Just Outsmart Them

Grow With Us - FBCW: 2 Hands-On Ways We Do Missions at FBCW!

Mon, 19 Sep 2011 23:03:00 -0400

Grow With Us - FBCW: 2 Hands-On Ways We Do Missions at FBCW!:

This tent will help connect you to the 2 hands-on ways we do missions at FBCW: Operation Christmas Child and The Honduras Container Project.

If you haven’t noticed already, there’s a giant Easy Up tent dominating the foyer of FBCW with fake leaves dangling from it. And in case you missed…

Cell phones can be great, yet DANGEROUS

Thu, 18 Aug 2011 15:33:36 -0400

    Ok, I’m about to make a lot of students upset and some parents uncomfortable.

    So, before you read this, know that this post is completely rooted in love and birthed from a heart that wants to see families thrive. On one hand cell phones have become an essential tool that allows parents to keep tabs on and communicate with their kids. On the other hand, like any other thing, this too can be abused. Also, know that this post isn’t based on national statistics or polls, but rather from observations I’ve made with students and families that I come into contact with.

    Few students that I come into contact with anymore don’t have cell phones. Most incoming 6th graders even have cell phones. In fact, with our mass texting service, it’s one of the primary ways I communicate information to our students from The Vine. The fact that students have cell phones doesn’t bother me. However, with new and improved ways to communicate comes new and improved ways to get in trouble.

    Here are 2 of the biggest ways I’ve seen students abuse their cell phones.

1. Pornography –
    I almost routinely talk with students who confess a problem with looking at pornography. The most common way in which they access it is through the use of their phones. Most phones now access the internet with or without a data plan. As long as they have access to a router, they have access to pornography. Don’t have a router in your house? Not a problem. I’ve talked with students who simply log onto their neighbors router signal long after the parents are asleep. Plus, being mobile means they can find privacy anywhere in or outside of the house.

    This pornography problem would be more accurately described as an epidemic. I can’t stress the validity of this issue enough. So many students are experiencing addictions to porn at such a young age. I’m not talking about the stereotypical “bad” kid. I’m talking about great kids from great families who are losing these daily battles of temptation to look at pornography.

    This addiction is teaching our children to disrespect God’s gift of sex. It’s teaching our young men to look at young women like objects that they can abuse to fulfill some physical fantasy. And, so many young men are succeeding in this goal rooted from this addiction.

    It goes without saying that this approach to relationships is completely opposite of what we learn from scripture.

2. Texting & networking until the sun comes up –
    If you have a student who is dealing with the temptations mentioned above, then this becomes particularly problematic for both the recipient and sender of the texts or online chats/posts/messaging. But, let’s start by talking about what’s happening with late night cell phone usage.

    I see a lot of situations in which long after the parents are off to bed, students (even on school nights) are in their room texting/networking until the wee hours of the morning. Students will quickly counter with, “What!?! I’m just talking to my friends.” And, in their defense, sometimes that’s all it is.

    On other hand, perhaps the more realistic hand, this is when most bad choices seem to take place. I mean come on parents, when do you think “sexting” occurs? And, just because your child may not be sending it doesn’t mean their not receiving it. This is how it happens. One student talks another student into sending the pic. Next, the recipient sends that pic to the rest of the world. Therefore, students who weren’t even involved in the initial sexting are now the recipient of sexting.

    But even outside of sexting, this is when students are getting REALLY BRAVE with their communication.   Why? It’s because it’s completely unsupervised, easily deleted, and silent. This is when students are being convinced to advance physically in relationships. This is when the junior high and senior high relationships are reaching a level of commitment that they don’t need to reach yet in their life.   These are the times in which great kids, AWESOME kids, are falling into temptation. They know better, they’ve been taught great values from great parents, but the temptation is simply too strong because the borders and boundaries of protection haven’t been put in place.

    Already, both students & parents are coming up with excuses to justify this type of cell phone usage in their head. I’ve heard it all before.

Parent: “My child is a really good kid, they stay out of trouble, they make good grades, and I trust them to make good decisions.”

    This is one of the scenarios that scare me the most. The reason is because it’s been the “best of the best” type kids who I’ve seen mess up with these cell phone privileges. They ARE the good kids! They ARE the kids that typically stay out of trouble! They ARE the kids who make good grades!

    Despite how wonderful these kids certainly are, not one of them is immune to sin. Just because these students have great track records doesn’t mean they won’t peddle right off the cliff or fall into a snare when you’re not there. I realize you can’t shelter your children from sin or stop them from ever making a mistake in life. But why provide them with such an easy avenue to do that right in your own home. Their sense of entitlement shouldn’t triumph your sense of protection.

Student: “Don’t you trust me!?!”
    This is perhaps the lamest excuse known to mankind, and yet I’ve seen parents fall for it. This is simply a generic, not well thought out, play of words to make the parent feel guilty for setting boundaries. If your child plays this card, simply play it back on them with, “Do you not trust me to make good decisions and protect my family? Do you not trust that I’m acting in your best interest? Even knowing that I love you more than any breathing creature on this planet, you don’t trust me to set this boundary on a cell phone that I provide you as the parent? Don’t you trust me?”

    Be honest with them about the temptations that exist there. Be honest with them about what you would be tempted to do with cell phone privileges had they existed in your teenage days. Let them know that you’re human too. Let them know how much you care for them, even about their high school and junior high relationships. If they can understand how much you love them, they’ll trust YOU.

Parent: “My child would be FURIOUS with me if I took that phone away from them at night.”

    If you’re a parent who fears your child’s wrath, you have to know that something is not right. I have a strong willed 2 year old who was mad at me last night for taking away his plastic sword in which he was hitting his brother with. The fact that he’s upset just isn’t important to me, teaching him boundaries is though. Parents simply have to act in the best interest of their children, even when their children don’t fully understand or agree. They’re going to fight plenty of temptation on their own when they leave your house. Spend time helping them fight temptation while you’re still under the same roof. Also, if they throw a baby fit, then punish them for that too;)

2 practical tips for cell phone usage:

    1. Plug them into a charger in a public area of the house by 10pm (or whatever time you feel is appropriate in your house). If your child wants to talk with their friends until the sun comes up, then invite them to a sleepover.

    2. Reserve the right to look at any and all texts or search history. They’re just talking to they’re friends, right? What’s the big deal, right? If they want privacy, get them a diary. If you’re stepping out in “trust” by putting a cell phone in the hands of your child, then they can “trust” you can’t they?
    When students know that you can reserve that right as part of the deal, they’ll hesitate with their online bravery. They’ll even warn their friends that you may read it, limiting their friends bravery as well. And, if you see major gaps in text history, then why? Do the math.
    This tactic won’t wreck anybody’s social life, trust me. They can still have plenty of conversations that you won’t know about or hear of. This simply limits the temptation that falls on YOUR watch.

[20] Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
(Colossians 3:20 ESV)

Keep Pursuing Jesus,

Cody

What are the rules of what women can and can't do in a baptist church? Please answer, I am quite curious.

Mon, 15 Aug 2011 15:45:11 -0400

Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous,

Sorry for the delay in getting back with you on this blog. The month of July is one of the most demanding months of the year for me here at the church. In addition to that, the family and I took a trip back to our home state of Indiana to visit family here in August.

Anyway, the answer to your question is actually very complicated. With that said, I’m going to attempt to answer it in a couple different ways. Let’s start off by talking about the Baptist church. Baptist churches, in most cases I’ve seen, operate pretty independently. Therefore, what women can and can’t do seem to vary from church to church. Some Baptist churches allow women to sit in positions of authority and some don’t.

