This post is being published while I’m hanging out in India. I’ll make a quick report when I get home.

So, I didn’t plan too well ahead, so I have to admit it; this post is really rushed.

I just wanted to link to some of the blogs that I have been reading, so you don’t have to hunger for great content while I am away…

Hope you find it useful!

David Wygant - A wonderful guy with a great and fun blog on dating. Lots of tips, thoughts, podcasts and videos on here. A must read for me!

Stronglifts - A blog on strength training. Mehdi’s advice is all about getting stronger, and living a healthier life. Also lots of free videos on how to correctly do exercises.

Urbanmonk - Albert writes on spirituality and personal development. He shares a lot of great story’s, and generally has a lot of wise things to say. Comments are a must, too!

Yangtown - Another “spiritual” blog, but with a more masculine approach. Emotional strength, opening your heart, confidence, integrity, power. Also offers a great ebook for free.

TSB Magazine - “A modern man’s resource”. I read this mainly for the entertainment, but they do offer some great posts once in a while.

These are the 5 blogs that I read most regularly at the moment, but it changes a lot. I think I have like 80 blogs in my feed reader, so I read a lot.

Hope you’ll enjoy these, and I’ll respond to all comments and emails when I get home around the 18th of July!

Have a great summer everyone,
Alex

You’re standing there, shaking. You’re mind is entirely blocked out. Sweating. Your tongue won’t let you speak. Heart rate rising. The world moves very fast, or very slow. Muscles are tight.

Fear. It’s a strange thing. Few things provoke such strong physical reactions.

It can be the worst thing in the world. But it doesn’t have to be… Read on.

Before we can use it, we have to know what causes it.

What is fear?

Chemicals such as adrenaline and the stress hormone cortisol are released into the blood stream causing certain physical reactions such as:

• More sweating
• Blood pressure rises
• Tightening of muscles
• Rapid heart rate
• Sharpened or redirected senses

All these reactions are protective mechanisms to increase our chances of survival.

When speaking of human mechanisms, you can always go back to when we “lived in caves” to find the use and cause.

We often experience fear when we are found in a situation that can lead to death. Because as humans, we basically only have one goal: To survive.

The best way to do that is to reproduce, because no one lives forever. And you can’t reproduce when you’re dead, right? (Yet…)

Great, so we know we have to survive. Our body helps us with that in “dangerous” situations.

But when it comes to daily life, fear doesn’t help us much. It holds us back.

A social situation that can make lots of guys get all anxious is to walk up to a girl and start a conversation.

Kiss your fear goodnight

We’re able to climb mountains, ride cars with 250km/h, travel to the moon, you get the drill…

But most guys aren’t even able to walk up to a cute girl and say hi! Amazing, isn’t it?

The first thing you have to get into place to make that happen is to really want it. Make a commitment to it. Get really motivated.

Say to yourself one day, “I’m going to get out, find a cute girl, and talk to her”. Really feel that you’re going to do it. Picture a conversation in your head.

Maybe it wasn’t harder than that. Maybe you did it right away. If yes, great!

But, maybe you freezed, or made up some dumb excuse to not talk to her. Maybe you felt that there wasn’t “any girls worth talking to”. There are lots of maybes.

If you did go out and meet someone, then this post really isn’t directed at you. You’re doing great! Getting over “approach anxiety” is a really important step in getting success with women.

Let’s take a look at those who did not do it. I was one of them for quite a few years.

Not too long ago, I would rather take a bullet than walk up to a stranger. Today is a little different…

The first step is to admit to yourself that you were afraid. You looked fear in he’s eyes, and you lost. That’s cool though, just admit it.

Drop all the excuses; it’s just your ego protecting you.

Really look into what you felt at the moment you saw a woman you wanted to talk to. What did you think? Did you see or feel any signs of fear, such as a faster heartbeat?

The next time you give it a shot, try to just let it all in. Let the fear in completely, don’t try to fight it or hold it back. If you’re able to do this, it won’t take long before you make your first approach.

Easy exercise if you want to meet women on the street

Ask for the time.

Notice how you’re acting when you’re about to do something as non-threatening as asking for the time.

