Karrie Minor: NWTC Student Life Blog

What Matters Most...

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 06:01:00 +0000

I have been invited to a banquet on April 22, 2013, where I have been told I will receive either an award for being an outstanding student in my program or an award for student leadership.

I have been invited to participate in the NWTC graduation ceremony on May 16, 2013, where I will be awarded my Associate's Degree in Paralegal Studies.... (graduation from 14th grade at the age of 41? Or possibly a hidden success story?)

Of course, I will attend both of these events. I am excited and proud. Yet, being a mom, it is a bit overshadowed by a few things. In a little over a week, our son, Mack, will be home on leave from Air Force Tech School. He will be in Wisconsin for only 3 short weeks before he reports to his first duty station at Luke Air Force Base in Phoenix, Arizona. After spending the past decade or so as the coordinator of chaos in my household, I have to admit, I miss the chaos. These days it's a bit too quiet in our household. Ok, other than my daughter, Rachel "Cake Boss" Minor, making cupcakes in the wee hours of the morning... but often she is off being fabulous and the house is way too quiet. Last Friday night my husband and I asked Cody, our other 19 year old twin, who lives here in Green Bay, if he wanted to come over and hang out with us. His response was, "Are you saying you want me to come over?" Um ok kiddo, way to call us out on missing our kids in our old age. We will never admit it!

So although I am proud of my achievements and possibly finally finding that "grown-up" gene that I have always felt was just beyond my reach, my "mom" gene has overtaken all of those thoughts of myself. I find myself worrying about what meals to make (even though the one thing this kid wants to eat is my sister's famous cheesy potatoes) and arranging for family and friends to get together while he is home. But mostly I am trying to figure out how to say "son, you make me proud." And even though the photos below show who you are now, I still see this little guy with two different colored eyes, who woke up laughing as a baby. Even though seeing you in uniform was great, I can't wait to see the goofy kid with the contagious positive attitude and often uncontrollable laugh, walk around our house... even for a short period of time.

Give People a Chance

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 12:12:00 +0000

In the past week, at least ten of my friends, family members, or co-workers have told me, “I just don’t like people!” Some of them simply mean they like their own people, their core group, their “fab five”, but they don’t like new people. Others don’t like any people at all. Whenever my sister and I are talking about why she chooses not to have any girlfriends, we come to the conclusion that most people are disappointing. Some individuals will put all of their focus onto one fabulous person who they will put on a pedestal. In these instances, they typically have some sort of tunnel vision where that one person can do no wrong and this causes a dysfunctional reaction where they treat everyone else in their life horribly. Some people are only capable of being nice to one person at any given time in life.

I generally like people, but the older I get I have been feeling less and less interested in meeting new people. This is not easy considering I am in school where I am constantly exposed to new students in each new class and in the workplace where employees will come and go as often as the clients do. By no means am I writing this to be negative, but I think it would surprise a lot of people that I have a generalized social discomfort when it comes to meeting anyone new. For example, if a group of my friends make plans to do something and someone says, “I hope it’s ok, I invited my friend Suzy/Joe/Lucy”, I immediately have this inner sense of panic. A lot of that comes from the fact that I have such a sense of comfort with those closest to me, and when you throw a new person into the mix, I will feel like I have to be “on.” In my career, my boss feels like networking events are extremely important, so I sign up to attend and immediately before the event, I start feeling like I am going on a first date or as if it is my first day of school. This is not because I am uncomfortable with who I am. It is more because I am 41 years old and I don’t want to have to try so hard all of the time. Most of the time, I just want to find a comfortable chair to sit in and if people come to me, great. I just don’t want to have to mingle. The older you get, the harder it is to repeat your basic “facts” to one new person, much less many of them, over and over and over again.

The truth is, had I not given people a chance, new people, I would not be so blessed with some really outstanding friends. I recently gave a hard time to a friend of mine who decided it was time to focus on just a few people in her life – her “fab five” so to speak. (Did I make the cut? Only time will tell I guess! But my gut instinct tells me I have a pretty good chance). I realized that I probably have done the same thing. Gone are the days when the quantity of friend in my life was a status symbol. These days it is the quality of those people that matters most. So maybe you feel like you don’t like people, but think of those people who make you laugh when you need it most. Some of them can have an hour-long conversation about why Butter never has a Bad Night. Others will impress you when they actually understand your Baby Jessica in the well reference when you come to the conclusion that your house was possibly built on top of a sinkhole. Some people will wipe your tears away when you cry and when you are going through what might seem like the worst thing in the world, they will feel your pain. There are some people who will have your back no matter what, even if they feel deep down inside there might be a chance that you are wrong – they will never let you or anyone else know that. So today, for this day, give people a chance.

Forty

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 13:14:00 +0000

Today is my husband’s 40^th birthday. I can’t help having that Kid Rock “I guess I’m $#@%ing forty” song ringing in my head. In honor of his birthday, I am wearing a shirt that looks like it could have been made in 1973. I, myself, am already 41. Soon to be 42 in July of this year. Today my husband ruins my façade of being a woman in her forties married to a man in his thirties. Today my husband told me he feels “REALLY OLD!”

I met Jason when we were both in our early twenties. We were just a few years older than our “grown up” twin boys are right now. In fact, when my husband met me, he also met those twin boys. At an age when he should have been spending his life in bars or drinking beer in a bachelor pad, he made the decision to accept the “package deal” of starting a life with the three of us. Over the years we have moved into numerous rentals (duplexes, apartments, townhouses), driven at least ten different cars (Oldsmobiles, Buicks, Fords, Pontiacs, Chevys, Toyotas and Kias), had ridiculous parties (weddings, birthdays, housewarming, graduation parties), changed jobs, got married, had a daughter, bought a house, got a dog, took trips up north, took trips to far away places, stayed in hotels – sometimes all five of us packed into one room, went back to school to earn degrees, changed our careers, learned to like (God forbid!) Country music, brought a kid to college, brought a kid home from college, watched a kid graduate from Air Force basic training, lost a house, went back to a rental, learned to laugh over car accidents and things that didn’t quite go our way, learned to live paycheck to paycheck without fear, learned to cook, watched 1000s of movies and tv shows we would become fanatical about for a moment in time.

And all of this did not make us wiser and more mature. It mellowed us. It simplified what has made us happy. It made me laugh in the middle of a ridiculous argument about the fact that my husband does not like Stevie Nicks. (Ok, I am still kind of mad about THAT one.) My husband Jason is still a big kid at heart. So I hope my husband has a wonderful 40^th birthday and does not feel old, but instead feels proud of his life. Happy birthday old man!!

A Letter to My Program Director

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 13:58:00 +0000

As I move closer toward graduating in May of this year (yes it's official I WILL graduate... even got the confirmation email yesterday... unless I really mess something up!), I have been reflecting upon how my education has improved my life, as well as how much my instructors have done for me. This morning I sent an email to Lisa Mayer, the Director of the Paralegal Program at NWTC. I would like to share it.

Hi Lisa,
I just wanted to send you a quick email to let you know I am now working as a
full-time litigation paralegal at Epiphany Law in Appleton, for Attorney Valerie
Revnew. One of my co-workers, who works with business entity formations and
real estate transactions, is Stephanie Fitzwilliam, who took Civil Litigation
classes with you and graduated from NWTC last year. She wanted me to tell you
hello. I am really enjoying my job at Epiphany, and working in the litigation
area. I know many students think you are a very tough instructor, as you should
be being the director of the program. I wanted to thank you for being that kind
of teacher, to help us remember those things like "file, serve, file." I
appreciate all that I learned from you in class because it is truly helping me
out in the work world. I learned more from your class than any other class I
have taken, and believe me it makes my job much easier. Many people won't
appreciate what they have learned in the program until they are actually thrown
into the whole crazy chaos of a day as a paralegal. Often our supervising
attorneys do not give us the most concise instructions, and we have to use the
skills we were taught in school to find the answers, so that we can present
intelligent questions to our supervising attorney when we are not quite clear
regarding what we are being asked to do. I wish I could tell everyone in the
paralegal program how important our schooling is, because this is not a field
where you are given a specific training manual for every situation you might
encounter. Again, thank you so much for being an amazing instructor and helping
me to become a successful paralegal.

I will graduate in May and am very proud to already have a full-time position.
I had been working part time for the past few years in at Peterson, Berk and
Cross but that was more of an intern type position. This is the real deal! The
firm I work for treats us so well and I feel very fortunate! Here is a link to
my bio and Stephanie's bio on our law firm website in case you are interested in
a few successful students of the program:

http://www.epiphanylaw.com/about-us/meet-the-epiphany-law-team/item/karrie-minor

http://www.epiphanylaw.com/about-us/meet-the-epiphany-law-team/item/stephanie-fitzwilliam

Thank you,
Karrie Minor

After a Long Reprieve.... I'm Back

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 12:29:00 +0000

I feel like I should apologize for not writing for so long. But you know, life tends to get crazy and all sorts of changes have happened in the past two months. At the end of December, I was offered a full time position at a law firm in Appleton, which of course I accepted. In January my son graduated from Air Force Basic Training, which meant a trip to San Antonio, Texas. And finally, I have started my last semester of school. I am sure of it this time, as I only have those last two classes. As you can imagine, life has been busy.

