Just Malia

My lost week

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 23:12:00 +0000

While most people were making resolutions and getting organized and dusting off gym memberships, I was slowly succumbing to what I thought was just a cold. It started Sunday night with the tell tale post nasal drip in the back of my throat. And as each day went on, the symptoms progressed and changed. By Wednesday I was a hot (literally) mess of ill. Fever. Achy. Ugh.

On Monday, I was so caught up with trying to not be sick that I neglected to take a photo. I figured I'd make it up on Tuesday, no big deal. But then no picture was taken on Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Or Thursday. Or Friday. I was just too sick to even think about it.

Today I decided that instead of letting those five days of no pictures completely derail my photo-a-day project, I would reconstruct my lost week by taking photos of the things I may have taken a photo of each day. And I used the camera on my phone since that's what I would have done in light of being sick and not having the time or energy to be artistic.

Monday

I should have started the Zicam on Sunday at the first "sign" of illness (as the instructions indicate) but I waited until Monday and alas, it was too little, too late.

Tuesday

By the end of the day, my nose was sore, red, and chapped from blowing it so much that even these Kleenex Cool Effects tissues especially formulated for raw noses felt like sandpaper to my battered and abused nose.

Wednesday

One of the best perks of working from home is being able to work from your bed if needed, and I needed to!

Thursday

Yes, I'm drinking lots and lots of water!

Friday

Drugs. Finally. (Diagnosis: Upper Respiratory Infection)

I'm all caught up! I even stepped outside for a few minutes this afternoon and took some photos with my dSLR.

Saturday

Lost week, recovered!

2011 Year in Review

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 18:43:00 +0000

Two things before we get started:

This post is SUPER long.
I used a combination of the new Facebook Timeline and my Flickr stream to pull all these events together.

January - I began 2011 thinking that I would do another 365 project.

I only went about 60 days into that project before getting so far behind that I, much to my dismay, gave it up.

January is my birthday month. I turned 37.

January was also our family's first foray into Basketball with both kids playing on Upward League teams. Julia did quite well for her first time on the court, Galen pretty much just liked to run around and play. Typical. January was also known as the month Julia did not go to school. Nashville experienced some atypical winter weather, aka snow in amounts more than one inch, which pretty much shut the city down for days and days and days.

Tweet/FB status, "And there was weeping and gnashing, the fifth day."

The end of January brought the long awaited and much anticipated BLISSDOM!! Five of the best days of my life. I was crazy busy working as a volunteer for the conference and working the One2One Network booth and I barely slept but every bit was worth it to be with my precious friends, hear fabulous speakers and oh yeah, there was that flashmob.

February, the shortest yet most difficult month for me. Too much gray, and the snowpocolypse of 2011 continued which meant more snow days and grumpy kids home from school. And, I gave up Coke for Lent (see also: my brain must be addled).

Tweet/FB update from Feb 9, "Middle of the day & Publix is packed. I want scream, "but I actually do NEED milk!" #snowpocolypse #nashville"

Basketball continued through the end of the month. Julia showed some mad skillz and Galen still liked to run around and play. We had an "old skool" blogger reunion where several of us from "back in the day" ::cough2005cough:: got together for lunch and reminiscing and catching-up.

In March I accompanied David to Boaz, AL as his barbershop quartet competed in the District semi-finals which won them the right to compete in the international competition in Kansas City in July. We had a lovely weekend (Nana & Pop kept the kids) and I got up after about 2 hours sleep on the Sunday morning of "spring forward" to Daylight Saving Time to get this photo.

FB update, "Galen was trying to remember the name of character in a book we read last night. As he described the character, I offered, "You mean, Mia?" To which he replied, totally deadpan, "Let's call her Anthony."

April brought more and more Spring weather (and some severe weather that had us taking cover!) and the S.A.D. fog finally lifted. We got to reconnect with old friends who were in town for the weekend and meet their adorable son.

Easter arrived and I could drink Coke again. Sweet nectar of fizziness.

Tweet/FB update, "I love having a musically talented child! I was treated to piano music while I made dinner and post-dinner music is trumpet solos!"

May marked the one year anniversary of the severe flooding in Nashville. That was rather surreal. And then Nashville was hit with a 13 year swarm of Cicadas. Also surreal, and loud.

Tweet/FB update, "What? I can't hear you! Did you say the cicadas are really loud?? #thecicadasareREALLYloud"

Galen and I (and the rest of the Otter Creek Kindergarten) were treated to an insider's view of the Nashville Zoo.

Galen "graduated" from Kindergarten. (sob)

The cicadas continued.

On May 26, Julia turned 11. Also on that day, in the wee hours of the morning, she and I boarded a Gray Line bus to head to Charleston, NC with the Nashville Children's Choir - Touring Choir. We had four, fun filled days of sightseeing and singing.

You know what Charleston doesn't have? Cicadas.

In June, school finally ended after all snow days were made up and we settled in for a summer of all four us being at home together. All day. Every. Day. Julia started summer swim team again and Galen just liked to jump in and get out and jump in and get out. Typical.

We celebrated David's birthday with a homemade meal of Hungarian Beef Stew and German Chocolate cupcakes.

Tweet/FB status, "I made one of those meals tonight that makes you feel like your kitchen will never recover from chaos."

I got blueberry happy and made some lemon blueberry tarts.

My second favorite blogging conference, Type-A Parent Conference, was moved to June this year. I headed to Asheville, NC with Jana & Alli and we had a fabulous time, as usual.

