kate - rambling meandrously

Waiting is really such a big turnoff.

2012-01-28T01:41:00.000+08:00

I feel bad for my childhood friend (or friend since childhood?) for having to talk to her husband only through the internet despite the fact that, contrary to my own situation, he is a bus ride away, I think. She has to cry and spill tears and use up tissue, when she has a shoulder whom she should be doing those things to. What's the point of being married in that situation anyway?

Lately, I have been daydreaming immensely on weddings, honeymoons, dream cars, dream houses and so on, but seeing her like that makes me want to ask why am I dreaming away? And that I should look beyond those tears and keep myself busy with dreaming because this is the prize of being able to wait... Waiting, in the time of the Lord, on His real blessed plan for us.

Which I have failed on another aspect. I am a nurse, at least, by the card but not yet in my (coming) work. I have been too anxious for 4 months after my board exam, with everyone else asking about me and my current employment status, and worse, my family's financial aspect. I was offered job after job not related to my course... but hey, I thought, if I will be working for something I wasn't prepared for, why not go for something which offers best? I grabbed the opportunity and in less than a week, I was summoned for interview schedules in a hospital.

And another hospital after 1 month.

He Went His Way to His Dreams...

2011-12-15T19:41:00.001+08:00

I woke up at the crack of dawn, still dazed from a 4-hour sleep, with eyes still visibly swollen after applying an eye cream, struggling to arise and look forward to the day ahead. Well, today, I shall again come to NAIA and say my goodbyes to a loved one. It's not the first time that I say goodbye to someone and lose him or her to other countries, but today, I think my heart went out flying too.

It was the familiar company of his family - his mom, dad, aunt, cousin, and nephew - were with us on our way to the departure gate of the airport. They were busy retelling stories of old from what they have missed from each other since they left; on the other hand, we were quite drowsy from our one-day marathon of our effort to be dauntless before our parting. I just couldn't believe that it was just last night that we have managed to do something we have long hoped for in years.

We were out last night, crossing out together things from his checklist, like buying personal stuff he's supposed to have yet still unavailable. He also succeeded to make me try out this cool new restaurant that's been recently looming out from everywhere, and much to our surprise, we were treated like VIPs. (Maybe it was because we were from Vigan #matching shirts) It was my first time, it was his nth.

It was also last night when we sneaked out to catch a glimpse of the so-called meteor shower, only to find out that a.) it was VERY cloudy and b.) it was starting to rain and C.) It was our first time just lying around under the night sky... It was very rewarding to just lie there among the grass, with a song you both know is very appropriate to what you two were having just right there. We started singing... my tears are already shedding out... then it started to rain.

All those farewells from the night and days before, made me realize it's all coming down to this day. But what tugged from my heartstrings were the words, "sabi mo kasi re-review-hin kita e..." (His answer when asked "Bakit nga naghintay ka pa ng 4 years bago ka nag-abroad?") and it was true, I said that while he was still reviewing for his own board exam, and I was still in high school...

Today, I just chose to start my day with ambivalence; the feeling of both a daydream and a nightmare. I knew that this day would come, a nightmare that we'll have to part from each other; but at the same time, dream of the future that this will soon be over and we'll then be hand in hand again.

It's one of those days again.

2010-11-25T20:15:00.000+08:00

It's one of those days again... when I look in the mirror, grief-stricken tears rolling on my cheeks, weakened by an hour of weeping and asking myself: "Why?"

Why did I consent to a lifelong commitment with the things I don't have compassion about when it is what all it needs: compassion, caring, service, ....? I knew I'd come to this point from the time I have decided to let my parents decide for my life. I knew back then that someday would come when I blame that day when I gave them my "fine".

"Fine" - fine that I'll do it for them. Fine that I'll spent 6 years of my life, at least, pleasing them and making me feel good for the benefits that someday I'll end up getting. But you know what?

Mom, Dad. I'm tired. I can't satisfy your vision for me anymore.

The pathway you chose for me just can't lead me back to happiness that I should be having right now. You're not the ones who end up having 2 hours sleep to study. You're not the one being ....

