Now, I know that it’s only some of you who are undergoing an education at the moment, but this post is not written for the masses, it’s written for those who are at college, in high-school, or some place else where there are many young, bright people seeing one another almost every day.

This is also the reason why it’s a different approach to get popular with the girls in a place like this, than let’s say for example at a bar. At a bar you can be anyone you want to be for a night; at a school people see you all the time, and will most likely get a pretty broad picture of you.

For a guy with his game together, getting seen everyday will only help to establish his strong character and identity. For the more silent, introverted type that doesn’t get noticed much and doesn’t have a lot of friends, the opposite will happen. It’s either a positive or a negative spiral.

Now with that said, let us look at what characterizes a place like college regarding dating and girls:

• First of all, there are generally A LOT of girls. In many high-schools and colleges, the women to men ratio can be as high as 60/40.
• Many of these girls are both smart and attractive. Lucrative combination if you ask me!
• People at colleges usually take on the herd mentality very fast, and flock together to protect themselves from the evil of being known as a loner, a freak or something even worse.
• The most popular guys become more popular due to people wanting to be close to those who are popular. More equals more, and less equals less.
• Young people (aged around 15-25) usually want more than anything to have FUN. If you have fun, if you are fun or if you manage to create fun, people will naturally want to be around you. And remember what happens to those people who people want to hang around? They become even more popular.

The key to popularity

The key to gaining popularity in college is to always have fun. Or at least appear to!

If you have a lot of great friends with whom you have fun with, you and your friends will be like a huge magnet to girls, who can be nothing but drawn to you.

Fun in this sense is not about walking around and telling dirty jokes or laughing at your own intern stuff; it’s more like creating these events where people can join in and feel like they’re a part of something.

Small and big events

Small competitions like arm wresting at lunch or drinking games at parties can be very successful at drawing in a crowd and establishing you as a leader.

Throwing your own party can definitely also achieve this; just as holding a warm-up before going out or inviting people to a bowling event or something similar. It can be anything as long as it involves other people and makes them and you have a good time.

If you don’t have anyone to do these things with, it’s a little harder. Without a friend circle to start with, creating one of these events is not easy.

Be the guy you’d want to be friends with

That is why you also have to be really friendly to everyone all the time, too. Smile and greet everyone you meet and make casual conversation with as many people as you can. Flirt with the girls without being creepy, and hug and kiss them as much as possible. What we are shooting for here is to become that guy everybody knows and likes. Sure, you can’t please everybody, but don’t deliberately insult anyone.

Inspiration

I got the inspiration for this article on the forums in a thread called Back to School.

The first thing I thought of was Mark Redman, and how I have been a fool to hide him from you. Now who the hell is Mark Redman? He is the author of the book Conquer Your Campus, the most awesome book on being the king of your campus ever written. Read and apply it, and I can guarantee you that you will soon become the state university’s most notorious player. Check it out here!

Start building your friend circle

Getting into sports can be a good idea if you need a starting point; so can anything else that brings people together naturally at your institution. It can be the school musical, the school band or anything of that kind. Talking to people this way and bonding with them can really help you get to the point where you can create events and have a whole lot of fun.

I put help in italics since all this stuff is not about getting girls by itself, it’s more about creating a life for yourself where you have fun and have a lot of great friends and do all the crazy stuff associated with the ‘best years of your life’. When you manage to do those things, girls seem to magically follow.

Wrap up and conclusion

So to wrap it up, it’s all about having and creating fun. Everybody wants to be a part of something in college or at school, and nobody wants to be known as someone who hasn’t got any friends.

To become the guy people go to to have fun, you have to start out by having some kind of friend circle who you are doing fun stuff with. Bar hopping, parties, events at school; anything goes. Invite new people to these events and be prepared to be a social godfather in your school or at your campus.

Always be really friendly and talk to as many people as possible.

If you manage to do all this, I guarantee you that the girls will be flocking around you like children around candy.

Good luck, stud!
Alex

Image by Ian.

Hello Just Keep the Change, my name is Rob.

I never expected to be one of those guys whose girlfriend ruled his life. Heck, I remember talking with my buddies about a friend or two of ours back in college and how “that would never happen to me”. But a demanding, manipulative girlfriend can sneak up on you when you’re busy living life, and the next thing you know you’re in a relationship from hell. That’s why happened to me.

Kelli With an “I”

I met Kelli at work, like so many people do, I guess. She was a supervisor in a different department and, I have to admit, that kind of appealed to me. Things were great at first. We kept work in the workplace and there was no reason for our work status to matter. Heck, Kelli’s job was a big plus, because she introduced me to other managers and we got along. If anything, our relationship was helping me make friends at the workplace, and I was a young guy fresh out of college looking to move up.

Love and Romance

Like I said, things were great for the first year. We dated. We had our circle of friends, sort of a different circle of friends from what I was used to. Maybe I was looking for something a little different and more adult. Kelli was a few years my senior, but the age difference wasn’t that big of a deal. We had similar hobbies, similar interests. Even our lives were some pretty parallel: both from suburbia, both from broken homes, both from the same part of the country. We had reasons to relate.

