Just One Woman's Perception!

Light Within

2012-09-21T11:16:00.000-07:00

Each and every one of us come into this world with a very bright light. At various points in our lives we dim that light, some sooner than others through different circumstances. In some instances we are not even aware it has happened until we wake up one day to realize we have been merely existing and wandering through life feeling numb inside.

Somewhere we seemed to have lost a portion of that spark the bright light which made us who we truly are. However, we never really loose that light we can’t, it is us. Unconsciously or maybe even consciously we can choose to dim it for fear of rejection, worthlessness, not being enough or circumstances that seem to be out of our control but, it is never actually gone. It is always there inside of us just waiting to be sparked again.

There are moments when a person or people come in and they help to increase our light, most of the time without ever realizing it. They are so full of love and their light is shining so bright that they can’t help but add to us and cause ours to shine brighter. They help to remind us who we are and what we are capable of.

Everyone in this world is important. When we come to realize that we do have a purpose and we are so much more than we ever thought we were. That light within will glow very bright again. It's like dominoes one light after another increasing. There becomes a point where the effect is so strong a person will just walk by or smile at a another and their light will increase, and their vibrational level will change.The lights within will be their true brilliance.

Become Still

2012-09-20T14:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we get caught up in the day to days, and for a bit our vibrations, our energy levels seem to lower. We get caught in the cycle of worry and fear. While at the very same time we are able to see and point out the light at the end of the tunnel for others. We can feel as though we, ourselves are somewhere lost in that tunnel searching for a way out. Groping our way around not seeing or noticing that it is our very own light that has been lighting our way the entire time.

There isn't a light at the end of the tunnel because the light has always been a part of us. We were just closing our eyes too tightly in fear to recognize what we were looking for was already there. The answers are always there just waiting for us to become quiet, still ourselves and listen. Instead of trying to figure it all out with our head we can choose to feel and listen with our hearts.

What is Your Happy Thought?

2012-03-01T08:55:00.000-08:00

In the movie Peter Pan it is stated all you need to fly is a happy thought. With all that appears to be taking place in our world and with a lot of heightened emotions, can we really soar in joy with just a happy thought? Can we be freed from the old "unhappy thoughts" about ourselves that we believed were the truth? I believe we can!

What is your happy thought?

A happy thought, a remembering, a reminder of who you truly are!

Experiencing your personal truth!

2011-10-05T12:19:00.001-07:00

Everything on this planet has an energetic frequency or resonance. Everything is nothing more than energy.

Therefore everything animate or inanimate emits an energetic frequency, everything has an aura a light that can be seen by some and felt by all. Things are not really solid, our perception of them and the frequency of which they vibrate causes them to appear and feel solid to us.
When we learn to raise our own frequency, tap into our higher-self, our true self, miracles happen. Our bodies will begin to heal themselves. Our skin the human part of us will radiate wellness and a youthful glow from the inside out. It can be comparable to finding the fountain of youth.

Everything that once was, is changed.

Thoughts that were of fear, doubt, and self-loathing become transformed. Old thoughts are then replaced and filled with Love, acceptance, cherishing and light. We will see the real version of ourselves and experience life the way it was originally planned, peaceful, joy filled, effortless. It was never meant to be or seem hard! As the changes happen you will find a new found respect and love for all of God's creatures, Human, nature, and mother earth. You will desire to live in a kinder way a free and blissful way. Life will be joyful and filled with awe and wonderment.
Poverty, lack of anything, is a human miscreation based on fears that have been passed down into the cells from generation to generation. There is only abundance in all things!!
There is more than enough for all.

Our current relationships either mirror the ways we are loving and cherishing ourselves or the ways in which we don’t. It’s all good; we just get to take an internal look in the mirror that is our life. The stillness inside, contains the answers that we have been searching for. The searching and the doubt will then transform into the knowing and our own personal truth.

