kareyisms

Health Insurance (part 1)

2021-01-27T13:29:00.000-08:00

We are going to veer from my previous posts and start writing about something that I hope can help others.

PLEASE GET EDUCATED ABOUT YOUR HEALTH INSURANCE! If you are lucky enough to have health insurance through your employer, KNOW your benefits. Everyone should know what Insurance company they have, what their deductible and copays are and if you don't, find out. If you have family members covered, make sure they know as well. I have worked with medical insurance for 30 years now. I have seen changes in the industry many times over. For the past 4-6 years I have said that we have finally hit an era that makes it impossible to predict what the next year will hold in terms of coverage.

Please understand that this blog is in NO way a political statement. I will let you know my viewpoint from someone who BILLS and collects from health insurance companies and works with patients who are and are not covered.

I offer a unique point of view in that I am not selling any particular insurance and am not skewed by any kickbacks.

If you work with an insurance agent to get health coverage, have them show you several plans with benefits and premiums listed. Compare apples to apples.

We should start with some definitions in layman's terms:

Network: Many insurance companies belong to a 'network' of doctors and facilities so that they can negotiate what they will pay for services.

Allowable: This is the amount that an insurance or network has agreed to pay for a particular service. If you are seeing a physician who is in your insurance network, they cannot bill you for any amounts over the Allowable.

Deductible: This is the amount you will pay (Usually each calendar year) before your insurance pays anything.

Copayment: This is the amount you pay when you receive medical services.

*This can be an office visit copay, a facility (hospital or surgery center) copay, radiology copay, laboratory copay, etc.

*Some insurance companies require copayments for EACH service. Eg, if you go to a doctors office and have an xray, you may have two copays.

Coinsurance: This is the amount you are responsible for after your insurance pays their amount. (This is typically a percentage of the allowable amount.)

I am available for questions or assistance with your particular coverage if you need me. Watch for more blogs with general information and hopefully some key insights into health insurance.

2020-04-21T05:14:00.000-07:00

Haven't written in a while. Funny how cathartic it is. When my world was spinning, writing kept me grounded. Gave me a focus if only for a short time. I felt the blank page calling to me this morning. Weird morning. So many random thoughts and people shuffling through my gray matter. I found myself thinking of the people who aren't with us right now...my dad, my Wyndy, my grandma. I miss them so very much. This particular time of self-isolation would have been nearly impossible for my dad. He didn't sit still very well.

And in this time of isolation and quarantine, I worry about the folks who already suffer and struggle with depression and anxiety. I find myself staring down that hole and having to climb out of it at times. I, like so many, am struggling to find some meaning in these crazy times. I have been fortunate to keep my job and go to it daily. But running a doctors office brings me more risk of exposure to the virus. I have friends who have been laid off, both in the hospitality industry and not. I also have friends who are doing all they can for their community, in feeding the masses and/or donating what they can. I have friends who are healthcare workers, police officers, fire rescue, and front liners. I have a few friends who have battled this virus personally and won.

I saw a post recently about how we should stop saying we are all in the same boat. We are all battling the same storm but in very DIFFERENT boats. Some are working, some are not. Some are staying afloat and some are worried about sinking soon. Some are very outspoken about their boat and others are silent. Stop assuming that because we are in the same storm, your boat is just like mine. It isn't. Check on the people you haven't seen or heard from. A quick message may be just what they need to keep their boat afloat.

I am so thankful that my family has, thus far, stayed healthy and safe. I am worried about our world. I worry about the information we are fed and wonder if the information I find is true and accurate. I am tech-savvy enough to know where to look but still wonder....

Do not assume I write for attention or sympathy. I write because it helps me process.

If you are still reading, you are probably a very important person in my life and please know that I love you!

Happy on the inside

2018-12-19T10:59:00.000-08:00

I began writing this blog post 2 years ago. I had forgotten this very eye-opening discovery about myself. I haven't stopped being happy, just had forgotten to finish this post.

How do you measure success and failure? I had an epiphany of sorts this morning. Some have commended me on my parenting because I have a child who has graduated college and because I've tried to always put my children first. Perception isn't always reality. Yes, my children have been my world and I've done what I thought was best for them. I've been a single parent for nearly 14 years. Yes, I've done homework with them, I've pushed them to succeed in school, I've allowed and encouraged extra curricular activities, I've practiced and played with them and cheered them. But it occurred to me this morning that I've lived on the brink of failing them for years. I had given up...I stopped allowing myself to be happy outside of them. Now that I have opened myself to happiness and love, I have realized what I had stopped doing. I stopped caring about me and our home. Only a select few had been in my home in the past 8 or 9 years. I told myself I was lazy but it occurred to me this morning that it was far deeper than that. I just didn't care. Allowing myself to love and be loved has created in me a desire to take care of the things I was neglecting for years. And if this isn't abundantly clear, I am cooking and cleaning...willingly. I have been teased by family and friends as not being able to cook but truth is that I just stopped wanting to. I actually can cook and enjoy doing so.

