Karmic Lollipop

Is It Really Slacking If You Don't Have the Time?

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Sat, 09 May 2009 00:59:00 +0000

So, it occurred to me today that this poor, poor, lonely little blog is neglected. Its like I'm some negligent mother who forgot her kid at karate practice, hopped a plane for Acapulco with a nagging feeling that she forgot to pack something but with the assurance she can buy it duty free when she gets there, only to realize four (or five) umbrella drinks into her vaca exactly what it is she forgot.

Whoops.

So here I am trying to think of some sexy story that I could tell to get this thing rollin' again.

Sexy story... sexy story... ah!

An opportunity (that I don't want to divulge just yet) has come across my proverbial desk. Which got me thinking about opportunities. Life, in a sense, is a series of opportunities. We're born, thus given the opportunity of life. We grow, experience an array of emotions and events, fall in and out of love, hate and forgive, mourn and rejoice. Certain milestones within our lives present other opportunities. An appreciation of learning presents a path to further and continued enlightenment--if the individual so chooses. Likewise, love leads to the possibility life long commitment or, conversely, a life of solitude--two diversely divergent possibilities born of the same opportunity. And so on, and so on, and so on.

The question then becomes, if these opportunities are floating out there, nebulous yet ripe for the taking, why do so many slip through our fingers? Why do we let factors like money, ties to places and people, and fear hold us back? Why don't we jump more often?

As I continue to ponder the possibility of this opportunity becoming a reality, I find myself running the numbers, fretting over the intricacies, reveling in the possibilities. I find myself standing at the edge of a precipice, and I am ready to jump.

I Haz The Updates (if anyone cares)

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 14:35:00 +0000

So.... its been a loooong time and no blog. So updates are in order I suppose?

Life is moving a long, the big 3-0 approaches this year. I'm not scared, really, I'm not . The job is still... the job. I'm teaching a Screenwriting class Term III which should be fun... or funny. I'm not certain yet.

I'm considering the merits of just picking up and relocating and worrying about gainful employment once I get there. I've narrowed "there" down to the following lucky cities/regions:

Savannah, GA
New Orleans, LA
Some place close to sister in NC
Some place in CA
Scotland
New Zealand

You should feel lucky, you lucky duck cities/regions! Seriously, though, I'm not sure how much more of New York (the state, not the city) I can take. I really don't enjoy this state. Mostly, I think its the snow.

Progress on the writing is... slowly starting up again. I have a new idea that I think I'm going to try to develop as a short story first, and then a longer piece. I'm kind of under a gun or sorts to get something published. I mean, I should get serious about this writing stuff right, especially since I spent all that money on a useless degree that says I CAN write, right?

The boy front is... stagnant. I think I'm finally to the point I'd like to meet someone and apparently I've forgotten how to go about doing that. It fascinates me to a degree...

My knitting is kicking my a$$ lately. I think this specific ball of yarn is cursed as it has attempted to become three different projects, and epically failed each and every time. So... yeah, cursed.

Other than that, boring as heck here.

Cun-knit-drum

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 01:23:00 +0000

So... I apparently have knitting ADD. Instead of knitting Stardust, I've decided to knit Lace Ribbon.

Yarn: Stork, Dale of Norway in a bright blue. Originally, this yarn was intended for a sock pattern BUT lacks elasticity needed to hold socks up. So... kicky scarf it is!

Progress: Two pattern repeats, about 4". I started this thing like six times--seriously--before it actually took off. I'm diggin' the pattern, its easily memorized yet difficult enough (for me at least) that I don't get bored.

Something New on the Stix...

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 22:52:00 +0000

Project: Stardust. Its a simple knit, according to those who have made it, and quick too. I'm knitting it out of a worsted weight wool/angora blend that is to DIE for soft.

Yarn: Cascade Yarn, "Cloud 9" in color no. 136, which is a lovely shade of green.

Progress: None so far. Just casting on tonight!

Major Suckage

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 14:51:00 +0000

Seriously, major suckage happening over here on MULTIPLE fronts.

Writing is at an all time low. I was doing SO WELL, getting an average of 4 hours in a day. I was starting to think I was a "for real" writer and then... nothing. Nothing for the past three weeks. WTF. I have free time today, as I have no work scheduled, but now I'm waging a battle between what I'd like to do (write) and what I should do (clean). Days, nay weeks, like this make me feel like why even bother? Like I'm never going to be successful and I might as well just give the fuck up right now.

