Just Two Cents

Five Tips for your First Date

noreply@blogger.com (don_simoun) — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 08:12:00 +0000

Got this from an internet article. Don't have any idea who wrote this.

Enjoy

Let's face it…first dates are tough and the majority will end before they even really start. Here is a list the five most important things both men and women should keep in mind. A first date is simply two people getting together to find out more about each other…its an interview where you determine if the other person will be a good fit for you. Many of these things may seem like common sense but you will be surprised with the things some people are capable of.

Top Five Things for Men

1. Listen to your date. Listening to your date is not the same thing as waiting for her to pause so that you can begin speaking).
2. Be chivalrous…yes that means you'll have to open the car door for them.
3. Don't get drunk. If you're not sure you can, just stay away from alcohol all together.
4. Always be on time.
5. Play it safe and stay away from the religious and/or political topics…this can lead to disaster.

Top Five Things for Women

1. Say thank you if he does something nice and/or unusual.
2. If you're not interested and rather be friends, just say it. The guy may not want to hear it but trust me, it's better (and easier) now than later on.
3. Don't get drunk (see #3 for men).
4. Laugh at his jokes even if they are awfull.
5. Make lots of eye contact and smile.

Did I Marry the Right Person

noreply@blogger.com (don_simoun) — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 02:08:00 +0000

This is a very good article. Those who are still single may learn something from here...
Those who are already married or in a commitment may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage & relationship ...

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit) .

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.

You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?"
And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.

This is when marriages or relationship breakdown. People blame their spouse/partner for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage/relationsh ip for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious.
But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.

You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE/RELATIONSH IP IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage/relationsh ip work. Sure true love can only happen after you've fallen out of love. When you begin choosing to love, even if you don't feel like doing it ---- that's true love. And that's the foundation of a lasting and strong marriage.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger.
It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can "make"love.

Love is indeed a "decision".. . Not just a feeling. You'll not just go away with your relationship just because the feeling is gone. In the Bible, love is a command. You make it happen.

Remember this always:

"God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."
FW: Ruth Beltran

"Marriage is more than saying I Do. Marriage, like a precious plant, needs constant tending for it to grow, flourish, and bear fruti to last a lifetime, and beyond."
-David and Evelyn Feliciano

AUTHOR: ANONYMOUS (NO IDEA WHERE I GOT IT)

On Friends

noreply@blogger.com (don_simoun) — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 04:21:00 +0000

Here's my definition of friendship (well, aside from the common definition we know).

Aside from they are just there for the fun, I strongly believe that friends are there to save you from the internal evils that we have as a person. They are there to help you in times of distress and not just leaving you alone.

I'm blessed to have friends such as these. In return, I give them what is due. I love them back and never leave them alone, even if they are down to their addictions and sicknesses.

That's what true friends are. They are parts of you that you need and they are parts of you that will save you and bring you to what is right and just.

To all my friends, I love you and I thank you.

Speaking Well In Public Is By No Means Accidental

noreply@blogger.com (don_simoun) — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 07:50:00 +0000

I got this over the internet. Hope you like it.

You might possibly know how jokes can complement your speech. But jokes can also cause your speech to be disastrous. Jokes are both a boon and bane to a speech.

If you are very much in comfort with it, use humor. Just check it first if it fits, serving as a breaker between sections or emphasizing a certain point. A funny and great line, or a comment that is irreverent can help liven up the presentation that you have and will help people to remember the things you have said. Of course any joke must be related to the topic that you have in some way. If you are not sure about something, you could also use a humorous photo or cartoon (with the permission of the photographer or illustrator, of course) in your slides.

Aside from making jokes or humor in your speech, you could improve your public speaking with these other tips.

- You should be able to grab your listeners' attention even right at the start. That is why it is important that you start correct – confident posture, eloquent speaking style, controlled voice tonality and impact, and a nice, well-thought speech from you.

- The information in your message should be organized clearly and logically, making it easy for your listeners to follow what you are trying to say. Keep things easy and simple. Divide the information into smaller blocks and work from there. Highlight the points that you want your audience to remember.

- Your most crucial point should be the conclusion, bringing the speech to a close. The conclusion sets the tone of the speech, and lets the listeners think about and ponder on the things you have just said. Literary devices, such as quotes, stories, rhetorical questions, or surprising facts, can be used for concluding a speech, although of course, these devices should relate well to the topic of your speech.

- Deliver the conclusion that you have clearly and slowly. Keep eye contact with your listeners as you speak. Smile at them, thanking them for the time that they have given you.

- You should remember all these tips and in due time, you would be surprised to see how these techniques have helped you in your future speaking presentations. Your listeners will eventually understand the information you have given them and respect you for your ability in delivering that information.