However, any denomination worth it’s weight would agree that scripture is the ultimate authority and should be consulted on this issue. So, it’s more important to know what the Bible says women can and can’t do right?

In our walk through 1 Peter this week in The Vine, we actually covered 3:1-7. This is a section of scripture in which Peter is encouraging a specific conduct from men and women in marriage. With your question lingering on my to-do list, I took the opportunity to discuss gender roles in the church.

Here is a link to 1 Peter (Part 7) entitled, “Want to be a good husband or wife someday?”

This will hopefully answer some questions in your head regarding this common question. Please feel free to ask more specific questions or anything else. And, thanks for taking the time to ask!

Keep pursuing Jesus,

Cody

That GUY!

Fri, 12 Aug 2011 12:08:05 -0400

     Working out in a gym while on the road has its’ advantages and disadvantages. I love working out with a partner, yet sometimes I love just putting in my headphones and being completely antisocial in a gym setting. While back in my home state of Indiana yesterday, I worked out in a gym that I don’t typically venture to.

     Upon arrival to the gym I inserted my headphones, avoided any and all eye contact with anyone, and started into my routine with the hopes of mentally creating my own fortress of solitude. However, “That-Guy” had other plans for my workout time.

     I often run into “That-Guy” at gyms that I visit while traveling. “That-Guy” is the guy in the gym who is driven by testosterone to educate you on his workout and to inform you about a super strong friend that he had/has. This particular “That-Guy” managed to educate me on all his friends lifting achievements and abilities in a short amount of time.

     I learned about his friends bench press max, cardio program, lifting schedule, mixed martial arts experience, body fat index, and so on. “That-Guy” was rattling off info about his buddy like a kid reading the back of a baseball card regarding his favorite player.

     A couple of things about “That-Guy” intrigued me. First of all, I found it peculiar as to how enthusiastic “That-Guy” was about his friend. He was COMPELLED to talk about him. His enthusiasm was so intense that, I’ll admit, I kind of wanted to meet him. Secondly, it was interesting to me how he was excited and willing to tell me, a complete stranger, about his friend without hesitation. I mean, we had never met and he knew absolutely nothing about me, or my personality.

     In a moment of analysis regarding “That-Guy”, I began to feel convicted. The conviction I felt prompted a few questions to start swirling in my mind:

     Am I as enthusiastic about sharing Jesus with complete strangers as this guy is with sharing stats about his friend?

     What kind of impact would I have if I began to display this type of eagerness and willingness to share Jesus with anyone I met, even in a gym?

     Am I too afraid to be labeled “that guy”?

     Even if it wasn’t the right moment to share, was I still waiting and ready for that moment to show up?

     Was I looking to create a moment that would enable me to share?

As our conversation came to a close, so did the swirling questions in my head. And, my opportunity to share the gospel with that fellow in some way had passed.

One of the biggest reasons we hesitate to share our faith in these situations could be chalked up to the fear of awkwardness. Or perhaps we hesitate in fear of being labeled in the same way I just labeled “That-Guy”.

However, there are many scriptures that could be used to combat that mindset. Consider this one:

Matthew 10:32-33:
“everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven, 33but whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven.”

Keep pursuing Jesus,

Cody

FBCW in Honduras: Churches helping churches is biblical...

Thu, 14 Jul 2011 17:26:56 -0400

FBCW in Honduras: Churches helping churches is biblical...:

growwithus:

Why are we spending so much of our time, money, and resources to help churches in Honduras? There are many moral reasons that I could list even outside of Scripture that would justify these efforts. However, our primary reason comes from a heart that desires to obey the Bible.

Paul…

Can you share your faith without speaking?

Fri, 08 Jul 2011 15:08:00 -0400

Can you share your faith without saying anything?

    Verbally sharing your faith as a teen or as an adult can be an intimidating thought, no doubt. I mean, what if you say something wrong? What if they ask a question you can’t answer? What if you come across a little nutty and damage your friendship? Those are all probably natural fears when considering this emotional feat.

    Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a way to share your faith in Jesus nonverbally that could supplement the responsibility to share your faith verbally? Well, I have good news for you. Scripture teaches that there IS a nonverbal way to share your faith.

Here are a couple verses to consider:
1 Peter 2:12
Matthew 5:16

     For example, the way that we live our lives, the way we treat people, and the way we respond to difficult situations are all supposed to attract people to God. In the same way, those elements of our lives could push people away from God! Is that scary to anyone else!?! I think we have to be VERY intentional each and every day to make sure that we attract people TO God rather and push them away with our lives.

     Last week while driving through the heavy metropolitan traffic of Williamstown, I came to a screeching halt as I decided at the last minute that the yellow light wasn’t going to hang around long enough for me to get through. Nobody was ever in any danger, no one was behind me, and no one was even in the intersection. Then, out of nowhere, a spectator in another car entering the intersection pulled up next to me and stopped all of the traffic behind her to SCREAM obscenities at me questioning my ability to drive (I’ll spare you the details). She went on to inform me that millions of people die in America everyday because of people just like me. Ouch…

     Do you want to know how I wanted to respond? I’m not going to lie, I wanted to go “HULK SMASH” on the entire situation. Again, I obeyed the traffic law! Even if I would’ve ran the yellow/red (let’s call it orange) light, nobody was even in the intersection. Running the orange light would’ve been a hazardous move, which is why I chose to stop abruptly.

     Instead of losing my cool, I just gave her my attention and listened. I mean, what would an equally vulgar response have accomplished? After all, I don’t know what kind of day she’s had, what kind of problems she’s dealing with, what her home life is like, or what she believes about the truths of God. But I do know this, she is a soul. And, as a believer should I not do everything I can to show her the love of God? Trust me, in that moment, I had to QUICKLY be very intentional about my actions as a believer. I’ll admit, that is a feat that I don’t always successfully accomplish in those types of scenarios unless I’ve been living intentionally.

     Just think how an equally awful response could have ruined any chance to ever minister to that lady. That reality really sank in when I saw that in the truck behind this lady was a friend of mine who attends the church, Mike Coiner (who, by the way, was shaking his fist in laughter while enjoying the lady’s rant towards me during the altercation, perhaps the most enjoyable part of the experience).

     Yet, Mike’s surprise appearance reminded me that you NEVER know who is watching you live your life in those situations.

     In conclusion, YES you can share your faith without words. It’s a biblical concept and it can/should happen even unknowingly if you are living in an intentional pursuit of Jesus. And remember, this is a supplemental way to share your faith. I don’t think we should use this concept to justify never sharing our faith verbally.

PARENTS: Are you challenging your child to live intentionally? Have you shared with them any experiences about how someone’s life drew you to Jesus?

STUDENTS: Live intentionally! And make sure to live intentionally online as well. Even your lives on Facebook should point to God.

Keep Pursuing Jesus,

Cody

Jesus at the Dutch Pantry

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 14:13:40 -0400

“If you only desire enough of Christ to save yourself, then you probably don’t even have that.” - unknown to me

Yesterday I listened to a pastor who quoted another pastor with the statement above. Chritianesse quotes outside of scripture usually don’t impress me and often sometimes even annoy me. For some reason, this one struck me down to my soul.

The principle here reminded me of a conversation I had with a student several weeks back. One afternoon this Vine Student (I’ll call Will) and I met for lunch at our beloved Dutch Pantry here in Williamstown. I love meeting with students like Will and prying into their lives. Anyway, we talked about school, relationships, their family, discussed scripture (they actually initiated that), along with various other topics while we ate.

