Kaply, Inc.

DESTROYER OF WORLDS

Kaply — Mon, 20 May 2013 00:12:11 +0000

I’m seriously behind on posting, I know, and I think it’s just that I have my hands full with the shit going on in my life, and I don’t know how to write about a lot of it without sounding whiny.
The truth is that I am freaked out most of the time. Most of my stuff is sold but not all of it has been paid for, and money is a constant worry, anyway.
Actually, worry is kind of my baseline what with the anxiety disorder and all. Even though this move is what I want, and I am happy about it, I am also so anxious that I am practically eating Ativan and Seroquel like fucking tic tacs.
That is not always helpful.
Also, I have alternately been at the mercy of my hay fever and my antihistamine for a few weeks now. Bastards.
So I will try to be better, but since I keep freaking out about the same shit over and over, it may get a little more boring than usual around here. Apologies in advance.

I really have no patience most of the time.

Kaply — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 01:24:59 +0000

*sigh*
So two days ago, approximately a month after I gave them written notice that I would be moving out at the end of May, my landlord’s management came to me and said, hey, by the way, your lease isn’t up until the end of June. You have to stay.

And then my head exploded.

I checked with the Housing Authority. They said I had to stay.

And so I am now staying until the end of June. It doesn’t change much, it really is only a matter of time, it’s just a wee bit frustrating.

So I am watching Hellboy, because there is nothing so soothing as paranormal hi jinks and Nazi defeat.

I had dim sum with Kevin today. We are very dim sum compatible.

Kaply — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 22:18:03 +0000

Ok, I’ll just get it out: I am completely terrified that the end of May will arrive and I will not have enough money to rent the car and get down to Joshua Tree. There.

*sigh*

In the meantime, I am continuing to purge and pack.

I have this bubble fairy. It was a gift from my step sisters. When my stepmother, whom I was quite fond of, died, her huge collection of figurines were inherited by her three daughters. There were four of these bubble fairies, one for each season, I think. They each took one and sent one to me. It’s called Harvest, and was made in 1991. It is apparently a limited edition or some such, by Jessica De Stefano, whoever she is.
It is exceedingly ugly. But it meant a lot that they included me, so I kept it all these years. But now I am going to sell it, since I found its certificate of authenticity, which makes it a bit more valuable.

Also, we have discovered that Kato is afraid of the sound of packing tape, the weirdo.

Crowded House reminds me of you, Jonesy, for some reason.

Kaply — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 02:48:34 +0000

You never know which chance meeting will be the one in which you meet your friends. I went to a blogger meet up and that’s where I met Sizzle for the first time.

Now there are very few people who are as different from me as Sizz. She is persistent and organized, a perpetual motion machine in a stylish covering, a dazzling entertainment and party organizer. She and Hotness are entirely responsible for the fact that I have a celebratory birthday supper each year.

Sizzle just overwhelms me with love and acceptance. I have spent many a Christmas Eve with her and her family, I have eaten her baked goods (not a euphemism) and have accepted the fact that I am now known far and wide as Kap as a direct result of her calling me that.

She is a woman of intelligence and style, of striving and effort. She is funny and sweet and I have always considered myself blessed that she chose to be my friend.

She is a lot like my family, the closest thing I have to a sister, and this year I got to celebrate her wedding to her own personal Mr Darcy.

So today is the birthday of this amazing woman, and I would like to take this opportunity to wish her a many happy returns of the day, in Eeyore fashion, and tell her that my 40′s were head and shoulders above my 30′s and probably my 20′s, if I remembered more of them. I love you, Jonesy.

I was a raging asshole before therapy, but I’m ok with that now.

Kaply — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 05:15:29 +0000

I have been coveting this tote for the better part of a year. It’s so enthusiastically sunny and bright, I keep going back over and over to look at it. I know the dimensions are there, but I have no idea what size it is, because when you start talking in inches and yards and feet and such, I must tell you that I do not speak your crazy moon language.
…………………………………………………….
Some fuckers were stupid enough to set off two bombs in Boston. People were killed, one an 8 year old.
The bombers may have already realized that there was an error in their calculations. You don’t fuck with a city that has made it’s rep by being obstreperous, revenge oriented and both those things for longer than this country has even existed. Boston holds a fucking grudge.
…………………………………………………….
I have been fighting with my occipital neuropathy for the past week. This body is fucking done, man. They were able to grow a rat kidney in a lab, I can hop for new nerves in my head. PLUS maybe I’ll be able shoot fire out of my eyes.

If I agreed with you, then we would both be wrong.

