Karma (continued...)

"Your Kid Watches WHAT?" and Other Mom Judgments: Pretty Wicked Moms Debuts on Lifetime

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Mon, 20 May 2013 18:40:00 +0000

Confession: My kids watch trashy TV.

Well, not really trashy, like Real Housewives or American Gladiators or anything featuring a talking sponge wearing underpants. (I have some standards, after all.) But yes, my kids watch television. Most of it is "educational." But some of it?

So isn't.

I used to be that mom that judged other moms for watching television. E didn't watch a single second of TV until she turned two. And then, it was one show a day, and Sesame Street ONLY. Later, we branched out into some select Nick Jr and PBS Kids shows I felt were well-written, engaging, and offered either concrete knowledge or actually did promote the "social and emotional development" the commercials claimed.

Then I had a second child. Somewhere between nonstop nursing, diaper-changing and big sister soothing, I lost control of the remote. E discovered the Hub and became totally addicted to the glittery, enticing, mind-numbing, trash-tastic joys of My Little Pony and Strawberry Shortcake. And as child of the '80s? I sort of got addicted, too.

I didn't think too much about our sub-par television habits (a little Strawberry Shortcake never hurt anyone, right?) until recently, when we had a play date with a school friend of E's we'd never seen socially before.

"Come see my room! Wanna play My Little Pony? You can be Pinkie Pie and I'll be Twilight Sparkle!" E shouted with enthusiasm, tossing an embarrassingly large pile of acrylic-haired plastic ponies, along with miniature hair extensions and tiny pink plastic combs, into a pile on her bed.

"What's My Little Pony" the other girl asked, wide-eyed and innocent.

"You know, from the show? It's on the Hub. We watch it, like ALL the time," E said, one hand on her hip with cocky authority. She, like her mama, loves being the one in the know.

The other girl's mom raised her eyebrows over a pair of hipster plastic framed glasses and looked at me.
"We only watch 30 minutes of educational programming a week," she said, her tone mixing a perfect cocktail of derision and pity. "We don't even have cable. It's a lifestyle choice."

Ok. I get it. I've been there. I've been that mom who judges other moms for doing things like eating food that stayed on the floor past the five second rule, or sending their kids to school with gross snotty noses, or buying the kind of fruit snacks that don't have "ORGANIC" plastered all over the packaging. We've probably all been there at one point or another--the moment in a mom's day where, at least for one short minute, WE are the one doing the right thing. Making the right choice. Not totally, completely screwing everything up...like that mom over there is clearly doing a brilliant job of.

But we've also all been the judged mom. The one who gets called out on watching her kid watch My Little Pony instead of Super Why!, or eating stale Goldfish straight from the carton instead of baking homemade kale chips and seasoning them with organic olive oil.

Which is why I love this new unscripted series from Lifetime called Pretty Wicked Moms. These perfectly manicured, super-Type-A Atlanta moms bring the "mommy wars" to a whole new level. Their "mom problems" are so over-the-top they make My Little Pony look positively wholesome. Entertaining and fascinating at the same time, Pretty Wicked Moms just might become my newest TV guilty pleasure (when E's not around, anyway!)

(Also, the Pretty Wicked Moms are so devious and cutthroat, it's making that hipster mom with cool glasses and a vegan handbag who thinks I'm basically the worst mom ever for letting my four-year-old watch My Little Pony and play with toys that are plastic and pink not seem all that bad, after all...)

And you know what, judgy hipster mom? This morning E woke up at 5:45 and wanted to snuggle. So I stumbled downstairs, made a pot of coffee, and curled up under a blanket with my daughter to watch Strawberry Shortcake. And while our brains may have been rotting and she could have been using the time to learn fractions or study Mandarin Chinese...we loved every minute of it.

Do you have judgy moms in your life? Tune in to watch parenting like you've never seen before with the first episode of Pretty Wicked Moms on Tuesday, June 4, at 10:00 pm ET/PT on Lifetime!

FTC DISCLOSURE: Karma (continued...) aims to provide unbiased editorials. However, I wish to disclose that from time to time I may receive free products or other compensation from companies for blogger reviews.

Pushing Motherhood and LAdyInfluencers

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Thu, 16 May 2013 05:33:00 +0000

Photo via Diane Mizota

Recently, my friend Diane Mizota (mentioned so many times on this blog she practically needs no introduction, but suffice it to say she's a loyal and treasured friend, an incredibly talented actor and on-camera personality, and wields a mean video camera) hosted an "LAdyInfluencers" luncheon in her (adorable) backyard for some of her favorite Los Angeles-based women in entertainment and social media.

Photo via Jennifer Brandt

Along with delicious food from Paleta and the most incredibly kick-ass ice cream (I'm still dreaming about the kiwi avocado) from the most incredibly kick-ass liquid nitrogen instant ice cream making machine (go check out Nitropod!), we got a rare chance to relax, catch up, and talk shop on a beautiful, sunny SoCal afternoon. I feel fortunate to know so many intelligent and talented women in my little social media world, and to be in the same space with all of them was beyond amazing.

Photo via Diane Mizota

Then Diane ushered us into her ultra-chic living room (not a Lego in sight...I'm beginning to think her "son" is fictional...) to watch one of the most inspiring and moving documentary film trailers I've ever seen.

Lifelong best friends Sybil Azur and Linda Cevallos-French worked together, played together...and then started down the incredibly painful road of infertility together. At the ages of 38 and 45 respectively, Sybil and Linda, began their journey toward motherhood at what medicine calls "advanced maternal age." The film explores the choices that led them to delaying starting their families, and explores the stories of women over 35 who have pursued education and careers...and what decisions about "pushing motherhood" really mean in today's world.

Infertility has touched so many important women in my life, and for that reason alone I had tears in my eyes pretty much the minutes the opening credits started rolling. But Pushing Motherhood is about so much more than infertility--it's about the choices women are making about career, education and family...and what that means when it comes to motherhood. Giving every woman information about her choices, her options and her body is an important part of Pushing Motherhood's mission, and it couldn't be a more powerful one.

Watch Sybil and Linda's trailer below, and please consider donating to their KickStarter campaign here. They are close to their goal of funding the post-production of this powerful film, and their message is one that truly deserves to be heard.

BlogHer Voices of the Year: An Eleventh Hour Testimonial

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Tue, 14 May 2013 23:59:00 +0000

Photo via BlogHer

At a blogging conference two weeks ago, I stumbled across Polly Pagenhart enjoying a peaceful, solo moment taking in the gorgeous ocean view. I stood just behind her for a moment, unseen, transformed momentarily into a blushing, self-conscious, indecisive teenager as I wondered whether or not to barge in on her moment of quiet to say what I suddenly, desperately needed to say.

Then I barged on over, threw my arms around her, and said the words I've been trying to write on this blog for the better part of a year:

"Voices of the Year changed my life. I can never thank you enough."

As many of you know, last year I was given the incredible, almost indescribable honor of being named one of BlogHer's 2012 Voices of the Year, and the opportunity to read my piece at the Community Keynote. I say "indescribable" because it seems like I should be able to use plenty of my usual (overused) adjectives to tell you what it felt like:

Amazing. Awesome. Inspiring.

And yes, it was all of those things.

But it was also so much more.

From being lovingly coached by Polly and the equally awesome Shannon Carroll, to a somewhat starstruck meeting with BlogHer co-founders Lisa Stone and Elisa Camahort Page (Jory Des Jardins, very pregnant, couldn't make it!), to waiting in a green room that had recently hosted Katie Couric and Martha Stewart feeling more nauseated and terrified and inadequate than I've ever felt in my whole entire life, the experience leading up to the VOTY keynote felt surreal and impossible and beyond comprehension.

Then I had to get onstage in front of hundreds of my peers.

The view from the (way) back...