Seven Keys to Happiness

noreply@blogger.com (don_simoun) — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 02:49:00 +0000

Found this article in the net. Hope you like this

This article summarizes much of what I've learned thus far on my journey to self-discovery and positive growth. Along the way, through many of life's ups and downs, with the help of many awesome teachers and mentors, I now most often live in a state of happiness and contentment. I still have lots to learn but I wanted to share with you what I've found most helpful thus far. I truly believe that all people have the capacity to choose their mental attitude. Therefore, if happiness is what you desire, then you must choose it. Here are some helpful ideas to help you do just that.

1. Self-Worth
Self-worth-without it, happiness will always be just beyond your grasp. Self-worth is, of course, something that can be measured along a continuum. It isn't like you either have it or you don't. You can possess varying degrees and those degrees can themselves vary depending on the circumstances of your life.

Generally, the person who is happiest has a healthy amount of self-worth without an inflated view of their own self-importance. This is the fine line that must be walked between confidence and arrogance.

Confidence implies a certain sense of surety while recognizing that each of us is just a different cog in a very big wheel. No one person is any more important than anyone else. Those with high self-worth know their life's purpose. They are in tune with what their mission is and proceed to make it their life's work. They also recognize the value of everyone else with whom they share space.

Those who are arrogant recognize their own self-worth but then proceed to look down upon those they deem as unworthy. Then at the other end of the continuum, there are those who recognize the importance of others but don't believe they are worthy to breathe air.

A healthy balance of self-worth is the key.

2. Gratitude
The second key to happiness is gratitude. It is human nature to enumerate the things that are NOT the way we want them to be. We are programmed to notice when things are off, and not necessarily appreciate when all is as we want it. This makes maintaining an attitude of gratitude a challenge but nonetheless something we should strive for. I have mentioned before that Universal Law tells us that we attract those things we think about most often. When we are grateful for what we have, more is bestowed upon us.

I know someone who believes, "No good deed goes unpunished" and lives his life accordingly. Another person I know always says, "I have the worst luck. Nothing good ever happens to me." And you know what? They are right! The Universe delivers to them exactly what they expect. There are others who have similar bad luck but who persevere or find the lesson in the situation. These people find more happiness and contentment in return.

Another point about gratitude is to be thankful for what you have. I love the line in the song that says, "It's not having what you want; it's about wanting what you got!" There's nothing wrong with wanting to do better than you are as long as you are grateful along the way. Even when things are bad, there is always good to be found in it. Life is in perfect balance and order. Anything with a great deal of pain associated with it also has a tremendous positive side if we are of the mind to see it.

3. Positive Life Framing
The third key to happiness is positive life framing. There are three ways to view any piece of information-positively, negatively or neutrally. Viewing information as neutral is the best way to go through life. It allows us to accept everything as it comes and to stop resisting what actually is in any given moment. However, many of us have great difficulty with that one.

As an incremental step, it is helpful to find a way to reframe life's negative events into positive ones. Even in life's tragedies, there is a way to find something positive about the situation. Almost always, in hindsight, we can see the benefit. The real benefit comes when we are able to see the benefit as the tragedy unfolds, or at least stay open to the thought that there is a benefit even if you are unable to see it in that moment. Just as in physics where there can be no neutron without a proton, so it is with life where there can be no negative event without a corresponding positive one.

4. Internal Locus of Control
The fourth key to happiness is possessing an internal locus of control. People who have an internal locus of control believe that they are responsible for their own behavior and its results based on their own personal decisions and efforts. This is contrasted with those who have an external locus of control. These individuals believe that their behavior is determined by external circumstances such as other people, fate, luck or circumstances beyond their control.

Having an internal locus of control produces a "can do" attitude. An external locus of control generally results in a helpless attitude. Even though people with an internal locus of control still have situations that occur that are beyond their control, they will seek some action that can be taken by them to improve the situation. They do not spend time bemoaning the fact that something bad happened to them. They look for decisive action opportunities to turn things around.

In this way, a person is more in charge of their own destiny. They can reject the role of victim and take definitive action to create greater life satisfaction.

5. Lifelong Learning
The fifth key to happiness is to adopt an attitude of lifelong learning. Your goal each day should be to learn something new. As you encounter new people and situations, look for the wisdom that can be extracted from them. Particularly in areas where we believe we made a "mistake", seek to uncover the lesson. There is always a lesson to be learned.

When we believe we know all there is to know, that is when we are in dangerous territory. When we think we know all, then we stop learning from the people and situations in our path. When we stop looking for the lessons, we begin to blame things external to ourselves for the pain we experience instead of seeking to learn whatever we need to know for our life's journey.

6. Love
Love is the sixth key to happiness. I am not talking about having a significant other in your life who loves you. I'm talking about having love inside of you that is just bursting out of you to touch others. Unconditional love is a concept we all strive for-unfortunately, most of us are looking to receive it rather than give it. You are truly fortunate and blessed when you have the unconditional love of someone-whether it's your life partner, your mother, father, aunt, uncle, grandmother, grandfather, foster parent, friend or puppy!