The cicadas finally went away.

July was a head-spinning kind of month. David spent the first week of it in Kansas City competing in the international Barbershop Harmony Society's annual contest. His quartet placed 8th in the world! I was unable to accompany him this year but I sat in rapt attention at my laptop watching the live screen cast.

Fourth of July was spent with grandparents, aunt, uncles and cousins, oh my!

Summer swim team finished with a splash. (punny)

David came home for a few days and then headed back out again with Julia to go to a summer camp in Pennsylvania - she was a camper, he was a counselor. That left me and Galen at home together for 10 days straight. And we managed to survive! We registered Galen for first grade (how is that possible?) and watched so much Phineas & Ferb that:

FB update, "There has been too much Phineas & Ferb in our house lately. I swear I just heard a sound that I thought was Perry the Platypus."

Galen and I flew to Florida with some unexpected delays, "Long story short: storms, circling, more circling, low fuel, diverted to Orlando, waiting to gas up. Also, HUNGRY." We finally arrived in Tampa where Granny and Pa had been patiently waiting and the pizza parlor had been patiently holding off on cooking our order until we could pick-it up...at 10 PM. I think that's the latest I've ever eaten dinner.

David and Julia arrived in Tampa the next day after driving from Pennsylvania. See also: we were all very tired.

July ended with David and I celebrating our sweet sixteenth wedding anniversary.

We started August off with more travel. We arrived home from Florida and David headed to Arizona for business. He came back and I headed to San Diego for BlogHer. BlogHer was simply amazing. I loved being in San Diego. I got to ride in a pedicab! I loved getting to reconnect with blogging friends. I got to meet several bloggers that I admire. I got to hang out by a lovely pool and sip cocktails. I got to attend some fabulous parties and dance the night away.

I returned to Nashville from BlogHer and was immediately thrown into back-to-school mode. Both kids started at new schools this year and there was a lot of prep to be ready.

Tweet/FB update of the month, "I've decided that if you really want to know how I feel about anything at all, you must talk to me on Skype b/c I am emoticon dependent."

And then once school started, it was kind of downhill from there, or at least it was quiet!

September 1st - I restarted my 365 project (and so far, I'm keeping up with it!)

Granny and Pa came to visit. Galen started playing flag football. And since Julia is at a school with a high school football team, Friday night football games were on our calendar.

FB update, "Taking your very mobile 6-year-old to a football game dressed in the school colors means you frequently "lose" him among a sea of red shirts. Next time? Bright yellow."

I took my most favorite photo ever.

David and I treated Julia to a Taylor Swift concert. (It helped that NEEDTOBREATHE was the opener.) And I became a bona fide Mac user.

Probably the most significant thing about September was that after almost a year and a half of home church with one other couple in our neighborhood, we "joined" (for lack of a better word) a home church group in Nashville called Reunion. It has been a good thing.

October was (and pretty much always is) another whirlwind month. Every weekend was full of something. I attended the Food Bloggers Forum here in Nashville. That was a tasty weekend! We took our annual trek out to Gentry's Farm for autumnal outing fun and photo opps. David and I attended a beautiful wedding. I got to see Mat Kearney in concert. Our car hit 100k miles. I played mad scientist/baker and created a Franken Cookie. We carved pumpkins and went trick-or-treating.

Tweet/FB update, "I bought a handmade broom today. And I'm downright giddy about it."

Yep, that was a pretty typical October.

We started November right off the bat with Galen's birthday on the 2nd, barely recovered from the Halloween sugar coma.

I helped host a 3 Musketeers "Like-Up" party in Nashville with some of my other blogging compadres.

It was a month of baking things I've never made before. It started with a gingerbread assignment for Blissfully Domestic and then there was a pumpkin pie for Galen's class Thanksgiving party and then I made two chocolate pies (from my grandmother's/mom's recipe) for teachers at Galen's school. I had fun flexing my baking muscles on all these recipes!

Tweet/FB update, "On GMan's Christmas Wish List - Guitar, Drum Pads, Speaker & Microphone. Heaven help us, we're raising an entertainer."

For Thanksgiving, we loaded up the Caddy (aka land yacht) and headed East/Northeast to my aunt and uncle's house in Fairfax, VA for a first ever family reunion on my mother's side. It was a lot of fun hanging out with aunts, uncles and cousins that we rarely get to see.

We did a little bit of sight seeing; took the kids to the National Zoo. I got a free cupcake from Georgetown Cupcakes for knowing the "secret" cupcake of the day (revealed on Twitter each day). Went to the see the new Muppet movie with all the cousins. And I got to reconnect over coffee with my good friend, Scottie for a couple hours one morning.

And here is December. An unusually quite month for us this year. Since David and I both work from home, there were no obligatory office parties to attend. We're in lull between sports (football ended in October and basketball will start up late December, early January) and there were only about 2 1/2 weeks of school before winter break.

December 1st brought out the much anticipated "Advent/Countdown to Christmas" wreath. It's a wreath made up of circular boxes numbered 1-24. Each year I fill the boxes with either a slip of paper or some candy. The slips of paper have things written on them like, "watch a Christmas movie on a school day" or "drive around and look at Christmas lights & eat pizza in the car" or "make snowman donuts", etc. The two they look forward to the most are "eat dessert first" which they interpret as "dessert for breakfast" and a scavenger hunt which always results in a gift at the end of the hunt (this year they each received $10 Sweet CeCe's gift cards).