          One discussion that we had in particular was about a friend of Will’s that was a little hard to get along with. Will’s buddy was down and out at the moment, dealing with some difficult times in their life. This situation in return made his buddy incredibly hard to be around. They were bitter, emotionally destructive, angry, judgmental, and perhaps annoying. Yet, Will made it very clear to me that even though they were hard to deal with, he felt called to remain friends with them!   Will said he felt a responsibility to help walk along side and love on this individual during this dark time in their life.

     I was stunned and inspired by this student and their determination to live out their life this way at such a young age. It was so clear that Will was pursuing this difficult friend in an extremely intentional way out of his love for Jesus Christ. This students’ relationship with Jesus is a no-doubter! Is yours?

Scripture that comes to mind regarding this encounter:

          “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.”
(1 Timothy 4:12 ESV)

          “But someone will say, “You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. You believe that God is one; you do well. Even the demons believe—and shudder! Do you want to be shown, you foolish person, that faith apart from works is useless? Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered up his son Isaac on the altar? You see that faith was active along with his works, and faith was completed by his works; and the Scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness”—and he was called a friend of God. You see that a person is justified by works and not by faith alone. And in the same way was not also Rahab the prostitute justified by works when she received the messengers and sent them out by another way? For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead.”
(James 2:18-26 ESV)

In conclusion, I’ll once again leave you with a couple thoughts.

Students: Are you living intentionally for Jesus? Are you seeking out that person in your life who could use someone to minister to them? Are you witnessing with scripture and the love of Christ?

Parents: Are you setting this type of example for your children? When you live intentionally like this, are you sharing that experience with your child? Have you challenged your child to minister in this way with their life?

Keep Pursuing Jesus,

Cody

Don't hate on them, help them!

Fri, 20 May 2011 09:35:41 -0400

     This Sunday we’re diving into chapter 3 of Jonah. This is the chapter of Jonah where he has already disobeyed, repented, recommitted his life, and is now ready to fulfill his mission from God. At this point, Jonah is no longer fleeing to Tarshish but jumping head first into God’s will in Nineveh!

     Up until this point, Jonah had concluded that Nineveh was full of people who didn’t deserve God’s grace. It was out of that mindset that he didn’t want to get his “hands dirty”, so to speak. WOW, that part of Jonah’s personality is so convicting to me because I’ve felt the same way towards people before.

     Let’s be honest. Haven’t you felt that way towards somebody? Haven’t you ever put a label on somebody because of their actions or circumstances? It seems as though once we’ve labeled someone “unworthy”, we’re through with them. Man… THAT’S TRAGIC!

     Unfortunately, I see this all the time in church. I’ll admit that I’ve even participated. Why? The answer is simple. It’s just feels so natural to write someone off (sail to Tarshish) rather than get our hands dirty and invest in their life.

     I’ve seen this mindset tragically unfold right before my eyes on many occasions in 10 years of student ministry.

For example:

    Most teenagers are messy, right? We know this. The world is their wastebasket. Therefore serving in youth ministry demands that you continually ask students to clean up their trash OR you get to clean it up. This situation just comes with the territory, no surprises here. Yet, I once had a church member inform me face-to-face that if I didn’t keep the church clean, one of two things would happen. They told me either the kids wouldn’t be welcome anymore or their family would no longer attend the church. My response wasn’t what they wanted to hear, I’ll leave it at that. The church should be respected, but not idolized.

    All teenagers are sinful and are often times disrespectful, right? We know this. If there is ever a time in your life in which sinning comes incredibly easy and perhaps even guilt free, it’s when you’re a teen. This is a time in your life when your world is pretty small and can be very self-centered. Teenagers need a lot of love, grace, and direction. Yet, I’ve seen so many take a boat to Tarshish in these situations rather than offer help. I once had a church member leave the church because I was ministering to a particular student that they had deemed “unworthy”. They made it clear that if they were allowed to participate in youth activities, then our ministries were unholy. Again, you can imagine how I responded to that ultimatum.

     I feel like I could give way too many examples of this, but I don’t want to bog down my blog with negativity.

     I just get really frustrated when I catch myself and others falling into this sinful and judgmental mindset. We should refrain from complaining and instead get our hands a little dirty. After all, fixing anything often requires getting a little filthy. You can’t fix your car without getting greasy. You can’t maintain your house without getting some dirt on you.

     Helping people deal with sin or calling someone out in sin often means we need to dive headfirst into difficult situations, messed up lives, and even turmoil. Dealing with these situations isn’t exactly fun. Yet, in our obedience I believe we will experience an intense joy.

     At the end of the day, Jonah wasn’t that thrilled about being obedient. But, “behold, someone greater than Jonah is here…”, the bar is raised yet again with Jesus.

“…whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28).

Keep pursuing Jesus,

Cody

Testimony from Vine Small Group Leader Jen Ireland

Tue, 03 May 2011 22:42:40 -0400

From time to time I want to make it a point to share testimonies on this blog. The reason I think it’s so important to share these stories is because we can debate all day regarding various topics and potentially get nowhere. On the other hand, hearing someone’s story about the life changing impact that Jesus has had in their life is beautiful, inspiring, and untouchable.

Jen is an 8th & 9th grade girls small group leader, a mother of 2 beautiful girls, and a wife to a soldier serving our country in Kosovo. She is a wonderful lady and a tremendous asset to our Vine Student Ministry at First Baptist Church Williamstown.

Here is how she met Jesus.

Is dressing up for church sinful?

Tue, 26 Apr 2011 16:43:21 -0400

     Is it a sin to show up to church in anything other than your best clothes? OR, is it a sin to THINK you should show up in your best clothes?



     I have found that this issue has been a HUGE distraction for most people in church, with people falling on both sides of this fashion spectrum.

     Pastel button up shirts, flowered hats, carefully tied ties, cute spring Easter dresses, and pressed suits were paraded into church all over the place last weekend. Traditionally, this is a Sunday were everybody who goes to church (or claims a relative who goes to church), makes it a point to show up and especially look their best!

     And, for some people, “looking your best in church” is mandatory! I’ve seen multiple situations in which church members demand this unwritten fashion rule from anyone who steps foot on their turf… Excuse me, I meant their church… Oh sorry again, I mean God’s church…

     Is this mentality rooted in scripture or has American culture once again blurred biblical teaching? Let’s take a look at what the Bible says we should wear in church.

     Oh man, that’s tricky, where do we start? (Read the next few lines with a very subtle sarcastic tone to get the full affect) Oh, I know! Let’s take a look at what they wore to church in Acts! We want to play this by the book right?!? The clothing worn in Biblical times was very different from what we wear today. Both men and women wore a loose, woolen, robe-like cloak or mantle as an outer garment. It was fastened at the waist with a belt or sash. A tunic or coat, a long piece of cloth, leather or haircloth with holes for arms and head, was worn under the cloak. Sandals were worn on the feet. The difference between men’s and women’s clothing was small but distinctive. In addition, men often wore a turban to confine their hair, and women of some cultures wore a veil.

     (Keep the sarcastic tone rolling) Hey! Wait a second! They didn’t wear suits and ties! There weren’t even any PANTS AT ALL! And SANDALS!?!?! Don’t even get the stereotypical church member started on SANDALS!!!