Looks as though I'm not going to be switching blog platforms. I'm so not in love with Blogger, but it allows me to change the look (assuming I can figure out the new *improved* Blogger) if I so choose--which I do--whereas Wordpress does not. Well, it does but I have to pay for it. And I definitely do not get enough traffic to warrant paying for a little corner of the internets to call my own.

I've been going to the gym for about three weeks now and all it has managed to do is prove to me that I am no longer 23 and thus my body does not bounce back into shape as quickly. In the last two to three years, I've managed to gain about 20+ pounds, which for me is a lot. I've never been athletic perse but I do have an athletic build (0r at least I used to). In my teens and early 20s I could lose weight at the drop of a hat, thus I could eat and drink my face off. Well, not so much anymore. I joined the Y and have been working my ASS off... figuratively not literally. WTF.

*Sigh* Suppose I should clean... or write. Or something.

Switching?

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 19:37:00 +0000

I am switching (I think). Take a peak over here.

I'm just not 100% happy with Blogger since they "updated." Don't get me wrong, great program to get my blogging feet wet in but I think I'm ready for some big girl blogging now.

The new one isn't 100% complete yet. I need to get up my blog roll and figure out a few things. And the picture is kind of canned--I'm going to work on getting one of my own up there. Other than that... very much so liking it!

Also, any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

Why I'm Switching To Verizon from AT&T

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 20:06:00 +0000

When I first got a cell phone, I went with Cingular because they had the best package for the least amount of money and the best coverage (I got coverage all the way from Boston to Ithaca NY). I loved my new cell phone goodness and, until Cingular became AT&T, I had absolutely no problem what-so-ever with my service.

And then they switched. And the "issues" started.

First there was the rebate, which is the only reason I got my current phone, that came in the form of a gift card vs. a credit on my account. And when said gift card expired a mere six month later, I called and asked that they replace it. This request, which I did not feel was outside the realm of customer requests or expectations, was met with hostile resistance. After speaking on several occasions with different costumer service reps and one manager, they finally reluctantly issued me a new gift certificate DESPITE the fact I asked they apply it towards my bill.

Then there was the phone issue. The current phone I have is a piece of sh*t. It got wet THROUGH MY BACK POCKET (caught in the rain one day) and stopped working. Rather than issue me a new phone, which I felt I rightfully deserved as it was an issue from their end as I felt it was a faulty product and all (I mean hello, the phone I had before this did NOT do that and I dropped it in the freakin' toilet one day), they gave me this whole run around. It took me threatening to pay the $200 to quit their company and go to a major competitor for AT&T to grudgingly offer me a new used phone. Which does not work properly--it cuts out at weird times like when I have all the bars. So, needless to say, I took this phone into the little store in the mall and asked what I can do. I even suggested that perhaps they could give me another gently used phone to replace this gently used phone with. Their response was to say that they couldn't do anything, I had to buy a new phone unless I wanted to send my current phone--at MY EXPENSE--to their phone "body shop" to be fixed which I would have to pick up the tab for.

And then there's today. I get my bill, I look at it and its $90. WTF. I don't call anyone, I have a plethora of roll-over minutes (which expires every 12 months, BTW), and I had switched to a messaging plan that was more than three times the amount of texts I currently had. So... WTF. Come to find out, despite what the guy one the phone who helped me switch had said, I was being charged for going over my previously allotted 400 messages. I was VERY CAREFUL to ask the gentleman I spoke to if that was going to happen as I've learned that you need to do so in order to be prepared to argue the charge on the next bill. Needless to say, I was miffed that I had been charged, expressed said miffedness, and promptly demanded they fix it.

They did.

I'm still switching.

The Post Where I Whine About It...And Come to No Discernible Conclusion What So Ever

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 23:04:00 +0000

Writing has not gone the way that I want it to this past, oh, five days. After that stink I made last post about being a writer, I've managed to accomplish nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. Zilch.

I blame this on my setting. See...my character wants to be an ex-army dude newly (as in maybe a year or two) returned from WWII, but my setting screams late 1950s. So I've been debating. Do I make him an ex-army guy returned from WWII and try to shift all the details (dress, social mores, etc.) to the mid-1940s OR do I make him older than I initially pictured him and shift everything to the height of McCarthyism (which may or may not make sense for another character in my novel)? On the one hand, if I were to make him still a young man (in his late 20s/early 30s) there's this whole "hope to return the way things were" that motivates his actions. Which would be easy in terms of the details I'm imagining because they seem to be more 1950s old Hollywood type of details.BUT if I flash forward, he can be more bitter and (initially) more hopeless. But that means changing some of the details, like his age (which I like where it is), and quite possibly make him a touch more resigned and surly than he is--which might not work for his involvement (physical, emotional and professional) with the other lead. And then there's this whole thing with the occult vs. McCarthyism.