Tweet/FB update, "Annual viewing Home Alone brings out the pint-sized vigilante in Galen. #watchyourstep"

The Nashville Children's Choir was part of the annual "Christmas at Belmont" concert which is recorded and broadcast locally and nationally on PBS. It was great fun for the grandparents in Nashville and Florida to see their granddaughter singing on television.

One of the best things about the month was the whirlwind trip I took to Dallas to see my friend Katie get married. Sarah was there, too as the wedding photographer and we all had a blast being together again!

We spent Christmas at home this year and then joined up with the rest of the Carden's in the afternoon for more revelry, food and gifts. This year heralded the first ever White Elephant/Dirty Santa gift exchange among the adults (and a couple of the kids). It was tremendous fun. Lots of laughter and memories made. I think we've hit upon a new tradition.

If you've stayed with me to end of this super long post, thank you. Even if you just skimmed it to see just how long it was. (Don't worry, I do the same thing.) This was a good exercise for me, looking back over the year and remembering.

Tomorrow is the beginning of 2012. As much as I'd like to resolve to be here (on the blog) more, I know better than to say that. Thanks coming by and reading whenever I have the inspiration to write. We'll see what 2012 brings!

Happy New Year!

Still here

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 02:43:00 +0000

Every time I come over here to post something, I freeze up. I even started this post, then changed my mind,

then changed my mind again.

I used to love blogging. What happened?

I'm not quite sure.

My reluctance comes not from one but from fragments of many. A precarious pile of bits balancing like a fragile house of cards.

I'm mostly afraid of my own thoughts. And none to keen to explore them right now when there are bills to pay, children to raise and fleeting life to be somehow be lived.

Maybe someday I can write again.

Weekly Winners, September 4-10: Back in the Saddle Again Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 14:28:00 +0000

Getting back on the 365 train has had me snapping a lot of pictures every day. I think I've taken more pictures this week than I did the entire summer. It's been quite nice having my hands on my camera every day and once again looking at the world through that tiny, view finder rectangle.

she waits

do you channel The Wiggles every time you encounter fruit salad? yummy, yummy!

a new toy

certified

let me in?

a peek of green

the defender of our castle

bumpy landing

in tent

Photos taken with my Canon Rebel XT.

Head over to the fabulous Lotus' place for more weekly winners!

To see more of my photography, please visit my Flickr page.

Weekly Winners, September 1-3: New Year Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 13:53:00 +0000

In my world, it's a new year. Cheers!

I restarted the 365 project that I had abandoned earlier this year. You can see my progress so far right here. These are some of the photos from the last three days that did not make the 365 cut.

I bought these flowers for two reasons. The first was so that I could photograph them, the second was because it had been far too long since I'd had flowers in my home and celebrating September 1st seemed as good of a reason as any to buy myself flowers.

On Friday, I saw a photo that Rachel had pinned to Pinterest. It was a lovely shot of a an old typewriter. I just happened to have an old typewriter sitting right beside me and I was immediately inspired. I lugged the thing outside and started snapping pictures. I didn't quite get the shots I wanted because it was getting near dusk and the light was fading but I did get a few that were quite nice.

We've done a big ol' fruit basket turnover in our home over the last week in an attempt to create actual work spaces for me and David. I've been working at one end of the dining room table and he's been working on the couch, the bed, at the dining room table, etc for a looooong time. After we got our desks set-up, David went back to our bedroom and came out with this lamp. It had been originally purchased as a bedside lamp for his side of the bed. It was rarely used and then quite awhile ago the light bulbs from it where nicked to use somewhere else. He decided it was too pretty and too functional to just be sitting in the corner collecting dust. It now resides on his desk.

Besides the fact that it is a very attractive lamp, my favorite part about it is what I remember when I look at it. When we were shopping for this lamp, we spent around three hilarious hours late one night looking at lamps on the Internet. I dare say we saw every weird, ugly and downright bizarre lamp in existence that night. We laughed until we cried and our sides ached. I'm quite pleased that he decided to bring it into our work space to be enjoyed on a daily basis.

Another new year started back in August, a new school year. And not only a new academic year but new schools for both of them. Our daughter headed to middle school, sixth grade, at a private school. Our son headed to elementary school, first grade, at our local public school. It's already turning out to be an awesome year for both of them!

New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 22:36:00 +0000

Sometimes I realize that I'm often too quick to correct my children.

Since Tuesday, my son has been saying that today starts a new year. No, a new month, I would chide.
Oh, that's right, a new month, he would concede.

This morning when he got out of bed, he came to my room and spoke excitedly to me through the bathroom door, "Mommy, it's a new year today!"

"A new month, honey." "Oh, yes, a new month!"

The thing is, the beginning of fall (and yes, I know it doesn't technically begin until the 23rd) has always felt more like the beginning of new year for me than January 1 ever has. This is my favorite time of year, one that is refreshing and exciting for me. September 1 holds the promise of cooler days, turning leaves, comfort foods, spiced scents, bright blue autumn skies, and a season's worth of traditions that I look forward to every year.

Out of mouths of babes, it's a new year today!

"By all these lovely tokens

September days are here,

With summer’s best of weather

And autumn’s best of cheer."

- Helen Hunt Jackson, September, 1830-1885

And today I resuming my 365 photo project. I think these colors are perfectly fallish.

