Karma's Virtual Visage

2009-10-16T01:47:00.000-07:00

Many Deepavali festivals have come and gone. Yet the hearts of the vast majority are as dark as the night of the new moon. The house is lit with lamps, but the heart is full of the darkness of ignorance. O man! wake up from the slumber of ignorance. Realize the constant and eternal light of the Soul which neither rises nor sets, through meditation and deep enquiry.

“Let this diwali burn all your bad times and enter you in good times”

HAPPY DEEPAVALI

The Dog That Couldn't Bark

2009-09-28T18:40:00.000-07:00

Love is, above all, the gift of oneself.

~Jean Anouilh

Many years ago, in what appears to be a different lifetime now, I had a friend named Jonathan who lived only a few houses down the street. He was a cool kid and a real pal, and in retrospect I can see that he had all the usual qualities and hang-ups of a typical boy. He was fun to be with because of his innocent enthusiasm, and he knew all the best places to hang out in the neighbourhood, but he also had severe acne that made him self-conscious, and his round face often looked like a ripe honeydew melon that sprouted bright red raisins.

The best part about Jonathan, though, was his dog. This is not to say that my friend was any less memorable than his pet, but that dog had a very peculiar quality about him. A friendly Bulldog that never met anyone he didn't like, or immediately want to lick, Bowzer was born without any vocal chords. It was a freak of nature, and a congenital condition that had no plausible explanation, but here was a dog that simply couldn't bark. He would yap his mouth all day long like any canine, but no sound ever came out. Jonathan's parents affectionately used to refer to their pet as "the mute brute."

Even though he couldn't make any sounds, Bowzer sure made his presence known anyway. We couldn't play a pickup baseball game in the neighbourhood park without an extra infielder, outfielder, base runner, or ballboy running around on four paws like his life depended on bumping into every single player on the field, regardless of which team that player played on. For all of us, it became an accepted part of our playtime that Bowzer would somehow be involved in whatever activity we decided on.

Except for the local public swimming pool, of course. Jonathan never had a need to tie Bowzer to a leash and to wrap the leash around a tree or a post, because we all knew there was no way that Bowzer would run away. Oh no. If that dog had fingers and feet, I could swear that he would have climbed that chain-link fence to come frolic with us in the water.

Then, one day, something terrible happened to Jonathan, and we all had to grow up much too quickly. His parents were called away to the hospital because his grandmother was ill, and so Jonathan was left at home by himself. It was early in the evening and no one really thought anything bad could happen to him. But, as it turned out, two men had chosen that house for an unannounced visit.

Soon after his parents locked all the doors and left in their car, with Jonathan securely ensconced inside their home, the men broke into the house from the back door, with theft on their mind. Jonathan's family wasn't super rich, but even as a kid I could tell they had nice things in their house. I suppose the robbers thought so, too.

Jonathan was in his bedroom and heard the noise from the break-in, and maybe because he panicked, he didn't yell or scream for help. Bowzer was in the bedroom also, and heard the noise as well, but because of his birth defect, he couldn't make a sound. I bet, though, that his face was yapping like mad. Had the robbers heard a dog barking, maybe things would have turned out differently.

As Jonathan tells the story, the robbers made their way through the entire house and probably figured that no one was home. Maybe, just maybe, they would leave before they came to Jonathan's bedroom. But no such luck.

One of the robbers opened the door to Jonathan's bedroom, and was startled to find a boy huddled amongst the pillows of his bed. The robber was even more startled though to discover a fifty-pound Bulldog charging at him. Maybe Bowzer couldn't bark, but that didn't mean he didn't have teeth. And, as Jonathan recalls, it certainly didn't mean that Bowzer was not intent on taking as big a bite out of that robber as he could.

With an angry dog chewing on his arm, the robber began yelling in pain. The second robber suddenly appeared, and that's when Jonathan saw the gun. The last thing he remembers is hearing one gunshot. And then it all went black.

Jonathan survived that horrific episode, luckily, without any physical scars, but he was never the same afterwards. He lost his youthful enthusiasm and innocence. He lost the desire to play and was seldom seen in our usual hang-out spots. He eventually lost his acne as well, and his awkwardness. But, even now as an adult in mid-life, he still mourns the greatest loss of all.

