kaitididwhat2

Happy New Year

2012-01-12T17:09:00.000-05:00

So, it is a new year and one of my many New Year's Resolutions is to blog more. However I am also finishing my college career (for now and hopefully forever) in May. Therefore I will probably not be blogging as much as I want to but hopefully it will be more often than once every 6 months. Last year I started off doing really good and then it jsut kind of faded away.

Another New Year's Resolution is to get to the gym more often. I want nothing more than to tone up before the wedding. You can follow my progress on here, instagram and twitter :)

What are some of your New Year's Resolutions? How have you been doing with them? Are you still going strong?!

.. coming back ?! ..

2011-07-22T00:28:00.000-04:00

I have been incredibly busy with summer classes and have not had much time for the blogging world. Which makes me very sad because I was doing very good, blogging everyday and then I just quit. I hope to get back into the swing of things soon. For now I just wanted to say hello! Drop a comment and let me know how you all are doing, I miss you!

.. renovation ..

2011-03-13T01:05:00.000-05:00

As you can tell my blog is all kinds of messed up right now. I really want to blog about our trip to Chicago and our ENGAGEMENT! However this is driving me crazy and it needs to be taken care of quickly. Sorry for the inconvenience hopefully it will be fixed soon!

.. Is That a Lot? ..

2011-03-09T01:35:00.000-05:00

My dad wrote this about a year ago and it really meant a lot to me. So, I wanted to share it with you.

Is That a Lot?

By Anthony Johnston

After a lifetime of learning, from kindergarten to college, boot camp to 14 overseas military deployments including three tours in Iraq, I should not have been surprised to be reminded that not all learning - or teaching - is done in a classroom.

I drove down the road with my son, listening to the news and talking about life. Of course the 'surge' in Afghanistan has received a lot of coverage, and arm-chair quarterbacks debated our two wars. A little later on in the newscast they talked about death tolls, the decline in Iraq and the increase that was anticipated for Afghanistan. That was when my 12 year old son Jack got serious.

He asked about the people that had died in Iraq and Afghanistan. He asked about the ones that I had known personally, and then he added them up. I knew it was 4380 killed in Iraq and guessed around 1000 (at the time) killed in Afghanistan and he came up with 5380 dead Americans.

Then he hit me with a question I may never be able to competently answer.

He said, "Dad, is that a lot?"

It took me a moment to recover enough to fumble for something that would pass as an answer. The next few minutes are still a little hazy to me. But in the meantime several thoughts bounced around in my mind.

I remembered that about 20,000 US service members were killed in a couple months in the Battle of the Bulge, and that we lost an average of 600 Americans every single day in the Civil War, I also thought about the 400,000 that gave their lives in the World War Two - 1450 of them on D-Day alone. I thought about the nearly 3000 killed in the Chosin Reservoir in two weeks during the coldest Korean winter on record back 1950, and the 52,000 men and women who gave the ultimate sacrifice in Vietnam.

But before you think me a hawk, or try to guess where I'm going with this, let me say that I've held onto the hand of a young Marine, as heroic medics and doctors fought in vain to save his life. I looked at his 19 year old face and wondered who he was, and what he could have become? These days I speak regularly with his family and I know as much about him as I know about my own nephew who served with me there. I know that he had a girlfriend and that he wanted to be a chef, together they wanted to start a family and open a restaurant. I know that his mother was a Native American and that had great influence on his life, and his culinary skills, and that she had recently died. I realize-as much as a stranger can-that he had so much to offer and that the hole left where his life once was will never be filled.

I've seen the faces of dead young men while working in the hospital in Iraq, and they all stay with me every day, (and more nights than I'd care to think about.) I remember, as I documented and packed the belongings of one young man, wondering where his dad would be when he got the news? I thought about his reaction later when his sons' personal effects arrived at their home? I envisioned his dad viciously tearing apart the package that we had carefully prepared looking for that picture of the two of them at the lake, or the Saint Christopher medal that I had folded into a sheet of paper that contained my feeble words of sympathy and my dried tears.

I've also witnessed firsthand the carnage of the innocents caught between the forces of good and evil. I've seen entire Iraqi families killed by insurgents, their penalty for believing that we could help them to live free. I worked with a young girl who was the lone survivor of another attempted family execution and still to this day think of the mental anguish and physical pain she lives with- if she is still alive?

I've also seen the physical and emotional aftermath of combat in the faces of some young men and women I've met during my own 18 month treatment at the VA. Our arguing only serves to further isolate them from what they most desperately need - the support of the American people.

I believe that despite all the rhetoric, we are fighting for freedom for the Iraqi and Afghan people and the suppression of those thoroughly committed to terrorize us. There isn't much middle ground in the War on Terrorism. When our enemies are committed to our annihilation as a Nation there isn't much room for discussion.