Dear BlogHer Attendee who may possibly be reading this because you followed the link from my Twitter profile,

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 17:00:00 +0000

This is my first BlogHer. Now, I've known about BlogHer for a looooooong time. I've actually been blogging for six years. (Not here, this is the third blog, I just can't keep still.) And I've been to conferences, just not this one. And not because I didn't want to, this one just never was a possibility until this year.

And even though I'm kind of ancient in blogging years and this is not my first rodeo, so to speak, I'm still a bit intimidated by you. Yes, you. If you peek around a bit you'll see that I'm a lackadaisical blogger. I rarely post. I have no "blog design". I have no ads. I don't even look at blog stats. (I know, right?) And you, yes you; you have a pretty blog that's updated regularly and gets comments and page views and stuff. (Or at least that's what my head tells me.)

It wasn't always this way. "Back in the day" I would post practically everyday, sometimes even twice! I talked about my kids, television shows, local events, & blogger meet-ups. I shared recipes and pictures and occasionally waxed poetic. I was obsessed with comments and hits to my site and whether or not I would get PR pitches. I poured over design ideas and dreamed of how my ideal site would look, someday.

What happened you ask?

Many things...and nothing. Life. Work. Ahem, twitter....and maybe facebook... But if I'm really honest, I sort of got sick of my own voice. I'm hyper critical of my creative self whether it's my writing, my photography, my cooking or my ideas. I got to the point that I couldn't bring myself to post most of what I longed to write. And so, I just...didn't.

However, I'm still here. I can't seem to give up this blogging thing. Dozens of ideas for posts hit my brain throughout the day and maybe someday they'll come to fruition. In the mean time, I'm glad you're here! It's my current blogging home and I'm happy you've stopped by. Maybe next month there'll be another post for you to read. (Hey, at least I won't clog up your Google Reader!)

In the meantime, you'll find me writing about holidays for Blissfully Domestic and I'm the blog editor for One2One Network.

See you on the Internet!

Sweet Sixteen

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 02:49:00 +0000

July 29, 2011

We turned sixteen yesterday! Aren't we cute? Can we get our driver's license now? I *think* we've passed the test. ;-)

Here's to another sixteen and beyond!

"There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage." ~Martin Luther

"To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart and sing it to them when they have forgotten." ~Thomas Chandler

First Love

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Sun, 19 Jun 2011 14:13:00 +0000

"Who is it?" I asked, again. He had said he would tell me later that day which girl at camp had caught his fancy. I didn't want to wait, so I continued to press him.

"No, I'll tell you after rest time." He replied, again.

I followed him to The Spot. A concrete slab just a few feet behind the Mess Hall, the "No Woman's Land" spot. Girls were not allowed beyond that demarcation line because the path there led to the boy's cabins.

We were "just friends". We had to be because I had a boyfriend? Yes, it ended in a question mark because the boy in question was an awful bore. I was smitten only because for the first time in my (short) life, a boy liked me. And it wasn't that I didn't like him, I did actually, he just didn't act the way a boyfriend should act, or at least the way my very limited experience and romanticized mind thought he should act. He didn't pursue me. He didn't seek my company. He rarely touched me. And there had been no kissing.

I stopped short at The Spot and asked, begged again, "Who is it?". He continued on for few steps, turned back to me, smiled his broad, slightly lopsided grin and simply said, "You."

To say I was stunned would be the understatement of the century. My brain when all kinds of wild.

"So this is how it is!"
"What the heck am I going to do now?"
"Did he really just say what I thought he said?"
"ME!!!!!!!"

I was breathless. Dumbfounded. What I said or did after that is lost to me though I'm pretty sure I grinned a fool's grin all the way back to my cabin.

That moment, that one, simple response meant the world to me. If I had been rendered by a cartoonist, I would have been portrayed as a proud, confident peacock. Chest puffed out with a "look at me now" fire in my eyes. Fifteen year old girls all struggle with the same issues, including lack of confidence. At any moment I could run down a list for you of all the things that were wrong with me. And I attributed boyfriend?'s lack of interest as being primarily my fault. I did not expect his answer. I had not even let myself entertain that notion. It simply couldn't be, I was not worthy, I was different, unlikeable, certainly unlovable. But there it was, hanging in the air between us. "You."

Loving him taught me to love myself. I gained confidence in who I was, I accepted myself instead of tearing myself down. And ironically enough, the confidence that sparked in me on that fateful day is what gave me the ability to walk away from him several months later. He had been my first love. An important love. An imperfect love. A training love.

They say you never forget your first love and I know that to be true. It's not because of any longing for what could have been or pining for what was lost, it's because of what was gained. In the end, I had to say to him, "Not you." But he was the very reason that I could do it. I stepped away from first love into the arms of lifelong love and I will be forever thankful.

Neglected

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 00:14:00 +0000

Yes, this space has been woefully neglected. I would say abandoned but, I guess the very fact that I'm posting this brief tidbit negates that.

Neglect is so very sad. When things are neglected in the real world, they take on certain characteristics. Neglected lawns are overgrown and unruly. Neglected rooms are dusty and lack the the luster of the living. Neglected laundry turns into smelly piles. Neglected cars turn into junk.

Neglect on an Internet space is different. Mostly neglected sites just sit there, frozen in time like photographs. Eventually spammers and hacks get to them and they become horrible caricatures of what they once were.

I simply don't know what I want from this space. So here it sits, neglected and sad, until I can figure it out.

There's no place like home?