Things were even casual at first. We dated off and on for about 4 or 5 months. I continued to see other people, but nothing much to speak about. Kelli was married to her career. We got along.

Things Take a Turn For the Worst

About five months in, though, we started to get more serious. It all started on Kelli’s 29th birthday. I made sure we had a romantic night. We made love. Maybe she was feeling her age, because we talked seriously about our relationship for the first time. After that, Kelli and I were in a committed relationship. It was something I wanted, too. We clicked.

Even then, things were good for the next half year. Then we started talking engagement and marriage. In hindsight, I realise Kelli was on a time table. Something in her needed to have a fiance, needed to be planning the future, needed to be talking kids and a family life and good schools. Me, I was still in a different place than Kelli, and that’s when I started to pull away. It was subtle at first.

Kelli Changes

That’s when Kelli started to show her other side: demanding, jealous, spiteful. I realized that Kelli was used to getting her way and that she didn’t like being told “no”. I guess being a supervisor does that to you.

Me? I had my doubts, but I also had a year together that was playing tricks with my mind. Kelli and I had had an amazing year together - in many ways, the best year of my dating life. We had been equals in a relationship for most of that year and I was content. Even now, I wanted to remain in the romance: it’s just that Kelli was wanting to go faster than I was. Well, that’s what I thought at the time.

My friends saw it differently. Moving into a new circle of friends, I guess I had lost touch for weeks and sometimes even months on end. When the engagement came about, I naturally wanted Kelli to meet my friends. They weren’t impressed, on either side of the equation. It’s always crazy when two worlds collide, but my friends were astounded I was with what they saw as a bossy, over-critical biyatch. Frankly, they were amazed I put up with Kelli’s act.

A Dramatic Argument

In one dramatic scene, one of my oldest, closest friends (Dustin) took me out for drinks and told me he thought we were co-dependent. I told Dustin my engagement wasn’t any of his damn business. Things got heated. I told him I should come over the table for the way he talked about Kelli. Dustin shot back with “Die tryin’” and walked out of the place.

We didn’t talk for a while. It put a real strain on our friendship. Frankly, I didn’t even know what codependent was, but Dustin got me to thinking. After considering what my buddy had to say, I decided he was right. Something was wrong. I wasn’t in the kind of relationship I wanted to be in.

So there I was, engaged to a woman who was a superior at work, who was friends (or so I thought) with half of my direct managers at work, and who was starting to put all kinds of crazy demands on my time and loyalties. Anytime were were apart for more than an hour, she was calling my Blackberry. She was demanding I “check in” with her at all hours of the night. She didn’t want me seeing my friends, sometimes even my family. Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, I was in a crazy romance.

The Breakup

So we end up going to a party at my sister’s one night. Kelli was never very happy about these kind of get-togethers, but Kelli’s had gutted it out a few times, because my sister would obviously be her sister-in-law soon. My sister, for her part, likes to have a good time at her parties, so she didn’t like to see Kelli coming, because she had made a scene at the previous event.

We get to the party and are having a good time for about an hour. It’s at that point that I see Rachel, a woman I had known through my sister for a couple of years. Rachel and I had had chemistry from the start and I had asked her out when we first met. She was serious with a guy at the time, but had since broken up. Rachel and I would talk at these parties, but we had become friendly acquaintances and I didn’t feel any kind of romantic chemistry.

Kelli didn’t see it that way. She saw me talking with this hottie and I guess she didn’t like the way Rachel looked at me. From what happened later, maybe she sensed something in the way I acted, though there was nothing conscious on my part. Whatever the case, Kelli came over to the two of us and started up her act. She was snotty to Rachel and controlling towards me, trying to put me down or put me in my place or whatever. Rachel isn’t the kind of person to listen to that kind of stuff about someone she likes, so she told Kelli to calm down and stop being a bitch.

The next thing you know, Kelli is leaving the party and telling me to come along. We go outside to her car and have a huge fight. I had had enough. I grew a set and told Kelli our relationship had spiraled out of control. I told her she had changed. She told me she realized she didn’t know me. I replied, “I think it’s obvious we neither one knew one another like we thought.” Then I called off the engagement. Enraged, Kelli spun out down the road.

A First Kiss

So there I was, having made a big scene at the party with my fiance. As they say, the wedding was off. You can imagine walking back into that party (I had no ride) and having to answer all those questions. My sister and her friends wanted to know what had happened, then I had to listen to all my over-served friends tell their Kelli horror stories. Even at that moment, I didn’t want to hear that. Dustin told them they were stupid for saying all those things, since we’d be back together the next day. I told Dustin he was one to talk, but we grinned at each other and knew we were good again.

I went to apologize to Rachel for having to see all that and put up with my controlling ex-fiance. She was real cool about it. We found a quiet place away from everyone and sat and talked for a while. I told Rachel my troubles and she told me she’d been through something similar.