I will get back to that Texas thing later in the week, as there will be another blog about that trip. What I wanted to focus on today was the word "busy." Life is extremely busy and often we don't have time to get together with people in our lives. We procrastinate. We put off working out. We put off doctor's appointments. We put off doing our taxes. We use the excuse that we are busy. In all of my time being "busy", I have tried to continue to make time for those people who are truly important in my life. I have a great support system of friends and family, and no matter how busy I am I don't want anyone to feel neglected. Especially those of you who are always there for me.

What if there is someone in your life who only has time to pencil you in? (seriously Lori, this is no offense to you at all :) You always make time for me, but I like that whole pencil you in phrase.) I have always been a firm believer that if someone cares about you enough, they are never too busy for you. They will make time for you. This weekend, my daughter had a major medical issue she was recovering from, but I received a call from a friend who had a flat tire and needed a ride to go pick up a new tire, and take her to watch her change said tire. (No, I did not help, I simply offered moral support with the tire changing.) It would have been really easy to explain how busy I was and how I had so many things going on. But I didn't. Because she needed me and it was not a big deal to take an hour out of my day to help out. I just imagine if I was in that situation myself.... she would be there in an insta-second to help me.

Other than busy, there are people who seem to think life works on their schedule. When they have time to do something, or get together with you, they feel like you should jump and adhere to their need for immediate action. Perhaps this does not work with your own schedule. No one should expect you to adhere to their schedule either. (Unless this involves homework, or work deadlines... please be sure to meet those). With our friends and family and all loved ones, we should work together, it is called compromise. Life is not about demanding or commanding those in your life what to do and when.

We are all busy, we all have schedules. Yet we all have the ability to compromise. To multi-task. And to make time for what is really important in life. So today, slow down a little, breathe, take some time out for someone or something you have been putting off. You will feel good about it.

The Angels Are Singing

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Sat, 15 Dec 2012 20:17:00 +0000

This is possibly the most difficult blog post I have written. I had intentions of writing it yesterday but I don’t think I was in the right place emotionally to do that. Even today, each time I think there is something that I need to write, I go to my computer and read a few more news articles about yesterday’s shooting at an elementary school in Connecticut, and find myself in tears. The more I read, the harder it actually gets to write something that makes sense in the midst of a senseless act. Although I have been known to do the opposite in the past, recently I have tried to find a positive message, even in the worst situations imaginable. What could be positive about innocent children losing their lives? A senseless act. Since first hearing of what occurred, I have had a continuous fast forward loop in my head of not only my own children at elementary school age, but also the kindergarteners that I spent time with, volunteering at a local elementary school a few years ago. The childlike innocence and wonder. The enthusiasm for discovering the world. The openness and kindness and pure hearts that have not yet become jaded and cynical by this thing we call life. I haven’t talked to many people about how this has affected me, because each time I think of it, or hear or read one more news report, I feel that lump in my throat, forcing tears out of my eyes to roll down my cheeks… I literally feel as if I am choking on my own sorrowful emotions. The sadness for lives lost, for Christmas presents that will go unopened and for the pain that no parent should ever have to endure, the loss of a child.

We also need to remember the others, those who lost their lives, and those who lived, all of them heroes. The adults who found themselves helpless, in an uncontrollable situation, trying to protect the children that these parents entrusted them with on a daily basis. A principal who tried to overtake a gunman. A teacher, who hid the children in her classroom in cabinets and closets, telling the gunman the children were in the gym, only to lose her own life. Another teacher, who saved the lives of the children in her charge by barricading herself and the entire class in a bathroom, making sure to tell them that she loved each and every one of them, trying not cry, just wanting to be sure that if that was the last thing those kids ever heard, they knew they were loved. The little boy who told that same teacher “It’s ok, I know karate, I can lead us out of here past the bad guys.” A librarian, who brought children into a storage room, calm enough to find paper and crayons so in order to keep them distracted from the fear they might otherwise have.

I don’t know if there will ever be an explanation to satisfy all of our questions about why this happened. Even those of us with ironclad faith that God has a plan, no matter what happens, His plan surpasses all human understanding, find it difficult to make sense of this. I realize that what I am saying is similar to everything you have heard already. Though I have asked God to bless me with some wisdom to share that might help at least one person to find peace in this tragic situation, I still find myself without any unique or magical words. And even though you have continuously heard this over the past day and a half, I will say it all again. Take the time to give some extra hugs every day, not only to your children, but also to anyone important in your life. Make sure that no matter what, through struggles and arguments, and even when you are angry that you ALWAYS say “I love you.” Remember to show gratitude and appreciation to those whom you entrust with the care of your children…. And even when you don’t agree with teachers of your children, parents of the children you teach, friends of your children, parents of your children’s friends and even your own children - try to remember how fortunate you are to have those people in your life and how none of those disagreeable emotions would matter if you had to experience first-hand what those in Newtown, Connecticut went through yesterday.

God bless the new Angels and Saints in Heaven, who now watch over us.

Goodbyes and Hello to New Adventures

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 15:51:00 +0000

The end of the semester is drawing near and we are all wrapping up final assignments/projects and hoping to get them completed early so we can get a start on the Christmas season. However, my mind has been elsewhere lately. On Monday, I took my son Mack down to Milwaukee to drop him off to ship off to the Air Force. (Thank you thank you thank you for the moral support and driving skills while a mama had a meltdown to my/our very very very awesome, magnificent and outstanding friend who accompanied us. I love you to the moon and back for being there; knowing the right things to say to keep the conversation positive and provide us with laughter on what might have otherwise been a real downer of a trip!) Mack stayed in a hotel on Monday night, did his final “stuff” – height and weight check, contract signing and sworn in to active duty – at the Military Entrance Processing Station (MEPS) on Tuesday morning. By noon on Tuesday, I received a text from him that he was on his way to the airport to fly down to San Antonio. Relief knowing that his crazy metabolism did not cause him to lose too much weight overnight and he made the minimum. I personally have no clue where he got that from because I definitely do not suffer from an overactive metabolism myself! Many texts later, after 10pm at night, he told me he was in San Antonio, on the bus to Basic Training. Heading into 8 weeks – 44 working days - of getting his butt kicked for a kid who grew up with the most easy going mom with very few rules and a lot of love. I am sure he can count on one hand how many times I have actually yelled at him in the past 19 years. Tuesday afternoon I received a phone call from him and it was great to hear his voice. He sounded good and said it was not as bad as he expected – so far – that no one was too mean … so far. Though I understand this is called Zero Week and the worst is upcoming over the next two weeks. At the point I spoke to him, he had not yet gotten his head shaved, hair he has not cut for almost a year which has turned into this crazy curly thick mess usually hidden under a knit beanie type hat worn even in summer, hair which he figured at least added one pound to his weight.

My son signed into the Air Force for 6 years, so although we will fly to Texas and see him at his Graduation from Basic Training, he will be off to Air Force Tech School immediately after that (not sure where, but not likely close to home) and then stationed somewhere (hopefully) fabulous so that he can start the adventure of real life. He will likely make a career out of this, meaning it is highly unlikely he will ever be back home for longer than a few weeks of leave, and it is unlikely he will ever call Green Bay, Wisconsin his home again. As I am typing this, I am shedding a few tears at that thought. If you are reading this and your children are still young, believe me when I say “you’re gonna miss this.” What led up to his decision to join the military was not an easy road. Both of my sons (and my daughter) are extremely intelligent. Mack probably has a genius IQ. However, if the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, Mack will zig-zag and take the long way around to get there. He could score 100% on exams in high school, but refused to do homework because he felt it was a waste of time if he already knew and understood the material. I have a crystal clear memory of sitting in the parking lot of West High School on an early morning in the Fall of 2009, after practically dragging him out of bed to get him to go to school, both of us crying. I was asking him to tell me what I could do to help him, because as a parent I truly needed to help him to be successful and have a successful future, and whatever I was doing at that point clearly was not working. So Mack went into several different alternative programs that he was probably far too intelligent for (night school, CESA) and did what he had to. When he told me he wanted to drop out of the CESA program, I fought as hard as I could to get him into the GED2 program at West which would allow him to study for and take the GED/HSED tests fully paid by the school district and still receive a West High Diploma. We knew this along with the other alternative programs meant he would not have a GPA on his high school transcripts, something a four year college would not accept unless he went to a 2 year school, such as NWTC. He completed and passed all of the GED tests with honors (I believe this a 95% or higher score on each test) within 4 weeks. We initially discussed him attending NWTC, however, as a student there myself, I knew that meant a lot of homework. Since he was not exactly on board with this whole homework situation, he brought up his desire to join the military. Since he was very young he had thought of being in the military, but now he was really going to do it. After investigating several branches of the military, he chose the Air Force. As a parent, I asked him over and over if he was sure this is what he wanted to do. Over the past months leading up to him leaving, each time he “wanted to talk” to me, I had concerns that he had changed his mind. However, he committed to it and he has followed through… and now as I am writing this he is about to endure the worst 8 weeks of his life, yet I know he understands it is all worth it. It seems like the past 19 years were as short as one day, and suddenly you are all grown up. Son, although I miss you like only a mother could miss a child (feels something like my heart being ripped out of my chest when I am folding up your Pokemon blanket you have slept with since you were 6 years old and putting it away in a closet), you make me proud and I love you.