*turns lazy*

Fashion Ambassador :3

2010-11-12T02:00:00.001+08:00

I've just read from Tricia's and Domz's sites that they are now officially the ambassadors for Fashion 21, one of the biggest names in the fashion industry taking over the Philippines, and well. What can I say? Of course, I'm jealous T_T

hey!

2010-11-11T20:16:00.000+08:00

I had just put up a new site with wordpress, but hosted by Sis Anne of Pinkfab.info. Still updating it and all :) I just need to do so for the mean time. still keeping this blog friends! ;)

Second to the Last Semester :)

2010-11-08T19:37:00.005+08:00

gradeslip says, "hi world!"

hahaha

I got my gradeslip today, at around 14:21, claimed with an "I-just-got-out-from-the-laundry" test permit (because my mom dumped my bag on the laundry trying to get it cleaned up --which I eventually did), with at least 5 clinical instructors watching me hand it out to the administrator of the grade slips.

Funnier thing during that moment was , my friend has left his test permit again! :p first was during the signing of clearance/issuance of finals stamp.

I was so disappointed with myself, for not fighting for at least some point higher grade... a Full Scholarship requirement is a grade not lower than 1.75 and an average of not lower than 1.50.

To think of it, a "0.08" point difference from that cutoff would cost me about, say, P22,000. Imagine what I could have done with that money. It's enough to pay for a review center in preparation for the Nursing Licensure Exams! o_o

Sembreak 2010 ~ my last :3

2010-11-07T22:49:00.004+08:00

So yesterday, we went up hiking towards the National Arts Center founded on the heart of Mount Makiling, Los Baños, Laguna. :) It was such a sunny-cloudy-turned-drizzly day (if there's such a thing), which made it best for hiking since the humidity balance in the air did not really matter much, in contrast with the temperature and all during the summer.

We were all there: Jec, Haze, Pat, Arn and Moi :) about 2 hours later than the posted time, we were starting our trek to the top. I loved how there were 2 DSLR cameras available for photography *thinking I could be one of the subjects :p and hurrying on our way because last time Arnie and I were about to hike at the same site, closing time just hit the clock. :3

it was a tiring 1.5 hour climb to the top, with ups and downs, as usual. then there were those other spectators of the mountaintop view. If I haven't paid attention, I then should have known that:

- they were on their way upwards while we were starting uphill

- they were those same guys who were about to descent just about when we were on our 750 meter distance away from the scene

totally uncool. 8(

at least we got beautiful photos! XD

thanks kuya pat! ;)

2010-11-07T22:45:00.000+08:00

dear blog,

i really want to earn money right now. -.-

I think I was very productive yesterday :)

2010-09-29T22:22:00.008+08:00

Yesterday, council mates JR and I had our own jaunt, if you may, in Manila... the thrill of being granted the chance of going out of town, without spending any money from your own pocket during schooldays! How I loved the concept. ;) Watching planes launching and landing gave me excitement, since I have always wanted to be an in-flight nurse, he wanted to be a pilot. Cooooool! ^^,

We were supposed to claim the pre-ordered plaques for the upcoming CAM (College of Allied Medicine) week, keenly searching for the store with the same address as with the given receipt, our only map.

Much to our surprise, the owner was not there, and he was actually already talking to one of the staff. We inquired about our orders, the phone guy requested for one of us and *wait for it* IT WAS NOT YET READY! After all the dusty, smoky traffic we have gotten ourselves into for an hour and a half, the stalking of a student whose school was supposed to be from across the street, the excitement of taking home the gold from the mine, *poof!* it burst my bubble.

