Me...Well... "I'm just a mom & wife" .....BUT to them........ I'm a super Hero

Yikes! It's been along time!

2013-07-27T09:57:00.001-05:00

come follow me @ https://www.facebook.com/corina.sisnerozguerrero

2012-05-09T09:25:00.000-05:00

On April 24th 2012, I lost my dad I had never meet Greg till I was 18yrs old but that didn't matter I always longed to meet him and I had so many questions for him. I went to Porterville, Ca. at 18 years old to get my questions answered, I lived there for the next year and a half I got to know this man and he was honest in telling me he was to blame for many many things, He was very sorry and wanted to do everything he could to make it up. I was the 2nd oldest of his 4 children I have an older brother in Florida by a different mother and I have 2 brothers younger then I, from the same mom.
After about a year and a half I moved back home to Nebraska, In the years to come I talked over the phone with my dad and went to see him many times I got close to him. I listened to many story's, many sorry's, many what ifs. My dad was a smoker all his young life, he had lung caner and eventually was down to one half working lung, though many many surgeries he kept fighting to stay alive, every time family would call, I went, I stay by his side and would not leave not even to eat, until he was up and was able to go home. We had alot of conversations in those hospital rooms, I knew the day would come when he would no longer be able to fight. His 100 pound little body could just not take anymore.
I was not there with him the day my dad left this earth but I know he heard my voice on the phone while his wife held it to his ear...."Dad I love You & Its OK to rest now dad, I'm coming" Now that I play those words back in my head I know I gave him permission to go.
My dad died the next early morning. Its almost like he was waiting for me. I always went always but I didn't know how critical my dad was until my brother told me the night before I had made that call to his room for the very last time.
My two brothers and our mom drove the 24 hour drive to California. We laughed, smiled, cried together. I was very bitter for many years with my mom for things that happened to me when I was little, So I thought "This is gonna be a VERY LONG trip" but on our drive all I kept hearing was my dad saying like he always did "Have you talked to your mom yet? CorinaMarie, I'm not gonna always be here for you to call" over and over I heard him so loud and clear. On one of our stops we climbed this huge to us from Nebraska, It was a mountain but this very huge rock and sitting up there I heard him again. "Corinamarie have you talked to your mom yet?" By the time we got there all the bitterness I felt just left I cant even explain it, Its like it was just gone! Every time I looked at my mom I just felt love for her. I was the last one standing at my dad casket and watching the man close it broke my heart in a million pieces, I heard my dad singing "you are my sunshine, My only sunshine you make me happy when sky's are grey ..........." He would always sing this in the hospital to let me know me he was OK, there were times when he couldn't speck so he had pencil and paper writing that song out. In the last 10years I got very close to my dad and felt like I knew him all my life. Like every grown women, I have that little girl inside who longs for her daddy. This trip, death, funeral, was more then losing my dad, It was eye opening. I wrote on a picture the other day that Ya know I did lose my dad BUT I gained an appreciation for my mom. I will treasure this trip, smiles, laughs & tears 4ever & never forget the very last time i got the privilege to stand in the presents of both my mom & dad. I miss you dad and I know that you made it, I know that you are no longer suffering. Rest now dad, I love you & Thank you for teaching me a life long lesson. See you when I get there dad.

Treasure

2012-04-06T06:15:00.000-05:00

As a child you think YOUR mom will always be here. That You have nothing to fear. "THAT DAY" is far from near.

Then God calls her name and you now know YOUR life will NEVER be the same, For she is now free from all the pain.

For you will always be my mom, my friend..... till the end.

In my heart the end does not end here. No, In my heart you will always be near.

Mom, Thank you for your unconditional love, support, & Lov'n me when I was so unlovable.

All your work will not be in vain. I promise to let you live though me, Watch you'll see ....even tho my heart is cry'n out "mom, please don't leave!"..... I don't wanna grieve! "Please don't leave"

...I know you have to go. I pray for that day to see you again and say "Hello"

Mom, I am happy for you, you get to see your creator & I know he is a GREAT one because I and Everyone that knew you...saw him.

Today, as the tears fall from my face, I know in my heart you are home safe in your resting place and with Gods grace.

You will never be forgotten mom, Not ever........ you now live among the angles forever.

And as for me ...I now know the meaning of TREASURE ...and you Mom, will always be my greatest treasure.
Inspired by the passing of a friends Great Mother Mary G. Strong Ramirez

~CMSG~ Please Note this Poem is Copyright Material

Photo taken from Flicker

A New Day

2012-02-22T06:30:00.001-06:00

I cant change my childhood nor do I want to It has made me who I am today. You may have thought that you hurt me so bad that I would never become anyone, THEN you were right that's exactly how I felt, but TODAY I am someone. You have no control of who I am! Everything you have done to me, I can never change., But today like everyday is a new day. I will never forget but I can and do forgive and for today I choose to LIVE!