I am, at heart, a realist and I've always liked to think that I knew my faults as well as anyone else but the truth is, there were some that I hadn't seen, or at least acknowledged. I have always preached to my family and friends to find their "happy". I just never took my own advice.

I am grateful for the man who cared enough to get me to care again. He's been my knight!

A Tale of Two Dads

2018-12-18T04:58:00.001-08:00

I've been one of the lucky ones. I had two fathers. One gave me life and the other gave me a home. The first wasn't ready for a child and the second CHOSE me. (He actually chose my mom, but we were a package deal and at least I wasn't a deal-breaker.) The home he made for us was a good one. We were well-provided for and I got two sisters out of it. I also got a really warped sense of humor. This year, in August, my biological father passed away unexpectedly but peacefully in his sleep. He set a few things in order for my benefit and I will be forever grateful. He and I hadn't had much of a relationship but we talked occasionally and I was glad to have him in my life.

In November, my dad went to the hospital with shortness of breath and was diagnosed with cirrhosis. He was 'asleep' from the high ammonia levels and encephalopathy that ensued and passed December 17. This is the man who raised me. He treated me as he did his biological daughters and was both tough and loving. Its his sense of humor that I have and so much of who I am is because of him.

The next week and few months will be the toughest I’ve ever had. My mom is phenomenally strong and i can’t imagine her heartache. Her support system is strong too and I know she’ll be ok. She will because she has to be. As I was in Virginia going through my fathers house after his passing and as we make the final arrangements for my dad now, I am reminded just how precarious life truly is. They both let me know in very different ways what I meant to them and I make sure my children, family, and friends know that I love them every chance I get!!

I can't explain the feeling of losing both the same year. I'd like to hibernate for about six months. I spend a lot of time worrying about everyone else....my mom, my sisters, my children, my aunts and uncles from both families, etc. I want to be strong for all of them because that's what I do and who I am. (I get that from my mom) I will be eternally grateful to each of them for the things in my life that each have given to me. I was incredibly blessed and lucky to have two dads!!

For (my) Wyndy

2016-12-20T12:17:00.000-08:00

Devastation. Grief. Heartbreak. Emptiness.
Friends. Support. Love.
How do you cope with the loss of someone so dear? Someone so close to your heart? Someone who left too soon?
So many memories being floated on facebook. So many words of both loss and encouragement and the good things she embodied.

And the special few. The few who knew they were her people...as she referred to us. She was a secret-keeper to many and we were hers. She could light up a room or blend into the background, whichever her mood dictated. She had no idea the enormous impact she had on SO many!! I wish she'd known. I pray she can see now. I can't help but think how lucky we were to have had her in our lives! I am a better person because I knew her!

She had a heart of gold....with a healthy dose of snark woven in. She would text me about something she had seen and how it cracked her up and often it was followed by, "Yes, I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy". I always snickered at that. She was ALL girl...from her cooking abilities to her quilt-making to her nurturing and caring nature.

She was my Sugar (and her daddy's) and I was her HB (Honey Badger). My grief and heartbreak cannot touch that of her family's, I am certain. I wish them peace. I offer condolences but know that it can't come close to helping. I hope they lean on and draw on their faith to help them through this. I'm leaning on my friends and vice versa. Friends I haven't seen in 20+ years but whom I will be forever connected to through our love of her.

We all know that grief is different for everyone and I've heard the term "selfish grief" mentioned. My grief is very selfish! I'm grieving for the times I WON'T get to visit with her or text her or have anymore homemade pickles. I'm grieving because of MY loss, not hers. I know her daddy was waiting for her with open arms and she'll still get to be called 'Sugar'! I am thankful she called me a friend. And I am thankful for the friends I can share memories of her with.

As the reality sinks in, I'll still think about the loss, the heartache, her family's pain....but I'm also beginning to feel the peace of HER. The love that she would so much want for us to feel FROM her, for her, and for each other.