Rachel told me she was “out of there” and offered to drop me off. I accepted. Before I got out of the car, Rachel asked me out sometime, “if I was really through with that girl”. I replied, “I was about to ask you the same question.” Rachel told me that she was definitely through with Kelli. We laughed, then we kissed.

Rob and Rachel Sitting in a Tree

Kelli and I talked a few times about reconciliation, but it was a formality at that point. We both knew it was through. I was afraid I would see repercussions at work, but I eventually realized that Kelli’s personality had rubbed more than me the wrong way. We’re in different parts of the business, which is really good.

Rachel and I eventually started seeing one another. Rachel has some of the same traits I liked about Kelli - she speaks her mind, she’s easy to talk to, she’s gorgeous - without the negative traits. We make a good pair, because we’re equal parts of a couple. Right now, it’s just casual, but I can see it going somewhere eventually. There’s a lot of potential there.

With Rachel, I feel like I traded up.

Happily Yours,
Rob

Note from Alex: Thanks Rob. Now, it might be appropriate to write about what you could learn from the story… But instead, I want to ask you, what’s the lesson? Tell me in the comments! :-)

This guest post was provided by Dating Online, a website offering exclusive reviews of today’s popular dating websites. Dating Online also operates the blog: Dating Zen.

Image one, two and three.

Do you wake up just to go to a shitty job or a boring education, just to survive another day? Or do you wake up filled with happiness, ready to take on the day and its challenges in all its glory?

And I know that we all have both our good and our bad days. But try to look at your life on a greater scale than just the last week or the last month. Are you motivated?

I would really like to know what gets you up and going every single day. Your drive, so to speak. Why do you do what you do? Later on, we’ll dive deeper into this question and explore the exciting realm of beliefs.

Personally, I try to make the world just a little bit better everyday. I don’t take the weight on my shoulders and take responsibility for every bad thing happening to everyone all the time… Nah, that’s not my style.

Make ‘em smile

But I do try to make at least one person’s day just a little bit better, everyday. I usually keep the little sentence “make ‘em smile” in the back of my head when I go through my daily errands. I say that my day is a success if I made just one person smile.

I feel that we are all obliged to improve the world we live in with our best capacity and ability to do so. That’s also one of the reasons that I’m writing this blog: to enhance, fine-tune, boost, upgrade, relieve and contribute to the lives of my fellow men. That means you.

What about you?

And so I would like to know your motivation.

I would like to know what gets you fired up. What gets you through the day. Your dreams and aspirations. Just a paragraph or two, it doesn’t have to be detailed.

The better I know you, the better I can help you, entertain you and create better value for you. So if you just do this one thing for me, I’ll take care of the rest.

It’s actually a pretty simple question :-)

What’s your motivation?
Let me know in the comments.

9.58 seconds - the new world record in the 100m sprint. Possibly the biggest single event in track and field in the last 50 years.

9.58 seconds moves that line for what is possible. It was moved at Usain Bolt’s 9.69, and now he did it again. Only better. 0.11 seconds is the best improvement on the 100m world record since electronic timing entered the scene in 1968.

Now, this may not be a big thing for someone not interested in sports at all, but for us of us who are, it is a big thing. It’s a huge thing.

As this is not a blog about fantastic sports accomplishments (although that would be pretty darn cool), this post is not really about Usain Bolt and his world record.

This post is about hope and breaking (your own) expectations.

Sometimes, something extraordinary happens. For a typical male in the 21st century, it might be a perfect night ending with going home with the queen of the party. It could also be a fantastic job promotion, or experiencing the joy of seeing your son for the first time.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not comparing these events, but they can all feel almost divine or holy. Like you ’suddenly see the light’. Call it religious mumbo-jumbo, I don’t care… Think back, you know what I’m talking about. It comes in different degrees.

Anyway, I like to see that kind moment as a ’sign from god’.
(Ahhh, the superstitious dude talking again, right? Just listen to me for a second and it’ll make sense.)

I like to see those moments as opportunities given by something or someone that is larger than ourselves. A chance or a test, so to speak.

So really, this post is about you grabbing that chance when it opens up to you. It might be a little confusing right now, but I’ll tie the ends together, hang on.

You can also experience that kind of motivation while watching a movie or reading a book - it’s actually quite common. You get filled with a sudden surge or rush of positive thoughts on all kinds of good things you could do right when you get out of the movie theatre, or lay the book away or whatever.

Now it comes together. This is what Usain Bolt taught me last night. You have to grab that chance when it shines. It might be there for just a few seconds - that divine inspiration. But you must decide to act upon it.

I could have written the same post the day Obama truly got elected for president in the United States. It’s the same kind of thing. It shows us what’s possible and really should inspire us to be the best we can be in the present moment (and maybe even to be extraordinary!)

So to recap:

The next time you’re filled with a surge of motivational feelings, act on them! Follow the ‘divine’ advice within even if it scares you. See it as a form of enlightenment.

You might get it from an event like the 9.58 world record, or you might get it from a post like this. It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that you follow your heart when you’re filled with inspiration, even if it’s just for a few seconds. Don’t throw it away as something silly. Follow your dream (cliché, but true).