At the end of the day, I think I need to get my ass to the library to do some research into the 1940s vs. 1950s. and I really don't wanna!

BECAUSE I'M A WRITER DAMMIT!

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 15:14:00 +0000

You know... I'm getting really tired of people thinking that just because I don't have a "real" summer job--the kind where you get up at 7 a.m., take a shower, drive off to work all grumpy and slave away for 9 hours a day for just above minimum wage pay--that I'm not working. I'm a WRITER dammit! When I'm not busy working part time for my grandfather (which is a couple days a week) I'm working damn hard to get this book idea hammered out, revise two pieces written over a year ago, and now I've got to do some freakin' research too. Top that off with a desire to get some personal sh*t down around the house (my bedroom hasn't been cleaned in months, my rats are starting to stink and I have YET to mail out my incentive package to my writing buddy--it was supposed to arrive by the end of June) and my days get pretty full pretty damn fast.

Let me explain my writing days to you:

I get up, usually around 9/10 a.m. I don't sleep well these days--I seem to be falling asleep around 12 a.m. only to wake up three hours later, unable to fall back asleep for about 2-3 hour OR can't fall asleep until 3 a.m.--so honestly, this isn't that late for me as mathematically it amounts to the same amount of time any normal person would be sleeping.
I shower. Its my coffee.
I check my email, read some blogs, update my blog/twitter, check in on the websites I contribute to, sometimes work on a piece for said websites, etc. As the Internet in my current humble abode is craptacular, this sometimes eats up 2 hours of my morning. I could cut this, but here's the thing: I approach it as my writing warm up. Some people go to the gym to exercise their bodies and get themselves going for the day. I read/write for a couple of hours to get the juices flowing.
I eat lunch at 12:30/1:00 p.m.
At about 1:00 p.m., I sit down to write. I set a timer for FIVE AND A HALF HOURS and write (which isn't nearly enough time BUT at least its some time, and I'm guess that when my "real" job kicks back up in August, that's about all the time I'll be able to write anyways). No freakin' T.V., no fun reading, no playing games... just writing.
At 6:30 p.m. I take a HALF HOUR break. I pee, I catch up with my mom (she's usually home by then) decide if she's making diner or if I am and re-read some of what I've written.
If I'm making diner, I won't get back to writing that day. If not, I'll work for another 2-3 hours (usually reading, revising and adding to what I've written that day).
Watch 2-3 hours of T.V. depending on what day of the week it is. I need a brain break and I love my programs.
11:00 in bed. I usually use this time to free write or outline an idea for a chapter.
12:00 asleep: the cycle begins anew.

The only time this schedule changes is if, like today, I've got other sh*t to do. Today, I need to clean my room, clean my rats, run to Ithaca to GET my package items together and mail them, procure a membership to the library so I can start researching some elements for my novel... and all of this will probably eat up my writing time.

Let me clarify something. Writing is a full time job, one that (currently) I am not getting paid for. Its not some little hobby that I've developed, its not me finding a way to be lazy about housework or other obligations. Its me doing what I KNOW I was born to do. It requires just as much dedication to routine and discipline as any other job out there. And despite talent and that stupid M.F.A. it's still freakin' hard. If I want to get good at it, if I want to move up the metaphorical ladder of success, if I want to get promoted, I need to practice it every single day.

So no, I CANNOT pick up your dry cleaning. Nor will I wait around until the mail comes so I can personally courier your pay check to you. No I will not plan your summer class for you. No, I cannot meet you for lunch, go shopping, or come hang down at the lake. I'm too busy WORKING.

Because I Have A New Kick-Ass Camera!

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 16:21:00 +0000

Top to bottom: Herman Plant Parts, Bleeding Hearts, Titan (aka "The Horse), Pretty Kitty

Sometimes, I Disappoint me...

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 00:33:00 +0000

This past weekend I spent some quality time with my father. This is not something that, under the best of circumstance, happens often and right now these are not the best of circumstances.

For over a year now, my parents have been separated. Not divorced, just separated. Its been difficult, and its hurt on many different levels. Sometimes I've been so angry, I haven't wanted a single thing to do with either parent. I spend a lot of time wishing they would BOTH just act like adults instead of lovelorn teens, but their pain is not mine to carry. Rather, I am the adult child of a set of parents who are experiencing pain--something I wish someone had written a handbook for!

But I digress...

I realized for the first time this weekend that I don't think I've been fair to my father. It has been so easy to vilify him in this whole affair: he's the one that fell out of love, he's the one that cheated, he's the one that left. He's the one that didn't try hard enough, continues to not try hard enough.

