KAFKA cafe

Kolkata

2012-01-19T01:05:00.003+05:30

This past week saw Sailor flying to Kolkata. Kolkata is a bustling overcrowded metropolis.
Its roads are absolutely congested despite having 5 different modes of mechanized public transport. Taxis are still the good old ambassadors. Trams are funny metal boxes moving in all directions. Actually trams go the wrong way on a one way. One ways change overnight in Bangalore, but in Kolkata they change thrice a day. Imagine being caught in the transition traffic with out any clue what is happening, when the only sole guide to travel is GPS on the phone and it shows a different direction. It is not the fault of the GPS. It actually highlighted a different route; sailor took the chaotic one-way only because it seemed shorter.
The people in Kolkata , at least the ones sailor ran into are not really from Kolkata. They all swear by Kolkata, but swear unmentionables in the same breath and demand an apology from the clueless bystander. The unknown bystander also swears back and goes back to his siesta.But they all form a queue; lines for the waiting. This is probably what commies did.
Hooghly is a useful river. Sailor has seen a few rivers ~~not to mention the sewer-rivers of Bangalore~~, but this turned out to be an exciting river to visit. The river had commercial ferries and launches complete with quays and schedules and people with luggage looking at watches and nodding heads when their ride was late. Sailor thought it would be more like a joy boat-ride with families of mummy-daddy and kids munching peanuts trying hard to paddle their way around. Pleasant surprise to find only a few of us taking pictures with cellphones and DSLRs while the rest of people sat with the' bored look' of public transport commuters.
Never take the buses in Kolkata. "If you get inside a bus, the only things you'll come out with are probably your underwear", the cook at the guest house had told us, before going off to his afternoon siesta.
We didn't listen to him. Sailor thought he had almost lost his underwear, but fortunately the bus stop came up. The bus stop was college street. Yeah, it is not a regular tourist destination, but Sailor decided to go there. It was supposed to be the place for books - where publications had offices and the street had small chai-shop sized shops selling all sorts of books. But it turned out it wasn't a place where one could go in leisure and browse through books and buy what they liked. Unless one has a checklist, it is difficult to find titles. The books are mostly of academic orientation - tenth standard, CBSE, ALL INDIA PMT, etc.
But it turned out to be fun in a different kind of way. Xavier and Jag grumbled, especially when Sailor took the Metro and dashed off to the President's Place (Yeah, President has moved to Kolkata).
The flight back was rocking with turbulence but we did get to see the bay of Bengal and the coastline.
The cabin attendants were cute.

Impasse

2011-12-21T23:17:00.001+05:30

Flogging a dead horse, that's what I am doing here. Wait a minute, where is the horse? and who is getting flogged?
I didn't plan to write the year ending post. The blog has gone dead, almost. Only on lying close to the ground does one hear faint whispers of breaths. The blood is all gone and the flesh was never there.
A bribe for the ferryman; the year draws to a close.
All around people rejoice and regale and drown in the festive spirits.
Besides there is nothing to write about. Nothing that shouldn't happen didn't happen. Nothing happened; but that is far better than something untoward happening.
Very less people to shout out for. It is the same people as last year, only the list is smaller.
Styx will never dry up.
A bribe for the ferry man

F-f

2011-12-09T19:35:00.001+05:30

One flutters and other fibrillates. This is said of the heart. It is a flutter but this time, its pathological. Beware, if it flutters too much , you might stroke out. That doe-eyed chick reciting algorithms at the same time strutting her stuff, your heart is a flutter. You think you are superman? you can do anything to show off? I have kryptonite; and you don't need to go to another planet.
So then you play the age card. Yeah, you are older, stronger, and corpulent
when we don't mind our path, land mines burst; and we lose a limb, and sometimes our minds.
But now I roam with EKGs. We need something simpler for the brain.
But of course, matters of the heart are complicated and those of the mind, well, psycho is the word.
And there are also good byes. For when the first one leaves, there are banquets and parties and orgies.
A little bit of all for the ones who leave in between. For being the last one to leave, sorry, one large measure of local liquor.
Better still for the one who waves, dig out your pocket, it is empty, save the same dirty hanky you wave each time to "happy journey"

