02:55:00.001-07:00

How They Make Hand Bag, MUST SEE...........

2009-10-12T21:05:00.001-07:00

Root Cause Analysis of Swine Flu

2009-10-12T21:04:00.001-07:00

Is that?

Growing old is not for wimps.....

2009-10-11T08:44:00.001-07:00

LOL

Smoking Room

2009-10-09T02:42:00.001-07:00

We know that, don't we?

Swine flu Joke

2009-10-07T21:22:00.001-07:00

A Lion goes up to a Pig and Says - "I roar and the Jungle trembles......."
The Pig grins cheekily and says - "Times are changing old chap, I
sneeze and the world trembles !!!!!!!"

Amazing Toothpicks

2009-10-07T20:54:00.001-07:00

I wonder how people manage to work so hard.

SQL style invitation

2009-10-07T12:53:00.001-07:00

Marriage invitation by some Database Geeks, not invented by me, the recipient.
*
**
CREATE PROCEDURE** MyMarriage
@**BrideGroom** Char(NotBad),
@**Bride** Char(Good)**
AS* *

SELECT** Bride **FROM**
Brides **
WHERE**
FatherInLaw = 'Millionaire' **AND**
CarCount > 2 **AND**
HouseStatus ='TwoStoreyed' **AND**
BrideEduStatus='PGorAbove' * *
HavingBrothers='NO' **AND**
HavingSisters ='No' **AND**
AllowRelocate ='YES' **AND**
* *

**SELECT** Gold, Cash, Car, BankBalance **FROM** FatherInLaw

**UPDATE** MyBankAccout **SET** MyBal = MyBal + FatherinLawBal* *
**UPDATE** MyLocker **SET** MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents +
FatherinLawGold
**
INSERT INTO** MyCarShed **VALUES** ('Ford')*

2 little boys

2009-10-07T12:21:00.001-07:00

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?!"

The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time.

(I just LOVE reading this next line again and again)

"GOD is missing, and they think we did it!"

Rush Job Calendar

2009-10-07T12:16:00.001-07:00

That's what i call My Calendar.