This really was it from me. I’m working at the moment on getting the discussion board converted to a much more powerful, sleek and sexy system called Invision Power Board. So look forward to that.

If you haven’t seen it already, take a look at the 100 meter race embedded below. If I can’t inspire you to do something great, I sure hope the Lightning Bolt himself can…

(An Italian version was the best version I could find)

I hope this served as a little Tuesday inspiration bit.

I’ll talk to you soon,
Alex

Image by friskytuna.

I didn’t create Just Keep The Change to help you be more successful with women, to help you get over your ex girlfriend, or to help you to be a better kisser; I created Just Keep The Change so that you could ultimately live a fuller and richer life - getting better with women would just be one part of it.

That is why I decided to do something a little different today. I want to show you some resources that might help you grow in all areas of your life - not only romantically, but also when it comes to your health, your spirituality, your personal relations and your social skills.

I believe that to really have success in one part of life, you must also have some part of your other ‘parts’ handled. Each time you improve your weakest link, it strengthens everything and makes room for everything else to grow.

Now, this is not absolutely absolute end of it all, as you can without a doubt have success in some parts of life without having it in others… Just think about the stereotypical geek in his basement coding and hacking: he may not have a lot of success with women, but his coding skills are top notch. But if he did get better with women (rising one of his weaknesses metaphorically speaking), he would most likely experience more success overall and gain a broader perspective on things.

It is also important to take note that the things you need to work on should not be created by anyone but you. Not your friends, not your mom and definitely not society. If you feel that you need to get better with women, or have a more solid career, do it! But if it’s not really you, but more of a demand put on you externally, you should seriously consider focusing on other things.

Anyway, enough of another one of my ramblings about life… Let’s get on with that list.

Oh, and by the way: the links to Amazon here are affiliate links, meaning that I’ll earn a dime or two if you buy the book or anything else while you’re there. So if you don’t want to help out a fellow financial crisis-hit man, please don’t click on the links ;-)

Websites:

T-Nation
THE best training, muscle and nutrition site on the web, bar none. If you’re serious about working out, this one should be a no-brainer. The forum is stuffed with useful information, too. (Not always safe for work, though…)

Scientific American
A great place to broaden your horizon and learn about a lot of really cool stuff. Their research is for the most part solid, and I feel like I get smarter each time I pay them a visit. For example, check out: Affairs of the Lips: Why We Kiss and The Orgasmic Mind: The Neurological Roots of Sexual Pleasure.

Seth Godin’s blog
Seth Godin knows his stuff about marketing, and his blog is always interested to read. If you have never heard of the guy, I’d suggest that you go read up on him. He might change your perspective on some things…

Scott Adams’ Dilbert blog
Scott Adams, “the creator of Dilbert, Wally, Catbert, the Pointy Haired Boss and all your favourite cubicle companions” always has something interesting to say, whether it’s informative, funny or provocative. Broaden your horizon a bit and take a peek. He’s a smart guy. And while you’re at it, read Dilbert the series too - it’s hilarious!

PostSecret
While there’s a good chance you know of PostSecret already, I thought it deserved a mention. Each Sunday, Frank Warren updates his blog with homemade postcards sent to him containing various secrets (hence the name). I could spend all day telling you about it, but instead I think that you should simply hop over and see what it’s all about. Personally, a lot of the secrets move me quite a bit, sometimes to tears, and I most definitely always feel ‘refreshed’ after reading them.

Books:

The Way of the Superior Man
by David Deida, a spiritual guide to mastering the challenges of women, work, and sexual desire.

A lot of great things has already been said about this book, but I’ll add to the pool: “The Way of the Superior Man” will teach you how to be the man you’ve always wanted to be. David Deida writes with passion and honesty about living with your heart open and vulnerable, about how you can satisfy your woman in the bedroom without being a jerk in the living room at the same time and about a lot of other modern challenges about being a man.

The superior man is what I would call the just keep the change man; the man we should all aspire and strive to be. I can’t give justice to the quality of this masterpiece with just a couple of paragraphs, so let me say this instead: if I were to recommend only a single item on this page to you, it would be this book.

How to Win Friends & Influence People
by Dale Carnegie, the first -and still the best- book of its kind to lead you to success.

For a man to be the best that he can absolutely be, I think that it’s crucial for him to be able to conduct one self in all kinds of social situations. It is not about being manipulative as the title could mislead, but more about having good manners, compassion and great listening abilities. It will teach you the art of handling people on a day to day basis, and even though it was written more than 70 years ago, the advice it contains is more crucial now than ever. Put into practice the principles outlined in the book, and I promise you, that you will be seeing more success in both your personal and professional life.

Atomic Dog
by TC Luoma, the testosterone principles.

Brutally honest, sometimes downright absurd and disturbing, and funny as hell… That’s the best way I can describe this book. If you’re not easily offended, read this book as a test. And if you are, take this as a challenge. But to rob yourself from this little gem would be a shame - TC writes like no other about the male hormone testosterone and all that it does to us men. And did I mention that you will be snorting at his one-liners? This is a gift to the uncircumcised man. Read, learn and enjoy.