So we had no choice left but to take responsibility of having another task: buying swim wear for the pageant's segment of showing off your body and having confidence on it. Of course, it was never a busy job. We wasted time scouting for shops nearby, and people were just directing us somewhere we were not looking for. Funny how we were instructed to find a certain place when it was actually what we skipped before heading somewhere else. XD

This is me, "trying out" the *gulps* one-piece bathing suit the contestants are about to wear, taking a photo for future reference :p We almost thought this moment would not arrive, since we only found the 90's type of bathing suit in the previous stalls we were in. And wow...how I wished I brought money for the trip. Everything on display was what my eyes were craving for. -.-

We were bargaining this violet suit for a lower price, which took a while, and when we finally decided on a price, that's when we knew that there was only 1 piece of the thing...and what? we needed 8 of the same kind!!!! -.-

.........

anyway, we headed back to school after a quick meal at the jeep, on the bus, after sleeping throughout the distance. 3 hours late! and I was assigned reporter for the day. how pathetic. -.-

I love my teacher for still allowing us to take part in her class that day *which was reportedly similar to a school program which began with our classmates singing The Prayer!!! :))))) funeeeh! XD

6 months and counting

2010-09-19T16:11:00.002+08:00

A call last week has always been resounding in my mind thinking that I have to do something, well, heartbreaking for the most part. I know that all things shall not be final until every process is complete but who cares? everyone else is expecting to move forward and all.

laaaazy

2010-09-15T20:03:00.002+08:00

i can't even remember when was the last time i was here. too lazy to do blogs anymore.. --,

Photo Shoot with Erika + Walking a km

2009-03-10T18:45:00.003+08:00

I was headed home from a worthless spending of money on transportation (we had no classes, except for some finals requirements thing) when I saw Arian and some other friends (Ekay and Mel) at my last stop before going home ~ which is the tryk terminal. :p

Turns out that they are going out for a photography session for Ekay's elective. Good thing I was wearing some kind of coverup to save myself from humiliation with the uniform that we had to be wearing. (Which was hideous. ESPECIALLY that I have no shoes to at least alleviate its chicness or something.)

We saw many snails around every bush gracing the aisles of our territorial landmark, and ooh - they can really make you have chills! We took pictures mostly of things around us, and I tell you, they're all very artsy and creative. I adore 3sh's shots the most, maybe because of the style the photographer used.

Parting ways happened when they are about to move to another place for their shoot. It was twilight again, so I pursued to go home. Since it was halfway through to our door, I decided to walk instead that I'll save money this time.

I just joined PLURK // eat all you can at ortigas! :D

2008-12-03T02:53:00.000+08:00

*after months of being insisted of joining, I finally joined PLURK and had my Karma up to 8.++ as of now... to compute, it's after 4 hours? I hope it's a good start. :D*

Yesterday, we went to Ortigas through a bus ride from Calamba, Laguna. We were supposed to log just in front of the mall when the bus wouldn't stop from running. Turns out, the MMDA has set rules that the next stop after Mantrade in their bus route would be in front of POEA, under the flyover roads!

Anyway, my family and I tried to have a meal in Megamall, in one of the stores with the promo, Eat-All-You-Can... :) At least, we arrived on time, just minutes before the Rominas arrived. They were there with tita Elvie's sister. Disturbingly, Krizzia and Cindy had the same clothes! The difference? Their style. I was laughing hard when I saw the two of them.. XP

After our meal, I was so full my tummy almost burst. It was very hard to walk. I never knew that I'd reach the other side of the mall in my pace. haha, weird, but true. :) Then after some time deciding that we leave, we headed to the overpass. Since there are only two bus stops south bound of the Sta. Cruz Laguna bus trip, we headed again to POEA where we boarded the bus.

I'm telling you, we did not get tired, but our full stomach turned average at that rate.

new post! :D

2008-11-29T22:38:00.002+08:00

yey, after a long time!;) and I missed blog hopping.. :o

anyway, sorry if there's no link for comments in here.. I put the codes,but it did harm to the layout...O_O I'll be changing my skin as soon as I can.

*********

This day started at 11.45. Yes, I woke up so late because I was so tired from the whole day class and internet sessions for my wp blog. I hope you visit it because it was so hard to ~~design~~ modify the theme I have downloaded. It was until 2.30 that I kept myself busy for the activity. Good thing I showered before I did made my habit of addiction take over me.

I think the only distraction was the MYX's Wer U At! :D They went to Enchanted Kingdom (which is just a jeepney ride away, worth p20++, emphasizing that it's not THAT far)...would you believe, I've only been there once?! We have lived here in Calamba Laguna for 11 years, and EK is 13 years old?! It's too much of a sarcasm. Hope I beat that before this year ends.