     (Ok enough with the sarcasm) The real issue that we’re dealing with here is very simply, a fashion statement. Your grandma & grandpa would never show up to church in a robe with no pants and sandals. That would NEVER happen because it’s not their style. In fact, it would be incredibly distracting to them to be dressed that way! It would be so distracting that I bet someone would say something to them about it, possibly even in a negative way. But to them, they’re coming to church in what’s comfortable & acceptable in their opinion.

     Here’s comes the problem. Some “suit & tie” type people think they have the right to push NOT their biblical views BUT their fashion views upon other people in church.

     This is incredibly puzzling to me. It’s especially puzzling considering that they aren’t wearing what the generations behind them are wearing. They too are guilty of altering the fashion sense of churches in their time. You don’t see any plaid suits anymore! There aren’t any “little house on the prairie” dresses being rocked out! Where did the 18th century male wigs run off to?!? And why aren’t we in ROBES!?!

One answer… fashion changes… If you attended church in a cloak, tunic, sandals and a turban or veil it would cause quite a disruption.

     You see, a 20-something wouldn’t argue too much about having to wear their best to church. However, they would argue what “their best” looks like. Come on, we know this to be true! Look at how far jeans have come in the past 100 years. First, jeans are just for men to work in. Fashion changed and then even women were socially allowed to wear jeans to work in. Fashion changed again and we started seeing jeans in more formal working environments. And now, jeans are considered a really nice piece of clothing to wear. That’s kind of why jeans used to cost $1.50 back in the day, and now they can go for $150.

     It’s not fair or even relevant to push your fashion sense on someone in church. You shouldn’t expect your grandparents to show up in designer jeans from the mall and they shouldn’t expect you to show up in an expensive suit and tie. It’s just a silly, shallow, and judgmental way to think. Call me crazy, but I’m just having a hard time allowing Calvin Klein, Armani, or Old Navy having such a huge impact on how I worship.

     However, there are certainly some biblical thinking that does need discussed while getting dressed for church, or any occasion for that matter.

Go read 1 Timothy 2:9-10. We could easily use this verse to say the Bible is against our desires to look the best we can according to American culture (suits, ties, dresses, jewelry, etc…).

How about 1 Peter 3:2-5?

     Perhaps we should consider 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. Here we are reminded that WE are the temple. With that in mind, I think we should primarily be focused on not distracting others from God in ANY venue or situation with the way we dress.

     The Bible’s Old Testament rules about dress just can’t be directly applied to today’s situation. On the other hand, I think thoughts on modesty CAN be applied. Standards of dress change over time and are different from church to church, yet we should avoid any style of dress that is offensive. For example, when we go to church on our mission trips to Honduras, all of the women wear dresses because their culture is so different. We wouldn’t want to offend them.

     The point is, we want people’s experience at church to be nothing but about Jesus.

In conclusion,

Students: Does your style honor Jesus? Do you dress in a way that distracts people from Jesus? Oh, and if it’s a really big deal to your parents to dress up for church, then be obedient. Dressing up probably isn’t as big of a deal as what some make of it.

Parents: Does your style honor the message of Jesus Christ? When your child dresses for church are they more concerned about how they look or about preparing their hearts to learn about Jesus?

Keep pursuing Jesus,

Cody

Is Harry Potter the Devil?

Sat, 09 Apr 2011 09:11:32 -0400

To help us first judge Harry Potter fairly, let’s examine what I’ll call the “Star Wars” defense…

Harry Potter VS Star Wars

Magic = Force
Witches, Warlocks, and Wizards = Jedi, Sith, and Sith apprentice.
Ghosts, Goblins, Trolls, Various Mythical Beasts = Ghosts, Ewoks, Wookies, and an endless list of make-believe beasts.

     Both use telekinesis, both speak to the dead, both kill others, and both use mental telepathy. And, while Harry can shoot stuff out of his wand, the emperor can shoot lighting bolts out of his hands. The similarities are endless, leaving you with the realization that J.K. Rowling (author of Harry Potter) may not have been as creative as previously thought.

     The similarities go on and on… Go ahead and compare the story line. All hope is lost until one day a boy finds out he is the key to bringing down the greatest evil that has ever existed? Hmmmm… I’m starting to think Harry plagiarized Luke…

     Though these are essentially the same exact movie with different characters and titles, Harry Potter seems to stir fear in the hearts of some believers while Star Wars remains totally acceptable. For example, if a child was pretending to waive a light saber while talking to Yoda, you may not think anything of it. But if they waive a wand around pretending to speak to a goblin, a red flag shoots up.

     Is Harry just a victim of another Salem witch-hunt? Or is there something deeper here that goes beyond the fear of make-believe spells, fire breathing dragons, and pixie dust (sorry didn’t mean to involve Peter Pan)?

     Let’s go ahead and ask the real question that nobody would admit is in the back of our brains. Could my child watching Harry Potter result in an unquenchable thirst to study the black arts of witchcraft? Ah man, that question sounds kind of silly when I type it out. But let’s think about it for real. BUT, let’s ask some similar questions so that we can stay focused on the real issue here.

     If my child watches 7 years in Tibet, will they be curious about Buddhism?
     If my child watches Rocky III, will they be curious about boxing?
     If my child watches Jurassic Park, will they be curious about dinosaurs?
     If my child watches Back to the Future, will they be curious about time travel?
     If my child watches Superman, will they be curious about super-natural powers?

     The truth of the matter is that watching anything on cable or at the movies could result in innumerous questions about various life topics. With that said, parents have to be ready to have the answers to these questions. Explaining away superhuman powers, dinosaurs, or time travel poses no threat us. But some subjects, such as witchcraft or Buddhism, can’t be as easily discarded. Unfortunately, rather than tackling these subjects, parents discard them with no explanation. This tactic only adds fuel to the fire of curiosity in the hearts of youth. It’s as bad as saying “don’t have sex before marriage”, but then not explaining what sex is or what God’s plans are for it (we know how well that pans out right?).

     If you have a genuine fear of your child dabbling in witchcraft, don’t take it out on Harry Potter. Harry Potter, like Star Wars, is just another sci-fi movie about good versus evil. Movies aren’t nearly as influential as a conversation with a parent. The trick is having more conversation time than movie time I would say. So rather, do some research and have a serious conversation about witchcraft since that is the real issue. Scripture has lots of information regarding witchcraft, and Harry Potter might be a good excuse to study it. Doing so will help students decipher reality from Hollywood.

Scripture: (Remember to read these verses in context, not just the verse alone. These are just some examples of witchcraft mentioned in the bible.)
Deuteronomy 18:9-14
Galatians 5:19-20
Revelation 21:8
Daniel 2:2
Exodus 7:11
Acts 13:4-12
Acts 19:19-20

     Oh, and before you parents go with the age-old “Excellent or Praiseworthy” (Philippians 4:8) defense, you had better reevaluate what you are watching on basic cable first, right? If the parent is logging time with “Sex in the City”, “The Bachelor”, “2 and a half men”, or even “Law and Order” for that matter, then your “Excellent or Praiseworthy” tactic will be quickly dismantled.

     Please remember, this blog is NOT the definitive Yes or No for your family. I simply just want to encourage families to have REAL conversations about life rather than allow Hollywood to be the educator on these issues. I believe in doing so, we don’t have to be as intimidated when movies like these grab the attention of our youth.

In conclusion, I’ll leave you with a couple thoughts.

Students: If your parents don’t want you to watch a certain movie, then don’t watch it. Even if you don’t understand why, you should give your parents the benefit of the doubt and that they have your best interest in mind. Show them respect and be obedient because they undoubtedly love you like crazy and want what’s best for you.