"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security and conformity, which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day, to have a new and different sun." - Christopher McCandeless, "Into the Wild"

Giving Thanks

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 16:24:00 +0000

Thanksgiving is less than a week away and though many people are focused on opening gun/deer hunting weekend aka deer hunting widow's weekend, Black Friday shopping, or a few much needed days off of work, I would like everyone to take some time to consider what you are thankful for in your life this year. Since most of the big holidays occur at the end of the calendar year, it seems to be a good time to reflect on the past 12 months. One year is 12 months, 365 days, 8760 hours, 525,600 minutes or 31,536,000 seconds. That is a lot of time to consider. Many families have a tradition to go around the Thanksgiving dinner table and take turns stating what they are thankful for. In recent years, the downturn of our economy has likely changed what we are thankful for. No longer are we thankful for material possessions, expensive vacations, and a six figure income - the things we are thankful for are often things we cannot put a price tag on. Some of us are thankful to be working at all, even if it at a minimum wage job or two jobs.

I asked some friends to tell me what they are thankful for this year, so before I get into my own list of "giving thanks", I would like to share some of their responses:

" I am thankful for my family ...but im also thankful for facebook cause in the least year alone i have found alot of people that i normally would not see on a regular basis and to find them well and to catch up on old times or family that is in other parts of the state that i get to either talk to or just read what they are up to....cause nowadays you just don't know what can happen from day to day....one day they are here and the next they are gone. I have had a lot happen in the last year."

"My savior, my family, my health, and the world for it is our play ground."

"my kids, first and foremost. but i am sooo thankful for my family and friends. and I am really thankful for my ex husband. He really showed me what i DONT deserve, and from that, I became independent. hahahahahaaaa."

"I'm thankful for a roof over my head, food in my belly, a job, parents & a brother that i love dearly."

What am I personally thankful for this year? My beautiful, intelligent and healthy children. My husband who is the hardest working man I know, loves me more than anyone ever could, thinks I am beautiful even when I am not, and is truly a partner in life showing me the meaning of "no matter what, we will make it work." My mother, my sisters, my brother, my brother in laws, my sister-in-laws, my nieces and nephews and cousins and all of my extended family. The opportunity for education. The roof over my head and a warm bed to sleep in at my cozy new home I moved into this year. The ability to work, regardless of how much or little money I make. My dog who is neurotic and goofy and a little bit dumb, but is truly a member of our family. Conversations at the kitchen table with my family and friends. Friendships that give me a second family and make me feel a little less alone in the world. The kindness of friends and family. Understanding. The freedom I have because I am an American citizen. Church and my faith in God, whose hand I have felt on my shoulder guiding me through life so much in the past 12 months. Unlocked doors which mean I might come home to unannounced visitors or I may be an unannounced visitor in someone else's home. Friday nights and Sunday mornings. Genuine laughter. Sunshine. Forgiveness I have been given and have found. And finally...my life... filled with love.

188 Days Until Summer

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Tue, 13 Nov 2012 16:32:00 +0000

Yesterday with the first flakes of snow falling from the sky, summer seems like a hundred years into the past or the future. I was personally confused about these flakes of snow thinking it was possibly dust flying out of my head to clear it from the crazy weekend, but it turned out that it was indeed snow. As expected, Facebook was loaded with posts about the snow, but one comment caught my eye. My best friend's daughter made a comment "189 days until summer!" I responded by stating that makes it sound so far away. With the positivity that only a 13 year-old could possess, she told responded back by telling me to "just do 189 crazy things, and it'll be over like thaaat!" At my age, "crazy things" are a bit different than what they used to be. Regardless of that, it got me thinking about fun things to do that will pass the time of these winter months, especially when many people suffer from seasonal depression.

Sit around a bonfire or in front of a fireplace drinking hot cocoa and eating s’mores. Add Bailey’s to the hot cocoa. Make snow angels. Go sledding. Jump in a pile of raked leaves. Spend the afternoon at the library. Spend an entire day in pajamas reading books. Have a Holiday movie marathon including “A Christmas Story”, “The Nightmare Before Christmas” and “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Go to the Garden of Lights at the Botanical Garden. Take your kids, grandkids or someone else’s kids to meet Santa at the mall. Write letters to friends and/or loved ones who are in the military or overseas and will be away for the holidays. Do the Polar Plunge. Go for a ride on the back of a snowmobile. Go to a tree farm where you can chop down your own Christmas Tree. Play a board game with your family. Play Wii or Xbox Kinect games with your family. Watch the Packers win more games. Spend the weekend at an indoor waterpark. Dance in the rain or snow and sing at the top of your lungs. Sing Karaoke. Invite friends over to your house for a fondue dinner. Buy a Christmas Gift for a less fortunate stranger. Make up goofy new lyrics to all of the Christmas Carols you know and sing them at the top of your lungs. Get a manicure, a pedicure, or a new hairstyle. Buy cheap Christmas ornaments at the Dollar Store and decorate them yourself in your own creative way. Have a chili cook-off with your family and friends. Put on a formal dress (prom dress, bridesmaid dress, wedding dress) and spend the entire day in it just walking around your house like a soap opera star. Bake Christmas Cookies and get creative with your decorations and do a cookie exchange with friends. Do a “winter cleaning” day. Buy a fur coat at Goodwill and wear it to the grocery store. Shovel snow for a neighbor. Have a snowball fight with your kids, your dog, your friends. Build a Nativity scene or Christmas village out of popsicle sticks. Go wine tasting on a Saturday afternoon. Make breakfast for dinner. Make dinner for breakfast. Watch the sunrise on a wintry day. Watch the snow melt on a spring day. Spend the day in fuzzy slippers. Wear a Santa hat. Go ice skating. Play laser tag. Make a fort with blankets in your living room. Move your couch or loveseat into the kitchen. Have an indoor picnic. Have an indoor picnic by candlelight. Go to Sam’s Club and try all of the free samples. Visit a museum. Visit a local art gallery. Join a book club. Join a cooking class. Make a meal for someone who is extremely busy and deliver it to their home. Write a Christmas Play and act it out (complete with costumes) and video record it. Kiss someone under the mistletoe. Write inspirational thoughts on post it notes and stick them all over someone’s house who needs cheering up. Make a snowman. Do a jigsaw puzzle. Call someone you haven’t spoken to in awhile and talk on the phone rather than just text or instant message. Throw a party with a “worst holiday sweater” contest/theme. Build a snowman. Knit a scarf. Eat an icicle. Cut out snowflakes and hang them from your ceiling like you did in elementary school. Write a short story, a long story, a song or a poem. Go to a music store and try out all of the instruments. Babysit for someone who desperately needs a night out… for free. Make someone laugh. Make a photo book as a Christmas gift for someone special. Spend all day with your best friend just talking about anything and everything. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Take a bubble bath. Eat macaroni and cheese in the bubble bath. Volunteer for a cause you believe in. Clean out your closet and donate what you don’t want, need, or fit into to charity. Go to the gym. Re-arrange your furniture. Ask someone to be your valentine. Drink green beer on St. Patrick’s Day. Kiss someone at midnight on New Year’s Eve. Make a music video. Make a parody commercial. Learn to play guitar. Take a horse and carriage ride. Replace your regular lotion with suntan lotion so you smell like summer. Have an indoor beach party. Go downhill skiing. Learn to ski. Write a letter to Santa from your adult self. Sing in church, at the top of your lungs. Dance with a stranger. Hold hands. Tell someone you love them.

And lastly.... make your own winter "bucket" list!

The Holidays Are Right Up The Aisle

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 14:20:00 +0000

Does it seem that immediately after Halloween, we skip directly to this Christmas mindset? As I was (last minute) costume shopping for my Halloween, initially I was unable to find the Halloween Costumes. Walking down the main aisle at Shopko all I could see was a beacon of Christmas lights and trees and decor. I finally found the picked over Halloween aisle hidden next to scads of wrapping paper, Santa Claus decorations, and basic Christmas Bling!!! I probably should not judge considering when I moved into my new house on September 1st, my biggest worry while arranging my new living room furniture was deciding whether to put an end table in a certain corner because that was where the Christmas Tree would go. I am enamored by the faux Christmas Tree I purchased last year simply because it is pre-lit. For years everyone I know has had a pre-lit tree while I fought with stringing lights, burnt out lights, endless last minute trips to Family Dollar because strings of lights from last year had burnt out and running back because I didn't buy QUITE ENOUGH to cover the entire tree. My Christmas tree toppers have included a half decapitated Angel that my daughter broke because she thought it was a toy, crooked stars that just didn't sit right, heavy objects that practically tipped tree over, and something that looked like a glittered elf hat which caused me to find glitter all over my house well into Summer!