Seeing Life in Another Color

2011-10-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

It may appear to most people looking from the outside in, that the world is filled with chaos, darkness and fear everything that could be going wrong, is. How could it not when it appears that everything around us is falling apart? Things seem to be getting worse, relationships coming to an end right and left. People are losing their jobs and their sense of security. Countries are at war many people starving, and more, and more losing their homes and their possessions. For some it may also feel as though they're losing a sense of self. Emotions seem right on the surface and there is no controlling them. It feels as though people don’t have any control at all.

One of the biggest questions; what is going on? In the past, people went to school, went to college, and for the most part secured a job that they would work at until they retired. This does not seem to be the way anymore. More and more people are being laid off or fired. Our family has experienced this first hand. My husband was let go from his job due to health conditions back in January of this year. He was the main source of income to this family.

This was a blessing in disguise but, at the time it occurred, it felt far from it.

In this world it comes down to those “feelings” doesn’t it? How we feel or don’t feel about something or someone. Feelings are what can cause us to react or to choose to create. We may at the time be so deep into a situation that reacting appears to be a natural thing. This is a way that many have lived for most of their lives. I know that for me, reacting was almost always the way things were handled, and I am still working through that. If anything in my life took place that felt contrary to what I thought it should, I would get very upset. You could even say that I would get depressed. I did not feel that there was an alternative way to handle most situations and just felt like the world was out to get me. I have since learned that there is always a choice and there is also a gift in every experience in this life, we just don’t always see it that way.

We can in the moment of a challenge stop, take a step back, and look at the situation that is occurring, view it with a different perception. When we take that moment it gives us a chance to see it for what it truly is. More often than not, we will see and experience a situation in a different way. My husband losing his job is a good example. This was a huge thing for our family and it felt as though the rug was completely pulled out from under us. In that moment it appeared like our whole world had come crashing down. What were we going to do? There was no more job and very little money in the bank.

From one perspective it looked as though we were finished. However looking at it in a different way this was a huge blessing! Since returning from Kosovo my husband had not been happy at his job. Not only could I see it but it was felt very strongly. On his return he had decided that he wanted to go back to college and finish his nursing degree to achieve becoming an RN with BSN. We were not sure how he was going to accomplish this. My husband had gone back to school in 2004 for 2 years to get his nursing degree. He graduated with an LPN and then continued the following year to complete his RN. Due to many different factors he was not able to finish. The time that he was in school seemed to us like a huge sacrifice and financially we felt it. I can now see that all though we did not have a lot of money while he was in school we were always taken care of. Our family had everything that we needed and a few things that we wanted as well. Things just seemed to work out. However I did not see it that way back then nor did I feel very secure. All that I saw was that we were struggling and wondering when it was going to end.

This is why after his return from deployment he wrestled with the idea of returning to school. Because of these concerns he continued to work at his job. Every once in a while he would mention something about maybe, possibly going back and finishing his degree. The thought of what had taken place before was a big deterrent for him. He decided to put those thoughts on the back burner and continue on with his job. In January of 2011 everything changed. shortly after his arrival home from deployment in 2009 he was diagnosed with diabetes, amongst other things. For a few years he was able to control it through meds, diet and exercise. In January that all changed. His blood sugar levels increased tremendously. The day he was taken into the ER while at work his levels could not be measured they were so high. When his office got word that he was being put on insulin, he was let go.

Why do I share all of this with you? If looked at through fearful eyes and thoughts this can be seen and experienced as a horrible thing. Looked at through another perception it was a gift. When my husband was let go from the job that he no longer enjoyed this freed him to go back to school, to accomplish what it is he desired most.

This world is changing the people on it are changing and there's so much more love and light now. Even when it seems as though things are getting worse and we are experiencing many earth- shattering changes in this world. We can stop, observe and look at life through a different perception we can see and experience the wonderful changes taking place. This is much like seeing the beautiful colors of the rainbow after, and even during a storm. If we can see that the storm is as beautiful as the rainbow we will be able to experience our lives in a different color.