You will probably start out by saying “excuse me” to stop people. This works well in this scenario, but I do not advice it for stopping girls in general. It shows weakness. Why should you excuse for yourself?

After you have become comfortable with asking for the time, practice going up and saying “Hi! What’s the clock?”

Try not to excuse yourself. This is a bad habit to get into if you want to approach and attract women.

When you start out like this, it shouldn’t be too hard to start conversations with girls after a while. Try to do it one day. Again, notice all your thoughts and feelings. Let all the fear in.

Really try to approach no matter what your body is telling you. This is the only real way to overcome approach anxiety. Look fear in the eyes, and beat it.

Try it, and let me know how it goes!

Get free dating and approaching tips by email. Click here!

By the way, I am leaving to India tomorrow night. The next post will be published while I am away. So no responding to emails/comments from the 1st july to the 18th. Wish me a good trip guys!

Image #1 by haniamir, #2 by ucumari.

OK, so you want to get good with the ladies? Maybe even great? It takes practice, you know that.

You also know it won’t come overnight. It will take time.

So why are you only talking to girls on Friday and Saturday nights?!

By only talking to women on two days of the week, you’re significantly cutting down your chances of meeting someone amazing - and gaining a lot less practice!

Most of us see beautiful women on a daily basis. Might be a girl on the bus, in the supermarket, on the street, in a fashion store, it doesn’t matter.

So why are you only talking to girls on Friday and Saturday nights?!

This post might not be directed at you. Maybe you talk to women every day. Maybe you haven’t ever “approached” someone. But please, read on. You’ll learn something anyway.

Meeting women everywhere

When I first started out trying to meet women, I would only do it on the weekends. I thought that this was just the way it was supposed to work. I didn’t understand that there are no “rules” when it comes to dating. You make the rules.

I did think about approaching on the street. But not for many seconds at a time. I thought to myself that “she might be doing something important”, “she’s in a hurry” or some other wuss explanation I made up.

It’s not too long ago I realized that she would be lucky to meet me!

Of course I can take a minute out of her day. I might be the best thing ever happening to her.

And if she doesn’t agree? What if she has to do something really important and is in a hurry?

We will both just walk away, simple as that. At least I tried.

Did you try? What did you do the last time you saw a gorgeous lady? My bet is that you didn’t do anything. You just walked on.

You let her walk right out of your life.

Let go of your excuses

Realize that by just letting go of your excuses, you could be dating 10 times as much.

This really is “the secret” when it comes to dating. Having no excuses and making your own rules.

So what are you going to do the next time you see someone you would like to meet? Go up and say hi. Observe something. Comment on something. Get to know her. Listen.

Don’t just walk away. Don’t make excuses.

I promise you, it will be worth your time. And you’ll be worth hers.

Try it, and let me know what happens.

Image by Thomas Hawk.

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I predict that in your life, you have around 25.000 days to live. That’s 613.000 hours.

Almost half of your life you’re asleep. That’s 400.000 hours left.

Working. 250.000 hours left.

And driving. 200.000 hours left.

OK, I admit it. I almost made these numbers up. Of course some people drive to work more than others, but they do have one foot in reality. What do you spend your time on?

I know for sure that very few people lay on their death bed saying “Oh darn, I wish I worked more and spent less time on my family”.

And I also know that all this is nothing new. But it’s the mindset that’s important here.

Time doesn’t wait

That’s OK because I don’t wait for time

If you must do something, do it now. You never know if there’s a tomorrow.

Sometimes things need some thought and reflection to work. The important thing is just to do things with a goal in mind.

I try to live by the rule of always doing my best. I don’t really have any time to waste, so why not do what I can while I still can?

Every workout, every interaction, every everything, I do my best. And if it’s not good enough, I learn from it.

And that’s one of the biggest wonders in life. We’re all on a journey, life is one big education. As I’ve said before, if you learn something from something, you haven’t “lost” a thing. You have grown.

And that’s what “positive thinking” is all about for me; seeing the good side of the bad. Every coin has two sides you know…

Wait! How does all of this relate to dating?