Hell

2016-05-03T12:58:00.002-07:00

A.....Angst/Arbitrary thoughts/Awful feeling

N.....Nuisance/Not for the weak/Nerve wracking

X....eXpectations/eXcrutiating/eXcuses

I.....Intimidating/Illness/Inconvenience

E....Encumbrance/Exasperation/Exaggerated

T.....Tension/Terror/Trouble

Y....Y me/Yearn for end/Yay its over

The bad one

2015-03-15T15:57:00.001-07:00

I have a confession....and it's about Online dating. I am THAT girl...the one who guffaws at people when they talk about the 'dangers' of online dating. My response has always been, "it isn't any worse than meeting a guy in a bar. At least you have the chance to get to know them before meeting them." My confession is that I've never played it safe. I've never made sure someone knew where I was going when I met these guys or who I was meeting. But I'll preach to do so all day long. Well, I've learned my lesson...and thank goodness it wasn't any worse than it was. I received contact from a guy on a dating site...profile seemed decent...said he wasn't continuing his membership so could we text and sent his number. I texted and he immediately called. I didnt answer because it wasn't a convenient time to talk so he left a voice mail and texted too. I called back a little while later and we chatted for a bit. He was funny and flirty and asked if we could meet later. I agreed. Later came, we talked and picked a place and time. I was early, as usual. When he showed, he was cute but completely wasted. Sat next to me and wouldn't stop groping me. He tried several times to put my hand on his crotch, to no avail. Instincts said to get up and leave but I'm not one to be mean so I stayed and finished the beer I had. In doing so, it turns out he didn't drive (lucky for other motorists). Asked if I'd drive him home. I politely refused but, again, I relented and told him I would if he promised to keep his hands off me in the car. I dropped him near his home and was able to leave without incident. The scene at the restaurant, however, had already rattled me to my core. I've met guys only looking for one thing before...and I've generally known that's all it would be. This one caught me off-guard. I cannot adequately explain, in words, what the situation was truly like. As I over-analyze and lose sleep over it, I think the best explanation is not being in control. I, in essence, allowed him to be in control of the situation. And that may just be the root of my problem. I was cornered into a booth by a guy making very unwanted advances and I didn't stop him. I kept removing his hands from me and turning my head when he tried to kiss me but that just lead to him biting my neck, which I'm certain has bruises today. I am ashamed of myself for letting him continue as long as he did. I am ashamed of myself for putting myself in a situation like that. I got home okay and am none the worse for wear...but I believe my online dating days are over. I've deactivated my profiles and am sad to say that this may stay with me for some time. I feel like he dimmed my spirit just a tad. This all sounds so overly dramatic but I was the victim of date rape when I was 18 and didn't admit or realize it until just a few years ago. Back then, it wasn't a thing so coming to terms with it hasn't been easy. The lack of control of the situation is what the worst part is and that is what made tonight similar. He didn't rape me and we didnt have sex....but he sure did molest me right there in that booth in a restaurant...with people all around. I've always bragged that I'd never be a victim. "I'm stronger and more aware" "I'd never put myself in a situation to BE a victim" I don't get rattled easily...and I'm rattled.

kindness

2014-12-03T11:32:00.000-08:00

When did we become so callous as humans. What happened to just plain civility? Did we ever actually have any? People, other humans, have been persecuted and picked on for as long as there have been humans. Does that mean that, as humans, we are incapable of loving every other human? Why do we judge others? Why do we forego common courtesy for our fellow humans for the sake of our own comfort? My daughter tried telling me that in Germany, people are kinder and more considerate. And then it occurred to her that they may not be, only that she may not understand what they are saying to her. I think airlines should do away with reclining seats. The comfort of one person directly causes the discomfort of another. To what end?

Getting the opportunity to travel to other countries, see other cultures, interact on others 'turfs' for the first time in my lifetime really opened my eyes to the kind of person I want to be...or perhaps more accurately, the kind I DON'T want to be. I'm generally and genuinely happy being me. But I haven't conquered envy. Even as I write this, I'm envying the man in front of me who has so little regard for my leg room as to be able to lay his seat back mostly in my lap. I envy and pity his callousness. I will not put mine back...I want to think I'm a tad more considerate.

I hope I can hold onto this feeling of wanting to be more kind. More patient. A better person and nicer to all. And this hasn't just been a result of the plane ride. I noticed in my travels some of the small things we take for granted. Giving someone a random smile, a pleasant greeting, using please and thank you regularly, etc. Take the time any given day to notice if you do these things. Do you treat foreigners like complete idiots because they don't speak the same language? Random acts of kindness shouldn't have to be random and shouldn't need to be celebrated. Kindness should be our norm.

James Wyatt Lofton

2014-08-05T07:09:00.000-07:00

13 years ago today you entered my life and opened my eyes....to the wonderful world of boys!! I wouldn't trade it for the world! You have been a joy and a challenge. I love you with all of my heart and am so proud of the young man you are becoming!! Happy Birthday Wyatt!!

This is a re-post of the things I've learned as your mom:

Moms of boys are aware of certain truths:

1. Any reference to genitalia is hilarious.

2. Any sound of a bodily function is equally hilarious.

3. A story with mention of bodily functions is only topped by one with senseless violence.

4. If there is a way to get dirty doing something, they will find it.

5. If its at all possible to get it in a pocket, they can do that too.

6. If the street floods, its better than a pool!

7. Any article of clothing that has been on their body is now stinky.

8. Lego's hurt badly when stepped on in the dark.

9. When they start dressing themselves, re-folding the clothes they AREN'T wearing becomes a daily chore.

10. Girls become interesting far earlier than mom is ready for them to.

11. Every item they touch can become a weapon and often does.

12. As babies and toddlers, they are fascinated by their penises.

13. They don't outgrow #12.

14. The more you WANT them to remember their manners, the less they will.

15. The worst word you could possibly utter in the heat of the moment is the ONE word they will remember verbatim.

16. The amount of fun is directly proportional to the amount of danger involved.

17. The more expensive the toy, the faster they will find a way to break it.

18. The more he can gross out a little girl, the more he likes her.

“Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable” - Plato

THE BLOG

2014-06-25T07:52:00.001-07:00

And now I know. I know how to put my creativity to use. My blogs started out as fun, albeit therapeutic fun but fun just the same. Finding topics has been somewhat challenging. I typically wait for something pertinent or I write about my kids. But now I've taken on an endeavor....a project. And I'm so excited about it. The task of saving money is not an easy one for me. And it became a nearly impossible one. My aunt mentioned kickstarter.com and after looking into it, I knew that was an avenue that had potential. GoFundMe wasn't going to be an option. No way would I just ask everyone else to pay for my trip. But kickstarter gave me a means to make it something tangible that people could be rewarded with for helping/supporting me.