My point is, once again, I am just not ready for Christmas yet. I haven't even decided how big of a turkey my sister needs to cook for Thanksgiving, or reminded her not to forget the stuffing and we don't want that stove top junk, or busted her trying to pass off pumpkin pie from the Piggly Wiggly as her own just because she took it out of the plastic container (this required me searching thru her trash to find the covers because NO WAY did she bake that pie!) This year Christmas might be even more difficult for our family because as long as my son Mack who has a ridiculously high metabolism gains the 9 pounds required, he is leaving for Air Force Basic Training on November 26th. This means that he won't be with us for Christmas. This would be the first Christmas ever that he was away from me and away from his twin brother. I have tried to focus on the true meaning of Christmas, celebrating the birth of Jesus, in hopes that would help me find peace with my son's absence for the Holiday, and it has helped me a bit. Christmas to me is not about giving or receiving grandiose gifts, the real joy in Christmas is that it brings family together and as Jesus would want it, it is about LOVE. With this in mind, I believe we may just have to turn November 22nd into a holiday trifecta of Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year's all rolled into that one day. Money is tight these days so no, that doesn't mean early gifts for my family, what it does mean is a whole day full of love and togetherness. I am pretty sure we can pull it off!

Happy Holidays!

Broke as a Joke

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Thu, 25 Oct 2012 14:37:00 +0000

I am sure many of you poor college students can relate to the title of this post. Many of you are young, immediately out of high school, and expected this. And others are like me, hit hard by the economy, probably spent a few years overspending, buying things you can no longer afford because the money seemed endless and the sky seemed to be the limit for what you could earn, achieve, purchase, and accomplish. However, like me, you now realize you should have been smarter with your money. You should have set some aside for a rainy day, or the day you lost your job. Had you done this, you may not have ever seen your material possessions disappear into thin air, repossessed, foreclosed upon or sold to make way for a cheaper version that you could actually afford because of job loss or a pay cut. But alas, the glass is NOT half empty. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. These material things, this money you may have once earned, which felt like a status symbol, are not the things by which we measure a person. Because my friends, the best things in life are free. What's really important in life are the things that we cannot put a price tag on... think of those Master Card commercials and the one item they list as "priceless."

Back in my 20's I read a book called "The Broke Diaries" which was written by a young woman who went through a slew of low paying jobs and whose meals consisted mostly of Ramen Noodles. Back then I could relate, as I was living on leftovers my then boyfriend/future husband brought home from his job cooking at the Olive Garden. (It's only in the past few years that I am able to stand the sight of Breadsticks and Pasta Fagiol soup.) Years passed and we were blessed with prosperity that made me say things like "As GOD IS MY WITNESS, I WILL NEVER EAT GENERIC MACARONI AND CHEESE AGAIN!" As life tends to do, it has come full circle and I am once again checking the couch cushions for change the day before pay day. And once again, I can relate to "The Broke Diaries." I could write my own broke diary! Yet this time I am not crying about it, or waiting for prosperity and wealth to return. This time I feel thankful for what I DO have. A roof over my head, a family who loves me (my 18 year old son bowing down at my feet the other night because I made those hot dog/cheese/crescent roll wraps - a comfort food of his childhood - to him this is better than a lobster dinner!), friends who are there for me and always take care of my family (dropping off bags of what one calls "b*llsh!t food" a/k/a junk food causing my husband to profess his love for these generous women as we have a buffet of chips and dips and muffins standing at our "furniture in a box" kitchen island snacking away), those friends giving me constant loans of $20 here and there until payday, and God, who I feel closer to than I ever have before, has blessed me with a beautiful life and looking forward to all of my tomorrows.

That being said, even if I do come into greater prosperity and wealth in the future, I will continue to live a simple life. I don't have any great dreams of grandiose material possessions; I am content with what I have at this moment. I would rather use any extra money I have to give back to others that may be going through what I am going through myself at this moment, and give back to those dear souls who have helped me through rough times. I will live my life with a greater purpose and understanding. And just as it is right now, the greatest "riches" in my life will be love.

What Is A Friend?

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 14:53:00 +0000

What is a friend? Is it a BFF, a bestie, a sister from another mister or a brother from another mother? A friend is someone with whom you share my random, often ridiculous, thoughts and moments. When you speak, a friend will listen, with interest and give feedback, opinions, advice, encouragement and when you need it, a little bit of tough love. A friend will remember EVERYTHING about you, good and bad, because a friend wants to know you well enough to ACTUALLY know you. A friend can predict your actions and reactions as if they were her own. When you are hurt, a friend will feel that hurt and keep you in her heart even if she is not with you. A friend is the first person you want to share good news with and when you are happy and will share that happiness with you. A friend will care about your family, your health, your MENTAL health, your career, you goals and aspirations. If a friend only has $20, she will loan you $15. A real friend will have your back, no matter what – even if she doesn’t necessarily agree with you, she will take your side. A friend gives you a sense of comfort in life and in her home, and has the same comfort in yours. A friend never has to knock on your door; she is always welcome to walk right in. A friend will share their family, siblings and forever friends with you. A friend never makes you feel like a third wheel. A friend will open your eyes to things you may have never seen and expand your interests and open your mind. A friend can make you laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh until you are almost crying, sharing your same warped sense of humor. A friend will help you overcome obstacles and heartbreak and hurt, even if it just means just sitting next to you in silence for as long as you need her to. Friends are not afraid to cry in front of one other. They share secrets during the darkest hours and also on the finest days. Friends might go to hell and back fighting for one another and WITH one another. A real friend will call you at 10:00 at night to work out an argument or misunderstanding from earlier in the day because she doesn’t want you to go to sleep feeling bad. You will never have to ask a true friend for help because she will know when you need it and offer it up before you even have a chance to ask.

So when someone asks me “what is a friend?” - it isn’t a simple answer. True friendship involves layers and layers of complex STUFF and hours of conversations about anything and everything. True friendship involves adventures and shenanigans and inside jokes and catchphrases and laughter and tears. A true friend is the one person who can make you feel better when it feels like God has finally given you AS MUCH AS YOU CAN HANDLE. A true friend is part of your “chosen family” and a true friend is rare, but if you are lucky enough to find one, that person will help you to feel a little less alone in this big, big world.

The Greatest Country in the World

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Wed, 17 Oct 2012 23:29:00 +0000

In the midst of this election year and all of the drama that has caused family and friends to engage in Facebook wars and arguments with one another, I wanted to share something that I found not only amusing but also inspirational. Although I personally keep saying "Ron Paul 2012!" or "people like Obama and people like Romney, but I just like wine", I do have my own political views. I have tried my best to express them in an adult appropriate manner. However, it is very disheartening to me that many Americans have resorted to name calling and middle school type tactics to defend their "side". No matter what I agree with or disagree with, I am open to listening to for the opinions and views of friends, family, acquaintances and strangers and I respect their point of view.

The link attached pokes a little bit of fun of both sides, but also shows how two people (celebrities at that) can come together and teach each other a little bit about the "other side". It shows that we do not need to have a Civil War over a presidential election, we can still love and respect one another and sometimes we just have to agree to disagree. This is the foundation on which America was built. Differences and diversity are what makes this the greatest country in the world and makes me proud to be an American. Though some of you might relate to Sean and some of you might relate to Bob, look into your heart and find the real message in this short film. One Nation, under God, indivisible we stand.

Click on the link below to watch the film:
Americans - A Public Service Message by Kid Rock and Sean Penn

Going directly to the 12th Grade from Kindergarten

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Mon, 08 Oct 2012 15:33:00 +0000

Recently a friend of mine purchased an iPhone. I believe she may be the last person on the face of the Earth who did not own a smart phone. In fact, it seemed as if she used the same flip-phone since 1999 and had no desire to upgrade. I am not sure if this phone was military grade which meant it did not incur damages when dropped on concrete or water spilled on it, and how could she go that many years without ever losing it? It is hard to believe that one person could just be THAT CAREFUL with their phone. Or that this person never had any desire to possess a phone with applications for Facebook, You Tube, Google Maps Navigation, or Twitter. How on Earth could she even travel anywhere without a Navigator to tell her the best way to get to Australia was via Kayak across the Pacific? I am not even sure if this phone had a camera... and if it did, I am doubtful it had the capacity to send or receive a picture message. This seemed almost unheard of to most of our friends. It became a running joke to say things like "hey Lori, take a picture of this... ohhhh wait you don't have a smart phone!!!"