Life Lessons in Energy and Love

2011-09-16T12:32:00.001-07:00

I have been in this world now for 38 years. For a long time I felt dead inside, until two years ago when I came back to life.
Here is what I have learned and discovered on this journey:

Energy

The first thing that I have learned is that everything is made out of energy.

I guess I didn’t pay much attention in science class because this is actually a scientific fact. Science has been teaching and proving it for years. It has become real to me because I have seen and do see energy in the sky and all around. This energy can and is felt in our bodies — the reason for this is that our bodies are made up of energy. This causes us to be electromagnetic.

It reminds me of the old saying, “That which you sow, so shall you reap.” If we are constantly thinking negative thoughts and saying things such as “My life is crap,” or “Can this get any worse?” then that is what we will continue to experience. We will, like a magnet, attract more negativity.

We are focusing on the very thing that we don’t want and just continuing to create more of that.

At the same time if we are thinking positive, feeling joyful, being grateful and recognizing the gifts in this life, then we will receive and create more of that — more positivity, more joy, more bliss. We will also be able to recognize that it is all good.

There is so much beauty in this world to be seen and experienced.

When is the last time that we just stopped for a moment and listened to or appre-ciated all the beautiful things in this world? When was the last time we listened to the birds singing to us, or recognized that our pets are showing us how to love unconditionally? The animals in the forests live virtually stress-free because they know how to go with the flow of life.

We are capable of feeling this energy flowing and surging through our body.

It is also possible to feel another person’s energy.

A good example of this would be when you walk into the room and things just don’t feel right, or you feel very comfortable and at peace. Another good example is when a person walks in and it feels like the room becomes brighter and everyone is drawn to him or her.

All things in this world are made up of energy. The difference in the energy is that we are all vibrating at different frequencies.

As we begin to wake up and remember who we are and learn to love and accept ourselves for the truly magnificent beings that we are, our perceptions and knowing will change.

The whole world will change!

It will be all that is real — unconditional love, light, joy, bliss, prosperity, peace, freedom and abundance in all things. We will begin to sense the pure ecstasy and euphoria of life!

Love

All people on this planet just want to be loved and accepted for who they truly are.

Have you ever noticed to what lengths a little child will go just to get your attention? They are just saying in their way, look at me, and love me. Adults do the same thing to greater or lesser degrees.

Everyone wants to know and feel that they are loved unconditionally.

All people show and express love as much as they are capable. It all starts with us, internally, in our loving and acceptance of ourselves, and then we are able to love everyone unconditionally. We are able to see them and love and accept them for who they truly are.

People are not what they do, they are so much more! When you transform the fear you will find there is only love.

Love=Freedom and Freedom=Love

Love is the Key to everything!

Love is the Universal Language!

Through Love all things change and become what is real!

From Masks to Metamorphosis

2011-09-12T00:11:00.000-07:00

There are many of us out there who have felt as though we have had to wear a mask. To hide the self that we truly are. We may have even felt that in order to fit in, to be loved, and accepted, we have had to disguise ourselves. Be who others told us that we were, or how we felt it was appropriate to be, just to fit in, to be "normal", to feel loved. Many out there are feeling torn. They no longer desire to burden themselves down with the many layers of masks that they have put on. They are tired of hiding their light and pretending to be who they are not.

At the same time they hold a fear around dropping their masks to free themselves and be the authentic version of who they really are. People in this world desire to feel and know they are loved, to be free! Most of this life many have been told how to live and what to believe. There are people who are waking up now and starting to question those very beliefs and the upbringing that has shaped them into who they thought they were meant to be, supposed to be.

This can feel as though a person is trapped and that there is no way out. There is hope and there is in fact a way out. It may not be what you, or I think, or expect though, because the answers, the key actually resides inside. There is no need to search outside. It has been there all along. Now is the moment in which to choose whether or not you want to know your own truth and live it. The choice to live in your bliss and Joy!