I know that I want to make my blogs about the trip something enjoyable. I will write as I go and edit when I get home. And I know the trip will be an outstanding adventure!! And adventures are always fun, not to mention funny. If I had mad editing skills, I'd put the pictures to music, but since I promised books, guess I'll stick to words. But words, quips, anecdotes, and kareyisms are what make me, me. And that is the premise of the project. Not just some boring travel blog or travel log. You can get facts and scenery anywhere. What I hope to provide is the true view from my eyes. And the warped take on it from my brain.

Have I mentioned that much of my ancestry is German? Just another reason to have this trip on my bucket list. The relief that the trip might become a reality is akin to butterflies before a performance.

There have been other benefits to the kickstarter project too. In posting the link to my Twitter, I've gotten some rather odd new followers. (And by 'odd' I mean 'cool') Some other bloggers and the like.

I will wrap this up by saying that I hope if you are a follower of my blog, you take the time to go read about the project. It is more than just a request for money. Every dollar is a show of support and so very appreciated. And if you are a fan of my writing, you can donate to receive a book after the trip.

Check it out:
http://kck.st/1nBtgWt

Much love and thanks to all who have taken the time to read my rambling musings!! XOXO

Behind the scenes

2014-05-22T19:15:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of posts online about not knowing when someone else is struggling and so be kind to everyone. I generally thrive on humor. Love to make people laugh and love to hear that I have. I occasionally rant or complain but I try not to do it publicly very often. And I'm not doing it today either. What I am doing is putting in writing some feelings that I want to share.

The past 9 months (this school year) have been a nearly daily struggle at my house. We've had some real hurdles and battles. I've worried more than I've ever had to with either of my kids. And tomorrow all those worries abate as I watch my son receive recognition for Commitment to Character at school. The struggles are hopefully behind us and the battles are nearly non-existent now.

If anyone ever says a mothers instincts aren't real, they aren't mothers. Sometimes as moms we have to make decisions that we aren't sure about. When it turns out to have been the right one, the relief is palpable.

I can't begin to describe the pride I have for this kid!! He has worked hard and has trusted me to help and guide. The roads we walk with our children are not always easy. Not always lined with roses. But the rewards are countless and priceless.

I'm a lucky mom!!

Humans

2013-12-20T06:10:00.000-08:00

A little background first....several years ago (and this has NOTHING to do with "Obamacare") the government instituted a mandate that medical offices and hospitals should at some point all be able to share information electronically. Ergo, the age of electronic health records began. Medicare then decided that if you chose not to participate, they would penalize you monetarily. Now, in order to NOT be penalized, you have to collect data on and report to the federal government certain things. One of which is "race". Any patient can choose not to answer this on our forms but if they do answer, we then enter it.

The other day a patient wrote (and this was a first) "human" in the blank next to Race. I am now embarrassed and sad to admit that we all chuckled about this. Because, as I thought about it later, I realized just how intelligent an answer that was. When and why is "race" the pigmentation of our skin? Aren't we all part of the Human Race?

This actually makes me question so many things. I participate in some online consumer surveys and am sometimes asked about my marital status. Domestic Partnership is never an option given. I'm not in one but have noticed its absence from the choices. And for the information the government is looking for in my reporting, they want to know ethnicity but only ask "Hispanic" or "not Hispanic". Why are those my only options?

When will our "melting pot" of diversity be accepted by everyone? When we stop teaching our children to hate based on nothing other than appearance.

Transitions

2013-11-10T10:13:00.000-08:00

The transition from "mom" to "friend" has to be one of the most rewarding moments of motherhood. I can't, with any certainty, pinpoint when the transition happened between my mother and I but I thank her with all of my heart for laying the groundwork for me to be able to have it with my daughter. I will always be Mom and wouldn't trade that for anything but this new relationship between us is more wonderful than I expected.

I should have known because of my mom. She knows me better than anyone. She appreciates our similarities and our differences. She values who I am and I hope she knows that she had the biggest role in that. This is the level I am at with my daughter now. We talk about almost everything. Even when she doesn't say some things, I just know. She knows she can be herself with me and lets me see the parts no one else does. Unless you are a parent, you cannot understand this.

To my friends who still have children under the age of 18, hold tight. The road can be rocky but if you are lucky enough to attain this level, it is incredible. I am lucky, I am grateful (every day), and I am humbled by the humans that were made within me.