Polly shared a piece of wisdom with us all just before we lined up to wait in the wings for our turn behind the podium.

"When you get up there, don't do anything for a minute. Pick a spot in the crowd, focus, and take one long, slow breath. That breath will make all the difference."

And it did.

Just minutes before my VOTY dress rehearsal last August, I was having lunch at Sarabeth's with my literary agent when we received word that we'd gotten our first offer on the proposal for Karma Gone Bad.

I called J from outside a crowded subway station, shouting into my phone to tell him the news, and felt pretty sure that (births of my children excluded) that moment was the absolute best five minutes of my life. A lifelong dream was coming true. Everything was about to change.

But I was wrong, sort of. Because in a separate but totally different way, reading and being recognized at BlogHer's Voices of the Year was just as life changing. Never before, and never again, will I stand before a room full of my talented peers, and be recognized for something we collectively, as writers and bloggers, pour our hearts and souls into every single day. I shared the stage with some of the funniest, most insightful and most inspiring writers out there, and listened to the sound of applause that showered each of us with more love and support than we could ever have imagined. In that moment, I realized--fully and truly and for the very first time--that my writing meant something. That I wasn't just sending words out into a black void. We are all in this together. Sharing our stories is sometimes the most powerful tool we have to live life with purpose, and with gratitude, and with joy.

Maybe it's taken me so long to write about it because it still feels so surreal. Like writing it down here might just be an extension of the same beautiful daydream it was all along. Except...it wasn't a daydream. Because I have an e-book (and an Amazon author listing!) and the video footage to prove it. Even if I'll never find exactly the right words to express the wonder and gratitude and personal significance of the Voices of the Year experience...at least I have evidence to remind myself it happened.

So now it's today. Submissions for VOTY '13 are open for just one more day. Consider this my eleventh hour request to all the bloggers out there, no matter how big or small or good or bad you think you are...submit something while you still can. Submit your best piece...the one that makes your stomach hurt when you think about how hard it was to write, or the one that makes you laugh out loud no matter how many times you read the same words on the screen. Believe in yourself. I am forever grateful to BlogHer for believing in me...and it never would have happened if I hadn't taken the plunge and believed in myself first.

Photo via BlogHer

A million belated but heartfelt thanks to everyone at BlogHer--not just for the incredible honor of VOTY, but for the inspiring, talented community of women you have created. You have given us an incredible, powerful platform to make our voices heard and to influence our worlds, both digital and real.

And also more belated and heartfelt thanks to the friends who held my hand when I was nervous, texted words of love and support, helped me rehearse my piece long past midnight in a tiny hotel room, waited outside to share hugs and champagne at the reception, and sat in the audience cheering as loud as they could so I'd know they were there. You know who you are, and I am so grateful for every single one of you.

Below is the video clip of my Community Keynote reading for those that asked a million years ago. I'm beyond excited to attend 2013's Voices of the Year keynote and celebrate with the women (and men) that will walk this blessed path after me. And to this year's readers:

-Don't be as nervous as I was! (I lost a whole conference day feeling nauseated and horrified...DON'T WORRY. IT WILL BE FINE!) From the balcony it will look like a bazillion chairs, but seated in every one of them is someone who is there to cheer you on and celebrate your words.

-Listen to the applause. Moments like this one come almost never. Enjoy it. Soak it in. Live it.

-Take Polly's advice, and take that one deep breath. It really will make all the difference.

Now go! Submit! Change your life! And if you don't happen to be chosen this year, go to BlogHer '13 in Chicago (a life-changing experience all by itself, I promise!) and sit in the audience and support your fellow writers. And then next year? Believe in yourself all over again.

video platform video management video solutions video player

To read the work of all 100 incredible 2012 Voices of the Year honorees, check out The BlogHer Voices of the Year: 2012 e-book! These pieces are insightful, moving, and laugh-out-loud funny. I'm so honored to have a place in this collection of fabulous writing.

Curly Girl Method for Wavy Hair: New Product List!

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 15:00:00 +0000

Pretty much every day, someone asks me the same question:

Are you still doing that thing with your hair?

By "that thing," they mean the Curly Girl method for wavy hair I adapted and have been experimenting with since last summer.

And my answer? Is a resounding YES.

In case you missed my original post, the basic formula is simple: no sulfates, no silicones, shampoo as infrequently as impossible and drying with either a non-terry cloth towel (my new favorite is this one by DevaCurl) or an old T-shirt of J's. I actually love the way my hair comes out when I use the T-shirt (it absorbs much less water so the texture comes out different) but J tends to glare at me when I use them too often...(oops.)

I've never been so happy with my hair in my entire life. I've been running almost every day and sweating it out in Bikram yoga on the off days, so I've been showering about a billion times more often as I used to, but my routine is simpler and faster than it has ever been. For special occasions, I still use a flatiron and velcro rollers or splurge on a blow out, but my day-to-day style is Curly Girl all the way.

Since so many questions and comments have poured in on my original Curly Girl for Wavy Hair post, I'm working on a FAQ post that will address some common issues, and another that will discuss some modifications I made for the wintertime. But today, I'm writing to share some new products I've discovered on my (never-ending) search for the perfect sulfate-free, silicone-free Curly Girl approved products.

Because even with the method working its magic, this wavy hair needs a lot of help.

Conditioner

I've been experimenting with lots of different conditioners, especially since the winter months left my hair pretty dried out...my beloved Trader Joe's Tea Tree collection just wasn't giving my hair the moisture I needed. My current favorite drugstore brand is L'Oreal Evercreme Intense Nourishing Conditioner. It's thick enough to stay put during my whole shower (remember, after rinsing or lightly shampooing your roots, condition the ends BEFORE you wash your body, shave your legs, etc. to maximize the benefits.) It's sulfate and silicone free and smells AMAZING. I can really tell a difference in the texture of my hair when I use the L'Oreal Evercreme--it's smoother, silkier and less prone to tangles.

My new salon brand favorite is Pureology Precious Oil Softening Conditioner. It's designed for "dull, brittle, color-treated hair" (which I don't have) but the folks at my neighborhood beauty supply store assure me that's just code for "extra gentle." With natural, 100% vegan ingredients, this one wins points for having both sunflower and coconut oils, which work wonders for coarse hair texture and make my hair extra-shiny. I also love the Pureology Precious Oil Shampoo, and since I use so little of it (washing just once a week most weeks, and only along my part line at the scalp) I can justify the extra cost.

Curl Cream

Current obsession: Devaconcepts DevaCurl Styling Cream. This brand is the go-to authority on all things Curly Girl, so I was thrilled when they finally introduced a curl cream to their product line. Gels and mousses are too stiff and sticky for my wavy hair, so after much trial and error I pretty much stick exclusively to creams. This one gives my waves great shape and definition with minimal fuss...I scrunch a little bit through my wet hair (ends only,) focusing on the denser areas the nape of my neck. So far, I'm thrilled with the results!

Another curl cream (though they call this one a "solution") I've been getting good results from is Curl Junkie Curls in a Bottle! . If you're an obsessive ingredients-reader like me, you'll notice this one contains PEG-8 dimethicone, but since it's water-soluble, it earns the Curly Girl seal of approval. I like this one because it's lighter than the creams, still gives great definition and helps with shine.

Dry Shampoo

OK, OK. I have absolutely NO idea whether dry shampoo is allowed on the Curly Girl method. There aren't any contraband ingredients in my current favorite,Alterna Bamboo Style Cleanse Extend Dry Shampoo, but that doesn't mean I might somehow be cheating on my no-'poo lifestyle. Either way, I'm loving this dry shampoo from Alterna on days when I only have 30 seconds to jump in the shower and rinse. A few quick sprays at the roots, which I then comb out with my fingers or a wide-tooth comb (love this one from Cricket Ultra Clean that prevents bacteria!) and my hair looks fresh and smells great, no water required :)

Curly Girl devotees out there: have you been experimenting with new products? Share them in the comment section below and I'll highlight them in my roundup piece coming soon!