This personal transformation can then be compared to the metamorphosis of the caterpillar to the butterfly. While the caterpillar is in its own right a beautiful creature. Its life is spent crawling around in the dirt and somewhat limited. Whereas, when the caterpillar chooses to become the butterfly it goes through a metamorphosis. It is no longer limited to crawling around on the ground. The butterfly's now free to go and experience what it chooses. Through this change the caterpillar has become free and even more magnificent and beautiful than it once was. Like you, this was always inside of that amazing little caterpillar. There is a butterfly inside us all longing to be free and to experience the life that we were truly meant to experience.

The Path we are traveling

2011-08-01T08:28:00.000-07:00

I was reading a verse the other day written by Walt Whitman

"Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you. You must travel it by yourself. It is not far. It is within reach. Perhaps you have been on it since you were born, and did not know. Perhaps it is everywhere - on water and land."

~ Walt Whitman~ (Leaves of Grass)

It inspired me to write this;

We are in essence all on a journey to remember and experience in this life who we truly are and feel and know the Joy of this. Many of us through our personal beliefs and experiences during this life, have come to believe that we do not have a purpose. We have built and encased ourselves into personal prisons of self doubt, feelings of abandonment, worthlessness, and disbelief. We may even question and think who am I to accomplish or be anything in this life. For that matter, who am I at all. We may be experiencing questioning, and lack in many different areas of our lives. We might even feel that there is not a light at the end of the tunnel, and things only seem to be getting worse.

Many fears and doubts are coming to the surface to be looked at then cleared or transformed. Behind every fear is the truth, the truth of our true selves. While we are all on the same journey, every person is at a different level of their own metamorphosis. This journey of self discovery, of remembering can not be taken for us by anyone else, that part is all on us. The fears and thoughts reside in our own minds and only we can choose to remember and discover the truth of them, the truth of our wholeness. We can all however help one another through this adventure, this journey of life by being a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, some sage advice, or even a hand to hold. We are all one and we are never alone, what one person is going through another may have already experienced or is also experiencing. Together we can all create a world of Love, Peace, Joy, Harmony, and Remembrance. The world and existence that we are meant to live in.

New Family Lake Adventure

2011-07-19T10:19:00.000-07:00

You just don't always know what might happen from day to day! Each day is different and full of life's little and sometimes big, journey's.

We had quite the adventure yesterday! Went out to the lake for a relaxing fun family day. What a wonderful getaway, swimming, floating, sunning, and random Hill conversation. A fantastic time for all! It was warm outside so Rob picked up one of the folding chairs to dunk in the water in order to cool off a little. He did not notice the car keys were inside the the chairs cup holder, none of us did. The keys then fell into the water, which did not have very good visibility, and was around 20 feet deep.
The 2 boys and Rob spent the next 20 mins taking turns diving down to the bottom of the lake. Brandon said he felt the keys with his feet a couple of times. Sean thought that he did as well. On one of the trips down Rob ended up with a hook in his finger. This little adventure could have turned into a very expensive one and a time when we could have given up hope. That was the only key to our car and it was one of those that also has a key less entry remote built on to it.
As they continued to dive down into the water we never doubted that one of them would retrieve our sunken keys. On Rob's last dive down I had this very strong feeling that he would be returning from the bottom of the lake with our keys in hand. He was down there for a bit but none of us had a panicky feeling. We knew that everything would be okay. The feeling grew stronger as he began to come back up. I know Rob, and for dramatic effect he raised his fist up first through the surface of the water and there in his hand were our car keys. We all cheered and clapped. I then kissed him and called him our hero. Alyssa kissed her dad on the cheek as well.
What an adventure we had! The key works like it never happened. I never doubted for a second that it would! We stayed a few hours longer and had a very enjoyable time!
by Katrina Singer Hill on Tuesday, July 19, 2011 at 12:13pm