So finally after years of tolerating being given a hard time, she purchased her very first smart phone. Apparently her motto is "go big or go home" or maybe she figured she would make sure no one could ever make fun of her phone again because instead of starting with something simple and stepping up as we all have done over the years, she went for the Cadillac of smart phones and bought herself an iPhone! (Literally this is comparable to trading in a Ford Pinto for a Cadillac!!) Since her purchase she has learned some new curse words as she learns to operate this phone, randomly calling people without wanting to, learning the joys of auto correct causing her text messages at times to become completely confusing, causing friends to run to the rescue to save this expensive phone from pouring rain, spilled drinks and general damage which all of us long term smart phone users have learned to avoid! This isn't your momma's cellphone anymore! The only other thing I can compare this too is going from kindergarten directly to 12th grade, and skipping all of the grades in between. Considering that, she is not doing too bad. It is nice to be able to send her a Facebook Message at any time and know she can actually read it from her phone. Or not to worry that she is going to get lost on her way to Australia!

TGIF

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Fri, 28 Sep 2012 15:43:00 +0000

I hesitate about using TGIF as the title of this blog post. I dislike that acronym for reasons I am probably not even aware of. For some reason every time I see TGIF in print it makes me think of Tony the Tiger and Kellogg's Frosted Flakes. Don't ask me where this comes from, somewhere in the whirlwind vortex of my subconscious perhaps? And even if it reminds me of that cartoon Tiger and a sugary breakfast cereal, why does that make me dislike the acronym? I am taking a Psychology course this semester so that should give me some insight..... or not... My only guess is that my mom probably brought Frosted Flakes when they were on sale while I stood in the cereal aisle of the tiny IGA store in Crivitz and had a huge 4 year-old temper tantrum because I wanted Boo-Berry, and my 5 year-old sister had an identical tantrum because she wanted Count Chocula. Those cereal box characters seemed much more appealing to me than this silly Tiger saying "THEY'RE GRRRREAAATTT!" (Which was honestly a lie because they are not that great, unless your breakfast of choice is cardboard covered in layers of sugar and you don't care that by the time you reach my age you will have had extensive dental work resulting in less teeth in your head than fingers on your right hand.)

That said, I am not going to shout out TGIF to my co-workers today, nor am I going to set it as my Facebook status, nor am I going to hashtag it on Twitter. I WILL say that yes it's Friday, which is a sacred day in the lives of Monday through Friday workers all over the world. On Friday you can get away with giving less than 100% at work. On Friday, you can take an extra long lunch break. On Friday, you do not have to feel guilty about sending personal emails. On Friday, you can message your friends on Facebook and not feel the need to alt/tab to another screen or minimize the window every time on of your Ninja co-workers sneak up behind you. On Friday, you can walk into your boss's office at 2 pm and say, "It's kind of slow today, would it be ok if I left early today?" Truth is, the only thing that is truly slow is your own motivation.

On this sacred Friday, I will likely do all of those things because I worked extra hard yesterday just to make sure I could. I will leave work early today. And I won't feel guilty that I went out for an impromptu 9pm drink last night after a "five minute warning" phone call from a friend that she was coming to pick me up and stayed up later than I should have. I will go home to see if my UPS delivery order from the jewelry party (which included some really strange moments and some kind of ceremony?) has arrived. Later on, I will get together with a few of my friends to find out about their respective work weeks. Although the one I am most anxious to hear of is from "Chelsea" who insisted "the last thing I want to do tonight is serve my own drinks to me and clean up after myself!" This included a full job description of her Adventures in Babysitting Daycare where she and her business partner have glamorous moments of changing diapers, feeding kids with endless questions, sporting spit up in their hair and wiping boogers, the whole time getting wire hangers thrown at them. We are sure going to have a lot to talk about tonight! I hope she doesn't forget the wine sippy cup for me!

A Little Piece about Peace and Contentment

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Wed, 26 Sep 2012 23:57:00 +0000

Lately I have been feeling very content with my life. Not in a comfortable stuck in a rut kind of way, but just content in a way that I feel more at ease in general. (With myself, with the people in my life, with where I am at and where life has yet to lead me.) Other than the random mishaps which somehow ONLY happen to me - such as mistaking a live bee on the floor for a piece of fuzz or a crumb and haplessly picking it up with my bare hand and realizing it is a bee once it stings me and my hand blows up to the size of a boxing glove - my life has been void of major drama. Yet all of this leads me to question what exactly makes each and every one of us feel content. Not that overwhelmingly happy WOO HOO I WON A FABULOUS ALL EXPENSE PAID VACATION TO ARUBA feeling, rather more of a feeling of general satisfaction in life. The feeling where you wake up WITHOUT a looming sense of dread about the work day or school day or household chores. Where did that feeling go? Did it get lost with all of those socks that disappear leaving one lone sock to go it alone in life after a medium heat tumble dry? Or did I just grow out of that negative sense of dread that once gripped my soul each time the alarm went off in the morning. I sure didn’t win the lottery or get my own reality show or find the path to peace through a motivational speaker or a self-help book. Yet, in the past month I just feel “better.” Perhaps I sound like an individual who has suddenly found her way past great hardship or loss or a deep depression, but that’s not it either.

Some people have great goals and aspirations in life that they strive toward on a daily basis. I love to hear my friends and family speak passionately about the kind of life that they are working toward and what they intend to achieve. This inspires me. However, in the past, I always felt that competitive need to have something just as good to share with them. Trying to keep up with the big dreams and accomplishments of others as well as what others expect of me might be my biggest flaw. Maybe old age or the wisdom of those around me has made me realize that each of us is different. We all have different dreams. Life is not a competition. Life is not a marathon. Right now life for me isn’t even a “mall walk.” At this moment life has slowed down to a beautiful stroll through the woods on a fall day when I can feel the sun on my face and the wind in my hair. My big dreams have become baby steps and simple moments. My goals are to find something to smile about every morning, to surround myself with people who provide me with genuine laughter and good conversation, sometimes intelligent, sometimes just silly; to read a good book; to work hard and study hard – but not so hard that it consumes me; to become a better listener; to eat good food that is not always good FOR me; to drink a little bit of wine (ok really I was going to say GOOD wine, but anyone who knows me knows I like my $2.99 Walgreen’s Merlot); to NOT get angry about little things; to savor every GOOD moment in life and burn it into my memory; to live life with ease and peace and project that so others feel more at ease around me; and to appreciate those priceless things that cannot be measured. So maybe I will continue my career in the Paralegal field, as I get closer to graduation and beyond. But maybe I will write a book or maybe I will just own a used bookstore/café. Maybe I will retire on a beach and live out the rest of my days in a swimsuit and flip-flops. Whatever I do, I will surround myself with love and positive energy and good people who enrich my life and as it does now, that will continue to bring me peace.

If You Had No Obligations, What Would You Do?

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 17:10:00 +0000

A few days ago, a friend of mine who has been going through a bit of self-reflection recently, called me up and excitedly asked if she could read something to me, an essay she had written. As she was reading it, I was so moved that I had goosebumps and tears in my eyes. In a world where life is complex and we are constantly inundated with pressure to acquire material goods, it was powerful to read about a simpler kind of life. I can relate to much of what is written in this essay because of the friendship I have with the author and the endless conversations we have had that have helped me view the recent changes in my own life as a positive step towards my own simpler way of life. However, I also believe that others who read this will find something in this essay that they too can relate to, even if they don’t know the author. My dear friend who wrote this has overcome obstacles, been through hardship, heartbreak, and faced challenges in life greater than many of us could ever imagine. I am so proud of her for her growth as an individual and her enthusiasm, looking ahead toward her future. Today, I would like to share this essay with my blog readers. Thank you Alicia for allowing me to share this on my blog. I believe what is written below speaks for itself.

Life without Obligation

Written by Alicia Stiles

If life was as simple of as waking up each morning and saying to my-self “what would I like to do today?” without the obligation of our society’s idea of everyday life, I honestly believe I would change the world. I am not your typical student, with the goals of the average person, to get a degree in order to move up in the corporate ladder, save money for retirement, go off to some tropical paradise and wait for my body to deteriorate, and simply die, leaving my belongings behind to my children. I have a vision of a different world, a shift in consciousness of the human race. If I had the assets available to me, like money, time, and travel (or the ability to easily relocate myself) I would help to take so many people out of the heartache they spend their every moment in. Life is not about who has the biggest house, the nicest car, the best education, or fighting each other (to the death) to prove which political party stands for “what’s right!” Life is about togetherness. Socialism if you will but not socialism among one country, socialism among all the nations. With this being true, if I had no obligations in my own life I would be able to teach my thoughts to many other people allowing them to feel the spiritual freedom that I feel. With that being said, I honestly do not believe it is possible to be the person I want to be and create the change I would like to see in the world if I do not go through the struggles of everyday life that each person must endure. If I do not have to undertake the battles of fighting for what I want in life I will never be able to equate myself to the feelings of the general public that I hope to someday help to see their own reality in a different light.