If I should die tomorrow, please know that my life was full! My heart more full than I have ever hoped for and I hope that when it is my time, my family, my friends, and mostly my children know the role they played in making my life a most wonderful one.

Random thoughts

2013-08-20T13:51:00.001-07:00

What shall we discuss today?

Politics? We have a mayoral election underway. Will the incumbent be re-elected? Will the man with the better political career and background win? I am certain that my beloved city and its residents will NOT elect the off-minded city council person who has run approximately 4 times for this spot. The primary election is in 7 days. And then there will be 2. Ok, enough politics.

Headlines? Overdoses, shootings, corruption. Ok, enough headlines.

How about baby Prince George? Awwww.....so sweet and cuddly....like ALL babies! I know I'm not the only one who has thought about Diana and how much she would have loved that baby! And how proud she would be of her sons. Ok, enough about the Royals.

Work? Morons!! Enough said.

Kids? Oh, if you must know, they are FABULOUS!! My seventh grader likes his classes so far. Ready to start fall baseball and I am so excited to watch this kid grow and become an adult. I know the world holds great things for him! Its beginning to show great things to my first-born now. She had an incredible summer internship and the opportunities and doors are really starting to show themselves and open for her. As she heads into her junior year of college she is focused and ready! I'm so proud of both of them! Gee, can we tell where my interests lie?

Friends? They are the spice, the wubbies, the rocks, the entertainment, the 'everything' in my life. My friends vary greatly and I wouldn't trade a one of them! I love them all!!

This one was quite random....quite topic-less and yet topic-full.

Cheers!

Happy again

2013-07-24T07:57:00.000-07:00

Oh the joys of thinking clearly!! I've shaken off most of my blues and have realized the important parts of what life has shown me recently. I still hurt a little BUT I regret nothing. I wouldn't trade or change what we had or how I felt. I wish with all my heart that it hadn't had to end BUT it was obviously how it was supposed to be.

Today is a bright shiny day. I will not wallow in self-pity any longer. I have the business of Life to get back to and so today I shall smile more, hold my head up higher, and put the bounce back in my step (oh wait, I didn't bounce beforehand). But you know what I mean.

I am looking forward now. Not to anything in particular. No major events happening...just life....each day. And it's a good one!!

2013-07-19T13:49:00.000-07:00

I'm not the first, nor will I be the last, to have my heart broken and feel like I will never be whole again. I thought he was the man of my dreams. I thought he treated me better than anyone ever had. WE talked about 'forever'. WE made promises and made plans.

And so soon it all just changes. I am no longer what/who he wants. And when it ends, although talk of remaining friends was paramount, it is so completely over and gone that there is a palpable void. I feel like so much of 'me' was invested in a relationship that was so short-lived. I have guarded those parts that hurt so badly right now for so long that I am more upset with myself for allowing myself to let the walls down than with him for invading and leaving.

Inside the mind, you KNOW others have been there and understand but nothing seems to appease or ease the pain. I allowed myself to love someone in a way I didn't even know I could. It's crazy how quickly I fell, too. Uncharacteristic and unlikely but happened just the same. I can't even say with complete certainty "lesson learned". What could the lesson be? Don't love? Don't love the wrong person? Don't love too soon? I give up. I don't even want to know the answer.

Most days, I am completely bipolar throughout the day. I feel bad, then I feel sad, then I try to get angry, then I try to block it all and be happy. My brain may just explode soon. I know I am stronger than this and that I will be just fine and quickly. I have my wonderful children to focus on and have had a fantastic summer with them so far. They keep me centered and keep me sane.

And so, I will pray for strength...mostly strength to regain the confidence that I feel is so precarious right now.

Today

2013-04-19T10:44:00.000-07:00

Like sands in the hourglass...

I, like most of the nation, have been watching the scenes unfold in Boston. Watched with fascination, horror, and pride at the carnage and heroism that all blended together within a few moments of each other. Half-listened to news and social media updates about suspects, no suspects, in custody, not in custody, etc. Prayed for the innocent as their cities were locked down in the manhunt. And as all of this unfolded, a friend has come to town to get married and many many more are gathering for another's funeral. We celebrate, we mourn, we fight our battles and watch the battles unfold in our communities. We post on social media websites about friendship and love and hopefully we hug our children a little tighter and say "I love you" more often.

I am struck by the wonder of Life today. I get to see my daughter this weekend, briefly. She will be headed to the funeral of a family member. I will also get to spend the weekend (a busy and fun one) with my son. I will not be attending the funerals or the wedding. But so many of my friends will do one or the other or both. And it will be foremost in all our minds how precious and how precarious life truly is. And we will be reminded how dark and sinister it can be as well. As humans, we are flawed. We have free will. That free will allows us to make decisions that can be influenced by others and can be detrimental to those around us. It also allows us to love. Love can be paradise and it can be hell.