Worm-i-celli

2011-11-16T21:57:00.001+05:30

There are these worms. Most doctors know them as specimens kept in glass jars filled with formalin or through elaborate anatomical diagrams in textbooks of parasitology. All they do is read about it for some lame examination where a question framed thus may be asked, "describe the life-cycle of the round worm and mention the various clinical manifestations of worm-infestations".
The first thing that flashes to anyone would be an off white cylindrical (not to mention slimy, ugly, emetogenic) organism. The rest of the answer would be a concoction brewed from fertile imaginations.
Occasionally, when professors of the grey-hair generation or the no-hair generation, talk one gets to hear amusing anecdotes revolving around the central theme called -the worm.
Sailor is now a qualified doctor working in a hospital which is just on the outskirts of the city. A lot of in-coming pathology is the rural population. Raw and fresh cases just hand-picked for text book learning.
This past week, a burly man walked in to the OPD with a grave face. He was youngish with a beer belly and red eyes and the 'sonorosity' in his voice suggested an ill-slept hang-over. The cause of this was his 5 year old son who had developed a bad cough and needed urgent cough syrup.
He walked in to Comedy-king's (amazing how all the fun happens in that cubicle - 29A) cubicle and sat down.
"what brings you to the hospital" asks Comedy King
"my son - he is not well" comes a reply from the Hang-over
"oH, You have to take him to the pediatrician, we treat only adults"
"no, no; I mean I came to the hospital for my son, but now I have a problem"
So the Hang-over, went on to narrate how his son had fallen ill and he to had bring him to hospital and what ever money he had drawn in the ATM was spent in the hospital and how he could pay only by card.
After a lot of back story, "actually the problem is, suddenly i felt like passing stools, I went to the toilet and while I was crapping, something this long came out (by 'this long' he was referring to his palm's length)"
He looked shocked and agitated.
Comedy-king, with his great differential ignorance thought it was piles and sent him across to surgery.
The hang-over thinking it was a serious problem which warranted immediate attention, rushed to the ER.
Uncle Scrooge in the ER went one step further. He told the Hang-over to go back to the toilet and pull out what ever had come out and show it to Comedy King.
The Hang-over obediently did so and went back to 29A.
He pulled out a plastic cover and showed it to Comedy-king.
"this what came out'. "
A bewildered comedy king open the cover. There were two long cylindrical off-white worms, one longer and larger than the other, inside the cover. Comedy-king, like most other doctors of of our times had not seen Ascaris lumbricoides outside a specimen bottle in a parasitology class. He was taken aback and rushed to Sailor's cubicle. 'A man has worms. He has brought them in a plastic cover"
So Sailor walked across to 29A where he took one look at the worms and "Round worms.Male and femal. Classic text book description- the female is larger than the male. Put Albendazole and send him"
Apparently, Comedy-king (thinking it was prolapsed piles )had previously told the Hang-over that it was a serious condition and may need surgery.
Clueless about the nature of the diagnosis and simplicity of the treatment involved, the Hang-over picked up his blackberry-like phone and dialed some number and barked out orders in mafia style, "come to the hospital urgently. Doctor thinks I have serious problem. Get some 10-20,000 rupees. They might operate on me."
Sailor and Comedy king laughed and laughed about that phone call and the look on his face for many hours.
To add to the poor fellow's anxiety, Comedy King added that there may lots more left inside and when they drop out dead after one or two days, they will look like vermicelli.

There is also this story which again involves the doctor at large- Comedy king and worms.
That was in the time of the rains. The ER was flooded with people bitten by snakes. A 25 year old boy who was used to handling snakes was bitten by a baby Russell's viper. It is still poisonous despite being a baby. He had some hemato-toxic manifestations which had been treated but his hand had swollen up for which he was being monitored in the High Dependency Unit. One morning, Comedy-king was accompanying a Professor -of -the -grey hair-genearation on rounds, when he encountered some relatives of the boy rushing out of the HDU with fear writ large on their faces.
On being asked, "sir, we knew God was unhappy with us, that boy was bitten by a wicked snake. First his blood, then his hand, and now he is vomiting worms."
And they ran out and were never heard of again.

2011-10-22T23:06:00.000+05:30

Thanks !