Civil War General William T Sherman supposedly coined the phrase "War is Hell." He is also credited with "War is cruel and you cannot refine it" and "War at best is barbarism." I say he was an optimist. I believe that for each "Nuke 'em till they glow" there is an opposing "Make peace, not war" and in the end, like almost every other subject ever debated, the truth or the solution probably falls somewhere in between?

I have a great friend and mentor who is a doctor, we both root for Notre Dame, we both enjoy a good cigar and we have had occasion to sit down over a cold beer and talk about life. But we are polar opposites on many things like war and politics. We have had great exchanges over the years, we respect each other's opinions and in the end, we always walk away friends. Why we can't, as a Nation, do the same is beyond me.

But for now, we are where we are and the lack of sacrifice in these current wars - at least for the great majority of our Nation, contributes in my humble opinion, to the disconnect between both sides.

So as much as I believe in what we are doing, I also understand and appreciate those who disagree. For I have seen firsthand what war can do to your soul.

I awkwardly tried to put all these emotions into words; I tried to explain to my son that if he, or one of his sisters, were one of those 5,380 lost lives that I just can't imagine that sacrifice. I stumbled around the conversation awhile longer. I talked about the historical references a little more and the personal losses I've witnessed and finally just decided to drop it. I thought that maybe when he was older he may be more prepared to try to understand what cannot be understood.

Then he asked what I would do if it was him? I told him I didn't want to talk about it anymore.

And I pray to God each day that we never have to know the answer to the last question.

"5,380 lost lives….yes Jack, that is a lot."

.. frustrated ..

2011-03-08T01:02:00.000-05:00

There have been some times recently when I really neeeded the blogging world to lean on. Whether it was my parents trip to San Antonio, the vote NO campaign, just some advice, a day that's really difficult for me or some blog lovin.

I think I blog sometimes for the wrong reason, just to fill space or something to occupy my time and keep me from studying. Then there are the times, mentioned before, when I could really use some help and I feel like no one is there.

What am I doing wrong ?!

I try not to complain too much, I try to keep things light and fun to read with pictures and funny quotes, etc...

Any advice or is this another post that will go unread ?!

I know that it shouldn't matter but who doesn't love to read a nice comment ?! To know that they are talking to someone other than themselves !?

.. VOTE NO ..

2011-03-07T12:34:00.001-05:00

My dad discovered that there was some bill passed that is going to cut or take away the benefits for Children of Disabled American Veterans. This is something that helps pay college tuition for kids of Disabled Veterans. My sister and I will not be affected by this however my brother is quite a bit younger than us and it will most likely affect him.

PLEASE vote NO here for the Jack Johnston (by the way I got some love for this post about my brother, you should definately read it, I think I might just copy and paste it bellow too) goes to college with military benefits fund. Military people, wives, husbands, kids, grandparents, family friends, etc ... please vote because this could some day affect you and your children as well. You can also join the facebook group here.

Here is the post for my brother .. It looks long but a lot of it is pictures :)

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 17, 2009

Jack Johnston **

I have not been blogging much lately, because I have been exceptionally busy && I don't always know what to say to keep people interested. So, I have finally decided to blog a little bit about my brother .. hopefully you will learn to enjoy him as much as I do :)

Jack is 11 years old and he was born when I was 9 & 1/2. Growing up I was a very responsible young lady and my parents trusted me to watch their two children, when they went out for dinner or to run short errands, etc .. At the time Alexandria (I will blog about her some other time) was 6 & 1/2 and Jack was a newborn.

Jack && me at Bandido's !

I think that since he and I are so far apart in age, that he was more of a son to me (not literally, but we never argued or anything like that && my parents were always around. I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea about this.) I was always there to help, whether it was to feed him, change diapers or put him to bed. I loved helping out!

My dad is in the Air National Guard and when he would go on trips I would help my mom out by getting Jack to and from practices and games, when she had to work. Since he started playing sports, I could probably count on two hands the games that I have missed .. and this includes the past year and a half when I have lived across town. I drive 20 minutes at least twice a week to cheer him on.

During the spring && summer he plays baseball. He currently bats 4thin line up .. which is awesome .. but he is also in a batting slump .. so I don't know how he is keeping his position! He is a great catcher, he isn't so into pitching, but they need him to .. so we try to get him more into it .. it is an insane amount of pressure on a young man though .. all those people saying, "Common Jack, just relax." or "Jack just throw strikes." Have you ever tried to 'just throw strikes'? Let me tell you .. not as easy as it looks. But he is getting better! And when he is not pitching or catching, he plays short stop.

This picture is from last year, but you get point !