I wonder if there were some type of 'tally' that could be generated with each human being that showed us the number of lives we touch as we go along, starting the day we are born, if that wouldn't raise awareness both within ourselves and how we treat others. I, too, am heartbroken for the families left behind. The children, the parents, the friends. I pray for peace for the witnesses for they may become very tortured souls. And I send a very heartfelt THANK YOU to all who are First Responders.

Each of us are like those sands in the hourglass, each our own, yet intertwined. One large community and many smaller lives within. We may touch others, either in passing or with true friendship or love, but will you know whom you have touched? Say something nice to someone EVERY day. If you see a fireman, paramedic, nurse, or policeman on the street, say thank you. Give smiles freely. You've heard these words before, practice them....don't take any day for granted.

2012-12-30T07:44:00.000-08:00

If you want to know the value of one month, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.

A score...2 decades...20 years...how can it be? Look at this picture...the rough start. I know I write the same thing every year at the anniversary of your birth. How can I not? You were destined to be phenomenal and you have not disappointed. When I speak of you to friends or strangers, I beam. I know it, I can't help it.

After your success in high school, I worried (a little) about college. Would it/you live up to the standards you had set for yourself? As you get ready to begin your spring session of your sophomore year, I'd have to say, YES!!

So many open and blunt conversations between us. I know that we have added "friend" to our relationship. I will always be "mom" and you will always be my baby girl but we have so much more than that now and I am immensely grateful.

Aside from our immediate family, I don't think others can truly understand what we went through to get here. And thats ok. I do and so do you. You work so hard and I am more proud than I can adequately convey.

I rave about you and your achievements every chance I get. Quite possibly to a fault. I'm not going to say as much in this blog as I have in the past. Let the pictures speak for themselves. You are my light, my shining star, half of my heart.

Happy Birthday, +Emily Lofton. I am one proud momma!! Continue on your road, your path and your next 20 years will be just as great!! LOVE YOU!!

The trip

2012-07-27T13:42:00.002-07:00

Have I ever told you about the time I drove to Key West for a long weekend? What a fun time!! But the trip down there was an adventure all its own.....

Three 30-something females with a cooler of beer and a "getaway" mindset. Trouble, you say? Nah, just some fun. So we load up the car and leave around 6 or 7 PM. We aren't even out of our own town when a car (small pickup, actually) is trying to get our attention on the Interstate. We all look over at the same time and realize the guy driving is naked and leaned way back in his seat so as to show us his "goods". And he's probably in his 60's at least. Well, after we gained our composure and stopped laughing hysterically, the next part of the drive just flew by. We got onto US 1 around 10 or so and traffic came to a dead halt. People were getting out of their cars to try to figure out what was going on. We were told there was a bad accident a ways ahead and they were landing the helicopter to get the injured. Looked like we'd be there a while. So, as would be our "style", we popped open that cooler, got each of us a beer and offered some to the guys in the BIG pickup stopped behind us. After chatting with them briefly, they said, "We know a back road around all this if you want to follow us". Being the cautious, intelligent women that we were, we most certainly did!! And as we did, we wrote the horror movie that we just KNEW our lives were going to be made into. Because not only did they turn down a "back road", it had zero lights and huge overgrown mangroves on both sides of the 2 lane "road", they also had some kind of redneck bumper sticker that we hadn't seen before. (I swear there was banjo music playing somewhere...)

So we all knew how it would end....the three of us chopped up and fed to the gators, my car missing, and the cooler of beer in the back of a large pickup truck. We even knew what the movie goers would say while watching...."NOOOOOOOOOOOO, don't go that way!!!!"

And so we giggled and wrote the screenplay while driving along and a few miles later, came back out onto US 1 well past the traffic crash and we continued on our way. Safe, unharmed and with a story that has been so much fun to tell!!

And that was just the first 5 hours of the trip.....

Political Agenda

2012-07-25T11:17:00.001-07:00

Here we go....my delve into politics.

People on the far left OR far right of our country's 2 main political parties scare me. Why can't a political agenda be "truly" about the good of the people...the MAJORITY of the people....not the majority of the ones who will vote for you.

Studying history and our Constitution are all well and good but they have to be incorporated into modern times. The founders of our country and writers of our Constitution lived in a completely different world; a world without nuclear weapons, without motorized vehicles, without the World Wide Web. It takes an understanding that our country believed strongly in religious freedom because many of our "founding fathers" had fled other countries under religious persecution. Understanding that you won't be persecuted for your beliefs is NOT the same as understanding that you are living in a primarily Christian country. I don't believe that should change, nor should people protest the observance of Christian beliefs and holidays throughout the country. I wish someone would speak out about the meaning of religious FREEDOM. Also what "separation of Church and State" really means.

The majority of politicians I have met have said they got into politics because they were passionate about a particular subject. I believe this to be true for the most part. Perhaps more so locally than on the national scale. Why do people complain about negative political ads and then admit that those same ads swayed their vote? Because we all want to hear the "dirt". We want to hear it about our neighbors, our coworkers, friends of friends, and the famous. These ads prevail for the same reason TMZ is still on the air.