Fur Baby Turns 9...Happy Birthday, Tucker!

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 03:28:00 +0000

Seems like it was just yesterday when we brought you home, tiny and shivering, in a cardboard box.

You were fluffy and wide-eyed and looked just like Albert Einstein.
You fit exactly in the palm of my hand.

You were how I learned to be a mom.
You let me make all kinds mistakes and forgave me every time.
You came with us to the ends of the earth and back again.
You tolerated the arrival of new, human babies with patience and grace.
You sacrificed two-thirds of my lap and two-thirds of my attention when your little sister and brother arrived, but your sweet, loyal affection never wavered.

You are my favorite sidekick, my pillow-stealing night snuggler, my furry muse.

You are my amazing, intelligent, one-of-a-kind first "child" (and also the very best dog in the world.)

Happy Birthday, Tucker! We love you like crazy :)

Runner at Last? Graduated C25K!

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 04:41:00 +0000

So...I did it.

I completed my very last workout in the nine-week training program that's been teaching me how to run.

When the little "CONGRATULATIONS" box popped up on my phone after that final run, I almost passed out from shock.

(Then I almost passed out from exhaustion. This running thing is hard.)

And then? I started running again.

Sprinting, actually. All the way down my street and straight into my house, where I basically exploded with pride and happiness and held a celebratory dance party in the kitchen (Imagine Dragons, the band that's been fueling my runs these past few weeks.) Sharing that moment with my family made the whole thing so much sweeter...there's nothing like the three people (and one dog) you love most cheering at the top of their lungs as you come crashing through the front door, soaked in sweat and high on endorphins, yelling "I DID IT! I REALLY DID IT!"

When I started the Couch to 5K program, I just wanted to give running a try. I didn't look ahead to the end; really, I was barely thinking past whatever workout I was struggling to get to the end of that day. But one run at a time, the weeks passed.

My legs got stronger.

My soul fell more in love with the feeling of my heart racing in time to my footsteps on the pavement.

I became a runner.

(Believe me, NO ONE could be more shocked about this than I am!)

The final workout in C25K isn't actually the 5K (they're tricky like that.) So my goal of finishing a 5K run, running the whole way, still stands before me. This week has been especially crazy with kids and work and life, so I've been taking it easy with 2-3 miles runs and trying to shave a few seconds of my time every day, plus hitting the yoga mat to balance out the intensity of the training workouts.

But this weekend?

That 5K is MINE.

Wish me luck!

Running for Boston (With a Broken Heart)

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 17:43:00 +0000

Photo credit

My life is in Los Angeles,
My soul is in New York City.
But my home is in Boston.

The events at the Boston Marathon on Monday are too horrific to put into words. There are no words. There is only the bottomless sorrow for the victims, their families, and an entire city that is suffering beyond comprehension and beyond measure.

I am heartbroken.
I am afraid.
But mostly, I am furious.

Marathon Monday was one of the best days of the year when I was growing up. (It wasn't until I went to college that I realized "Patriot's Day" wasn't actually a nationally-recognized holiday.) I grew up just a few blocks west of Heartbreak Hill. We'd go down to Comm Ave to cheer the runners on and hand out Dixie cups of Gatorade, or hang out with a boom box on someone's front lawn, enjoying the elated, celebratory, we-can-do-anything mood that hung over the city like a bright shiny rainbow.

Since I've started running, I appreciate and marvel at the strength and determination of the thousands and thousands of runners I watched pass by as their dreams carried them through the streets of my hometown, working toward the finish line one incredible mile at a time.

When I close my eyes, I imagine those families, so proud of their loved ones, waiting at the finish line to scream and cheer and hug and take pictures.

My heart is broken.

Last week, I picked E up from school and she told me she'd spent part of the day locked in the bathroom.

"We all had to be quiet, and whisper, and they wouldn't let us out until they could find a drill."

"A drill, honey? Are you sure?"

"Yes, it was because they had to break the lock down."

After a quick conversation with a security guard, I pieced together what she was trying to tell me: her preschool had a lock-down drill. 79 students, ranging in age from 2-5 years old, were lined up, marched to the bathrooms, and practiced what they would do in a real emergency situation. Like, if there were a shooter in their school building. One five-year-old, who was apparently told at home about the events in Newtown, had a panic attack.

"Jack thought there was a man with a gun in our school, Mommy. He cried. But the teachers told him it wasn't real, it was OK."

I hugged her tight. Then I turned away from her so she wouldn't see the tears in my eyes, and threw my arms around the armed security guard standing next to me and thanked him for keeping my child safe.

"Mommy, what will we do when we need a drill to open a lock in our house?"

"What do you mean, baby?"

"I mean when we do this at home."

"Well, I guess we'll go be safe in your closet. All together. You, and Daddy, and N and Tucker and me."

"But we can't do that, Mommy! My closet has a window. They said we have to be locked in a room with no windows at all."

There isn't a single room in my house, closet or otherwise, that doesn't have windows.

I am furious.

I am furious that we live in this world. A world where everything feels scary and uncertain. A world where people fly airplanes into buildings. A world where an event as sacred and celebrated as the Boston Marathon is defiled with hatred and violence and murder. A world where my four-year-old daughter is learning how to sit quietly on the floor of a bathroom in case someone comes into her school with the intent of murdering teachers and children. I am furious and heartbroken and numb beyond words that an eight-year-old boy from Dorchester who believed in peace won't ever come home again.

I don't know what to do about any of it. I don't know what to tell my children when they are old enough to understand, and ask questions. I don't know how to protect them. I don't know how to sleep at night.

Today, I'm running for Boston. Running with a broken heart, but still running. Boston is one of the strongest, scrappiest, most determined and most beautiful places in the entire world. My heart is with the people of Boston while they struggle to piece their lives and their city back together. My run today, and every day, will be dedicated to my hometown and its unbreakable spirit that I know will come back stronger, and for the runners who will keep chasing down their dreams straight to the finish line of 117 more Boston Marathons to come.

In the Middle

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Sat, 13 Apr 2013 05:43:00 +0000

Exactly a year ago, I participated in a photo-a-day challenge on Instagram organized by awesome Australian blogger Fat Mum Slim. I loved the task of taking a photograph that would both fulfill the day's prompt, and share a snippet of my life in a meaningful, artistic way.

As you know, the past year has been a roller coaster ride for me and my entire family. But I'm finally feeling back in the swing of things, and it's been absolute bliss to pick up my ~~camera~~ iPhone again and, once again, dedicate a little time to my (amateur) passion for photography.

Taking pictures lets me sink deeper into life's small moments, and helps me capture something beautiful I might not have seen before. Sometimes, it's true, I need to be reminded to put the damn camera down and enjoy the moment instead of just photographing it (wait, is it not the same thing?)

...but, like everything, finding that balance is a work in progress!

I won't share all of my photo-a-day captures here, but I'm looking forward to posting my favorites and sharing some highlights of my picture-taking journey. There's a lot to be learned from telling a story with just a photograph and a caption (and maybe a hash tag or two!), especially for a writer like me who tends to use 237 words when just a couple would do. Oops.

Today's prompt was "in the middle"...one of my very favorite places to be (and yes, that's a dog foot in the picture.) I've taken some really fun photos this week, but this one seemed especially appropriate.

I'm finally feeling in the middle of it all again. Instead of treading water on the edges, just trying to get by. Running, and writing, and practicing yoga, and snapping silly photos like this one... I'm ready to find that momentum and keep it going for as long as I possibly can.

