(This article originally appeared in the May 2012 edition of Reflections for Leaders: A Leadership Resource from the Center for Pastoral Excellence of the Louisiana Conference, UMC)

In every area of life people are experincing the value of coaching to focus efforts and reach goals – from losing weight to reaching marketing objectives, from moving purposefully into retirement to growing exeuctive leaders. In the church we are only beginning to appreciate the power of coaching applie to ministry.
One of the most critical times when coaching can make ta difference is in those first tender months immediately following a season of congregational conflict.

After three months of moving through an intentionally design conflict resolution process the pastor called me to schedule a time of coaching to explore what he could have done differently, to deepen the learning about the part he played in the conflict, and to design the next steps of moving the congregation forward. The pastor intuitively knew that the coaching done in these critical months following conflict were dieal for affecting individual and congregational transformation. When the heat of conflic tis finally dialed down, it is time to ask, “What does God intend for me/us to learn?”, “What needs to be different?, “What is next?”

These are some of the principoles we hold to firmly in coaching leaders following conflict:

• The practice of reflecting on what led to the conflict, and learning from it, is “gut work.” Critical evaluation cannot come from the level of the head alone; it requires the soul, intuition and the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
• Church leaders need support as they do the courageous work of self-examination, but they also need accountability. The role of the coach is to provide both plentiful encouragement and rigorous accountability.
• The coach’e s role is to come along beside church leadership in a way that draws out their innate expertise, unearthing the truths already present within. The role of the coach then is a bit like leading an archeological dig of what is already present but not yet obvious. The way we do that in coaching is we ask powerful questions and keep expanding the range of what is possible.
• As a congregation moves successfully through a time of highly charged struggle there is a capricious opening for the possibility of individual and organizational transformation.
• Deep healing is possible even when members of a congregation have chosen sides and hurt one another because God is always restoring God’s creation. Al things are possible when we use our sacred imagination to forgive and learn from our experience. The work of coaching in the aftermath of conflict is restorative and hopeful work that knows no limits.

While most of the rest of society has found the art of coaching to be greatly helpful, we are now realizing this in the church. Coaching is an invaluable tool in moving all the way through congreational conflict; helping to move a congregation from where they are presently to where they need to be. And just as there is no substitute for engaging a skilled conflcit resolution consultant when the congregaion is in the throes of singificant conflict, there is no surrogate for engaging a trained coach during the recovery process.

Finally, the aim of all coaching is “to evoke transformation”. In the church we know this is nothing short of holy work borne of sacred imagination that can lead to God-sized outcomes.

About Chris Holmes: Leadership coach and Trainer

The International Coaching Federation (ICF) credentialed Chris Holmes as an Associate Coach in 2008, and the United Methodist Church endorsed Chris for the ministry of coaching in 2009. He is a pastor with 26 years of experience serving small to large churches and has seven years serving as a District Superintendent in the Baltimore-Washington Conference of the United Methodist Church.

Chris has played a pivotal role in developing the coaching ministry in the Baltimore-Washington Conference. “As a leadership coach, I come beside denominational leaders and pastors to help them get sharply focused and committed to what they need to do in ministry and then lead boldly with courage”

Here is the introduction to the issue:

“Conflict is an inevitable part of life. We won’t always agree with others. People (seemingly especially those with whom we must spend a lot of time) annoy us at times. We don’t want to suggest to children hat being in conflict is bad or that they should violate their own beliefs to avoid conflict. Instead, we want to help them learn to deal with conflict in ways that foster the kinds of relationships God want us to have with others. Respect, openness to other points of view, and learning to regard others as beloved children of God are key aspects of this theme.”

You can find information on how to order issues of Pockets on their website here: http://pockets.upperroom.org

2012 Speakers include:

• Leymah Gbowee, Liberian Peace Activist and Nobel Peace Prize Winner
• Rev. Dr. Bernard Lafayette, Jr., Distinguished Scholar-in-Residence, Candler School of Theology
• Michael Nagler, President of the Metta Center for Nonviolence
• Alan Storey, Central Methodist Mission in Cape Town, Africa
• More to be announced.

(Ben Gosden is an Associate Pastor at Mulberry Street United Methodist Church in Macon, GA and a prolific blogger on his blog, Covered in the Master’s Dust).

As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (Colossians 3:12-15, 17)

We live in a world that puts a high price on expressing one’s opinions. The evening news that used to report the facts of the day is now geared around a 24-hour machine churning our facts slanted by bias opinion. Hot button issues of our day—homosexuality, abortion, war, etc.—can’t seem to be discussed without some sense of emotional baggage being attached. It’s so easy to get caught in the echo chamber of our own opinions that we forget the fact that edifying dialogue is an art.

John Wesley believed holy conferencing—Christians conferring together for the sake of peace and truth seeking—was a “means of grace.” The question before us as the Church is this: What kind of world do we want to live in? Will we accept living in a world of Babel—where opinions are shouted so loudly no one can hear or understanding one another (Gen 11)? Or will we seek to live into the world of Pentecost—where the grace of God empowers us to celebrate diverse voices in the formation of the Kingdom of God (Acts 2)?