And yet.

Talking with my father I realized that I've made the problems my parents are experiencing my problems as well, that I've tried to shoulder my mom's pain while ignoring my father's. I assumed that my presence at home, with my mother, would some how imbue her with the strength she's lacking. I assumed that by sheer osmosis she could get back on her emotional feet and move on. I put all of my energy into that, not stopping to think for a single second that perhaps my father needed me too, maybe even more. That maybe, just maybe, he needed to hear me say, "I love you, be happy."

I hear a sadness in his voice, read it in his emails. I see how he knows what he's done is damaging, and I feel his longing to make it right some how without sacrificing his happiness. And I feel ashamed, not of him or his actions, but my own.

I have not been a good daughter.

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 16:26:00 +0000

What to do, what to do... my job teaching at the Local College is over for the summer (as of a week ago) and I'm getting some sort of steady income this summer in the form of 2 half-pay checks and $1000 for proctoring an incoming freshman writing exam. The math has been done, and I can exist on the money that is coming in--by exist I mean pay the bills. I have a bit o' money saved up that I am considering using as back-up, thus allowing myself to have a summer off to... do things. But the extra income from a part time job would be nice...

Here's the deal though: I'm knocking on 30's door. That's right folks--I'm in my last year of my twenties. Oddly, I'm not upset in the "Oh my GOD! My 20s are dying!" kind of way. Rather, turning 29 has made me contemplative, and that contemplation has produced the following conclusions:

I hate my current job. This hate is no longer confined to just my boss and the institution that that employs me. Rather, this hate is directed towards the kind of work I'm doing. I love (most of) my darlings from this year. I just hate being told what and how I've got to teach. I'd rather I was given a check list of skills I had to impart and granted the lassitude to teach those skills as I saw fit. Furthermore, I had the chance to teach a creative class Term III and...loved it. I mean REALLY loved it. I felt alive and engaged and creative. Each and every day I got to teach what I wanted, what I felt was important and most importantly saw those lessons validated by the work my students produced in and out of the classroom. Which leads to point no. 2...
I need to get published. If I want to teach creative classes vs. instructional, I need to get published. However...
I haven't written in a year. After I completed and received my MFA I was totally burnt out. I tried to write and every time I sat down in front of the computer or with pen and paper, my mind ran screaming in terror. I just couldn't do it. I tried revising some stuff I'd written before, but convinced myself it wasn't good enough to even bother. Truthfully, I was scared shitless of rejection. If I was rejected, it meant I had wasted my time, and money, on a worthless degree. But then I got to thinking about it: I liked, no loved, writing before those three little letters graced the tail end of my name. I NEEDED to write... just write... without worrying about publication or failure.
Yet... publication is vindication. And without this vindication, and acknowledgement of my peers in academia, I can't teach what I feel in my bones I'm supposed to teach. So publication is key. Growing a pair is in order....
Which means I need a schedule. Finding time to write can't wait until "later" or "when I'm free." It must be found.

Writing is easy, folks. Any monkey with a typewriter can do it. Writing well, however, takes immense practice, patience, and guts.

Wish me luck.

Just... Yeah... Huh.

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 18:06:00 +0000

Homeless Woman Lived in Man's Closet for a Year

Word Nerd Survey Results

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Sun, 25 May 2008 18:20:00 +0000