One Year Later: Remembering Laurie in the Fight Against Cancer

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 12:00:00 +0000

A few weeks ago, we honored the one-year anniversary of my mother-in-law Laurie's death. Lit candles and bittersweet memories (plus a box full of cupcakes) helped us through an incredibly difficult day. Last March, she lost her battle with metastatic melanoma. We miss her more every day. Her loss reminds us every minute that something needs to be done about cancer before any more lives are lost, before any more birthdays are left uncelebrated.

I'm proud to continue working with the American Cancer Society to fight back against this terrible disease and find answers that prevent other families from going through this pain. This year, as the ACS celebrates their 100th anniversary, we look back at a time when the word "cancer" was only spoken in whispers, and ahead to a time when we can shout from the rooftops that we're finally winning the fight.

Please hug your loved ones tight and tell them you love them. Life is short. Every second counts. And if you have a minute to spare, watch the inspiring video below and help cancer victims survive to celebrate more birthdays with their own families. If we keep fighting strong, one day the dream of a cancer-free society might become a reality.

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by the American Cancer Society. All proceeds will be donated directly back to the ACS in Laurie's name.

Momentum: Learning to Run

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Wed, 10 Apr 2013 18:01:00 +0000

Prior to December 31, 2012, there was one sentence I could utter with absolute certainty:

I am NOT a runner.

I couldn't run from the couch to the refrigerator, let alone down the block. A game of tag in our super-tiny backyard left me out of breath. I wasn't out of shape, necessarily--lots of yoga and dog walks have kept me in the "reasonably healthy" range.

But around the time I wrote my new year's manifesto, I decided I wanted to become a runner. Not a marathon runner. Not a sprint runner. Not even a particularly good runner. I just woke up one morning and something inside me was telling me I needed to run.

(I tried to squash whatever it was with a pillow, but it wouldn't shut up. Sigh.)

So I downloaded the Couch To 5K app on my phone (praying hard that they were serious about the "couch" part) and on the last day of last year, I went on my first training "run." Which was actually 60 seconds of running mixed in with a whole lot of walking. Which involved me huffing, puffing, gasping for breath, and cursing the voice inside me that decided pounding down pavement in the hot sun was something even acceptable for my overall well being, let alone mandatory.

C25K is a nine week training program that promised I'd be able to run (the whole thing? Are you kidding me?) an entire 5K by the time I completed the training. Because of some crazy deadlines, I had to restart the program after three weeks. But I stuck with it. To this day, I have absolutely no idea why. Running is hard, and sweaty, and unpredictable. It is simply So. Not. Me.

Except.

This weird thing started happening the middle of my training runs. In the middle of my huffing, puffing, swearing-under-my-breath-I'll-never-ever-do-this-again journeys around my neighborhood. I found this sweet spot, eerily similar to the zen I feel in yoga, where my feet were moving and my breaths were even and I stopped trying to run...and started running for real. Where I moved, steadily and calmly, toward an invisible finish line I might not ever reach...and that was OK. More than OK. It was exhilarating, empowering, and entirely unexpected.

I found momentum. Something that comes from deep inside (probably the same place where the un-pillow-squashable voice lives) that lets me stop struggling and find a space where movement and breath and determination come together and make me feel like I'm flying. There are good run days and there are bad run days. Sometimes I'm on top of the world and sometimes I feel like a total failure (and really, is there a better metaphor for life?) But every time I tie on my Nikes and hit the road, I find a little bit more peace.

And sweat. And achy calves and hips. And the sometimes-feeling that I'm never, ever going to run that damn 5K. Sometimes my runs end with me curled up in a gasping ball on my front lawn, staring up at the sky and wishing someone would appear to carry me up my own front steps.

But.

The momentum lives within in me. Best of all, it serves as a reminder for the momentum I need in the rest of my life. In parenting. In relationships. In my career. That sweet spot exists everywhere, and the challenge becomes finding it, holding onto to it as hard as I can, and then finding it again and again. No more gasping for breath. No more crazy highs and lows, no more working as hard as I can or giving up completely. I want to find slow breaths and steady footfalls, and the peace that comes from knowing the race isn't about the finish line, but in finding the strength to keep going even when it's miles away.

Many of you have been following my C25K journey on Instagram, and I hope that those of you that have written about being intrigued or inspired to try a similar program will do it one day. If I can do this, anyone can. I'm currently on week 6, day 3 and have completed the major milestone of a 2 mile run. I'm still not even close to that 5K, but I'm trying!

If you're interested in trying, here are some of the apps that have helped me along the way:

C25K (hashtag #C25K on Instagram and Twitter)

Run Keeper: a GPS run tracker that let me know how far I've run, my split times, etc. With updates on pace and distance every five minutes, this app helps keep me motivated during my run and emails me progress reports (total distance, calories burned, personal records.) There's even a social media component so you can trade notes with friends, but I'm not quite ready to share my progress with world...yet.

Charity Miles: an awesome free app that donates money to a charity of my choice for every mile I run! (Many thanks to my aunt Jan for recommending this one.) Makes every run into something good, even the ones that kick my ass and make me grumpy ;)

Even if none of the other "lessons" I'm learning from this running thing stick, there's one thing I know for certain: I've got two super-fast reasons I keep at this. Keeping up with them just might make me a runner for life.

Mom Tribe, Online: Circle of Moms and Kia Motors present new videos!

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 17:51:00 +0000

Ever since E was born, I've depended on my "mom tribe" for so many things--advice, companionship, support, cups of coffee and glasses of wine, someone to talk me off ledges when the whole parenting thing seemed too overwhelming to bear.

My mom friends are everything to me. Because sometimes, you just need to cry on the (already spit-up-covered) shoulder of someone who gets what you're going through. And my online mom community is just as important. When my schedule gets too crazy to connect in real life, I always have my social media moms to share a quick laugh with on Twitter, and a quick scroll through my Instagram feed never fails to inspire me.

So I was especially excited when Circle of Moms (one of my favorite online communities) asked for me feedback on their new Circle of Moms video series in partnership with Kia. I got to review the latest video from Circle of Moms by POPSUGAR, which stars one of my favorite mom friends (online and off), Diane Mizota, alongside awesome celeb mom Tia Mowry, psychotherapist and author Stacy Kaiser, and reporter Lizzie Bermudez.

This episode had a segment on one of my favorite topics: what we learn from our kids. As a parent I've learned a hundred times more from my kids than I'll ever manage to teach them, and I loved seeing these talented women share their stories about little ones teaching them things like patience, honesty, being present in the moment...and how to play!

As the ladies took a road trip in the all new 2014 Kia Sorrento, they dished on another of my all time favorite topics...parenting with pets! Pets teach kids how to be responsible, gentle and kind. My favorite take-home tip from the episode? Stinky pets teach kids it's OK not to be perfect! My love affair with my first, furry child is well-documented here, and it's nice to know I'm not the only mama who thinks having a pet is an important teaching tool for families.

Check out the episode below! Diane--as usual, you rock my world :) Love this series from POPSUGAR and Kia, I'm looking forward to more episodes and to stealing a few online minutes to hear fresh perspectives of family, parenthood, and this crazy journey we call "raising kids."

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Kia through their partnership with Circle of Moms. While I was compensated to review the Kia Motors video and write a review, all opinions are my own.

Swinging into Spring

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 04:57:00 +0000

Sometimes finding balance is the hardest thing in the world.

And sometimes, it's simple.

As winter turns to spring, new chapters are opening everywhere. I'm excited for the unwritten pages that lay ahead of me. I'm even more excited to have finally found the balance I needed to bring me back here, to a space that remains close to my heart even when life takes me farther away than I'd like.

Looking forward to a new season and new opportunities to share my journeys here. Wishing everyone a very happy spring!

Stay tuned ;)

Baby2Baby Give Back Wednesdays

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 04:47:00 +0000

2013 is off to a great start (everywhere except in the blogging department, but I swear that's about to change.) There's a lot I want to accomplish this year, a lot I want to challenge myself with. Part of my new year's manifesto was to keep living life better, and giving back to my community is one of the ways I plan to put those words into action.