Now I’m going to come out and say something a little provoking: Everything relates to dating!

Because dating in itself means nothing. Let me explain: We all have some higher goal. For most people it is about being happy.

And that’s probably why you’re reading this. On some level, you want to be happy. Dating beautiful women is just one way to get there.

The core of most dating advice is to get your life handled. It’s a process, and learning “dating science” is one big development. On the way, you’re going to get other parts of your life handled too. It’s natural.

As a human, you’re smart enough to relate. You can see why A relates to B. Even if you’ve never encountered problem B, you can use the knowledge you gained from solving problem A to solve B.

In the dating world, it’s often called Inner Game. It’s the games that run inside of your mind. It’s how you react to new situations. It’s how you think and reflect. It’s the voice, not the words.
You can learn all of the lines and routines in the world, but there will always be something you’re not prepared to deal with. With all the lines and routines you can entertain her for 30 minutes… Then what?

Gaining the right beliefs and right mindsets is alfa-omega when it comes to getting the part of your life handled that’s called “Women and Se.x.”

Lately, there has been a shift in the whole “seduction community”. People have begun to realize that dating itself is only the tip of the iceberg. To get really good, you need to get your inner game handled. You need to get your whole life handled.

It’s really all about being a man. And maybe not just A man. THE man.

Do what you love, I know I do

One way to getting your life handled is to do things that you love. Don’t spend too much time on things that doesn’t mean anything to you.

Personally, one of the things that I do is to eat only quality food. I don’t spend time and money and things that I don’t like and that aren’t good for me.

I try to cook all of my meals myself, and I love cooking just as much as I enjoy eating.

And while I’m cooking, I listen to music. Music is also one of my big passions.

I don’t spend time watching TV.

When I workout, I love every minute of it. I don’t have time not to love everything I do.

Just reading through what I just wrote, I realize that I may sound like some hippie-jesus type that’s always 100% happy.

But that’s far from the truth. When I’m sad, I’m sad. Even when I feel bad, I do it with my best.

Being sick is a part of life. I don’t want to distract myself from it. When I’m sick, I’m sick. When you’re feeling bad, you kind of take a step back and review your life, and I think that’s fantastic.

When I workout, I also really like to feel the pain. I don’t want to distract myself from one of life’s joys - to live, and to feel that I am alive!

I really live through my emotions, and my emotions live through me.

So this is basically just a reminder to everyone: Don’t ever forget that you’re alive. You’re incredibly lucky to be so.

How about you?

Phew, that was a heavy post. I hope that it won’t be misunderstood. If there’s anything that sounds strange or something you’d like more info on, just ask. I’m open to any kind of questions!

And I’d also like to know more about you. What are your goals? How do you live? What do you spend your time on?

Let me hear your thoughts.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the comment section is now open!

Image #1, #2 and #3 by Shutterhack, Karsten W. and LundaDiRimeel.

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Odds say that 53% of men is eyeing up a work colleague. That includes you.

But a lot of these guys don’t take any action, because lets be frank; we don’t want to embarrass ourselves in front of the whole company.

And you might lose your job. Maybe she might. Maybe you like it the way you can talk friendly to each other right now, and you don’t want any sour feelings between you.

There are 100’s of excuses and fears for not trying. But they don’t get you anywhere.

So let’s get down to business and see how you can approach her with minimum embarrassment and maximum results.