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 15:29:00 +0000

My friend Casey has a quote in her home that says, "I like this place and could willingly waste my time in it." (Shakespeare, from As You Like It) When I was in Casey's home back in November, I stood staring at it for a few moments. I desperately wish to feel that way about my own home.

I don't like this place. With every glance I see things that frustrate and annoy me. Some of it is a product of my own doing, or rather, not doing. I openly admit that I am not a good housekeeper. I like having a clean home, I do not like what it takes to get it and keep it clean. I am also not very handy. And maintenance that could have been done to keep parts of this house from going to rubbish just never happened.

And then there's the simple fact that there are just things about this house that I don't like. Some of them could possibly be changed but not easily and certainly not without major funding.

So here I sit, wasting my time in a place that does not bring me the comfort and solace that a home should bring.

I do try. And I have so many ideas. Every single room in this house has been redone, in my head. But daily living, daily dirt and clutter and messes deplete my energy, chip away at my soul, fog up my dreams.

And I wonder, will I ever be able to put that quote in my own home?

Telephone

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 13:44:00 +0000

There are many things that are different about life now versus when I was growing up but I think the biggest change has to be telephones. And what's really striking to me is how different my children's experience with telephones has been compared to what I knew when I was their age.

When I think back to when I was 10 years old (the age my daughter is now), telephones had cords and never left the house (unless your cord was long enough to allow you to step out the back door or into the garage for some perceived privacy.) The only "mobile" phones were car phones and only used by the uber rich or the really important business men, who were probably also uber rich. Long distance phone calls were rare and expensive. We didn't have an answering machine or call waiting.

I remember the phone in our kitchen. It was mounted to the wall, had a slot for the phonebook (who uses those anymore?) and a corkboard for pinning messages. That was the phone I learned to make and answer calls on. I talked a lot on that phone: friends, enemies, boyfriends, neighbors, teachers, employers, parents, grandparents, cousins.

In my home today, we still have a house phone which is becoming a rare beast. We keep it around because our Internet is DSL; however, we never answer it. We know that the people we want to talk to will call our cell phones. Our house number is on the "Do Not Call" registry but that doesn't prevent the mortgage company from calling to offer us their latest deal on insurance or refinancing nor does it deter the recorded calls from politicians wanting our votes. We get fundraising calls from the police and the fire department and reminders from the Red Cross that they want our blood. The school system calls to tell us that school has been cancelled due to inclement weather or to update us on upcoming events or invite us to inane parent seminars. So we stopped answering it. If it's important, a message will be left that we can return. If it's just people calling to waste our time, they don't waste their time by leaving a message.

My kids don't answer the phone. They don't race to it when it rings like I remember doing. They don't really talk on the phone at all. Granted, they're not quite to that age yet where all friends must be spoken to and accounted for at least a dozen times a day. My daughter is getting close though. And this new phone culture is about to be all up in our faces. She has several friends who already have cell phones. Honestly, I don't understand it but I'm not judging. I'm sure there are things I let my kids do that other parents don't understand.

I feel like we're about to enter some unchartered territory in parenting. I have no experience to fall back on since this was not a phenomenon I experienced while still under the governing body of my parents. Up until this point, pretty much all the situations I have had to deal with as a parent had some sort of basis in my memory. Discipline issues like spanking, nutritional issues, rules regarding television and movies, neighborhood boundaries and all manner of consequences for misbehavior.

A friend on Facebook, whose kids both have cell phones, said that the "phones", for the most part, aren't even used as phones but as mp3 players and texting machines. And that's really the way of it today. My husband and I both have smartphones but I can probably count on one hand how many times I actually use it as a phone in any given week. I mostly use it for keeping up with email, Twitter, Facebook, texting and playing games in idle times. My son asks to play Angry Birds on my phone and just the other day, I had to show my daughter how to answer it since she was using it get in touch with a friend.

I got my first cell phone just about 10 years ago and in that short time period, cell phones have been completely revamped. There were no iPhones or Droids. Bluetooth was available but not completely mainstream yet. Texting was hot and picture/video texting was just starting to come around. There wasn't Facebook or Twitter. If so much has changed since then, I wonder what will be the cell phone norm ten years from now when my kids are in college and high school?

It gets better

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 21:22:00 +0000

"Love yourself and your story. You never know who needs to hear it."

My friend Sarah shared that quote with me yesterday. I'm not sure where is came from or to whom to attribute it but I needed to hear it because for awhile now I've been feeling like I don't have a story to share. I'm realizing that's not true and here's why.

Through my job, I end up reading lots of blog post by young mothers. They are where I used to be. They are telling the stories I used to tell. They are living the mommy dramas related to methods of feeding, diapering and disciplining their little ones. They are fretting over choices about vaccinations, whether or not to go back to work (or to quit work and stay home), and checking labels for everything from HCFS, to BPA to red dye #40.

They are cherishing and delighting and photographing and journaling. They are trying very hard to capture and remember these early years. They are learning that the best pictures are not the professional ones where their precious spawn are perfectly dressed and coiffed but the ones of them covered in mud or spaghetti sauce or sitting in a pile of ill gotten goldfish crackers, happily munching away. They are sharing milestones and first words and all the sweet and funny things they're little ones are saying.