That gunshot had a target, and the target wasn't Jonathan. After that night of the break-in, the dog that couldn't bark never even yapped his face anymore. He didn't run around a baseball diamond like a demon. He didn't pretend he could bore a hole through a chain-link fence to play with us in the water of a swimming pool. The only thing Bowzer got for defending his territory and protecting his master was a nine millimeter bullet through the heart.

The robbers were arrested and jailed a few days after the break-in. Jonathan's parents never left him alone in the house again, and they never got another dog, either. How could you replace a dog like Bowzer?

Whenever Jonathan and I cross paths now, we reminisce about the many good times, and the one bad time. And it never fails to move us to tears to talk about Bowzer and his courage. The lesson has stayed with us always: some things are irreplaceable. It doesn't matter that we're both grown men now and that some people believe men aren't supposed to cry. The memory of Bowzer is worth every single tear of laughter and sadness.

By the way, if you're wondering what profession Jonathan chose, it should not come as a surprise. He's a veterinary doctor. Me? I became a lawyer, and I sit on the board of an animal shelter. Every once in a while a Bulldog comes through the shelter. I call Jonathan to see if he wants to volunteer that day. There's no need to tell him why, and he never asks. He just shows up, in memory of Bowzer.

~Joseph Civitella~

Chicken Soup For The Soul

Peace and Wisdom Quotes

2009-09-24T02:27:00.001-07:00

Deposit Record Of A Marriage

2009-09-06T04:43:00.000-07:00

Jocelyn married William this day. At the end of the wedding party, Jocelyn's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook. With $1000 deposit amount. Mother: 'Jocelyn, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with William. When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'

Jocelyn shared this with William when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made. This was what they did after certain time: - 7 Feb: $100, first birthday celebration for William after marriage - 1 Mar: $300, salary raise for Jocelyn - 20 Mar: $200, vacation trip to Bali - 15 Apr: $2000, Jocelyn got pregnant - 1 Jun: $1000, William got promoted ..... and so on...

However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the most nasty people in the world.... no more love...Kind of typical nowadays, huh?
One day Jocelyn talked to her Mother: 'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!'

Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.' Jocelyn thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account. While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home. When she was home, she handed the passbook to William, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce. The next day, William gave the passbook back to Jocelyn. She found a new deposit of $5000. And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness you've brought me.'

They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe. Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.

"When you fall, Don't see the place where you fell, Instead see the place from where you slipped. Life is about correcting mistakes."

Hope U enjoyed this story as much as I did.

Merdeka Merdeka Merdeka

2009-08-28T09:43:00.001-07:00

Happy Celebration!!!

August 31st our nations initiation

we celebrate the birth of a dream

lets make a wish for strength of a country

so our next generations can celebrate this day

many years from now

with the true meaning of

MALAYSIA

not only merely uttered in words

but lived in every sense and deed

we are truly proud to be Malaysians

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY MALAYSIA!!!

here is my National Day wishes 1 Malaysia's style to all of you

"Selamat menyambut Hari Kemerdekaan"

"Yen iniya Thesiya Thinam Valthukal"

"Guo Qing Re"

Happy holidays.

To all Malaysians, enjoy the compilation of the 15 short films n feel at home.

To all my friends from the others countries I hope you enjoy it to. A piece of Malaysia put forward to you.

Happy viewing and feel free to leave your comments.

When I Asked God..........................

2009-08-09T07:48:00.000-07:00

When I Asked God for Strength
He Gave Me Difficult Situations to Face
When I Asked God for Brain & Brown
He Gave Me Puzzles in Life to Solve
When I Asked God for Happiness
He Showed Me Some Unhappy People
When I Asked God for Wealth
He Showed Me How to Work Hard
When I Asked God for Favors
He Showed Me Opportunities to Work Hard
When I Asked God for Peace
He Showed Me How to Help Others
God Gave Me Nothing I Wanted
He Gave Me Everything I Needed

- Swami Vivekananda

How to become an Ideal Friend

2009-08-02T02:46:00.000-07:00

Its not easy becoming a friend or making one because a friend is not a state of mind. Its real and its in your face. A friend is someone who makes your life worth its while a little more than yesterday. While everybody has their own definitions of a "friend", the long and short of it is we all need friends to make our lives better.

HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY...In friendship "honesty" is the key word. One should always be honest to his or her friends.Don't overlook their faults, even if you have none for you are his friend!Praise them honestly and openly.Say you're sorry, when you hurt your friend. Don't let them assume it.

GIVE MORE THAN YOU TAKE...Be there when they need you or you may wind up alone.Love them unconditionally, that is the only condition. Make them feel special, because aren't we all special? Never forget them, who wants to feel forgotten.

BE SUPPORTIVE... Cheer them on, we all need encouragement now and then. Encourage their dreams and aspiration, Life seems almost meaningless without them.Your words count, use them wisely.Use good judgement.Wish them luck, hopefully good Eamine your motives before you "help" outJust be there when they need youReally listen, a friendly ear is a soothing balm FORGIVENESS...Forgive them for, "To Err is Human", and you just may end up making the same mistakes in course of time..

KEEP THE FAITH...Have faith in them. For, there is no love without trust.Zip your lips when they confide in you EXPRESS YOURSELF CLEARLYKnow when they need a hug, and couldn't you use one? Offer to help, and know when " No thanks" is just politeness Quietly disagree, noisy No's make enemies Verbalsise your feelings

HAVE FUN...Get together often, misery loves company, so does glee.Talk frequently, communication is important. Enjoying your friendship is the order of the day. So its not what we call a friendship if you don't feel right.Always remember a friendship is worth it when you are able to enjoy the amazing relationship with no holds barred. Its a mutual bond for life that you cant give up.

" HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY"

Hope

2009-07-12T03:25:00.000-07:00

I cannot and I will not lie down and kneel before my life. I cannot and I will not let the destiny that life has dealt me be the only destiny worth living for. I am ME, you are YOU, we are distinct and we are individuals. I will carve my own destiny and I will dream my own dreams. I will walk bare footed through the warm golden sand, sleep naked under the stars and listen to the sea as it lashes against the rocks of hypocrisy. I will let the wind play with my hair and be at one with nature. This is my island and it is called HOPE.

As long as I am alive, I have hope. There is a chance, there is a dream to be fulfilled and a life worth living. I aspire not for wealth, for success, to conquer lands or the minds of men but seek refugee in conquering myself. I seek refugee in the hope of touching the stars in the blackness of the night. I ask for the courage to confront my greatest enemy, myself. I ask for the courage to help me to realise the potential that burns within my soul.

As I walk along my island of hope, alone, with merely my thoughts and the sound of my beating heart, who have I become and what am I to become? As the sun sets on the horizon, there is calm all around me. The day nears to an end and slowly the sky goes black. Through the darkness appear the glittering eyes of the world and they gaze down at me, the moon smiles at me yet I am me. An eagle flies above me with its wings of hope spread wide into the vastness and emptiness of the ocean in front of me.

I am finally at peace with my soul. My island, which I have strove to seek all my life, is now within my grasp. I have arrived. My island is a place of non-attachment and non-possession. It is a place of calmness where the pains of yesterday are but a distant memory. I have courage within my heart to face my ultimate destiny. As it looks at me, I smile at it. I no longer fear that which I once feared, I no longer yearn for more but am content with what I have gained; I no longer yearn for a life of the past. I look at the demons within me and I have defeated them and they have not defeated me. I have finally conquered myself.

I now embrace my island without regret and walk into my destiny. I have been born, I have lived, I have loved and been loved, I have failed and succeeded, and I have forgiven. There is nothing more for me to do. I have become what I essentially was at birth, myself. I close my eyes and my soul transpires out of my body and takes me to a higher level of existence. I leave the pains of the world and embrace the wonders of what lie in front of me. A teardrop falls from my soul into the ocean, that is how it was created. I cease to exist.

* Specially dedicated to my friend Alagar*

Health

2009-07-12T03:13:00.000-07:00

You are a magnet attracting to you all things, via the signal you are emitting through your thoughts and feelings.

To open yourself up and become a powerful magnet to wellness and health from wherever you are now:
Love yourself! Deeply, profoundly!

Make lists of all the wonderful things about you.

Add to it every day.