It's been awhile

2012-02-20T16:38:00.001-06:00

So its been awhile, well i have been couponing and selling items online like no other! We got a new home last week and we are so excited to move =) I'm making a commitment to blog lots more =) I get away from writing I think because feelings are like in this brown box and I open it up just a lil and then I realize whats in there and I hurry and shut it and tape it back up throw it way in the back and leave it for a while again. I know I need to stop, because this is where my writings from from, .....My childhood.

THIS Weekend 1-15-2012 Smartsource coupon previews

2012-01-12T08:11:00.000-06:00

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2012

2012-01-04T09:51:00.002-06:00

Getting this new year off to a good start has not been easy. So we are starting over, today is the first day to our NewYear! For myself I want to do so many things that i dont know where to start, as a family we have alot going on this year. So with that said Im not sure how much I will be on here. I hope to all of you who read are off to a great start for this 2012 year and May God be with you always♥ God Bless

2011-11-13T09:09:00.001-06:00

Don't sit there and feel sorry for yourself, Get up, turn it into something good =)

Dear God

2011-11-04T11:23:00.000-05:00

Her prayers were not the usual prayers of a 5year old little girl, that God was use to.......

this lil girls tears ran like heavy rainfall as God recalled

Dear God, please I don’t want a new doll I don’t want nothing at all.......I just want to survive the next nightfall

He's coming! “Why is this happening” I begin wrestling, sweating …....I cant breathe ..Cant he see!!

He's gonna kill me, it hurts so bad!, “How can this man.... be a dad” How can people not see he is so bad!

“I just want my mom”..............“Wheres my mom?” …......GONE!! …............always GONE!!

Please help me!, …........are you there,God?, …..................are you even real at all?

Why me God? What did I do? All she ever prayed for.........was to be rescued

Dear God, Never-mind after this night, I've changed my mind. I don’t want to survive…...just let me die.......... just take me away….hiiigh to the sky

Please God, I want to just die! Please God JUST reply!! ...I promise to never again ask “Why”

Please God, one of us has to die, because I cannot survive another night

~God cried as he replied~”I am here my child, I have always been here my dear and this was my worst fear”

“Just hold tight lil girl” because He knew it was gonna happen again tonight

“Just hang in there” ….....He wished it was all just a nightmare because watching this, EVEN he could not bare

God? My grandma says that you care, So why is my young life so unfair?

Why cant anyone see him, God! Just kill him …...or me ….... because I feel so dirty

Please My child, with me don’t be angry, for you will see …....He will pay indeed

You could never see me and yet, you pray.....I will surely reward you someday........... but for now you must continue to pray

Because~ It's not your a freshmen that your beautiful life will begin and you will get the chance to make it right again

Dear God, Today is that day! Today is the day you promised me would come

But, Then then again........... YOU knew ….all along

He is Beautiful, when he cry’s ….........its like a beautiful song, 9months was too long....in my arms is where he belongs and I promise I will never do wrong

Now I know that all that hurt was making me into a beautiful mother …....all along

Dear God This gift and the gifts to come, Please help me to be head & heart-strong and give them unconditional love and show them that they belong

Dear God, Let me be the best Mom I can be, Show me their every need ….until the day they can speak

And God when that day comes I promise to teach them that you and your ways are so unique

For you know Lord that I am not weak & I know you DO listen every time I speak

Yes, Lord I can do this on my own, because I NOW know that I was NEVER alone

~CMSG~ Please Note this Poem is Copyright Material

2011-11-03T17:36:00.000-05:00

These five guy's are the reason I breath and the reason I strive'd for a better life

For them I live and I would die. Yes for these five.

For them I knew I had to survive and Today they are what keeps me alive

Today I am so Thankful for my beautiful life

Its all because of Gods grace that I thrive. ♥

~CMSG~ Please Note this Poem is Copyright Material

The mark of the beast

2011-11-03T17:15:00.001-05:00

You asked for the truth and I told you,

I saw the wheels in your head turning but I never dreamed of what you would do.

I know I hurt you, I hope you know I never meant to.

I live with the mark of the beast to this day because of what you made me say.

I will never forget that day, the beating, the smell of the carpet where I was left to lay, all the pain that I still live with to this day.

You wanted me lie to make myself look innocent, when I knew it was all for your benefit.

When that day came, I could not let him take the blame.

You said I was a disgrace and you wish Id disappear without a trace.

What you made me say I can never erase, all I can do is ask him for grace.

To this day I live with the mark of the beast, until the day I am deceased.

The “whys” I will never understand, who was I to argue with your command.

I can live with being the “black sheep”, just remember who really hurt who..... so deep.

~CMSG~ Please Note this Poem is Copyright Material
Copyright © 2011 COPYRIGHT Corina Marie Sisneroz-Guerrero. All rights reserved.

If you only knew.............

2011-11-03T10:21:00.001-05:00

I hear a cry, a little girls cry....why?

Someone help her, go to her......just hold her

Her pain is real and this cannot be Gods will

She was to be protcected by you, If you only knew what she was going through.