Baby2 Baby is Los Angeles-based non-profit that supplies local families in need with essential baby gear and clothing for children up to age 12. By distributing new and gently used items to over 50 non-profit organizations including homeless and domestic violence shelters, Head Start programs and hospitals, Baby2Baby serves over 50,000 children each year.

Social workers can come in and handpick items for the families they work with. Thanks to generous donations from companies like Huggies, Enfamil and Munchkin, there are brand-new baby items like diapers, formula and toys that make a world of difference to parents who are struggling to make ends meet.

One of my dearest friends is a director for this incredible charity. Thanks to her efforts, Baby2Baby has launched a weekly volunteer event called Give Back Wednesdays, where people can drop in, drink some coffee, roll up their sleeves and spend a couple of hours making a real difference in the lives of children in need. Give Back Wednesdays are all about getting groups of friends together to hang out and do some good at the same time. Every time I go, I feel happier, lighter, and a little bit better about the world. There's a long way to go and a lot of work to be done, but even small moments of awareness and giving add up to something huge.

At the "Giving Tree," we get the opportunity to create gift bags for individual children based on their specific needs and interests. There are no words for how gratifying it is to fill a bag with swaddle blankets, soft toys and onesies for a newborn baby girl, or to give a seven-year-old boy who might have no possessions to call his own some cool t-shirts, a stack of books and a box of Legos.

Female bonding AND sorting through tiny baby clothes? It just doesn't get much better. I couldn't be prouder of my friend Katie for the work that she does for Baby2Baby. She's literally changing the world one kid at a time. I'm grateful for the privilege of sharing the organization's dream and message here, and am excited to get more involved.

Give Back Wednesdays is a great way to help out a truly amazing organization. For my local readers, I hope to see some of you there in the weeks to come! If you're interested in getting involved in other ways, there are drop-off locations throughout Los Angeles for new or gently used baby goods, or you can host a donation drive yourself.

For more information, visit Baby2Baby's website here. And if you're in the mood for a good cry, watch this video clip and see some examples of how much good Baby2Baby is bringing to children all over Los Angeles.

Parrots in the Sky

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 05:48:00 +0000

Photo credit

"Mommy, look. There are parrots in the sky."

We were jogging across the street--car parked in a red zone, engine running, hazards on-- making a quick stop at the mailbox on the way to school so E could mail her valentines. (Remember the days when there was always a mailbox within walking distance? Not where we live. Not anymore.)

"Those aren't parrots, honey."

We were late, which was my fault, not hers, but I was rushing her anyway. She had circle time, I had a meeting, we should have mailed the valentines yesterday but the glitter glue wasn't dry. Everything runs late in our world lately. Even valentines.

"Mommy, yes they are! I can see them."

I scooped her up so she could reach the rusted blue metal mailbox door and helped her push the envelopes inside.

"No, honey. Parrots don't fly around in flocks. They live in the jungle. Or the zoo. Or the rainforest, or something. Those are crows. Or pigeons. Hurry up, get back in the car. We need to get to school."

E stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and folded her skinny arms inside her puffy winter coat, her "I'm not budging an inch until you listen to what I have to say" pose. I love that she has one. I wish I had one of my own.

"They are so parrots. I can see them with my own eyes. And you didn't even look up." She lifted a finger, bubble-gum pink nail polish almost all chipped off, and pointed to the sky, sounding patient and exasperated in the same breath.

Just like I often sound.

I looked up.

There were parrots in the sky.

Dozens and dozens of them, green feathered bodies with fluffy red heads and big cartoon eyes, cooing and grooming themselves, flying between telephone wires and hopping from branch to branch in the big palm trees that lined the street.

E didn't say "I told you so," which I appreciated. But she should have. Because I wasn't looking up. Because I told her she was wrong. I was all wrapped up in my own head and the time on my watch and the ten million things I should already have done that day. But E was looking up. Present in the moment, using her her very own eyes to see what was real instead of what was simply supposed to be there. Looking up at the sky on a beautiful gray morning at exactly the right moment to see a flock of wild parrots fly right over our heads.

"I love parrots, don't you?" she asked with a happy sigh, standing on tiptoe and opening her eyes wide to watch even harder. "They make me happy."

"They must be wild parrots. They make me happy, too," I said, hoisting her on to my shoulders.

We watched until the wild parrots flew away, all at once with no warning, just a harmony of squawks and flash of green feathers flying toward the horizon in a formation they must have practiced a thousand times before.

"Aren't you glad you looked up?" E asked as I buckled her back into her car seat, taking the time to straighten the straps, no longer able to remember what had been worth rushing for in the first place.

"I'm just glad you're here to remind me to," I told her with a kiss on her triumphant forehead.

"Wild parrots are the best," E said, watching the sky.

I know this won't be the last time I forget to look up, or the last time E will need to remind me. No matter how hard I try to be present in this life full of blessings, there will always be moments--far too many of them--when I forget, or I can't, or I just don't want to see what's right in front of me. But for all of my own failings, I'm managed to create a human being who lifts her gaze to the sky at the exact right moment to see what is beautiful and extraordinary and real.

And that, for now, feels like enough.

So She Hears Us

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 20:32:00 +0000

Today is my mother-in-law's birthday.

I say "is", because "was" doesn't feel good. Or accurate. But this is the first birthday she isn't here to celebrate.

Today feels harder than other days.

My husband disagrees. I'd been watching him closely in recent days, waiting for his grief--always hidden, always unspoken--to break its way to the surface as this day crept closer. In a way, I wanted it to break through. His grief, a hundred million times greater than my own, isn't something we talk about. He prefers it that way; respecting that is the only thing I can do for him. Wanting to help him, to take away some of his pain, isn't possible. Isn't enough. He says today is as hard as all the rest of them. And while I can't understand...I get it.

But still. Today came, and I came downstairs and lit a yarhzeit candle for Laurie. And then I made the coffee and poured milk into sippy cups and made E's lunch, because that's the way grief works--you move around it and with it, feeling guilty and conflicted for putting Sweet N Low in the bottom of a mug like you do every day even though it feels like the world should have stopped.

E came into the kitchen while I was lighting the candle and asked me what it was for. I told her it was Grammy's birthday and explained how the candle would burn for 24 hours while we remembered her.

"Can we sing Happy Birthday, Mommy?" she asked. "Really loud so we know she hears us?"

So we did. We sang 'Happy Birthday' really loud, so Grammy could hear us, and even N joined in, and then E decided to make her a birthday present with a box of markers and an empty milk bottle, and J came down as I was staring at the candle and crying.

I don't want my pain, so insignificant compared to his, to make J's worse. I can never find that balance between being supportive, and giving him the space I know he wants. Mention the candle? Don't mention it? When you are navigating someone else's grief, there are no right answers.

"Why are you crying, Mommy?" E asked, scribbling furiously at the side of the bottle with a "mint green" marker, which we'd decided was Grammy's favorite.

"It's Grammy's birthday today," J told her, letting me dodge the question. For a second, he looked sadder than usual. And then he didn't.

"I know Daddy, we sang to her. And I'm making her this milk bottle for a present."

"Should we have cupcakes tonight to celebrate? I think she'd like that," J said to E. She nodded vigorously, focused on her work.

"Can you pick up the dry cleaning today?" J asked me, his eyes resting on the candle for the briefest of moments.

"Yes," I said.

I meant so much more.

Today is Laurie's birthday, and we are celebrating, and grieving, and remembering...each of us in our own way. If there's one thing I'm learning about grief, it's that when there are no right answers, doing what feels right is the only option we have. So I picked up the dry cleaning, and J went to work, and we're having cupcakes for dinner.