5 years: visual pre-programme dysfunction

2011-10-02T09:00:00.002+05:30

Every one has dreams. It is not possible to not have dreams. It is pathological not to have dreams but the dreams that one has in waking hours, in full fledged conscious levels are the one that drive goals and life.Some people choose to call it vision. Some others call it neuro-linguistic programming or something to that effect.
You have to tell your brain you want something, the brain will make adequate changes to guide the body in getting there.
More than a decade ago, Sailor's vision was to be an extrovert. The shy and silent little kid who passed time reading Jules Verne and Issac Newton transformed into a garrulous smart alec who can't stay quiet. It gets him in to trouble many times.
5 years ago , at the inception of Kafka cafe, it was purported as an outlet for stories and poetry and other crap that happened to Sailor. Down the by lanes of time, the purpose has been lost. Now it is just another blog, which Sailor nurses just because he started. The visions of Sailor becoming a great story teller have all but evaporated . Kafka cafe is a rant spot.
It has also something to do with the lack of vision and the monotonous life style which the Sailor now leads.
All the same , it is five years and still blogging at Kafka Cafe. It is still no time for an obituary. May be five years later, or may be never.
Drink up me hearties, yo ho!

Breaking the fast

2011-09-19T13:54:00.000+05:30

Every one is fasting these days. I am fasting too. But I am not protesting anything or trying to fight for some obscure cause.
Hi, I am Sailor's badly fried pancreas.
It just means I have a tummy problem and fasting is a way of dealing with it.
I am used to this. Months of skipped breakfasts, late lunches and junk food for dinner have left me "stronger"
Hi, I am Sailor's ulcerated stomach.
Yeah, whatever, I ve adapted to it, no I am addicted to it. Early morning hypoglycemia is a way to begin the day in euphoria. Only when your head starts to spin you remember you've skipped breakfast and you haven't had anything to eat the previous night either.
Hi, I am Sailor's deranged glucose metabolism.
These days, I don't live by the spirits and the smokes, as I used to, but yet every once in a while I have to fast.
A brandy once in while doesn't hurt. Some say it is medication. I don't know which one is correct. After 48 hours of grill, even plain hot water tastes great.
Hi, I am Sailor's groaning liver.

I have been off blogging for long. I didn't realize it. When you are indulged in something you like doing, other things become insignificant.
Hi, I am Sailor's failing memory.
I may have forgotten about many things, but not my blog. I get updates. Like a sore healing gastric ulcer, which decides to go in to spasms once in while to make its presence felt, I get updates - you have one comment waiting to be moderated. It is usually spam.
Hi, I am Sailor's social self.
If the updates weren't enough, there is Facebook. Every passing day, I detest it more and more. It is supposed to help you "keep in touch". That doesn't mean I want to know what some long forgotten 'i knew her through her whose dog she petted in that party i was dragged to' is doing for the weekend.
There will be no joy in meeting a lost in the million pages of Facebook friend at a local bar and saying I know you went to wash your arse in the Thames last month.

Now I need to puke.
I haven't broken my fast yet

2011-06-05T14:39:00.002+05:30

I have forgotten how to ask a question. How, when, what, where are all forgotten words from where I write this. There is a new syntax for interrogative sentence as Wren and Martin would say. It was invented right here in this great countryland. The rules are simple.
1. Form a sentence in English
2. Attach an 'ah' in the tone of questioning towards the end of the sentence.
3. Usage of classical interrogative words are permitted only when directed or predicated to a person.
For example,
consider the following sentence:
"are you coming to my place ?"
Applying the above mentioned rules, you are coming to place is a simple sentence.
Now to add the ah. "you are coming to my place ah?"
Then to predicate,
"What man, you are coming to my place ah?"
Thats what male nurse asked his on duty counterpart. What they do at home has nothing to do with the new syntax.
For some one who has been made to read wren and martin through and through, almost at gunpoint, the new syntax is a shock.
When you politely ask, "is it done?" there is no reponse. Increase the tone to rude,
"it's donnne ah?" suddenly there's flurry of activity, and some one manages to say , "sir, what you told to do?"
*facepalm*
"go graze grass" nooooo.
"you want to graze grass ah?"
Everything comes with an ah.
Understooddah ?

Rorschach's song

2011-06-04T23:58:00.001+05:30

The future's bearing down on us like an express train
Face the lights and see if you're still the same
Wear this dark , painted mask
It's a wicked world, take it to task

Scramble, run and rush to your goal
Forget yourself and sell your soul
Bright hued butterflies sitting pretty
Severed dog-heads, a bleeding pity

Wash away the dirt, wash away the blood
Wash it all away in the rain
The future is bearing down on us like an express train

Obama killed Osamaaaaah

2011-05-04T23:51:00.000+05:30

Osama is dead. Apparently.

The world says “Obama killed Osama”.