Parents: If your child is curious about something, educate them. You have to educate them about the good stuff AND the bad stuff.   In addition to lifelong conversations about my savior Jesus Christ, I plan on having conversations about witchcraft, the Dahli Lama, Pornography, sex trafficking, abuse, rape, and various other uncomfortable issues about this world with my kids. I hope my boys know what I believe about these issues WAY before they encounter them themselves.

Keep pursuing Jesus,

Cody

It's Always The Teachers Fault...

Thu, 24 Mar 2011 21:15:21 -0400

    Have you ever had that teacher who seemingly could care less about you or your grade in class? How about the incredibly rude teacher who just seems like they hate the world and all who inhabit it? Or, what about the teacher who has simply lost their passion for students and is obviously there just to pick up a paycheck?

    The truth is, these types of teachers typically exist in almost any school. And if you haven’t had one yet, you will sooner or later. They will leave you frustrated, angry, and in some cases with a bad grade. But if I had to guess, I’d bet fewer of these teachers exist than what you teenagers would like to admit. Let me explain…

This is what I hear from students around report card time:

“My teacher’s an idiot, they messed up my homework grade!”

“My teacher didn’t grade my paper right!”

“You don’t understand, my teacher didn’t tell us when the assignment was due!”

“The teacher only gives you a good grade if you play football!”

“My teacher hates me!”

     Isn’t it easier to blame the teacher? YES! It’s easier because fellow classmates will eagerly jump on that bandwagon and support your cause with no questions asked! Even the academically smart ones will encourage you to put it to the teacher. Not only is it easier, but it’s FUN! It’s fun because it quickly turns into a bashing session about that teacher, which is exactly what you want to hear after looking at a D- on your essay. And I use the term ‘fun’ in the sense that it appeals to our sinful nature of course.

     However, I would caution you in trusting yourself when thinking in this ‘blameful’ frame of mind. I really have to watch myself regarding this too. The reason is because it’s just so tempting to find fault in others during these situations because that leaves you blameless, which is really what we all want. If something goes wrong, nobody wants to be held responsible.

Did you know Jesus warns us about this type of behavior?

     “3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”
(Matthew 7:3-5 ESV)

    Notice that it doesn’t say you can never evaluate your brother. It just says that before you do, you’d better carefully examine yourself. Doing so will put you in such a better frame of mind too, because in honestly doing so you’ll quickly remember you’re not perfect either. And, that new frame of mind will allow you to respond rationally and productively. Not to mention, when you own up to something when you’re wrong, your stock goes WAY UP in the eyes of your parents.

    I’m not ruling out that many of these complaints regarding your teacher may be valid. However, do you want to know what I’ve found to be true in like 90% of the cases that I pry into? I find that a lot of the time the student wasn’t paying attention when instructions about the assignment were given, the student has an uncanny ability to tune out anything that particular teachers say, and the student could care less about school until low grades mess up their weekend plans. I’m not saying that’s your case, but just what I’ve found in the majority of them I’ve looked at.

    But you know what’s worse than a student who always blames everybody else? And I know I’m about to really make some parents angry and some teachers happy. It would have to be the parent that encourages this behavior by always taking their child’s side. Some parents buy the fish stories hook-line-and-sinker. These are the parents who believe that their child is incapable of doing any wrong. The thought that little Timmy didn’t understand the due date didn’t even cross their mind. The teacher is always to blame. This parent never wants to give the teacher the benefit of the doubt because that would mean sacrificing their child’s ‘perfect image’. Sacrificing that image would be admitting defeat, labeling their household as something less than perfection.

    I just think that this type of parenting potentially sends the wrong message to your child. Are there moments when you need to look out for your kid? Sure. But sometimes they probably need to fight their own battles and deal with the consequences that go with them, right? Personally, I’d rather them lose a few battles under my watch so that I can be there to help them put the pieces back together. Plus, I don’t want them to think if they whine and cry enough that I’ll always bail them out of what situation they’re in. By the way, that’s a battle I’m currently losing with my 2yr old.

    We parents need to teach our kids to overcome those situations in life. And, that playing the ‘blame game’ and making excuses isn’t going to benefit you in the way that you really want it to.   We all know that your child should admit when they’re wrong. But it’s also important for the parent to be able to admit when their child is wrong. That notion isn’t admitting defeat. It’s solid parenting and a sign that the parent knows what’s best for the child. You know what’s best for your child in a way that they may not understand just like God knows what’s best for you in a way that you may not understand.

        “11 What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; 12 or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
Luke 11:11-13 ESV

In Conclusion I’ll leave you with a couple challenges:

    Students, don’t waste time with the blame game. Sometimes you just have to give the teacher what they want, and sometimes you simply need to PAY ATTENTION;) But ultimately, complaining and slamming just bring you more frustration on the top of that bad grade. Instead of focusing on blaming the teacher, use that effort to do your homework. And if you messed up and it is your fault, make a wise decision and own up to it rather than sending your parent after the wrong culprit. Remember to stop and evaluate the situation because you may find out that you missed something. If your teacher really is just mean, pray for them and show them respect and love. Think about how and why that teacher upsets you, read Philippians 4:6-7, and then pray about it.

    Parents, we have to walk the fine line between babying/enabling our children and being too hard on them. They’re going to have bigger problems in their life to deal with, now is the time to teach them how to buckle down and solve them. But if they choose to play the blame game and you find out that they didn’t follow instructions and it’s really on them, make them pay the price.

Keep pursuing Jesus,

Cody

How do you get a teen who professes Christianity, but doesn't live much of his life as a Christian, to understand that they must walk the walk? I am very worried about whether my son is truly a follower of Jesus, or just saying what he needs to say to make my mouth stop talking.

Thu, 17 Mar 2011 19:57:41 -0400

Hmmm… This is a tough question to answer because I think there could be a lot of other variables with your teen or family that would influence my approach here. Nevertheless, I think there are some things for every parent and student to think about regarding this situation.

     There is no doubt that actions follow genuine faith (James 1:19-27; 2:14-26). When someone has a genuine relationship with Jesus, there should be a pursuit to serve God and to serve others. Over and over throughout the entire Bible, people take action as a result of being in a relationship with God. But it sounds like you understand this biblical truth. And, this understanding is what’s raising concern.

[18] But someone will say, “You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.
(James 2:18 ESV)

     When I think about the verse above, I’m convicted about how much serving and giving are essential to growing our relationship with Jesus. Reading, studying, and praying are undoubtedly crucial to our walk with God. But I wonder how much we underestimate the worth of our works like serving, giving, or just putting others before ourselves in general.

Consider the following verses about serving others:
Philippians 2:1-11
Romans 13:8-10
Galatians 5:13
1 Peter 4:8-11
Mark 10:45

     Verses like these really convict me about the impact that serving must have on our faith. I believe God uses this concept to mold us, teach us, humble us, and simultaneously share & spread His love.

     I’m bringing this “service” approach for a reason. What I’m about to say will offend any teenager who reads this, so if you’re a teen just hang with me for a second. When you’re a teenager your world is so small… Stereotypically, teenagers are solely wrapped up in a world where facebook posts can alter their existence, an episode of Glee determines their outlook on life, and the game of popularity rules on high. It’s just human to get caught up in that world during that age.

     Everybody goes through that phase of life at some point or another. Shoot, for some people it’s not a phase, it’s a way of life indefinitely. But, for believers, it’s not an acceptable way to live. We fight to choose serving God and others over a life that’s all about us.