Truly unconditional love is rare and a gift to be cherished. However, ask yourself the question, how many times have you extended unconditional love? Do you have unconditional love for your fellow human beings? This is the kind of love that will lead to happiness. It doesn't matter if that special someone doesn't love you back, it's what's in YOUR heart that matters. Are you someone who only loves as much as you feel you are being loved in returned? That certainly isn't unconditional! If you are seeking love in your life, then you must be loving in order to attract the love you seek. This will lead to the ultimate happiness-loving, expecting nothing in return. Try it.

7. Contribution
The last key to happiness is contribution. This is a combination of knowing and following one's life purpose. When people understand their divine purpose in this life and then go about fulfilling that purpose, they are making an awesome contribution to the good of mankind. Having meaningful work and leaving a legacy is an important key to happiness. When we do the work we were meant to do, we touch lives. It doesn't matter whether one's purpose is to clean the public restrooms or to find the cure for AIDS, following your divine purpose will bring about a strong life fulfillment that cannot be experienced any other way. Contribution is critical to happiness.

Implementing these seven keys to happiness in one's life is not an easy task. Personal coaching can be helpful as you are attempting to change some old, harmful habits into more productive, happiness-inducing ones. Jack Canfield says, "Of all the things successful people do to accelerate their trip down the path to success, participating in some kind of coaching program is at the top of the list. A coach will help you clarify your vision and goals, support you through your fears, keep you focused, confront your unconscious behaviors and old patterns, expect you to do your best, help you live by your values, show you how to earn more while working less, and keep you focused on your core genius." Why not give it a try?

Refreshing Your Relationship: Give 100 percent

noreply@blogger.com (don_simoun) — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 01:35:00 +0000

Got this from an internet article. Sadly, there's no author to this....

A common expression is "I'll meet you halfway," and we often take that attitude into our marriage. I hear frequent complaints from couples in trouble that their partner isn't pulling their fair weight, that one is giving more than the other.

Whoever determined that life is a 50-50 proposition?

Some give more than others. Some take more than others. On every level of society from politics to business to social interactions, there are discrepancies of effort, economics, and emotions.

Going into a relationship with the expectation that contributions will be fairly shared is to court disaster. Over a span of time, a certain amount of evenness will develop through a process of give-and-take and ups-and-downs. But at any specific point, one may be giving while the other needs to just take for a while.

We all need to enter the most important relationship of our life with the foreknowledge and determined commitment to give 100%. Once we have internalized that concept, we can avoid the painful feelings we get when we think we are being cheated of our just rewards. If the relationship is healthy, and both partners are committed to the 100% investment, eventually it will work out somewhere in the middle -probably never 50-50 but somewhere in the broad bell curve of averages: 30% to 70%. At different times, the equation adjusts as careers, children, and other responsibilities change.

If you are the individual giving 70% and your other half is falling a little short, remember that you swore to give 100% so you are much better off than you expected.

Can you see how such thinking changes the framework of your marriage? You're not getting cheated, you're getting much more support than your original bargain called for!

You can use this new attitude in any aspect of your partnership. Many couples develop resentment over their relative monetary contributions. If you have the initial anticipation of being the sole breadwinner, then any contribution by the other, however small, is a great big bonus. If you enter the union with the expectation that you will handle all the cleaning and parenting chores required, then anything done by your partner is a plus.

If one of you handles your mutual social obligations, then the participation of your spouse, even if limited to just showing up and being there, is more than you expected. You may feel, as many of my patients do, that you are not getting the support and good strokes that you deserve. Reframe the sense of deprivation within the 100% concept and you find that even occasional support and positive feedback is an unexpected gift.

We all need to feel loved and appreciated and cherished. We also need to give love and appreciation to others. If we give more than we get, we can harbor anger at our being cheated or we can love and appreciate our own selves for having a greater capacity to give.

This one single change in your outlook towards your relationship can transform the hidden resentments that result in nagging, negativity, and verbal putdowns into a deep satisfaction that leads to overt affection, positive support, and mutual respect.

Fear Not

noreply@blogger.com (don_simoun) — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 13:04:00 +0000

From an article which I found over the net.

Modern psychology today seems to suggest that living with fears is normal. Some popular phrases are, "Accepting your fears", "Managing your fears", "Embracing your fears", or, "Coping with your fears." But is that really the way the Creator intended us to live, with fear?

Fear will always limit you and keep you from being the person you really want to be. Fear is destructive and it ruins lives. Learning to live with your fears is not the answer. Ignoring your fears is not the answer. Getting rid of your fears is the answer and it is available.

If it is "normal" to live with fear why is it that not clearly spelled out to us in the Bible? In fact, just the opposite is true. Many times on the pages of Scripture you will find the phrase, "Fear not." If it is normal to accept your fears, why would God instruct us to be abnormal by saying, "Fear not?"

Why does the Bible say, "I sought the Lord and He heard me and delivered me from all my fears"? If it were God's intention for us to embrace our fears why doesn't it say, "I sought the Lord and He helped me to embrace and accept all my fears"?

God never intended for His people to be defeated and full of fear. He desires just the opposite, that we live a fulfilled life, an abundant life. He wishes above all things that we prosper and be in health. The Bible says that fear has torment and that is so true.