It took ten years for them to hunt down this person. Maybe he was a terror monger and all that which was said about him, but how much of that was the world made to believe.

Anyway, now that the man is officially dead, the Obama officers have no centre of attention.

Money will still be spent, billions of it, to 'eradicte' the terror sources, but it will never be the same again with out the Osama.

Who will they pick on next, Gaddafi? He is already under fire.

The stocks will crash, recession will crop up again. The paranoid news channels will have nothing sensational.

Royal weddings will be aired live on prime time on national Television.

And there will be an Indian connection to it.

And there is also the IPL sham fest. Cheerleaders will be embarrassed to call themselves cheeerleaders. Set that aside, dancer artistes of the classical forms will be splitting their hairs. Some form of classical dance steps for cheering. #fail

Maybe Osama will come back, like the Superman, he has died many times and each time he is brought back to life. Then invent parallel universes and let loose a legion of Osamas.

And they ll have star wars, and there'll be a star wars day.

Maybe the fourth be with you. Fifth through seventh belong to Rocky Balboa.

This will be called scar wars. A scarred Osama escapes in to another dimension and takes revenge on Obama from that dimension. Obama invents a novel way to travel dimensions and gets another nobel prize.

Facebook spammers will have a field day. And most morons on friend lists will salivate and click on the links. Spam exists because there are Jackasess who fall prey to pranks many times and more.

Work in the MICU is like being locked in an atomic disintegrator. Only difference is Sailor will come out as The invisible man and not as Dr. Manhattan. He has already lost that thing the people called weight, next in line is his mind.

That was long lost and never found, some people might claim. That might even be the next Indiana Jones movie starring a heavily botoxed Harrison Ford in the fifth sequel, Indiana Jones and The Realm of Sailor's long Lost Mind.

If any one wants to complain about how hectic and stressful their life is, Sailor has no ears. He will gladly trade one day in his life to show what sort of a heaven they live in.

This past friday, just when the sailor was getting ready for another day at work, a man burst his lung. Scamper, hurry, Tube inserted man breathes again, one hour later, his other lung bursts, another tube inserted. Man ALIVE. Half an hour later, a lady throws seizures, wont stop, intubate, stick needles in. In another corner of the ICU, somebody's kidneys are failing. Another set of tubes and dialysis. So much for the insensitive gore. A day in the life of the Sailor. Only half actually. The other half was equally dedicated to the tubes.

In all this there are a few minutes for a Midnight chai and one can only wonder if Osama is really dead.

Coming soon

2011-04-28T23:30:00.000+05:30

AMYGDALA is coming back

A brand new season

Coming soon

Only on Kafka cafe

As the clouds clear up....

2011-04-24T22:57:00.002+05:30

A rain drenched Sunday in the middle of summer; that's what it has been. Between sleep and food and television there lies a thin film of a precious entity called life. So, as the Sailor sat thinking where his life is going, he happened to notice, Kafka Cafe has 199 posts.

Instead of waiting for the stars, planets and other celestial non entities to align in a mystifying mathematical mash-up to write an apt post, Sailor chose to read his favorite blogs.

And what a revelation it happened to be.

People's lives have never interested Sailor. He is trying hard to get a grip on his .

Somewhere one hears or in this case reads something and then some simple blanks can be filled.

There have been questions, why being the foremost, as how some one can really ignore truth that is absolutely staring at them. Sailor never understood why.

Somebody who knew so much about the ways of the world, chose to blot out any argument to demonstrate the truth.

But this isn't about them; it is about Sailor. He knows. And things are clear; crystal.

It is strange to a have a 'House'-like epiphany. There has been one. Case solved. No more phone calls.

This makes no sense to most readers. For some, if they happen to read Kafka Cafe, this is the story.

Don't make Sailor a part of your already murky fake world.

Life is a bitch after all. You were wrong, Sailor was right and he gets to say "I told you so" but now it doesn't seem so. Maybe the game extended beyond the truth.

This probably will be written about again, with more obscure references and there ll be a part 1 and part 2 etc like a fast and the furious movie.

The first one was good. fast cars and all, then came up with a sequel. The cars were driven a bit faster, a lot faster- courtesy Nitro. Then came three, the cars were fast and the roads were small so they went up buildings...in Tokyo and they 'drifted'. Who knows what 4 was about it , it just zipped past and now there is a 'fast five'. Sailor's not here.