I still believe that one person can make a difference. I still believe that if you claim citizenship and pay taxes, you should exercise your right to vote. Everyone is willing to complain and everyone has the right. But please, exercise your right to vote if you plan to exercise the one to complain. Our Government isn't perfect and probably never will be but I am still a citizen and I will still vote for the candidate whom I hope will screw up the least. And when asked what I think, I will have a knowledgable opinion to share.

And to my friends who don't "do" politics, (and yes, I have more than one), you better pay attention and start. You should be learning about the candidates so that when you vote during an election year, you make an informed decision. And remember to teach your children about this RIGHT!!

Today's rant!

2012-04-11T11:26:00.000-07:00

Lets all stop and take a breath, please! I am not now nor will I ever make light of identity theft or credit card theft....but lets be realistic about both please!! I hate that the media perpetuates the myth that everyone and anyone will steal your personal information. And now let me explain why I'm ranting about this...

I have done medical billing for 23 years now. Long time. I have seen drastic changes in health insurances, reimbursements, the software used, etc. As a medical office manager, I am bound by certain "rules" of the industry. Beginning this year, we have now been mandated for certain issues by the Federal Trade Commission of all people...because Medicare, Medicaid and the Federal Government weren't bad enough. The FTC passed on some things that had previously only been mandated to banks and other such lenders. And according to the FTC, although Medicare is one of the only insurances left to use social security numbers as identification, we do NOT have to file insurance for a patient if they do not give us their social security number. In essence, it is because we are a type of "lender" in filing claims to an insurance company on behalf of the patient. They have received services from us without money (other than applicable copays) out of their pocket. And now most of America is being told via the media to NOT give their SS #'s to anyone!!

Because my life and job were not difficult enough, I now get to fight with crabby old people who are convinced that someone in a doctors office will steal their identity. And because so many offices will concede rather than push the issue, they know I won't turn them away either. And although I try to be kind and explain both why I need to have it and that my system does not share that information with anyone, I am often met with rude and unkind responses and flat out "too bad"s.

Again, I am not making light of having your identity stolen. I am certain it can be devastating. Lets just be smart in identifying where that might happen. Do you know that beginning in 2014, I have to maintain a written record of where every piece of every patient's record goes? From a claim form to their insurance company, to the notes back to their primary care physician, to a prescription to a pharmacy or an order for some type of equipment or other services.

Thanks for listening.

Reflections

2012-01-02T08:23:00.000-08:00

At the dawning of each new year since 1993, I find myself reflecting on that year and the circumstances leading up to it and the achievements since. I've written about it numerous times as I do now. I have so much to be grateful for and it all began somewhere around New Years Eve 1992. I was invited to a New Years Eve party that night and declined at the last minute as I wasn't feeling well and was just over 30 weeks pregnant. The first 3 months of 1993 are a blur. The facts (some are remembered, others have been told to me):

As the morning of January 4th dawned, convinced I had the flu, I called in sick to work. (I worked for my Ob/Gyn, thank God, so he called to check on me after office hours and hearing I was still sick, sent me to the hospital to just make sure I wasn't dehydrated)
Upon arriving at St Petersburg General Hospital, it was discovered that my blood pressure was 185/130, I had 4+ proteins in my urine and my reflexes were also 4+. After my doctor arrived, the decision was made to transport me to the hospital closest to the Children's Hospital and also with a level 4 labor and delivery unit as it was unclear at this point if I would need to be induced to stop the progression of what was determined to be severe pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome.
After transport and unsuccessful attempts to get my blood pressure under control, decision was made to induce labor. The transport team visited us from All Children's and explained what to expect once the baby was born as the baby was measuring less than 3 lbs at this point. (In all honesty, I do not recall ever feeling fear or dread that night. I had the utmost confidence in the medical team and knew that there were no other options.)
At approximately 7 AM, January 5th, with no contractions in sight, decision was made for cesarean section. (I was told some time later that my kidneys at that point were producing what looked like ketchup.)
At 7:46, my beautiful and very tiny baby girl entered this world and completely changed mine! They told us not to expect any sounds because she was so early but she let out 2 tiny cries. They told us to be thankful she was female because they are better fighters. We were grateful that being early was our only obstacle. She had no other health problems and proved to be an incredible fighter.
Parents of preemies can attest to how time seems to stand still when your baby is in the NICU. But when that day draws near and they start talking about releasing them, it seems to have flown by! Our Emily spent 7 weeks there. Getting the breathing thing down was the hardest part. Once she figured that out, the rest was a piece of cake.
February 21st, our little bundle of joy came home. By this time, my blood pressure had returned to normal and my kidneys were getting close.

As her 19th birthday approaches and she is home from her first semester away at college, my reflections remain. Amazement and wonder abound for this incredible human being. I gush with pride at her accomplishments to this point and look forward with anticipation at the many wondrous things she has yet to do.

How can it have been 19 years ago already? Having children was the best decision I ever made. I am quite certain I was put on this Earth to be their mother! I am infinitely blessed to be a part of their lives!

Happy New Year to all and happy 19th birthday to my beautiful, talented and incredibly intelligent daughter!