Kaply — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 21:16:59 +0000

I am packing up the remains of my life and posting them to my parents. I am fairly sure this will be less expensive than renting a truck. I would totally fly but Kato is an elderly cat, and a terrible traveler and so he is considered a very poor risk for sedation or flight. I can’t help but think that him howling for three hours at the top of his lungs will not be found acceptable by the other travelers.
So a car it is, and Bev Kaply and my dad have gotten cuter and cuter as they try to help me by researching doctors and going to the housing authority to see if they need to sign me up for services. It’s nice that they are so excited that I will be moving so close. We haven’t lived within 30 mins of each other in about 20 years, and I am as excited as they are, although probably less demonstrative about it, on account of MOVING MY WHOLE LIFE and stuff.
I am also concerned about leaving Grant homeless. I can only tell myself it’s bound to work out. I’d sacrifice a chicken, but Grant is allergic.
I ordered cat food and cleaning stuff from Amazon that has apparently disappeared into the ether along with my money. If it doesn’t show up soon, I am gonna have a fucking fit. For serious.
Anyway, I have to do dialysis, because apparently I will die without it, blah blah blah.

I would like a slice of your wicked justice pie, chum.

Kaply — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 04:40:59 +0000

One of the weird miracles of my life is how nice people are to me. Total strangers will smile and talk to me in the market, on the street, in the lobby of my building. People are just generally nice to me.
And I am more and more grateful for that with each passing day.
As I try to figure out the logistics of this move, I am getting so much help and support. Grant has been a lifesaver, he cleaned out all my kitchen cupboards, bought me mac and cheese and that isn’t even the least of it. Sizzle brought me boxes and took my four huge bags of donate-able goods to some charity.
I have sold most of the stuff I own, to people who are making payments, which means I can still use the stuff until I leave. Win-win.
I am trying to find a way to get my stuff down to California and get myself down there with the cat. I think I may end up mailing most of my stuff and I have checked out renting a car ( EXPENSIVE) taking the train( not much cheaper) and a flight is out since you can’t ship a cat that late in the season. GAH.
Turning that shit right over. And did I mention how much I love my Mystery Sneakers? Because I love them with the burning passion of a thousand white hot suns.

Happy birthday, Cheryl Klein!

Kaply — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 17:16:32 +0000

I am in the process of getting a migraine so this is gonna be quick.
My friend, Cheryl, is a fantastic writer, a generous person and an all around good egg. I love her dearly, and today is her birthday. You, my seven loyal readers, should go to her blog and wish her many happy returns of the day.
Kato has devised a scheme where he meows at Grant until Grant gets off the couch and feeds him in the morning. Then Kato comes into the bedroom and meows at me and sits on me until I get out of bed. Then he continues to meow at me until I lay down on the couch, at which point, having achieved his objective, that damn cat curls up in my lap.
Bossy little bastard.
The moving plans continue apace. I have sold most of my stuff, despite the anxiety driven fear that no one would buy any of it and I would die, alone, in a ditch. So that’s a relief.
I also now have twenty years of sobriety, which is twenty years of me doing the bare minimum society expects of everyone else. But I continue to bitch about it.
Ok, off to the ice pack.

I have the irony AND the sarcasm.

Kaply — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 03:56:09 +0000

I am so tired of people who have jobs and health insurance and fairly good health talking trash about people who are on disability.
Most people get denied upon applying for disability at least once, oftentimes more. People who you might think were obviously disabled get refused.
And when you can’t work and you can’t get disability, you can’t pay rent or avail yourself of any other programs. You are, in the vernacular, fucked.
And then some jerk who has a job and a place to live and food to eat starts talking about how people on disability are cheats and liars and I suddenly want to stab people indiscriminatly.
Check your facts, people. Social Security Disabilinis not a welfare program, it’s a government run insurance program that each of us pays into every paycheck.
I worked from the time I was 13 until I was 30. I was just about to re-enter the workplace when my kidneys failed. It was hard to transition to not working, and the way that society views people like me didn’t help.
I have paid into this program. It is not a handout. And you can keep your fucking opinion of that to yourself, thank you.

ALL HAIL THE UNBEARABLE HOTNESSS ON THIS, THE DAY OF HIS BIRTH

Kaply — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 16:13:39 +0000

Today is my best friend’s birthday, and you all know him as the Unbearable Hotness Of Robert, or Hotness, for short.
We met when we both moved to Seattle, and I liked him immediately. He is sartorially resplendent at all times, with his bow ties and such, he has forgotten more about music than I ever knew, and is invariably able to maintain his calm in the face of, well, me.
He is funny, sharp and smart. Very, very smart. Fathead has crowned him The Driest Motherfucker In Seattle, and Hotness definitely earns it.
Hotness is the one who keeps this blog running, keeps me from throwing recalcitrant electronics out the window, and prevents me from wearing orange.
In short, I love him dearly, am grateful I met him and know that I am all the better for having him in my life.
Many happy returns of the day, Hotness.