     When a believer stands idly by, I too question how genuine their pursuit of Jesus is. It’s certainly not our place to judge. But in the case of your son, you can set the example and provide opportunities for him to understand and tap into a passion for Jesus.

     I can think of 2 examples in which my parents displayed this concept to me. And, without words, inspired me to try to put others first and my faith into action.

Example #1

     When I was in my teenage years my Dad had a buddy named Doug with a severe case of Muscular Dystrophy. Doug was bound to an electric wheel chair for the entire time I knew him. For Doug to take a sip from his Coffee cup, he had to maneuver strength from both arms and hands. My Dad faithfully walked Doug to church every Sunday (getting me up in time to go with him), took him to major league baseball games (with me along for the ride), helped him in and out of bed when the nurse was off duty at his house (asking me to help him help Doug), and even helped Doug go the bathroom. I really didn’t enjoy helping with that last one. To be honest, I avoided lifting a limp-half-naked-fully -grown man onto a toilet seat. Those situations kind of freaked me out. But it didn’t stop my Dad.
     Looking back, sometimes I grumbled when it was early and time to walk to church with Doug, sometimes I grumbled when we had to stop what we were doing to go help Doug get out of bed, and I really didn’t like helping Doug use the bathroom. But now that I’m older, I realize that those moments taught me valuable lessons about life and Jesus that my Dad couldn’t formulate into words if he had too. Life isn’t about me. In those moments of service, it didn’t always make sense. Yet, it still formed in me a different way of thinking over time.

Example #2

     My Mom sold most of her possessions and moved to Honduras to take care of parent-less children for 3 years of her life…

     My parents are far from perfect, but I wanted to use them specifically as an example to remind us parents of the immense impact our actions have on our kids. And, to remind us of the obligations we have in leading our children into a life of service. If we don’t show them, who will? Sesame Street? MTV? BET? A couple of hours a week at church? I see the vast majority of this responsibility resting on the shoulders of the parents.

     I get the sense that you are pretty frustrated and concerned for your son. I hope and pray that this post blesses, encourages, and gives you some ideas to nudge him in the right direction. Thanks for using the blog, you can’t be the only parent thinking about this.

Keep pursuing Jesus,
Cody

Hey, recently I've been wondering whether or not and why it is
considered "bad" to say hell when not talking about it biblically. I
googled it and this
http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081113091105AAjSuqK
came up, but it seemed like most of the answers were full of balogna.
The ones that said, "It's in the ten commandments" were saying it was
with "don't take the Lord's name in vein" and if we are putting hell's
name on the same level of sacredness as God's, isn't that kind of
awful? Also the fact that most christains consider it less serious to
say God's name in vein than to say another cuss word.

Thu, 17 Mar 2011 13:35:00 -0400

When to say Hell…

     Well, first of all, I love the point that you make in your question. Christians do stereotypically think of taking the Lord’s name in vain as something LESS serious than traditional curse words. Is that hypocritical? YES!

      Jews in Old Testament times could be executed simply by misusing Yahweh. It is tragic that some believers today toss around the name of Jesus or ask God to damn something in the heat of frustration. It is most certainly a gross expression of disrespect towards God that, I would argue, is spoken out of an ignorance of scripture in most cases.

     But what are the rules surrounding the word hell? I think to better answer this question, we need to shift gears a bit. I just can’t think of a situation in which “hell” could be used in a positive way. As for believers, the words that come out of our mouth should glorify God. The key word in that last sentence is should. I don’t know about you, but I struggle to glorify God with my words all of the time. And, casually tossing around the word hell couldn’t help this pursuit either.

     James 3 deals with the importance of understanding how influential our words can be. James makes it clear that we will always struggle with controlling our words. James causes us to think a little deeper into evaluating our words and actions. Do our words and actions consciously and unconsciously proclaim the gospel?

     With that said, I don’t think hell is a word that we should use in this way. Does it show a direct disrespect and ignorance of the realities of hell? I would have to lean towards yes. But I think it should also be avoided just like putting someone down should be avoided or anything else that verbally sows something other than love and truth. Even though I’m 100% confident I will fall short of this concept, I believe this to be where the bar is set according to God’s word.

     Consider Paul’s challenge in Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

Keep pursuing Jesus,

Cody

How do I get myself on track.. I believe in God it's just I do not act like it, the only emotional serious time I have is at church.. any advise?

Sat, 12 Mar 2011 11:31:22 -0500

     Hey, this is a really great question. And, one that pops up regularly with those pursuing Jesus. So, thank you for asking this on the blog!

     One word comes to my mind every time a version of this question is asked…Discipline. You may not want to hear it, but there is simply no way around this concept.

     But, when you think about it, we accept and understand this notion in almost every other realm of life. If you want good grades, you have to be disciplined enough to study and do your homework. If you want a good relationship with your parents, you have to be disciplined enough to practice showing respect and obedience. If you want to be a good musician, you have to be disciplined enough to practice your instrument when nobody’s around. If you want to lose weight, you have to be disciplined enough to watch what you eat and exercise.

     If you want to be a good athlete, then you have to be disciplined enough to practice. I mean, you students really understand this, especially this time of year. With track, baseball, tennis, and even spring soccer seasons around the corner, you guys are practicing like crazy right now.
     But why? Because you want to succeed of course! You want to know how to hit a curveball, jump a hurdle, return a serve, or make a headshot when the moment presents itself.
     To put it simply, you practice because you want to succeed when it counts. But being disciplined enough to practice isn’t easy. You have to MAKE time to practice. Practice takes a lot of effort and it’s hard work.

“Practice… You wanna talk about practice?… Not the game…Practice…” Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.

     Remember Paul, author of 14 books of the New Testament? He liked to use athletic metaphors like this as well. He used them to describe the effort and determination involved in a pursuit of Jesus. If you get a moment, read 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, Philippians 3:12-14, or 2 Timothy 4:7-8.

     So, what’s it going to take to get YOU in the groove?
     The answer to that question is different for everybody. But, the bottom line is that you have to spend time with God on your own with prayer and scripture. If the only time God gets your attention is at church, a weekend retreat, or a week long camp, then it would make sense to feel distant from him when you’re not at those events. And, I bet the primary reason you feel close to God at those events is simply because you are studying scripture (learning who God is) and praying (communicating with God). So, the NEW question to ask yourself is:
     How do I create those elements on my own? And, the answer is discipline. You MAKE time for it. Make time for those Godly elements in the same way you make time for Facebook, texting, studying, phone conversations, homework, eating, bathing, practice, sleeping, etc… My point is, everyone has time, you just have to make good choices about how to spend it.

If you spend a lot of time on the computer, you’ll become really good at operating computers.

If you spend a lot of time texting/talking/writing/posting/messaging that boy or girl, then you’ll probably become pretty tight with them.

If you spend a lot of time lifting weights, then you’ll get really strong.

If you spend a lot of time running, then you’ll be able to run really far.
If you spend a lot of time studying scripture and in prayer, then you’ll become really close to God.

Sound simple? If it does, I didn’t mean for it to.

I would say that if you’re looking for that “trick”, stop looking because it doesn’t exist. But rather, spend the time that you have wisely. Think about where your time is invested. After honestly evaluating where your time is spent, be realistic about how close you could possibly expect to feel with Jesus.