All books written by Hemingway
A Farewell to Arms, For Whom the Bell Tolls, The Old Man and the Sea, Indian Camp…

Maybe cliché, but personally I have learned a lot about men, women and about myself by reading the books of Ernest Hemingway. In my opinion, one of the most educational and interesting books he has written is “The Sun Also Rises“>The Sun Also Rises“, written in 1926. Its main themes flow around suppressed emotions, desire and (missing) direction in life - important topics I think we should all explore more.

On a vacation, you don’t want to read something that’s too heavy, and Hemingway’s books fall under exactly that category - his books contain a perfect mix of entertainment and thought provokement; just right for a day at the beach or before falling asleep in your hotel room. His prose is often understated, leaving things for you to read between the lines and to figure out for yourself. To not have read a single book by Ernest Hemingway would be the same to literature as it would be to the movies to not have seen Star Wars …now, wait, you have seen Star Wars, right?

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
By Steven R. Covey

If you’re serious about self-development, this book should be a staple in your bookshelf. What Steven Covey writes about is for the most part common sense - but as you know, common sense is not so common after all. This is sensible, pragmatic advice about being effective at its best.

TV-Series

Lost

Since this list contains resources which can help you grow in character, among other things, the tv-series “Lost” absolutely had to be present. There are so many good things about this show that I almost don’t know where to begin, but let me tell you this: if you’re not made of stone, you’re gonna get emotionally involved with this show. And that’s a good thing!

The scene sets out with a plane crash; people are screaming, parts of the plane exploding, total chaos. We’re on a mystical island, and the show is basically about how the 40something people surviving the crash will survive on the island- and how they will get away.

Needless to say, there is a lot of stuff happening on the island. Intrigues, love affairs, heroes, fear, monsters and more… Lord of the flies, anyone? Anyway, I really think that you should check this series out to share some laughs with Hurley, eyeball Kate, learn Korean with Jin, and grow a redneck attitude with Sawyer. I have yet to meet someone who hasn’t at least enjoyed the first season!

Entourage

Entourage, meaning ‘followers’, is another highly entertaining TV-show, although maybe a bit more offensive than Lost. Entourage circles around the four men from Queens Vince, Johnny, Turtle and Eric. Vince is an A-list actor, Johnny is Vince’s older brother, Eric is Vince’s manager and Turtle is just the friend and chauffeur.

What is fascinating about the show is not so much the fast cars, the hot girls or the big houses, no, it’s the play, the fun and the banter between the characters. Vince’s agent, Ari, is also in many ways a good role model for a father, a friend and a husband. Under his tough agent shell, he’s a good guy with a massive heart and a big pair of balls. Vince’s cool, laid back behaviour is also quite inspirational at times.

Check this show out - I can almost guarantee you that you will like it.

Conclusion:

What runs through all these websites, books and series is that I like them - and of course, that is not a guarantee that you will, too. To truly grow in character and develop yourself, you have to follow your own path. Do what you love without shame and learn what you can in the process.

Let me sign out by saying this: living is learning. You learn from everything. But can you apply it? That is the real challenge.

So I challenge you to this: live a little extra the next week. Take a night just for yourself. Prepare a little. Eat a good home-made meal, have a glass of wine, take a hot bath, and watch a great movie. Really enjoy yourself.

One of the things about developing self-confidence is to learn to enjoy one own’s company. If you know that you can be happy by yourself, you really don’t need anyone else. Sure, a great girl can spice your life up, but she won’t be a necessity for your happiness.

Wouldn’t you also like a woman who “wants you, but don’t need you?”

Anyway-

Let me know in the comments about what kind of books and websites and all that stuff that you like and find really useful. That will be interesting to hear. I might even get a new gem for my collection.

I’ll post some of my favorite movies in a future article.

Till then; thanks for reading!
Alex

Getting women to notice you seems either very easy or very hard. The trap I see a lot of guys falling in is trying to please everyone - because when you please people, they love you, right?… Wrong.

Women will like you if you have concrete social status; if you’re the “big thing”. If you have authority. If you respect yourself and others.

This article is aimed at teaching you how to have exactly that: mind-blowing popularity with women. Here’s how:

1. Build Rock-Solid Confidence

Confidence is about having solid, self-established value. People respect the ones they value. Women will respect you if you respect yourself.

Focus on the positive - Look at everything you do well - it could be playing the guitar, making people laugh, or anything else. Spend more time doing these things.

Make people feel good: not because you’re seeking their approval, because you want to. Making others happy gives you a feeling of worth and purpose. Something very powerful for building confidence.

Start a project - Set yourself manageable goals and have concrete focus. Achieving something difficult will make you feel great.

Face your fear of failure - it might be being rejected by a hot girl standing at a bar. Only by facing your fear will you realize how pointless it was. Go up to her and say “Hi!”. You’ll feel great every time you defeat your fears.