ONE POST AT A TIME

2011-07-09T10:34:00.000-07:00

I was listening to a CD the other night as I was driving home from a meeting. The title of it was the daffodil principle. There was a moment in the CD where the woman was telling a story about a daffodil garden, and it hit me so strongly! The kind of strong that you feel in your cells and that brings tears to your eyes. She said the words just one bulb at a time. This was how a woman had planted thousands of daffodils, just one bulb at a time. In just those simple words it hit me so strongly. That is what I have been desiring to do all along. Like those flower bulbs I have been posting one blog, one article, one message at a time. Desiring to bring hope, joy, freedom and Love into the lives of others. If through these posts and messages one persons life is changed or a hint of remembering takes place I am truly Grateful! I desire that all people are able to feel their light and experience the Love that they truly are! To be an instrument or light in their own personal metamorphosis and that of the world. Guiding each other to remember who they truly are and for all to Love and accept themselves. Just one post, one , message, or one smile at a time!

Going With The Flow of Life

2011-06-28T16:42:00.001-07:00

In life it may seem like there are many twists and turns and at times we feel like we don't know whether we are coming or going. One thing is for certain though, we are always in choice. We may not realize it but, in this life we always have a choice. In these moments we can either choose to react to a situation or we can create. Though it may not seem like it in that moment there is always a choice!
Recently I felt very, very sick, and even that is putting it mildly. To me it was a strange feeling because I really don't get sick anymore. I used to get sick all the time I had a lot of anxiety and so many fears, that most of my adult life I felt awful. When my family caught colds, flu’s or anything I would catch it. Then not only would I get it but, my body would hold on to it for a while. I would be down in bed and then also be feeling guilty for all the things that were not getting done in my house.
Thursday night I started feeling very nauseous. I even had to leave a very enjoyable meeting before I wanted to. I am so glad that I listened to that inner voice because I made it home just in time! No details but, let's just say eww! I crawled into bed and at 3 am way more yuck! I crawled back into bed and stayed there until 3 P.M. Friday afternoon. We had, as a family decided ealier in the week that Friday was the day that we were going to have some fun and just go with the flow. We had wanted to do it earlier in the week but, due to weather and prior commitments we were not able. The idea for this day came about because we had all been caught in the same routine. It was time to get out and enjoy life. Take a moment and not only enjoy each others company but also bask in the beauty and wonder of nature.
As I was laying in bed I kept thinking, I don't want to be laying here anymore this is not how I desire to spend my day. Later in the day I sipped some water and had a light snack, I then waited a bit to see if what I had ingested would stay down. I told my husband that I really wanted to embark on this new adventure. He asked me if I was sure and the moment I said I was he gathered the two boys and they went down stairs to get the inner tubes and rubber 2 man boats.
They prepared all that was needed and we separated into two cars. One car would be left at our ending point and one at the place were we would start. I still felt a little weak and dizzy but, I was very excited about this new adventure! We arrived at our starting point then we got all the items ready and cast off. My husband and I were each in an inflatable boat and the two boys were each in an inner tube. As we were floating down this river we were laughing and having a great time. When we saw an obstacle to steer away from we did with ease and even laughed and joked about it. The running joke was the sticks are attacking. We laughed about is so hard and continued to laugh and joke about it for the duration of the trip!
As our journey progressed time seemed to stand still and it felt as though we were in our own little world. There was just peace and relaxation mixed with some rowing and steering. As the evening continued night was upon us and we realized that it was going to be dark very soon. We did not think to bring a flashlight with us because we were unaware of how long it was going to actually take. My husband informed us that it was going to become dark in a while and that we might not be able to see very well. Another factor was we still had a long way to go.
In this situation we had a few choices panic, go with the flow or find some area to get out and walk the rest of the way. We chose to just go with the flow of the river. It was absolutely gorgeous out there the sky was filled with stars and we were able to see not only shooting stars but satellites as well. The tree lined banks were filled with fireflies, so many in fact that the trees looked like they were covered in twinkling Christmas lights. One by the boys had become cold so Brandon climbed into Rob's boat with him and later Sean climbed into mine. At one point my husband posed the question "did you ever think that we would ever do anything like this?" I said no, but aren't we glad that we did.
What a beautiful and amazing awe filled experience we were having. We soon learned that even though we could not see the obstacles that were up a head we could in fact hear the difference in the sound of the water before we reached them. This made it so we were able to steer away and continue our trip without any harm. Much awe, and joy was being experienced by all.
This little adventure can be compared to our Journey in life. We cannot always control everything and do not always see all of life's obstacles in front of us. We can however choose not to react and to listen to that small voice inside of us, that knowing, that intuition. Much like the subtle difference that we were able to distinguish in the sound of the water when there were obstacles in our path.
As many sacred texts state Be still and know that I AM. In the stillness is where the answers lie inside us all. This is what allows us to go with the flow of life. It is the resistance that causes us the confusion, pain and dis-ease. Life is what we choose it to be! We can choose to go with the flow or we can choose to resist. It is in essence always our choice!