At what level would you describe yourself as a writer (for instance, just starting to take myself seriously; searching for a graduate program, etc.)? I'm a graduate of an MFA program seeking for motivation to keep writing with publication in mind.
What genre(s) do you write? Fiction (both "literary" and "speculative"), non-fiction, and script/play. The current novel idea is a touch speculative around the edges (there is a ghost and some medium type/type powers involved).
How do you fit writing into your life right now? I'm trying to find time. My job eats up a lot of hours, and I am decidedly NOT a morning person. Mid-morning is the best for me, so I try to spend an hour each morning writing and one to two hours in the evening.
What is your goal for this project (June 1-Aug. 31)? My goal is multi-level and is as follows:
*Revise 2 peices from my thesis and submit one by August 31
*Finish an outline of the new novel idea by June 30th
*Write a minimum of 500 words a day, five days a week (July and August)
What steps do you plan to take to reach that goal? I've done some free-writing to get an idea of what the story is as well as some character sketching. I'd like to map out the chapters and story arcs before starting to write the actual chapters. I am currently using a screen writing technique (scene shot mapping) to flesh out chapters.
How do you reward yourself (or how would you like to be rewarded) when you meet a goal? I shop, I knit, I treat myself to dinner, bottle of wine, movie tickets, etc. I'm not really picky... I like thoughtful items.
What writing craft books do you have/like? Writing Shapely Fiction, Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, Hot Property (script writing), that Vivian Gornik book, On Writing, and few others I'm sure.
Any craft books you’re interested in checking out? I'm sure there's a few! Any good suggestions?
What inspires your writing? Real life stories, questions with impossible answers, sometimes music without words, things/people I see on the street, things I over hear/quotes, etc.
How would your author’s blurb read? College instructor by day, frenetic writer and knitter by night, the author resides in Ithaca, NY. When not kow-towing to the every whim of her ever growing menagerie ( two cats, two fish, three rats and counting...), Tina day dreams of the perfect surfing vacation: warm, tropical beaches stretched as far as the eye can see; white sandy shores devoid of tourists; popping up to ride wave after perfect wave gracefully into the shore without falling ass over teakettle a single bloody time.
Tell us about your family (partners, kids, pets, etc.) I'm blissfully single yet ruled by my two Siamese cats (Tai and Pretty Kitty) and my three ratlings (Sinead, Harriet, and Josie Roo).
Have you ever participated in Nanowrimo (finished or not!)? Yes--and I totally punked out 2 weeks in because working three jobs while trying to finish a thesis and find a full time job kinda got in the way.
What can you do to make it easier on yourself to meet your goal for this project? Create a schedule, with deadlines and stick to it. I thrive on deadlines.
What are you looking for in terms of support from a writing partner (ex. Exchanging work for critique, being held accountable for meeting a word count goal, etc.)? I need a partner who is going to hold me accountable. If we make a deadline to exchange work, I need a partner who will push me to meet the deadline without being overly pushy. I also need a partner who isn't afraid to honest, or to receive an honest critique (I can be quite blunt, even though it is meant in the most loving and supportive way imaginable). I would like if my partner could be open to critiquing a few of my ideas (specifically revisions).
What crafty pursuits do you enjoy when you’re not writing? I knit and doodle.
What other hobbies/past times do you like? Sports, running, reading, movies, gardening, orchids, and recently I got into surfing (which is hard to do when you're landlocked and living the Northeast....)
What non-writing-craft books have you enjoyed? I have Stitch n' Bitch. I like most knitting magazines (Vogue, Interweave, Knit1)
What else would you like to share with us? I haven't been serious about my writing since I received my MFA. I was totally burned out post-thesis and until VERY recently felt like all my creativity was dead. That being said, I've been told I'm pretty funny.... and honest and open. So... if there's anything you want to know, just ask!

P.S. Please, no international writers (this time out). I'm on a limited budget :(

For the Writerly Nerd Types

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Thu, 22 May 2008 14:02:00 +0000

If you need some inspiration or, hell, just a swift kick in the pants to get the writing juices going, check out Word Nerd Co-Op. Its a three month commitment (so, the summer) and you're basically paired with someone who will act as your writing cheerleader. Your partner sends packages costing no more than $5 a pop and words of encouragement.

Not a bad idea... who doesn't like prezzies?

New Hair Cut

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Wed, 07 May 2008 23:35:00 +0000

I'm not sure I like this one yet... it might be too 90s (I get the stinkin' suspicion that its a little to "Rachel"). I'm working up the balls to go short... which I probably won't like. I do like how glossy and shiny my hair currently looks though...

Matchmaker, Matchmaker Make Me a Match...

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 19:50:00 +0000

Today, folks, I had a revelation of grand proportions. I have seen the light and discovered my life purpose... I am a kick-ass matchmaker.

That's right folks, my main reason for being on this here blue and green marble hurdling through space is to bring lovelorn birds of a feather together in bliss and happiness.

It goes something like this.

One of my favorite students last semester, we'll call him J, is this shy quiet kid with a wicked sense of humor. He's the kind of guy that if you didn't have a little brother, you'd want to adopt him just because. I told a group of my more out going female students that they needed to make friends with J because, quite honestly, he needed friends to bring him out of his shell. And he's totally one of those guys that I could picture being all protective and walk them home from the bar and what not.

Anyways.

One of the girls, we'll call her D, took me at my word. D's a really sweet girl--a bit of a drama queen but one of those genuinely nice people. So, she just walked up to J at the library one day, introduced herself, and proceeded to make friends.

That was Term II... fast forward to now.

D stays after class one day and asks if she can talk to me. Now, D had written this piece that made me worry about her a tiny--that she might be a little darker than she let on. After quickly assuring me she wasn't, she tells me she has boy problems.