Stop comparing yourself to others - there will always be people who are stronger, smarter, richer than you are. Focus on what you have, and realize negativity is always harmful. You’re never inferior to others, you’re just different.

Must-read confidence articles:

• Change your Mindset and Instantly Become an Alpha Male
• Why Confidence Can Not Be Faked, and What to Do About It
• How to Build Unstoppable Confidence

2. Provide Leadership

Women like leaders, people who take action - because those who do always have an impact. Leaders change the world they live in and have a bold vision.

Don’t let others make decisions, make them yourself! Organize events like dates or parties, choose the bar to which you’re going with your friends.

A good tip to see if you’re a leader is to go to a restaurant with five or so buddies. Who does the waiter give the check to? If it’s you, you’re the leader of the pack. If it’s not, learn from the friend who is.

Always decide and take action, because thinking without acting is useless. Think. Make up your mind. Take action. Rinse and repeat.

3. Be Independent

Rely on yourself, and yourself only. If you rely on others, people will trust them, not you. By being independent, you show authority and self-respect. It shows you trust your own judgment.

That doesn’t mean you should only trust yourself, it means you shouldn’t depend on others. An entirely different thing. An example of depending on others would be to seek their approval.

4. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Popular people are always trying out new things. When you stop doing only what’s “safe”, it shows you have the guts to confront failure and rejection - which means you don’t fear any of these. As the saying goes, “nothing ventured, nothing gained”.

Very few people can do that successfully - it takes a lot of willpower and strength. Strength and vision are incredibly sexy - get out of your comfort zone now!

5. Stop Caring about what Women Think

Well, do care, but don’t let it affect the way you are. You shouldn’t adapt who you are to fit a standard or to make an impression. Work on getting people to accept you as you are, and if they don’t, screw them! You can’t please everybody.

Master this and you’ll achieve total freedom. Being free is extremely empowering, women will sit back and watch in awe. Beautiful women won’t be able to own you like they own nice guys.

Another advantage: Women will think you don’t care because they’re not worth it. It places you in a situation of tremendous power, and women will start to seek your approval all the time.

6. Take Care of Yourself

Remember what I’ve said above, respect yourself, and others will respect you. Here, it’s about respecting your body and making a good impression.

This is similar to branding a product. Think about your image. What impact do you have on others? What three adjectives jump to people’s minds when they hear your name?

1. Dress with style. You’ll find great tips here and there.
2. Get yourself a nice fragrance.
3. Work out, build strength and gain muscle. Here’s an excellent place to start.
4. Invest in a classy watch.
5. Exercise - it’ll improve your toning and make you happier. Women love happy guys. And active men are sexy as hell.

7. Project Confidence with Body Language

This is also a part of “branding yourself”. Now you’ve got great packaging and design, it’s time to show off how great you are, so women will “buy” you.

Show leadership and confidence with body language. Here’s how:

• Bold eye-contact. Looking people in the eye is a sign of dominance. Click here and here for more.
• Take space. Confident men fully use the space around them. Don’t cross your legs for instance.
• Slow down. Slow, full movements show self-control and calmness. A very “cool” thing to do.
• Use your voice to project confidence.
• Open up! Don’t cross your arms or look down. Looking in front of you shows determination, and crossing your arms is protecting yourself.

8. Have Something Extra

What sets you out from the competition? What makes you unique? What do you have that other guys don’t?

Develop a skill, like playing an instrument, or being a kick-ass arm wrestler or soccer player. Anything that will get people to remember you is fine (as long as it’s something good).

It may be something you already have. Are you the funny guy with great jokes? Are you the cool and mysterious guy? Are you the one throwing great parties? What are you famous for? Grab a piece of paper and do a brainstorm. Then, focus on building that unique extra you have.

Remember, social status is something that exists in people’s minds. These tips are aimed at building status, not faking it. Change the way you think about yourself, and I guarantee women will flock to you.

You can read more articles like this one over at my blog, where I share more rock-solid dating tips for men.

Alex here again: thanks Anthony! To you, the reader - I hope you enjoyed the article. And while you’re at it, do check out Anthony’s blog where he regularly posts a lot of interesting articles. I’m out! See you in the comments.

By the way, why don’t you join me and Anthony over at the forums? Check out the thread “Social Energy” which contains discussion related to this article.

Image by Kevin Klöcker.

You are a man. So am I. So stop apologizing for it. I see it every single freakin’ day - men walking around like pussies, looking into the ground and blaming everyone but themselves for their unsuccessful lives.

It is ALL your fault. I know that this doesn’t sell. And I know that it’s not what you want to hear - but it truly is. You HAVE to start to take responsibility for your own life and for your own actions.

Man up. Grab life by its balls. You have two of them at your disposal - so use them.

