Kaleidoscope Your Life

New Headboard

2010-08-18T17:09:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while I feel like painting. Now was one of those times. Here is a chronology of my new headboard for my apartment. enjoy : )

Day 1:

Day 2:

Day 3:

Day 4:

Day 5:

Day 6:

Here's some details : )

Restless Romance

2010-08-11T22:17:00.000-07:00

Let's become insomniacs together
trace the lines on the highway
capture life's moments without pause
freelance our names into fame
travel to every destination
write every word spoken
collect treasure and clocks
so we can protest the law of time.

Rambling

2010-06-30T20:21:00.000-07:00

Thumb tacks.
Tooth picks.
Incense burning.
Pony tricks.
An ever-fallen tree
Mosquito bites
From the way things used to be.
One hand in,
While one hand’s out.
Your lip curls
Into a bitter pout.
Is this forever?
Or is it not?
An everending trail
Of all we have forgot.
Starry eyed.
One shed tear.
A broken memory
Of all that was clear.

Fallsberg

2010-06-02T17:23:00.000-07:00

In order to orient myself in the summer season, I visited my favorite place in this world- Fallsberg Park. Nothing is better than overanalysing the little things in life and capturing them for others to overanalyze as well : )

Thawing

2010-05-04T06:45:00.001-07:00

Like a sponge soaking up every drop of sage
In turn, splattering pigments never witnessed by the eye
Furnishing the once blinding carpet
Adorning the once barren mirror
Blossoming and blooming
From every street corner
Window
Acre

A kaleidoscope
As though the fogged window was cracked open
Allowing that fresh breeze to let itself inside
No need for knocking
Wiping its feet on the mat
And sitting down for a chat

Everything is a newborn
Life breathed into it at the dawn of day
And all I can survey is the landscape
Like a pinhole
Being colored inside the lines right before my eyes

Nature, oh brilliant panorama
Parenting this succession
This renewal
Rebirth
Not only nature’s seed
Yielding hope

Faint smiles emerging
Laughter echoing
Bodies clutching the stubble of the earth
Planting themselves firmly in the fertile ground
Squints becoming gentle meandering rivers
As alien sunglasses mount the nose
Birds returning home
Pouring out pacifying lullabies into all the crevices of decay

This awakening
Repainting the canvas
Outlining the forgotten shapes
This jade miracle
Arrives right when we need it most

Realization

2010-02-28T07:19:00.000-08:00

Everything in my life is centered around lists. There seems no greater feeling than crossing off a lingering item on one of my many lists. I see no shame in this habit, except for the fact that I realized it's not only little tasks that I wish not to forget, it leaks into the way I live. I have these checkpoints set up in my mind on how I want my life to work. I have to finish college, get a job, get an internship, get married, ect.... it's never ending. This cyclical process, or maybe more linear, does give me something to look forward to, however it also damages the excitement in living. I never seem to be living mentally in the present. The present is just a task I need to fufill in order to move on to another task, or memory, or moment. I never allow myself to fully engage in the present moment. All these pretty colored post-it notes are invading my life and I need to claim it back! I must make the promise to myself to not worry and dwell on the future, but to take part in what is before my eyes. I need to live and love and linger in the moment.

Stop Pretending You're a Fisherman

2010-02-25T19:29:00.000-08:00

I can feel the current rush
cold and alive next to my body
The colors down here are so alien
amazing, undescribable
My pores open and accept the floating
and weightless power
My lungs can take a break
I am free and alive
alone and ready to venture
and then,
I feel a tug
a harsh pull
a painful tear at my skin
The scenery begins to spin backwards
I am in reverse
I am captured
no longer free
Your painful and repeditive hook
is back
either I fight
or you win
either way, this is messy
leave me alone
to swim in this serene place
and you can go hook someone
else
please?

Into The Hands of Mrs. Grass

2010-02-23T06:39:00.000-08:00

I will keep braiding my hair
In three flawless sections
Until my innocence
My childhood existence
Floods back
Until I am embraced by the warm hands of Mrs. Grass
And igloos
And forest forts
Lined with one layer thick of bricks
And prank-phone calls
And chasing the geese down the beach
Out of breath
Gasping for air
Gasping for the future
But now all I want is my blonde hair
And crooked teeth
And big blue eyes
Taking in everything with eagerness
Ready to grow up
Now all I want is my miniature hands
With fingers I had to grow into
And toes all dirty from never wearing shoes
Gravel and dirt under my nails
Chicken-pox
And bubble baths
With my plastic Noah’s Arc
Floating and tumbling in the waves of foam
Hand in hand with my mother
Creating music with a spoon
With underwear on my head
And a big feather
With a heart ready for anybody
And everybody
Creativity spilling out my naïve head
All around
Creating pools of imagination which reached my ankles
Now all I want is to drown in that pool
Let it rinse my aging mind
Refresh it
Give it hope again
And love
And a youthful spirit
So let’s go back in time
Let’s just keep braiding my hair
Tighter and tighter
In three flawless sections

Dreamland

2010-02-22T09:38:00.000-08:00

I met them all in dreamland
A foggy town
Sometimes colorful
But always perfectly clear
Always startling
Awake in a panic
Never able to fall back
But their words
Their voices
True to tone
Always ringing in my ears
Silk curtains
Iced tea
It was brown
Rusting jewelry
beaded dreamcatcher
roasting fire
heavy eyes
And seeing them
Meeting them
Makes everything better
Makes everything real
Even though it’s far from
But I’ll take what I can get
I’ll take dreamland.

Realization

2010-01-10T16:19:00.000-08:00

For the first time in a long time I actually took the time to stop and look in awe at the stars. The black canvas adorned with indescribable jewels was blanketing my yard, and for a second, I felt like I couldn't see enough of it. I wanted to see every star and had the urge to reach out and grab them. The thing I realized is, sometimes it's impossible to capture the whole picture, no matter how beautiful. Sometimes you need to just take what you can get and not take it for granted.

Weightless

2009-11-05T08:52:00.000-08:00

I want to leap
I want to freefall
I want to find what it means to defy the laws of gravity
And take back what’s mine.
I want to detach myself from this polluted world
And feel weightless
Worriless
I want to jump out of my muddled mind
And into the hands of the clouds
Into the hands of those radiant raindrops
Falling like kaleidoscopes
Over the destructed cities
I want to land
Into another place
Does this make any sense?
It’s not an analogy of darkness
It’s one of freedom
Freedom from all these ties with bound my weary limbs
Freedom from shackles of my responsibilities and thoughts
And relationships
Relationships which hurt all over
And relationships which I know cannot sustain
I want to fly
With my eyes watering from the blustery wind
Across the ocean
And look down to see an endless array of blue
Which shouldn’t be blue
I want to dive into that azure chaos
And swim to the bottom until my legs will not allow it
I want to grasp seaweed
Hold me down
Down below with the colors
With the gentle sand
I want to run
So far and so fast my heart makes a melodious tune
Which drowns out my racing thoughts
And leaves a perpetual ringing in my ears
I want to sprint to the ends of the earth until my shoelaces come undone
And sit underneath a willow tree
Sobbing with sweat
I want to scream my name
Over the canyons
And let the world know I exist
That I exist on planet earth
That I am an entity
And then I want to sleep
Until my mind muddles reality and imaginations
Until I think everything is how I envision it
Until I’m immobile and free
Until I realize I could be
Something that I never will be
Until I understand the consequences
And make sense of the next day
And the next day
And the next life
And never have to sweat again
Until the day that I want to leap