So many Christians are living needlessly with fears – all sorts of fears. God can deliver you of any and every fear. He can even deliver you from your deepest fear. Jesus told a man whose daughter had just died, "Fear not, only believe!" The man refused to fear and believed, and his daughter was raised back to life! Why did Jesus tell him, "Fear not?" Because fear will always keep you from believing and accepting the promises of God. But when you believe the promises of God, you will see them come to pass in your life.

Are you tired of living with fear? God can deliver you! Ask God to help you and deliver you from all your fears.

How To Manifest Miracles Now!

noreply@blogger.com (don_simoun) — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 06:16:00 +0000

Here's an article which I passed through the net. Hope you like it.

The universe is nothing but a big bowl of energy. Energy that attracts and repels. That is how dreams are either manifested or avoided. To better illustrate this concept, imagine carrying a walkie-talkie.

Al though two people can be miles and miles apart, they can still talk to each other. How can that be, since there is no connection between one another? The illusion is that they are separated, however, the truth is, they are still connected invisibly by a stream of energy.

Depending on the strength of the frequency, the louder and clear they can communicate with one another. That is assuming that both are communicating on the same channel. Life operates the same way. When we have a desire, we are sending a frequency to the universe, and the universe response to us immediately.

Most people would argue that their requests are not being granted. The truth is, that each request is always granted, what they don't seem to understand is that their request is either not clear, or that they may be operating on a different channel, or frequency. You may ask, how could that be? Simple.

On a conscious level we send our request. On a unconscious level we decide which channel we are communicating on. For example, "more money" might be set on channel 3. So consciously people would be broadcasting, "I desire more money." The challenge is, they are broadcasting it on channel 5.

That being the case, what governs the channels unconsciously? Our beliefs. The universe is always giving you that which you "believe" you deserve, not that which you desire. When what you desire and what you believe are the same, the universe will manifested it immediately? Why, because all you need to do is ask, and you shall receive.

So how do we change our channels unconsciously so that it will match our request? The same way we created them. We created our beliefs by using life experiences that we attached a meaning to. For example, we asked someone to dance and the person said no. The truth, is, there are many reasons why that person said no. It could be that she/he had a partner, or that she/he was shy. Who knows, she/he may really wanted to dance with you but was embarrassed. Notice that the reasons had nothing to do with you. However, most people take things personally or just add their own story.

In this case, since the person might have felt rejected, he/she might have thought that there was something wrong with him/her. And since the feeling was not pleasant, the person uses that as a reference point which stops him/her for asking someone else to dance.

So later on, he/she wants a loving relationship which can be broadcast on channel 7, however, his/her beliefs operates on channel 2 which avoids relationships for fear of being hurt.

So to change that belief the person would need to change the channel to let's say 4 which might be, "giving a chance to just meet someone." Once they see how the universe brings someone into their space, use that as reference for future request. That way a new belief is being cultivated so in the future, that person is operating on a frequency that is more consistent with the frequency he/she is broadcasting consciously.

That is why the rich gets richer because once they have attuned themselves to the frequency of abundance, they simple keep attracting more of that abundance which solidify their belief. It becomes a never ending cycle.

And that is what the Manifest Mircacles Online Video Class teaches. How to align yourself into that space where you become a miracle maker.

The Ways In Which People Try To Hide Their Stutter

noreply@blogger.com (don_simoun) — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 04:12:00 +0000

Here's an article sent to me by my girlfriend.

I am somebody who developed a stutter at the age of four and it continued to affect my life for the next eighteen years. My name is Steve Hill and I am now (2006) thirty-two years of age and have been fluent for around the last ten years. In this article I am going to write about the different ways in which people try to hide their stutter. Some of these people who stutter are so good at hiding it, that many of their friends or family may not even be aware that they actually have a stutter at all.

I will give examples from my own experiences and I am sure that many other people who stutter do the same as what I used to do.

The first example is in a restaurant. Fluent people look at a menu and will order what they want to eat, this might sound very obvious but this is not what I used to do. I would not look on the menu for something that I wanted but would look for something that I felt confident I would be able to say. I had a huge dislike and fear to certain words beginning with certain letters, probably the worst words were the ones which started with the letter "b". I would therefore of course avoid foods such as braised steak.

One evening when I was around sixteen years of age, I went out for a meal with a group of friends to an Indian restaurant. I looked at the menu and really wanted some form of curry. I looked at the names of these curries and did not feel that I would be able to say any of them. Chicken balti, chicken madras, lamb pasanda, where were all the easy sounds, I thought to myself. In the end, I ended up ordering scampi and chips.

If people asked me a question to which the answer included one of my difficult words, I would then attempt to think of an alternative word to say. Over the years I became an expert at doing this and could think of one of these alternative words in an instant. I have to say however that I was not happy at having to do this and always hoped that one day I would have the confidence to say exactly what I wanted to.