How? My friends are planning on a weekend spree at that amazing place and it would be the perfect opportunity to spend time with each other (since it's been a while that we've been together after high school.) There's also plans with my mom, my sister and Arnie that we go there during the holidays. My college friends are also wanting to go there any time soon.

There's three options already, obviously. Hope there won't be hindrances for these opportunities.

I'll blog hop soon. I miss my OL friends. Love lots, Kate. :D

my other blog's missing!

2008-11-25T20:22:00.002+08:00

I can't seem to find my other blog. It seems to have been deleted! It's such an unfortunate event because by this time, I am actually itching to personalize things and then things happen. :(

Ronald Rosas?

2008-11-10T15:32:00.003+08:00

The last post I had had been commented by I think one of my former classmates. Could it really be Ronald Melvin Rosas, who used to be one of the reasons why I enjoyed my third year in high school, was him?

I remember having mistaken someone whom I thought was from my "history" or my class, or somewhere else when it was actually one of the special people on my life long list of friends. ;) It was too much embarrassing because I have thought of people from out of nowhere, even him who would never actually call, especially that it has been long enough for us to talk (again). *We just saw each other recently after almost three years*.

I was acting like funny in a romantic way, when he was actually not on my list which I mentioned. haha, too funny to remember! ;)

What I did then was to tell him to introduce first before talking and all because of that incident. Since then, he was like, "hello, this is *****"...in favor of me. hahaha.

Anyway, whoever you may be, come back please? :)

sembreak trip.

2008-10-27T18:43:00.000+08:00

I'm off to Region I...XD see you when I see you! ;)

currently here at school.

2008-10-10T17:15:00.008+08:00

We're studying html today, like we did when we were seniors...and yes, there's a desire to stand out by using MS Frontpage for more options and all. Too bad, it was already deleted from my program files since we reformatted our pc... Through chat last night, he was at least making efforts to make it available, for me (and my selfish desires.)

This day is as boring as ever - contrary to what I was expecting last night. I was busy trying to review for our lessons and at least read our handouts for anticipated quizzes as announced by our instructors. I woke up early just to be on time (and I was already panicky knowing that there's only 5 minutes left before 7:30.) As I climb up the plight of stairs to the room at the end of the hallway, I found myself almost alone. I was the third one to land my feet on our class's grounds.

What turned out to happen was:

Our first instructor did not attend class. What we did instead was finish errands for our clearances and had our test permits imprinted with the final seal needed. (It was the best time, I must say. Just this afternoon, our corridors were filled with people too many to be accommodated.)
We were given a chance to choose: either to make our finals' test I and record it as quiz or we take the quiz without any studying done. We chose the former, but it's like as if we chose the wrong one. There was an imminent response from him, mind you, saying, "Dapat sigurado kayo sa pinili niyo a?"
My handout in this third subjectwas already wet for all the times I was handling (and reading) it as we run duties from up and down the stairs.
We just had our final class in PE and it was pen-and-paper style - with one simple instruction: list down everything you learned during the sem.

Much for that, I realized, I need to savor every moment... I need to make it last because it would be the last week that this semester would last.

The day we spoke to each other again.

2008-10-02T19:41:00.001+08:00

This week's some kind of a H*ll ride. To start off,my Sunday was unexpectedly surprising - we went to church at Los Baños, at GBC where Ji goes to church at. (Of course, his dad leads the whole church and preaches there).

Then it all came back to one sweet smile, with the greeting of Hi. He was holding Joshua then. It all came back as if nothing happened.

He told Esther that he's just being civil. I don't know what to expect. haha.

we're texting each other...(at least until tuesday)

one down, two to go.

2008-09-10T11:27:00.002+08:00

Talking about the last straw, I have been seriously having mine early yesterday. I was late for class for the nth time, and so my teacher decided AGAIN not to touch, even just glance, over our research paper which made me, even Arnie, to lack sleeping hours!