Free yourself of any past resentments or disappointments you may be holding about you.
Let go of any and all resentments from the past you may be holding of everyone and everything.
See yourself as completely well in your mind and visualize yourself doing things in a complete state of perfect health.
Do not speak of your illness, or disease with others.

Love and appreciate everything and everyone, and especially yourself.
Know you have the power within you to heal yourself.
Never criticize or blame yourself or anyone else for anything.
Be grateful for the wellbeing that is coming to you.
See yourself as only well.

Be happy, knowing that in your state of happiness your body is healing itself.
As you appreciate, as you love, as you are happy, as you are grateful, you are summoning wellbeing and it is pouring through your body and disease is vanishing in the moment.

Laugh!

Hire funny movies or recall any memories that make you laugh.

Laugh your way back to health.

Make lists every day of all the things you are grateful for, including being grateful for your healing and complete wellbeing.

You must do whatever you can to remove your attention from disease.
Distract yourself from thoughts of disease, and put all of your focus and attention on doing things that make you feel good.

Make your happiness the number one thing in your life.
Resist nothing, love everything!

Know that there is no such thing as incurable.
As you love completely and feel the joy within you, disease cannot exist.
Know and accept that you are PERFECT as you are right now.

Relationships

2009-07-11T09:01:00.000-07:00

You can completely transform any relationship, no matter what it's like right now.

Every single relationship you have is a reflection of how you feel inside about you.

You are a magnet attracting to you all things, via the signal you are emitting through your thoughts and feelings.

Every relationship you have and every interaction with every person, is a reflection of your own thoughts and feelings in that very moment.

To transform every single relationship you have in your life:

Fall in love with YOU!

Make lists of hundreds and hundreds of wonderful things about you.

Keep adding to it every day.

Know that you are perfect.

Do not think any negative thoughts about you.
Know that you are worthy and deserving of anything and everything you could possibly want in your life.

Focus on the wonderful things in every person.

Look for only those things.
Do not blame or criticize anybody, ever.

Set an intention that you are going to see the best in everything and everyone.
Make your happiness the number one thing in your life.

Happiness is an inside job.

Free yourself of the responsibility of trying to make other people happy.

Respect and love them enough to allow them to take care of their own happiness.

Get your attention off those things in others that don't make you feel good.
Appreciate and love yourself in every moment you can.
Do not expect others to behave in a way you want, so you will be happy.

Release yourself forever more and know that you alone control your happiness and it is a choice, no matter what anyone else is doing.
Love and respect yourself completely.
Know that you are perfect right now.

Money

2009-07-09T22:14:00.000-07:00

Money is magnetic energy.

You are a magnet attracting to you all things, via the signal you are emitting through your thoughts and feelings.

To become a powerful money magnet:
Be clear about the amount of money you want to receive.

State it and intend it!

Don’t think about how much you can earn, but how much you want to receive.

Fall in love with money.

Most people do not love money, because they always feel that they don't have enough of it.

Visualize and imagine yourself spending all the money you want, as though you have it already.

Speak, act, and think from the mindset of being wealthy now.

Eliminate thoughts and words of lack such as "I can't afford it", "It is too expensive".

Do not speak or think of the lack of money for a single second.

Be grateful for the money you have.

Appreciate it as you touch it.

Make lists of all the things you will buy with an abundance of money.

Do whatever it takes for you to feel wealthy.
Affirm to yourself every day that you have an abundance of money, and that it comes to you effortlessly.

Appreciate all the riches around you, including the riches of others.

Look for wealth wherever you go, and appreciate it.

Be certain that money is coming to you.

Love yourself and know that you are deserving and worthy of an abundance of money.

Remind yourself everyday that you are a money magnet, and ask yourself often during the day, am I attracting money now or pushing it away with my thoughts?

Always, always pay yourself first from your wage, then pay your creditors.

In that single act, you are telling the Universe that you are worthy and deserving of more.

Repeat over and over every day, "I am a money magnet and money comes to me effortlessly and easily."

Write out a check to yourself for the sum of money you would like to have and carry it in your wallet.

Look at it often.

Do whatever it takes to feel good.

The emotions of joy and happiness are powerful money magnets.

Be happy now!

Love yourself!

Wealth is a mindset.

Money is literally attracted to you or repelled from you.

It's all about how you think.