I have a brother who is called Gavin. When I used to phone his house I always hoped that he would answer the telephone as if his wife answered I knew I would more than likely stutter. This was because I found it very hard to say the name Gavin. I however thought of a temporary solution which was to ask if her husband was in rather than ask for my brother by name. She found this very funny and thought I was just joking about, I knew differently of course.

Even though I became quite good at hiding the stutter it was one big effort each day. I was fed up of eating and drinking things that I did not really want and constantly having to think of these alternative words. These efforts caused me a lot of stress and anxiety, my hair even started to turn grey when I was only twenty-one.

I am now happy to say that I am able to say whatever word I want to, even words like balti!

The Ways In Which People Try To Hide Their Stutter

noreply@blogger.com (don_simoun) — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 04:11:00 +0000

Here's an article sent to me by my girlfriend.

7 Goal Setting Steps

noreply@blogger.com (don_simoun) — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 03:41:00 +0000

Here's an article which was sent to me by a friend. Hope you like it!

The three keys to living without limits have always been the same. They are clarity, competence, and concentration. Goal setting will help you live without limits. Learning how to set goals is an art. Learn why setting goals is a necessity. Here are 7 Must-have conditions to set goals.

1. State your goal in positive terms.

People often set a goal in terms of what they don't want! "I don't want to smoke, to be angry..." It's "what I want to do or want to be" See the difference? Hear the nuance? Are you ready to state positively every goal you want to achieve?

2. Make sure the goal can be self-initiated and maintained The goal doesn't depend on the attitude of your neighbor, on the behavior of your wife or family. The success of your goal must depend on you, and you alone.

3. Your goal must be sensory specific

Here comes the importance of clarity. The clearer the picture, the more compelling and the more attractive it is, the greater the drive to reach your final destination. Act as if the goal is already achieved. Make a very clear image, in rich details, and you will be so enthusiastic that you will automatically attract the solution.

4. State the context of the goal.

"Where and when will my goal be achieved?" The answer can be obvious for some goals but not at all for others. Try to be as specific as possible.

5. Run a Quality Control check on the goal to ensure balance in all areas of your home/work life.

Above all, you don't want to lose your balance. When you run this 'Quality Control Check", you play a win-win strategy. Everything is one system and the whole system must win. You will find peace of mind in knowing that you are in harmony with the system. Step back and look at all areas of your life. Is your goal worth it?

6. State the resources needed to achieve the goal: what is the price to pay?

There is always a price to pay, for everything. There is always some kind of sacrifice to make when you set a worthy goal. In this step, you will define all that you will need, in terms of time, money and energy.

7. State the value and the consistency of the goal.

Why do I want to reach this goal? Why is it important to me? Is this goal in harmony with my vision, beliefs and values? Answer these questions. If you don't seem to be satisfied with the answers, maybe you should change your goal. Set a new goal until you feel it is in harmony with your passion, vision or mission.

When you properly set a goal with this model, two important things occur. First, you are in total harmony with your vision, belief and value systems because your entire "You" agrees and offers no resistance. Second, you are programmed to succeed. Indeed, your very (whole) neurology and physiology are both instructed to drive you towards obtaining your desired goal. You're totally focused.

Again, The three keys to living without limits have always been the same. They are clarity, competence, and concentration. When you set crystal clear goals, and you respect the 7 must-have conditions, you can literally live without limits, can't you?

5 Golden Rules to long-term relationships

noreply@blogger.com (don_simoun) — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 11:05:00 +0000

A relationship coach lays out his 5 Golden Rules for evaluating the prospects of long-term success.

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a
divorce rate of close to 50 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding
Mr/Ms Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love." I believe this is
the #1 mistake people make when they date.

Choosing a life partner should never be based on love (alone). Though this may sound not politically correct, there's
a profound truth here. Love (alone) is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good
marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come.

Let me say it again: You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more.

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION #1:
Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important?
Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone.

What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper
and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there
are growing apart.

To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life - bottom line - and marry someone who wants the
same thing.

QUESTION #2:
Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.

Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is Trust! i.e.
trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.

A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and
feelings.
Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3:
Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person.

How can you test? Here are some suggestions.
> 1. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
> 2. Are they serious about improving themselves?

A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing".

"So, ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?"

Usually, a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing
the right thing.

You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION #4:
How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability
to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?

To measure this, think about the following:
> 1. How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc?
> 2. How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation?
> 3. Do they show respect?

If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they'll have
gratitude for you - who can't do nearly as much for them!
> 4. Do they gossip and speak badly about others?
Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly will
eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION #5:
Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're
married.

As a colleague of mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage... for the worse!"
If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your
head and less with your heart.
It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the
key issues.

Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself
in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

HOW WILL I KNOW IF I'VE MET THE PERSON I SHOULD MARRY?

The choice of a marriage partner should not be based on "I get a warm, wonderful feeling whenever we're together and I
want to have that warm wonderful feeling forever, so let's go get married".

Feelings, as we have discussed, have no logic on their own. They need to be acknowledged, of course, but they need
considerable assistance from your brain.