Last summer Jack && I went to Cedar Point for the day. We got up on an overcast Tuesday morning at 7 and made the 3 hour drive. PERFECT day ! It only sprinkled once around lunch time, so we went out to the car to eat the lunches that we had packed. I was exhausted, so he sat there while I took a 20 minute power nap, because I had to drive us home that night, and it was sprinkling so we couldn't ride rides anyways. THen we went back and we rode EVERY roller coaster that we wanted to, with minimal waits! It was quite possibly one of the best days ever :)

Jack && me on a roller coaster .. they wound up stopping the

ride && walking over to tell me I couldn't have my camera out :/

Totally worth it though !

This was the line for the Millenium Force aka NO LINE ! It was so crazy !

In the fall Jack plays football, FINALLY ! I have been waiting since the day he was born for him to play football ! I love it so much ! Last year he was in 5th grade && played quarter back for the 6th grade team ! Very exciting ! He also played other positions && played both offense && defense, since it is such a young team, they are trying to figure out what everyone is good at. I think he enjoys football so much, because he never had anyone to rough house with && now he does.

Jack is number 7 with the white cleats .

Such a bad ass !

And finally, in the winter Jack plays basketball. He usually plays in the forward position, but has been known to play both center and guard as well. I think he really likes basketball the best, but I really hope he keeps up with the other two .. (I like them the most!)

Robert (11), Jack (12), Jonathon, cousin, (21), Seth, best friend (24)

I also took him snowboarding last year .. but somehow all of those pictures have disappeared except for one .. and it's not even of him boarding :( But he really liked that too ! We went down the black diamond at this particular park (which is in Ohio, so it is really just a big hill), but we went down that on our 4th trip down maybe, and he wiped out and took out a caution sign .. he was fine .. so it is now okay to laugh .. but I was afraid for my life!

Warming up by the fire :)

Finally, like a good sister, I like to show Jack, what not to do .. My boyfriend, Jason and his former roommates work with my dad .. so for one of their birthdays he stopped by the party with my brother .. like any good sister, I let him play beer pong .. relax he just drank mountain dew ! but now he will be somewhat prepared for what the future holds !

See, Mountain Dew !

All in all my brother Jack is an amazing young man && I would never even consider trading him for anything else in the entire world ! I love having him call me at 1 am during the summer, because he knows that I will be up too ! Just to talk, even though I saw him today. Or when he calls me to remind me that he has a game, "But,Kaiti you don't have to come to these." I love him so much and would so absolutely anything just for him.

.. Jason's 24th Birthday ..

2011-03-06T23:28:00.000-05:00

Today is Jason's 24th birthday! He had drill this weekend and there was a conflict with going out next weekend :( So, we went to dinner last night at Smokey Bones and then Jason went out to a local bar with his friends. I won't get into that. This was us before dinner. We never go out and get "dressed up" so this was fun for us!

This was our dessert .. YUM !

And these are the cutest shoes ! I am in LOVE !

Jason and I planned our trip to Chicago a couple weeks ago and we are leaving this week! We are taking the train and we are pretty excited about that alone. We know we want to go to museums and The Navy Pier, etc... I have been to Chicago several times (mostly when I was younger). What is your favorite thing in Chicago that we shouldn't miss out on ?!

.. Silly Thoughts Saturday 2 ..

2011-03-05T12:00:00.001-05:00

Week 2 of Silly Thoughts Saturday, get excited!

Why do we sometimes say that we are in a pickle or jam when we are in a sticky situation? Wouldn't being in peanut butter be a better comparison?
   - One of the great questions in life.

When people spill anything on themselves why do they always treat it like acid?
   - I thought this was funny but then I thought we act that way because what we spill is usually very hot or very cold. So it really makes sense.

Why do we say 'Oh I knew that' when someone informs us of something we didn't know before?
   - I am so guilty of doing this, I hate looking dumb. Which this probably doesn't make me look any better but I feel like it helps!

Why do some people have to 'shudder' to think? Does thinking make you cold?
   - Again, SO guilty of doing this and thinking about it makes me think of Dane Cook. The one with the accident when everyone is outside and its the middle of summer but everyone is 'shuddering' when talking to one another.

Why as humans, when we see a flock of birds go over head, do we look up at them with an open mouth?
   - Who hasn't done this ?!

Hope this made you laugh .. Have a good weekend!

.. tanning ..

2011-03-04T19:39:00.000-05:00

Today I went tanning for the first time in over a year (in a tanning bed). When I tan in the sun I always wear sunscreen, I am so afraid of getting skin cancer. I was talking to my mom the other day about how great vitamin D is for us and since it hasn't been very sunny here I thought some artificial sun might help a bit. I plan on going every other day for 10 - 15 minutes. Hopefully I don't get addicted!

Do you tan in a tanning bed? How long? How often?

.. the abc's of me ..

2011-03-03T22:19:00.000-05:00

So. I found this on Lauren's blog and I loved it and now I am 'stealing' it!

(A) Age: 22

(B) Bed Size: Queen

(C) Chore You Hate: Sweeping at the house I clean because they have new carpet and one of those 2 part vacuums where you have to pull it, it's so hard to sweep there. I'd rather clean toilets.