I really have been running late in the morning, but what I did choose to do before I leave our village was to get back up to running home because I left something unnecessarily important - my lunch. I was stupid enough to consider heading back home because I failed to see the effort my mom gave in preparing my lunch. So there, I was left out with a bigger consequence. :(

Another problem is with my friends back in UPLB. I have failed to visit them for the nth time, though there were no appointments really, (except for the birthdays I have missed). There's Cathy's, Arian's and now Renz's. I really wanted to go, truly. Unfortunately, my schedule has always been wrapped up. Especially during Tuesdays and Fridays on which their birthdays have fallen upon.

The things I really consider of a problem with these issues are: time, company and money.

First, time because of my schedule and all. During Mondays, I have to be in Batangas from 8-5 pm and of course, there are extra curricular activities waiting to be done. Also, having some kind of an organization would mean tasks to do and things to get started. When do we meet? Every saturday. There's also times when I have to go to Parañaque to stay overnight because of family and church affairs.

Company, pointins directly to my friends over there. Of course, since they are with each other for the rest of their college activities whether academic or not, they have grown close enough to make me feel out of place everytime I visit.

And of course, with our depressing economy, ...nuff said.

Then, there's someone who got mad at me. Lamely because of a certain truth I have emphasized thru text which did not even involve anybody else but a few people in our class. While we reconciled after some time the next day after, a few minutes later, our other close friend remembered about the text and therefore I answered his question. Then again, he laughed about finding out IN FRONT of him, and there he went furious again. It took me 5 days before I got our friendship back with numerous talks involving different people about our situation.

I missed everything we used to share, especially when people were talking about Photoshop and Cadbury Fruit and Nut - which we have been enjoying commonly among ourselves. Then, about a minute before we leave school, there he was smiling at me and then I had my tears bulge up along my outer canthus (?).

Not that I'm crushing on him or anything (as anyone has been thinking), I remain true to our friendship. Besides, I'm enjoying my time spent with .... XD

WORST friend anyone can ever have.

2008-08-20T17:28:00.001+08:00

I'm currently overwhelmed by kuya E. haha. Thanks for the Cinnamon Rolls. Those were such relief in times of unwanted classes and classmates who've been physically distressed. (Good thing I don't experience dysmenorrheal kind of pain whatever, plus the fact that I'm regular when period comes).

I've been such an insignificant friend lately. For third year in a row, I have not been able to see my dear Ditse as she celebrated her 19^th birthday. I actually had no choice because this time, it fell between the choice of either answering and finishing my 6 exams last Friday or go to LB to be with our friends to celebrate with her.

Of course, she had such wonderful time, having almost our entire batch mates greet her and all, with only 2 of us (I can't remember who the other one was) who were not able to see her that time. I hate it, like I am the worst friend any one could ever have. -_-

Then, recently, my classmate who was experiencing her irregular period was left behind, having only me as her close friend (without Nica, since last week because of her family problems), and she almost crawled her way to the clinic from the third floor because she was too unconscious of her situation – experiencing pain in her abdominals, vomiting, headache – she was almost out of consciousness.

Where was I? Spending time laughing, playing around and jerking with my long time lost friend whom I have so much of similarities (including sweaty palms and soles) – and I bet you know him from my previous post. I almost ripped of his whole uniform, good thing it was only one of his buttons that fell off of him. XD I missed him because I had no one to talk about long stories about various topics either seriously or otherwise. Not that I've got no one to talk to or anything, but there's just something different in him. (However, as much as most of those who see me with him think that I'm crushing on him, apparently, the answer's NOT! It's just those friendly bonds which I already accomplished with him.)

He was finding his way again towards us, since he tried to go another road just some time ago because, according to someone else, he was too despaired because of my (unconscious) degeneration of him – when I'm not really that kind of a friend. Those were all just playful antics pulled on everyone else as him. And I'm really sorry; I've been so selfishly focusing only on my emotions and have been failing to recognize others'.

Then there's also this friend who's been desperately needing one, and last week in fact called almost all of us, without someone to answer her calls either because of work overload or whatsoever kind of acts. As for my situation that time, I was already busy trying to have a good night sleep because I have foreseen the need for it (and I was right, after that 12-hour sleep, it took me 72 hours before I sleep again soundly). She was almost crying, and all that she found to be conversation with me was, "Nica,next time na lang, text na lang tayo." After that, I did not know what happened next.