There is a never ending darkness that plagues the people of generations that inhabit the earth currently. It is hunger, anger, defeat, power, helplessness, selfishness, the overall feeling of every man for himself. This is not the purpose to life and we will forever dwell in our own sorrows until we let go of the painful pleasures that have controlled and defeated our happiness for centuries. The pain we feel as people comes from an absence of material or emotional feelings. Since the beginning of time, the majority of people in the world have set the principle of what we stand for, and what our goals are, or even what the purpose of life is. By centering our focus on wars, discrimination, materialism, allowing the weakest of mankind to suffer and go without, has allowed the majority of people to believe power and wealth are the purpose of life. Who has the ability to acquire the most possessions? Who are the most attractive people with the ability to be with, what “group think” projects as the “most attractive” members of the opposite sex? These thoughts and feelings are what fuel the nations and allow for so much pain and torture in the hearts of many.

If I had the ability to spend each day dedicated to enriching my soul and growing my spiritual knowledge vs. the knowledge necessary to survive in our politically driven society I would be able to help so many people release themselves from the painful turmoil they feel from holding on to such integrated thoughts. In order to give my kids the life they deserve and the life that will allow them to be successful in the world at large, I must dedicate myself to standardize schooling and starting my own business that will generate revenue in order to ensure them a solid foundation of college and a chance at what we have all been taught is a “better life.” If I had no children, I would not work to create a structure and foundation, in a, money driven, greedy community. I would live simply, choosing to educate myself with many different religions allowing my soul to strengthen and walk as a book of knowledge trying to release people from the manmade reality that consumes them. I had children at the very young age of 17 and 18 and only having been with the “one” boyfriend I had, a handful of times, I truly believe Katelyn and Noah have a purpose in life. Currently, I feel my purpose is to give them all the tools they will need to impact as many people as they come in contact with in their lives because three people have the capability to be so much more influential than one person. I believe life has played out this way because it forces me to connect with the commonality between humans. I do not think it is possible to connect with someone unless you understand them at an emotional level and have experienced the things they have gone through.

Through living life with my children and having to integrate into a culture I do not fundamentally agree with I have learned that I need to be able to connect with people on their own level or I will just come across as though I think I am “better than” the individual or group I would like to cultivate with better thoughts and ideas. I absolutely believe that this idea is vital to the success of helping a large portion of the world understand my point of view when I am able to finally share it. I do not think you can understand “happy” if you never feel “sad” or “hurt,” I believe you cannot really feel “love” until your heart is broken and you feel “the absence of love.” I think it is an adverse effect theory, if you do not understand the “negative,” or the bad feelings, your emotions have no competency to understand the corresponding, ”positive” or good feelings. I consider the same theory when I focus my energy on wanting to help humanity live for something better. If I do not understand their current purpose I will not be able to explain why it would be better any other way.

In conclusion, if I had no obligations in life, not a care in the world, I feel I would probably be a complete waste of space. I would take every moment for granted and live through complete greed and self-indulgence. Through hard work and perseverance, at some point in life, I will reach a place of great success which will allow me to take my focus off of the materiality that has controlled my life to this point. Until then I will continue to go through the motions of the positive and negative feelings and moment’s life brings my way. I will struggle financially and work as hard as I am able to, to create a foundation around me so that I may someday have the understanding and knowledge I need to impact many groups of people in many nations. Hopefully creating a shift in consciousness and opening the hearts of many people who will choose to give their life, the same way I choose to give mine. Ultimately creating the “Heaven on Earth” we as a human race long to embrace.

9/11

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 01:45:00 +0000

On September 11, 2001, I was 30 years old, working in corporate America, a little over two years into a job I would keep for over 8 years until downsizing and restructuring moved those jobs out of this city. My daughter was just a few weeks past her 1^st birthday. My twin sons were 7 years old, soon to be 8. In 2001, Apple introduced the iPod, something we all think we cannot live without anymore. Mountain Dew Code Red had just hit the shelves. Gameboy Advance was a huge deal. Low Rise jeans, Britney Spears, Halo, Bratz, “I Love the 80’s”, reality TV such as Survivor and The Amazing Race, Shrek, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, George W. , Microsoft X-Box, SpongeBob Squarepants, “Will and Grace” and Timothy McVeigh’s execution were just a few things we were talking about. Dale Earnhardt, Joey Ramone, Perry Como, and Aaliya had passed away.

On September 11, 2001 I went to work at 7:30 am just like any other day of my life, sat down in my cubicle and went about my business. Before 8am news reports on my radio at my desk indicated that a small private plane had crashed into one of the towers of the World Trade Center. A few minutes later we heard that another plane hit and reporters announced that they now knew this was not an accident and felt that America was under attack. Then we heard about the plane crashing into the Pentagon. And after that, the crash of United 93 in a field in Pennsylvania (after the brave passengers on that flight, to call them heroes would be an understatement, knowing that their own death was inevitable, still stormed the cockpit to take over the hijackers to save the lives of countless others who that plane would have killed had it crashed into a building.)

In the corporate world, we don’t often turn TVs on unless it is to watch a corporate training video, or perhaps a videotaped speech of our CEO who was residing in another state. Maybe, just maybe, if the company I was working for had a stunning new marketing campaign, we would get to watch a vegetable commercial. But for the most part those TVs were simply attached to a video machine and stored in a closet. Unlike some other businesses, we did not even have a television in the break room to watch soaps or talk shows during our lunch break. For some reason that day, someone, and to this day I do not know who, turned those TVs on so that if anyone wanted we could view the news of this tragedy, this act of terrorism. The last time I had seen a TV turned on to a live news broadcast in a corporate setting was way back in 1995 when the O.J. Simpson Criminal trial verdict was read live on TV. Despite what you might think, I did not immediately get up from my cubicle to watch the news broadcasts. I sat and stared at my name engraved into a nameplate, listening on the radio and imagined on this day how those people who worked in the World Trade Center woke up that morning, put on their business clothes, kissed their partner goodbye, sent the kids off to school and stopped to buy a way too expensive cup of coffee or breakfast sandwich. Those men and women went up the elevator thinking “Damn, it’s only TUESDAY!” Just like I did that morning. Many of those people, just like me didn’t even have a cell phone at the time and didn’t anticipate any reason to speak to their husband/wife/partner/children until they returned home that evening. All I kept thinking is they are dying in that burning tower, some of them jumping out the windows, and their day started that started just like mine is forever changed. Those they left at home or at the bus stop or at the train station that morning will forever be changed. So when I got up from my office chair finally to use the restroom, I was walking by the boardroom and stopped to take a glimpse of the TV at the exact moment the first tower collapsed. I was frozen in the doorway of that room. I don’t know if I ever made it to the restroom.

All I wanted to do was go home and hug my kids and my husband, call my mom and my sister and every single person I loved. That evening, coming home to young children, they said their teachers talked to them at school, but it was still hard to explain. As one of my boys said he was worried because “you work in a tall building” - ok, it was only three floors, but at 7 years old that seems tall. My daughter, my baby, had no idea what was going on, why we were all sitting in front of the TV while she continued to giggle and play and be her pleasant chunk of fun one year old self. That night I prayed and though I hate to admit it, selfishly at first I thanked God that my people in my life were ok, safe in their beds. But then I prayed that he would stay with those who needed him most – that were personally affected by this tragedy. The children whose mother or father did not come home from work. The pregnant mothers who knew the baby they were carrying would never see his or her father. The husbands and wives and parents and brothers and sisters and parents of firefighters and policeman who had no idea if their loved one would return home that night. The people who had THEIR people on those planes, and perhaps got one last phone call and then… nothing.

I think that day, that one day, our nation pulled together and became a unified nation. We put our differences aside and we reached out to strangers in a way we probably never had before. We became kinder and more open. Though it was a horrific day, in some ways it brought our nation together. On this day, eleven years later, we should try to remember that and not only try to be that kind of person again on this day, but maybe every day of our lives.

Last Semester??? Maybe Not

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 14:10:00 +0000

Yesterday I received an email from NWTC Admissions indicating that I was between 1 and 6 credits away from graduation. I was confused thinking I would graduate in December. I had not met with an advisor since my first semester, but felt confident I was choosing all of the classes for the degree requirement in my Paralegal program. I checked my degree progress report which showed I had taken or was enrolled in every required course, however in red letters it said I was not eligible to graduate because I was 3 credits short. I confirmed this with my advisor. If I choose to graduate in December I must sign up for an accelerated course that would count as my elective course yet this semester. Anyone who knows me will probably tell you that at times I can be a know it all. (No REALLY I KNOW IT'S SHOCKING!!!) - so when I was choosing classes I figured this elective class thing was simply an option. I thought it didn't matter if I took it, but you know if I wanted to learn basket weaving or torture myself with some sort of Business Math class now that I passed Accounting for Idiots with an A and consider myself in the running to be the next CFO of General Mills, I had that option. I thought it was simply an option. Moral of the story kids... TALK TO YOUR ADVISOR!! Make sure each semester you monitor your degree progress and consult with your advisor about what you need to take so that you truly know you will graduate when you will. As I do with everything, I waited until the eleventh hour, when I got this email to consult with my advisor. What was I thinking???