(D) Dogs? One, Miss Raven

(E) Essential Start Your Day Item: I always have to wash my face and brush my teeth. It helps to wake me up too.

(F) Favorite Color: Purple

(G) Gold or Silver? Silver

(H) Height: 5'8

(I) Instruments You Play: I do know how to play the recorder but it stops there.

(J) Job Title: Waitress to ungrateful people / gym teacher / student

(K) Kids: Zero

(L) Live: Indiana

(M) Mom's Name: Marilyn
(N) Nicknames: Kaiti from most and Jason calls me Thine Bumpus and some other random things I can't recall right now.

(O) Overnight Hospital Stays? I spent 12 days in the hospital when I was a sophomore in high school from a collapsed lung. (7 days in ICU and 5 days in a pediatrics room because I was only 15)

(P) Pet Peeve: Unfortunately quite a few; spelling mistakes (but I suck at grammar .. ironic), when people are rude and common sense things (that people don't know).

(Q) Quote from a Movie: Too many to count

(R) Right or Left Handed? Right

(S) Siblings: A sister Alexandria and a brother Jack

(T) Time You Wake Up? I always sleep til like 11 because I am up so late. Insomnia is a bitch.

(U) Underwear: I hate underwear lines, so I wear thongs.
(V) Vegetable You Dislike: Olives

(W) What Makes You Run Late: My desire to sleep late (if it's a morning thing) and my boyfriend. I never used to be late anywhere and all of the sudden I am (not always) but I blame it on him.

(X) X-Rays You've Had Done: Quite a few on my back/chest (everyday I was in the hospital I got x-rays) and some other times I am sure.

(Y) Yummy Food You Make: Tuna Noodle Casserole

(Z) Zoo, Favorite Animal: Not a big zoo person but I really like deer and tigers. HATE birds; they scare me!

.. wordless wedensday ..

2011-03-02T11:51:00.001-05:00

What am I ready for ..

38°F

Feels Like: 30°

.. What it is .

.. survey answers ..

2011-03-01T22:10:00.000-05:00

1) Asia
2) blue six point star
3) true
4) Jerusalem
5) mediterranean sea

Thank you Karen for responding ! I appreciate it ! :)

.. survey ..

2011-02-28T16:14:00.000-05:00

This is a survey for a presentation about Israel. I would love for you to comment and answer. I'll list the right answers later or tomorrow. Thanks so much for your help!

1) What continent is Israel located on?
A. Asia
B. Europe
C. South America
D. Africa

2) what is in the middle of the Israeli flag?
A. Red cross
B. Red circle
C. Blue six point star
D. White moon and star

3. T or F : Israel has 2 official languages

4. Which is the capital of israel?
A. Ashdod
B. Jerusalem
C. Tel-avid
D. Haifa

5. Which middle eastern sea borders Israel?
A. Mediterranean sea
B. Red sea
C. Black sea
D. Caspian sea

.. 2 years ago today ..

2011-02-27T02:18:00.000-05:00

Two years ago today one of the greatest men ever was taken away to be with his wife, my grandma and one of the greatest women ever. Gosh I feel like it's been so much longer than that and I don't know why, because at the same time I feel like it was JUST yesterday. I think about both of them often and I would give anything to spend just one more day with them. I wrote this post two months after he passed away on my old blog and I would like to share it with you again today.

MONDAY, APRIL 27, 2009

Grandpa Jim **

About 2 months ago, on Wednesday February 25th, around midnight, my grandpa Jim (my mom's dad) was taken to Lutheran Hospital by an ambulance.

The following day, I received a call from my dad .. telling me what had happened the night before and that my grandpa was not doing so great .. I may want to come up that day and see him. I told my dad that I would be there after classes that day, I had an accounting test that I needed to take.

Around 3:00 my sister Alex called me. She informed me that grandpa Jim was doing worse and she was headed up to see him right then. So, I met her at Lutheran (and had my friend Angie tell my professor that I would not be there for the test).

We got there at the same time and walked into a completely somber room .. together.

In the room was my mom (daughter), dad, aunt Lisa (daughter), aunt Karen (daughter), uncle Eric, aunt Roselyn, uncle Jim(son), and uncle Tone (son). My aunt Amy was in the hallway, we had passed her on our way in, she was on the phone with my aunt Deb (daughter), in Texas.

My grandpa just laid in the hospital bed, he could no longer speak and barely moved at all.

After being there for a little while .. (not sure of times, it is still a big blur) and nurses coming in and out checking his vitals .. my grandpa opened his eyes .. which he had not done yet .. and began shaking ..

Now, I had never seen a seizure before, but I was pretty sure that's what was happening (it was). We got a nurse to come in and she put something in his IV to prevent him from having any more seizures.