In other things, when Sailor wrote the first post for Kafka cafe, he dreamed of being a 'Micheal Crichton'. He has ended up as a Che Guevara getting rapped on the knuckles for refusing to eat supper.

Yawn!

Sailor will go back to reading blogs.

The truth is out there.
Somethings are just not meant to be

So much for 200.

The light of Earendil amongst other things

2011-03-20T23:37:00.001+05:30

Summer is back and so are power cuts. Power cuts hadnt totally vanished; they were only waiting round the corner.
Anyway, thanks to MICU and other such work related things, Sailor is keeping odd hours. On one fine day (or night, for He doesn't know what comes when), Sailor woke up to bathe. It was dark and there was no electricity. Damn! The bathroom chappals go missing at such moments.
Reach out for the mobile phone, and viola "lord said, let there be light"
What is the first thing that comes Sailor's mind? These lines from the LOTR
"I give you the light of Elendil, our most beloved star. May it be a light
for you in dark places, when all other lights go out."
It doesnt matter if the dark place be the loo, but the torch in Sailor's phone is funny. The bulb is next to the camera lens. One is used to 'pointing' a torch light at the darkness, but this is like a whole new breed of light. More over, it doesnt have a switch or a button. The space bar of the qwerty keypad serves as the button. You press it long enough to say, "let there be....light" and there is light, which shows and few ugly roaches making a run for the nearest dark corner. "Fly, you fools"
Two stamps of feet and a couple of splattered remains of roaches later, Sailor is Aragon the brave.
So, is this about LOTR nostalgia? Nay, Sailor's got new phone. Those swanky new things which can do many things; no, it isnt a droid, but It is still cool. It has a single letter and a single digit number.
Look at Sailor gushing over it like a school boy with a new Gizmo
It has a batman wallpaper and every time the phone rings, The joker's picture flashes up. Kya cool hai hum
Also, every time a certain some one calls, Poison Ivy pops up, Lame, but satisfyingly so.
In between saving lives, there is time for one short race - NFS. vROOM, vROOM, - SAVE LIFE - vROOOM, VROOM
and then you hear, some death metal heavy rock 'could be called' music.
Yeah, that's the Ring tone
And that wasnt enough, there is a note in the phone, which is The Sailor's last will and testament.
Considering, the place where Sailor works, it is but natural for anyone to make a will and testament. No, Sailor doesnt work in Libya, nor is it because of the moon or the Japanese Tsunami,
It is just this place where the Sailor works. It is like that only.

The Pied Piper

2011-02-24T18:47:00.000+05:30

The beginning of the 21^st century saw a remarkable rise in health consciousness. Recent pandemics of designer viruses and bugs paved way for stringent policies on public health. The focus of action saw a paradigm shift from treatment to prevention. In such a setting, pest control gained stupendous importance. Government offices created portfolios and ministries for pest control and extermination. Money was poured in by the millions into research directed towards pest control. The age old adage, “prevention is better than cure” had found a new purpose.

A fairly well to do country in the East was on a warpath. The government was leaving no stone unturned to look for various forms of pests and cost effective ways of exterminating them. They had eliminated rodents but there were sporadic reports of large rats found roaming the sewers. So much was the frenzy to eliminate rats was that there was a bounty placed on each rodent killed. It made front page news when, when such kill was made. There were many self- styled bounty hunters who would go after the rats. Some did it for the money and some just for the pride

During this time, on an ordinary day, an airship touched down on the runway of the airport. The lading was smooth and the flight attendant wished all the passengers a warm good afternoon and hoped they had a comfortable flight. A young man, probably in his late thirties, sporting slight stubble, clutched his brief case and walked towards the exit. He smiled in acknowledgment of the flight attendant’s greeting. She instantly warmed up.

At the emigration check, all his documents were in perfect order. The security just pstted on his well tailored suit just to make sure there was nothing contraband. As a part of the protocol, he was asked to sign a document of declaration, regarding his baggage. He just smiled and looked at the document. A particular question caught his eye. ‘Are you carrying any livestock?” The man just looked at the security and customs official, then checked ‘no’ as the response to the question and smiled. “Have a nice day sir, hope you have a pleasant stay” the customs man said and ushered him towards the exit.

The young man walked across the airport aisle and picked up a shabby looking bag from the luggage area. He hailed a taxi and said the name of a prominent hotel.