Because I'm not a reporter...

2011-11-21T12:32:00.001-08:00

I don't care about selling a newspaper or magazine or getting ratings on the nightly news. For just a few minutes, stop, and let me present another point of view. Its one the media will not present to you and you may not have considered.

I have seen the pictures and read the articles. Those "horrible" police who pepper sprayed those poor innocent college students on the UC-Davis campus have been crucified in the media (including social media sites). I have watched the video. I have seen the pictures with the pepper-spraying cop inserted. What I want to know is how many of you who have opinions about this have been on the front lines of a riot? Or been in a cops shoes as an angry mob outnumbers him, easily, by 3 or 4 to 1. There were hundreds of students on those grounds and less than 30 cops. Go back and watch that video again and try to imagine being there in the midst of angry people who don't want you there and try to figure out what you would do. Listen to the 1 or 2 who are inciting the rest of the crowd with their chants and as the crowd moves up on the police and follows them as they begin to back away.

Pepper spray is not a lethal use of force. The police were called out to insure a peaceful protest. THAT protest was anything but peaceful. It didn't turn violent but it sure walked a fine line. A friend posted the video and article and said it reminded her of the UC-Berkeley days and the riots there. How utterly ridiculous a thing to say!! Historians will tell you that what started as true political movements in the early 60's had major transformations and by the time of the 1969 protest in People's Park, the students and young people were looking for riots. Their political agenda's had become very non-political by then. And does anyone remember that it was the beloved Governor Ronald Reagan that called in the National Guard that day??

Watch the video again and notice how fired up those students begin to get. Had any ONE of them started throwing rocks or bottles, most would have followed suit and a riot would have ensued....with hundreds of them vs a handful of police. No, it didn't happen but the atmosphere was ripe for it. And if those police officers were riot-trained, they knew it. So why are the cops the bad guys? Why has the one with the pepper spray been persecuted by the media?

I'm in the minority in this particular viewpoint, I know that. But its okay...this is America. I believe those cops did not overreact and neither did the Chancellor of the college. Those same police DO protect our freedoms and keep us safe....when we aren't putting ourselves or others in dangerous situations.

Moms of boys

2011-11-16T17:08:00.001-08:00

Moms of boys are aware of certain truths:

1. Any reference to genitalia is hilarious.

2. Any sound of a bodily function is equally hilarious.

3. A story with mention of bodily functions is only topped by one with senseless violence.

4. If there is a way to get dirty doing something, they will find it.

5. If its at all possible to get it in a pocket, they can do that too.

6. If the street floods, its better than a pool!

7. Any article of clothing that has been on their body is now stinky.

8. Lego's hurt badly when stepped on in the dark.

9. When they start dressing themselves, re-folding the clothes they AREN'T wearing becomes a daily chore.

10. Girls become interesting far earlier than mom is ready for them to.

11. Every item they touch can become a weapon and often does.

12. As babies and toddlers, they are fascinated by their penises.

13. They don't outgrow #12.

14. The more you WANT them to remember their manners, the less they will.

15. The worst word you could possibly utter in the heat of the moment is the ONE word they will remember verbatim.

16. The amount of fun is directly proportional to the amount of danger involved.

17. The more expensive the toy, the faster they will find a way to break it.

18. The more he can gross out a little girl, the more he likes her.

“Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable” - Plato

Feel free to send your additions...

Weighing in...

2011-11-12T08:20:00.001-08:00

Watching College Game Day on ESPN and the topic has been blowing up facebook and Twitter. I think Mike Millen said it best....perspective.

Yes, Joe Paterno's legacy will be forever tarnished. Yes, the University may or may not have handled it properly. Yes, Sandusky is scum and should be prosecuted. Yes, college football will go on and should. This isn't about college football. This isn't about Paterno or Penn State. Its only about the victims. COULD Paterno have done more? Possibly. SHOULD the University have done more? Probably. Is the judging of others something that is an innate human trait? ABSOLUTELY!!

The only ones who should be weighing in on this are Sandusky's victims. I commend them for coming forward and hope they each get their day in court for justice.

My opinion about Joe Paterno or Penn State or even Sandusky matters not. Neither does yours, unless you are one of the victims. I WANT the Penn State team to do well today. I wish success for Joe Paterno's successors. Not because I've ever been a Penn State fan nor am I an alumni. I just don't think the focus of this tragedy should be on that field with the players today that had no part in any of it.

I'm sad that Paterno's legacy will suffer because I think he worked hard to attain it. However, did he put his winning record and legacy ahead of doing the right thing in reference to Sandusky? I will never profess to know. I didn't walk in his shoes...I don't know what he knew or what he thought. Mike Millen said he learned about perspective from Paterno. I believe that. Lets keep this in perspective. Lets support the victims. Lets support the system that justice will be served. This isn't about college football. This isn't about Paterno's phenomenal coaching ability. Just watched the moment of silence offered to the victims prior to the kickoff at Penn State. Very moving. Their honor is not lost. I hope their success will not be, either.