Let me tell you, I come from a fairly strong family.

I have only seen my mom cry, maybe 3 times in my whole life. And one of those times was when her mother, Ruth, passed from colon cancer .. more about that some other day. My dad has been coming and going overseas with the Air National Guard, since 2 weeks after I was born and even before they were married, and she never shows/showed any negative emotion. Same with the rest of my family, the only time I have seen them sad was when my grandma Ruth, their mom, passed.

And there was not a dry eye in the room.

Before my sister and I left that night, around 9:00, we both went up to my grandpa and held his hands. They were incredibly warm, actually they were incredibly hot. But we sat there and took turns talking to him and trying ease the tension and moods for my mom and her sisters. (Everyone else had either gone home to be with their children or went to get something to eat at the cafeteria). We both said good bye and kissed him good night on the forehead.

This was the 26th of February and my lease was up on the 28th. So, I was in the process of moving all my things over these couple days.

On Friday, the 27th, I went up to the hospital around noon. I was there for about 3 or 4 hours and I told everyone I would be back later that evening, I had some moving to get done. I kissed my grandpa Jim on the forehead and said good bye. Then took a load of my stuff to my new house, went back to my apartment and filled my car up again.

On my way over to my house again, at 7:15, I got the worst call of my life. It was my brother Jack ..

Jack: Kaiti, grandpa's dying, I got to go.

Me: Wait, what?

Jack: He's dying right now, we are on the way to the hospital.

Me: Okay, I will meet you there.

I took off like a bat out of hell in the opposite direction, to Lutheran Hospital. Of course, I got stuck behind slow drivers, but everything happens for a reason.

I called my Alex immediately and let her know what was going on (she was at Austin's, her boyfriends last basketball game). She asked me if she should come up, I told her it was up to her. He would probably already be gone by the time she made it out there and she didn't want to see him how we had the day before.

I got to the hospital and ran up to the room. And there stood my mom, hunched over the hospital bed, staring at him and crying, and saying that it was not fair.

(My mom had been at the hospital since Wednesday night and had left at 6:30 to go home and shower, change her clothes and come back up for the night and next however long. All her sisters and brothers had taken their turns going home and doing the same. Granite my uncle Jim was at his sons basketball game, but everyone else was there when he passed. She got the call not 2 seconds after she got home, walked in the door and put her purse down. My dad had lit candles for her and drew her a hot bath, so she could hopefully relax and take her mind off things for a bit. So they blew the candles out and took off, back to the hospital.)

Jack was the only one there who was younger than me, and Jessica was the only other grand kid up there at the time. She is 3 years older than me. The rest was my aunts and uncles, my aunt Deb was on the phone.

We all just sat there in disbelief, most of us cried. My dad tried to ease the tension, by talking about what a wonderful person my grandpa Jim was.

It was quite possibly one of the worst nights of my life.

So, today marks 2 months, since he has been gone, and I still feel like I am in a horrible dream, that will not stop.

I think about him every single day and usually cry about the memories a couple times a week. People say I just need to accept it and move on, but I am not sure just how I am supposed to do that.

My grandpa Jim, was one of the strongest people I knew. And with that, we were are not a family to ever really hug or say I love you. But when I went to see him I always gave him a hug good bye and very seldom said I love you.

I sent him cards, on every holiday, baked him desserts, and spent as much time with him as I could .. whenever I did not have something 'better' to do. And let me tell you that is not easy to type, but it is the truth. I regret nothing more then being too 'busy' to go spend time with him.

I love you grandpa .. and I will never forget you .. ever.

.. silly thoughts saturday ..

2011-02-26T00:57:00.000-05:00

I have come up with a weekly idea for Saturdays and it is 'Silly thoughts Saturday'. Who doesn't enjoy a good laugh?! I am sure that many of you have heard these but if you are like me you laugh everytime anyway!

~ Why do people point at their wrist while asking for the time? I know where MY watch is where's yours? Do I point at my eyes when I ask you to look at something? Do I point at my crotch when I ask you where the bathroom is?

- I heard this when I was in grade school and it is my favorite by far!

~ Why do people always say 'drive carefully'? How are you supposed to drive? Recklessly?

- I think this is just a parent thing. My parents say it EVERY time I leave their house.

~ Why do we ask to 'borrow' a kleenex? Has anyone ever returned a kleenex they borrowed?

- You know you are guilty of asking this!

~ Why is it that when you point out the fact to two people that they resemble each other they both resent it?

- When I started dating Jason he said wow you and your mom are just alike and we both went, ugh. lol We love each other and looking at it now I can see where he finds us very similar but we like to think we are different.

~ Why do we say that things are always in the last place we looked? Who actually keeps looking for something after they've found it?

- This is another one I heard in grade school and I always thought wow, I can't believe I didn't think of this earlier!

. K .

.. ideas ..