• A real man is fucking honest. He speaks his mind freely about things that concern him, but he also takes into regard the feelings of others. He lives by the rule of never harming anyone intentionally (more than needed, of course. In a few cases, like a break up, some ‘harm’ is needed).
• A real man doesn’t need or seek approval from others. You probably know this; so why do you keep doing it? Start living your life with integrity and you will see that you do not need the approval of others; that, in the end, it is ONLY your opinion that matters.
• A real man trusts his instinct and his abilities. But at the same time, he is HONEST about them. If you know that you are not skilled enough to, let’s say, climb a mountain, you have two choices: Either, you learn or acquire the skills needed for the task OR you back out and direct your attention to another matter. It is as simple as this. Two choices, nothing else.
• A real man is totally upfront with his intentions. He doesn’t apologize for being a man and for wanting sex - it’s perfectly acceptable. If he feels that the time is right for getting more physical, he goes for it without hesitation.
• A real man also has only two choices regarding something he fears, like doing a bungee jump. Either he just does it, OR admits that he won’t do it. Usually, we walk away from things we fear with guilt. This is not a choice for the real man, the just keep the change man. Either he TAKES ACTION, or admits that HE WON’T. There’s no middle ground. Really wanting to do something, but succumbing to your fear is WEAK. Don’t be that guy. You will grow if you take one of these two roads, and you will shrink if you pussy out. In 90% of all cases, just do it. Breathe deep, and tell yourself that you’ll live. You will… In the other 10%, be sure that backing out is the smart thing to do. It might be you wanting to approach a girl, but you being too afraid to fuck it up, you freeze like a Popsicle on the south pole. You do nothing, and you beat yourself up over it afterwards. THIS IS WRONG. Either, you approach her, or you admit to yourself that you won’t do it and be happy with it. Maybe, you don’t approach this girl, but smile and say “hey sunshine” the next time you greet that cute girl at your local supermarket instead. But don’t let it become procrastination, instead, learn which battles to fight. Which brings me to…
• Baby steps. A real man takes baby steps. Or at least he takes action. A real man doesn’t sit around on his couch reading advice that he won’t put into practice (if he really believes it, that is… Of course you shouldn’t take advice you don’t believe in at all). But I challenge you to try. How else would you know for sure?

So please, go out NOW and do something that you
a) want to do or
b) fear to do.

Often these two overlap. Start out by smiling and looking every girl in the eyes that you see today. After a couple of times, start saying hello, maybe getting their name in the process. Soon you will find a girl you like, and you will ask her out. No tricks, just you and her. You will go for the kiss, and you will take her home if that’s what you both want.

It takes balls my friend. Good thing you have ‘em.

It’s called looking her in her eyes.

Ever since I have given women intense eye contact while being with them, my love life has completely transformed.

Old, rugged sex without passion suddenly turns into hot all-night sessions.

Now don’t get me wrong - there’s more to women than just looking them in their eyes. It’s not a magic trick, but it is a necessity.

And not all eye contact works the same - a creepy stare is for many females one of the biggest turn offs. So read on, and learn how to give a woman some sexy eye contact. It’s one of the most important things you’ll ever learn.

Why eye contact works

There is a big difference between locking eye contact and staring. Staring is creepy, eye contact is sexy.

I have a little theory that the eyes are the window into the soul. When you look intensely into someone eyes, you actually “get” a little bit of them in return.

Try and notice the next time you watch a show where someone is interviewed. If it’s a skilled interviewer, there’s a big chance he won’t look any other place than at the interviewed persons eyes. Most likely, he will rarely blink, either.

This behavior stems, like almost everything else, from our caveman days. One of the strongest forms of communication is eye contact, and when deciding which man was the alpha man, it was most likely through something like who looked away last.

I don’t say that they had competitions with this or anything like that, it’s more of a subconscious thing. It’s used the same way today. I’m pretty sure, that in your company, the chubby secretary gives you less eye contact than your boss or another, more powerful, person.

To hold a gaze is simply a sign of dominance and leadership - and you can use that to your advantage.

A woman will instantly see you as a confident alpha male if you give her strong eye contact through the room, down the hall, or when you talk to her. It’s written in her genes. It’s a classic sign of a wussy if you can’t hold eye contact for more than a few seconds - we all now that guy; fiddling with his fingers, looking away nervously, stuttering. Don’t be him :-)

Holding eye contact also makes you quite vulnerable and penetrable - that’s why no one looks each other in the eyes in the metro or in any public transport. It’s an open invitation between two human beings.

How to do eye contact just right

There are a couple of things you do not want to do. First of all is that, when you have locked eye contact, you do not look away before she does. And even if she does, ask yourself what you will gain by looking away.

Most likely, you have everything to win by holding the eye contact and everything to lose by looking away.

Eye contact does not only signal confidence, it also signals interest. Most women love a good listener - and a strong gaze is a huge sign of just that. Your attention is with her and with no one else; in other words, you make her feel special and important.

Confidence + interest = instant sex appeal.

Better is, when you lock eye contact, you force yourself to only listen to her. No distractions - just you and her. That’s sexy as hell. Ask any women out there.

Here’s how to hold that eye contact we should all be striving for:

• Pick one eye and hold eye contact at that. Find out which eye works the best - believe it our not, but there is usually different “energy” between the two eyes. One is usually “hotter”.
• Try to “feel through” her.
• Listen intensely while she is talking.
• Relax at the same time. Don’t strain yourself or hold tension in any muscles.
• DON’T look away. You have nothing to gain and everything to lose by doing so.
• Breathe. Always breathe. Through the nose, nice and deep… Ahh.