"Summary Of Secret Teachings"

FOR A MORE SATISFYING EXPERIENCE GO AND READ THE BOOK YOURSELF.

TRUST ME.

IT'S WORTH IT.

Are You Blessed

2009-07-08T00:32:00.000-07:00

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness……….you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation…….you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.
If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep…you are richer than 75% of this world.
If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace……. you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy.
If your parents are still alive and still married……..you are very rare, even in the United States.
If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful…..you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.
If you prayed yesterday and today……..you are in the minority because you believe God does hear and answer prayers.
If you can read now, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.
If you are still regretting over anything today, make yourself understand that you are blessed more than many people around you.
Try cheering them up in some few, you will be satisfied more with your life.

Bless you.

Affairs

2009-07-02T00:33:00.000-07:00

This is the first post which I am writing myself. The issue is a controversional one. Affairs, affairs and more affairs. Your feedback and comments are most welcome. Ok let’s start off with the meaning of affair. The most common definition of affair is cheating on your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife. (Adultery) An affair may refer to a form of nonmonogamy, to infidelity or to adultery. Where an affair lacks both overt and covert sexual behavior and yet exhibits intense or enduring emotional intimacy it is called an emotional affair. 'Affair' may be used as a euphemism and in some cases to add glamour to an illicit liaison or it may be used to slander.
Why do affairs happen? There are so many answers for this question, but the best way to sum it up is affairs happen because that person is not happy. This is where it can branch off into many different reasons and become complicated. Sometimes, it just happens that the person they have an affair with gives them something that their partner doesn't, makes them feel good in a way that their partner doesn't, allows them to avoid a responsibility or dealing with something. Sometimes these people are just looking for validation in some way from the opposite sex. There are so many reasons. I don't think most people go looking for it, but there are small percentages that do. It’s not what’s wrong with you that cause it, its what’s wrong with them...and 99% of the time it's a simple as just being unhappy.
Most people have a wrong concept that affairs happen for physical reasons. Actually studies show that affairs actually happen more for emotional reasons. When a partner feels work is more important than family. Pays more attention to friends and socialiasing and not with spending time with their partners. There are some husbands who thinks that earning for the family and satisfying the wife’s physicall needs is enough to keep her happy. What about her emotional needs. She needs some affection and love too. She needs to have her emotional needs fulfilled. There are wife’s who thinks cooking, cleaning, and child caring and pleasing the husband’s physical need is the key to happily married life. Think again! He needs a good companion too. Sharing his joys and troubles. He needs someone to lean on to. “A heart that never leans must fall”
Which is worst? Emotional or physical affairs? Emotional is far worse than physical. A spouse may go through a period of weakness and seek outside physical contact but that betrayal does not in any way mean that he/she has stopped loving their spouse. They just have a period of weakness. However when you get involved emotionally outside the marriage, that means something else again, many spouse that cheat confuse emotional attraction and just physical attraction and the spouse may be temporarily ( 1 day 1 week or months) "addicted" to the outside influence that they think is emotional when it is only passion for physical contact with someone else. In time a spouse that cheated will return and the love he/she has for their spouse remains. Love in a marriage means MUCH more than physical contact and that is not to minimize the hurt and betrayal caused by a spouse that cheats but cheating by and of itself DOES NOT need to mean the end of the marriage. Obviously, there was something missing in the marriage for the betrayal to occur

Now the big question. How to avoid having an affair. Lots of things are not easy but many times it is important to look beyond the temptation and simply do the right thing. Anyone who is in a committed relationship can do several things to avoid having an affair. Make your partner your priority. Think how you would feel if you were to lose your partner and how badly you would hurt your partner if you were unfaithful. Imagine how badly you would feel if your partner were unfaithful to you. Make a list of all the things you love about your partner. Then make a list of the things about your partner that's not pleasing to you. Check the lists against each other and see what a great person it is that you are with. Focus on their good points. Tell them how important they are to you. Tell them some of the things you especially love about them. Be specific! Another important thing you can do is to purposely avoid being around the person who tempts you. And if you must be in their presence, mention little things about your partner that show how important they are to you and how much you love them. And no matter how tempting it may be, DO NOT FLIRT!! Something that may seem innocent can be the catalyst that puts you in danger of losing your partner. Avoiding temptation is so much easier than trying to clean up after a train wreck! And pray for strength to avoid situations that will lead you into trouble.
If you found out that your partner had an affair. Don’t feel bad or hurt. It’s not your fault. It’s not his either. Sometimes things just happen. Look at it like an accident. Take it positively. Find ways to fill what was missing in your relationship. Most people end up having at least one physical or emotional affair with someone. It’s not the end of the world. Communication is key. Look at the bright side. Research shows that after an affair partners appreciate each other better and are more open and understanding. Life is short. So throw all your grudges and egos aside and start living. Stop complaining and live with an attitude of gratitude. Count your blessings and live your life the best way possible. Oh yah, try your best not to hurt anyone along the way. May God Bless You All.