2011-02-25T01:27:00.000-05:00

I need to come up with something to blog about on a weekly basis.

Some people do lists, some do recipes, some do pictures, etc ...

I want to do something that brings readers to my blog if for no other reason than to view my 'weekly' post. Any thought, suggestions, opinions ?!

I would really love some input.

What do *YOU* like to read about ?!

.. Abra's Etsy Shop ..

2011-02-24T15:46:00.000-05:00

Have you all met Abra?! Abra is the mom of two beaustiful little girls and she just recently started making skirts, headbands and hair clips. Which are all just absolutely aborable! I will give you a little peek of what she has in her Etsy shop. You can special order skirts in different sizes and patterns and they are sold at a great price!

So, do me a favor and stop by her cute shop and get something for your daughter or neice.

And have a great day!

.. sick day ..

2011-02-23T18:39:00.000-05:00

You all read about my headaches, if you didn't you can do so at the link, this weekend. I went to bed last night around 130. I worked until 1130 by the time I got home and showered it was 1230. Then Jason and I watched Parenthood, a newer tv series that we are just in love with. If you haven't seen it yet, do yourself a favor and watch it. Anyway by the time I got to bed it was about 130 and to be honest I don't think that I slept at all. I was supposed to clean a house this morning and at 645 I was more than wide awake with a sore throat. I called the lady and her husband answered I apologized but said that I would not be able to clean today. I called my mom (she was at work) and she said to just sleep on the couch and rest. (I love my mom).

I was supposed to meet my group for a meeting about our presentation but I haven't moved. I skipped both of my classes and have watched tv all day. I am exhausted right now and looking forward to sleeping tonight. Most likely on the couch because apparently the bed isn't working for me.

I am really hoping that I get better soon. I have a test on Friday and a paper due on Sunday. I need to read for both. I tried a little bit ago but can't stay focused at all.

.. vote please ..

2011-02-22T13:32:00.000-05:00

My friend Morgan, over at mamalovespapa on twitter and her blog, is having a giveaway! The giveaway is an ADORABLE headband! If you follow this link it will take you straight to the post. You will need to follow a link on her page to vote (only 2 clicks once you are at her page plus the one from here so ONLY 3 clicks). Feel free to follow her on twitter and follow her blog as well. Her kids are just adorable and she wears the cutest clothes! Her blog posts are fun and entertaining .. don't miss out!

.. tweet tweet ..

2011-02-21T19:18:00.001-05:00

I found this idea through a Google link and it is to list some tweets that I have marked as favorites and explain why I chose them. I loved this idea because I don't “favorite” tweets often, only the ones that really stand out to me.

"Always give without remembering, and always receive without forgetting." ~ Brian Tracy

I honestly believe that this is a great way to live life. Never try to keep score of what you do for others and what you get in return.

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it'll annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.” ~ Unknown

Being a waitress can be extremely trying at times and I always try to think about this. Kill them with kindness!

“The most important thing that a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” ~ Theodore M. Hesburgh

My dad was the best at doing this. My parents hardly ever show affection to one another in front of us but they love each other through everything, even the really bad times.

“Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.” ~ Unknown

When I got a new job this past fall my boss said, leave your troubles on the trouble tree. Everyone has his or her own problems and no one cares about yours.

Which I like to think is different in the blogging world. I try not to complain often in my blog but sometimes we just need to vent and the readers have the option to not read/listen to our problems.

“Don't let the sadness of your past and the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present.” ~ Unknown

This is a rule to live by. It could not be truer.

It is hard to do but totally worth it.

“There are two rules for living in harmony.

#1) Don’t sweat the small stuff

#2) It’s all small stuff.”

~Wayne Dyer

We learned about this in my stress and wellness class this semester and it’s so true. Again it’s not always easy to follow but very beneficial to loving your life.

“In the alphabet "o" stands for opportunity, which is absent in 'yesterday', available once in 'Today' and thrice in 'Tomorrow'. Be positive!” ~ Unknown

Love, love, love this.

I hope you enjoy the quotes as much as I do.

Gives us something to think about.

.. headaches ..

2011-02-20T23:01:00.000-05:00

I have always had an issue with headaches, technically they are neck aches. I always assume that they are stress induced and try to keep myself relatively calm. Not very easy though. On Wednesday this week I had one start so I took an ibuprofen and went on with my day. I hate taking pain meds so I always try to suffer through them. On Thursday it was still there so after my brothers basketball game we went to Wal-Mart and I got some extra strength Tylenol. I took one and we got in the hot tub. I took a shower then went to bed and I felt okay. Friday I had to teach and then work (waitress) very stressful day. My headache/neck ache was pretty bad so I took 1 Tylenol early in the day then one before bed. Over these days I would also heat and ice my neck and sit in my massage chair. Nothing seemed to really help.