Pursuing any kind of discipline requires some level of struggle. The same is true with Christian disciplines, it can be a struggle. So, my encouragement to you is to keep struggling. Haha, that sounds weird. But seriously, be determined in your pursuit of Jesus.

Keep pursuing Jesus,

Cody

Giving Isn’t Necessarily Sacrificial Giving

Mon, 07 Mar 2011 16:05:07 -0500

Is there a difference between giving and sacrificial giving? Not only do I think the answer is YES, but I believe practicing this concept is crucial to understanding who Jesus wants us to be.

Since the beginning of 2011, our church has been involved in what we’re calling the “Honduras Container Project”. This project was designed to meet several needs that we felt needed addressed at our church. Our prayer is that this project would put our church in a position to serve others, raise awareness of missions, unite the people and ministries of the church, put families in a position to serve together within the home, and practice good stewardship of the abundance of resources that we have at FBCW. And, so far, this project has been a tremendous blessing to our church!

For the first 8 weeks of the project we collected clothing. Wow, we’ve had an awesome response too! In just 8 weeks we’ve filled half of our 40ft container with clothing alone. People have cleaned out their closets in a big way! While this clothing will help a lot of people in need and is a wonderful form of giving, let’s ask the tough question….

Is cleaning out your closet and giving away stuff you don’t really need or even want a form of sacrificial giving?

Hmmm… I would lean towards no. Again, I don’t want to down play this type of giving. It’s wonderful! The clothing drive cleans your room and meets a need at the same time! Two birds with one stone! But, it’s simply not that sacrificial.

Phase 2 & 3 of our project has been collecting medical, school, and toiletry supplies. These items aren’t freely lying around you closet taking up space. These are items that you have to spend your time physically traveling to the store to obtain & spend your own money to purchase. And while we’ve still received a lot of items to this point in the 2^nd & 3^rd collecting phase, giving has slowed down. Why? Because it’s harder to give sacrificially than to just give. That money could put fuel in your gas tank, buy popcorn at the movies, buy those new shorts for this amazing spring weather, etc…

Consider the sacrificial heart of Zacchaeus, in Luke 19:1-10, after his encounter with Jesus. Has your encounter with Jesus moved you to give in this way?

Are you willing to give something up to meet someone else’s need? I know a couple people who are…

2 QUICK EXAMPLES of people at FBCW who understand sacrificial giving: I’ll keep their names anonymous in all humble fairness.

16yr old sophomore at the Vine: One Sunday morning shortly after Christmas I challenged students to prayerfully consider spending one or more of their Christmas gift cards on the need in Honduras. This particular student took the challenge to heart. She took her gift cards and bought an entire tub full of new socks and underwear for Faith Home. WOW! That’s sacrificial giving!

Parent at FBCW: Amanda and I had a member of our church approach us with a form of sacrificial giving that I’ve never heard of in my entire life. She said, after prayerfully discussing it with her husband, she wanted to sell her engagement ring and give the proceeds to the Honduras Container Project (yes, you just read that correctly). She felt as though the need in Honduras was greater than her need to have a ring on her finger. The money will either go towards food distribution during our mission trip or possibly towards another container. Oh, and two side notes, she has a great marriage and the ring appraised for over $7000. That, my friends, is sacrificial giving.

Conviction really sat in as a parent while contemplating this post. I really want my 2 ½ beautiful Parman boys to grasp this concept in their lives. Thursday night, instead of watching a movie, Nolan and I emptied his piggy bank and began wrapping his change in rolls (a challenging feat with a 4yr old). I’m guessing he probably had about $20 in all. We managed to get one roll of nickels and one of dimes for a grand total of $7 in wrapped coins.

As we looked at the rolls, we started talking about all of the things we could buy with that money. His eyes lit up as we went through all kinds of ideas like a trip to Party Hoppers in the mall, pizza, toys from Toys-R-Us, skee-ball at the arcade, or a new Scooby Doo DVD. Then came the moment of truth. I mustered up all of my fatherly wisdom that had built towards this moment in time and said, “Or, instead of spending money on those things, how about you spend your money helping out a little boy or girl in Honduras by buying them a toothbrush and toothpaste?”

(… awkward pause…)

Then Nolan said, “NO! That’s my money Dad. I want to spend on toys for myself.”

While it wasn’t the response I was looking for, it led to a really neat conversation with Nolan. We talked about how much we had and how little others had. We talked about how much love we have in our home and how little love others have in their home. We talked about how sometimes we need to put others needs before our own and that’s how Jesus wants us to live our lives. Then I let him sleep on that thought Thursday night.

Nolan’s heart changed. The next morning he very eagerly hopped in the van as we drove to Dollar General to spend his $7 (accompanied by a little more from dad) to purchase toothbrushes, toothpaste, deodorant, cough medicine, and (as Nolan insisted) toys for the children at Faith Home. We didn’t spend one dollar on Nolan. He couldn’t wait to show mom and even deposited the goods in the foyer at church himself.

In conclusion, I ask a couple simple questions:

Have you sacrificially given in your life?

Has your encounter with Jesus inspired you to give so drastically counter culturally as it did Zacchaeus in Luke 19?

And Mom & Dad, have you modeled this type of giving to your children to lead them into giving in this type of way? Oh man, that question makes me shiver a little.

Keep pursuing Jesus,

Cody

Student Testimony, Becca Waters

Fri, 04 Mar 2011 16:05:07 -0500

In addition to the many topics to come, I also want to use the Just Outsmart Them blog as a place to share testimonies from parents and students at the vine. I believe it’s so important to share about your personal pursuit of Jesus. A personal testimony is a wonderful thing, and the Bible is full of examples of this concept.

Pictured between fellow friends Matt Zlatkind and Caleb Thomas is Vine Freshman Becca Waters from Marietta Highschool. Here is her story…

Testimony by Becca Waters, Freshman
   Starting about 5th grade I started to change, I started out as making wrong decisions in school, mouthing my parents, being rude to friends and people that weren’t my friends. And by the time 7th grade rolled around I was sneaking around and doing things I shouldn’t, I would go to my friends almost every weekend where they would have parties and drink. And these were the kinds of parties that were very dangerous for a preteen to be attending. One night my friend and I tried alcohol and also tried a cigarette. After that every weekend we would have a little bit of alcohol, and then we made it a habit and got drunk a lot. As time went on bigger problems were starting to occur. I was getting way too physical with boys and it happened more than once. It seemed as these mistakes were what my life was all about. My attitude got way out of control not only towards my parents but friends. Everyone started to see the change in me and some parents even restrained their kids from hanging out with me. My closest friends started ignoring me and finally they spoke up and told me why it is they didn’t want to be around me no longer. I always went around acting like I was “top dawg” and that no one was better than me and could never be better than me! By the time 8th grade started nothing mattered to me, I didn’t take school seriously and boys always came before my friends. I felt like if there was a boy around then I needed nothing more. Although I acted happy and satisfied, inside there was something going on. I would sit in my room at night listen to music and just think. Sometimes I felt as if it no one would even notice if I would disappear. I wanted to just take myself out of this world. A few times I thought to myself I really need to quit this, but never had the strength to stop what I was doing. I always claimed and believed I was a Christian. I would go to church every Sunday and listen to the preacher teach Gods word. When Sundays did come around my mom always had to yell at me a few times to get up because I would repeat over and over “I am not going to church”; at one point I even said I hate church. After we got to church I would never listen, I would try to sleep, or text. Sometimes even the second I walked out the door I’d start saying curse words.
   One night when I was in my room listening to music and just thinking, I broke down. This was the start of something new I thought. I cried out to Jesus, and I asked him to help me with everything. That didn’t last long though, the next day I was back to the old me. It took about 5 months of break downs for God to really get a grasp on me. I wanted to start new and fresh, I challenged myself so much and I had many ups and downs but I finally made a commitment to the Lord. I started attending the Vine, apologized to all my friends, apologized to my family, I made myself a” to do list” and a “NOT to do list.” About two months after this happened I felt a real change in me. I started reading my bible every night and this helped me so much, and I also started reading chapter books on Christian teens and listening to Christian music. Some changes I saw in myself was that I finally was talking about God to my friends, helping my friends instead of bringing them down, helping out my family more, spending more time with God, and not living for myself but living for God. The biggest changes were that I no longer wanted to drink, carry on and party, nor be that kind of girl with boys. To this day I made a promise to never, EVER drink alcohol again, and to also save that special gift till marriage.
   God means so much to me now, more than I ever thought he could. I never knew how much I could understand Gods word. Before it was just a bunch of words. It always seemed as if I would never understand well because God is not visible, but all I did was pray and talk to God, read my bible, go into deeper detail after the lesson at church and now I can feel his presence almost all the time. Now that I have changed my biggest desire is to help people. I have new friends, and I have gained back many friends and people see a real change in me. I still have many things to work on. I am not perfect and never will be. Sometimes I catch myself getting off track but then I ask for God’s help. My attitude still is not the greatest; I still say things I don’t mean and things that I shouldn’t be speaking. Also, I catch myself judging sometimes. But these are just some things I know I will always need to work on. But in the end, I know my past can’t be erased and I just think of it as a tool to keep me on track. As I always say “Heal the Wound, but leave the scar.”