Un Ninaivinil

2009-06-21T23:20:00.000-07:00

Kaan yirendum vilithu,
Nithiraiyai thulaithu,
Un ninaivil thavithu,
Unnai kaanae yenggugiren.
Yenggae yen santhosham......
Yenggae yen inbam......
Yenggae yen paasam......
Yenggae yen nesam......
Yellam unyidamae kondre sendraiyo......
Minji yirukindrathu ellam......
yen ninaivilum......yen ullathilum......
nirainthu yirukindra......
Un punnagai niraintha mugam,
Un anbu varthaigal,
Un udalgal, konjalgal, minjalgal,
Ni yiruki anaithea vepam,
Un pasaa mutham.
Un thollil sainthea thunggae......
Naan yenggugiren......
Un pasaa mutham vangae......
Naan kathea kondirukiren......
Yeppothu ni varuvai yendre......
Vallee mel villi veithu kathukondirukiren.
Un mithea kondae kathal sugamanathea,
Intha pirivu mathumae sumaiyanathea,
Ni thurathil yirukindra polutham,
Unthan ninaivugal......
Yennai varudikondrea yirukindrathu.
Yeppoluthu ni varuvai......
Yindra......
Nalaiya......
Yeppo......
Ni varum varaikum......
Kannir mathumae yennaku sonthamanathu

Instructions For Life

2009-05-25T22:35:00.000-07:00

Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

Memorize your favorite poem.

Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

When you say, “I love you”, mean it.

When you say, “I’m sorry”, look the person in the eye.

Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

Believe in love at first sight.

Never laugh at anyone’s dreams.

Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.

In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

Don’t judge people by their relatives.

Talk slowly but think quickly.

When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”

Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

Call your mom.

Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.

When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.

Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

Spend some time alone.

Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-05T22:02:00.000-07:00

IF I KNEW AS A CHILD

If I knew as a child what I know now, Mom,I probably wouldn't have made thingsso hard for you.

I would have understood that you were looking out for my best interest.. even though it may not have seemed so at the time.

I would have known how difficult it is to let go,to stand back and let someone you love learn from their mistakes.

I would have realized how fortunate I was to have a mother who was always there for me,even after an argument,even after I'd said thingsI shouldn't have.

While it's too late for a lot of things it's not too late for me to tell you that I appreciate how loving you are,how giving you've always been and that even though I may not always be good at showing it,I love you very much.

~By Renee Duvall~

Specially dedicated to my mum and all the mother's who are as wonderful as my mum.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

Grudge between husband and wife

2009-04-30T00:11:00.000-07:00

This is for all the single, married, divorced, widowed individuals, who take life for granted. Please, read this story until the end, it is such an opener.

You never Know.........!

Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.

I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother." Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.

Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to it." Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure.

Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it. Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it." There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle. Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest. As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes.

From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again. One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me.... I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?" After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house.

During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please. In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work. That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.

The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes.. I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really did not mean it. We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs.

For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life. Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a doctor." The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant. Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day?

At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight?

Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket. That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again.

The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital." I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless. I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen? Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if....In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.

Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all. Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart. One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything. The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me,challenging me. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me.

That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other. He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff. I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished. I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not.. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.

One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it. In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine. As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there. After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?" Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now." He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me. I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't. In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional.

I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated. Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him. From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart. Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet. This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us? Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously ignored him.

Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions. He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore. It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital.

Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did? He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain. Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his... I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment.

Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral." I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hitsme. Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son: "Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now... I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no longer has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion.... Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through life journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most..." From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.