Saturday was really bad for some reason. Jack had a game and I went to that. I took a Tylenol while I was there (close game, very tense). Then went to Wal-Mart with my dad, debating on whether or not to tell him about my dream, which I didn't and haven't yet. Came home and watched tv and just tried to relax. Jason came home and we decided to see 'Just Go With It' (very good we both loved it). Well we got there at the last minute and had to sit at the end in the very first row. Did not help my neck situation.

We came home and I couldn't take it anymore. Jason started to rub it and I just started bawling. I called my parents and asked what I should do, my dad said he had some pain pills from his headaches and I could take one of those and we could get in the hot tub. (He had called our family doctor and he said that's the same things he would have called in for me.) I had contemplated going to the emergency room but thought I was just freaking out. Maybe I should sleep on it and see how it goes in the morning. I couldn't go to my parents and I was even afraid to go to the er at that time because the thought of traveling made me nervous.

I called my doctor at home after my dad talked to him (best doctor ever) and he asked me some questions. Said it was probably just muscle spasms but he would call in a prescription for a muscle relaxor. He asked if I had taken anything and I said, "I have taken 3 Tylenol in the past 4 days." and he laughed at me. He said, "Kaitlin, you know you can take 8-10 of those a day." I said, "I know but I hate taking meds."

Jason went to Walgreens at 11 and got my prescription for me and a heat patch to stick on my neck. When he got home I took one and went to bed. He slept on the couch so I could have the whole bed (so nice!). I woke up this morning around 5 to a text from my mom at 4:17 am asking if I was awake. I was so tired I didn't text her back. Talked to her later today and she said I had a dream that I was crying so she called to check on me, how sweet is that?!

Jason called my mom this morning to say that I couldn't work and asked if she would let my boss know. They really helped me out a lot today. Jason talked to my parents last night because I was crying and then sleeping, he really helped a lot. He got up and went grocery shopping this morning then suggested we go out and see my family since my parents were gone last week. Very nice. We spent a couple hours out there and it was very relaxing.

Now I am sitting at home and I feel okay, kind of nervous that it will come back. If it comes back I am going to go get x-rays to see if I have something more serious wrong. Praying it goes away.

.. dreaming ..

2011-02-19T17:28:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning sobbing, not something that happens everyday. Before I begin I should say that I have a horrible fear of losing my parents. Probably because of everything going on with my dad and this traumatic brain injury.

I was having a dream about my dad flying a jet. (He is in the Air Force but he is in avionics, not flying so that was kind of weird.) I was at a party and my dad was flying over the party doing all kinds of tricks. It was near the end so he made the wings of the jet go back and forth to say 'goodbye', the end. Then he flipped the jet upside down and flew across with it like that. Then out of nowhere it just crashed.

All of the sudden I was at the base and I took off running towards the accident. It seemed to be a drill weekend because there was a bunch of people there. These guys kept trying to hold me back and they said, "Kaitlin, this is not something that you want to see" and I kept saying, "Please I have to go, please let me go".

I finally get to the accident and my dad and the jet are gone and I am in a little room with all of his things. (My dad has a ton of things from his past, all kinds of neat treasures that have been passed down) In the room there was stuff from his racing days, important coins and just random things. I started ripping all of the pictures down and trying to take everything that I could. I knew that my dad was gone and I didn't want someone else to go through his things.

Then my dad was there and he started talking to me. He said things like, Kaiti it's going to be okay. I am fine and you guys will be fine. Don't spend time thinking about this you just need to move on with your life. These things aren't what's important but I want you all to have them. etc... Then my uncle appeared and he said it's crazy to think that all you have been through and a freak jet accident is what took you. we all sat there and agreed that is was weird. Then another one of my uncles appeared and he had letters that he had written to his kids and that his kids had written to him and he said, You know what Tony, we never had a relationship like you have with your kids. The things that you guys say to each other and the things you guys do together, we don't have those kinds of memories.

And I woke up in tears. I was rolling back and forth across my bed and I was sad.

My brother had a game this morning. When I got there I went over and told my mom my dream and I started crying again. She said, "Kaitlin, you should write that down. When I had the dream about my dad I didn't write it down and I couldn't tell anyone because it hurt so much and now I can't remember exactly what he said." (My mom has lost both of her parents in the past 5 years and she really struggled with it. She had a dream a few months ago where her dad came to her and said, "Mar, you have had time to grieve but it's time to move on. We don't want you to spend your life thinking and missing us. We are here and in a better place where we are both healthy and we love it.")

So I wrote it down and I cried again while typing it.

.. Day 9 ..

2011-02-18T22:51:00.000-05:00

My parents came home today.

The tests are complete.

Now we patiently wait results.

I am not sure when those will be coming but they should be here soon.

Thanks to everyone for all of the prayers and nice things said.

We really appreciate it.

I will post more when I know what's going on.