The how-to of dating women at work

• Get to know her in a casual way. As some wise guy once said, “start by laying the foundations”. This is very important when it comes to dating a work girl. Smoothly start to make small talk with her at the water cooler. Talk to her casually at lunch. Simply make sure that she knows your name and who you are.
• See her outside of work. Now that she knows who you are and you (may) have some friends in common, what would be more natural than grabbing a beer after work? Take 5-6 colleagues (including her) to a bar one day for a happy hour. Have fun! Be the guy that she would want to be with. Don’t flirt too heavily though, it’s best that she doesn’t know your dark intentions yet. This way there’s no pressure. At the bar, you can play a cute game with her. Remember that entertainment and fun is the most valuable values you can possess. So be fun, and have fun!
• Be alone with her. This is the natural next step. If you enjoy her company, and she enjoys yours, you should get to know each other better. Don’t go overboard with things just yet, take it easy. Casually ask her what she is doing for lunch one day, or do a project together. Maybe just meet up with her at the coffee machine for a five minute conversation. It’s important that it’s just you and her, as she will most likely start to see you in a slightly new light afterwards. Also, if she has had some dirty thoughts about you, being alone with you confirms to her that there aren’t going to be awkward silence when it’s just you two, which may have held her back. Remember this: It’s not a date. It’s just two co-workers having lunch. Keep it light!
• Check your progress. When you, her, and a bunch of colleagues are out together, how does she act? Does she keep coming over to you, talking to you, drinking with you, touching you? (Such as placing her hand on your arm, or your shoulder.) If yes, it’s time to go further. If she is interested in you (romantically), you should definitely go for it. If not, you have three options. Number one is to give up. If you and her isn’t going anywhere, this might be a good one. Don’t spend too much time or energy on one girl. Don’t stop talking to her altogether, just cool down a little. Number two is to keep doing what you’re doing. If you’re making slow but steady progress, this is a good idea. Just move things forward slowly. If you’re not, Number 3 is to change your approach. Do something new and different. If what you’re doing doesn’t work, do something else.
• Ask her out. If everything has been going as it should, asking her out should be easy as cake. You want to get to know her better, and you feel attracted to each other. Go get her tiger!

With this approach, you run (almost) no chances. Until you’re sure that you get positive signs from her, you keep it very fun and friendly.

But when the signs do come, you turn it up a notch. Nothing too heavily, especially not in front of your work mates, but make sure to always more forward. Remember the “Two steps forward, one step back” rule.

Following these simple tips, you shouldn’t have a hard time dating girls from work. The most important things to remember is to keep it fun, keep it light and keep it casual. Make it really natural and flowing, and lay off all pressure so it won’t get awkward.

There are no limitations

No practical post without a little bit of motivational speak…

Remember that “time never waits”. Our bodies change every second. We get older. The world moves on. So don’t be afraid of change!

Give it a chance. Don’t ever disregard anything without giving it a fair shot.

No girl is “out of your league”. Don’t ever worry about what life “would be like”. Try to live and take action instead. Your best is always enough. It’s better than enough.

Good luck soldier!
Alex

Field reports from the hard environment of the office is highly encouraged. Have a sweet love story that started at work? Maybe the opposite? Post in the comments!

You never know exactly when I post. So stop spending time checking in and start using RSS. I’ll send you my post by email when I publish something. Promise!

Image by chaos ensues.

10 years ago, if someone asked me “should I bring flowers on the first date?” I would have said yes without hesitation. Today I discourage it.

I thought that by giving a woman gifts, and by complimenting her on her looks, I would make her like me.

Oh boy, was I wrong. I just didn’t get it at the time. Date after date, I made the same mistakes over and over again.

I would show up early, waiting for her, and when she finally came, I would be over-excited. I would give her flowers, compliment her all night long, buy her dinner, and in every possible way kiss up to her.

But somehow, the dates didn’t lead very far. If I was lucky all I got was a kiss at the end of the night! It makes me cringe just to think about it…

Now I see very clearly what was wrong. I was a complete and total wuss. Read up on the post Why Bad Boys get all the Hot Women, and Nice Guys don’t even get close for a definition of what that is. I was the nice guy of nice guys.

My biggest problem was that I didn’t understand attraction. The word simply didn’t exist in my dating dictionary.

I had no knowledge of female psychology. I had low self-esteem. The list goes on.

Flowers and gifts

Using the knowledge I have now, I know that I freaked the girls out. It was *too much*. It was *too early*.

And that’s where the gifts and flowers step in.

See, I thought that by giving a woman gifts, she would like me more. She would think that I was generous, sweet, and all these words that I linked to gaining a woman’s love.

But instead, the complete opposite happened. On the outside, she would become happy. She would hug me, smile, and say thanks.

On the inside, she was hugely disappointed. I killed the attraction. All women basically wants to be attracted to you. They want to fall in love. They want to have amazing relationships.