Self Love

2011-06-19T23:55:00.001-07:00

What does this mean? A definition of self love is a love that is self-centered. Not in a sense where a person does not care about anyone’s well being but their own, not a me, me, me. A Love where you unconditionally Love and care for yourself. You no longer have the need or seek for outside approval. You Love and accept yourself for who you are in this very moment regardless of anything outside of you. You no longer fish for compliments or judge yourself. For that matter you no longer judge others for in judging another you are in fact judging yourself. You Love and cherish yourself even when you may not feel it from others, even when you are not fully seeing the real you.
When you come to this place of self Love and acceptance you are able to Love and appreciate others for who they truly ARE. You will no longer see them as sick or bad. You will realize that all are creating their lives and functioning at the level that they are capable at and see it all as perfect. You will empathize with them but not get down in the depths of despair along side. There will be no more better than or less than games. If someone says something that you don’t like you will no longer take it to heart.
You will just be able to say no thank you in a loving and compassionate way. When you want to be with your spouse or significant other and they don’t want to you will not allow it to effect you in any way. You will simply be able to move on with your day or evening and go forward in your Joy. Knowing and feeling how deeply Loved and truly cherished you are. There appears to be so much going on in this world right now and there are times when you may just feel so overwhelmed and wonder if it is ever going to get any better. Am I ever going to feel that Joy and Peace? We do have a choice, we are the ones that get to choose to live in and create that Peace and Joy, to be able to experience it. At times it may not seem like we have a choice, that life just keeps serving it up to us. In this there is a gift, a new knowing behind all the old beliefs. The old thoughts telling you that you are not good enough or you are not worthy. It is up to us to remember the truth of who we truly are and the truth behind the stories and beliefs that we held onto so strongly. In our remembering and uncovering of these nuggets of truth, it frees us and others and also Empowers them to do the same. We are all one and we are all whole in this very moment. It is our divine right destiny to know and remember this. To live the life of Joy, Bliss, Peace and Freedom the life we are meant to live!! The greatest gift of Love that we can give to ourselves and the world is inner peace. This can only be found from within and once discovered will change the world for the highest and best of all!

Who or what defines us?