The following week, a leading daily reported a sudden increase in the number of rodents in and around the airport area. Soon, all leading dailies were reporting ‘sightings’ of this new pestilence. The WHO which was ever alert issued a warning notice.

Larger the number of rodents sighted, the higher was the risk for business. The leaders of the country, called for an emergency meeting. Businesses were suffering because of the WHO directive. The stocks would soon crash as well. In a business minded country like theirs, stocks couldn’t crash, at least not because of rodents. The government would be the first to perish. The government came up with a new offer; any one who could come up with a fool proof solution would be suitably rewarded. They were on the look out for a Pied Piper.

Two days after the notice had been circulated, the young man walked into the long corridor which housed the ministry of pest control. The initial crowd of people with proposals of ideas was dying down. He walked straight to the secretary and requested in flawless English for an appointment with the minister himself.

The minister met after seven hours. “I want to give you a demonstration. I don’t have tall claims but I have here a chemical which will immediately cause the death of most of the rodents in the vicinity.” The minister squinted.

“Yes, you may have heard this story many times now, but all I ask is a demonstration, if you will be kind enough to allow it”

The minister agreed. The young man sprayed a chemical in a nearby manhole and said “I will meet you with a document report tomorrow”

The next day, the daily chronicle reported a hundred odd dead rodents in that very area chosen by the young man. The minister was impressed. The results couldn’t be ignored. When the young man came calling, he was immediately granted an audience. “You have seen, Sir, how good I am with what I am doing. I will assure that this has the power to kill more rodents when sprayed in the right areas. How ever, since we don’t really know the population of this infestation, I will set myself a target. 500 rodents in 2 days and 1 million dollars transferred to my account. You can have the compound after that. I have not bothered to patent it” he said.

The minister lifted the phone to call the prime minister. A few conferences and many phone calls later, he agreed. The mission would be classified as top secret and very less people would know about it. The young man agreed and passed across the table an account number. Money transfer occurred with in a manner of minutes. “You‘ll have your rodents in 2 days” he said and walked out as confidently as he had walked in.

He locked himself up in his hotel room. 2 hours later, he checked out of his hotel. Just before leaving he asked for a favour from the concierge. He requested for a neatly wrapped parcel to be sent to the addressee, 2 days after his departure. The tip that he left was considerable.

Two days later, hundreds of rodents were reported dead in all leading dailies. The minister’s office received an elaborately packed parcel. The minister immediately understood and sent it to the R&D department. Last heard, the scientists were still trying to figure out what the compound was and how it could be administered.

A week later, on a beach in a nearby nation, a beautiful woman clad in a bikini and a sarong walked to a shack carrying a pair of cocktails. Anyone familiar would recognize her as the flight attendant from a well known airline. “Here’s your drink; now you can tell me your story” she said handing out the glass to man lying prone on the sand under the shade.

The man turned around and smiled. It was the same Pied Piper.

“When there is no problem, create the problem. Create a problem that you can solve. We planted the rats there. Each of them genetically engineered to die in 15 days; apoptosis it is called. I knocked out a few enzymes, and viola, I set them on a biological time bomb”

“Surely you didn’t carry all those rats on my plane?” she asked. “Of course I did, honey, they weren’t born; I just carried them aboard in an embryonic stage. Your customs official didn’t even ask me why I was carrying 5 cans of shaving foam for a15 day business trip” “all I needed was mother rat, I bought one at the pet store. They procreate like mad”

“And the compound you said you gave them?”

He laughed. “That’s plain coke. Nobody has still figured out the secret formula”

Coming to terms

2011-02-13T17:44:00.001+05:30

It is six months since I saw daylight at 12 in the afternoon.
I'm not whining, I am just a busy medicine resident.
So people ask me, what I am doing now that I am a doctor and all.
So I say, I am a resident.
Some people are polite. They just say "oh, verrry nice" with a face that says " what ever the hell that it, I hope you know how to check my BP"
Some uncles and aunties who know a little bit, that dangerous little that can spoil things, venture out to ask, "you are not doing any PG?"
"Yes, general medicine" I say; damn the British influence.
"Oh, in general? Verrry nice , we need more general practitioners these days you know"
face palm
There are times and situations when I can't keep my mouth shut.
"no, no. I am specializing in medicine? general medicine,internal medicine"
The worst I've heard - "arrey betaa tu ne to pehle bhi maedikal hi kiya na? pass nahi hua kya? back tha kya kuch?"
or some people say "which one man? general or internal?"
2 incisors bared sheepishly, "they're both the same. One is Brit and the other is American way"
"you are going to America?"
Sorry, I ignore that question.
because there is a more 'laudable' question "Are you doing MD?"
" no DNB". I say , dreading the next few questions.
3...2....1 wait for it
"diplomaaah??"
"No, actually it is short for diplomate of national board"
"That only! diplomaaah!"
The spectrum of abuses which encompass various permutations and combinations of anatomical parts and a few vernaculars, that cross my mind are but natural.
"no, no it is equivalent to an MD, only I will be doing it in a private hospital."
This goes back to the "oh" with the countenance, I only hope you are not an animal doctor.
The next time this person calls up and asks, "beta I am sneezing phram maarning, what to do?"
I am definitely going to say, "Unkil, say your prayers, you have mind cancer"