I taught today from 12-3.

Then I worked from 4-10.

I am home now watching The Jersey Shore with Jason.

So tired.

Jack has a game in the morning.

Championship game.

Hopefully they win!

.. day 8 ..

2011-02-17T13:33:00.000-05:00

Well today is the last day of testing. I texted my parents yesterday and they hadn't heard anything. Dad was in testing all day but no appointments for anyone to tell him anything, today will be the same. He is tired and ready to come home. Hopefully we will have *answers* soon after this weekend. I wish I had more to share, fingers crossed for next week!

Jack has his first tournament game tonight. Hopefully he gets to play (I don't like to brag, but it's not about myself so brag on. lol). Jack is a fairly good football and basketball player. Where he gets his talent from, none of us are really sure, but we LOVE it! This year they haven't gone up against many tough competitors so they basically let their 2nd string play all year. Which is nice for those kids but for the ones going off to high school next year, it was kind of a waste :/ Jack still has another year and hopefully they will play better teams then!

As for me, I have the sliding door open and it is a breezy 54*, I love it. Please don't go away nice weather!

** .. the reason for all of the days/ day 7 ..**

2011-02-16T13:32:00.000-05:00

I wrote this post long ago when we were in the 'beginning' stages of the TBI process. This post is to help those of you following our story and praying to know better what it is you are praying for. Yes it has been nearly 5 years since the beginning and we are hopefully getting the answers we need this week. Thanks again for everyone praying.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 2, 2009

A Post For My Dad **

In 2006 my dad was injured in Iraq, he was working on an f-16 and the wing came down and hit him on the top of the head. Which has since lead to horrible back and neck pain, brain issues, and some memory loss. In the beginning I didn't think that it was too bad, but over the past couple months he has been going to appointments to meet with a neurologist, a speech therapist, and a couple more that I don't remember. He has had multiple tests done, including an EEG, a CT scan, an MRI and several others. For the most part I am the one taking him to and from appointments, because my schedule is the least conflicting and easiest to switch around.

In July he went and spoke to a group of people at a church. After he left he was driving home and he began feeling very weird (he said it was like he spun around 100 times and then stood still). He pulled over, waited for it to stop then went home. When we were on our way to Las Vegas he had the same thing happen again while we were waiting in line to figure out whether we were going to make it on the flight or not. He turned gray and his eyes were very weird and he just acted really odd. We ended up not making it on that flight and we got switched to a different gate. Dad said that he would not be able to walk, so we got him a wheelchair and when we got to the new gate the lady that pushed him had him sign this thing, that was like signing for a package, and his hand could not grab the stylist. It seemed like he had just had a stroke. I was immediately freaking out, he called his speech therapist and she told him to go to the VA in Chicago, but our flight was in 20 minutes and he refused to go. So, we went to Vegas and everything was fine and dandy. He told me he has had one more incident since then and that was in the garage at their house.

If he doesn’t write things down, he simply forgets what it is that ne needs to do and sometimes even say. For example, if he’s trying to recall a recent event, he’ll try to describe it then just say, “oh yah know, whatever, it doesn’t matter.” He does this, like all the time. You may not think it sounds bad, or that I might be exaggerating, but I am not.

Last week I decided to make him a schedule with what everyone was would be doing for the next month, practices, games, work, school, and whatever else I thought he might need a reminder of.

On Monday, he emailed me, and I decided that now was the time to bring up how much worse I think he has gotten recently. I am too much of a chicken shit to talk to him in person, so email seemed like a reasonable idea. I told him that as I know things are so tough for him, things are getting tougher for us now too. He constantly asks us where we are going, what we are doing, etc. even if he just asked us 15 minutes ago, he forgets some things that quickly. Which is why I made the calendar, but I think that maybe this whole traumatic brain injury may be worse than any of us think.

So, I suggested to him that my whole family go visit his neurologist or speech therapist, someone who could help us better understand what’s going on and what else we can do to make things easier for him. I haven’t heard if he has gotten a response yet, but I am hoping that they can come up with something to help us out soon. I really wish they could just figure out what the hell it is that is wrong, and fix it.

However, that is not happening right now, no matter how hard we are trying. So, I guess right now, I am just asking for your prayers for my dad and patience for my family. I know that we don’t make it as easy as we should for him, but we have never had to deal with anything like this before.

kaitididwhat2

*Happy New Year*

** .. coming back ?! .. **

**.. renovation ..**

**.. Is That a Lot? ..**

**.. frustrated ..**

**.. VOTE NO ..**

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 17, 2009

Jack Johnston **

**.. Jason's 24th Birthday ..**

**.. Silly Thoughts Saturday 2 ..**

**.. tanning ..**

**.. the abc's of me ..**

**.. wordless wedensday ..**

**.. survey answers ..**

**.. survey ..**

**.. 2 years ago today ..**