The same, and different, as any other day.

Happy Birthday, Grammy.
We love you and miss you, today and every day.
And we're all going to eat buttercream frosting until our stomachs hurt to prove it.

The True Artist

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 23:52:00 +0000

I stood and watched her work. Her small brow furrowed with fierce intent, her lips pursed with concentration. She was drawing a crayon "masterpiece"...one side covered with hearts and trees and clouds, the other an abstract blitz of colors and lines that merged to form, according to E, "shapes and things no one has ever seen before."

"Look Mommy, I made the color brown. And look here, I made a crown for this heart to wear. And here there's a sun and a cloud and all these colors mixed up on this side means how much I love everything."

We had the incredible opportunity to visit pop artist Burton Morris' studio in Santa Monica today with E's preschool class. There's nothing quite like the enthusiasm of four and five-year-olds. And when it's combined the energy, enthusiasm and patience of a famous artist who also happens to be the dad of a preschooler himself?

It's nothing short of magic.

Burton gave us a tour of his studio and showed the kids a canvas he's working on that, when finished, will be a special donation to their school. Last month, he visited their classrooms to begin the creative process for the piece, talking to them about what was important in their lives, and then using their words and emotions to create a totally unique piece of pop art just for them.

He talked to them about being a kid who liked to draw, a kid who drew everything--what he was looking at, his morning bowl of cereal, the toys in his room. He explained how he takes everyday objects and ideas and makes them come to life through his art.

Then he made his way around the room, commenting on each kid's work, pointing out interesting elements in their crayon-and-paper creations. He encouraged them and praised them, answered every one of their (ten million) questions, and turned what might have been an ordinary field trip into an experience they'll never forget.

Watching E's face, I could see the glow of inspiration radiating from inside her, transforming her features with light and excitement and possibility. Seeing art all around her--art that she could understand and relate to, art that made sense in her world, like hearts and popcorn, ketchup bottles and cereal boxes and "look Mommy your favorite thing, coffee!"--was one of the best parenting moments I've ever had.

"Mommy," E said, surrounded by crayons, still furiously scribbling away. "I want to be a true artist when I grow up. I really, really do."

Close enough to hear her, Burton leaned down and put his hand on her shoulder.

"You are a true artist now," he whispered. And E lit up with the magic of a million dreams.

Thanks so much to Burton Morris for sharing his talent, his wisdom and his love for art with E's classroom today! You made a lot of kids feel happy and inspired and proud of their own abilities. And for this mom, who tries every day to teach my kids to work hard and dream big, this was the lesson of a lifetime.

For more information about Burton Morris and his work, click here.

Happy New Year!

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 05:56:00 +0000

Happy New Year!

2012 was one of the very best...and the very worst...years of my life. Incredible joy mixed with unspeakable grief. 365 days of happiness and pain and exhilaration and love and loss and triumph and failure.

For those reasons, and others, I'm not making resolutions this year. Instead, I'm working on a New Year's Manifesto (check out the details at Moonfrye here!)

No more unrealistic "resolutions" growing forgotten and dusty on a mental shelf, useless by Valentine's Day. No more wishful thinking about my jean size, my bank account, or my coffee consumption.

I just want to be healthy..and happy...and real.

And then, I think, the rest of it will just fall into place.

So far, the final hours of 2012 and the first day of 2013 have been perfect, spent laughing and enjoying the company of good friends. And tonight, we rang in the year right at GG's house with matzo ball soup from Nate 'n Al's...so far, so good!

Yesterday I started a running program which is designed to take me from the couch (who knew extreme Candyland didn't count as cardio?!) to running (well, maybe *jogging*) a 5K in nine weeks. I completed my first workout yesterday. It almost killed me. But I did it. And I'm going to do it again tomorrow.

I'm making some other changes too, as part of my Manifesto. To spend more time smiling and less time feeling guilty, to make healthy changes in my life that aren't about being "skinny" but about feeling amazing from the inside out. I want to work hard, play hard, love hardest of all. I want to practice gratitude, find beauty in the chaos, and see meaning in the ordinary, every single day.

I'll be blogging about some specific changes and how they turn out (almond milk in my cup of Dunkin this morning...yikes!)

And in the meantime, I'm wishing you all love, joy, health and good karma in 2013!

Happy New Year, everyone!

Facebook Privacy, Photo Tagging and Maple Soy Salmon: A Tale With Two Morals

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Fri, 28 Dec 2012 04:26:00 +0000

Recently, Facebook has come under fire for its ever-confusing privacy features. As someone who blogs publicly but keeps her personal Facebook profile locked pretty tight, I get it. We all want to pretend we have control.

It seems even the Zuckerberg family has difficulty interpreting the nuances of Facebook privacy. A holiday photo, posted by Randi on her personal page, was leaked to the general public via Twitter by a friend of her sister's. Why? Because her sister was tagged in the post...which meant that any of her sister's friends could view (and theoretically share) the image.

Digital etiquette aside, there is a lesson to be learned here: know who might be looking BEFORE you hit "upload."

Which brings me to the real reason for this post: the most amazing salmon I've ever made.

That's right: thanks to a friend of mine being tagged in a Facebook photo (which happened to be a recipe for salmon), I was able to see the post--and the recipe. It looked so delicious I made it for dinner tonight.

And it was AMAZING.

So. Thanks to Facebook's shady privacy policies, and my friend Dawn, and her friend Jolene, we had awesome Maple Soy Salmon for dinner tonight, which BOTH my kids ate and loved, which surely has to be some sort of post-Christmas miracle. The morals of the story are these:

1) Photo tagging can be used for good (Facebook recipe stealing = genius)

2) If it's private? DON'T PUT IT ON THE INTERNET.

Public service announcements are over for the day :) Recipe (no attribution since the photo didn't say where it came from) appears below!

Maple Soy Salmon**

6 (6 oz) boneless skinless salmon fillets
1/4 maple syrup (NOT pancake syrup, the real kind!)
1/4 cup crushed pineapple, squeezed dry
3 TBSP soy sauce
2 TBSP Dijon mustard
1 TBSP olive oil
2 cloves fresh garlic, minced

Preheat oven to 375 F.
Rinse the salmon and place on a parchment paper-lined jelly roll pan. Pat dry with paper towels.
In a medium bowl, whisk together maple syrup, pineapple, soy sauce, mustard, olive oil and garlic.
Pour over salmon and bake, uncovered, for 15 minutes.
Transfer to serving platter. Drizzle with pan juices. Serve hot or at room temperature.

**Not actually the name of the recipe, but the tagged photo in question didn't show the title so I had to improvise.

Note: Not that my absences are all that unusual lately, but this last one was less about time management and more about emotional healing. The horrific events at Sandy Hook Elementary left me with an uncharacteristic aversion to all things social media. In the weeks that have followed, I've spent a lot of time holding my little ones close and trying to put kindness back into a world where evil has destroyed the lives of so many. But turning my back on things I love lets evil win, too. So I'm back, blogging about the silly things that make life sweet.

So Many Tears

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Sat, 15 Dec 2012 04:41:00 +0000

So many tears.
So many hugs.
So many questions.

This morning I dropped my daughter off at school and worried about her separation issues with her best friend, and whether her sweatshirt would be warm enough, and if she'd eat the green beans I put in her lunchbox.

This afternoon I thanked God she was alive when I came to pick her up again.

How was your day, baby girl?

It was great! We sang and I played family and I ate up all my lunch. And I made you a picture, Mommy. Just for you.

Tonight the glow of my son's golden curls in the fading light made my heart clench so hard it took my breath away.

Tonight the sight of my daughter's pillow, still indented with the shape of her tiny head, made me sob.

He was playing with a plastic bulldozer on the living room floor. She was standing on a stool at the bathroom sink, brushing her teeth with her Strawberry Shortcake toothbrush.