Marriage means choosing the person you will spend the rest of your life with. This, as you may have guessed, is a very
long time to spend with one person. This person will live with you, eat meals with you, sleep with you and go on
vacation with you. More important yet, this person will share your children.

You need to choose wisely.

The decision should not be made based on feelings alone. You need to ask yourself some tough questions. The decisions
have to be made on solid considerations.

Will this person be a good partner? Is she mature enough to put her own selfish desires aside to look out for what is
best for the family?
Is he prepared to be a good provider? What is his track record? Is he responsible enough to get a good job and keep
it?

Will this person be a good parent? Can you stand the thought of your children turning out exactly like this person?
They will, you know. Children spend a lot of time with their parents and consequently pick up many or most of their
parents' character traits. You had better like your spouse's traits a lot because you will be seeing them again in
your children.
If something were to happen to you, would you completely trust this person, alone, with the task of raising and
forming your children? This is not a pleasant thought, but it is an important consideration. Not everyone dies at a
ripe old age with great grandchildren gathered around the bed.
Sometimes a parent dies and leaves young children in the care of the other parent. If you feel that you would need to
be around to correct or lessen this person's influence on your children, then you are considering the wrong person.

Does this person share your faith in God? God does not give us children so that we can mould them into the coolest,
most popular people in school. Our job is to get them to heaven. To do that, we need to raise them believing in God.
It is tough to do that if only one parent believes.

Saying "This is right and that is wrong, and I want you to ignore Mommy until you are thirty-five" does not work.
Small children ask about eight million questions in a single day. The answers to those questions go a long way toward
forming the kind of adults they will become. Who will be answering those questions for your children?

Does this person you are marrying have sexual self-control?

Single people sometimes have this idea that marriage is just some kind of lifelong sex festival and that as long as
they have each other, they will never be tempted by other people. Wrong!
There are many times in every marriage when one partner or the other is sexually unavailable - illness, the last
months of pregnancy, travel.
There are also times when spouses, just get on each others' nerves. At times like this, other people can seem very
appealing. That can be dangerous, because there are plenty of very attractive people out there who are willing to make
themselves available to married men and women. Do you want someone who has never said "no" to sex? If he is not good
at saying "no" at eighteen, it won't be different at forty. Do you want to worry about whether or not your Spouse is
being faithful?

These are very important questions, and if you are not comfortable with all of the answers, you should definitely not
marry this person.

None if this is to say that feelings play no role at all in a marriage decision. You don't have to, "Well, I suppose
that you would make a good spouse and parent, so even though I don't particularly like you I guess I'll marry you.?

You need to be happy and excited about the prospect of spending your life with someone. Your brain however must
acknowledge that this person as a good choice. Don't listen to your heart alone or your head alone.

Wait until your heart and head agree

Long Distance Relationships

noreply@blogger.com (don_simoun) — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 11:21:00 +0000

My girlfriend and I got separated.

Not that we broke up, but she went to Aspen to work for her internship.

It's really hard to manage long distance relationship. Some of the many factors are currently in play: trust, time, communication. These factors, when played right, could lead to a better relationship, else it's downfall. No wonder that some people call these as "surviving a long distance relationship".

This is honestly my second time to experience a long distance relationship. The first one did not survive because there were issues of trust and have minimal communication. I gave all that needs to give (although this was my first time to be in a relationship), but there were no returns. She never returned the love that I gave to her.

In my present relationship for almost 3 years, we've have made a connection between each other and have defined some things in our lives. We've got to know each other during these years and became comfortable with one another. That's why when she left for a one-year internship in the US, it was really difficult for us.

But I've learned a lot since that failed long distance relationship. Here are some tips which I would like to share to you in order to "survive" the relationship:

Be true and loyal to one another. That's the basic and most important rule in surviving a long distance relationship. Most relationships fail because of this aspect. Open yourself up to her and know that what you have right now is the one and the rest are just temptations.
Have a special time or date when you can talk. While she was still here with me, we have this "special" day because I don't have much time to visit her because of my work as a web developer. Thus, we made an agreement that we will always meet and go out every Saturday. From there, we decided that Saturday will be our special day and the time that I will call her and have a good time sharing experiences between one another.
Give encouragement. My girlfriend gets depressed most of the time because of her work. Moreover, the distance between us adds to the depression. Thus, I always encourage her to do things well. Moreover, I always tell her that there are only 10 months left before she goes home to me.
Share experiences. Every time that we would talk over the phone, I would share to her my experiences for the day: how pissed I am because of our Project Manager, how good I was during the development of the project, how much I've learned in doing things well, etc. On the other hand, she also shares with me some of her experiences: how well she managed the area that she is in, how stupid and considerate the customers are (she's an intern chef by the way), how cold the environment is (since it is snowing that time), and many more. With that, we don't miss on the important events and happenings between each other.
Oldies are still goodies. Send her mails, even if they are just short. Whenever I arrive in the office, the first thing I do is to write her an email sharing to her the things that had happened to me yesterday. Sometimes it's quite long, but most of it are just short. What's important is that she knows what you're doing and how you are feeling.
Visit her if possible. If possible only. Nothing beats the mere presence of your one true love with you. I had that experience when I visited her in Aspen just lately. Both of us cannot believe it because the cost of going here is very high. But thanks to God that it was made possible. There, I knew what was she doing and the environment that she is in. Moreover, we got to reconnect on the ties between each other.