Now, at this time I'm furiously juggling hats. Do I answer this girl's questions as an instructor, friend, sister...?

At first she tells me that she's having boy problems, that a boy I know likes her. She pauses. It occurs to me that it is J, and that perhaps he likes her and D, having a boyfriend and all, does not reciprocate.

She assures me that this is not the case. She reciprocates. She can't tell any of her friends though, because they already disapprove of the friendship based on the fact that D has a boyfriend.

Silently, by the way, I'm cheering for J because he's finally found a girl that is interested in him. I'm also imagining myself smacking him on the forehead as he's found a girl that, despite her growing fondness, is otherwise unavailable.

To make a long story short, I put on my sister/friend hat and tell D that she has to follow her heart, not to cheat, and to be honest--is she crushing on J because the boyfriend is far away and she likes having someone interested in her, or is she really truly falling for J? She tells me that I've confirmed what she's been feeling and not to worry as she is not rushing into anything. She's going to wait and see if she still feels this way after a week and talking to the boyfriend.

A week goes by and she informs me that not only has she broken up with the boyfriend, but that she is going fishing with J. She's never been fishing. She tells me that she's happier than she's been in a long time and not to worry, she's taking it slow. She hasn't even kissed him yet.

She proceeds to tell me that I'm to blame for this, that J and her discussed my blame extensively. I tell her that she can thank me by inviting me to their wedding.

Truthfully, I'm a little envious of this budding relationship. I mean, I'm very excited for them but I miss that feeling they have right now--being all excited just to spend time with someone, to hold their hand, that weird queasy fluttery feeling in the stomache. I'm glad I had a hand in pushing these two together--however slight a hand it may be--but can't help but wonder WTF, man?! Why the hell can't I make my OWN love life as sweetly, innocently exciting as this?

More Old Lady Sports

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 13:46:00 +0000

Project First Sweater is coming along just dandy. I'm using Cascade 220 Wool in this medium charcoal gray:

The project itself, after some intense knitting yesterday, is about 7 inches long. Which isn't a lot. But, as this is my first non-scarf, non fingerless mitt project (and because I spent an obscene amount on the yarn... ok, not obscene but more than I'm used to), I'll be damned if this doesn't turn out wearable. By me or anyone else.

Old Lady Sports

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 04:49:00 +0000

Am casting this on a pair of stixs tomorrow. Am hoping it will turn out ok and be wearable. We'll see!

Random Blogging Babble...

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 04:45:00 +0000

So... I'm still debating if I want to switch my platform and update the look of my blog. I feel like I need to do something more POW! BOOM! BANG! with it and am just tapped out in terms of fresh ideas. I feel like this blog has gotten away from the fun and sometimes funny slice of life chatter that it may have once been. Its starting to feel both old and juvenile at the same time. And I'm not sure how to fix that. I suppose if I started to post regularily...?

In other blog related news, I'm exploring other platforms from which to launch. I'm not sure if Blogger is cutting it anymore. Though, truthfully, I haven't looked at the new Blogger... does that make me behind the 8-ball?

I need to learn better HTML and get a better computer with fancier programs. (sigh)

Need a Better Blog?

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 19:41:00 +0000

So... I'm thinking I need to update this puppy. Maybe if I updated, I would write more frequently. And maybe if I wrote more frequently, I'd have more readers. Maybe I need schtick, you know, something all catchy and cool to blog about on a daily basis. Maybe I need to stop being a whiney b*tch so much?

So... dear reader(s), if you have any suggestions for a better platform, better technique, better anything, can you give me a shout?

Thanks,
Management.

P.S. I'm serious. Really, really serious. I'd like to get this thing out there more...

You Can't See It... But I'm Making My "RAR!" Face

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 22:07:00 +0000

Ah yes... the snow has melted, the squirrles have come out of hibernation, and the sounds of agonized college instructors from a certain college calculating their grades proir to them being signed-off on by their craptacular boss fill the air.

That's right folks, its end of Term II and I am rage filled. Why, you ask? Here's a snippet from the email exchange I engaged in with my boss. You'll note, it starts with a simple question:

Me: I understand that you want us to have the portfolios that need to be signed off on to you today. However, here's my quick question. What if a portfolio, based on a rough estimate of grades, is an A- BUT participation and their final grade bump them up to an A, or, conversely, down from an A to an A-?

Boss Man: What you're describing sounds like an A-. (Unanswered Question #1)

Me: And I understand that. My question is, what happens if those grades, which are NOT included in the portfolio grade, bump the student's grade up from an A- to an A? Do I need to re-submit to you, or make a case to you, or something along those lines? (Notice, I have just asked THE SAME QUESTION...)