Rules that we obey

2011-01-28T21:09:00.000+05:30

So there is a new rule.
Apparently I have to obey it.
There is more joy in breaking the rule and getting blasted for it.
I am on this island where each man is a master and each a slave.
Most follow a God some dont.
There a rules and and more rules.
The trajectory angle of one's pee stream is governed by a draconian rule. "excuse me sir, but you are pissing on your legs" "no" comes a stern reply -"follow the rules"
The traffic policeman diverted the traffic because his son's litlle pet dog had dandruff and it was an emergency.
Emergency is a priority. That's the new rule.
Food is for the garrulous; they need it for the talk. They melt everyone with their talk.
I am not supposed to have life. That's a rule. I break this rule with joy.
If you can't get what you want, cry foul. IPL startegy - hip hip hurrah, mumbai indians.
I am in pain. The roots of my teeth have been ground to pulp by an iron probe.
Where is morphine when you need some?
All I have is hunger, 'cos I cant eat anything for 2 hours.
Rules.
Jane, I belong in your arms.

2011-01-15T21:13:00.000+05:30

I will not consume alcohol
I will not consume alcohol
I will nt consume alcohol
I will n co hic sume alcohol
I will n hic consume alcohol
hic
I will alcohol n ot hic consume

I hic hic will hic consume alcohol
I will consume alcohol

Apparently there should be no negatives in life

200

2010-12-28T11:29:00.000+05:30

Hail Rahul Dravid
200 catches
the slip cordon is a place where the wall extends to

2010

2010-12-26T22:12:00.002+05:30

It has been a decade

since they said the computers will crash though they didn't
since I got out of school with big dreams and here I am still gone nowhere
since many other things that I thought would happen and didn't happen

What sad way to begin a year ending post!

Just about 17 posts back I had written 2009. That's how many posts I've blogged this year.

This year things that I thought would happen, didn't happen and things that I didn't think happened.

Murphy 's axiom as it is now called.

I have had to say too many good-byes this year.

good bye to grand-ma

good bye to romance

good bye to academic conquests

good bye to many good friends

good bye to 34

good bye to good times.

There was an island of good times, isolated from the big bad world, I had hoped it was Never-land, but it was not to be.

The people there were great, it was good to be there but then good things never last.

As the President says, it is all a cycle. They'll come back

January saw dreams being shattered again.

February was all about saying good bye to Grand-ma; I think she made us stronger

March bore the brunt of the January and February.

April began with another good-bye. Good byes are always sad , but this one was a bolt from the blue. The reasons were/are flimsy and the thoughts thereafter have been banished to District 9.

May, June and July were awesome. A new workplace, fantastic times and purely awesome people.

Cheers to M3 for all the good times. The many trips to bring 'food from outside' on duty days and the trips to koshys; and of course, Big SHO and Double Apple- for the little that matters, you made my year.

July suddenly changed to August with a new work place.- a haunted house in contrast to the happy place I came from.

September, October, November and December just flew by. Life has been busy.

BUT flip-side; I now live in a penthouse and i can afford it. (a house on the terrace, thought it may just be a one bedroom- toilet house on the terrace of a single floored house, is still a penthouse.)

other things, I saw only 2 new movies - Karthik calling Karthik and Inception.

I read many books.

Changed from Vodafone to Airtel

wore formal clothes for 7 months straight!

I can afford Tuborg

WHEW! I wonder if a dinosaur could crap this much.