I know how difficult it is to be away to your one true love. But here are some of my personal suggestions in order to "survive the crisis". There are many more, and I guess they may help you.

I hope that you survive your relationship and continue loving each other.

Choral Arranging after 3 or more months

noreply@blogger.com (don_simoun) — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 15:26:00 +0000

Waaahhh!!! After many months of doing a lot of programming, coding, scripting and many more, I already had the chance to do what my heart desired -- Arrange songs for choirs.

The last time I arranged a song was for my graduation last October 2007. I did I Love the Lord, composed by Fr. Arnel Aquino, SJ which I did as a tribute to all of my fellow Lasallian Ministry Office Ministers who will graduate that term (actually, most of them are my batchmates).

When it was sung during the mass, I got some responses from people. One was from our chairperson for Information Management who asked for a copy of my arrangement and also asked for some of my arrangements if I have. The second was from my parents who saw my talent and my art, although they told me that I should not focus so much in music because it will not give me anything (well, here in the Philippine setting). So I told them that this will just be my hobby.

Since then and when I joined the project that I'm working in my company, I never made any arrangements that were big. I focused myself in developing websites and stored procedures. And as I was doing this, my heart was hungry to do what I loved to do.

That was until 2 weeks ago when we were now in the User Acceptance Testing when the developers were there as support for the users. There were bugs and enhancements that were issued but they are easy to deal with.

As I lay idle, I played my sounds until it played the song The First Time I Loved Forever, the theme song of the TV Series Beauty and the Beast. It was then that it tickled my mind and my heart and started arranging the song.

During my composition (or arranging), I envisioned a girl singing this to her boyfriend, telling him how much she loves him and that her heart was already with him since the time he said hello. Thus, I arranged it for a female choir. To cut the story short, I placed there all of the emotions, feelings and thoughts in all four voices. Thus, whenever one sings a line, it is as if each voice tells a story or a message. That is my style of arranging: It is as if all voices are saying something to the audience.

This arrangement is just the first version and I plan to revise it until it will be "perfected" by asking some of my friends who are music majors.

So here it is. I finished this arrangement and I did this to my one true love. I hope she will love it.

Unlimited text promo for both Globe and Smart is not available from Dec. 25 - Jan 1

noreply@blogger.com (don_simoun) — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 15:20:00 +0000

Just read this in the news earlier in GMANews.TV. I was pissed when I saw this.

Grr...

MANILA, Philippines - Mobile telephone companies Smart Communications and Globe Telecom, Inc. will not offer unlimited text and call promotions on Christmas and on New Year’s eves.

In an interview, Smart Spokesman Ramon R. Isberto said a promotion that allows subscribers to make unlimited calls at night and send as many text messages as they can would not be made available from Dec. 23 to Dec. 25, and from Dec. 30 to Jan. 1.

Likewise, a similar promotion from Globe will not be made available on Dec. 24 and 25, and on Dec. 31 and Jan. 1, said Froilan M. Castelo, Globe’s regulatory division head.

Both companies said this is meant to prevent their networks from clogging at a time when most Filipinos greet their friends and relatives with Christmas tidings.

Smart’s promotion allows subscribers to send an unlimited number of text messages within the network for 24 hours, for P25. Users may also make an unlimited number of calls during the off-peak hours of 11 p.m. to 6 a.m.

"We are only able to offer these promotions [for calls] since these are usually dead times," Mr. Isberto said.

He added that technically, the company would not be suspending the promotion since it had clearly excluded holiday peak hours under its application with the National Telecommunications Commission.

"What we are doing is managing our network, in case there are any serious obstructions [during the holidays]," Mr. Isberto said.

"We are not taking any chances. We want to protect the network from abuse," Mr. Castelo said. "We want to avoid any congestion. We just want to clear the airwaves," he added.

The Smart and Globe promotions allow subscribers to send an unlimited number of text messages within their own networks for as low as P20 a day. Text messages normally cost a peso each.

Voice calls are also being offered at a discount. Calls made within a network can go as low as P2 per minute instead of the regular P6.50 rate.

Both companies have estimated that around a billion text messages are sent locally everyday. Mr. Castelo said this can double during the holidays, as Filipinos dash to greet friends and relatives.

Just pissed...but I'll be alright.

noreply@blogger.com (don_simoun) — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 15:10:00 +0000

I'm so damn pissed! Just got home from the midnight mass which supposedly my choir will sing. However, things turned out not the way it should be. I don't know if it is because they forgot about it or maybe they never considered that this will be our final service.