2011-04-20T21:31:00.000-07:00

Are we defined by the cars we drive or the clothes we wear? Are we defined by things that have happened to us in the past? The answer to these questions is a big No! People are so much more than that. Are things fun to have? Yes, but, they don't make us who we truly are. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
The things that seem to us as mistakes are the biggest lessons in this life. No one person, event, or thing defines who we are. We are the ones who create our reality. It is through our choices and beliefs that our life is made manifest. In our subconscious lies those beliefs, we may not even be aware of some. There are many beliefs that have been passed down from generation to generation through genetics. We could be holding a belief inside of us that we are not worthy or that we are unimportant or unloved. I have experienced many of those thoughts myself as well as the belief of being unsuccessful.
I used to define success as someone who was famous and appeared to have it all, the money, the prestige. A person can appear to have it all and have feelings of loneliness and still not feeling worthy. I felt unworthy and alone a lot throughout the years. I also carried around thoughts of having no purpose in this life.
For who was I? I was Rob's wife and my children's mother. That was the definition of me and I was not even good at that. I had become angry and felt unloved and unappreciated. I felt like I would do and do and it never seemed to be enough.
What I came to learn is that I was not angry at my family at all. I had become very angry with myself. What had I accomplished, when did my dreams come true? Years and years of self depreciating thoughts and constantly being concerned of what others thought of me.
The fact is we are always in choice. We can choose to react or we can choose to look at the situation from a different perception.
Why was I so angry? I had based my beliefs of who I was on the other people around me. I let others define me. I did not love, cherish or accept myself. I did not know who I was or if I had a purpose for being here. If we can not Love and cherish ourselves how can we possibly Love another.
Everyone in this world is capable of Love for we are Love. We only express as much love to ourselves and in turn to others at the level we are capable. Everyone is loving everyone else at the highest level that they can in that moment.
I do know that I have a purpose and know all others have a purpose as well. Everyone is a unique piece to this magnificent puzzle called life! We are All Magnificent and Amazing and we all have something to share!

Stories

2011-03-25T22:19:00.000-07:00

Everyone in this life has a story, it is our stories that create our beliefs. When we are ready to let go of our stories we will see our lives change. We will then be able to love, accept and cherish ourselves, which allows us to do the same with the world. I have come to understand the best way to serve this world is by healing ourselves and not being afraid to shine bright. By shining our light and being our authentic self this frees others to do the same.This is energetically paying it forward *~♥~*

2011-03-01T07:44:00.001-08:00

Where fear is transformed to Love there is Freedom and Peace!!! :-)

2011-02-26T15:18:00.001-08:00

There is sooo much Love and Light in this world!! Breath it in, feel it!!! 8-)

2011-02-22T07:32:00.001-08:00

Joy the design...Joy is the objective!!!

Sometimes you don’t always know!

2011-02-15T21:05:00.000-08:00

Interesting how in one day lives can be changed. The truth is in seconds lives can be changed. Now, that can be viewed as a great thing, and, or sometimes it might be seen and feel like the rug is being pulled out from under you. It is all based upon a person’s perception in that moment. I am choosing to look at this as a new door and an opportunity for exciting new changes. Did I freak out in the beginning no; I chose not to go into reaction right away. Later when it all came to a head and became reality, for that moment, I had a big freak out!

January 26^th things in our life quickly changed. The day started out as it normally did. The kids went to school and my husband went to work. I was getting ready take a shower but, decided to call my husband first. He sounded strange and told me he would call me back later. I got in the shower and while in there I thought I heard my cell ring. I hurried out and there was a missed call. I knew my husband was the one who called without even looking at it. I called him back, and things did not feel right nor did he sound right. The first tip was that the place he was in had an echo. I had never heard that on a phone call with him.

I proceeded to ask him where he was and he told me the ER. He then told me that he had not been feeling well for a few days but, had never let on about it. He had arrived at work, which is on an MRI truck. At that particular time they had been parked outside of the hospital located near us. He said he was feeling very strange and decided to go in and speak to his doctor. His doctor then ordered blood work. When he got the results back from the tests he personally walked my husband to the emergency room. His blood sugar levels were off the charts and the doctor was quite concerned.

After my husband returned from his deployment in Kosovo he was diagnosed with diabetes. He was placed on two different prescriptions for diabetes as well as a few for high cholesterol. He had not been placed on insulin before this time; he was managing his blood sugar levels through the medicine and a change of diet. Apparently this was not enough to keep his levels down.

When he called I was very concerned and asked him if he would like me to come down to the ER to be with him. He said not yet but he would give me a call and let me know. He would probably need me to drive him home. A couple of hours later he called and said he was ready for me to come down there with him. My thinking is that he wanted to be stabilized before I arrived so I would not see him in the state he had been in previously. This was not my first time seeing him in the emergency room he has been hospitalized a few times during our marriage but, that did not make it any easier.