Your job is to let that happen. Don’t give her an excuse for not liking you. (Such as showing you’re a wussy in such a way as bringing her flowers to a first date.)

Look at it this way: All women in the world are attracted to you before you go talk to them. When you start talking, she will try to find all kinds of reasons why you’re not right. If she can’t find any, she’s almost automatically going to “like you”.

Of course there’s more to making a woman like you, but basically you just have to not give her any reasons to not.

Common attraction killers

• Bringing flowers on a first date.
• Killing “the chase” by calling her or texting her too much.
• Complimenting her on her looks before you know her personality. A sincere compliment can be hugely attractive, but only in the right context.
• Being too available. (Thus killing “the chase”).
• Being predictable and boring.

What I mean by “the chase” is that a woman wants to chase you. She highly enjoys it, but you have to let her do it. Don’t ever stand in the way of letting a woman chase you.

It’s often called “Two steps forward, one step back“, and it’s one of the most important things you must learn to have great success with women.

Going two steps forward, and one step back shows that you understand female psychology. It shows that you are pre-selected. It shows that you are confident. It shows all the right things in the right way. It’s a little like Cocky and Funny.

So what I want you to do now is to reflect on your last three dates. What went wrong, and why? Don’t get all sad about it, see it as a learning experience.

If you can, get back to me with your results, and we can talk about how to fix it before your next date.

In one of the following posts, I want to talk about amplifying attraction, which is amazingly effective if done right.

That wraps it up for today. Show some love in the comments. Feedback and Discussion are HIGHLY encouraged; it’s what makes this blog alive! :)

If you haven’t already, I would also like you to Subscribe by Email. That way you’ll get all the new posts when I publish them.

Take care guys!

Your friend,
Alex Kay.

Image by freshballs.

Oh man, she was an 8.5!

The grading system. Most of us know it, many of us use it. Rating girls from numbers 1-10 based on their looks…

Isn’t it extremely childish? I think so.

Whenever I hear a man talking about that 6, 7, or the rare 10, I just shake my head. Ratings girls is for boys. Not for men.

Because grading is really all about acceptance. You only get high-fived by your pals if she’s an “8″.

Seeking others acceptance is a bad trait. It’s a big red sign of insecurity. And what’s the opposite of insecurity? Confidence.

And what is the number one trait that women look after in a man? Right. Confidence.

My 9.2 could be your 7.6

Just because you think that someone looks good doesn’t mean that I will. And that’s another flaw of this “system”.

Because really, who cares about what I think about the girl that you like?

Stop all the grading and rating.

Numbers are great for calendars. Numbers dictate a lot of stuff in our lives.

But they shouldn’t have anything to say about who we choose to be with!

So I present to you a new system

It’s so revolutionary, you can’t even imagine.

What about grading girls by a yes, a maybe or a no?

If she’s a yes, go get her tiger.

If she’s a no, don’t worry about her.

But if she’s a maybe - you have to change her to either a yes or a no! And how do you do that?

You go over and talk to her!

Simple as that. Find out if she’s a yes or a no. How will you ever know anyway? Going over to talk to her is the only way to be sure. She might have a great personality, a smile you didn’t notice right away, or something else.

If you have talked for a little while, and still isn’t sure, just get her number. Take her out to coffee someday day and continue the conversation. It really is that easy.

What do you think?

Let’s start up a little discussion in the comments - Is it childish, or is it perfectly OK to rate girls?

If yes, why?

Image by max.

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* The “yes, maybe, no” system was not “invented” by me. I first heard it in a David Wygant podcast.

So we all know that movies can be great entertainment. With a friend, with a girl, with yourself, whatever.

But they can also be an incredibly useful learning tool - you just have to know what you’re looking for.

So I have dugg out 2 movies for your to watch.

The guys in them all have one thing in common - they are naturals when it comes to attracting and seducing women.

Casino Royale

The latest James Bond flick. Babes, action and poker. What more can you ask from a movie? James bond is über cool from start to end, and he delivers a lot of invaluable lines and a lot of cocky attitude. On top of that, Daniel Craig also plays the role surprisingly well.