Hubby has also written a letter for me: "My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby...My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me...These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging... " Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..." He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face.... A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever..."Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our originals intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, every thing became too late."........

This is a true story.
LEARNING POINT - DO NOT EVER HOLD ON TO OFFENCES!!!
I am totally speechless, this story brought tears to my eyes as I read through each line eager to know what would happen next.
It truly showed the devastating power of grudges and anger!
Simple humility and communication would have resolved most of the problems in that story, as well as patience....
This story has really touched my heart and life as a whole and it has stimulated a paradigm shift. Though it is very sad, it is also very refreshing to know that from today, I can consciously start to live a life free of grudge.
People please let's live a life devoid of grudge.
Communication is key.
Take greatest care and live on.

SHOUT

2009-04-15T00:13:00.000-07:00

‘Why do we shout in anger?’ A saint asked his disciples, ‘Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?’
His disciples thought for a while, one of them said, ‘Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.’
‘But, why do you shout when the other person is just next to you?’ asked the saint. ‘Isn’t it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you’re angry?’
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint. Finally he explained, ‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.’
Then the saint asked, ‘What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small…’
The saint continued, ‘When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.
‘MORAL’ said the saint: ‘When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return!’

Fun Ways to Learn About Each Other

2009-04-14T22:48:00.000-07:00

Part of the exciting experience of falling in love is the process of learning more about each other. This holds true for online love as well, and in some cases even more so.

Sometimes, it can be difficult to start the 'opening up process' so here are some fun ways to learn more about each other!

In your e-mail to your online love, attach a new question you'd like to have answered.

Don't forget to have your love do the same.

This way you can spend some real time thinking about the next question you'd like to ask!

The idea is something that can be used well after the 'getting to know each other' stage!Everyone has their favorite items, movies, books, color, etc.

Play a fun game of guessing what each other's favorites are.

Agree on a list of questions about favorite things.

For example, What is your favorite movie What is your favorite song etc.

Then fill out what you think your partner's favorite is and swap results.

You can use this idea over and over again with a new list of favorites questions.

For couples who've been together for some time this can be a great way to see if you really know their favorites. )

Your personal history is a large part of your current personality.

Take your love on a 'web tour' of places in your city you currently like to visit or have gone to in the past.

Most cities now have city guides so you should be able to find most major attractions and places you frequently visit there.

For each place you visit, tell your love a story of something memorable, or not, that happened while you were there.

Finally, do a love project! Set out to create a web page or similar type document that contains links and information about their interests and culture. While making your project you'll find out a lot of tidbits about your love you might not have known before.

Installing A Husband

2009-03-17T00:22:00.000-07:00

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate.

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 ;program.

These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Babe!

Tech Support

When I Am Old

2009-03-12T08:09:00.000-07:00

This poem really touched my heart. I hope you like it too. Let's learn what they are trying to say and practise it. May God Bless You.

When I turn old, when I am not the original me,
Please understand me and have patience with me.

When I drip gravy all over my clothes, when I forget to tie my shoelaces,
Please remember how I thought you what to do, and how to do many things by hand.

When I repeatedly tell you things that you're tired of hearing,
Please be patient and listen to me. Please do not interrupt me.
When you were young, I told you the same story over and over again until you were sound asleep.

When I need you to help me bathe,
Please do not scold me. Do you still remember how when you were small I had to coax you to take a bath?

When I do not understand new technology,
Please do not laugh at me or mock me. Please think how I used to be so patient with you to answer your every "Why".

When my two legs are tired and I cannot walk anymore,
Please strecth out your powerful hands to lend me a hand,
just like when you were a baby learning to walk I held both your hands.

When I suddenly forget what subject we are discussing,
Please give me a little time to recollect.
Actually, it does not matter what we are talking about;
as long as you are by my side,
I am so contended and happy already.

When you see the old me, please do not be sad.
Please understand me and support me,
Just like how I was with you when you were young and just learning to face life.
At the beginning, I guided you to the path of life.
Now I ask you to keep me company to finish this last leg of my life.
Give me your love and patience,
I will give you a grateful smile and crystallized in this smile is my endless love for you.

* Originated from the November 2004 issue of Digital Family of Mexico *