Boss Man: Make a case based on accomplishment rather than improvement. The average number of As per section so far is 1.7. (Notice how adroitly this man has managed NOT to answer my question. Rather than provide a straight answer, he attempts to blind me with lame-o statistics...)

Pause: Dear reader(s), what you need to understand is that the college I work at has this thing with grade inflation. They don't want it to happen. So rather than letting the chips fall where they may, they cook the f*cking books. They put a cap on how many As may be give in a term, and have instituted this new policy where we have to send our boss our A grades in a ranked order so that he may cut the bottom two.

Me: How are you differentiating between "accomplishment' and "improvement,' as those are two very ambiguous words. To me, its a pretty big accomplishment if a student has re-written and revised a paper four or five times to the point where they no longer focus on a summary of texts, but rather argument. This additionally shows improvement as they have improved their academic writing skills from reportage to argument. See what I mean? (You'll note that at this point, I've changed tactics. I'm asking for clarification still, but I'm focusing on words that can be interpreted many different ways...)

Boss Man: If the final result is an A portfolio with no halo effect, then the grade is an earned A. (Go ahead and ask... cause I did... What the HELL is a "halo effect?")

Me: What do mean by "halo effect"? I apologize for the deluge of questions, I just want to make sure that I'm doing right by my students.

Boss Man: Yes, I do understand; but you also must make sure they meet the standards of the Program. I have the same problem every term. (Notice: UNASWERED QUESTION #3... WTF, dude!)

Me: (highly irate by this time... as I've yet to get a straight answer) they do meet the standards. I'm not willy nilly handing out letter grades. I've kept very diligent records of all required elements that this course contains. These are not students who, out of the kindness of my heart, I want to gift an A to. Rather, these are students who, when the accounting is completed (and I've run a few different scenarios) are potentially bumped up from an A- to an A based on the merit of their participation (which is almost equal to the portfolio grade as it is 40% of the final grade). We're talking students who have done every single one of the 27 homework assignments I gave them, haven't missed a single class, scored an A on their presentations, and have diligently revised and reworked all essays, even if the essay already earned an A- or A. These are students who's preliminary portfolio grades add up more than a 1.8 , which when you add that with a possible 2.0 on the remaining grading requirements (participation and a final) they score a higher than an 3.8 overall.

These are contentious, hardworking students who have excelled within the writing program for the simple reason that they consistently make the most effort to improve their writing skills so that they are accomplishing the goals set before them by their instructor and, subsequently, the writing program. This is why, for me, those two words accomplishment and improvement are ambiguous as a select few students have improved to the point that their resulting improvements are accomplishments in themselves.

So when I say I'm trying to do right by my students, do not think that this is an easy task. I've already dumped from A consideration, without remorse, an additional 3 students who received high A- but not high enough (i.e. a 1.7-1.8 combined portfolio grade).

And I'm still unsure what you mean by "halo effect."

Pause: At this point, my boss switches tactics. I'm pretty certain the next email he sent me, under the heading of "Standards," was BCCed to all sorts of grand and powerful people. Take a gander... you'll note that he changes to the use of my full name and pretty much says I'm sh*t walking the earth.

Boss Man: Christina,The short answer is four As in Term I put you on the radar screen with the powers. History shows that three As per lecturer is the average for Term II. Dr. Coleman and I invented averaging the draft grades two years ago to help lecturers prevent grade inflation. If you average the grades for just the 10-pager, I bet you will avoid grade inflation neatly.

And finally... me. Again. And BTW--NOBODY GAVE THEM GRADES ON THE 10-PAGER. We gave what is commonly known as ghost grades so as to motivate the slackers to complete the assignment. Also... who averages grades on drafts, I ask you? NO ONE would ever get an A. And I bet you $10 my boss doesn't do it...

Me: (after slyly hitting REPLY ALL so it goes to The Powers as well as Bossman) This last email has confused me. At the beginning of this term, you informed me that I was one of two new instructors that graded as the department and the college wished us to grade, and thus did not "give away the store" as some of the other instructors did. I was under the assumption, based on the praise that you verbally gave me, that my grading was actually quite rigorous. Was this an inaccurate assumption to make, as it appears that the four As I awarded my Term I students were in fact something that has brought me under scrutiny?