Pay speciel attention to… The scene where James offers to drive that spanish-looking girl home. He takes her out to his car, drives around in a circle, and ends up… sleeping with her. The whole driving scene is priceless, I can’t remember exactly what he said, but I do remember laughing my ass off.

The scene with Vesper (Eva Green) at the check-in at the Casino (Royale) also shows off some pretty good examples of the bad boy attitude. Their first meet up in the train is also great.

Daniel Craig’s clothing is also something to look out for. I’m not sure if you can handle the speedos, but the rest of it is top-notch. Laid back, cool and classy. I especially like the polo that he’s wearing while he’s in Italy - you can check it out here.

Ocean’s Eleven

George Clooney plans to rob 160$ millions, from a casino vault better protected than most nuclear silos. And get Julia Roberts while at it.

Pay speciel attention to… Every scene with Brad Pitt. His attitude and lines are some of the best I’ve ever seen in a movie.

Every scene with Brad Pitt and George Clooney together. Take notice of their body language and the way that they speak. Long pauses added for mystery and coolness-factor.

The way that Brad Pitt always seems to be eating. His hands are never completely dead, always doing something.

The way that they use eye contact. Especially George Clooney when he is talking to his (ex) wife. Always warmth in his eyes and a sly smile on his mouth.

Basically every scene in the movie can teach you something, if you look after the right things at the right moments. Terry Benedict is also kind of bad ass. In a mafia kind of way. I like his style.

“Tess (Julia Roberts): You know what your problem is?
Danny (George Clooney): I only have one?”

Bonus movie:

Wedding Crashers

I just saw this today, and I thought I should share something with you.

It’s a technique Vince Vaughn uses when he is about to kiss a hot redhead for the first time.

The scene is at the beach, about half an hour into the movie.

It’s basically him saying that we’re all “one”, and therefor our bodies are all the same. He takes her hand and says that her hand is his hand… Bla bla bla, you’ll have to see the movie for the rest.

It looks pretty effective, I’ll have to try it out sometime.

Wedding Crashers by the way is hilarious, if you haven’t seen it, I suggest you do. Whether you care about a “kissing technique” or not.

So go out, rent the movies, and learn while you’re getting entertained. Simple as that.

Rock hard,
Alex

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Photo by dotspiral.

A bad boy is sexy. There’s something about that sly smile; that look in his eyes. He just turns women on wherever he looks.

He moves like an alpha male in the animal kingdom: Relaxed and confident. Almost too relaxed. Almost too confident.

So what exactly defines a bad boy?

In its most simple definition, a bad boy is someone who works outside the norms of society. He doesn’t follow rules, he f**king makes them himself!

It’s really all about the mindset; the attitude. He just doesn’t give a damn.

A bad boy is also incredibly unpredictable. One moment he might be your best friend; the next you’re outside getting your ass kicked. For no reason at all.

His looks witness his personality; adventurous, unpredictable, raw. Exactly what he wears doesn’t matter - it’s the way he wears it that counts.

Typical bad boy traits:

• He always put himself first.
• Does what he wants, whenever he wants.
• He’s extremely arrogant.
• Abuse the people around him.
• He’s really dominant
• Create a lot of drama.
• Has high masculinty.
• Has very high sexual confidence, and he knows how to please a woman.
• He’s dangerous, and you never really know where you have him.
• Lead an exciting life.
• Gets a lot of girls.

And it’s that last trait that’s interesting. Bad boys generally get lots of girls. And even though they treat them like sh*t, they keep coming back… Because the sex is so exciting. And not only the sex:

Everything about the bad boy is exciting. Being with one is like riding a giant roller coaster for a woman; there are incredible emotional highs, and there are incredible emotional lows.

Wussies and nice guys

Wussies on the other hand, are almost the exact opposite. In “pick up glossary”, a wussy can also be called an “AFC” - an Average Frustrated Chump. You could also call him a needy guy, or a nice guy, whatever works for you.

Nice guys generally don’t get girls. And when most nice guys do get laid, they often refer to it as “getting lucky”.