Cheers to a year which will not let itself be forgotten

And A DECADE OF GROWING UP WHEN I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO

Shout Outs to my favorite people

President, for the lazy weekends and everything
Monolith, MAN -U forever
K man, for re-kindling the Amygdala story line
Big SHO and Double Apple, when's the big treat?
M3 and 'Momma'
Earthquake, good ol' bro
Irene Adler , you'll always be the one
Aswath, best of luck
Inane, for so overtly hitting on me; it feels good
Savita, Tarun, Siva, Nags, Jag, Sumanth, Vishwa and the rest of the hospital people

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Drink up me hearties, Yo ho

My December

2010-12-04T00:08:00.000+05:30

It is, isn't it? December already? It is. It is
The month of the year when people party lots; lose weight so that they can look good and gain it back with the liters of alcohol they 'd be downing over the year end and then make new year resolution to lose all that weight. 999 rupees 99 paise only.
A book gave me a wild idea. All these years I ve been a silent chap. I will continue to be so.People dont change.
What I ll do is, every time some one asks me a question, I am going to tell lies; defnitely not the 'Johnny Johnny yes papa' kind of lies.
but the lies has to be creative, so you'll know i m lying but you ll not know where it is that i am lying.
What say you? bring on the true lies..

Cough Syrup

2010-11-21T23:44:00.000+05:30

Hey Life Bitch
You think you can deprive me of my sleep, may be you can.
Apparently one can't buy happiness
But I have ultimate antidote to your poisonous ways.
AND I can buy it.
COUGH SYRUP.
bring it on and I ll brew you a codeine cocktail.

Freeze

2010-11-14T21:27:00.000+05:30

"Freeze"

No response

"Freeze"

No response again.

"Freeze" said Sailor with latter part of the word dragged on. He shook his wrist-watch furiously.

No amount of commanding or coaxing would stop the those hands from ticking. Thin lines of green , glowing in the dark.

Wish one could stop time.

It isn't because it is an awesome moment in life ; only that when these minutes tick and tomorrow will be closer than ever. They even made a movie out of it - Tomorrow never dies.

True. It never does.

Sailor gave up trying to stop time.

Colin Todhunter writes in his article, In pursuit of happiness, published in one of the newspapers, "A friend once encouraged me to read Paulo Coelho's book The Alchemist. He told me it was an absolute must-read and it would change my life. After such a marvelous build-up, I just had to get hold of a copy. Carrying it back from the shop, I thought about what a fantastic book this must be. It will change my life. It will send me into ecstasy. It will be the best read ever. Sliced bread was a world beating invention, but this would surely knock even that into second place.

I read it, hated it and felt more than a little cheated after having finished it. In fact rather than making me happy, it left me feeling rather confused and even angry - how on earth could anyone like such childlike preposterous meanderings ( sorry to all those Alchemist fans).

Wow. That just echoes what Sailor wants to say about that book.

Books, yeah, The annual book fair is on. It is in its 8th consecutive year.

Sailor has been there every single year

Highly recommended if you like books.If you don't have money to buy, just go and get a whiff of the books. It is healthy.

The Holmes Moment

2010-10-31T21:15:00.000+05:30

Most actions are unexplained. The universe is vast beyond all imagination. We don't question what we dont understand mostly because it taxes our brain to think.
Amidst a series of unexplained complex partially inexplicable behavior, Sailor managed to the ask the question "why". A certain someone who is no one in the republic of the Stygian Sailor , was behaving odd.
Though an overt simple explanation was not feasible, a small inquiry in to motive of such a behavior was warranted.
Facebook provided the answer.
"thou art cursed for thine liver to be eaten "
Makes no sense, does it?
It didn't to Sailor either. He just realized it on a passing moment when he looked the the calender.
Long live Sherlock Holmes.

4 years

2010-10-24T10:14:00.000+05:30

I didn't realise it.

Kafka Cafe is 4 years old.
I didn't even realize it.
Much has changed after all.
Though it is still the Stygian Sailor, It is more of I and me and less of the third person. Heck no , I don't have multiple personalities. I think I am growing up and I don't like it.
Need to find Neverland.

There is a need to get out of this place. This place is new. Every new step taken is hundred steps away from what I grown up with.
This is Travel as I know it and this is my travelogue.
Kafka Cafe

2010-10-24T09:56:00.000+05:30

Apparently I 'am in the grievance committee for residents. ahahahaahahahahahahahahahah
really???
he who cribs the most shall lend a patient ear to the miseries of his kin
Probably they didn't realize I will also be the cause for more of their grieving
why do I hear wicked laughter?