They are here, and so magically, absolutely alive that after I read them books with a choked-up voice and kissed them goodnight too many times, I crumpled to the floor in the hallway outside their bedrooms and collapsed under the weight of thousand tears that were equal parts gratitude and heartbreak.

All of my love and prayers go to the Sandy Hook community tonight. Please know that the world grieves with you. There are no words to describe any of this. If there were, they still wouldn't be enough.

Happy 2nd Birthday, N!

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Mon, 10 Dec 2012 04:43:00 +0000

Dear N,

It breaks my heart not to type "Baby" N anymore, but I can't deny it any longer. You'll always be my baby...but you just aren't a baby anymore.

You are two years old and you are amazing.

You are affectionate and silly and mischievous and wise. You love cookies and "squeezy" applesauce and cucumbers and pretending to blow your nose. Your whole face lights up when you see a helicopter in the sky. You're obsessed with anything that moves: "choo-choo trains" and motorcycles, airplanes and the washing machine and the dog.

You talk. A lot. Your sentences stretched from two words to thee, four, five words practically overnight. Sometimes you need Mommy as an interpreter between you and the rest of the world, but you make yourself understood. You get the world around you in a way that blows my mind. You are so little and you understand so much. Something you say astonishes me every single day.

You were the world's least cuddly infant. You never wanted to be held or snuggled. You never rested your head on my shoulder or fell asleep in my arms the way I thought babies were supposed to. You were always wriggling, squirming, trying to move, trying to get away.

And then you became a toddler, and everything changed. You learned to walk, to run, to jump up and down. And I expected you to move farther from me still. But you didn't. You ran straight to me and held on tight. Now every morning you crawl into my arms and stay there as long as you can, saying "I hold you" and clinging to me like a baby koala, cuddly but with a ferocious grip. You sit in my lap and rest your head on my shoulder and sometimes, when you're in the middle of playing, you will drop whatever you're doing, launch yourself at me and hug me so hard you almost knock me over. And then you'll dash off again to finish whatever it was you were doing in the first place.

You give kisses like rain, hundreds of them. You bless me when I sneeze and hold me when I cry. You are part toddler and part old, wise man. You are a sweet, compassionate brother to E, except when you get frustrated and pull her hair or hit her, and then we all get sad. But before the words "No Hit" are even out of my mouth, you are kissing her and stroking her and saying "Is OK, E. I sorry." You can a spin a situation so fast in your favor it's scary. You are going to give all of us one hell of a ride.

Your favorite song is "Blanket Kid," which we've listened to so many times I hear it in my dreams. You sing along, every word, at the top of your lungs, and laugh like crazy when Blanket Kid uses "super breath" because you like making the huffing and puffing sound. You love music, love instruments, love dancing, even though right now 'dancing', to you, means jumping up and down on both feet with your butt sticking out until you get exhausted and fall over on the floor.

You like to count out loud and sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and sneak up on people and yell "SURPRISE," then take off giggling. You sleep with Dora and Giraffie every night, but every day you get more curious, more sophisticated, more brave. You started your birthday with your first black eye, from taking a tumble down the slide at Mommy and Me into the corner of a picnic table. Mommy was a mess all day, but you cried for five minutes, held an ice pack to your own cheek, then asked for a tissue. You patted your own tears, wiped your own nose, handed me back the tissue and ran right back into the room for another trip down the very same slide.

You are determined. Sometimes stubborn. Sometimes really, really stubborn. You challenge me. Test my patience in ways I'd never dreamed possible. But then you smile at me and my whole heart cracks open and sunshine pours in. You are that sunshine, the light that fills up my soul and completes me. You are joy.

I love you, not-a-baby N. Happy 2nd Birthday. Wishing you a million more.

love,
Mommy

Ringing in the New Year Snoopy-Style at Knott's New Year's Eve

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Mon, 10 Dec 2012 04:16:00 +0000

Snoopy is a big deal in our house.

J and I were both raised on Peanuts comic strips and Charlie Brown movies. E is addicted to "Charlie Brown Christmas" and "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" (thank goodness for DVR!)

When we moved to LA, we were thrilled to be so close to Snoopy's "home" at Knott's Berry Farm, where we've hung with the Peanuts gang for Halloween, Valentine's Day, and lots of fun-filled days in between. Spending the day with our little ones at Camp Snoopy has become one of our favorite ways to spend some extra-special family time.

This year, we're really excited to be spending another holiday celebrating with Snoopy: New Year's Eve!

Before kids, I used to love New Year's Eve. Champagne and high heels, glitter and Auld Lang Syne at midnight at a trendy club or a fancy restaurant...it was one of the best nights of the year.

After kids? Let's be honest: New Year's Eve just isn't the same. Early bedtimes for little ones and the sudden, dramatic absence of every babysitter in the city of Los Angeles has meant that for the past few years, J and I have ordered Chinese takeout and watched the New York ball drop at 9pm (because the kids wake up at 6:00AM every day, new year or not.)

But THIS year, Knott's has given us an awesome way to celebrate as a family, in the daylight hours, with Snoopy and the gang! We're going to start our day early (the festivities begin at 10AM) to check out "Happy New Year, Charlie Brown" at the Camp Snoopy Theatre and the "It's Christmas, Snoopy" skating show. The kids are excited to go on their favorite rides (airplanes for E, trucks for N) and then, at dusk, the "Snoopy's Magical Night of Lights" New Year's shows begin.

Knott's New Year's Eve is a fantastic, family-friendly way to ring in the New Year if your kids don't like to party past 7pm or your babysitter refuses to bail you out. For families looking to extend the fun, there's also a magician, salsa and line dancing, and even a countdown to a live fireworks show at midnight to ring in 2013!

(We, of course, will be home in bed by then. The nice part about being New Yorkers at heart is that once the ball drops in Time Square, we're OK with calling it a night!)

But at least we'll have done plenty of celebrating with Snoopy before that :)

For more info on Knott's New Year's Eve, visit their website here.

DISCLOSURE: We were invited by Knott's to celebrate Knott's New Year's Eve as their guests. All opinions, as always, are my own.

2012 Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide for Bloggers

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 05:30:00 +0000

It's that time of year again.

The time when your favorite female blogger--head spinning from social media overload, eyes glazed from too many hours staring at a screen--could probably use a little extra pampering. A reminder that she's still loved and appreciated, no matter how much of a tech-obsessed, Instagram-addicted nutcase she might be the rest of the year.

Ahem.

No idea where to start? Due to popular demand, my holiday gift guide for bloggers is back :)

The very best thing might be to drag her (kicking and screaming if necessary) away from her computer, confiscate her iPhone, and temporarily block access to her Twitter account...then force her to go outside, breathe fresh air, drink a gingerbread latte and absorb some in-real-life holiday cheer. Light a menorah, trim a tree, sing some carols, go for a walk, go to yoga, get a massage...just as long as it's far, far away from a keyboard and a wireless connection.

But if that's not likely to happen, I've compiled my second guide to great holiday gifts for bloggers. If you have a blogger in your life, check out some of my suggestions below. And if you ARE a blogger, feel free to use this post as an excuse to pamper yourself just a little bit.

Seriously.
Because you deserve it.

Eternal Life

Source: brookstone.com

Well, not really. But battery life, which in today's digital world, may as well be the same thing. A big thanks to my friend Andrea of Savvy Sassy Moms, who told me about the awesome backup battery pack from Brookstone that works with all of your digital devices--and looks cool, too. I have to admit it...I'm sort of obsessed with this thing. Small enough to slip into your bag and carry all the time, but powerful enough to give your dead phone a full charge, this digital accessory comes in four colors to blend fashion with function. ((In case anyone was wondering, the blue one is my favorite...) Best of all, while it's designed for iPhone and iPod devices, it comes with three different attachments so it will charge most smartphones and your Kindle, too. Genius.