They are also tired, bone achingly, sleep-deprived tired. They don't get a lot of time that is just their own. They go days without showering, without seeing or speaking to another adult other than their spouse. They are endlessly wiping noses and bottoms. They are potty training and picking up countless Cheerios and stepping over baby gates. They are not having sex, they don't even want to have sex. And date nights are few and far between because kids get sick or babysitters cancel or the budget just won't handle even a trip to see a movie.

They are hopeful and happy and desperate and depressed all in the same minute. They love being moms. They love their children fiercely. They had no idea is was going to be this hard. No idea they would be this exhausted, scared, worried and engrossed in another person's well-being.

I want these moms to know, it gets better. I was where they are not too long ago. I can still feel the fatigue. I still bear the scars (most of them invisible) of depression and hard choices and doubt.

But here I am standing at a precipice in my role as mother. My children still need me, quite a lot. Yet they don't need me as much: in the middle of the night, in the bathroom, in the backyard. They have gained quite a bit of independence in so many of the areas where I used to do it all for them.

I'm in a place now where I feel like I can breathe again. I don't wipe noses or bottoms (well, rarely anyway). I sleep through the night. I have "me" time and if I go without showering or seeing and talking to other adults it's usually my own fault. They go to school five days a week and the house is so quiet. I can sleep in (for a bit) on a Saturday morning because I don't have to get up with them when they awaken. They know how to turn on the TV, they can reach cereal and milk and bowls, they can entertain themselves for awhile. And sex is much more frequent, more satisfying and more welcomed.

This isn't to say that parenting is now easy, it's never going to be easy. It's just different. This phase comes with it's own set of anxieties and decisions. We've spent the last couple of years entrenched in the education debate. Public? Private? Homeschool? We try to make sure that they have a good balance of extra-curricular activity and that they are not too busy or over extended. It's difficult to know where to draw the line because there are so many amazing opportunities for them. How do we choose? What is too much? And now that the children can do things for themselves, it's time to really teach them life skills and get them involved in helping out around the house. Sounds easy, but again, it's not.

Also, the kids' issues change. These days it's not about making sure they share their toys during playdates or teaching them not to pull the dog's tail or stay away from a hot stove. They are navigating social situations that they will continue to encounter for the rest of their lives. They are facing decisions about how to behave and react and choose when their friends are making questionable, inappropriate choices. We have to talk about good touch/bad touch, about what certain words mean, about sex and drinking and smoking.

I want to try and share some of this you. I'm not sure how to approach it because as my children have grown, I feel like I can't tell you their stories anymore. They are aware of the Internet now and blogging and Facebook. They are conscious of what is being put out there about them. Still, I want to be able to give hope to those who are where I was and to give encouragement and support to those who are in a similar phase. Just as I look to bloggers like Tori and Shannon and Busy Mom who have children older than mine because I know that they're words are telling me, it gets better.

falling behind

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 06:01:00 +0000

In everything.

My hobby (that I want so much to be more than just a hobby)
my home responsibilities
my correspondence and relationships
my blogging

oftentimes even my work.

I'm trying to extend grace to myself. To not be too hard on myself.

but

I still feel like I'm drowning and

failing and

disappointing everyone.

Most of all, myself.

Thursday Ten: Traveling Man Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 14:00:00 +0000

1. My husband is traveling again.

2. This is good, because it means he's working. It means his business is doing better.

3. This is good, because we both work from home and it's far too easy to get stuck in the rut of being home all the time.

4. This is good, because you know that phrase, "How can I miss you if you won't go away?" or how about, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"?

5. Reunions are very nice.

6. There are downsides to him being away, like...

7. The house is so quiet during the day and...

8. I have the whole bed to myself.

9. Hmmm, I guess it's all good, after all.

10. But seriously, I miss him when he's gone. I worry about him when he travels. Parenting isn't just twice as hard when he's not around, it's exponentially harder. I get lonely. And moody. I end up going days without speaking to another adult (and Skype chats don't count). So yes, there are pros and cons to this aspect of our lives. And I know it could be worse and I know there are others who endure much longer separations. I can only tell our story.

Weekly Winners, February 6-12: Winter Wonderland Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 15:35:00 +0000

There is a nature center just across the street from my son's school. It's one of the most lovely spots in Nashville and yet, I hardly ever go there. Tuesday morning, as I drove my son to school, I was admiring the scenery (we had had a recent snow fall that left everything covered in white but the roads were clear and dry!) and wishing I could take some pictures. When we got to the school, it occurred to me that a really great place to take pictures was just across the street from me. I waved good-bye and headed over there.

It was quite cold that morning and I had errands to run and work waiting for me at home, so I didn't spend as much time as I would have liked wandering around, inhaling the fresh pine scents, feeling the cold and sun on my face and capturing the winter wonderland that was all around me. I did get a few good shots, here are some of my favorites.

Photos taken with my Canon Rebel XT.

Head over to the fabulous Lotus' place for more weekly winners!

To see more of my photography, please visit my Flickr page.

I went to a conference and a flashmob broke out

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 03:54:00 +0000

Several months ago, my friends Linda, Jana, Sarah and Kat, pulled me into a "super secret" Skype chat room and said, "What do you think about the idea of doing a flashmob at BlissDom?"

Confession: I didn't know what they were talking about.

Granted, I knew what a flashmob was, it just took me a little while to put the terminology together with the event. I had seen YouTube videos of flashmobs, so I was familiar with the concept, it was the word that threw me off. But I digress...

We spent the first several weeks choosing the song and talking about logistics. We threw all sorts of songs out there from "I've Had The Time Of My Life" from Dirty Dancing to Broadway showtunes. We finally settled on Miley Cyrus' "Party in the U.S.A."