When I walked in and saw him lying on that bed in a weakened condition with an IV in his arm, a blood pressure cuff and not to mention a heart monitor I got a little nervous. The first thing I said to him was “what the hell”. Not the sweetest thing to say mind you but, that was my first reaction. I proceeded to walk over to him touch his arm and ask him what happened. He then explained the story to me. All total he was in that ER for 5 hours. The nurses were very kind to him. He knows most of them because he was a previous employee of the hospital. My husband is trained as an LPN. He left the hospital because he could make better money for our family driving the MRI truck and helping with the patients who came for scans.

We were allowed to leave when they were finally able to get his blood sugar down to a manageable level. His doctor then prescribed Lantis (insulin shots) to take at home for a bit to try and get his blood sugar balanced. He decided he was going to walk over to the MRI truck and get his things; he was done for the day. He told me to just go ahead and return home and he would meet me there in a few minutes. I drove the car home and awaited his return. On arrival he told me the story of what had happened on the truck.

His supervisor had been on the truck and she had called the company and let them know what had happened. The very next day my husband received a phone call his driving privileges had been revoked. This all happened without the chance to follow up with his doctor. In one day my husband no longer had a job, a means to support our family. Then, after speaking with my husband and his doctor the company realized that they may have been a bit hasty. They said that the only option would be to go to a DOT certified doctor and get a full exam. The thing is before my husband even arrived the doctor had decided not to let him drive. He then proceeded to tell my husband he does not give hand outs.

We did make the most of the day in Kansas City though, we vowed that after lunch we would take a break from talking about the situation and just enjoy each others company. His Boss gave him a call while we were at lunch; it was a conference call with a few of the people in charge. They agreed that the action had been hasty and wanted my husband to file for an exemption. This meant that he would have to go see 3 more doctors in Kansas City. This could take up to 12 weeks with no pay and no guarantee of reinstating his job. I am not going to tell you that it wasn’t a bit of a shock because, it was.

Tuesday, this was the day after the appointment; we sat down and wrote down what our options were. We could chance trying for the exemption but, we did not know how we would pay our bills. The next option was to be let go and file for unemployment. Over much deliberation we chose to have them let him go and file for unemployment. We felt that was the best option. I have a deep understanding and compassion for all of those people out there on unemployment! I am not sure how they think anyone can pay their bills on unemployment.

We are not rolling over and playing dead though. There are too many opportunities out there for us. One of which, is that my husband wants to go and finish his nursing degree, in 2 1/2 years he will be an RN with a BSN. In the meantime we are looking for a little seed money to start a small business to support our family along with a few other options. I know that everything will work out. I am not going to beat myself up about freaking out on Friday. My emotions got the better of me but my heart knows that everything will be okay. It is so awesome the way things work out when you look at them with a different perspective. If one door closes many more open and they are even better than that first door. I am truly Grateful for all of my life experiences, my amazing husband, beautiful inspiring family, the awesome loving people that are coming into my life, and this new and Joy filled path. This is my journey, my healing and One Woman’s Perception!

2011-02-15T11:03:00.001-08:00

God is never apart from us! He is always A Part of Us!! It is our belief that we are separate that separates us from him and others :-)

2011-02-13T18:42:00.001-08:00

"If you give your life as a wholehearted response to love, then love will wholeheartedly respond to you."
Marianne Williamson

2011-02-13T18:41:00.001-08:00

"If I choose to bless another person, I will always end up feeling more blessed."
Marianne Williamson

2011-02-10T10:09:00.001-08:00

LOVE is a very high vibration 8-)

2011-02-02T08:33:00.001-08:00

"Your Amazing, Just the way you are"!!!
Bruno Mars

2011-01-29T07:24:00.001-08:00

It is the Light the Magnificence in ALL!! :-)

2011-01-21T08:36:00.001-08:00

What is your Passion? What is it that lights you up inside? :0)