That’s it. A bulletproof recipe for success with women. Now get out there and give women some sexy eye contact you stud!

By the way…

I just found a little experiment done by my friend David Shade. It’s a article on the website Fastseduction.com, and I really think that you’ll like it. Eye contact experiment by David shade.

I’ll also be gone for about two weeks on holidays - take care guys, and make me proud!

Hey guys! This is two real stories about how two real guys got over their ex girlfriends. I just wanted to post this to show you that it is possible, and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. There always is.

Let’s start out with Shahi:

“I would say that the two biggest things certainly were time and seizing opportunities. Time helped the pain go away each day but certainly meeting someone new and realizing how awesome someone else can be made all the difference. I called it the “S” factor in the “ex-girlfriend” messageboard that I contributed to several times, where you really see and get to know someone else and realize that there is hope out there.

The girl I am with now is so into me and I find that it has been so much easier to talk to her than to my ex. I know at first that’s a hard thing to say when you’re missing her, but when you’re with someone else, that’s when you’ll realize it. She has shown me so much love and sweetness (for lack of better terms) and I think to myself, “why was I moping when there are girls like the this out there who are more for me and show so much more interest?”

How Shahi got over his ex girlfriend

Time and seizing opportunities. Two powerful factors when it comes to getting over a lost love.

Reading a post like this can really help you getting your hopes up for the future (if you have a hard time getting over her) by showing you that it is possible.

It really is! You two are going to get over her, and that is 100% guaranteed. We all do. Realize this.

Next up is Sergio.

You might know Sergio from the comment thread on the “how to get over your ex girlfriend post“. Here’s what he had to say…

Sergio’s story:

“How crazy is this. I haven’t been on this site since…I don’t remember. My original post was back in March of 2008. I have been where most you guys are now. I am living proof that you can/will move on with your life. I am dating now and I’m even friends with my ex. I learned to forgive her and I’m a better person for that.

To truly move on you must accept that it’s over. That’s the very first step. Don’t get me wrong, you will still hurt and feel down but you will be on your way. No contact is a must. At least in the beginning. Stay busy. With time, you find yourself thinking less of her until you’re completely over her.

This is also important; you need to look at the big picture. We only live once. Are you going to live the one life that you are given depressed and sad over ONE person?? You can’t let her dictate your happiness.

How Sergio got over his ex girlfriend

Sergio used the same approach as hundreds of other men have used before - the Just Keep The Change approach:

Accept, no contact, stay busy.

Basically, you just let yourself feel hurt if that’s what you feel you are. Don’t resist it or ignore it, simply let it be. No contact has been discussed several times on this blog already, and I know from lots of guys and personal experience that it works. No contact!

Staying busy is what I would almost call a “perk” of getting over your ex girlfriend. Now you finally have the time to do something you’ve always wanted, like learning a new language, hanging more out with your friends, starting that online business, whatever!

If you have a success story like Shahi or Sergio, feel free to post it in the comments or let me know directly. I know that a lot of hurting guys out there could benefit from it.

And while you’re at it, check out the new forum; the JKTC Café. Great people, great discussions. Join us!

Stay strong.

Beautiful images by ucumari and dsevilla.

See the beauty in everyone.

If you’re a (straight) man, which both my statistics and guts tell me that you are, of course you’d pay most attention to the women you see.

You have most likely trained your negative eye for the most part of your life, always looking for fault and mistakes.

I bet that I could show you a picture of almost anyone, and with in seconds, you could find something that could look better. It could be a wrinkle, a zit, a hair sitting ‘wrong’, a crooked nose… And the list goes on.

And this is not said to judge you, it’s just to make a point - and hey, I’m not any better myself! This is how most of us are programmed.

See the beauty in women

But I think that if we gradually train ourselves to see the beauty in things, we will live richer and happier lifes.

Why? Because that way you’ll slowly kill or transcend that little part of you I have called the Ego before. You’ll take away its power and regain control of your emotions and beliefs at a deeper level.

I know that may have sounded a little buddhist or religious, but take it for what it is. In more plain language, training to see the beauty in things will satisfy you more in the long-term.

See her real sexy self

The next time you’ll meet a girl you like, you’ll see all the beauty in her. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t see her faults and flaws; we all have those. I’m just saying that you should see past them, and see her & her beauty instead.

So as I started out by saying, the next time you’re at a public place, practice to see the beauty in the people walking by you. See how a particular girl’s eyes are glowing, or how that other girl’s hair is waving in the sun.

It doesn’t even have to be “practice” or to “train”, it can just be to have a pleasant experience. At least I always feel a little higher and happier when I have done this than if I hadn’t.

So try it out and let me know what happens!

And by the way, don’t forget to Subscribe to the RSS Feed! It’s absolutely free, and you get all my articles as soon as they are published. How’s that for an offer!