I do have some very ancient college credits that MIGHT transfer. I am waiting to hear back from my advisor about those. When I started at NWTC I never had those colleges send the official transcript to NWTC because I knew only one of those classes, English Comp, would transfer to meet my program requirements. Since I took that class way back in 1990 - 150 years ago - I thought it best to re-take it at NWTC anyhow. Times have changed since my original college experience. Al Gore has invented the Internet, so we no longer need to pore through stacks of actual books in the library to do research - ok unless you are in Legal Research class, which in addition to online research tools, teaches us what they call in my law firm "old man research" - just in case of a complete crash of all technology, and this is truly a good thing! Point is, teaching and writing has advanced, so I felt it would be beneficial for me to take that English Comp class again in modern times. Regardless, I am checking with my advisor to see if I get the official transcripts, might any of those old school credits transfer? Possibly... but then again maybe they are just too old to be any good. If they don't, you might just see me sitting next to you in some random class next semester - basket weaving, photography, wine-making, welding, any suggestions are welcome!

Back to School

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 14:51:00 +0000

My last weekend of summer was spent moving. In fact, the weekend before was spent moving my son to Milwaukee, to be followed by an entire week of moving the rest of our household and belongings. Needless to say, it was not exactly the end of summer celebration that I may have had in years past. But we accomplished a lot. Thanks to the help of family and friends, we had help lifting heavy things, furniture in a box was put together, dishes put away and pictures hung on the walls. Which brings us to today, the first day of school, not only for my daughter who is in 7th grade, but my son who starts college classes at MSOE today. This morning I only had one child at home getting ready for school (her brother who will soon leave for the Air Force was still sleeping and the other getting himself ready in a city a few hours away), only one child to drop off. As a mother of twins, this was the first time in 13 years that I only had ONE child to prepare for the first day. My daughter Rachel is an old soul who is not only easily adaptable to change (The move was a breeze for her. She had her room set up within ten minutes of her furniture arriving), but is very independent. For a child who I used to call the little tornado or Messy Martha due to her mess of crafting creations scattered all over her room, I am impressed. She has suddenly become this little adult who has it all together, much more than her mommy does. This morning was a breeze compared to years past, but bittersweet realizing even my youngest child is a fully self sufficient mini adult at the age of 12!

Tonight I have my own first day of a class called Legal Aspects of Business Organization, so I will miss picking her up from school. She will walk home on her own, get into the house with her own keys, and likely have all of the papers organized that I am required to sign by the time I get home at 8pm tonight. So much has changed over the past few months, and I have had many tears about missing what once was. But today I am not only ready to get into a new routine myself, but begin a new chapter of my life, which is hopefully as good as the last one.

Happy day after Labor Day!

You're Gonna Miss This

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 12:42:00 +0000

The little guy on the right, in this photo… is going off to college in a few short days. This is how he still looks to me in my head even though he is now 18 years old!

On Saturday, my family of five will be taking one of my 18-year-old twin sons, Cody, to Milwaukee. Saturday will be the last time he will walk out of THIS house, the house he has lived in since he was 10 years old, as we will have moved by the time he makes a visit home. We will spend Saturday together in Milwaukee, celebrating his sister Rachel’s 12^th birthday. It will be the last time the five of us will be together for awhile. By the time Cody returns for a weekend visit or holiday, his twin brother, Mack, will likely be gone to Basic Training for the Air Force.

On Sunday, after we move Cody into his new Dorm room at Milwaukee School of Engineering, we will be down to four. In our family. Moving into our new home. I will probably cry all of the way home on Sunday because tears have been rolling down my face for the past 24 hours. I have been so busy, coordinating the chaos that is my life recently as CEO of my household that I haven’t had time to feel anything, although I had been waiting for the tears. Yesterday, thinking about my best friend taking her children on a family trip to enjoy one of their last days of summer, I started thinking about all of those late August trips my own family had gone on when the boys were the same age as her children. I told her to hang onto every moment she could and make that day last a lifetime, burn the memories into her brain, because in the blink of an eye she would be sending her oldest off to college in a city that no matter how close it is, is too far away for any mother. My tears have so many different meanings. They represent my sadness about my son leaving, and another one to leave in a few short months. Yet they also are tears of joy for the hope of the future, and what is yet to come. For all of my children. For my own life. I am so proud of the young man my son has become. His intelligence, self-discipline, kindness, caring and respect for others are just a few of his best traits. One night recently he told me he didn’t know how he would ever “re-pay” me for all I have done for him. Well kiddo, it’s “re-payment” enough to see you go out there and be the best man that you can become and follow your own dreams.

I have never dealt with change very well. Then suddenly boom goes the dynamite, I am hit with so many different changes all at once. I could not get through this without my very best friends, who give me a shoulder to cry on and help me look forward to the future, who give me strength, and make me feel less alone with the words “you are always in my heart and I feel what you are going through.” After all, when the boys were born, didn’t I tell everyone the best part about being a young mother was that I would ONLY be 41 when they grew up and moved out? If only then someone had told me, “You’re gonna miss this.” I probably would not have believed it anyhow, considering I was still growing up myself. Thank you Cody for helping me grow up, teaching me patience and being patient with me. You have grown into an amazing person with much to offer anyone who is blessed enough to have you touch their lives.

The Bucket List

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 11:37:00 +0000

A few years ago country singer Terri Clark had a hit single called “I Wanna Do It All.” The Green Bay radio stations even played a re-mix replacing “I want to watch the Yankees play ball” with “I want to watch the Packers play ball.” That song happened to play on my iPod on my commute to work in Appleton today and it got me thinking… (On a side note, statements like this are what that “dot dot dot” button was made for.) What comprises my list of “doing it all”?

First we have Terri Clarks list which includes the following:

1. Visit Paris in the Fall - been there, granted it was Spring way back in 1989… and NO this does not make me French, just like going to Japan does not make you Japanese, even though when I was recently asked if I was French due to a tattoo I have which is biblical verse written in French, I responded stupidly saying, “No. I went to France though!”

2. Watch the Yankees/Packers play ball - Never the Yankees but many times the Packers. Nothing compares to being at a football game inside Lambeau Field.

3. See Niagara Falls - I have… twice. From the U.S. side. Long story, however, I did get to the Canadian side via the Maid of the Mist. The falls were beautiful. I am not a huge fan of Canada though, and we will just leave it at that.

4. Drink Tequila down in Tijuana - Is Nogales close enough? Border hopping to Mexico via Arizona rather than California.

5. Get my heart broke once or twice, settle down with the love of my life and rock my babies to sleep at night - Yes yes yes and all of the above and I wouldn’t trade a minute of it, not even the bad parts.

6. Feel good in my skin, beating the odds with my back to the wall and trying to rob Peter without paying Paul - the two former are recent experiences for me, but it feels awesome and the latter I am an old pro at!!!

So what about my own “Bucket List”? Do I have one? Do YOU have one? Even though I am able to check off quite a few of Terri Clark’s must do items, what about my own? After all, I am the woman who once told a friend I didn’t understand the phrase “the one that got away” because I don’t have one. So maybe my expectations differ from those of others. I really had to rack my brain to come up with these. Some I have already accomplished and experienced, some I am working towards, and others are yet to come.

1. Swim in the pretty blue water - after years of my husband and I saying this to one another, this spring we finally swam in the ocean, the Caribbean to be exact, tasting the salt water and finally believing it really is turquoise water with white sand beaches. (Those photos in the travel brochures aren’t photo shopped!!!) Nothing like feeling that sand between your toes.

2. Write a book.

3. Drive a 1969 Mercedes Benz.

4. Visit every single National Park while taking an RV trip cross country with my husband and all three of my children and hug a big old Redwood tree when I get to California.

5. Live to hold my grandchildren and see them grow up.

6. Play Paintball.

7. Plant a garden.

8. Wear a fur coat to the grocery store – (there IS a story behind this one, a goofy one, but a story).

9. Hire an assistant to pull a red wagon behind me everywhere I go so I no longer have to worry about everything falling out of my purse/backpack/beach bag and digging in it like a bag lady every time I am at a checkout stand.

10. Learn how to appropriately scan and bag items at the self-checkout so ONCE … JUST ONCE…. I wouldn’t have to call an actual employee of the store over to help me!

11. Give BACK. Volunteer for worthy causes that I believe in – I have had a very rewarding experience volunteering in a Kindergarten class at one of the local schools, but I would like to expand on this, perhaps volunteering at pregnancy counseling center or the humane society.