.....O_O

2008-08-06T17:33:00.004+08:00

Cindy, Zaida and Chelcy (who was having her 13th birthday today) went here just this afternoon to spend some time with each other. Unfortunately, my mom and I have been at Crossing to run some errands. Our trip also included having to spree around the city and do some on-the-list shopping with my mom, with the addition of many other things unconsciously bought. XD

Pizza, which they themselves bought at the local pizza parlor, was served together with milkshakes they bought on their own. My mom and I had loathed Cindy since she did not gave us time to prepare for her visitors. Instead, I found my mom cook lunch for us [at around 3pm!]

Yesterday was Nicher's (arnie's nephew from his cousin) first birthday. I was invited, but I did not come since my classes ended at 7 pm already! I would have loved to come lest he fetched me (haha) because my mom also wanted me to come for the food. hahaha, talk about eating! XD

About school, I was so stupid to inform Jam about ____'s plan to leave. Why? Maybe I was so stricken with grief since I found out that ____ would leave in the near future also! XC Like, it's the nth news I heard about leaving school and transferring to other place and continue studying in that place! It's not that I want them to have a hard time to leave, but of course, who would want to be away from your close friends! Those whom you already considered as part of your life( and things of the same context)...

Of debuts and school works

2008-07-31T05:39:00.001+08:00

I am actually supposed to write a blog yesterday. Thanks to our defective cord extension, I have been longing all day to make it happen. I also needed to have for myself a completion of our school project. Nonetheless, I haven't done anything. Anyway, I have browsed deviantart for ideas, and I had some cool collections already. We were supposed to make a debut invitation, which would apply the different formatting and everything else basic IT thought us. Like, duh, we know how to use MS word, okay?!

Thanks to the people there, they have posted different ideas – wonderful and fanciful and worthy to be praised; I just want to use some ideas from what they have posted because I never actually attended any debut party yet.

Yes, you read that right. While everyone else is busy preparing whatever they are to wear or how would they look like on pictures that would soon be published in different social networking sites or whatever, I find myself thinking who's debut is it that could fit me in, and yes, I am desperate.

Not that I don't have any friends or that they don't celebrate birthdays, it's just that they're not really preparing for it. O_O Who would anyway? The country's situation is so much of a lowdown and where would it put our family but far down under.

Talk about my own, I'll be celebrating my debut soon enough (January next year). I have constantly teased my mom and my friends that I'll be having a party by the time I pass the board exam. (Like it would happen fast! O_O) Hey, Bianca celebrated hers at 23! And she's from Ateneo! O_O

Anyway, I would have to study for our quiz, haha. I told my mom I'm only going to have sounds while reading. -_- 2 hours left before I take it!

nvm

2008-07-24T21:47:00.003+08:00

I just got home tonight from a very long day. The transport group just imposed a strike to the mass and I was eagerly wanting to have our classes suspended since I am not ready [or am I just never ready?] to undergo the process of skills demonstration of taking the blood pressure. What I was having problems of was that I couldn't hear the Korotkoff sounds which are produced by the blood as it hits the arteries with its wave. It turned out that my stethoscope was closed whatever. nevermind. I have to sleep.

currently listening to migraine.

2008-07-15T20:12:00.003+08:00

I feel down. I just got 78 for my Filipino quiz which nobody believed to be THAT bad. I know I have been feeling ~~DOWN~~ since earlier this day but I cannot really discern what has been happening inside of me...and trust me, you wouldn't actually care.

Our preliminary exam is like 1 day away so I really have to study.. Still, I chose to be with my bestfriend, my blog.. and I admit it - I need to study.

But I can't concentrate because I have been having my eyes on a new phone. Walkman phone + 3.2 mp camera is, I think, somewhere near my reach, so I have been thinking of availing it... but I couldn't even tell it to my dad because I know that we really are having our last coins emptying every money-containing-wallets-and-coin-banks [which is actually overstated,but is almost what we really are] and also because I have not been considering communications to him [for almost about 5 days] until last night when I sent him a text message...