At some point, we thought it would be a good idea if we could meet in person and do a choreography session. That brought us to a weekend in November when four of us (Sarah, Kat, Jana and I) met at Casey's house in Indianapolis to hash out the choreography and learn the moves.

We came back from Indy, energized, excited and possessing video footage of our newly choreographed song. Now it was time to start recruiting. At that point we had about 10 people who were "in" on the planning. Spreadsheets were created. Videos were uploaded on a private link. Our group started growing very quickly and we ended up creating a private Facebook group so that we could more efficiently share all the information.

Now that's a great use of social media!

At one point in the planning, we ended up having to tell the conference planners (Alli and Barbara) of our intentions. At first we were really bummed that it wouldn't be a complete secret but it turned out just fine for two reasons. First, we knew when we wanted to do the flashmob (after the final keynote address) but it was good to get some feedback and logistics from them about making it happen. And second, they still had no idea what exactly to expect.

At one point we had 100 signed up to flashmob. About a week before the conference that number dropped to around 90 because there were some 'mobbers' who were not going to be able to stay around on Friday afternoon. We also lost our video production girl to the ProBowl (but you know, who's going to turn down the ProBowl? And we were all REALLY happy for her!)

So this brings us up to Friday afternoon, January 28th. Our final keynote speaker was Scott Stratten, he delivered a very compelling, very funny speech; which was great because it helped quell lots of nerves! Barbara, Alli and Paula headed up to the front to "close the session", the music started and we started dancing.

The energy. The response from the crowd. The looks on Alli and Barbara and Paula's faces.

Priceless.

We danced and danced. And when it was over, we laughed and hugged and cried and...wow...we actually pulled it off! Hands down my favorite moment of the entire conference. I'm so proud to have been part of this. I love how we bonded over a song. I love how so many people told us, 'this was on my bucket/life list' of things to do. I love that in the end we truly surprised people and were able to make something really special happen at a conference we all so dearly love.

If you'd like to see videos of our BlissDom flashmob, go here. And to see some of the practice videos and read other posts about it, go here. Pictures from Jennifer Playgroupie.

Weekly Winners, January 9-15: White Birthday Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 16:09:00 +0000

This past week was...long...

It snowed in Nashville. Nashville doesn't handle snow very well. My daughter ended up missing an entire week of school. Thankfully, my son still goes to a private school; he only missed one day.

It was a cold week.

It was a white week.

It was a birthday week. (Tuesday, 1/11/11 - best birthdate ever!)

It was a well photographed week.

birthday dinner (made by my husband)

birthday flower from my colleagues, birthday cake from Puffy Muffin

my son, destroying our "snow man"

I'm year older, but I'm still a dork

sitting by a warm fire, enjoying an evening with friends

this is "snow" much fun!

fight!

silhouette in the sunset

snow ball

Photos taken with my Canon Rebel XT.

Head over to the fabulous Lotus' place for more weekly winners!

To see more of my photography, please visit my Flickr page.

Thursday Ten: New Year Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 22:29:00 +0000

Things about 2011:

1. I started my second 365 project.

2. I started a secondary 365 project called Food: 365.

3. I started a photo challenge called, One Little Word.

4. I'm hoping to attend this photography class next week. (Need to find a spare $45....before the class fills up...) - UPDATED - Thanks to the BEST SISTER IN THE WORLD, I'm going to this class! She gifted it to me for my birthday!

5. I got "promoted" (for lack of a better term) in my job. In addition to the social media responsibilities, I am now the blog editor and I oversee the website content. Squee!

6. Blissdom '11 is 2 1/2 weeks and I'm over the moon excited about it!

7. I have not yet put away the Christmas decorations even though the boxes that they are stored in have been sitting in my living room since Monday...

8. But today is Epiphany and many people wait until after Epiphany to "put away" Christmas. So, yeah...that's my story, stickin' to it.

9. I'm experiencing a bit a relief from my S.A.D.

10. My birthday is next week on 1/11/11. That is so awesome.

I Heart Faces Best Face of 2010

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 03:20:00 +0000

The challenge is to pick the best face photo you took in 2010. So I went back through my photo files and I found 20 pictures that I really liked. But I can only submit one. I kept paring the list down until I had four that I felt really represented my best efforts. One of my son, one of my daughter, two others of friends. How do I choose? Will it come down to eeny-meeny-miney-mo?

Finally it was between the photo of my daughter and the photo of my son.

It's just a simple photo challenge and yet I felt like I was choosing whether or not to keep one of them.

Thanks to some insight and advice from other photo-minded friends, I finally decided on this one:

It's the right choice. I remember when I took the photo, I was immediately drawn to it and very pleased with how it turned out. It's a SOOC* shot, which makes me happy. I could have played with the lighting and colors but it looks just like the moment did and I really don't want to change a thing about it.

*straight out of the camera

Weekly Winners, December 25-Jan 1: Shutterbug Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 18:14:00 +0000

The top two items on my "wish list" for Christmas this year were: the Epiphanie Belle in Pink (most fabulous camera bag) and a 50mm f/1.8 lens for my camera. Thanks to my wonderful, generous in-laws and parents, I received both! I am one happy shutterbug! So this week's pictures are all ones that I took courtesy of my new lens.