12. Dance at my daughter’s wedding.

13. Go on a wine tour in Napa, Go on a wine tour in Italy, Go on a wine tour at Walgreen’s – oh wait, I already did that one!

14. Work as a missionary in the jungle of South America.

15. Live a simpler life with fewer belongings so that the “things” that measure me as a human being are not material possessions, but rather what’s in my heart – I have already started working toward this.

16. Earn a college degree – and then another, and another, and another - I am almost there with the first one thank you NWTC!!!

17. Have the kind of patience others have given to me – yes; I want to give up my need for immediate gratification.

18. Have lunch with Tina Fey, dinner with Justin Timberlake, drinks with Kid Rock and play laser tag with Barney from “How I Met Your Mother.”

19. Run through the house of someone who is an OCD perfectionist and tilt all of the pictures on the wall, mess up the hand towels, wash my hands with the decorative soaps, and turn all of their canned goods around and upside down so the labels are not perfectly facing front... JUST FOR FUN!!

20. Become the friend that a friend would like to have, modeled after those in my own life who have shown me that I truly CAN count on the kindness of good friends. Thank you, all of you, for what you do. I was once told that if you cannot be a good example, at least be a horrible warning. So thank you dear friends for giving a good example to this horrible warning. I love you all!

Tales of Welcome Days

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Tue, 14 Aug 2012 12:22:00 +0000

Yesterday, as a member and officer nominee for the open Public Relations position for Phi Theta Kappa, I volunteered to assist with NWTC Welcome Days. (I say this because even though I was not working to promote Phi Theta Kappa, I would have never gotten involved if not for my fellow Phi Theta Kappans.) So with the scent of "new t-shirt" (volunteers wore aqua t-shirts to identify ourselves to the new students) and the commons swarming with new students, I set about my business to assist with campus tours. It felt similar to being a Senior in High School and helping out the new Freshmen. In the past I have volunteered at an elementary school in a Kindergarten classroom, so I am familiar with the rewarding feeling of doing something just to do it. So many things in my life are done for a paycheck or for my own family, that to show some kindness to strangers was a really different thing. Making the new students feel welcome and not so alone is really important to our College. If we can help them to feel comfortable with this new adventure, regardless of whether they are just out of high school or if they are a returning adult student like myself, it will make NWTC a better place. It will make our school much more appealing. Unlike my own son's experience, which will include moving into a dorm in a few weeks, there is often much less camaraderie and sense of family built at a two-year facility like ours because we do not offer housing. Even at a four-year college, students that don't live on campus often feel as if they are "on the fringes." My goal yesterday was to squash that feeling for these new students. Not only did I want to simply walk them around pointing out classrooms and the library, but I also wanted to share with them what NWTC has done for my life and what we have to offer as far as activities and involvement. I wanted these new students to know that student involvement will make their experience more rewarding, to reassure them that they WILL make many new friends (and perhaps a more diverse group of friends) and that organizations like Phi Theta Kappa will recognize and honor their academic achievements. A mother of one of the new students who is going into Marine Engineering told me she was part of the Big Brothers Big Sisters program. She is a Big Sister to a high school student interested in the Paralegal Program. She had some questions for me and before we parted ways I gave her my contact information so that her Little Sister could get in touch with me if she wanted more information to get a sense of what the classes were like. It felt good to be able to offer that and maybe I could make a difference in the life of a young person. (Something my teenage self could never imagine doing !!!!)

While I was walking around with new students, I saw the husband of a very good friend, who is a welding instructor at NWTC. Volunteering with me was Casey Fryda's co-worker/counterpart whose name escapes me (short term memory loss begins in your 40's kids!!), who said to me "You write the blog!" when I introduced myself and made me feel like a celebrity!! If anyone doesn't know this, Casey is my supervisor for this blogging position. Hi Casey! One of my very best friends, whom I met my first semester at NWTC by some twist of fate, appeared in the commons to find that one of her primary instructors was assisting with my group as well. Along with my dear friend, was a very new friend who does not currently attend our school, who might possibly have been impacted enough to consider going to school here. It was good to see familiar faces, and good to see all of the new faces. I definitely look forward to the upcoming semester and appreciate the opportunity my return to college has given me. I am glad I did it - college, volunteering yesterday, and opening myself up to meeting new people and expanding my view of the world from the tunnel vision it had become in years past.

Time Waits for No One

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Fri, 10 Aug 2012 14:37:00 +0000

As I am thinking about starting Fall classes next week, it seems like it was not too long ago that I was walking into the first day of my first class of NWTC back in January of 2011. In some ways it feels like it was yesterday, and in other ways it feels like it was 100 years ago! It's the same way I feel when I realize in just 16 short days I will be bringing my son to Milwaukee to move into the dorms at MSOE. Where does time go? And why can't we freeze it on those days when life seems so beautiful and perfect and fast forward it on those days when we feel like things can't get any worse? Even yesterday my daughter, who is looking forward to her 12th birthday in a few weeks, told me that last year it felt like she had to wait FOREVER for her birthday, yet this year it seems to be coming up so quickly. Maybe it's true, the older we get, the faster the hands of time spin. The days when it seemed to tick tock at a snail's pace have long since passed me by. At my age, I feel like I am trying to grab every fleeting moment that is slipping away like trying to trap a bee in my cupped hand so it doesn't sting someone (ok, my nephew Max namely in this case, because believe it or not I actually did that! Shocking considering my lack of hand/eye coordination!)

If you are young and waiting impatiently for life to BEGIN, remember to slow down and enjoy the journey rather than spending every moment trying to get to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. Believe me, being a full fledged grown up is highly overrated!!! Tonight I will be visiting a friend who doesn't live very far away, but whom I haven't seen in far too long. Her twin girls were just babies like TWO SECONDS AGO, yet somehow they celebrated their fourth birthday this week. And though I know our friendship will always stand the test of time no matter how few and far between our visits become, I am going to make a concentrated effort to slow down and spend more time with the people that matter in my life. I am going to savor those moments instead of racing through them so I can get on to the next thing my busy life requires. And because time wait for no one, you should do the same.

Life Dealt Me a Bad Hand and Other Similar Excuses

noreply@blogger.com (Karrie Minor) — Fri, 03 Aug 2012 14:35:00 +0000

I could say that I am a "victim" of a sub-prime predatory zero down payment mortgages that banks were handing out like candy at a parade a few years ago. I am a victim of being promised that anyone, yes anyone, even those with a not so stellar credit history who don't possess enough cash to make a 10% down payment, deserves to live the American Dream, which at that time meant home ownership. My mortgage broker promised me that I had nothing to worry about, we would "make it work." He suggested that on my husband and my mutual payday, we transfer all of our funds into a savings account for just a few days before using it to pay bills (as those of us who live paycheck to paycheck must do on payday) and he would have the lender pull our bank information in that short window so that it would appear we had that 2-3 month reserves required by the lender. So of course, wanting to be a part of this amazing American Dream that all grown ups seemed to want, I did as I was told. Side note: prior to this I could not even commit to buying new furniture, content with hand me downs because a new couch was far too large of a lifelong commitment.

So was I a victim of a predatory mortgage? Or perhaps I was just a victim of my own stupidity? I am a smart woman and common sense should have told me that I was in no financial position to do a zero down loan with a mortgage payment far too high for the home I was purchasing. Was I a victim of my own senseless spending when money seemed endless, the economy seemed so great, and we could only be moving on up from here? Probably a little bit of both. It is easy to lay the blame on what we all know is the truth of what happened in those years and what the result of that is... And though I was promised via a television speech one evening that I would no longer have to lie in bed and worry about how to pay my mortgage, the processes put in place were so convoluted and tedious and repetitive with no actual results, that I finally gave up and gave in. I stopped trying, because the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. To try to save a home that I am not even really that attached to seems ridiculous. My emotions that surface when I realize in less than 60 days I will be leaving that house, have less to do with the actual structure, the real property, than they do the "home" part of it, which is about the PEOPLE who lived inside of that building and the memories we made. All of that could have easily happened with a different background. The house is simply a backdrop to our lives, but it isn't what made my family what it has been and what it is.

If I am honest with myself, I can admit that I have failed. I am not good at budgeting. My husband loves me enough to never throw it back in my face, as I was the CFO of our household. However, we both know it is true. Although we are both having a tough time with it, we must look ahead to a new chapter in our lives and learn from not only our mistakes, but the mistakes of that mortgage broker who promised us something we weren't prepared to live with, which wasn't the American Dream, it was being "house poor." Even though we will likely be moving to "cozier" quarters soon, in the form of a duplex or maybe even an apartment, we need to see it as an adventure. (Even though most people, like my nephew, don't like adventures unless they involve pirates or dinosaurs... this will be good for us. Change is good.) So as we choose our new place to live, we can't go in with non-negotiables. Everyone will not be 100% happy. The art of compromise again - everyone is a little bit happy, everyone is a little bit miserable. The important part is that we will have each other and we will still have a lot of love in our lives.