I've been with my choir for about a year which is composed of high school and grade school youth. We've been serving in our parish during Sunday Masses and at times during Anticipated Masses. I started with them as an aid to help them improve their vocal technique which I've learned when I joined the UP Singing Ambassadors under the leadership of Kuya Ed Manguiat. I've seen their improvement and how they have grown from being "tone deaf" singers and those without placement to almost good singers to start with.

Though I've planned to handle them for a very long time, there are some instances that lead me to letting them go:

They don't attend practices even if I tell them. Our regular practices are every Sunday at the parish. Whenever I tell them that we will have practices, they will always tell me that they cannot attend because they will go there and go here, they have many things to do, they will do this and do that. Geesh! Can they just spare like 2 hours for practice only for this? They are just near the parish and 2 hours can't hurt.
We don't have a permanent rehearsal place. Before we transfered to the parish for our practices, we used to do it in my house. However, Sundays are literally the busiest time at home thus we cannot accomodate them here, though I tried to convince my parents. I've even wrote a letter to a school within our village if they could spare us for 2 hours to rehearse there. Unfortunately, they denied it implicitly (it's an irony because the principal said last year that if there's anything they can do, we'll just tell them).
The project in our company had taken a toll already. I'm not only a musician but a programmer as well, and our project had really taken a toll on all of the developers. What started as a misplanned project bore bad fruits on us, especially on our social life. One of my officemates who is part of the team almost lost his family because of the successive overtimes, overnights and going to work during Saturdays, Sundays and even holidays.

I've had enough! I've given every thing to my choir and I don't see the gratitude in them (well, not all of them).

I guess I've done my part already. It's up to them now.

To end, while I was on my way home, I sent this message to the group:

Guys, thanks for everything. It's graduation time. God bless to everyone.

How to Get Rich During Recession

noreply@blogger.com (don_simoun) — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 15:08:00 +0000

Here's a blog written by one of my favorite authors, Bo Sanchez. It's really timely due to the effects of the recession that is happening in the US.

I love talking to Auntie Eunice.
She’s a petite, 4 foot 11 inches, pretty Cebuano lady who lives in California. She loves to laugh, tell stories, and always treats me to a spicy Indian lunch every time we meet. Even if she doesn’t like Indian food! But she knows I do, so that’s where she takes me.
She’s also a very successful woman. Auntie Eunice sells houses for a living. In her circles, they call her a “Million-Dollar” producer.
But more than all these, I just love talking with Auntie Eunice because of her fantastic positive energy. She rubs it on me and I feel wonderful.
But early this year, the US Recession hit the world like a crashing meteor. So when I visited her last September, I feared the worst. I knew there were a million foreclosures all over the US, and a million more houses soon to be foreclosed. People were losing their homes. Who in his right mind would buy houses now?
When I went around the West and East Coast, my fears were proven right. I met a number of Real Estate agents. Most of them told me, “I haven’t sold anything for months.” Some of them were applying for new jobs just to survive.
So when I met Auntie Eunice, I was very cautious about asking on her business. But after our little chitchat, catching up on family and stuff, I finally asked her, “How’s business, Auntie?”
Her reply floored me. She said, “Bo, I’m selling more houses now than ever before!”
My jaw dropped. I couldn’t believe my ears.
She continued, “In fact, we’re expanding. I now have 20 agents working under me. It’s a great business out there.”
I blinked hard. Was she from another planet? I wanted to ask, “Auntie Eunice, don’t you read the newspapers? Don’t you know there’s a recession out there? You shouldn’t be selling houses. You should be like everyone else, suffering and depressed, crying inside their homes watching soap operas!”
But Auntie Eunice is not like everyone else.

She Doesn’t Read The Newspapers!

I learned that she doesn’t even read the newspapers. “Why should I?” she said, “It’s filled with all these negative news.” She says she’d rather be in the streets, selling her houses to wonderful people who need wonderful homes.
That day, I met a living proof that success is all about attitude.

Auntie Eunice is that proof, standing 4’11 inches tall, right in front of me.

She doesn’t care if there’s a recession in the world.

Because in the world of Eunice, there’s no such thing. She’s declared it: “I’m not going to join the recession.”

Oh, let me mention two other great things about her: She loves people. And she loves God.

“Success is all about relationships,” she told me. “People I’ve sold houses to years ago are buying again, or they refer me to others who need new homes. We’re all friends.” I realized that more than a Real Estate Expert, Auntie Eunice is a People Expert.

Finally, she’s also a devoted Christian. Together with her husband and three beautiful adult children, they serve the Lord in various ways.

Don’t Join The Recession!

Do you want to succeed despite what’s happening around you?

You don’t have to join the recession.

Auntie Eunice reminds me that success is not about external circumstances, but about three important components: (1) a powerful mindset, (2) practical wisdom, and (3) inner character. Develop these three things, and you will succeed no matter what chaos is happening around you.

(By the way, if you want me to help you in gaining these three components of success, read by P.S. below…)

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez

Enjoy life!!!