Typical nice guy traits:

• He’s available all the time.
• dresses “nice”.
• Only talks about “death topics” (family, politics, economy etc.)
• Calls 27 times a day, and leaves “cute messages” in her voicemail.
• Compliments her all day long (mostly on her looks)
• His bodylanguage is “stiff” (center of gravity in the middle, arms hanging pointlessly at the sides)
• Never takes risks.
• He is dependable, and she always knows exactly where she haves him.
• Always shows up 10 minutes early.
• Live a boring, predictable life.
• Doesn’t get a lot of girls. Few to none actually.
• And when he does, she usually ends it with the “let’s just be friends” phrase.

Said in simpler words, a wussy is boring as hell.

And who wants boring? I know for sure that I don’t. My life is too short for boring.

What women really want

A lot of girls feel the same. They want entertainment, someone to have fun with, someone to excite them. They want drama, someone to make them feel!

Most guys don’t make women feel anything else than plain boredom.

If she feels like she’s in complete control over the situation, if there’s no element of excitement, no surprises and if you’re so predictable, she actually knows what you’re going to do before you do it, you become boring. Booooring I tell you.
Don’t let that happen!

So now we have the definitions of both a bad boy and a wussy (or a nice guy).

My guess is that, since you’re reading this, you’re interested in having more success with women.

You know from your own life that lots of the bad guys often get the good girls. Now you have more of an idea why that is.

But you don’t want to turn into an abusive jerk just to get good with women, right? That probably wouldn’t work anyway.

So we have to find a better solution…

What about taking all the good stuff from the bad boys, and ditching all the negative?

Wouldn’t that create the perfect man? I certainly think so.

Because there usually are a lot of negative things to say about the typical bad boy.

He’s usually very paranoid. He is over-protective, controlling, jealous, and basically wants to keep her for himself. These are very negative traits, since trust and respect are the building stones for every successful relationship.

He’s mentally unstable. He’s inconsiderable, selfish and abusive. And once again, the list could go on and on.

Then what IS so sexy about the bad boy?

Most women become addicted. Addicted to the drama, addicted to the amazing sex, addicted to his masculinity and confidence.

For high self-esteem women, one day she can’t take it anymore. She decides to leave, the drama has become too much.

For low self-esteem women on the other hand, they often stick to him like flies stick to flypaper. A lot of women end up getting married to bad boys.

Enough about the bad boys…

Let’s focus on making you better.

The first step is to realize your “bad” nice guy traits, and why they just don’t cut it.

For this to happen, you have to gain some knowledge on female psychology. (There should be a lot of info on this site… Also check out the book review of “double your dating”, where David spends a great deal of time talking about just that.)

The next step is to eliminate your bad traits. This is easier said than done. If you have been a wussy all your life, knocking him out of you easily can take some time, and it needs a lot of self-realization.

At the third step it’s time to pick up some new traits.

The balance between bad boy and nice guy looks something like this:

• You are dominant without being domineering.
• You are masculine without being macho.
• You are forthright and trustworthy.
• You are considerate without being placating.
• You are strong yet gentle.
• You are mysterious without being deceiving.
• You are exciting without being reckless.
• You are sexually exciting in the bedroom and a gentleman in the living room.

-David Shade.

I think this explains my point pretty damn good.

Work on creating a more exciting life and personality, work on your confidence, work on your skills… That’s a pretty good start.

Being “the man” is all about being yourself, about being the best you.

Learn from the bad boys, but be careful not picking up their negative traits on the way. That’s the lesson from today guys.

This is a topic I will be writing more about in the future, so stay tuned. And please don’t hesitate to ask in the comments if you have any questions.

To your success with women,
Alex Kay

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Photo #1, #2 and #3 by Azzazello, dlemieux and julianrod.

I know what kind of issues most of you have, and I also know how to help you.

That’s why I have created the Beginners Guide.

Simply put, it’s a page where I have grouped my articles under subjects, I am going to have some links to other resources (books, audios, videos etc.) and other stuff that might help you guys.

So hop over and check it out!

If you have any ideas, feel free to write them here in the comments.