She crys for you and all you do is argue

she holds out her hands and all you do is make commands

with your anger you get louder and louder while her self estem get lower and lower and her love for you grows colder and colder

If you only knew all she wanted was to cry on your shoulder

If you only knew, If you only paid attention If you would only showed her a little affection you could have changed all this hurt and aggravation

All these years and .........

I still hear her cry in the night and all I can do is turn on the light, because now, now no one can make it right

Whats done is done and God will judge us one by one

for you it is done, for her when the night falls it has just begun..... alllllllll over again.

~CMSG~ Please Note this Poem is Copyright Material
Copyright © 2011 COPYRIGHT Corina Marie Sisneroz-Guerrero. All rights reserved.

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1

Hold On

2011-11-03T10:20:00.001-05:00

Hold on to your wishes, hopes & dreams for these things are all that you have, sometimes they are what keeps you alive

Hold on, for you will one day be someones mother, wife and bestfriend.

Hold on because it will be because of all your hurt that a lil boy someday will get the chance to play in the dirt

you will watch him grow, one day from your window you will smile as you watch him mow

It will be because of all that pain and hurt that he will never hurt, they will never hurt

you'll watch'em grow and smile when you see them flirt all because of "that hurt"

Hold on to all those wishes, hope & dreams for because of these things you will one day get that ring & hear those wedding bells ring

You will then Thank God for keeping you alive to live this dream

Hold on because all that hurt will one day become as faded as an old tee shirt and all that pain will just be a sad memory of your brain

Hold on lil girl, Hold on! Because of you, the chain will be broken a beautiful family will be woven together and in your home Gods grace will be spoken

Hold on for if you give up Gods plan will be all messed up. Hold on and Keep your head up.

Jeremiah 29:11: I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

Because of you

2011-11-03T09:55:00.000-05:00

Because of you, I live

Because of you I laugh, I hurt, I cry

You are the one who taught me to be strong …....all along

Every blow from your fist, I would imagine a kiss

You are the one who taught me to be hard, with every kick to my heart (literally)

Because of you I leaned to hold in every tear, year after year

Beer after beer, I saw you more clear and the fear Well, that came the day you ruptured my inner-ear

You are the one, the only one,........ I just wanted to be near …..to wipe away my every tear

Because of all your unjust ….I could no longer trust …..later I found out Trust is a must

Everyday because of you I am who I am …...without fear and YES, I am being sincere

Because of you I'm a mommy dear & it's so clear that I don’t have to fear you anymore mommy dear

You are now just a childhood fear that keeps me strong and reminds me that my sons are more important then any beer or bar cheer

Because of you I now run to God when I have a fear, Because he always wants me near

Because of you I am a wife who has a beautiful life …..a much higher standard for life

“You have done the best you knew how”, Well then take a bow

Because you have taught me to live in the here and now,

You can rest easy because I have taught myself how to live now

Because of you, I am today, who I wished you would have been then. Thank you, my next of kin.

My Serenity Prayer

2011-06-08T10:40:00.000-05:00

Serenity: I want to remain calm & have a lot of patience when it comes to my extended"family" & dealing with the childhood memories.

If you have a few "family"members like I do, then you know this is not always easy & If your childhood was anything like mine was then ...and ONLY then, will you UNDERSTAND where I'm coming from

Courage: To Stand up for what I believe and know whats right & still be respectful at all times

This is the #1 rule I have taught my boys.

Wisdom: To know right from wrong, and to have the strength to stay on the straight & narrow in all I do.

This is easier said then done on most days. But I'm learning.

A lil' about me.......

2011-05-25T07:55:00.000-05:00

I just found this Blog thing it seems like a really neat idea. Not sure if its for me but like i said just trying it out for now. I wont spend to much time on here, i wont even promise i will blog everyday, and this could get ugly. I mean my daily life. Im a mother of 4 sons Mario who is months away from 18, Rafael who is 15, and Carlos is 13, and my lil guy Alex is 10. They alone keep my busy! I am also a wife to an amazing husband. Saul. I try to live life to the fullest and make the best of whatever comes up. I am usually up at the crack of dawn, I am not a sleeper I feel like its a wast of beautiful given hours. I love to see the sun come up and go down. When my kids were way little I would tell them "look what God painted just for YOU" a beautiful sky. I miss it when my guys were little as you can see. We do almost everything together, were very close. We are all very competitive. We love sports! Football! Go Nebraska Huskers!!! We also love love love soccer. Then we just a few years ago got a liking to wrestling when my son tried to his freshman year and now Alex loves it also.
I will post some photos later. I live life as an open book. I think you should always stay real and be open and honest with your husband and children. These 5guys know the great,the good, the bad , and the ugly (childhood) and they still love me. They are the reason i live, and I don't just say that. my childhood was and is my reason for living also. Kinda like ...to show people it could be done....the cycle could be broken. Thats a whole other story thou. Well Thanks for reading this I hope to keep this up. I do keep a little note book anyway of everyday things, feelings new and old some friends have called it poetry or poems to me its just writing. Anyway, Thanks & Welcome to My Life! My Blog.