I do not feel as though I am engaging in grade inflation. Rather, I was attempting to raise some, what I viewed, as pertinent questions regarding the grading of ALL elements for this class. I believe for next year the percentages awarded to various categories need to be looked at and evaluated. 40% of their grade is based on participation--if a B+ or A- student (for arguments sake) turns in all the homework, does not miss a single class, gives a really solid presentation, etc., there is a possibility that this participation grade can drive their overall grade up to an A. Like wise, the opposite is possible: a student who has an A portfolio could be a student who's missed a number of class, presented badly, and missed a handful of homeworks. The 40%, if a "bad" grade, can drive the grade down from an A to B+ or lower.

My emails were not intended to incite any sort of verbal sparring. Rather, I was seeking some understanding of how you were going to be evaluating my students portfolio vis-à-vis the grading of the remaining elements (participation and the final). Additionally, all I requested was further clarification of terms and ideas that can, very plausibly, be interpreted differently by individuals.

If this is something that I need to be evaluated or coached on by "the powers," then I am open to that criticism, as it may be helpful to my continuing development as an instructor.

Heh. Lets see what happens. I'm emailing all my A students a congratulatory note anyways so if they don't get the A... they can sick mommy and daddy on the spineless wonder that is Bossman.

Things I'm Really, REALLY Looking Forward To...

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 00:16:00 +0000

Term two at the Job is ending in two blissfully short (but not short enough) weeks. *Sigh* I can not wait. I feel like I'm burnt out, but rationally, after two years of teaching, I don't think I can be burnt out.... can I? I've blogged about this before, about how I think the Little Darlings at my current job are kind of... sub par, for lack of a better word. And I wonder if the antipathy of my students combined with the overwhelming amount of work that I have yet to complete (and no time to complete) is just getting to me... or what. So, needless to say, I am very much so looking forward to the term ending and having 10 wonderfully school free days all to myself. In that time I'm hoping to:

Finish Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? and start Simulacra, both Phillip K. Dick books.
Write... God I hope I get to write! I've had this idea bouncing around the inside of my skull and aside from a few hastily jotted notes I've nothing to show for it...
Finish the new rat cage. It needs shelves and a house.
Go outside and enjoy the freakin' sun. Sometimes I can see it from my very high, very tiny basement, er... terrace level window in my office but just barely...

God, I can't wait.

It's a Zoo in Here!

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 21:48:00 +0000

A couple months ago I added two new critters to my ever expanding menagerie... I'm pleased to introduce Harriet (she's the masked one) and Sinead (she's the one with the five o'clock shadow on her body):

Yes... yes... they're rats. And no, there is nothing wrong with Sinead--she's hairless as all get out. Which makes her really cute in my eyes (whatever, I'm odd. I accept this fact so should you). They're pretty smart, even if they're still babies (only 4 months old and all). They're not disease ridden--they're actually really clean (as long as the human remembers to clean out the poo every three days) and really affectionate. Sinead is a kisser--she'll lick the back of my neck when she's ridding around on my shoulder--and Harriet chitters when you scratch the back of her neck.

The cats are a little too interested sometimes and wail something fierce when I lock them out of my room so the girls can have play time but other than that, they don't attack or anything.

So this brings the menagerie grand total to (drum roll please): 2 cats (Tai and Pretty), 2 Fish (Feesh and... other Feesh), 2 rats.

Yep...

Comics Are For Kids

noreply@blogger.com (Tina) — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 15:11:00 +0000

So... a buddy at work has been feeding me graphic novels (which is honestly just a fancy way to say a conglomeration of individual comic books collected all nice and neat and sequential like into a less flimsy, and often glossy covered, packaging). I'm really into DMZ (DMZ)and Ex Machina (Ex Machina). It is totally geektastic.

And here's why I like it.

Its got pictures. Often really beautifully rendered pictures. The art in both is more lifelike than the traditional heroes with oversized bazooms and junk in spandex variety. The women in Ex Machina, for example, are true to their body type for their age. For example, there is one woman who was the love interest of the main dude (a former super hero turned NYC mayor) who is, by my guesstimate, about 40 years old. She's still foxy, but she's not all waspy-waisted, huge tits falling out of her shirt sexy. Rather, she is drawn with a sense of confident foxy.

The plots are adult. DMZ is a post-apocolyptic story--certain parts of the U.S. have seceeded from other parts, NYC is a demilitarized zone. The story is about the people who live in this in between area. Its not about some big war that tore a time-space rift in the universe; its about people living day to day in a war zone. The story was inspired by the Iraqi War our country currently fights in, and poses a real question: what happens to the "normal" people just trying to make it day to day?

The dialogue is as real as you can get for conversation bubbles. The characters don't ask inane questions to move the plot, but rather pretty awesome facilmilies of real life conversations that people would have in those situations.

Read 'em, love them. Revel in your inner comic book geek.