When is it ok for baptism?

Tue, 01 Mar 2011 16:24:59 -0500

When is my child old enough to get baptized? This is a loaded question. One that I’m afraid I won’t do justice in a singular blog post. However, it’s a question that resurfaces on a routine basis in ministry.

Let’s start with a little foundation on baptism.

Baptism doesn’t save you, faith in Jesus saves you – (Acts 16:31, John 3:16, Eph 2:8, Gal 3:26)

Baptism is a symbol of faith. It is an outward expression of your entire body of the heart’s acceptance of Jesus Christ as Lord.

The earliest church baptized by immersion and came to see this act as an acceptance of death with Christ and resurrection to new life. When the whole body goes under the water, the believer symbolizes a dying to one’s old self. When the whole body rises up out of the water, the believer symbolizes a new resurrected life committed to living for Jesus. Listen to Paul’s description in Romans 6:1-14

Baptism is something that should be revered as a mark in one’s Christian life. Baptism is such a serious, joyous, intense, and monumental moment of obedience in a believer’s life. Or, at least it should be…

So, when do you know if someone is ready? Maybe that’s not the right question to ask. Perhaps we should think about that question with a slightly different approach. When is a believer ready to display this moment with the kind of understanding that would allow this moment to be monumental for THEM?

     Something I’ve always stressed to students about baptism is that THEY should own that moment with God, not anyone else. I’ve seen several baptisms that have caused me to wonder, “Did little Johnny just get baptized because he was pressured into it by his parents?” As a parent, I LONG for the day that I get to watch my children follow Jesus into the waters of baptism. But it wouldn’t do Nolan, Emmett, and (baby boy #3) any good for me to pressure them into that moment. In fact, pressuring them into that moment would make me a THIEF! Why would I want to steal that moment away from my own children!?! They can’t inherit salvation from me. It was meant to be their moment with God, not mine.

     Nolan is my oldest son. We’ve read through his entire children’s bible, he tells me about his lessons every Sunday after church, he could tell you several names out of the Bible, and rarely ever misses out on an opportunity to go to church. In fact, he loves it. But, he’s not a Christian, he’s just a beautiful 4yr old boy. My job is to show and explain to him as many pieces to the puzzle as I can, but I can’t put it together for him. That process is between him and Jesus.

Last Sunday night I was given the privilege of baptizing Michael Shawver. Michael is a Junior at Williamstown, and I’ve had him in youth since he was in 6^th grade. He is about as good as they come! Michael’s family is a wonderful Jesus-loving family who did a wonderful job raising their son. Michael has logged about as many hours as a human being can log into church by the age of 17. There is a lot that I could say about Michael because he’s been around so long. He’s probably been on every winter retreat I’ve hosted. He has always been a regular attendee to The Vine Student Ministry. He’s attended state Baptist events, gone to camps, been a part of small groups, etc… He’s one of those kids that you know actually listens and absorbs at least some of what’s being taught (one of my favorite traits in a youth kid).

And, I bet you with all of his experience in church, he has witnessed countless baptisms. He’s even watched his own dad baptize several! Not only that, I bet you (between his dad, his family, his time in church, and me) he has heard the purpose of baptism explained innumerable times.

With that said, there are a couple things I really appreciate about this monumental moment with Michael. One is that his family respected Michael’s personal relationship with Jesus to the point in which they let him pursue Jesus in his own timing. And two, Michael owned his moment of baptism.

As a pastor, those two things are really big to me. He knew exactly what he was doing, I don’t doubt that one bit, and unfortunately I can’t say that about every baptism that I’ve been a part of.

In conclusion, I’ll leave you parents and teens with a couple thoughts:

Students, you should own that moment of baptism yourself. Don’t let anyone take that from you. Don’t get baptized because all of your friends are or because there is a scheduled baptism on the calendar. Don’t get baptized because your parents REALLY want you too. Get baptized because you desperately love Jesus. Own that moment between you and God. If you feel rushed in any way, then it’s because you probably aren’t ready. Don’t ever waste time feeling guilty about not being baptized. Just keep pursuing Jesus.

Parents, don’t steal that moment from your children. If you want your child’s commitment to Jesus to be genuine and real, then let it happen with God’s timing in their life. In some cases, you may have to even say, “No, not yet”. Spend your time preparing them for the moment of baptism, not planning it.

If you have any other questions on baptism or you would like to chat with me about baptism, please don’t hesitate to ask.

Keep pursuing Jesus,

Cody

Just Outsmart Them

Mon, 28 Feb 2011 16:00:09 -0500

A place for concerned parents and clever teens…

Ok guys, here’s the thought behind this blog. I wanted to create a blog that can be a resource to both the parent & the teen. Perhaps you can think of this place as a common resource to help both the parents and the teens get on the same page.

Over the years, I’ve seen a lot of great parent/teen relationships and unfortunately, some not so great. I’ve dealt with students who REFUSE to listen to their parents, some with good reason. I’ve talked with countless frustrated parents who can’t seem to “get through” to their teen. I think some parent/teen communication could be summed up with this pic below:

But, with all of the complicated/frustrating/emotional/complex situations that I’ve been witness to, you know what I’ve found? Almost every single scenario is fixable with the right approach…

That’s what this blog is about, ~~you outsmarting them~~ rethinking the approach.

My goal is to discuss those unique/debatable/rock-and-a-hard-space/divisive situations that parents and teens find themselves in. This blog should not be the definitive “Yes” or “No” for your family. However, I pray that it puts your family in a position where you can simply talk and be on the same page with each other.

As this blog kicks into gear, feel free to submit a question using the “ask me anything button”. Amanda & I will chip away at various topics and even share some student testimonies along the way.

I can’t wait to get started!

Cody Parman

The Vine Website

Sat, 26 Feb 2011 15:47:37 -0500

The Vine Website