Sound Style

The past couple of months, coffee shops have been my home-office-away-from-home. What better place to escape than one where I can't hear the kids and the caffeine flows freely? But even there, there are distractions. Ever tried working in a Starbucks without headphones? Yeah, not so much. But there's no reason to have the same boring white pair everyone else is using. These adorable customized earbuds make noise cancelling into a fashion statement. And yes, it's very true that this is a DIY project waiting to happen (hello, friendship bracelet making circa 1987, welcome to century 21) but since it's unlikely I'll find the time like, ever, I'm putting these on my wish list.

Caffeinate AND Hydrate...On the Go!

Forget bloggers...travel mugs are lifestyle necessity for pretty much anybody. This brilliant bottle from Bamboo Bottle Company lets you carry hot OR cold beverages in the same sleek, BPA-free and environmentally-friendly container. With three different available tops (classic, flip top and hot) you adjust your mug to your schedule. Crafted in beautiful bamboo with a removable, dishwasher-safe glass insert, this bamboo travel mug is on my must-list this year.

Never Lose Anything Again

Well, OK. That statement doesn't apply to car keys, Barbie shoes, or your mind. But when it comes to saving digital files, Dropbox has been an absolute lifesaver for me, especially while I've been writing the book. With constant, real time backup plus the ability to sync across all my devices, Dropbox has made my chaotic life way more manageable. I can also edit and share my stuff from anywhere, even my phone! It's an easy download and the first 18GB are free, but the Pro version is also reasonably priced and makes a great gift. If you know someone who, like me, writes hundreds of pages and takes thousands of photographs, definitely keep Dropbox Pro in mind. I'm thankful every day that I upgraded my account (and to Dad, for referring me there in the first place. Thanks Dad!)

Warm Hands, Fast Fingers: Cold Weather Gear for the Tech Generation

I admit it..I have the teeniest obsession with fingerless gloves. Mostly because my hands get cold while I'm typing or texting, indoors and out, all the time. Cold fingers make me less productive, but gloves get in the way. While I've yet to actually acquire a pair, fingerless gloves are still one of my favorite concepts ever. This year's pick are from Nordstrom...super cute and affordable, too!

Remind Her of the Little Things

...or the little ones, in this case. When bloggers are trapped in front of their computers all day, simple reminders of the people we love most are especially important. Which is why I fell in love with this brass initial ring from Etsy, first spotted in Us Weekly. Doesn't it make all that typing seem so much prettier?

Embrace the Instagram Obsession

Chances are, your blogger isn't going to give up her love affair with Instagram. Or her iPhone, either. So why not give her a gift that celebrates both with this adorable (bamboo again, my favorite!) IG Addict iPhone case from Hatchcraft? Based on the crazy popular OneStep Rainbow Land camera, made by Polaroid in the '70s, this sleek iPhone case is sturdy, sleek, and a dream to hold. Plus what better way to take Instagram photos than with a case that pays homage to the phone that started it all? Bonus: it's currently on sale!

Spread the Word

You know how fabulous your favorite blogger is. Now it's time to let the rest of the world know, too. I discovered MOO brand business cards this year during BlogHer, where they were awesome enough to make me a batch of Mini MOO cards for the conference... for free. They're the perfect size to grab and go, and the super-easy design tool lets you make unique, professional cards in minutes.

Lip Luxury

OK, this isn't just for bloggers. This amazing lip balm is one of my favorite gifts to give, period. I can't live without Rosebud Salve. There's one at my desk, one in my car, one in my bag, one on my nightstand...I also use it for kinds of other things, like cuts and scrapes, blemishes, on my ragged cuticles...I've even been known to smear it on as diaper cream in emergencies (shhh...don't tell.) Dry lips at the keyboard are a blogger's worst nightmare. OK, OK, maybe they're just mine. Either way, soft lips are highly useful for kissing babies, boo-boos, and all sort of other things. And people :)

Keeping Memories...the Old Fashioned Way

I take So. Many. Photographs. If you follow me on Instagram, you know what I mean...there are simply hundreds and hundreds of them. Smartphone photography is my very favorite things. The only problem? The memories are trapped in my phone, sometimes forever. Even when I remember to download them to Dropbox or Shutterfly, they're still trapped in the digital world. Wouldn't it be nice to hold those memories in your hand once in a while? This super cool wireless smartphone printer lets you do just that. Just connect to the device over your home wireless networks and print your images instantly! Next up, DIY photo frame crafting with the kiddos...

Or Vice Versa

And what about all those amazing pictures you took....BEFORE you could upload them instantly to all your social media networks? This very cool iPhone photo scanner lets you take old photographs and scan them as JPG files directly to your phone, where you can Instagram, tweet, and Facebook tag away. Won't your third grade elementary school class be pleased?

Hope this post helped with the blogger on your holiday shopping list. Got suggestions of our own? Leave them in the comments...I have a blogger or two on my own list! ;)

Disclosure: None! All of the products listed here are my personal picks for the 2012 holiday season. Amazon links are, as always, affiliate links.

Exciting News at Moonfrye!

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Tue, 04 Dec 2012 19:38:00 +0000

I'm almost back.

And before I make it official and start filling up this space with posts that have been begging to be written for months, I have some news to share about another project close to my heart, Moonfrye.com.

As some of you know, I'm the editorial director for Moonfrye, and for the past year we've been gearing up for some exciting changes. Yesterday, thanks to the amazing Moonfrye team, a collection of some of the best contributors on the internet, and the very talented Soleil Moon Frye herself, the new site launched and we couldn't be prouder.

I hope you'll bear with me for a few more days of Karma silence as I race toward my book deadline. And then, hopefully, come up for a little bit of air :)

In the meantime, please check out the fabulous content and contributors over at Moonfrye!

Thankful.

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Thu, 22 Nov 2012 15:45:00 +0000

It has been a year of joy and sorrow. Of devastating loss and of dreams coming true. And through it all I have been humbled, every day, to know how deeply and truly blessed we are.

To be here.
To have each other.
To travel this road, and live this life, together.

For my beautiful, incredible husband and children, who inspire me every day.
For my cherished friends and family, who teach me and love me and believe in me and never let me fall.
For my home, my neighborhood, my community, my country.
For coffee and wine, yoga and electricity, sidewalks and skinny jeans, fuzzy slippers and sushi and peanut butter cups.

I wake up every day grateful.

And today, even more so.

Wishing everyone a warm and wonderful Thanksgiving!

Kiss your loved ones (for real or from afar), eat some turkey, take a deep breath...and be thankful.

Ivan Turkonovich. Sacred family tradition. Mom and Dad, we miss you!

The Kids Are All Right

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Wed, 14 Nov 2012 05:06:00 +0000

...thank God.

Being a mom and chasing my own dreams at the same time is literally the hardest and most confusing and most frustrating thing I've ever done.

It's been so crazy around here that I'm forgetting to shower. Forgetting to eat. Forgetting to breathe.

But what I'm not forgetting--not for one single second--that these two are who I live and dream and laugh and fight for. Even when I'm losing it, a little. Or a lot. Even when I have to try five times as hard to be half as good as I think should be.

So I get up at 4AM, when the house is dark and quiet and night-still. I drink my coffee and write and delete and get frustrated and take deep breaths and start all over again. Then, at 6AM, they're up, and it's breakfast-get dressed-go to school-go to baby class-write-lunch-nap-write-school-write-dinner-bath-puzzles-stories-pajamas-teeth-one more kiss Mommy, PLEASE.

And then the day ends, and I kiss them goodnight and tuck them into bed, and watch their sweet faces while they sleep. And everything feels right again.

Write again.

There is light at the end of the tunnel and a rainbow waiting for all of us when the storm is over.
Also, I plan to start showering again.
It's the small things, I tell you...