Meet Belle

lens love

trying out the f/22 with the 50mm

little kid delight

they grow up so fast

through the looking glass

Yesterday also heralded the beginning of my second Project 365. You can follow my efforts in that endeavor here. And since one photography project is just not enough, I've also endeavored to take one picture a day of a food item AND I've joined this class through the Shutter Sisters site. Hmmm...ambitious, much?

Photos taken with my Canon Rebel XT, 50mm f/1.8 lens.

Head over to the fabulous Lotus' place for more weekly winners!

To see more of my photography, please visit my Flickr page.

Resolutely unreflective

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 02:55:00 +0000

I opined on Twitter the other day that I neither cared to reflect on the previous year nor make resolutions for the coming year. I will just continue to keep putting one foot in front of the other and pray it's the right path.

However, I can't help but think a bit about what has transpired in the past year and wonder what the coming year will hold. Mostly though, I'm just thankful.

I never did finish my month of thanksgiving posts in November. I got pretty sick right after Thanksgiving and then I got pretty busy with work and holiday stuff. The one post that I regret not getting to was the one about my husband.

Without him, the past year would have been impossible and without him the coming year would be bleak. He has held our family together for the past two years in a time when many, many people are losing everything. We said from the very beginning of this season in our lives that as long as we have each other, everything will be fine. But I will admit that even though money has been tight, continuing to have a roof over our heads through it all has made this road easier to traverse.

I'm thankful for all he does and how he strives to take care of us. I'm thankful that he loves me, especially during those times when I am rather unlovable. I'm blessed to have him as my husband and the father of our children.

Truly, as long as we have each other, the other stuff just doesn't really matter. Whatever this next year brings, I know we'll be OK.

Weekly Winners, November 20-27: Thankful for Traditions

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 16:58:00 +0000

Blueberry muffins for breakfast on birthdays and Frozen Fridays during Summer break are some of the traditions we observe throughout the year. Then starting in October, we get into the holiday traditions with a family trip to the local pumpkin farm and pictures on the front porch with the freshly carved jack-o-lanterns. These are our own family traditions.

This past week, we participated in two traditions that come from other entities. First, the preschool/Kindergarten that both of my children attended always holds a Thanksgiving pageant and luncheon with the Kindergarteners and their parents. This year was my son's turn to be apart of that 50 year long tradition.

And secondly, many, many years ago when my oldest nieces where just itty-bitty, my mother-in-law started a tradition of "baking Christmas cookies with Nana". There are now 10 kids around the table ranging in age from twenty to six. (Note the obligatory touch of flour on their noses.)

Finally, we are one of those families that likes to wait until Santa drives down 34th Street at the end of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade before doing anything remotely "Christmas-y". So yesterday morning, while the kids were still at the cousin's house for the newly traditioned "Cousins Sleepover", David set-up our Christmas tree. It's still "nekkid" but it was really fun to hear our kids exclaim, "the Christmas tree!" when we pulled up to our house last night.

Photos taken with my Motorola Droid.

Head over to the fabulous Lotus' place for more weekly winners!

To see more of my photography, please visit my Flickr page.

Thankful for My Daughter

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Fri, 26 Nov 2010 15:27:00 +0000

Today, she is 10 1/2.

TEN AND A HALF.

She's been in my life even longer than that. Eleven years ago today, I had officially entered my second trimester of pregnancy with her but I was still feeling quite sick. I was tired and nauseous and anxious. But so happy.

I wanted a little girl. Of course, I would tell everyone that I didn't care if I had a boy or a girl but I knew, deep down, that I hoped for a girl. She was a dream come true.

She has grown into such a great kid. I feel incredibly blessed to have her as a daughter. She obeys, has a strong moral conscience, is eager to please and does not want to disappoint. She has more confidence and maturity at 10 1/2 than I think I had a eighteen. She asks great, hard, deep questions. She's musically talented and just lights up when she's around music. She expresses herself well through drawing and writing. She makes good friends and good choices. She's smart. Beautiful, inside and out. Very funny and fun to spend time with.

My daughter. I love her and I am thankful to her and thankful to God for letting me be her mother.

Thursday Ten: Thanksgiving Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Malia) — Fri, 26 Nov 2010 04:44:00 +0000

1. I'm thankful for a break. Yes, I fell off the everyday posting wagon. Life: it's what happens when you're not blogging. Work, family, friends. Laundry, cooking, cleaning. Wash, rinse, repeat.

2. I'm thankful for Thanksgiving Day. Today I got to see and hang out with extended family that we pretty much only see every couple of years on Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for the yummy food. And other than the cooking I did, thankful for a day to pretty much not do anything at all.

3. I'm thankful for music and the impact it has on my life.

4. I'm thankful for my camera and the hobby that brings me such joy.

5. I'm thankful for nail polish in a funky teal color that makes me feel hip and trendy, even if I'm not.

6. I'm thankful for coffee and how it helps get my mornings going in the right direction. Something to look forward to, a great reason to catch up with a friend, a way to treat myself when the afternoon sleepys try to take over.

7. I'm thankful for my sister who lives nearby and for my parents who live far away.

8. I'm thankful for the family I married into, even if they are a bit crazy. (But so am I, so it works.) ::Waves to the family blog stalkers!::

9. I'm thankful for a sassy apron that makes cooking and baking chic and stylish.

10. I'm thankful for you. If you're reading this, I'm grateful that you took the time to come and hang out in my little corner of the Internet. It's nice to know that someone is reading these ramblings that come from my brain. I'm glad it's you.